New England Patriots: this team will have a stranglehold on this division for the foreseeable future. As long as Tom Brady is under center, the Patriots will be a Super Bowl contender. While I don't think they'll put up epic numbers like they did last year, they'll still put up huge numbers. There are questions on defense, particularly in the secondary. They did sign Deltha O'Neal, and he gives them a veteran presence in the secondary. I think they'll fall off slightly, but they'll still treat this division as their own fiefdom. Predicted record: 13-3, division champions (#2 seed).
New York Jets: Brett Favre has brought an excitement to this franchise that has not been seen in a long time. He has a solid RB behind him in Thomas Jones, above-average WRs in Jerricho Cotchery and Lavernaues Coles. The O-line is improved. The defense has the proper pieces in place. Kris Jenkins should be more than adequate as NT. OLB Calvin Pace should flourish in the 3-4. They could contend for a wild card spot. Not only could they contend, they will get a wild card spot. Predicted record: 10-6 (wild card #6 seed).
Buffalo Bills: Jason Peters' holdout is turning VERY ugly VERY fast. His replacement, Langston Walker, went down with an arm injury, giving Peters leverage in his holdout. Don't be surprised if he sits out the season. The Bills have picked up where they left off: getting injured. If not for this giant distraction (no pun intended), I would consider the Bills as a playoff contender. Peters' holdout will hurt the Bills both now and in the long run. This came at the worst time, when this young team was starting to gell. No playoffs, at least not this year. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Miami Dolphins: the acquisition of Chad Pennington and the reemergence of the Ricky Williams of 2002 has Phin phans optimistic. Certainly they will be a lot better than last year. Pennington will be a good mentor to Chad Henne. Jake Long will be a franchise LT for the next decade or so. The defense is a good mixture of youngsters and veterans. While a break-even record is asking a bit much, they won't be too far behind that. Predicted record: 6-10 (no playoffs).
AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts: I've gotta go with them until Jacksonville (or another division team) beats them out. We know about Peyton Manning. We know about that defense. We know about Adam Vinatieri. Manning won't let them lose the division. Predicted record: 12-4 (division champion, #3 seed).
Jacksonville Jaguars: too bad they weren't in the NFC South; they'd be the #1 or #2 seed. But alas, they have to contend with Indy. David Garrard is a winner, pure and simple. He's won in the postseason. Can the Jags take the next step? It wouldn't surprise me. The defense is stout as usual. Pencil them in for the playoffs. Predicted record: 11-5 (wild card, #5 seed).
Houston Texans: this is the year they climb out of the division cellar. Matt Schaub is healthy, and he's got something to prove. Ahman Green is an old warhorse, but when healthy, is still very productive. Steve Slaton brings an added dimension to the running game. Defensively, they need to develop a better pass rush. That is the one area of the defense that will keep them from making the playoffs. However, they will break even. Predicted record: 8-8 (no playoffs).
Tennessee Titans: this team is an enigma. One moment Vince Young is poised to join the elite, next moment he plays like a raw rookie. I'm not sold on them. While their defense is still solid, questions about on offense. They take a step back this season. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to call out the object of your ire by throwing them under the Bus. Remember, the object of your ire can be a player, coach, fans, league, commissioner, sports executive, columnist, or even your fellow bloggers. You can call out their stupidity and general all-around dumb@$$ery here.
NFL
Ricardo Colclough, DB, Carolina Panthers: he was arrested for DWI on Saturday, hours before the Panthers were to make their final cuts. This doesn’t help. If you want to have a future in the NFL, you better learn to stay down during the season. In the meantime, you earn a tread-tasting trip under the Bus. UPDATE: Colclough has been released by the Panthers a few hours after his arrest. Ya think?
Derrick Martin, CB, Baltimore Ravens: the NFL suspended him for the season opener against the Cincinnati Bengals. He was cited and charged in July for possession of three small bags of the hippie lettuce at the Cleveland airport during a random TSA screening. What the HELL are you doing transporting small bags of the chronic at an airport? Apparently this genius thought he wasn’t going to be searched. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And for that, Martin gets to taste some tread as he gets thrown under the Bus.
Jesse Chatman, RB, New York Jets: he was suspended for four games for violating the NFL’s steroids and substance abuse policy. While he’s been good in the locker room and in practice, rules are rules. He was out of football in 2006, and came back in 2007 with Miami. He’ll have his roster spot when he returns in Week 5. But for now, Chatman gets thrown under the Bus.
Fred Taylor, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars: he was arrested outside a Miami Beach nightclub early Saturday for disorderly conduct. With the season about to begin, what was he doing at a nightclub? Save that for AFTER the season. And remember, nothing good happens after 2 AM, unless you’re getting lucky and doing the Dirty Sanchez with some hottie. What makes it hard is that he’s been a solid character guy, good in the locker room and in the community. But as painful as it is, I have to throw Taylor under the Bus.
Rocky Bernard and Jordan Babineaux, Seattle Seahawks: these two geniuses were suspended for Seattle's Week 1 game at Buffalo. Bernard for violation of the team's personal conduct policy stemming from his allegedly assaulting his ex-girlfriend. Babineaux was suspended for violation of the league's substance abuse policy. In addition to the $35,000 fine, Babineaux is also docked a game check. These two characters get to taste some tread as they get thrown Under The Bus.
