Many great things in the world come in six-pack form – why not upset picks in college football? Because of that and more, KP is sitting a six-pack of his favorite “upset brew” in front of himself every Saturday going forward. For every game he gets right, he cracks one open – OK, so he might do so anyway, but let’s keep that one on the down low.

Here’s his 12-pack of games for Week Seven – a skunky six-pack that he’s avoiding and the six-pack of “Upset Brew” that he’s promoting. Only time will tell as to whether you think he’s nuts, or we’re both drinkin’ the same Kool-Aid. Either way, bottoms up! * **


The Skunky Six – Not touchin’ ‘em with a ten-foot pole

Oklahoma –7 vs. Texas
Sam Bradford has been off the charts, and I see him slicing and dicing Texas and their 98th ranked pass defense.

North Carolina –7.5 vs. Notre Dame
KP has the Domers hanging in there throughout, but he likes Carolina’s weapons too much to pick against them – especially the all-purpose dynamo Brandon Tate.

East Carolina –6 at Virginia
I’m not falling for Virginia’s 31-0 shutout win over Maryland. The Terps are bipolar, beating ranked teams over back-to-back weeks, while falling to Middle Tennessee State and the Cavs.

South Carolina –1.5 at Kentucky
Spurrier’s offense hasn’t impressed me – though his defense has. The ‘Cats gave ‘Bama a battle, and I picture a 9-6 yawner in this game – maybe even 3-2 with a walk-off homer.

Auburn –18.5 vs. Arkansas
I know everyone is trashing the Tigers for their lackluster offense, but let’s remember this is an Arkansas team that nearly lost to Western Illinois and ULM.

Missouri –14 vs. Oklahoma State
I know the Zou’s defense has struggled at times, and the Cowboys have played well under the man who was 40 last year. Still, this is Chase Daniel, Heisman candidate – at home.

Upset Brew – Six potential upsets for Week Seven

Wake Forest –3 vs. Clemson
Both teams had bye weeks, giving each time to lick their wounds after tough losses (Clemson to Maryland and Wake to Navy). The Tigers, while again underachieving under Coach Bowden, present a number of offensive headaches for the Demon Deacons. Clemson blew out Wake last year 44-10, and this year’s team will prevail again – in a nail biter and a minor upset.

Michigan State –2.5 at Northwestern
There’s one thing we know about the Spartans – they live and die by the offense generated by RB Javon Ringer. Ringer will get his usual heavy workload, but Northwestern’s rush defense has been better than respectable – 35th in the nation to be exact. The ‘Cats will throw everything including the kitchen sink at Ringer and the Spartans running game, and coupled with C.J. Bacher and Tyrell Sutton on offense, I see Northwestern knocking off a Michigan State team that always seems to fold midseason onward.

Kansas –14 vs. Colorado
It took everything Kansas had to make a second half charge to beat Iowa State last week. This week, the Jayhawks face a Colorado team that is desperately seeking a bounce back game after losing the last two weeks to Florida State and Texas. The Buffs have given a better Kansas team a tight battle the last two seasons, and this year, Cody Hawkins and the boys break through in a shocker.

Miami –17 vs. Central Florida
Last week, the Hurricanes were ranked 106th in total offense, which is abysmal, even after facing better teams like Florida, North Carolina, and Florida State. Robert Marve and this young Miami team needs more time to grow within the system. George O’Leary and the Knights are no slouch – they gave South Florida all they could handle in an OT thriller. UCF and their talented secondary give Marve headaches all day long – in an upset win.

Iowa –6 at Indiana
Iowa may sport the 19th ranked rush defense in the nation, but they haven’t faced a versatile weapon like Indiana’s Kellen Lewis. The Hoosiers QB can run and throw, and should present a variety of headaches for the Hawkeyes. Iowa hasn’t won more than seven games since 2004, including losing back-to-back seasons to Indiana. Make that three.

