This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew is in the capital of NASCAR, Charlotte, for this week's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Served slow-cooked, with hickory-flavored BBQ sauce and corn on the cob. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Jeff Burton: as the winner of this race, he automatically gets first billing. He stated before the race that he needs to win races in order to have a shot at winning the championship. Tonight was an excellent start. Additional props go out to his pit crew; they were ON tonight. On every pit stop, they gained at least one position. And on three stops alone, they opted for gas only. Pit stops like that throughout the race WILL get it done. They also gained two positions in the points and now are less than 70 markers behind Jimmie Johnson. Great job, Jeff and the #31 crew!
Kasey Kahne: after the very last pit stop, his car came to life and he rapidly moved through the field. He just didn't have enough laps left to catch Burton. Still, second place is nothing to sneeze at.
The Busch Brothers: Kurt finished third and Kyle finished fourth. Like Kahne, Kurt Busch's car got stronger as the race went on. Kurt got as high as second before settling for third. Kyle started 11th and immediately charged to the front. He led 14 laps and got out of the Chase basement with that strong run. While I'm not normally into pink, Kyle's pink M&M's paint scheme was SWEET.
Jamie McMurray: he rounded out the top 5 and for once didn't have idiots surrounding him. When he has a strong car, and he did tonight, he knows how to run up front. A lot of his bad finishes are due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting caught up in someone else's mess. Props to McMurray for not overdriving the car and knowing what kind of car he had.
Jimmie Johnson: he led the most laps in the race, 67, but faded a bit down the stretch as he was racing with Burton for the lead after the last caution. He used up too much of the car and faded from second to sixth. Still, he didn't take a major hit.
Mark Martin: not bad for a part-timer. He still knows how to run up front and still is competitive. Now that he'll be driving for Hendrick Motorsports in the #5 full time next season, look for him to win a race and make the Chase. He spent almost two-thirds of the race in the top 10.
Paint Schemes: Kyle Busch, Bobby Labonte, and Elliott Sadler sported pink paint schemes for breast cancer awareness. For further information, go to Susan G. Komen For The Cure.
Honorable Mention: Greg Biffle, Jeff Gordon, David Ragan.
THE BAD
Carl Edwards: he had ignition issues that kept him on the pits for an extended period of time. When he returned to the track, he was 16 laps down in 40th place. A sub good to Edwards for gaining seven spots through attrition. While he took a major hit in the points, dropping from second to fourth, it could have been MUCH worse.
Casey Mears: he was the Field Filler of the Day. Zero laps led. Zero laps in the top 10. He finished three laps down.
Bill Elliott: I admire that he still has the fire in the belly to race, but the Wood Brothers are no longer among the top owners in NASCAR and haven't been since Kasey Kahne was in diapers. He was competitive as recently as 2003, but he's no longer competitive. With the Wood Brothers being a single car operation, it's much harder to be competitive in today's NASCAR. A sub good to Elliott for finishing eight spots higher than he started.
Dave Blaney: he narrowly misses winning the Field Filler of the Day because of his higher finish than Mears. Plus, he finished higher than he started. Like Mears, zero laps led, zero laps in the top 10.
THE UGLY
AJ Allmendinger: that was a doozy of a wreck he was involved in early in the race. He had a one-race deal with Michael Waltrip Racing and the race ended VERY early for him. He did lead one lap early on, a sub good for that.
Mike Skinner and Ken Schrader: the two veteran drivers tangled in a wreck in which neither gave the other position. It all started when Michael Waltrip made contact with Skinner as they were three wide down the stretch. As Skinner was regaining control, he made contact with Schrader, who wasn't yielding his position. Had Schrader yielded, there wouldn't have been a wreck.
Dale Earnhardt Jr.: he cut a tire just before he was about to pit anyway, wrecked, and caused major damage to the #88 Chevrolet. While he didn't lose a position in the standings, he lost MAJOR points due to his 36th-place finish.
Matt Kenseth: he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got tangled up in a five-car accident on lap 194 that caused major damage to his #17 Ford. He finished 41st and dropped to 11th place in the standings.
Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than a Texans' collapse, Crappafoni Pictures presents Week 5 of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, complete with hot wings and a cold draft on the side. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Carolina Panthers: when you toss a shutout, particularly the first one of the season, you get the first listing every single time. But it wasn't just the shutout. The Panthers' defense held Larry Johnson to TWO YARDS rushing. Seven carries, two yards. Six feet. Seventy-two inches. The Chiefs were limited to 127 total yards. FOR THE GAME. Offensively, the Panthers amassed 441 total yards and enjoyed a nearly 2 to 1 advantage in time of possession. Their offensive explosion came despite both of their starting OTs out for the game. Yes, it was the Chiefs, but the Chiefs were coming off a surprising win against the Broncos last week. Could this be the 2003 season all over again?
New York Giants: they methodically administered a beatdown to the Seattle Seahawks. Now unlike the Chiefs, the Seahawks have been a recent playoff contender. The G-men had their way with the Hawks, to the tune of 523 total yards on offense. Brandon Jacobs couldn't be stopped, amassing most of his yardage in the first half, including a 44-yard run that set up the Giants' first TD. Defensively, they held the Hawks to 187 total yards. The G-men are the team to beat in the NFC, if not the entire NFL. Carolina may have something for them when they meet later in the season.