MLB
Pittsburgh Pirates: or more specifically, their official scorer. This guy denied the Milwaukee Brewers' CC Sabathia a no-hitter. Sabathia fielded a slow roller by the Pirates' Andy LaRoche and booted it. Sure error, right? NO, it was ruled an INFIELD SINGLE!! If Sabathia fields it cleanly, LaRoche is out from PNC Park to Fox Chapel (a tony Pittsburgh suburb). It wasn't like it was a ban.g-ban.g play. The Pirates' official scorer gets thrown Under The Bus for denying Sabathia a much sought-after no-hitter.
Los Angeles Dodgers: this team went into the tank before rallying against the Diamondbacks' two best pitchers: Dan Haren and Brandon Webb. Getting swept by the Phillies is one thing; getting swept by the weak-#### Washington Nationals will get you thrown under the Bus every single time.
Youth Baseball League of New Haven, CT: this spineless league banned a 9-year-old pitcher named Jericho Scott because he’s too good. He's good, and it irks you to no end because your self-esteem is threatened. This young kid throws 40 MPH, which is roughly equivalent to a high school senior throwing 90-95 MPH with pinpoint control. Whatever happened to celebrating achievement? League and parents, you broke the spirit of a kid. I don’t know how you can sleep at night knowing you broke the spirit of a 9-year-old boy. You have that attitude of being the experts on all things racial. Could it be possible you banned him because of his *race*? (Jericho Scott is African-American) WELL, YOU'RE NOT. I SPIT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE CONTEMPTIBLE. THEN I THROW THE SPINELESS PARENTS AND THE LEAGUE UNDER THE BUS. Parents, I hope you get what’s coming to you. And I hope Jericho Scott overcomes this obstacle to become a Major League pitcher.
NASCAR
NASCAR: for instituting a six-race probation for both Carl Edwards and Kyle Busch for their little dust-up after the Bristol race. NASCAR is forever stressing they want to return to its roots. Putting Edwards and Busch on probation is just stupid. Are they trying to neuter its drivers? I think so. NASCAR itself gets thrown under the Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!
P.S. The young lady wasn't available this week; perhaps next week.
The Carolina Panthers finished 7-9 in 2007. Obviously not good enough to make the playoffs. In order to remedy that, they needed to make the moves to reestablish themselves as playoff contenders. I will rate their moves by Good, Bad, and Ugly.
GOOD MOVES:
Resigning Travelle Wharton. This is important, as he is still relatively young and can play several positions on the offensive line. He will most likely be moved to left guard, replacing Mike Wahle, released by the team.
Bringing back Muhsin Muhammad. He is Mr. Reliable. While he doesn't have the speed he once had in his first stint with the Panthers, he still has good hands and is still a physical presence. Plus, he'll be a mentor to the young receivers, who can learn from him.
Trading Kris Jenkins. He no longer wanted to be with the Panthers, so the parting was mutual. While I wish him the best with the Jets, to get a third and fifth rounder for him is huge.
Resisting the temptation to go after the big names. Sometimes the best moves are the ones that are not made, such as not signing Alge Crumpler. The Panthers already have two good TEs in Jeff King and Dante Rosario, who shows big-play capability.
BAD MOVES
Signing Ricardo Colclough. Perhaps the Panthers signed him to be a special teams stud. I'm scratching my head. I hope that this works out. He's been ####ed up much of his career. I wouldn't consider this bad so much as more of a head-scratcher.
UGLY MOVES
None that I can think of.
OVERALL
I think the Panthers are playing it close to the vest. Perhaps they are intent on signing second-tier players that will fill a role. Perhaps they are looking at drafting a power RB such as Jonathan Stewart of Oregon with the 13th overall selection of the NFL draft. IF they can have a great draft like the Giants did last year, good things are in store for the Cats.
Around the world of the NFL faster than Andre Davis taking not one, but TWO kickoff returns to The House, Crappafoni Pictures presents, spaghetti western style, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Week 17.
THE GOOD
New England Patriots: what more can be said? Perfection. 16-0. And the way they beat the Giants is the stuff legends are made of. Tom Brady got sharper as the game went on. But the playoffs are a totally different animal. The Pats better be prepared to win when they score in the teens.
Carolina Panthers: as has been a recent tradition under John Fox, the Cats went out and won their last game of the season on the road. Matt Moore was efficient, throwing for 174 yards and 2 TDs. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 121 yards and a TD. Granted, Tampa Bay was resting its starters after the first half of the game, but a win is a win, and the Cats will take it.
Washington Redskins: was that a DOMINATING defensive performance, or WHAT? The Skins defense held the Cowboys to one yard rushing. FOR THE GAME. Watching the game, I could sense the late Sean Taylor encouraging his mates; they played very inspired ball, particularly on defense. I saw the Redskins' D-line pushing the Cowboys' O-line around all game long. Now they're on to Seattle, and I think it's a very winnable game for the Redskins.
Green Bay Packers: they put an ####-kicking on the Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLLLions, plain and simple. They seemed to shake the hangover of the loss to the Bears from their systems.
