conspiracy theory n.

A theory seeking to explain a disputed case or matter as a plot by a secret group or alliance rather than an individual or isolated act.

conspiracy theorist n.

Secret group or alliance?  Doubtful… or is it?  There couldn’t possibly be some kind of secret alliance within the NFL, could there?  We know the “zebras” were not behind it, but if at all, just a cog in a more deep routed plan. 

If the “zebras” were behind this plan, what kind of conspiracy theories could one accuse them of?  I tried to brainstorm reasons, and only could come up with a series of discredited conspiracy theories.  Among those include the following…

-- The Officiating crew got scared when seeing all of the Seattle Seahawks logo  “foamhead” hats worn around the stadium, and reacted against their team in thinking it would keep them from contracting the “bird flu”. 

-- Prior to the game, the officials had likely heard all the rumors about Pittsburgh’s Joey Porter.  They were aware that he threatened to “tap out” as many Seahawks players as possible.  Perhaps the officiating crew feared that Porter would further threaten to “tap them out”, as he did with his NFC opponents.

-- Being at Ford Field, perhaps the officials thought if they did not let the city’s hometown boy Jerome Bettis win the game, the Ford family may find a way to lay them off. 

And back to the definition from earlier…

conspiracy theory n.

A theory seeking to explain a disputed case or matter as a plot by a secret group or alliance rather than an individual or isolated act.

conspiracy theorist n.

Conspiracy theorist, that is me in this case. 

The Conspiracy Theorist in me, Part I

Perhaps the NFL was simply trying to extract the best possible Super Bowl story for its own good.  The NFL would make the most of having “the longest tenured coach” in Bill Cowher to battle through and get his first victory for a popular NFL franchise in the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Even more of a story, maybe it was too irresistible for the NFL to paint the perfect storyline for the media, that being future Hall of Famer Jerome Bettis going back home to Detroit for his last game, and have it result in a Super Bowl victory. 

Now, before the Pittsburgh fans get their shorts all up in a bunch, I am not discrediting the heart and grit the Steelers had at clawing their way to a fifth Super Bowl title.  It was very impressive to go through and beat seeds 1 through 3 in the AFC, and then take out the number one seed in the NFC for the title. 

As for the Seahawks, isn’t it enough that Seattle fans had to sit through such a frustrating game, but now it is probably raining on them?  Perhaps it was foreshadowing Seahawks fans.  You received almost forty straight days of rain (I know for a fact it got into the upper 20’s).  Forty days of rain, but to get to Super Bowl XL.  Only to be in a dome, but the officials still “rain on your parade”. 

The Conspiracy Theorist in me, Part II

Could you imagine the response that Joey Porter would have had if the Steelers were on the opposite side of the questionable officiating?  Heck, Porter made comments about the Colts getting favored by officials even after a Pittsburgh victory!  What would have happened if Seattle received all the calls in the game, and it resulted in a Pittsburgh Super Bowl loss?  Porter may have completely lost his mind.  The amount of possible scenarios and thoughts in my head for his actions are endless. 

Again, I am not discrediting the Steelers, but there were just way too many questionable calls in this game.  Let me list a few that come to mind, and hopefully I have remembered the details correctly as it has been a few days since the game took place…

Darrell Jackson Pass Interference Call:

Calling Jackson on offensive pass interference in the first quarter is a joke in my mind.  I realize that after five yards, there should be no contact, but here there was contact by both players.  That plus this is the NFL, which is supposed to be a full contact sport.  Let them play, especially in the Super Bowl!  Did anyone else notice how the official tossed the flag out late only after the Steelers defensive player went over and complained?  Unbelievable, and critical to the game, as the Seahawks could have jumped out to an early 7-0 lead but instead had to settle on a long field goal.  While it happened in the first quarter, this was “only the tip of the iceberg”. 

Jackson kicks the pylon before halftime

Approaching halftime, Darrell Jackson had a great catch down near the goal line.  This play was called as out of bounds, which I do believe was the right call.  So why am I arguing this play?  My reasoning is because it was a close call, and Jackson did kick the pylon with his foot.  Does anyone recall during the regular season when Michael Vick was called in because his body crossed the goal line and not the ball?  That is a rule in the NFL now.  It does appear that Jackson may have been out of bounds before kicking the pylon.  However, inside two minutes, the officials can and should review close plays.  They reviewed a few tight plays for Pittsburgh, but not this one for Seattle.  My question is why?  This play should have been looked at to make sure that Seattle did not get into the endzone and add seven points before the half. 

