That’s right friends, it’s time to hurl some more tomatoes. Don’t worry, this batch is safe. While I go and unwrap a package of these magical red fruits, let me start by preparing to send some in the direction of a particular sports icon, who also has a part-time gig as a rapper. C’mon, you know who I’m talking about…

Let’s get this thing started… where do you direct your tomatoes this week?


Throwing Tomatoes – Volume VII

Top of the Vine This Week:
Shaquille O’Neal
…for giving the media something to chew up and spit out for a month.
Per O’Neal during a freestyle rap in a night club the other night, “You know how I be, last week Kobe couldn’t do without me”.

What would have been more fitting to say? This…”You know how I be, recent months the Suns couldn’t win with me. You know my game’s overripe, I choose to rap instead of work from the charity stripe”. Hey, give me a break, I was just freestylin’.

All in all, I shouldn’t complain. This performance was a ton better than any of his movies.


Los Angeles Lakers
…for draining the life out of what was an NBA Finals filled with “mega-hype”.
It was the Lakers and Celtics in the NBA Finals for the first time in over two decades. It was supposed to be a great series. It was supposed to live up to the hype. It flat out didn’t. Kudos to the C’s though, as they were clearly the better team this time around.

Coco Crisp
…for not just charging the mound against James Shields and the Rays days ago, but recently thinking his suspension should be reduced to less than seven games.
Rays manager Joe Maddon probably deserves a tomato here too. Still, Crisp should have known Tampa was going to throw at him. He should have kept his cool and not charged the mound. Honestly, I also have to give him a gold star for his dodging of the original punch by James Shields. That was a “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out” type of dodging maneuver right there. I bet the ensuing dogpile didn’t feel too great though.

Pacman Jones
…for thinking that changing his name will officially change his image.
Sorry Pacman (or Adam is it?), I guess I should think about giving you a “gold star” for trying. Still, I just can’t do it. Leave your name alone, just change yourself. Maybe I’m the kind of guy that needs to see results first.

Johan Santana
…for giving up a grand slam to an AL pitcher.
That’s right, Felix Hernandez hit a granny off of Santana, the first time an AL pitcher had done so in nearly four decades. What’s the phrase I’m looking for? I believe it’s “even a blind squirrel finds a nut some day”. Sorry King Felix… but hey, take care of that ankle.

Baseball Players Using Viagra
…as a performance enhancer.
I saw this report a few weeks ago via Fox Sports. Still, this story has more than four hours of lasting time (sorry, couldn’t resist that one). Therefore, I had to mention it here. Hmm, I guess the players are going to need larger cups…

The Big Brown Saga
…for not disappearing.
First off, this was the most disappointing Triple Crown race in years if you ask me. Now, a report on ESPN is stating that a freelance photographer submitted closeups of a loose shoe on Big Brown’s right hind hoof. However, don’t go and try and question the photographer’s “cred”, as Rick Dutrow apparently confirmed this. Still, the Big Brown story is done. Let’s move on to the next horse that will only win the first two legs of the Triple Crown.

Tiger Woods
…for making the wrong decision regarding the U.S. Open.
I know Tiger is competitive. I know how much he loves to play… and more so, how much he loves to win. I know he wants Jack’s record. I know he wanted that U.S. Open. Still, he’s no superhero, even if he managed to win at Torrey Pines, while basically playing on one leg. Think of it this way, if he sacrifices the U.S. Open to heal more, he then has the British, PGA, and Ryder Cup. That’s more opportunities for big victories. Bad move Tiger.

Don Imus
…for being Don Imus.
Yes, a race related comment happened again, this time involving Pacman Jones (wait, wait, I remember… Adam Jones). Seriously, this guy should just write up an excuse and apology before every show. Face it “Donny Boy”, you’re under a microscope and will be for life. Get used to it.

Honorary Tomato Throwers of the Week
Because those who found success earn a chance to sling one at their opposition

Rocco Mediate – at Johnny Miller for making those ridiculous comments during the U.S. Open
Chicago Cubs – at their south side neighbors, who they recently swept out of Chi-town
Baltimore Orioles – at their critics who said they would be lucky to win 50 games.
Kobe Bryant – at those who said he would never get back to the Finals again without Shaq


This has been “Throwing Tomatoes”… but don’t worry, these weren’t laced with salmonella.

Now that Tiger Woods has actually lost a tournament, can we move on to the next topic? Perhaps this was a simple ploy to bump up some possible sagging ratings in the world of golf. Maybe… maybe not. Either way, Tiger’s perfect season is gone faster than John Daly can say “Where’s the beer tent?”

But how perfect was it?

While Tiger’s early season run was impressive, was the hype really warranted? Anyone can have success when they take significant time off to pick and choose the tournaments they want to play in. You don’t think that Tiger wants to take shots at the courses that fit him better than others?


Go ahead and argue that every course fits Tiger, because he’s simply a machine. He’s a robot with ice in his veins. Nothing phases him. Fine, I get it. Still, even the superhuman Tiger Woods has courses he prefers over others. It’s true. For that reason alone, I would have never counted it as a “perfect season”.