Tennessee Titans: they got it done, on the road, in a hostile environment, minus Vince Young for the last third of the game. Granted, it was against the Colts' second and third string, but a win is a win in the NFL. Kerry Collins was sharp, keeping the chains moving, and extending drives. Now they're on to San Diego next weekend.
Atlanta Falcons: one of the rare times this season I've put them in the Good category. They did beat a playoff team, and scoreboard is everything in the NFL.
Houston Texans: or more specifically, Andre Davis. He returned two kickoffs to The House in a 42-28 win over Jacksonville. The Texans finished 8-8 for the first time in franchise history. The AFC South is the only division to have all four of its teams finish .500 or better.
THE BAD
Dallas Cowboys: one of the REALLY rare times (maybe the ONLY time this season) I've put them in the Bad category. They proceeded to set a franchise low for yards rushing in a game: ONE yard. Thirty-six inches. Three feet. That broke the previous low of seven yards set in 1998 against New Orleans. Tony Romo was not sharp. The Redskins' defense had a lot to do with that. The Cowboys' O-line was pushed around by the stout Redskins' D-line all game long.
St. Louis Rams: I know you wanted the season to end, but I didn't realize how desperate you were to finish it. They threw in the towel and were ready for their tee times. Now you're picking second overall.
Miami Dolphins: you were watching the back of Chad Johnson all game long as he was blowing by you. Ocho Cinco took a short pass and took it to The House from 70 yards away. You couldn't WAIT for the season to end; it couldn't end soon enough. Now comes the inevitable purging by The Big Tuna, Bill Parcells.
Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLLions: you, too, couldn't wait for the season to end. Ford Field will be a ghost town come tomorrow as the players can't leave fast enough. Many of them will be attending their alma maters' bowl games. Others will be taking a much-needed vacation. Still several others have played their last game in a LLLLLLLLLions' uniform, as they will either be released or leave via free agency.
THE UGLY
Kansas City at N.Y. Jets: this epic battle of bad teams was compounded by this game going into overtime. What, did neither team WANT to win?
Buffalo at Philadelphia: a 17-9 yawnfest played in rainy, chilly weather. It would be one thing if both teams were in the playoffs. But neither team is in the playoffs.
Around the world of the NFL faster than an Ahmad Bradshaw 88-yard TD run in the snow at Buffalo, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's vignette of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Pittsburgh Steelers: they made some big plays, particularly early in the game. They found a complement to Fast Willie Parker in Najeh Davenport. Ike Taylor had a Pick Six Special late in the game that sealed the win.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they thoroughly dominated an overmatched Raiders team. On the ground, in the air--it didn't matter. With a playoff berth on the line, they were going to get it done right, and they did.
Cincinnati Bengals: or more specifically, their defense. They picked off Derek Anderson four times, leading to three TDs, including two TDs within the last two minutes of the first half. Then the defense withstood a furious Browns rally.
Philadelphia Eagles: they put the Saints' playoff hopes on life support with their huge win in New Orleans. Donovan McNabb came up huge, including a 40-yard run to set up a score. McNabb also threw for 3 TDs.
New York Giants: they withstood a 14-0 deficit in the first quarter and dominated from that point on, outscoring the Bills 38-7. Both Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs rushed for over 145 yards. Bradshaw ripped off the NFL's longest run of the season, 88 yards for a TD in a driving snowstorm.
San Francisco 49ers: their game against Tampa Bay was one of the hardest hitting, most physical games in recent memory. They stared into the eyes of the Big Bad Bucs and didn't flinch. It was good old-fashioned, old-school smash mouth football. In the end, the Niners executed enough to pull out the win. Patrick Willis was the Stud of the Game, registering 20 tackles, two sacks, and a forced fumble.
Chicago Bears: it looked like THEY were the #2 seeded team in the NFC and the Packers were the cellar dwellers. The Bears' special teams blocked two punts and forced a 9-yard punt. Brian Urlacher returned a Pick Six Special for the first time in his career.
Washington Redskins: in a game they HAD to have, they put forth a great team effort and got it done. Todd Collins was sharp, Clinton Portis ran and passed all over the Vikings' defense, rushing and passing for a TD. Now with a win over the Cowboys next week, they're in the playoffs.
New England Patriots: it looked like they were going to run and hide from the Dolphins, leading 28-0 at halftime. The Fins actually outscored the Pats in the second half, holding the Pats scoreless. Laurence Maroney rushed for a career high 156 yards on just 14 carries.
THE BAD
Oakland Raiders: after that effort against the Jaguars. They were outplayed in every facet of the game. The Jags made the Raiders look like the bad team that they are.
Baltimore Ravens: are they the worst team in the NFL, or what? I think they're worse than the Dolphins, and that's saying something.
Green Bay Packers: sure, you're the second-best team in the NFC. Could have fooled me. You played like the second-WORST team in the NFC. That was ca-ca.
THE UGLY
N.Y. Jets at Tennessee: 16 total points between the teams. It seemed like neither team wanted to win. From Tennessee's perspective, style points aren't rewarded in the NFL; just wins and losses. The Titans' win means they control their own destiny. Win, and they're in.
Atlanta at Arizona: this was a matchup from hell. A bad team against another bad team. Depending on your perspective it was either a shootout or just bad defenses. I tend to lean towards the latter.