Tennessee Titans: like the Giants, they are still unbeaten. Unlike the Giants on Sunday, they won with a suffocating defense. Their game against the Ravens was a classic case of smash mouth defense. I can guarantee you both teams needed extra Advil this morning! They forced two turnovers, and limited the Ravens to 210 total yards.
Miami Dolphins: could this team be a PLAYOFF team? Judging by how they played, yes. They certainly have improved. Props to the Fins for winning back to back games against the Patriots and Chargers. To hold an explosive team like the Chargers to 10 points, and holding LT to 35 yards on 12 carries, speaks volumes about their defense. Not to mention holding the Bolts to 202 total yards. An extra good goes to their goal-line stand to start the fourth quarter. And it seemed like the Fins had the ball all afternoon, as they held the ball for just over 36 minutes. Ronnie Brown was the stud, gaining 125 yards on 24 carries. Chad Pennington did a great job in managing the game, keeping the Fins out of trouble, and throwing a block that sprung Brown for his TD run. With this win, the Fins have more wins this season already than all of last season.
Arizona Cardinals: to beat a previously undefeated Bills team definitely gets you in this category. The way they did it impressed me! There's so many props to go around, where do I start? I'll start with the defense. They forced four Bills turnovers. They limited Marshawn #### to 55 yards rushing. Kurt Warner was sharp, throwing for 250 yards and 2 TDs. Warner is looking like the Warner of the 1999 season. Steve Breaston has emerged as a third receiver. This team could be very dangerous in January.
Washington Redskins: once again, the Skins did not commit a turnover. They remain the only team in the league to not commit a turnover. Jason Campbell continues to impress, leading the Redskins to a HUGE road win. The Redskins gashed the league leading Eagles' rush defense to 204 yards on the ground. Clinton Portis gained 145 of those yards, including a HUGE fourth down conversion late in the game that allowed the Redskins to run out the clock. Game, set, and match.
Honorable Mention: Pittsburgh Steelers, Chicago Bears, Denver Broncos, Atlanta Falcons.
THE BAD
Detroit Lions: they are an absolutely putrid team. Granted, they lost to a good Bears team, but they got WORKED. And at HOME, no less. No offense, no defense. Perhaps they should change their city name to the Etroit Lions, since there's no D in Etroit. Could they go winless this season?
Kansas City Chiefs: after being so good last week, they return to form. It was like they were clueless on how to game plan against the Panthers. Nothing they tried worked.
Seattle Seahawks: this couldn't go any worse in Mike Holmgren's final season. Even with Bobby Engram and Deion Branch back from injury, that didn't help much. Granted, they did play the defending champs, but there's NO excuse for not being competitive. The BENGALS pushed the G-men to OT before falling. The Seahawks gave up after the Giants' first TD. They are DONE. Stick a fork in 'em.
THE UGLY
Houston Texans: what a colossal meltdown! They had a win practically wrapped up against a front-line team like Indianapolis. Then they proceeded to play giveaway with the Colts. Sage Rosenfels was putrid, committing three turnovers late in the fourth quarter. David Carr thought Rosenfels was putrid. The Colts took FULL advantage, scoring 21 points in a two-minute span late in the fourth quarter.
Those are my nominees for Week 5. Feel free to come in with your nominees!!
This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew presents to you this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Served Southern-style, with all the fixin's. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Tony Stewart: as the winner of this race, he automatically gets first billing. The win broke a 43 race winless streak. This is Smoke's first win at Talladega. Way to go Smoke!
Regan Smith: finished a career-best second place. While he never led a lap, he gave it his best effort to win the race, but came up just short.
DEI: with Smith, Paul Menard, and Aric Almirola, they finished 2-3-4. A HUGE shot in the arm for the organization.
Elliott Sadler: he had a strong car all day and led four laps en route to a fifth-place finish. Excellent effort.
Scott Riggs: he's very rarely been mentioned in any of these categories. He finished tenth and led four laps. A good job by a driver that's looking for a ride next season.
Honorable Mention: David Ragan, Jeff Burton, Clint Bowyer, Bobby Labonte.
THE BAD
Ryan Newman: as the last place finisher, he gets this dubious spot. He had mechanical issues all day. I wonder if he's counting down the days until he joins Stewart-Haas Racing?
Sterling Marlin: while he did well to qualify, his car also had mechanical issues.
THE UGLY
The Big One: the first one happened on Lap 69 and involved nine cars. It started when Brian Vickers' right front tire exploded and the following drivers were involved: Vickers, Martin Truex, Jr., Almirola, Kasey Kahne, David Gilliland, Terry Labonte, Jamie McMurray, Mike Skinner, and Tony Raines. NASCAR threw a red flag that lasted for 17 minutes.
The Big One, Part 2: this happened on Lap 174, and unlike the first one, this one had HUGE championship implications, as several Chase drivers were involved. A total of 12 drivers were involved: Carl Edwards (who started it), Greg Biffle, Matt Kenseth, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Kevin Harvick, Kyle Busch, Dave Blaney, Michael Waltrip, Travis Kvapil, Joe Nemechek, Reed Sorenson, and Juan Pablo Montoya. The first six are all Chasers. Another Chaser, Jimmie Johnson, NARROWLY escaped being involved. IMO, this clinched a third straight title for Johnson. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good, and Johnson was LUCKY. How he escaped, I have no earthly idea. I'll have something for Edwards later on.