Florida –6 vs. LSU
While KP feels for his Gator friends regarding this pick – and expects a smack down, it’s the headliner that had to be taken. Some may call it a tossup, but the Gators are favored by nearly a touchdown while playing at home in the Swamp. Percy Harvin may or may not play due to injury, and Tebow hasn’t quite been his lights out self this season. Somehow, some way, Les Miles manages to find ways to win, with ballsy fourth down calls (including 5 for 5 last year against the Gators), and so on. Urban has lost once at home already this year, and this weekend makes two.

To recap, this week’s Upset Brew Six-Pack:
Clemson, Northwestern, Colorado, Central Florida, Indiana, and LSU

Pick a six-pack yourself – winner gets props next week.

Until next week, have a cold one on KP.

* Stats from Week 6
** Spreads taken from USA Today website

Viva la chump! Back by popular demand, here are the individuals in college football that wish this weekend’s performances would just go away. Let this be “tackling fuel” for each going forward:


College Football’s Week Six “All-Chump” Team

QUARTERBACK

Starter:
Tom Brandstater – Fresno State
12 for 24, 204 yards, 3 INT, lost fumble in a 32-29 OT loss to Hawaii

This weekend, Brandstater and the Bulldogs were like Senator Larry Craig – caught with their pants down.

Backup:
Curtis Painter – Purdue
13 for 22, 112 yards, 1 INT in a 20-6 loss to Penn State

Once again, Painter struggled against the Nittany Lions. This performance was like Clay Aiken’s recent news – nothing new and nothing we didn’t know already.

RUNNING BACK

Starter:
Maryland’s Running Game
21 carries for 79 yards in a 31-0 loss to Virginia

Virginia’s rush defense was ranked 93rd in the country entering the weekend. In a game where they were expected to be the hare, Maryland was instead just… well… the turtle.

WIDE RECEIVER

Starter:
Jaison Williams – Oregon
4 catches for 31 yards in a 44-10 loss to USC

Considered a top receiver in the country according to many, more was expected from Williams in this game – and more was needed. Instead, all night long, he was covered by a Trojan. Uhh, you know what I mean…

TRENCHES: O-LINE & D-LINE

Starter:
Tennessee O-Line
Allowed Northern Illinois defense to limit the run game to 2.2 yards per carry in a 13-9 win

It isn’t just the offensive line, but more the offense as a whole for the Vols. Before this weekend, Northern Illinois faced two directional schools, Minnesota, and Indiana State. After this weekend, NIU’s defensive numbers improved after facing the Vols. Yikes.

Even Al Davis is trying to find a way to fire Coach Fulmer.

Starter:
Michigan D-Line (and defense as a whole)
Allowing Illinois to pile up over 500 total yards and 45 points – at Michigan Stadium

Juice Williams and his 431 total yards is a new Michigan Stadium record. Until further notice, Michigan’s new team rallying cry is “Go Boo”.

RUSH DEFENSE

Starter:
Kentucky Rush Defense
Gave up 282 yards on the ground (including 218 to Glen Coffee) in a 17-14 loss to Alabama

Give the ‘Cats credit for a great effort to upset ‘Bama – but after allowing a 200-yard game to Coffee, it’s safe to say that Kentucky’s coaching staff will stick to decaf this week.

PASS DEFENSE

Starter:
Kansas State Wildcats
Allowed 454 yards passing and 6 TD’s to Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell in a 58-28 loss

While Texas Tech’s offense is potent – it’s fair to assume that a secondary filled with Gary Coleman clones would have faired better against the Red Raiders passing game.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Starter:
Chris Summers – Purdue
0-2 FG’s plus a missed extra point in a 20-6 loss to Penn State

It’s safe to say that it’s Fall in West Lafayette – and “Summers” is over.

With that being said, the sun is setting on another week in college football.


Until next time, do your best to avoid being a chump.

It was another wild week in the world of sports – one of the craziest in a while, as a matter of fact.  In college sports, it was “upset city”.  In the pros – “choke city”.  But no matter what city you’re in, the tomatoes aren’t far away – take the following bushel – shipped straight to Upset City, USA.

Throwing Tomatoes – Volume XVIII

 USC

It wasn’t slated as a sexy matchup – the Beavers and Trojans.  Keep your mind out of the gutter!