Those are my nominations. Feel free to opine with your nominations.
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Will Blackmon returns for TDs, Crappafoni Pictures presents for you the fan, in living color, the NFL version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Green Bay Packers: they dismantled the Oakland Raiders in every aspect of the game. Will Blackmon was the special teams stud, returning a punt and a fumble for a touchdown. Blackmon became the first player since 1974 and only the fourth in NFL history to return a punt and fumble for a touchdown in the same game. The Pack amassed 445 total yards for the game and dominated the game from start to finish.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they were dominant in beating a Panthers team that basically gave up from the second quarter on. More on that later.
Dallas Cowboys' final drive: the 'Boys were lucky when Paris Lenon kicked the ball to Andre Gurode. If Lenon just falls on the ball, Detroit wins and gets put in the Good category. Lenon's colossal mistake gave Tony Romo new life, and he took advantage of it.
New England Patriots: way to shut up Anthony Smith! Tom Brady is now within a few TD passes of breaking Peyton Manning's single season record of 49. They went so far ahead of Pittsburgh that the Steelers became a one-dimensional team.
Seattle Seahawks: they looked sharp in dismantling Arizona. With five picks, the defense made several big plays, nothing bigger than in the third quarter after Arizona recovered an onside kick. They will be formidable in the postseason, regardless of where they play.
Indianapolis Colts: they are making this game look too easy. The first quarter isn't even over and they're winning 21-0 against the Ravens.
Houston Texans: simply put, they administered a beatdown to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For some inexplicable reason, they do well against NFC teams.
Denver Broncos: I couldn't forget the Broncos' thrashing of Kansas City. They outgained the Chiefs 453 to 129. The Broncos rushed for 215 yards. They led in time of possession by nearly 10 minutes. They forced three turnovers and didn't commit a turnover. A complete game like that will get you in the Good category every single time.
THE BAD
Carolina Panthers: this may have been one of the worst games the franchise has ever played. They were outgained in total yards 457 to 149. The Jags had the ball nearly twice as long as the Kittens. They were so ineffective that Vinny Testaverde was pulled for Matt Moore. This is a team that gave up in the second quarter. I'd have granted that they would probably lose, but I expected a better effort than this!!
San Francisco 49ers: granted, they did lose to the Vikings, a playoff-caliber team. But they were THRASHED. And on their home turf, no less. FIVE turnovers?? Trent Dilfer was knocked woozy by a Vikings' defense that forced those five turnovers.
Miami Dolphins: 0-13 and counting. Three more and you make history in reverse!! Buffalo just did you again. And with games against New England, Baltimore, and Cincinnati, you just might do it.
THE UGLY
Kansas City Chiefs: this is one of those bad games that you just forget about and go on. Every team has one of those, except New England. I can imagine that the Kansas City Film Festival will supply the filmgoers with PLENTY of Maalox and Pepto-Bismol.
Pittsburgh Steelers: it started with Mr. Motormouth, Anthony Smith, guaranteeing a Steelers victory. Son, don't write checks with your mouth that your #### can't cash. There were several breakdowns in the secondary in this game.
Cleveland at N.Y. Jets: it seemed like the Browns wanted to let the Jets win this game. The Jets hung in this game FAR TOO LONG. The Browns should have won by AT LEAST TWO TDs. Cleveland was fortunate to escape with a win.
Carolina Panthers: see Bad category.
Those are my nominations for Week 14. Your nominations are appreciated. Thanks for reading and responding.
Around the world of the NFL faster than a Richard MarshallPick Six Special, Crappafoni Pictures brings you the fan, in living color, the NFL's version of the spaghetti western, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. And away we go!!
THE GOOD
Carolina Panthers: it's been a LONG time since I've been able to put the Cats in the Good category. For the first time all season, the defense showed up and BALLED. Coming into the game, the Panthers forced only 10 turnovers. Today, they forced SIX turnovers, including the Pick Six Special that turned the game around. The defense harassed Trent Dilfer and the 49ers all game long, causing four picks and recovering two fumbles. Throw in six sacks, and you have a complete game by the Panthers' defense.
Oakland Raiders: for beating their archnemesis, the Denver Broncos. Justin Fargas was once again the star, rushing for 146 yards on 33 carries. The Raiders as a team rushed for 175 yards. This game also marked the NFL debut of the first pick in the draft, JaMarcus Russell. He was 4 of 7 for 56 yards. Simply put, they put a good old-fashioned beatdown on the Broncos.
Dallas Cowboys: even though this game was played last Thursday, they are in this category because they are the best team in the NFC. Tony Romo was stellar again, throwing 4 TD passes. Terrell Owens was superb, grabbing 7 of Romo's passes for 156 yards and a TD. They did what they had to do to win. Now they have the inside track for home field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. At 11-1, the Cowboys are off to the best start in the franchise's storied history.
Minnesota Vikings: don't look now, but they are one of the hottest teams in the NFC right now. The two-headed beast of Chester Taylor and Adrian Peterson is clicking on all cylinders. The Vikings have the inside track to the playoffs right now. They would be a #6 seed if the season ended today. Another bright spot was rookie Aundray Allison. Allison, filling in for an injured Troy Williamson, set a Vikings' franchise record with a 103-yard kickoff return for a TD.