The Lane Kiffin Era is over in Oakland. Al Davis fired Kiffin for cause, meaning they're likely to try to not pay him for the remainder of his contract. With all the hubbub and speculation surrounding Davis and the Raiders, he took it upon himself to announce the firing at a news conference. I will look at this as objectively as possible. First, from Davis' perspective. Then, from Kiffin's perspective.
Davis preemptively struck to get his message out, unfiltered. He figures it's better to hear the message coming out of the horse's mouth, figuratively speaking. Kiffin was fired for insubordination to the team. Davis DEMANDS total loyalty to the Raiders if you're an employee. From Davis' view, he expected Kiffin to be loyal to the Raiders' organization. When Kiffin allegedly made overtures to Arkansas, expressing interest in the Razorbacks' head coaching job (that eventually went to Bobby Petrino), Davis was LIVID. Then in the offseason it got personal between Davis and Kiffin. Davis allegedly believed that Kiffin was undermining his authority as the owner. Davis showed accountability for Kiffin's hire, and for other hires he has made in the past. He laid it out for all to see. And for that I commend him. The image I saw of Al Davis is that he is a man that wants to win and all that losing is eating him up.
Lane Kiffin believed that he had control over hiring and firing his own coaches when he took the Raiders head coaching job. He wanted to fire Rob Ryan (a loyal Raiders coach since the Gruden days) and hire his own defensive coordinator. That's fine in a lot of organizations, but the Raiders are unlike any organization in the NFL. With the Raiders, the buck stops with Al Davis. As a head coach, Kiffin is responsible for putting a winning team on the field and working with the coaching staff that's there. Kiffin had the Raiders very competitive, and was starting to change the culture in the locker room. They just didn't know how to win yet.
There is enough blame on both sides to go around. The bottom line is that Kiffin was 5-15 in a year plus with the Raiders. That's not going to get it done, especially in a win-now league. Davis saw that Kiffin wasn't going to be that coach that would take the Raiders to the next level, that would restore the swagger the Raiders had in their heyday. After analyzing all that happened today, Davis was well within his right to fire Kiffin at this point in the season. Hopefully Tom Cable (Guy) can bring stability and a sense of calm to the job. I'm betting he does eventually.
Around the world of the NFL faster than the Raiders blowing a fourth quarter lead, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you in high-def intensity, Week 4 of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Sit back and enjoy!
THE GOOD
New York Jets: did Brett Favre turn the clock back 15 years? SIX TD passes! This was the first time the Jets turned him loose. He came within one TD pass of matching the NFL record. Talk about a shootout! If you love offense, this game was for you! It was a high-speed, high-def shootout at the OK Corral won by the J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!, 56-35. Not to be outdone, Kurt Warner passed for nearly 500 yards in the defeat.
Kansas City Chiefs: they earned their first win of the season against the previously unbeaten Denver Broncos. First of all, it was surprising the Chiefs won to begin with. But the way they won was even more surprising: forcing four Denver turnovers and taking advantage of them. Larry Johnson was a stud, gashing the Broncos for 198 yards on 28 carries, including a 65-yarder that set up a TD.
Washington Redskins: going into Big D and putting a beatdown on the Cowboys will get you into this category every single time. Make no mistake, that was a beatdown administered by the Redskins. Yes, the margin of victory was only 2 points, but the game wasn't even that close. Only because the Redskins played prevent defense was it even that close. They enjoyed a nearly 2 to 1 advantage in TOP. Once again, they did not commit a turnover, remaining the only team in the NFL to not commit a turnover this season.
Tennessee Titans: they put a beatdown on a good Minnesota team to the tune of four turnovers. The Titans scored all their TDs off Minnesota turnovers. The defense also registered four sacks and an INT.
Carolina Panthers: could this be shades of the 2003 season? Steve Smith making big plays, Muhsin Muhammad making big catches to move the chains, Jake Delhomme making the passes he needed. Delhomme completed 20 of 29 for 294 yards and 2 TDs. Jonathan Stewart did his best Stephen Davis impression, scoring on an 8 yard TD run. The defense pitched in with two sacks, and limited the Falcons' potent offense to 268 yards.
Chicago Bears: their defense is playing at the level of a few years ago, when they made it to Super Bowl 42. Very tough and swarming. And that goal-line stand! That turned the momentum of the game Chicago's way. Kyle Orton threw for three TDs, all in the first half. Matt Forte kept the chains moving, something they haven't had since Thomas Jones a few years ago.
New Orleans Saints: Deuce McAllister is healthy. Great news for Saints fans, bad news for the rest of the league. McAllister moved the chains and set up Drew Brees to make huge plays. When this team is completely healthy, and they will be by their bye week, this team can be a Super Bowl contender. The Saints' defense had six sacks of J.T. O'Sullivan, and forced three turnovers.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Diego Chargers, Buffalo Bills.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is listed first for a reason--THEY SUCK. This is a historically bad team, bad enough that it cost Scott Linehan his job 1/4 of the way into the season. As long as they remain winless, they'll be the first team listed in the Bad category.
