This week's version of Who Would You Throw Under The Bus? is dedicated to the brave men and women in uniform serving domestically and abroad. Without these brave men and women, this blog wouldn't exist. Kudos and mad props to all of you. There are several sports figures that have totally pissed me off this week. Therefore I am throwing the following figures under the proverbial Bus:

MLB

Shelley Duncan, New York Yankees: this guy just doesn't get it. And he probably never will. This genius scribbled, "Red Sox Suck" then signed his name after a young Red Sox fan requested his autograph. Very class act there, Shelley. And for that act that's two letters short of class, you go Under The Bus.

NASCAR

Chip Ganassi: he fired his best driver's crew chief just as Juan Pablo Montoya and Jimmy Elledge were starting to click. Is it ANY wonder NO ONE wants to drive for you? I wouldn't blame JPM one bit if he were to walk. (JPM, I'll bury the hatchet and welcome you to RCR should you end up there.) Perhaps you should devote your time to your IRL teams; that's where you reign supreme. Until then, Ganassi goes Under The Bus.

J.J. Yeley: did I miss the announcement that you hired Stevie Wonder as your spotter? WTF was that act, blasting Dale Jr. from behind? I wouldn't have blamed Dale Jr. one bit for wanting to open up the largest can of Whoop #### he can find. And why the *(*)*^ do you still have a ride? You're reckless, make questionable decisions at best, wild-a$$Ed decisions at worst. For that act, you go Under The Bus.

NHL

Gary Bettman: he has proven the Peter Principle right. He is an INCOMPETENT NHL Commissioner. Then he threatened Al Sobotka, the driver of the Zamboni at the Joe, a very stiff fine if Sobotka tossed an octopus on the ice. I hope he threw that octopus on the ice!! I'd contribute towards paying that stiff fine! For threatening a working man nearly half his salary in fines, Bettman not only gets thrown Under The Bus, but he ALSO gets thrown Under A Fleet Of Zambonis.

Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to chime in with yours!  

This is the time for you, Joe Six-Pack Sports Fan, to vent your ire at the dumbasses, retards, idiots, ingrates, and general all around bad guys of sports and throw them Under The Bus. Who do YOU want to see go Under The Bus this week? Here's the forum to throw these retards and a-holes under the Bus! I know I have a few!

MLB

Los Angeles Dodgers: for a team that was expected to do big things in the NL West, they go out on the road for their first eastern trip of the season and promptly get swept by a team they have beaten like a drum in recent years, the Atlanta Braves. Not only did they get swept, they weren't competitive. They are looking like a last-place team rather than a competitive team. If not for the San Francisco Giants, they WOULD be a last place team. The Dodgers get thrown under the Bus.

Andruw Jones: he has gotten WORSE than he was last season. Looks like the Braves made the right decision to rid themselves of a fat, washed-up outfielder that can't catch up to a fastball. And the Dodgers may have made the wrong decision to sign him. Andruw Jones goes under the Bus, along with the rest of the Dodgers.

ESPN: for their chickenshit ambushing of Miguel Tejada during an interview he gave to the network. This brings me to the following.

Miguel Tejada: for LYING about his age when he first signed a professional contract. We already knew he roided up and HGH'ed up. Now he's aged up. Must be from all that HGH and 'roids. BOTH Tejada AND ESPN go under the Bus.

Kyle Farnsworth: for throwing at Manny Ramirez after ManRam took Yankees pitchers deep twice during a recent game. Farnsworth threw at Ramirez' head and said, "It slipped." Sure, it did. What you did was BUSH LEAGUE. Throw inside at his belt buckle to move him off the plate. You're putting a player's livelihood at risk. Now you painted a HUGE bull's eye on Alex Rodriguez and/or Derek Jeter. Now you've been suspended. Now you've been thrown Under The Bus.

Matt Kolbusz: now you're wondering, who the hell is Matt Kolbusz? He's the vendor that was selling offensive Kosuke Fukudome t-shirts. The t-shirts were nothing more than a racial blast aimed at the Asian community. The Cubs pulled the offensive t-shirts. Good for the Cubs. C'mon, M, this is 2008, not 1941. For selling racially offending t-shirts, you go Under The Bus.