Seattle Seahawks: this was a HUGE win for the Hawks. Any time you can beat the Eagles IN Philly, you'll be put into the Good category. The Hawks' defense rose to the occasion, picking off A.J. Feeley four times, three by Lofa Tatupu. Tatupu was all over the field, amassing 11 tackles in addition to the three picks. Good win by the Hawks. This puts them in the driver's seat in the NFC West.
THE BAD
San Francisco 49ers: simply put, they played WORSE than the Dolphins, and that's saying something. Dilfer had the game from hell, Frank Gore was MIA, and the Niners' "skill" players had a severe case of the dropsies. Patriots Nation was rooting HARD for the Panthers. (The Patriots have the Niners' first round draft pick in next year's draft, and they'll probably draft Darren McFadden, rendering them unbeatable for the next decade. Imagine McFadden behind the Pats' O-line--I can see him becoming the NFL's first 300-yard rusher in a single game)
Miami Dolphins: the streak is alive! Zero and 12 and counting! They could well become the first team in history to lose 16 straight games in the regular season. At least you'll have Glenn Dorsey next year.
Detroit Lions: what kind of effort was that? Kiss your playoff aspirations bye-bye. I'm convinced that unless the Ford family sells the team, the Lions will continue to foster the culture of losing.
Atlanta Falcons: or more specifically, Joey Harrington. Harrington was pulled for Chris *(*#@&*(*^@ Redman. Being pulled for Redman will get you in the Bad category every single time. Joey, take comfort in the fact that you weren't pulled for a QB with NO experience, like last week, when David Carr was pulled for Matt Moore.
THE UGLY
New York Jets at Miami Dolphins: this game is the only reason San Francisco at Carolina wasn't included in the Ugly category. As one who lives on the West Coast, I'm glad I wasn't subject to this game. The Jets got their third win of the season at the expense of the hapless Dolphins.
Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers: it was a sloppy game, the weather and the turf being great equalizers. At the same time, it was old-school football, lining 'em up and smashing them in the mouth.
Those are my nominations! Your nominations are more than welcome.
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Antrel Rolle Pick Six Specials, Crappafoni Pictures presents, in living color, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
THE GOOD
Arizona Cardinals: granted, they DID beat the Bungles, errrrrr, Bengals, but this team looked sharp. As stated above in the opening, Antrel Rolle had two Pick Six Specials in the game. Kurt Warner looked sharp again. Is this 2007, or 1999? Warner is playing like it WAS 1999.
New England Patriots: they are making it look too easy. They are NOT running up the score tonight; in fact, they're making every effort to call off the dogs. They're just too good right now. Even their defense is scoring TDs, as evidenced by Ellis Hobbs' 35-yard fumble return. Can New England run the table? I think they can.
New York Jets: beating one of the league's better teams will get you in the Good column every single time. They whipped the Steelers in the special teams aspect; in fact, a Leon Washington return set up the winning FG in OT.
Green Bay Packers: they are clicking on all cylinders now, and now they have discovered a running game. They beat an outmanned Panthers team minus Steve Smith (on a good note for the Panthers, they have discovered a #2 receiver in Dwayne Jarrett). Brett Favre is probably having the best season of his illustrious and stellar career. He has young studs that he can throw to, and young studs that can tote the rock, and young studs up front to protect him. This team is going to be an elite team for the next 3-5 years.
Dallas Cowboys: Tony Romo has been playing much better since his contract extension. He proved it by throwing for four TDs to Terrell Owens. Speaking of Owens, he's been a MUCH happier guy since Romo has become the Cowboys' starting QB. And the Cowboys have become a much better team since RomoCop took the helm.
Jacksonville Jaguars: or more specifically, Maurice Jones-Drew. I put him in here because he LIT UP Shawne Merriman on a blitz. He decleated Merriman; that allowed David Garrard to throw a TD pass.
Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens: this was one of the most bizarre, wackiest, and best games you'll ever see. Joshua Cribbs accounted for OVER 300 return yards, the first time that's happened in 34 years. But it was the 52-yard FG at the end of regulation that has people talking. That's going to be talked about as one of the most bizarre plays in NFL history. And it just may be the impetus to send Cleveland to the playoffs this season.
THE BAD
Pittsburgh Steelers: you lost to the J!E!T!S! SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!? What the HELL was that?? And just when you were going to become permanent residents of Goodville, you toss in this rotten egg!!
San Francisco 49ers: NO TDs in the last two-plus games? The 2000 Ravens offense thinks you're pathetic. The St. Louis Rams made some big plays on defense to get this win.
Miami Dolphins: still NO wins! You'll be in this column from here until you get your first win, which will be sometime next season. Granted, John Beck made his first start against a tough Eagles' defense. Unfortunately for the Dolphins, they only have one winnable game, against the Jets.
THE UGLY
Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks: last year or two years ago, this was a great matchup. Now it's between a bad team and mediocre team. It seemed like neither team wanted it that bad. Yecccccch!
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts: 13-10? It was an ugly win, but in the NFL, you don't get style points. Indy won, bottom line.