Cincinnati Bengals: while this team is a mess, it's not at the level of the Rams, yet. They lost the Battle of Ohio to a slightly less woeful team in the Cleveland Browns. They'll be right behind the Rams for this week, only because the Detroit Lions had a bye.
Oakland Raiders: to say they are a dysfunctional team is like saying the sun rises from the east. They have put the "dys" in dysfunctional. And it's not the team per se; they play hard and sell out for Lane Kiffin. They don't know how to win. You can go on and on about how much Al Davis has contributed to the game, and he has. But his time has come and gone. The downfall of this team started when he let Jon Gruden go. When the Raiders are good, the league is much better for it. Now Kiffin wants to change the losing culture, and he and Davis are butting heads. They had a chance to choke out the Chargers and didn't. They could be 2-2 or even 3-1, but they're 1-3 instead.
San Francisco 49ers: what a horrid display they put on against the Saints. This was supposed to be a good test. They failed miserably. They failed to account for Deuce McAllister, who repeatedly moved the chains, setting up Drew Brees to burn the Niners' secondary for huge plays. The vaunted Gold Rush was fool's gold against the Saints, not registering a sack and putting very little pressure on Brees.
Denver Broncos: what the hell was that, losing to a previously winless team? Not only that, they put a BEATDOWN on your ####. The less said about you, the better. Now go play with the other mediocre teams and stop posing as a playoff team, because you're not.
THE UGLY
Cleveland at Cincinnati: any time two winless teams match up, it goes into this category. Someone HAD to win, might as well have been Cleveland.
Denver Broncos: this team played so pathetic and lackluster they get put in TWO categories this week. FOUR turnovers? Against one of the WORST defenses in the NFL? Yes, they outgained Kansas City, but most of that yardage came in garbage time, well after the outcome had been decided. Actually, three categories--I've added a FUGLY category for the Broncos.
Green Bay Packers: another team posing as a playoff team. Like Denver, the Pack committed four turnovers, only against a very good defense. I'll go easier on them, only because they were playing a very good Tampa Bay defense.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to chime in with yours!
Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to call out the objects of your ire for their sheer idiocy, incompetence, arrogance, and general all-around #####ry. I know you have some sports personality, team, coach, owner, league, commissioner, etc., that you want to throw under the Bus. This is the forum for it! And away we go!
MLB
Hank Steinbrenner: Boss Jr. is at it again. He’s crying sour grapes over the Yankees missing the playoffs while the Dodgers under Joe Torre (who Boss Jr. got rid of) are on the verge of making the playoffs, despite having a worse record than the Yankees. He's complaining about the unfairness of it all!! Wah, wah, cry me an #### river. If your team were GOOD enough to make the playoffs, you wouldn’t be crying the Hudson River. The Yankees are old, slow, and there is not enough young players to step in. It’s going to be SO GOOD to see Torre managing in the postseason while Yankee Stadium is dark and awaiting the wrecking ball. For crying sour grapes, Boss Jr. gets thrown under the Bus, then the Bus backs up to run him over again, then the Bus drives forward to run him over again.
Minnesota Twins: for not putting away the Chicago White Sox by losing two of three to the lowly Kansas City Royals. Now the Sox have to play a makeup game at home against the Detroit Tigers. If the Sox win, they host the Twins on Tuesday for the AL Central title. The Twins had their chances against the Royals and blew it. Losing 2 of 3 to the lowly Royals at home will get you thrown under the Bus every single time.
NFL
Denver Broncos: this is for losing to the lowly Kansas City Chiefs by committing four turnovers. Just when many of us were starting to buy into the hype, you go out and lay an egg. You should have been able to beat the Chiefs in your sleep. But you didn't beat them when you were awake. Just for that, I'm going to put the Chiefs in the Good category. Then I'm going to throw the Broncos under the Bus.
Oakland Raiders: for blowing a fourth quarter lead and rolling over. You had a chance to step on the Chargers’ throats and choke them out. But you didn’t. Even the CHIEFS won, for crying out loud! Seemed like you WANTED Lane Kiffin fired by the way you played in the fourth quarter. And what was that FG attempt from Danville all about? (Actually, it was a 76-yard FG attempt to end the first half) For allowing the Chargers to come from behind and making key mistakes in the fourth quarter, the Raiders get thrown under the Bus.
Plaxico Burress: why did you leave the Giants in a lurch? All it would have taken was a simple phone call to the GM on Monday morning stating that you needed some time to tend to some family issues and all would have been well. But you didn’t even give the team the courtesy of a phone call. They blew up your cell phone trying to reach you. Then you issue a lame statement through your agent. Now the G-men clipped you off for a game for insubordination. Now you get thrown Under The Bus.
NASCAR
Joe Nemechek: Field Filler Joe was at it again. He was racing the leaders while NOT on the lead lap. What the hell was that all about? You're a field filler, know your freaking role: to move over and let the leaders race for the win, NOT race WITH them. I was waiting for Carl Edwards to punt you into the wall, then for him to kick your #### if you said squat about it. For being an #### and racing with the leaders late, Field Filler Joe gets thrown under the Bus.
Juan Pablo Montoya's crew: the #42 car failed inspection after winning the pole, handing the pole (and the win, in effect) to Jimmie Johnson. You're responsible for making sure the car passes inspection any time an inspection is required. Since the car failed inspection and Montoya had to start from the back of the field, his crew gets thrown under the Bus.