The Roethlisberger TD Run

This play was reviewed, and the call was not overturned, and Big Ben received the touchdown.  However, did he really get in?  It was very close that is for sure, but it looked like he did not score.  Even Roethlisberger himself admitted to David Letterman on national television that he did not score on that play, yet the officials let the play stand even after a review.  This play is not as big of a deal as Pittsburgh would have likely put some points on the board anyway.

The Phantom Holding Call

In the third quarter, Hasselbeck completed a beautiful pass to Jerramy Stevens down inside the five yard line, which would have set up a first and goal for the Seahawks.  However, this play was called back due to a holding call… a holding call that on the replay did not exist.  I don’t call myself a master of play calling in football, but even the announcers and other professionals admitted that there was no holding on that play.  Instead of having first and goal, the Seahawks were now pushed back to a third and long play, which Hasselbeck ended up tossing an interception instead of having the opportunity to hand the ball off to RB Shaun Alexander.  This was one of a few holding calls that were questionable during the game, and all of them appeared to occur after big plays by Seattle. 

Hasselbeck and Roethlisberger Tackling and Blocking Techniques

The rules of the NFL have been stated that a player can make a tackle below the waist on the player who has the ball, but they can’t make a block below the waist on an individual who does not have the ball.  A block below the waist will result in a penalty.  After the phantom holding call mentioned above, Hasselbeck tossed a long pass on the next play, resulting in an interception.  After the interception was made, Hasselbeck hustled down to make the tackle, and he did so by going below the waist in order to bring the player down.  This was called as a penalty, yet the rules are stated by multiple sources that Hasselbeck should have been allowed to do this.  Even more curious is later in the game during the trick play called by the Steelers.  Did anyone notice Roethlisberger during this play?  Bear in mind, this was a great call by the Steelers, and it was perfectly executed.  However, once Randle El had the ball in his hands, Big Ben moved in to block for him, in which he did so below the waist just like Hasselbeck (except Matt’s tackle was on a player who had the ball).  I am not the master of the NFL rulebook, but should this have been allowed and did anyone else notice this?  Either way, it is possible that this could have resulted in a penalty, but no flag was thrown and Pittsburgh was awarded with a touchdown. 

Hasselbeck Scramble and Fumble

Late in the game, Hasselbeck made about a twenty yard scramble for a first down as Seattle was driving.  If you recall this play, you will also remember that the play was overturned to the correct call.  At first, Hasselbeck was ruled as fumbling and losing the ball, but since there was next to no other players around that would result as obstructions, it should have been blatantly obvious that the Pittsburgh player had made contact with Hasselbeck’s jersey before the fumble.  However, he was called as untouched.  My issue with this play is that the Seahawks had to waste a challenge in order to get the proper call made here, when it seemed obvious in full speed that this was clearly not a fumble by the Seattle quarterback.  The officials did eventually get this one right, but it still took away a challenge as well as some of Seattle’s momentum. 

Now that I have discussed some of the play calls that irked me during the game, I shall break off into a tangent and briefly touch upon the players and coaches themselves, and attempt to back them up as not part of the “secret alliance” that rigged Super Bowl XL.

One last time let us revisit the definition for “conspiracy theory”…

conspiracy theory n.

A theory seeking to explain a disputed case or matter as a plot by a secret group or alliance rather than an individual or isolated act.

conspiracy theorist n.

Who could this secret group or alliance be? 

Let’s first focus on the two teams participating in Super Bowl XL.  