Even though there were four teams that had byes (Carolina, Cleveland, Green Bay, and San Diego), there were PLENTY of individuals and/or teams and/or coaches and/or fans that one can throw under the Bus (The Jerome Bettis Limited edition that has 800 hp). I'll give you a few of my nominees:
New York Jets: or more specifically, Eric Mangini. He is TOO loyal to Chad Pennington. Pennington's best days are behind him. It's time to go with the young stud with the HUGE arm, Kellen Clemens.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: you've been doing a LOT of squawking about how good you are. If you were that good, you'd have beaten the Lions by two TDs. While the Lions are an improved team, they are NOT among the elite of the league. Now you're a half-game behind the Panthers (Ha ha!!). Under the Bus you go!!
San Francisco 49ers: FOUR turnovers in the game. Bad, bad 49ers. Under the Bus you go!!!
Oakland Raiders: this is for rushing for 55 yards FOR THE GAME. As a TEAM. You're not going to win very many games by rushing for 55 yards. Under the Bus you go!!
Those are my nominees! Come on in with your nominees!!
Crappafoni Pictures takes you around the world of the NFL faster than the participants in The World's Greatest Race. Here we go!!
THE GOOD
New England Patriots: granted, they did play the Miami Dolphins. But throwing for 6 TD passes like Tom Brady did today was freaking incredible! It was like playing Madden 08. At this pace, Brady will obliterate the single season record currently held by Peyton Manning. Brady is on pace for 60 TD passes.
New York Giants: while Eli Manning was efficient and is getting better each week, the G-men's defense was swarming. They forced the 49ers into four turnovers. Michael Strahan was a beast with 2.5 sacks, Osi Umenyiora scored on a fumble return and had a sack, and Brandon Jacobs rushed for a career-high 107 yards and a TD.
Tennessee Titans: or more specifically, Rob Bironas. Bironas kicked 8 FGs, setting an NFL single-game record. The record setter came as time expired, lifting the Titans to a thrilling win over the host Houston Texans. Lost in all that was that Kerry Collins was nails on that final drive to set up Bironas' record breaker.
Dallas Cowboys: they dominated the Vikings in every single aspect of the game but needed a TD return of a blocked FG to put away the pesky Vikings. Tony Romo was superb, going 31 for 39 for 277 yards and a TD. Marion Barber rushed for 96 yards and a TD in the 24-14 win.
Cincinnati Bengals: if not for Kenny Watson's strong effort (31 carries, 130 yards, 3 TDs), the Bengals would have been put in either the Bad or Ugly category. Watson was the stud of the game. They should have beaten a putrid Jets team by at least 2 TDs. More on the Jets later.
Chicago Bears: the win today over Philadelphia may have salvaged their season. In the event a tiebreaker comes into play with the Eagles, the Bears have the advantage. Brian Griese coolly engineered the clinching drive, throwing a TD pass to Muhsin Muhammad with 9 seconds left in the game. The TD pass capped a 97-yard drive. While the Bears still need help in the ground game, Griese gives them a better chance to win.
New Orleans Saints: it looks like they are breaking out of their season-long funk. They won a close game they had to win. While Reggie Bush wasn't spectacular, his TD late in the game was one of pure determination. He caught a short swing pass and bulled over three Atlanta Falcons defenders for the winning TD with less than 5 minutes remaining in the game.
Denver Broncos: they played inspired football in beating a tough Pittsburgh Steelers team. The Steelers' comeback fell short, as Jason Elam kicked a 49-yard FG as time expired. Jay Cutler made the big passes when he needed to. He was 22 of 29 for 248 yards and 3 TDs and 2 INTs.
Kansas City Chiefs: this team has surprised me. I had picked them to be one of the worst teams in the league in the preseason. They are now 4-3. Another good: Priest Holmes returned to the lineup after missing nearly two seasons with head and neck injuries. Combine Holmes and L.J. and this team could possibly make the playoffs.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: 0-7. Enough said.
Miami Dolphins: see above.
New York Jets: this is an absolutely putrid team. If not for the Rams and Dolphins, they would be the worst team in the league. They had opportunities to beat the Bengals and let them slip away. Let the Kellen Clemens era begin. How could a team that was a playoff team last season sink to such depths of ineptitude?
Baltimore Ravens: how could a team that says its a playoff team lose to a one-win team going into the day? Simple: you don't make the plays you need to and the now two-win team makes those same plays.
THE UGLY
Arizona at Washington: the Redskins had a two TD lead and very nearly gave it all back. Credit Arizona for making a furious comeback that fell wide left. The Redskins very nearly sel####estructed. Jason Campbell played like a rookie starting his first NFL game. After playing well much of the season, he played very poorly today.
San Francisco 49ers: Yikes! FOUR turnovers leading to 24 NY Giants points? You're not going to win playing like that! Four turnovers will give any hard-core football fan indigestion. Definitely not a game for the ages.
Oakland Raiders: while their defense kept them in this game, the offense sputtered yet again. Aside from their only TD, the offense didn't show up. What happened to the Raiders' ground game? Fifty-five yards for the game will not win you many games.