Sure, Oregon State deserves props, but on the USC side, this one has to fall on Coach Carroll.  First conference game in a pumped up environment, and plain and simple, the Trojans didn’t appear ready to play.  I guess team prep is what really is becoming “ridiculously difficult”.

 

Georgia

I heard Uga VII kept trying to lift his leg on the offense during the first half.

It wasn’t just a blackout for the ‘Dawgs, but more a black-and-blue-out.  Give them some credit though, they fought hard in the second half, even after falling behind 31-0 to ‘Bama – and as tough as the SEC is, Georgia is still right in the thick of things.

 

Florida

Somewhere out there, Ed Orgeron is smiling.

Ole Miss is talented – just ask former head coach Ed Orgeron, who also had a hand in recruiting a lot of USC’s talent a few years back.  With that being said, the Gators let this one slip away.  I don’t agree with the fourth down call – either go for the 50-yard game winner or try a different play call – but that’s just me.

 

Wisconsin

Nine turnovers made this game messier than Charlie Sheen’s love life.

The Badgers just can’t find a way to beat the Wolverines at Michigan Stadium.  Plain and simple, they shot themselves in the foot by settling for four first half field goals after all those Michigan turnovers.  The result – a huge win for Rich Rod and Michigan.

 

East Carolina

“Houston, we have a problem”.

It’s hard to believe this was the team that beat Virginia Tech and West Virginia to open the season.  After dropping an overtime heartbreaker to N.C. State, the Pirates were beaten down by Houston.  Yes, Houston.

 

Wake Forest

It was more sink than swim for Riley Skinner and the Demon Deacons.

Six turnovers and 43 yards rushing was all Wake Forest could muster up – in what ended up being Navy’s first win against a ranked team since 1985.

 

Clemson

Ouch!!  I think I just sat in Tommy Bowden’s seat – or maybe it was Phil Fulmer’s…

The Terps are solid, and should be ranked after knocking off back-to-back ranked teams.  Even so, Clemson is loaded – and continues to underachieve.  With two losses already – Bowden and the coaching staff may finally pay the price.

 

Honorary Tomato Throwers of the Week

Because those who found success earn a chance to sling one at their opposition

Duke – at Virginia, after a 31-3 win that ended a 25-game ACC losing streak.

Trimane Goddard – at Miami, after stealing a game clinching interception on the final play.

 

This has been “Throwing Tomatoes”… where “Choke City” is just down the street – check it out.

Two weeks ago, the world was convinced the USC Trojans were by far the best team in college football.

Two days ago, the talk was how tough the road would be for the stronger SEC and Big 12 teams to get to the title to face USC.

A few hours ago, everything changed.

Something happened to USC in Corvallis – again.  The Trojans left Oregon State’s campus with a quizzical look on each of their faces, in the form of 5’6” Jacquizz Rodgers, who ran big, totaling 186 yards on the ground against a USC defense that many felt was the most dominant in the country.  The result: a shocking Oregon State victory, 27-21 over the top ranked Trojans.

Let it be a lesson learned to all college football fans out there – this game is like David Blaine - unpredictable.  There are no sure things – certainly not in September.  Not ever.

USC looked dominant against Virginia.  

USC looked dominant against Ohio State.

USC looked overmatched by an Oregon State team that was completely manhandled by Penn State just a few short weeks ago.

And now the door is open.  Sooners: here’s your chance to walk through.  Knock, knock – who’s there – it’s the ‘Dawgs.  Ding, #### – who’s that, it’s the Gators.

Meanwhile, the door is closing on the Trojans.  After all, the rest of the way, USC has no ranked teams left on their schedule.  Sure, that could change as the season progresses, but for now, to get back in it, the Trojans are going to have to blow teams off the field.

For those who think it’s a given for the SEC and Big 12 to send a team to the national title a few months down the road – not so fast.  While there may be four teams from each conference in the top 10, many of these teams are going to beat each other down as the season moves along.  There’s certainly a shot for one from each conference to come out unscathed, but the chances of that are likely slim – as in “Lindsay Lohan passing a driver’s test” slim.  Then again, as we have already learned, this game is unpredictable and only time will tell.  

