That’s right friends, it’s time to hurl some more tomatoes. Don’t worry, this batch is safe. While I go and unwrap a package of these magical red fruits, let me start by preparing to send some in the direction of a particular sports icon, who also has a part-time gig as a rapper. C’mon, you know who I’m talking about…

Let’s get this thing started… where do you direct your tomatoes this week?


Throwing Tomatoes – Volume VII

Top of the Vine This Week:
Shaquille O’Neal
…for giving the media something to chew up and spit out for a month.
Per O’Neal during a freestyle rap in a night club the other night, “You know how I be, last week Kobe couldn’t do without me”.

What would have been more fitting to say? This…”You know how I be, recent months the Suns couldn’t win with me. You know my game’s overripe, I choose to rap instead of work from the charity stripe”. Hey, give me a break, I was just freestylin’.

All in all, I shouldn’t complain. This performance was a ton better than any of his movies.


Los Angeles Lakers
…for draining the life out of what was an NBA Finals filled with “mega-hype”.
It was the Lakers and Celtics in the NBA Finals for the first time in over two decades. It was supposed to be a great series. It was supposed to live up to the hype. It flat out didn’t. Kudos to the C’s though, as they were clearly the better team this time around.

Coco Crisp
…for not just charging the mound against James Shields and the Rays days ago, but recently thinking his suspension should be reduced to less than seven games.
Rays manager Joe Maddon probably deserves a tomato here too. Still, Crisp should have known Tampa was going to throw at him. He should have kept his cool and not charged the mound. Honestly, I also have to give him a gold star for his dodging of the original punch by James Shields. That was a “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out” type of dodging maneuver right there. I bet the ensuing dogpile didn’t feel too great though.

Pacman Jones
…for thinking that changing his name will officially change his image.
Sorry Pacman (or Adam is it?), I guess I should think about giving you a “gold star” for trying. Still, I just can’t do it. Leave your name alone, just change yourself. Maybe I’m the kind of guy that needs to see results first.

Johan Santana
…for giving up a grand slam to an AL pitcher.
That’s right, Felix Hernandez hit a granny off of Santana, the first time an AL pitcher had done so in nearly four decades. What’s the phrase I’m looking for? I believe it’s “even a blind squirrel finds a nut some day”. Sorry King Felix… but hey, take care of that ankle.

Baseball Players Using Viagra
…as a performance enhancer.
I saw this report a few weeks ago via Fox Sports. Still, this story has more than four hours of lasting time (sorry, couldn’t resist that one). Therefore, I had to mention it here. Hmm, I guess the players are going to need larger cups…

The Big Brown Saga
…for not disappearing.
First off, this was the most disappointing Triple Crown race in years if you ask me. Now, a report on ESPN is stating that a freelance photographer submitted closeups of a loose shoe on Big Brown’s right hind hoof. However, don’t go and try and question the photographer’s “cred”, as Rick Dutrow apparently confirmed this. Still, the Big Brown story is done. Let’s move on to the next horse that will only win the first two legs of the Triple Crown.

Tiger Woods
…for making the wrong decision regarding the U.S. Open.
I know Tiger is competitive. I know how much he loves to play… and more so, how much he loves to win. I know he wants Jack’s record. I know he wanted that U.S. Open. Still, he’s no superhero, even if he managed to win at Torrey Pines, while basically playing on one leg. Think of it this way, if he sacrifices the U.S. Open to heal more, he then has the British, PGA, and Ryder Cup. That’s more opportunities for big victories. Bad move Tiger.

Don Imus
…for being Don Imus.
Yes, a race related comment happened again, this time involving Pacman Jones (wait, wait, I remember… Adam Jones). Seriously, this guy should just write up an excuse and apology before every show. Face it “Donny Boy”, you’re under a microscope and will be for life. Get used to it.

Honorary Tomato Throwers of the Week
Because those who found success earn a chance to sling one at their opposition

Rocco Mediate – at Johnny Miller for making those ridiculous comments during the U.S. Open
Chicago Cubs – at their south side neighbors, who they recently swept out of Chi-town
Baltimore Orioles – at their critics who said they would be lucky to win 50 games.
Kobe Bryant – at those who said he would never get back to the Finals again without Shaq


This has been “Throwing Tomatoes”… but don’t worry, these weren’t laced with salmonella.

 

The playoffs are coming!  The playoffs are coming!

The playoffs are coming!  The playoffs are coming!

Scream it loud, scream it proud, don’t be skittish.

Scream it like you’re Paul Revere warning of the British!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the NBA’s regular season winds down to a close,

Will there be major upsets this year?  Nobody really knows.

The East and the West both have all of its playoff teams,

The year is narrowing down to sixteen city’s title dreams.

 

In the East, see the Pistons, Heat, Cavs, Nets, and the Magic

Not the Celtics, Knicks, or Sixers… for some that news is tragic.

In the West, it’s teams like the Suns, Spurs, Mavs, and the Lakers,

While the Grizz and Sonics fight for picks like Durant, any takers?