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THE GOOD
Minnesota Vikings: they lit up the Chicago Bears’ defense to the tune of 444 yards of total offense. Adrian Peterson gashed the Bears for 224 yards on 20 carries and three touchdowns, including two of over 60 yards. Having a stud RB like Peterson doesn’t suck if you’re a young QB.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they played a turnover-free game. Maurice Jones-Drew had another superb game, rushing for 125 yards on 12 carries and two touchdowns. He also added four receptions for 59 yards. David Garrard was sharp, going 22 of 34 for 221 yards and two touchdowns.
Cleveland Browns: granted, their opponent was the Miami Dolphins. They did beat an opponent they SHOULD have. Derek (and the Dominoes) Anderson was sharp, going 18 of 25 for 245 yards and three touchdowns, all three to Braylon Edwards. With Jamal Lewis out, it was RB by committee. The Browns rushed for 140 yards as a team.
Green Bay Packers: their defense, to be more specific. Jason Campbell was pressured all game long. Charles Woodson scored on a 57 yard fumble return that proved to be the game winner. And for good measure, he intercepted a pass.
Carolina Panthers: the defense showed up for the first time this season, picking off three passes and sacking the QB twice. Julius Peppers accounted for 1.5 sacks and two forced fumbles. What can you say about Vinny Testaverde, except he’s an old man with game? Looks like his signing is genius so far. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 121 yards and a TD and Steve Smith had by far his best day of the season, catching 10 passes for 136 and a TD. The Panthers are 4-0 on the road this season.
New England Patriots: scoreboard says it all. Best team in the NFL right now.
San Diego Chargers: after a slow start, this team is starting to hit its stride. They dominated an overmatched Raiders team.
THE BAD
Miami Dolphins: 0-6 and counting. This team is HORRIBLE. They got thrashed by an average Cleveland Browns team. This franchise is in the throes of a death spiral.
St. Louis Rams: see Miami Dolphins, except substitute Baltimore Ravens for Cleveland Browns.
Seattle Seahawks: they looked absolutely PUTRID. THIS is a playoff team? ONLY in the NFC West. I could excuse the loss to the Steelers; the Steelers are one of the NFL’s better teams. But the WINLESS Saints?? I figured the Saints would win a game soon; I didn’t figure on them winning in Seattle.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is bad on many levels. Sorry defense, lackluster offense, and poor coaching. It starts with Marvin Lewis. Once again, Lewis didn’t have his team ready to play. When will the good fans of Cincinnati start calling for his head?
Chicago Bears: this is a BAD team. Their defense is atrocious. Adrian Peterson gashed them big-time. Devin Hester was the lone bright spot, returning a punt for a TD and hauling in an 81-yard TD pass.
THE UGLY
New York Jets: NINE points against Philadelphia? While they only allowed 16 points, they ONLY scored nine! In the AFC East, it’s New England and the Three Dwarves. When will the Jets dump Chad Pennington and start Kellen Clemens?
Cincinnati at Kansas City: aside from Tony Gonzalez setting an NFL record for receptions by a tight end, it was unwatchable. Tony, we’ll see you in Canton. I watched a defensive clinic put on by Green Bay.
Houston Texans: or more specifically, their running game. They amassed 59 yards. For the game. Fifty-nine yards. That’s not going to get it done. No wonder David Carr was a piñata while he was in Houston.
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THE GOOD:
Green Bay Packers: or more specifically, Brett Favre. With his first quarter TD pass to Greg Jennings, Favre broke the NFL record for most TD passes in a career. He added another TD later in the game to add to his record. He now has 422 TD passes and counting. He also was 32 of 45 for 344 yards as the Packers ran their record to 4-0.
Oakland Raiders: they pounded out nearly 300 yards rushing against the hapless Dolphins’ defense. Daunte Culpepper ran for 3 TD’s and passed for two more. The defense was superb as well, limiting the Fins to under 300 yards in total offense for the game.
Dallas Cowboys: they ran and passed at will on the St. Louis Rams, amassing 502 yards in total offense in a 35-7 beat down. Tony Romo was superb as usual, passing for 339 yards and three TD’s, and adding a 15-yard TD run for good measure. The Cowboys’ defense limited the once-Greatest Show on Turf to 187 net yards.
Atlanta Falcons: or more specifically, Joey Harrington. Harrington played well last week in a tough loss to Carolina. This time he gets to enjoy the Falcons’ first win of the season. I’ve come around on the Falcons. I think this team is better than their record indicates. Harrington went 23 for 29 for 223 yards and two TD’s. Good job Joey.
Indianapolis Colts: although Peyton Manning had pedestrian numbers, he distributed the ball well, completing passes to eight different receivers. The Colts’ ground game gashed the Denver Broncos to the tune of 226 yards.
Arizona Cardinals: any time you beat the Pittsburgh Steelers, you deserve to be in the Good category. Enough said.
Detroit Lions: they scored 34 points in the FOURTH QUARTER, setting an NFL record for most points scored by a team in the fourth quarter. They came from 10 points down to beat the Chicago Bears 37-27.
Cleveland Browns: despite being dominated by the Ravens in every facet of the game, they found a way to win against a better team. They made enough big plays, and a 3-3 record going into their bye week is realistic.
New York Giants: or more specifically, their defense. They sacked Donovan McNabb 12 times. TWELVE TIMES! That tied an NFL record for most sacks by a team in a game. McNabb was coming off a perfect game against the Detroit Lions. Osi Umenyiora (sp?) had SIX OF THEM. That's one shy of the NFL record for a game, held by the late, great Derrick Thomas of the Kansas City Chiefs.