That leaves the other power conference teams that critics are rarely talking about – take the Badgers and Nittany Lions for example, where either team could easily run the table and slide into USC’s old slot.  There’s a team like Ohio State, who could certainly make a run and get back in the hunt, as they seem to be on the right track with Terrelle Pryor running the offense.  

And now every college football fan sits silent with that same quizzical look that USC had earlier tonight – collectively wondering what exactly will happen next.

As last year showed us, college football has hit a new level of unpredictability, excitement, jubilation, and heartbreak – all mixed together into one happy blitz package.

Fasten your seatbelts, this season’s just getting started – and something tells me we’re about to get blitzed again.

The doorway is open – who do you see walking through it?  The door is closing – who’s next to have their hopes slammed shut?  Sound off!

Another week of College Football has gone by, featuring a pretty significant amount of “chumptastic” performances. With that being said, there are certainly enough candidates for this week’s “All-Chump Team”… and here they are:


College Football’s Week Two “All-Chump” Team

QUARTERBACK

Starter:
Chris Turner – Maryland
13 for 28, 207 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT in a loss to Middle Tennessee State

He should still be hiding in his shell after that performance.

Backup:
Chris Crane – Boston College
18 for 35, 142 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT, sacked in end zone for safety

While fans were still drinkin’ “Matty Ice”, Crane’s performance in BC’s home opener was far from intoxicating.

RUNNING BACK

Starter:
Army’s Running Game
55 carries for 169 yards in a 28-10 loss to New Hampshire

55 carries for that many yards? They were more like the French army – not going anywhere and basically surrendering…

Wait a second… New Hampshire has a football team?! Just kidding…

WIDE RECEIVER

Starter:
Brian Robiskie – Ohio State
3 catches for 8 yards against Ohio University

It may seem like I’m picking on him, but with stats that boring, I’d rather see Britney Spears perform at the VMA’s again.

TRENCHES: O-LINE & D-LINE

Starter:
Ohio State O-Line
Allowed three sacks to Ohio University (plus as an offense, they were nearly outgained)

One of the best teams in college football allowing three sacks to Ohio University – and next week they will be wearing Trojans. Get your mind out of the gutter, that’s not what I meant.

Starter:
Notre Dame D-Line (and defense as a whole)
Allowing San Diego State to pile up nearly 350 total yards on offense

The Irish managed a comeback victory, but for a while there, even Touchdown Jesus looked away.

RUSH DEFENSE

Starter:
Oregon State
Gave up 238 yards on the ground to Penn State in a 45-14 loss

Four scores and seven losses ago, the Beavers and Mike Riley still can’t win on the road in September.

PASS DEFENSE

Starter:
Arkansas Razorbacks
Allowed 270 yards passing and 2 TD’s to Louisiana-Monroe QB Kinsmon Lancaster

Arkansas had to narrowly escape by scoring the winning TD with just over a minute to go. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing. Perhaps trailing 24-6 in the third… or maybe having to go through a similar situation week one with Western Illinois. Apparently, I do know what’s more embarrassing.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Starter:
Ryan Succop – South Carolina
1-3 FG’s during upset loss to Vanderbilt

He begged me to keep him off the list, while showering me with compliments. I simply referred to him as “suck up”.

By the way, did anyone else notice that the Gamecocks had Smelley and Rank playing in the same backfield? I heard they were trying to recruit a kid with the last name of “Funk” to play wide receiver in ’09.

Until next week, try to avoid being a chump.

Take a deep breath… the wait is finally over. Football is here!

Every season, each team earns a clean slate, and 2008 will be no different. However, whether a team likes it or not, everyone earns a reputation and a theme even before the season begins. With that being said, I’ve pieced together a series of conference previews, with a unique twist.

Call this one a SEC preview set to music – featuring all twelve teams presented in the order of standing at the end of the 2007 season – and the theme song they should be playing in the locker room this week.