NBA

Donnie Walsh: this WUSS has NO BALLS. He had the perfect opportunity to rid the Knicks of any traces of Isiah Thomas and didn't. He kept Thomas as a "special adviser." WTF? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!! This is the PERFECT opportunity for a weasel like Thomas to undermine Walsh and once again take control of the Knicks' basketball ops. Firing Thomas isn't enough. You MUST go Orkin Man and rid the Knicks of this weasel once and FOR ALL. Tune in for the next episode of, "As The Knicks Turn." Until then, Walsh goes under the Bus.

Enver Nuggets: no D in the regular season means no D in the playoffs. Granted, they are playing the Lakers in the first round, and they'll lose, but where was the defensive effort? No one can take the Enver Nuggets seriously until they learn to play good D. Until then, the Nuggets go under the Bus. (I'm glad the Lakers have perhaps the easiest matchup in the first round!)

NHL

Martin Brodeur: for not shaking Sean Avery's hand after the Rangers beat the Devils 4 games to 1. Avery offered to shake Brodeur's hand as a gesture of respect after a hard-fought series. Brodeur didn't participate in the post-series handshake. You're not only a sore loser, you come off as a small man. You go under the Bus not only for that, but the Devils go under because I DETEST THEM!!

NASCAR

Boris Said: he came across as a sore loser after his dustup with Marcos Ambrose. Then to confront Ambrose's crew chief was totally BUSH LEAGUE. I hope Ambrose kicks your #### the next time he sees you. I know I'd be looking for a piece of you afterwards. Until then, you go Under The Bus that Ambrose is driving.

ESPN: can I say it? I will: their coverage is ####. What was it with the constant pimping of Carl Edwards? Are you ESPN or TMZ? Technical glitches, snafus, Rusty Wallace, etc. They all added up to horrible coverage. And they all add up to ESPN being thrown Under The Bus.

Those are my nominees for the week. Come on in with your nominees!! 

Throughout the world of sports, there is no shortage of people and teams that tick fans off. It could be due to a lack of effort, an "I don't care" attitude that reflects in the player's or team's performance, an overpaid player, etc. I found many sports figures that ticked me off this week. So I'm throwing them Under The Bus (Jerome Bettis Limited Edition, 850 hp). This is a forum for you, the sports fan, to call out the object of your ire and throw them under the bus.

NFL

Oakland Raiders: they overpaid to resign Tommy Kelly and to sign Gibril Wilson via free agency. While Kelly is a decent player, he’s NOT one of the top DE’s in the NFL. Yet the Raiders paid him a king’s ransom. If Wilson were that good, the Giants would have kept him. Overpaying by the Raiders further exposes their inability to draft quality players. The front office is a mess. Lane Kiffin could be on the way out, replaced by James Lofton, who Al Davis DESPERATELY wants as his head coach. For making an unnecessary big splash in free agency and spending money like drunken sailors (I apologize to all the drunken sailors out there for lumping you in with the Raiders) the Raiders are to be thrown under the Bus.

San Francisco 49ers: for overpaying to sign DE Justin Smith away from the Cincinnati Bengals. Smith was a good player on a very bad defense in Cincinnati. He may end up being a good player, who knows? But for overpaying a slightly above average DE, the Niners get thrown under the Bus.

MLB

Sam Zell: this Nimrod wants to sell the naming rights of Wrigley Field. You GOTTA be FREAKING KIDDING!!! This is Wrigley Field we're talking about! The Friendly Confines. One of the last bastions in the entire country to remind us of a purer and more honest era. If some bozo owner wants to sell the naming rights for 30 pieces of silver, he's become the Judas Iscariot of sports. Nothing is sacred anymore in this era of corporate greed. When will it stop? At least I give the City of San Francisco kudos to restoring Candlestick Park back to its original name. No wonder the Cubs are destined to lose for the next 100 years while this Nimrod runs the team. You're messing with the baseball gods, and if you do, they don't take kindly to that. So Under The Bus you go, Sam Zell, being thrown under by baseball fans everywhere.

Roger Clemens: enough said.

ESPN: for showing Clemens' mug during the Rockets-Nuggets NBA game on its network.

NBA

New York Knicks: see Isiah Thomas.