THE BAD:
Carolina Panthers: for a game that determined the NFC South lead, they came out flat and uninspired. They let the Tampa Bay Buccaneers run and pass all over them. This is why I included them in my Teams That Have Jumped The Shark blog yesterday. Their window is slamming shut and may have slammed shut already. They didn’t play inspired until about 3 minutes remained in the game. They FINALLY scored with less than a minute to go and avoided being shut out at home.
San Diego Chargers: how can a team that has been chirping that they’re among the NFL’s elite come out and play so crappy? They have officially jumped the shark. It’s one thing to lose to New England and Green Bay (both elite teams); it’s QUITE another to lose to Kansas City! AND in your own crib, no less!! Not only was it a loss, it was a BEAT DOWN. As a blogger, I have officially jumped the shark for picking this sorry team to go to the Super Bowl.
Chicago Bears: I knew this team was in trouble when they traded their best RB in Thomas Jones. He was Rex Grossman’s safety valve, bailing Grossman out numerous times last season. No Jones, no Grossman, no win. The defense is ####ed up and hurt, the offense sucks, and this team is rudderless. But to allow 34 points in the FOURTH QUARTER?? To a team you should have beaten in your sleep? The 34 points scored by the Lions in the fourth quarter set an NFL record for most points by a team in a fourth quarter.
THE UGLY:
St. Louis Rams: in all fairness, they are the NFL’s MASH unit. SO many players that are either out or on injured reserve. That being said, they are not a very competitive team.
New York Jets: I don’t know what to make of this team, except they’re not very good. Individually, they have players that have talent. This is a team that just last season made the playoffs as a wild card. To lose to a previously winless team IS ugly.
Baltimore Ravens: what was THAT? To allow Derek Anderson to channel Brett Favre and Tom Brady when you are one of the league’s best defenses puts you into this ignomious category. Anderson is a decent enough QB, but this is a game the Ravens should have won in their sleep. The Ravens dominated the game in EVERY facet BUT the scoreboard. Scoreboard is what matters, and the Browns have it over the Ravens.
Chime in with your nominees for The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!
This is the fifth installment of my predictions/prognostications for the 2007 NFL season. I begin the AFC side with the AFC East.
AFC EAST
New England: like San Francisco, they made a huge splash in the off-season. The Patriots acquired Randy Moss in a draft-day trade with the Raiders. They acquired via free agency super-stud DE/LB Adalius Thomas. They considerably strengthened their receiving corps. Tom Brady is itching to get back to the Super Bowl. As good as the Patriots are (on paper, at least) there ARE questions, particularly at RB. Corey Dillon was released. Laurence Maroney played hurt last season. Is he healthy enough to carry the load? If not, who will? RB is not my only question about the Patriots. Their LB corps isn’t getting any younger, and they lost an emerging star in Tully Banta-Cain to San Francisco. Still, I think they have at least one more year of playing at an elite level together. They have to be healthy at the right time for a return to the Super Bowl. Can it happen? Certainly it can happen. Will it happen? It remains to be seen. Predicted record: 11-5 (division champion).
New York Jets: they are looking to build upon their playoff appearance last season. The Jets acquired Thomas Jones in a trade from the Bears. He improves their running game and is a good character guy off the field. Their young WR corps is stepping up in mini-camps and the OTA’s. They should be even better on offense than last season. One of their most interesting acquisitions is DE Andre Wadsworth. Wadsworth hasn’t played a down in the NFL since the 2000 season, when he played for the Arizona Cardinals. Does he have some gas left in the tank, or is the tank dry? Time will tell. While their LB corps is one of the better ones in the league, I do have some questions about their overall defense. IF they were in the NFC East, they would be a lock for the division title. Too bad for Jets fans their team is in the AFC East. As long as the Killer B’s (Brady and Belichick) are residing in New England, Jets fans better get used to second-place finishes. Predicted record: 9-7 (no playoffs).
Buffalo Bills: J.P. Losman emerged in the second half of last season as a more confident, polished quarterback. Bills fan, you have your QB for the next decade. The Bills did lose Willis McGahee, and how do you replace his production? Simple—draft BOTH Marshawn #### (Lightning) AND Dwayne Wright (Thunder). Wright is a beast inside and has the ability to wear down the defense late in games. At Fresno State, Wright broke a 53 year old school single game rushing record by 45 yards. #### has the ability to make big plays from anywhere on the field. Throw in Derek Schouman and the Bills could go big, with Schouman at FB and Wright at TB. Jason Peters’ resigning was HUGE. Peters is emerging as one of the game’s premier tackles. On defense, drafting LB Paul Posluszny could be a steal. He’s tough, smart, and could be the face of that defense in the future. This could potentially be a sleeper team. But not this year. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Miami Dolphins: new coach, new offensive scheme, same old team. The Fins cut both QBs Daunte Culpepper and Joey Harrington. They traded for QB Trent Green and drafted his likely successor in John Beck. They did lose Randy McMichael to the Rams and that will hurt the passing game. Will Ronnie Brown be able to stay healthy? Defensi