And now for a few off the Beaten Path:
Royal Caribbean: the cruise line is experimenting with adding a premium charge for steaks in its main dining room on each of their ships. Ever since cruises began, it was standard practice that premium meals WERE INCLUDED in the price of each ticket. Understandably, many long-time customers are PISSED. I throw the idiots that thought of this cockamamie idea Under The Bus.
Clay Aiken: SO FREAKING WHAT that you come out of the closet. WHO THE #### CARES? This non-news item was plastered all over the Internet early last week. What, the presidential campaign was too boring? (Oops, it probably is!) All this stunt is for is to bring attention to your flagging career. Celebutard formula: my career is flagging and circling the drain, hmmmmmmm, I'll announce that I'm ####. Listen, I don't care if you're #### or not; just don't beat us over the head with it, like it's the most important news item in the history of the world, because it isn't. Aiken gets thrown Under The Bus for boring 99% of the earth's population that don't give a rat's #### with his non-news item. DISCLAIMER: I'm one of the 99%. I merely reported it for the sole purpose of throwing Aiken Under The Bus.
The Geico Cavemen: what a couple of whiny, snively mamma's boys! I HATE THOSE COMMERCIALS involving them! Especially the one where they pose as tough biker guys, but when they see the Geico billboard, they turn around and leave. The actors that play them get thrown Under The Bus for giving men a bad name and portraying them as whiny, snively mamma's boys.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours. As an added bonus this week, I'm allowing nonsports figures to be thrown under the Bus.
This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew serves up a smoking hot slab of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, BBQ style, complete with corn on the cob, baked beans, and a side of salad. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Jimmie Johnson: as the race winner, he automatically gets first billing, and a healthy cyber helping of ribs, baked beans, salad, and Pepsi to wash it all down. He started from the pole after Juan Pablo Montoya's pole-winning qualifying effort was disallowed (more on JPM in a later blog). He led the most laps in the race. Great job by the #48 and his crew!
Roush Fenway Racing: I'm putting ALL the RFR drivers together in this category. Four of them (Edwards, Kenseth, Biffle, and Ragan) finished in the top 10 and with Jamie McMurray, all of them finished on the lead lap.
Jeff Gordon: not a bad finish for someone battling flu-like symptoms throughout the race. He was edged out at the line by Greg Biffle for third.
Kevin Harvick/Jeff Burton: the RCR teammates both started at the back of the field (Harvick started 36th and Burton started 43rd after a tachometer change as he began to leave pit road). It didn't take them long to charge to the front and stay there. While they didn't have the oomph to contend for the win, they had enough to stay in the top 10. But the way Edwards and Johnson are running, top 10s won't be enough to stay in the Chase for long.
Clint Bowyer: he had an eventful day to start. First he was black-flagged for passing on the start of the race. Then he goes a lap down. He gets a free pass, then he starts working his way towards the front. Unfortunately, he faded to a 12th place finish.
AJ Allmendinger: he finished a career-high 9th place in what may have been his final race for Team Red Bull. Whoever ends up with Allmendinger will be getting a driver starting to find his groove in the second half of the season.
Elliott Sadler: a very good, and much needed, top 10 finish for ESad. Had a strong car throughout the weekend; he started fourth and finished 10th.
Scott Riggs: had mechanical issues throughout the race, including spending time in the garage for an extended period. He finished 42nd.
Kyle Petty: if Petty Enterprises is to become a viable team again, he needs to find a quality replacement for him in the #45 car. It's become very painful to watch him race. A bright future awaits him in the booth, as he is one of the better commentators.
Joe Nemechek: what was this #### doing RACING with the leaders at the very end of the race? Dude, you're a field filler now, let Johnson and Edwards race to the finish and move the *bleep* out of their way.
Robby Gordon: consider his little experiment of owning a one-car team over. He was halfway decent when he was driving for RCR, winning some races and putting together some top tens. He's a field filler now. He's been rumored to go to DEI next season.
THE UGLY
Kyle Busch/Tony Stewart: both JGR teammates had their issues today. Busch had issues early in the race with a sputtering engine. Fortunately for Busch, the issues worked themselves out and he even led a lap. But they didn't work themselves out well enough, as he later fell two laps down. He finished 28th. As for Stewart, he and Brian Vickers were involved in an incident in which Vickers and Stewart made contact, sending Stewart sideways into the infield grass and damaging his front splitter. His car lost downforce as a result and he spent two minutes in his pit stall as his crew repaired the damaged splitter. In the process, he lost six laps.
Martin Truex, Jr.: he had such a strong run in which he was in the top 10 much of the race; in fact, he led some laps and got the five bonus points. Unfortunately, a transmission failure relegated him to a 43rd place finish. That's UGLY.
Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours.
Around the world of the NFL faster than Reggie Bush turning the corner and gaining huge yardage, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you, the avid NFL fan, this week's version of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Surf and Turf style. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Dallas Cowboys: they went into Lambeau Field and totally throttled a very good Packers team for the nation to see. The Cowboys may have found a #2 receiver in Miles Austin. And their X-Factor so far? Felix Jones. All this guy does is make big plays. For all the talk of the Cowboys' offense, their defense is big, strong, fast, and PHYSICAL. They beat up the Packers into submission.