 

Let’s run down the playoff teams that will participate

In this year’s NBA Playoffs, c’mon, it’s gonna be great

Starting with eight from the East, and then eight from the West,

Yet only one team will emerge as each conference’s best.

 

In the East, the Detroit Pistons come in as the number one team,

Leaving players like Rasheed and Webber having a new title dream.

Detroit would love to have the Larry O’Brien Trophy firmly in its hands,

With Artest out of the picture, at least players should stay out of the stands.

 

The Cavs earned the #2 seed on the last day of the regular season,

This team could make some noise, King James being the main reason.

1992 was the last time the Cavs were in the Conference Finals,

Another trip would bring joy and happiness to all the Cleveland locals.

 

Toronto is peppered with young talent led by star Chris Bosh,

This young superstar’s game is dominant, and just simply posh.

The Raptors, eh? Raise up a hefty glass of Molson beer,

Many see Sam Mitchell as this year’s Coach of the Year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The East shouldn’t forget the Champs, that being the Miami Heat,

Winning back-to-back NBA titles would be quite an astronomical feat.

Dwayne Wade is hurting, and will be facing some pretty tough foes,

He’ll need to contribute regularly, and Shaq will need to hit his free throws.

 

The Bulls improved its team by adding a lot more hair,

Braided or as a fro, Chicago fans simply just don’t care.

Big Ben’s powerful inside presence was the team’s main need.

As a result, the Windy City almost snagged the East’s two seed.

 

Playing well late earned the Nets a much desired playoff bid,

You think they would have gotten there if they had traded Jason Kidd?

Kidd isn’t the only star on this team, there’s that other guy named Vince,

These two players alone are enough to make an opposing coach wince.

 

Once feared in the East was the team known as the Washington Wizards,

Instead, they’re now a team ignored more than a turkey’s gizzards.

Still playoff bound but without stars like Caron Butler or Gilbert Arenas,

Washington’s chances of winning are as likely as a new job earned by Imus.

 

Sneaking in as the East’s 8th seed, the Orlando Magic are here,

Wait a second, didn’t Dwight Howard promise an NBA title this year?

Four years ago, the 8th seeded Magic led Detroit 3 games to 1,

This year may be a tougher task to spoil all of Detroit’s playoff fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A year ago, the Mavs were in the Finals with a 2-0 series lead,

Last year’s collapse led to this year’s determination and a #1 seed.

Players like Dirk and Howard, coached by Avery, owned by “Cubes”,

Those who don’t think the Mavs can get it done, they’re all just rubes.

 

Let us not forget that team in the desert, known as the Suns,

Is there any other team that has more potent offensive weapons?

Fall short again, The fans will pout, the fans will cry in Phoenix,

Another titleless year could see a rise in Zona’s sales of Kleenex.

 

Sometimes overlooked in the West are the Spurs at seed #3,

In these playoffs, Tim Duncan won’t have to worry about Joey C.

Last season, in a Game 7, San Antonio went down to the playoff wire,

That painful loss to the Mavs has fueled this team’s postseason fire.

 

It’s a rarity for Jerry Sloan and the Jazz to ever produce a loser,

No different this year, with players like Kirilenko, Williams, and Boozer.

Another young team from Utah that many give little chance,

Not past the first round since 2000, the Jazz hope to advance.

 

Healthy and talented, these Houston Rockets are ready to fly and soar,

Don’t forget how players like T-Mac and Yao can quickly rebound and score.

This team’s talent level has the city of Houston feeling excited and alive,

Quite similar to the year the Rockets won the title back in 1995.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Led by ‘Melo and Iverson, the red-hot Nuggets are ready to begin,

But over the last three years, Denver has been unable to earn a series win.

In fact, in each of those years, the Nuggets lost each series 4 games to 1,

If that happens again in ’07, George Karl’s time in Denver likely will be done.

 

Next is the Lakers, back to being the lone playoff representative of L.A.,

There is no doubt that Phil Jackson will have Kobe and the boys ready to play.

However, down the stretch, this team has been struggling for quite a while,

That powerful Phoenix offense likely won’t bring Jack Nicholson to a smile.

 

The Warriors are playoff bound for the first time since 1994,

I don’t like their chances against Dallas, but man can Baron score.

Then again, against the Mavs, recently, this team has played quite great,

Maybe this year’s upset could come at the hands of Golden State?

 

With a large talent pool, this year’s playoffs will be hard to predict,

Care to share any of the playoff winners that you yourself have picked?

I think the obvious choices would be the Pistons and the Mavs,

Then again, I wouldn’t be shocked to see teams like the Rockets and the Cavs.

 

Perhaps Shaq and Wade can push Miami towards a possible repeat,

And maybe Nash and the Suns can join them in a fiery meet and greet.

I wonder if upsets could be pulled off by the Magic or Golden State,

Well, this is the NBA Playoffs, let’s get ‘em started, I certainly cannot wait!