SEC EAST PREVIEW

Tennessee Volunteers
“Rock Steady” – No Doubt

“Steady now, stop rocking it… it’s a delicate environment.”
Erik Ainge may be gone to the NFL, but the Volunteers will be just fine on offense, as there are a handful of veterans present, including Arian Foster, Lucas Taylor, and Josh Briscoe. Therefore, the Tennessee offense should be “rock steady” for QB Jonathan Crompton – or “rocky top steady” if you will. It’s the Tennessee defense that will have to step it up, especially after losing talented players such as Jerrod Mayo and Jonathan Hefney. Another New Year’s Day bowl is certainly not out of the question for the Volunteers.

Top Returner: RB Arian Foster (1,193 yds rushing and 12 TD’s in ‘07)

Georgia Bulldogs
“Great Expectations” – Styx

“Everybody will be watching just to see what can you do. They’ll be waiting, anticipating for the genius to come through.”
Before you say it, yes “Who Let The Dogs Out” was the logical choice, but I thought I would go in another direction. I’ll be honest, if I were to rank a team by talent, I would put Georgia at the top of the list – and I’m certainly not alone there. The question remains, can Georgia live up to these “great expectations”? The schedule isn’t exactly easy, with a road trip to Arizona State being added in the mix with an already brutal SEC schedule that features LSU and Florida in back-to-back weeks. Still, as we all know, one loss can still get you into the title game – heck, even two.

Top Returner: RB Knowshon Moreno (1,334 yds and 14 TD’s in ‘07)

Florida Gators
“Torn” – Toad The Wet Sprocket

“I feel nothing besides this pain… please don’t watch me.”
Yes, the Gators are loaded with talent – again. Yet, that isn’t the story in Gainesville entering the 2008 season. Instead, it’s the injuries – specifically the five torn ACL’s that Florida players have sustained. Among the injured include starting TE Cornelius Ingram and starting safety Dorian Munroe, who are both out for the year. Overall, the Gators only lost 11 lettermen, while also having another solid recruiting class (#12 in 2008 according to Scout.com). While health has been an issue, depth likely won’t be. So does anyone know when Gatorade Ligament is going to be released? Something tells me it will taste the same as all the others.

Top Returner: QB Tim Tebow (3,286 yds passing, 895 yds rushing, 55 total TD’s in ‘07)

Kentucky Wildcats
“Down In A Hole” – Alice in Chains

“I’d like to fly but my wings have been so denied.”
On paper, it looks like this season will be a drop-off for the Wildcats, especially on offense, where only four starters return. Gone are most of the offensive weapons, from almost the entire receiving corps, to Rafael Little, to star QB Andre Woodson. The defense returns eight starters, but in the tough SEC Conference, it may be too much of a hole for Kentucky in 2008.

Top Returner: DE Jeremy Jarmon (62 tackles and 9 sacks in ‘07)

South Carolina Gamecocks
“Double Vision” – Foreigner

“I get my double vision, oh, seeing double double…”
This season in South Carolina, there isn’t just one Spurrier calling plays, but two, as Steve Spurrier Jr. is also in the mix. The report during the opener against N.C. State was that Spurrier Jr. is calling the plays, but the “Ol’ Ball Coach” himself has the right to override any call at any time. Don’t worry my friends, you aren’t seeing double on the sidelines. Still, the question remains… how will this change affect South Carolina throughout the season? The QB position features a trio of options, and this team could easily go in either direction as the season progresses.

Top Returner: WR Kenny McKinley (77 rec, 968 yds, and 9 TD’s in ‘07)

Vanderbilt Commodores
“Gone” – Pearl Jam

“Gonna leave ‘em all behind me cause this time I’m gone… long gone.”
Coming off a 5-7 season, the Commodores return only nine starters, including only three on offense. The rest of the starters are long gone. It’s been over 25 years now since Vandy has been to a bowl game, and it looks like the Commodores will be waiting for at least one more year.