Miami Dolphins: for a team that was 1-15 last season, they have already matched their win total from last season. RB/QB Ronnie Brown threw as many TD passes than Matt Cassel. Not to mention gashing the Patriots' defense for FOUR rushing TDs. Ricky Williams got into the act, rushing for close to 100 yards (98, to be exact).
Jacksonville Jaguars: to go into Indianapolis and beat the Colts is DEFINITELY good. This was a must win game for the Jags.
Philadelphia Eagles: they pounded a very good Steelers team into submission. Jim Johnson threw everything at the Steelers, including the kitchen sink. I think the sink got a sack in that game. The Eagles recorded nine sacks and a safety. Totally dominating. Not to be overlooked was the punting of Sav Rocca, who kept the Steelers pinned deep in their own territory, allowing the Eagles to keep the pressure on Roethlisberger and the Steelers.
New York Giants: they survived a close, hard-fought game with the Cincinnati Bengals at home, doing what they needed to prevail. They showed the heart of a champion in defeating the Bengals and keeping their undefeated record intact.
Cincinnati Bengals: I'm going to break with tradition and put them in the Good category, despite losing. They went toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champs and went to overtime before losing. Could they take this game and use it as motivation to turn around their season? Only time will tell.
San Diego Chargers: they won a wild shootout against the New York Jets, bringing back memories of Air Coryell. The Chargers punted only once in the game, meaning Mike Scifres had time to check out the hot babes in the stands. Good win by the Bolts.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins, Denver Broncos.
THE BAD
Kansas City Chiefs: these guys are threatening to make this category their permanent home. Granted, they lost to a good Atlanta Falcons team, but they weren't competitive. This team is God-awful BAD.
Detroit Lions: bad, bad team. They were outmatched and outclassed by an up and coming 49ers team.
St. Louis Rams: nothing like some Lamb Chops for the Seattle Seahawks to fatten up on. The Hawks are still licking their chops after that sumptuous meal.
New England Patriots: this team is in SERIOUS trouble. Their defense is old, slow, and a shell of what they were five years ago. Miami just pushed them around the field and b-slapped them all day long.
Cleveland Browns: losing to a rookie QB is bad enough. But they were not competitive. There should have been a DefCon 5 alert for the citizens of Baltimore due to Derek Anderson stinking up the joint so badly. He was BRUTAL.
THE UGLY
Carolina Panthers: Jake Delhomme lost TWO fumbles, one that directly led to a TD. The defense turned journeyman Gus Frerotte into Joe FREAKING Montana. Was that Gus Frerotte or Joe Montana back there? The coaching staff abandoned the run early in the game when it was working. The Panthers also shot themselves in the feet too many times by committing numerous penalties. In short, the Panthers sleepwalked through the entire game. They weren't ready to play. My question is: did someone spike the Panthers' water with Lunesta?
Houston Texans: Matt Schaub threw three picks, including a Pick Six Special to Cortland Finnegan with 1:17 remaining in the game. Finnegan returned the gift a franchise record 99 yards to put the game away. Schaub was BRUTAL, going 17 for 37 for 188 yards.
Those are my Week 3 nominees. Feel free to come in with yours!
It's that time of week again, sports fans. Is there a sports entity that has you in such an uproar that you want to SCREAM? Do you want to call them out for it? Here is your chance to do so! The young lady will take your requests and the offending party will be thrown under that Bus behind her. I have a few requests.
NFL
Carolina Panthers: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EFFORT WAS THAT? You have a battering ram in Jonathan Stewart that SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE BALL 25-30 times today! His total: seven carries for 15 yards! SEVEN FREAKING CARRIES!! Jake Delhomme doesn't escape blame for this, either. He was sacked about 100,000 times, or so it seemed (he was actually sacked five times), and fumbled THREE TIMES, losing ALL of them. Stewart getting the ball a MINIMUM of 20 times would have slowed down the Vikings' defense. Look at what the Dolphins did against New England--they gave the rock to THEIR battering ram Ronnie Brown, and he gashed the Patriots for FOUR TDs and passing for another TD. Dolphins WHIPPED the Patriots at Foxborough. YOU CAN LEARN FROM THAT!
Now let's get to the defense. Aside from Julius Peppers, everyone SUCKED. YOU TURNED A JOURNEYMAN QB INTO FREAKING JOE FREAKING MONTANA! Why didn't you blitz more? Frerotte had ALL FREAKING DAY to pick apart the suspect Panthers' secondary. The coaching staff doesn't escape my wrath, either. FREAKING LIFELESS AND NO IMAGINATION! What did you think, that just by walking out there, you would win? How did you win your first two games? BY PLAYING WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY AND FLYING TO THE BALL. There was none of that today. With a 10-0 lead, you should have been able to choke out the Vikings. You would have if you had fed Jonathan Stewart the rock 20-25 times. SEVEN TIMES IS INEXCUSABLE!! NO WONDER YOU GET THROWN UNDER THE BUS!!
Detroit Lions: this is the saddest sack team in the NFL. But the way Carolina played, the Lions would win their matchup. They were thoroughly dominated by the 49ers. Then to make matters worse, Jon Kitna got injured late in the game. I'll just throw them to the side of the bus.