There are pro golfers out there that compete in every tournament. A perfect season is winning every golf match during that year. Not picking and choosing which ones you want to play in, all the while allowing extra time for additional preparation and rest (for the majors, of course). You don’t see the New York Yankees choosing to only play the Baltimore Orioles, Tampa Bay Rays, and Kansas City Royals during the baseball season, while dropping the Red Sox, Tigers, and Angels... and allowing prep time and rest for the playoffs.


Still, the media continued to plug that perfect season. But hey, that’s today’s media. The same media that coined the term “Tiger Slam”, when Woods won four straight majors, even though one happened to be during a different season, therefore not officially making it a Grand Slam. The same media that will highlight Tiger coverage even when the golfing superstar is in 86th place.

Certainly, Tiger Woods is the headliner at the PGA’s weekend concert… when he shows. He’s one of the best ever… if not the best. He’s the one that most fans come to see. He’s earned it. Heck, there is probably a large sampling of fans that drive their Tiger sponsored car to a tournament he's playing in, sporting Tiger Woods apparel and also chugging down an electrolyte-filled Gatorade Tiger.

With all that being said, the "Tiger Spotlight" has become more ridiculous than ever. And now that we’ve dropped the perfect season talk for this year, let’s move on. Let’s instead look forward to The Masters. Go ahead and list Tiger Woods as the obvious favorite, but discuss others that could make some noise too.

But who am I kidding, that wouldn’t be the perfect story.

Nothing is perfect… I should know that by now.

Whether you’re the nicest person on the planet, or the exact opposite, there is no doubt in my mind that either way, you have a list of pet peeves that drive you absolutely insane. Not just in life, but in sports too. Certainly, there are those little things in sports that drive us nuts. There’s simply no sense in hiding them anymore, no matter how nice you are. Fine, if you’re not going to, then I am.

Here is a sampling of my own personal pet peeves… in life and in sports.

KP’s Pet Peeves in Life and Sports

• People who eat loud.

• The BCS.

• Coaches that don’t ever go deep on 2nd and short.

• Coaches that blatantly run up the score on opponents.

• Highly paid baseball players that do not run out ground balls.

• In a similar regard, players that stare down home runs at the plate. Run it out! >>
  

• The NBA traveling rule (or lack thereof). If I were an NBA player, I could walk to the North Pole and back and not get called for traveling.

• Tailgaters (I don’t mean the ones that eat and drink at sporting events – that act is encouraged).

• Cars who drive with their turn signal left on.

• Cars who blow through red lights at crosswalks… especially when I’m in them.

• Overblown sports stories… can you say beating a dead horse? Vick, Pacman, and Clemens are all examples that come to mind.

• Commercials that torture my brain with catchy jingles, thinking I’ll go buy their product because of it (e.g. that Jeep commercial… “rock me gently, rock me slowly…”).

• A sporting event with one sponsor, yet that sponsor tortures us with the same commercial over and over again.

• Actors that think they can act (e.g. Brendan Fraser).

• People who don’t cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze.

• People that don’t refill the ice cube tray, yet still place it back in the freezer.

• Bandwagon Fans

• “Ballhogs”

• Bad NFL Rules (e.g. The Tuck Rule a few years back).

• Homer fans that don’t admit they got a break on a bad rule (see “Tuck Rule”).

• Baseball’s lack of a salary cap

• People who pee on the seat

• Crybaby athletes

• Fans who cheer injuries

• Candlepin bowling – what the heck is the point? You couldn’t get a strike if your life depended on it. If you’ve never heard of it, you aren’t missing a thing, except for maybe, the pins.

• People who don’t wash their hands in the restroom at work… or anywhere for that matter.

• Exorbitant player salaries (maybe I’m just jealous) >>
  

• People who walk slow, and as a group take up the entire crosswalk while doing so

• Did I mention the BCS?!

• People who don’t clean up after themselves

• Expensive stadium food.

• Cheaters

• Cheaters that gloat after beating you.

• People who give the “#1” sign when on TV, when they’re team is 100th or so in the country. Why are you always number 1? That’s the best you got?

• People who cut in line.

• People at the gym who hog machines, especially when they are socializing with others and not actually working out.

• The NFL overtime rules – maybe we should think about testing the college OT system?

• Hideous throwback jerseys (not all of them are, but some… my goodness). >>
  

• People that answer their cell phones in movie theaters.

• People who feel they need to scream into their cell phones in order to be heard. It doesn’t work that way people!

• People who sue for silly reasons such as burning yourself with coffee.

• People who stand right behind you when you’re trying to get money out of an ATM. It’s called space people!

• Slow golfers
  

• Golfers that don’t repair their divots.

• Golfers that don’t rake the sand traps (especially when my ball is in a foot print).

• Players that come in and out of retirement. Make a decision and stick to it.

• Players on the field that celebrate a great play, yet their team is getting blown out at the time.

• Players that retract their verbal, decommit, and choose a new school.

• Players that showboat.

And finally…

• Tardiness – sorry for adding this one in so late.

Now that I’ve gotten some of those off of my chest, do you have any to add?