Top Returner: CB DJ Moore (83 tackles and 6 INT’s in ‘07)


SEC WEST PREVIEW

LSU Tigers
“We Are The Champions” – Queen

“We are the champions – my friends. And we’ll keep on fighting – ‘til the end.”
Entering this season, Les Miles and the Tigers earn the right to say they are the champions. As 2008 approaches, there is enough talent still present to give it another go. Still, 24 lettermen have moved on and only 12 starters return on this year’s LSU squad. A midseason three week stretch at Florida, at South Carolina, and home vs. Georgia won’t be easy either. With that being said, LSU’s talent is going to cause all kinds of headaches for the rest of the SEC.

Top Returner: DE Kirston Pittman (68 tackles and 8 sacks in ‘07)

Auburn Tigers
“What You Are” – Dave Matthews Band

“What you’ve become, just as I have… are you and I so alike?”
Over the last few seasons, it seems like Auburn struggles against the weaker teams, while excelling against the top teams. Coming off a 9-4 season, the Tigers return 16 starters, and have enough talent to take the SEC – if they can keep their focus across the entire season. In addition, Auburn’s toughest road foes are West Virginia and Alabama, as they host Georgia, Tennessee, and LSU.

Top Returner: DE Antonio Coleman (38 tackles, 8.5 sacks, and 9.5 tackles for a loss in ‘07)

Arkansas Razorbacks
“Crash Burn” – Blues Traveler

“I’m gonna watch you… gonna watch you fall like a tower of cards.”
Bobby Petrino left the Atlanta Falcons and has come to Fayetteville to run the Arkansas program. While Petrino has had success in the college ranks (at Louisville), there are going to be some growing pains in the early going – and for a number of reasons. First off, Petrino and Co. bring an entirely different offense to Arkansas, 25 lettermen have been lost, and only 11 starters return. Most importantly, nearly 3,000 yards of rushing offense is gone to the NFL, as Darren McFadden and Felix Jones have departed. In a tough SEC conference, it likely will be a difficult year for Petrino and the Razorbacks.

Top Returner: C Jonathan Luigs

Mississippi State Bulldogs
“Hey Bulldog” – The Beatles

“Some kind of innocence is measured out in years.”
Mississippi State was a team that crept under the radar in 2007. When they lost to the SEC powers, they were blown out – yet they still managed eight wins, including victories over Auburn and Alabama. Head Coach Sylvester Croom also nearly doubled his win total from the previous three seasons combined. With 14 starters returning in 2008, the question remains as “Hey Bulldog”, who are you going to be this year? Likely not an SEC title contender, but a second straight bowl appearance is certainly not out of the question.

Top Returner: FS Derek Pegues (50 tackles and 5 INT’s in ‘07)

Alabama Crimson Tide
“Dream On” – Aerosmith

“Every time I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer – the past is gone.”
Nick Saban certainly has Alabama moving in the right direction, especially after taking the #1 recruiting class according to Scout.com for 2008. Still, as we know, that class will have a more significant impact down the road. For this season, the Crimson Tide will be a solid team, but title hopes are just a dream for now, especially with the road schedule that Alabama has on its plate – including Clemson (on opening weekend), Tennessee, LSU, and Georgia.

Top Returner: FS Rashad Johnson (94 tackles and 6 INT’s in ‘07)

Mississippi Rebels
“Houston” – R.E.M.

“So a man’s put to task and challenges…”
Houston Nutt takes over the Ole Miss program that once featured Ed Orgeron, who was responsible for recruiting a large amount of Pete Carroll’s former talent at USC. At Ole Miss, Orgeron was able to bring in some talent, yet unable to lead the Rebels to a bowl appearance. Nutt, who’s had plenty of success at Arkansas, could be just what this team needs to get back on track. A bowl appearance will be tough in 2008, especially with road opponents that include Wake Forest, Florida, Alabama, and LSU.

Top Returner: DE Greg Hardy (64 tackles and 10 sacks in ‘07)

First-team All-Americans, Heisman award watch candidates… all rubbish. Borrrrring. Let’s instead focus on the elite college football players that are doing their best to flush their futures right down the toilet. That’s right football fans, more and more, we keep seeing talented players getting into the news for all the wrong reasons… so much in fact that one could easily form up a starting roster that could compete with the team that played on “The Longest Yard”. Honestly, it’s sad how often this is happening in college sports today. It really is.