This blogger: I'm throwing myself under the Bus this week for saying that Carolina would beat Minnesota.
MLB
Colorado Rockies: I'm throwing them Under The Bus for rolling over and laying down to die against the Arizona Diamondbacks, and at home, no less. Arizona came into the series at Colorado having lost 11 road games in a row. Then they go in and sweep the Rockies, two of the games being routs and the middle game being tied going into the ninth, when the Snakes scored two runs. All that good will you earned last year for that amazing run is gone. #### YOU ROCKIES!!
Los Angeles Dodgers: this is for losing half your lead to the D-backs by losing 2 of 3 to the lowly Giants. You turned the Giants' pitching staff into the 1971 Baltimore Orioles' staff. Now it appears you're going to have to win IN San Francisco, NEVER an easy thing to do. For nearly giving back the NL West lead, you get thrown under the Bus.
NASCAR
Robby Gordon: he was racing Jamie McMurray while a lap down. Foolish. Give McMurray the position, and you don't take out a car that could have won the race. McMurray is racing for his future, and finishes like today make it easier for Jack Roush to decide. You get thrown under the Bus twice: for foolishly racing McMurray and for being an ####.
Those are my nominees. Feel free to come in with yours!
This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew presents to you The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Philly Cheesesteak-style. Or you can have it with crab cakes, that works, too. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Greg Biffle: as the race winner, he automatically gets first billing. He spent most of the day in the top 10, and had the best car when it mattered.
Roush Fenway Racing: when you have drivers that finish 1-2-3, that will get you in this category every single time. In addition to Biffle, Matt Kenseth finished second and Carl Edwards finished third. David Ragan finished 18th, and Jamie McMurray had a GREAT run ruined by Robby Gordon. Gordon got loose and collected McMurray, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. McMurray would eventually finish 36th, but he led 35 laps and spent much of the race in the top 10.
Michael Waltrip: in the past, I've criticized him as a field filler, a danger to the other drivers out there, etc. I've even thrown him under the Bus. Not today. Despite starting 40th, he got stronger as the race went on and had by far his best finish of the season, finishing 10th. He was also helped by some good cars retiring early (Kyle Busch), mechanical issues (Denny Hamlin), and crashes. Good job, Michael!
Mark Martin: he started on the outside pole and finished fourth. Although he never led a lap, he spent almost the whole race in the top 10. He served notice that he'll be formidable as he runs full-time in the #5 Chevrolet for Hendrick Motorsports next season.
Jimmie Johnson: he started 20th and looked like he was going to visit Victory Lane, as a very risky gamble paid off. Then late in the race, he faded as the Roush Fenway trio got stronger.
Richard Childress Racing: I have to put all three RCR drivers in here together because all three finished in the top 10. Kevin Harvick, in particular, had an excellent day. He started 24th and finished sixth, and moved up five spots in the Chase standings. He even led a lap during a round of green flag pit stops. Clint Bowyer finished eighth, he led two laps, and spent 302 of the 400 laps in the top 10. Jeff Burton finished ninth, after starting in 21st position.
Jeff Gordon: he started on the pole and led the first 30 laps of the race. He didn't lead after that, but didn't fade too far, either. Spent most of the race in the top 10, finishing seventh.
Honorable Mention: Tony Stewart, Dave Blaney, Ryan Newman, Bobby Labonte.
THE BAD
Kyle Busch: as the last-place finisher, he gets this dubious place. Although he was in the top 10 for much of the first half of the race, his engine gave up the ghost not even halfway into the race. Combine that with his bad finish at Loudon last week, and he's got over an entire race to make up. To make up nearly 300 points with eight races to go, and the way Carl Edwards is running, it's going to be next to impossible.
Robby Gordon: bad Robby--taking out a guy in Jamie McMurray that could have contended for the win. No wonder he was so pissed off at you by parking directly in front of you, then taking off. Good for him!
Sam Hornish, Jr.: he couldn't seem to stay out of the way. He was involved in TWO crashes. At least he didn't take out any of the front runners like Robby Gordon.
Joe Nemechek: another race, another wreck. What else is new?
Denny Hamlin: mechanical issues sidelined him for a number of laps. When he eventually returned to the track, he was multiple laps down, eventually finishing 38th.
THE UGLY
Kyle Busch/Denny Hamlin: engine and mechanical issues put a severe dent in their championship hopes. While Hamlin was able to return, and actually gain a few positions through attrition, Busch finished dead last.
Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: his car was bad from the drop of the green flag. No matter what his crew tried to do to make it better, it got worse. He brought out a caution shortly after he was lapped. What made it worse was that HE brought out the caution and didn't get the free pass.
Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Ed Hochuli's whistle, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
New York Giants: they thoroughly dominated a hapless St. Louis Rams. Good teams are supposed to dominate teams like the Rams, and the Giants did so. DE Justin Tuck's Pick Six Special was particularly impressive.
Tennessee Titans: boy, was I ever wrong about this team! The Titans' defense stuffed the Bengals' offense like a Thanksgiving turkey. To hold Carson Palmer to 134 yards passing is especially impressive. Great job by the Titans' defense.
Buffalo Bills: another team I was wrong about. To go into Jacksonville and beat a Jaguars team many thought could reach the Super Bowl, awesome. Trent Edwards was stellar, completing 20 of 25 for 239 yards and a TD.