The Steelers 

Here you have the Pittsburgh Steelers, a proud historical franchise who took home their fifth Super Bowl title. Featured on the team is the longest tenured coach in the NFL in Bill Cowher, along with a popular and well known owner in Mr. Dan Rooney.  I have to give Bill Cowher some credit.  For years, I saw that man on the sideline and thought that he looked evil with that glaring stare, and someone that would step on whoever he wants to get what he wants.  In all honesty, after these playoffs, I now see Bill Cowher as a classy guy and a warmhearted family man.  That grimace and stone cold stare was simply resulting from pure focus and determination.  Cowher did a great job keeping the Steelers on track throughout the playoffs.  He got the job done and deserves credit for doing so.  Perhaps you could look to Hines Ward, who has made it known how he feels about Jerome Bettis, and his overall desire to get Bettis a title before he retired from the game.  But could Ward seriously have enough power to make something like this happen?  Again, it is more for the fun of discussion, but all of the Pittsburgh players very likely had nothing to do with such a crazy plot.  As for Ward, he simply played hard and had extra incentive in also playing for Bettis.  Speaking of Bettis, you have a future Hall of Famer who came back to his hometown of Detroit, won his final game before retirement, and finished his career as a winner and a champion.  You can be happy for Bettis sure, but he is the possible reason for this outcome.  I do not intentionally mean to sound bitter and I am not trying to discount the way that the Steelers played during the stretch run.  Pittsburgh played well throughout the playoffs, and they did play well in the second half of the Super Bowl, making the plays they had to make to win the game.  With exception to Joey Porter, the Steelers are a group of mostly classy and exciting football players.  Even Kimo von Oelhoffen, the defensive end who may have ended Carson Palmer’s career, is a good hearted individual as you could tell how torn apart he was to even have injured the Cincinnati quarterback.  Porter, on the other hand, complains about the officiating, and discusses plans to “tap out” his opponents.  Even Porter though would not put out this personal vendetta to the officials, but instead he is the type of player that would leave it all out on the field and bust his backside to try and humiliate his opponents as much as humanly possible.  Count these individuals out of this plan, as per the definition of “conspiracy theory”, it is not by individual, but if an actual conspiracy, there would be a group involved.  Therefore, it would have to have been the team as a whole, and I sure hope that this did not happen, even for Jerome Bettis.  It likely did not.

The Seahawks

Obviously, the Seahawks would never purposely attempt to take themselves out of the game, so one could count them out as a team group and as individuals.  The ‘Hawks would not purposely rig a loss in the Super Bowl, as they are by no means the fictional Cleveland Indians from the movie “Major League”, in which the owner purposefully tried to get the team to lose games so she would be able to move the team to Miami.  Even though Seattle can be easily counted out of the conspiracy, I still want to touch on some of their players as I did with that of Pittsburgh.  I was impressed to see the Seattle players avoid talking trash on the officials after the game, but instead congratulate the Steelers on the victory and state that they simply did not make enough plays to win the game.  Hasselbeck and Alexander were classy during interviews after the game, as was Holmgren.  Coach Holmgren finally made a statement to the fans about the officiating simply stating that he was surprised to have to not only have to play against the Steelers in the game, but also the game’s officiating crew.  I can’t blame Holmgren for stating that to the disgruntled Seattle fans, as he is human.  Even TE Jerramy Stevens, who got a bad rap with the pre-game comments he made, never threatened to “tap out” or provide any other hostile remarks directed at his opponents. Stevens was instead honorable in finding a way to state that he meant no harm with his original comments, but would also not back down from them.  In the end, Jerramy Stevens accidentally got his name thrust into the headlines, and never was able to hold up his end of the bargain.  Maybe being in the spotlight razzed Stevens too much, as he had three or four perfect passes from Hasselbeck that he was not able to come away with.  Being open almost all night long, Stevens had many opportunities, as did kicker Josh Brown.  However, you can’t blame Josh Brown, as all his field goal attempts were up in the upper 40’s to 50 plus range.  Brown does have quite a strong leg, and almost hit all of them, but even though he is paid to kick the ball through the uprights, those monster kicks are not guarantees.  Furthermore, Seattle dominated most of the game (turnover battle in favor of Seattle 2-1, as well as time of possession 33:02 to 26:58 - most of the time Pittsburgh added in the fourth by running out the clock), yet still did not win.  The Seahawks had 7 penalties for 70 yards, while the Steelers had 3 for 20 yards (with two of those I believe being false starts early in the game).   Seattle had the opportunities, but certainly was not helped by the officiating.  However, even if the officiating had been more even throughout the game, I’m not saying that Seattle would have pulled it out.  The game likely would have been much closer, and more exciting.  Enough about the ‘Hawks though, as they would obviously not intentionally make winning the Super Bowl more difficult for themselves. 