Recently, reports of misconduct in college football keep pouring in, practically on a daily basis. Heck, the SEC alone can give us a starting lineup chock-full of college football delinquents.

With that being said, I give you the “SEC All-Penal Team”…

2008 SEC All-Penal Team

Quarterback

Starter: Ryan Perrilloux – LSU

Offense: Used brother’s ID to get into casino, plus a federal investigation in which he’s a person of interest in a counterfeit ring, nevermind his latest undisclosed transgression.

Backup: Stephen Garcia – South Carolina

Offense: Keying a professor’s car, as well as failing to obey orders of an officer of the law.

3rd Stringer: Jared Foster – Ole Miss

Offense: Transfer quarterback whose previous rap sheet include alcohol possession by a minor, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, while in high school. Those charges were dropped if he agreed to assist with a steroid investigation, as well as stay clean. He was later charged with selling steroids, and has since been kicked off the team.

Did Roger Clemens deny knowing him too?

Running Back

Starter: Brandon James – Florida

Offense: Possession of a controlled substance (less than 20 grams of cannibis)

Backup: Arian Foster – Tennessee

Offense: Disorderly conduct and underage alcohol consumption

Fullback

Starter: Fred Munzenmaier – Georgia

Offense: Underage possession of alcohol and walking in a roadway

Backup: David Holbert – Tennessee

Offense: Underage consumption of alcohol and disorderly conduct

Wide Receiver

Starter: Dion Lecorn – South Carolina

Offense: Marijuana possession

Starter: Ahmad Paige – Tennessee

Offense: Misdemeanor for marijuana possession (a freshman offensive lineman – William Brimfield – and a high school student in town for a recruiting trip, were both present in the car during the act)

I heard the recruit also gave his verbal to the officer that night. Apparently, they also have to get their recruits stoned, in order to sign them?!

Backup: Gerald Jones – Tennessee

Offense: Misdemeanor for marijuana possession

Offensive Lineman

Starter: Ronnie Wilson – Florida

Offense: Firing a semi-automatic rifle in the air during a dispute that began at a nightclub. Eventually charged with aggravated assault, battery, and display of a concealed weapon

Starter: Anthony Parker – Tennessee

Offense: The All-SEC first teamer was recently arrested for disorderly conduct.

Starter: Zhamal Thomas – LSU

Offense: He was kicked off the team due to a burglary charge.

Defensive Lineman

Starter: Marcus Harrison – Arkansas

Offense: Felony possession of ecstasy.

Starter: Jeremy Elder – Alabama

Offense: Arrested on two counts of first-degree robbery.

I heard he was also a steal in the recruiting process…

Defensive End

Starter: Jermaine Cunningham – Florida

Offense: Disorderly conduct, after a dispute over a bag of potato chips at a restaurant at 2am.

You can never eat just one, can you?!

Starter: Brandon Deaderick – Alabama

Offense: Disorderly conduct, and an altercation outside of a bar.

Linebacker

Starter: Brandon Fanney – Alabama

Offense: Arrested for disorderly conduct in front of a bar.

I wonder if he was playing with his “fanney”…

Starter: Derrick Odom – LSU

Offense: Breaking and entering into a residence

Backup: Dustin Lindsey – South Carolina

Offense: DUI

Defensive Back

Starter: Donovan Baldwin – Georgia

Offense: DUI at 3:05am

Starter: Troy Giddens – LSU

Offense: Second-degree battery and one count of battery (on his teammate, by the way), while his previous rap sheet also includes identity theft and simple burglary.

Safety

Starter: Antonio Wardlow – Tennessee

Offense: Disorderly conduct, underage consumption, and public intoxication

I think we should call Phillip Fulmer “The Warden” from now on…

Backup: Jamarca Sanford – Ole Miss

Offense: Disorderly conduct at 1:40am

Kicker / Punter

Starter: Britton Colquitt – Tennessee

Offense: Numerous alcohol related arrests, including the latest in which he drove into a parked car (while intoxicated).