Green Bay Packers: they ran and passed on the Lions at will, to the tune of 447 total yards and 48 points. Aaron Rodgers continues to prove that the Packers' brass made the right decision, completing 24 of 38 for 328 yards and 3 TDs.
Carolina Panthers: I put them in this category because of their comeback from a 17-3 deficit to win 20-17. Jonathan Stewart continues to impress, scoring twice, the last one coming with less than 4 minutes left in the game. The Panthers' defense rose to the occasion in the second half, stuffing Aaron McKie on a fourth and short to seal the deal.
Dallas Cowboys: they took advantage of two gigantic plays: a 72-yard TD pass from Tony Romo to Terrell Owens, and a 98-yard kickoff return from Felix Jones, both in the first half. While the Eagles moved the ball up and down the field, the Cowboys' defense stiffened up when it mattered. DeMarcus Ware showed why he's an All-Pro, not giving up on the play and sacking Donovan McNabb on the Eagles' final possession. They join the Giants, Panthers, Packers, and Cardinals as 2-0 teams in the NFC.
Washington Redskins: they beat a (battered) New Orleans Saints team many (myself included) predicted to reach the Super Bowl. Jason Campbell picked apart the Saints' defense to the sweet, jazzy tune of 24 of 36 for 321 yards and a late 67-yard bomb to Santana Moss that provided the winning margin.
Oakland Raiders: Darren McFadden broke out in a HUGE way. Subbing for the injured Justin Fargas, McFadden rushed for 164 yards on 21 carries and a TD. He also broke off a 50-yard run. They thoroughly dominated the hapless Chiefs in Arrowhead, rushing for 300 yards as a team.
Honorable Mention: Indianapolis Colts, San Francisco 49ers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is GOD-AWFUL bad. They will be LUCKY to win 2 games this season. In fact, they will be competing for the first overall selection in the 2009 draft. They have become the Clippers of the NFL.
Kansas City Chiefs: another awful team, though not as bad as the Rams. Losing at home and getting dominated will get you in this category every single time.
Seattle Seahawks: how could you dominate a team like San Francisco, yet let the game get away from you? And at home, no less? Losing to the 49ers at home gets you in this category every single time.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is HORRID. No wonder they have Halloween colors; watching this team is a horror show in itself. They will be competing with the Rams for the #1 overall selection in the 2009 draft.
THE UGLY
Pittsburgh at Cleveland: this was a Sunday Night Snoozefest. Missed passes. Dropped balls. A lack of execution by both teams. Granted, it was very windy because of the remnants of Hurricane Ike, but you're pros, you should adapt to the conditions. Either both defenses played stellar, or both offenses were sloppy. I'll bank on the latter. Pittsburgh's defense played better, with Troy Polamalu picking off a Derek Anderson pass to stop a Cleveland drive. Aside from Big Ben's 31-yard TD pass to Hines Ward, he was pedestrian.
Oakland at Kansas City: this was a game between two teams that are biding their time until they set up tee times after Week 17. Another yawnfest.
Ed Hochuli: I have to put him in here because he BLEW three calls, ALL of them shafting the Chargers. He was subsequently graded down by the NFL office.
Those are my nominees for Week 2. Feel free to come in with yours!
It's that time of week again, sports fans. Time to call out the object of your ire that has gotten you upset for good reason. It can be a player, team, coach, owner, official, league exec, or fans of another team by throwing them under the Bus. The lovely young lady will take your requests and call out their names. Then they will be thrown under that Bus. I have a few this week.
NFL
Kansas City Chiefs: what kind of effort was that? To lose to the Raiders 23-8, and at home, no less? I thought the Raiders were bad, but this team is THE worst in the NFL. Time for Clark Hunt to blow this team up and start over. In the meantime, the Chiefs get thrown under the Bus. NO ONE is exempt this week.
Ed Hochuli: he blew not one, not two, but THREE calls that cost the Chargers. He's usually one of the best referees in the business, but he was clearly not on his A game. Particuarly galling was the "fumble" that he ruled an incomplete pass when Jay Cutler CLEARLY fumbled it and San Diego recovered. That cost the Chargers the game, as all they would have had to do was kneel down. You're my favorite referee, but because you cost a team a game, I've gotta throw you Under The Bus.
NASCAR
Michael McDowell: he couldn't seem to stay out of the way. In particular, he couldn't stay out of AJ Allmendinger's way. He dumped Allmendinger into the wall as Allmendinger was struggling to stay in the top 35 in owners' points. IMO, he's becoming a dirty racer, and payback will come at some point. In the meantime, I'll give the keys of the Bus to Allmendinger so he can put McDowell in the wall as payback.
That's all I have for this week. I'll turn it over to the fans to submit their objects of their ire.
This week, the Crappafoni Pictures crew serves you up, New England-style, this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, served with a heaping helping of New England Clam Chowder. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Greg Biffle: as the race winner, he automatically gets first billing. It was appropriate that a Roush Fenway driver won this race on the Fenway Group's "home turf."
Jimmie Johnson: although he didn't quite have enough to overtake Biffle, he was still very strong and served notice he's not giving up the championship without a fight.
Carl Edwards: like Johnson, Cousin Carl served notice that he's hungry to win a championship. When does his
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