Hmm, secret group or alliance… the secret group…not Pittsburgh, and not Seattle…

Perhaps the NFL league officials are the secret group or alliance?  Maybe the zebras became the focus of the game at the request of the NFL league officials?  But why??

The Conspiracy Theorist in me, Part III

If there were ever a reason that some crazy conspiracy theory was actually true, and the Super Bowl was rigged, why would it be?  A simple question leads to a simple answer.

Money. 

Dollars.  Coin.  Bucks.  Dough.  Bling Bling.  Greenbacks. Money, money, and more money!  It could have been all about the revenue for the NFL, and one could argue that the NFL would have lost a vast amount of revenue if Seattle had won this game, just like in past Super Bowl games such as the Patriots / Packers game (when New England did not have the revenue draw, as they do today), as well as others.  Perhaps the NFL media wanted the Steelers to win and this is why the officials swayed their calls in Pittsburgh’s favor.  Even the game coverage showed more visuals and highlights of the Steelers.  Anyone recall the player bio’s with the Lombardi Trophy?  My one friend during the game pointed out that they were all Steelers players.  Unless I missed some of those, he was right.  The only Seattle player I recall was Hasselbeck in the third quarter, and the rest were the Steelers including Coach Bill Cowher, QB Ben Roethlisberger, WR Hines Ward, and RB Jerome Bettis toward the end of the game.  They saved Bettis for last, because perhaps they knew that they could? 

I want to reiterate that I am not a Steelers hater, so don’t even go there.  A number of my friends are Pittsburgh fans, as I am a Penn State graduate, and I’m happy for them as they are able to celebrate a Super Bowl championship.  I’m especially happy for my friend Sean, who I also went to college with.  During Super Bowl XXX, I heard from a mutual friend that Sean practically gave himself a concussion by ####ing his head off his dresser after Pittsburgh blew an opportunity to defeat the Cowboys.  Being a Redskins fan, I feel his pain, as it is always tough losing to the Dallas Cowboys.  However, I can’t imagine inflicting bodily harm on myself.  Anyway, I was happy sitting at home knowing that Sean’s wife more then likely did not have to take him to the hospital after the victory.  Then again… the victory celebration could have resulted in its own set of problems.  Oh well, either way you look at it, what a controversial game the Super Bowl was this year. 

As for Seattle fans, while I feel for you in this time of frustration, I have supreme confidence that all of you are already doing just fine.  It takes a positive attitude to deal with all that rain, and I’m sure that many of the fans of Seattle will certainly turn a “positive spin” stating that their team did get to the Super Bowl, and could very well be back again next season.  Perhaps the Seahawks fans should look to the Raiders for help, as they are no longer a division rival and had to deal with the agony of the infamous “tuck rule”.  Speaking of the “tuck rule”, I still to this day have never heard one Patriots fan admit that they got lucky with that play, and that the rule was a joke.  If there is a New England fan out there that would like to admit it, please post a comment for my own sanity.  If you are going to state what every other Pats fan says up here in Boston, then please spare me!  

To summarize, I am taking an approach as a football fan who feels that Seattle was not the only team and fan base that was cheated on Super Bowl Sunday 2006.  The general populous of football fans were cheated by watching this game.  Not only was the game not that exciting, but also sloppy and poorly officiated.  Some of the guys at our party were falling asleep.  I almost found myself hoping for commercial breaks to see what ads were featured.  Alas, not even the commercials were great this year, which is equally frustrating.  I am however working on building my own “Magic Fridge” though.  What can I say, my roommates get thirsty.  Let’s hope that the NFL gets “thirsty” for a cleaner and more exciting Super Bowl XLI.    Or maybe that will only happen if two storied or popular franchises are playing in the game, such as the Cowboys and Steelers, or the “New Patriots” and Packers, or the Colts and Redskins, etc.  Or perhaps that is just the “Conspiracy Theorist in me”. 

BAD SEED AWARD