I sense some irony here, considering all the alcohol drunk by a “booter”… if you catch my drift.

Backup: Kyle Keown – Vanderbilt

Offense: Domestic violence and aggravated assault on his ex-girlfriend

There you have it, the 2008 SEC All-Penal team. Something tells me that high school-kid-turned-Tennessee-recruit may be headlining the 2009 squad. All in all, this list is quite alarming.

Something stinks about the ongoing Les Miles saga. Something stinks real bad. Rotten, like the ongoing behavior of many of the coaches in college football’s SEC conference. What’s that, you don’t know who I’m talking about?

Nick Saban… staying with the Miami Dolphins. Try ‘Bama. Houston Nutt, here’s a contract extension… no thanks, Ole Miss works for me. Bobby Petrino, welcome to the SEC. You’ll fit right in, judging by the fast one you pulled on Arthur Blank and the Atlanta Falcons.

Les Miles… no we didn’t forget about you. You’re the cream of the SEC crop. After all, you already bailed on Oklahoma State to take over the LSU job once Saban departed. Now, this.

Les Miles, you’re a moth. While your program, its players, and its fans sit in anticipation of the BCS National Championship, you continue to chew the life right out of Bayou country. You continue to be attracted to the flame that is the Michigan Wolverines, the famed college football program that you once played at… you once had an assistant job there. Oh, how you wish you could be covered in maize and blue again.

Yet, you think you have the world fooled. Not all of us, however. Not me.

What’s that you say, Les? You were just talking to Michigan the other day? You wanted to help another powerhouse program pick out a great new coach? What did the AD at LSU think about that?

Les, here you are, trying to get your team ready for the BCS game, telling everyone you are busy recruiting for LSU. Can you please explain why you feel it is your duty to help Michigan find a head coach? Is this your priority? Isn’t that what the AD is hired at Michigan to do? The only way it would be a priority is if you were the head coach and were helping them find you an assistant coach. Now that makes sense.

Les Miles has once again proven that his priorities are not with getting his team ready for the BCS National Championship game. One could say that he has tried to avoid distractions on his team, but his actions contradict the very source of his ire with the media....again.

But back to Les' statements to the press. He is not a candidate for the Michigan job. Yeah, we’ve heard that one before. Maybe because the position has been filled? Let's really take a clear look at the contract Miles recently signed with LSU.

You didn’t receive a raise, except for that small boost you got for winning the SEC Championship. Your .846 winning percentage in three years at LSU (Saban was at .750) simply wasn’t good enough to earn a substantial raise? Hmm, OK… you did get a nice bonus of around three quarters of a mil, but that only kicks in if you win this year’s BCS game. That would put you along a similar plane as the other top coaches in the NCAA, but again, only if you win the National Championship? Really, Les?

Maybe LSU should put in an additional clause that kicks into gear if you can win an overtime game. What do you say Les?

Would you personally sign a new contract that features a 50/50 shot of having the same salary as your previous one? Perhaps… if you did a poor job. How about if you led a college football program to back-to-back-to-back 11-2 records, including a berth in the National Championship game? Do you really think your ego would allow for the same pay, or would you instead be putting up a smokescreen to help avoid any additional distractions for your current program? It all adds up to a perfect reason for Miles to bolt for Michigan, especially if LSU doesn’t win.

Let’s be clear here...if Les is bailing to Michigan after the BCS game, then everything makes sense. If Miles really is staying at LSU, then his actions, when measured on the “College Football Graph of Stupidity”, are simply off the charts. If I were Les Miles, and really staying at LSU, I think I would have stopped talking to Michigan considering the first sampling of rumors that took over the sports world. Fueling more rumors, making more distractions for the team is really about as ridiculous as it gets. Would someone at LSU please keep him from taking the “stupid pills”, at least until mid-January!

Does anyone else think something’s fishy down there in Bayou country? C’mon now, with the “Head Coaching Carousel” that we have witnessed in sports over the past few years, you can’t possibly tell me that you have fallen into this little trap set by Les Miles?

Something’s definitely fishy, and that ain’t crawfish you’re smellin’…