Phoenix Suns: for their effort, or lack thereof, against the Philadelphia 76ers. Philadelphia was coming off a loss against Golden State the night before. They were playing their second game in as many nights. Yet it was the 76ers that looked like a playoff team and the Suns a lottery team. This was a game the Suns should have won handily. Suns fan, time to beat the panic button to a pulp. For this dispirited effort, the Suns get thrown under the Bus. At least Steve Kerr will have a TNT gig waiting for him starting next season.

NHL

Bryan Murray: let me preface this. He was the head coach for the Ottawa Senators last season, when they came up short in the Stanley Cup Finals to the Anaheim Ducks. He then became the Senators' GM and hired John Paddock (the head coach of their AHL affiliate at the time) to be the Sens' head coach. Fast forward to last week. The Sens are second in the Eastern Conference and first in goals scored. They are going through a rough patch. Every team does at some point in the season. So what does Murray do? He FIRES Paddock and takes over the head coaching duties and bogarts all of the credit for any success the Sens may have. What a greedy, selfish, Machiavellian son of a ####. Machiavelli thinks that's messed up. I will be rooting for every team the Senators face, until Murray is no longer in the Senators' organization. Even if I have to root for the other teams in the Atlantic Division that face the Sens. For this Machiavellian stunt, Bryan Murray is to be thrown Under The Bus. I'm giving the keys of the Bus to John Paddock. 

Those are the objects of my ire in sports for this past week. What were the objects of your ire for the past week? Come in here and tell us!! 

This is not intended to elicit sympathy. Instead, it is the rantings of a passionate sports fan that is SICK AND TIRED of his teams tanking and/or sucking. It's one thing to suck; if you're giving it all and the other team still has more talent, I'll not like it, but will be more accepting of my team's sucky situation AS LONG AS THEY GIVE IT 100%. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK??

It has been a very nightmarish year for me and my teams sportswise. I DID have one GREAT reason to cheer in mid-February when Kevin Harvick won the Daytona 500. WOOHOO! Here is a brief synopsis of my teams' sucking and/or tanking:

• Los Angeles Dodgers. This team was off to a decent start and had good pitching for much of the year but when the chips were down, they circled the drain. When the calendar hit September 16, this team decided to lay down and tank. They won a grand total of THREE games since September 16th. THREE GAMES!! THREE FREAKING GAMES!! I look at the Dodgers' schedule for October and it's CLEAR!! CLEAR!!!!! They should be playing the divisional playoffs against either the Cubs or the Phillies. Meantime, the L.A.-wannabe Angels ARE playing in the postseason. I'd rather the Dodgers suck and give it 100% than they be mediocre and tank badly.
• Carolina Panthers. I LOVED it when Kris Jenkins called out the team for its lack of heart. GOOD FOR HIM!! I see a 6-10 team written all over themselves unless they get some heart and guts. I don't see that happening, at least not this season.
• Philadelphia Flyers. I actually admired the 2006-07 version, even though they sucked badly. This team gave 100% every game; their lack of talent and injuries were the reason why they sucked. I am more optimistic this season because they went out and got some talent. Martin Biron will be in goal for the full season. What is holding the Flyers back is that they are in a very strong Atlantic Division.
• Los Angeles Lakers. I got fed up with As The Kobe Turns. ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING DRAMA ALREADY!! Mitch Kupchak, get another freaking point guard to COMPLEMENT Kobe and that can distribute the ball! D-Fish is an improvement over the disaster of a PG the Lakes had last season. I don't see this team being a playoff team this season.

There, I feel better already!! Now I'm ready to emerge from the Rubber Room ready to go and give my insights on the world of sports and the issues surrounding sports.

I was responding to lisa4usc's blog entry for today and it struck me: what are the best months in sports? I'll break it down month by month.

• January: you have the NFL Playoffs in full swing, leading to the two teams that will play in the Super Bowl. The NBA and NHL are roughly at the mid-point of their seasons. NASCAR is approaching the season opener, but it's not until mid-February. In college football, you have the BCS bowl games, leading to the crowning of the BCS Champion. Conference play has just started in college basketball.
• February: one event stands out above the others--the Super Bowl. (unfortunately right after the Super Bowl, football season ends) Right after the Super Bowl, Speedweeks begin from Daytona. With that, the anticipation of a new NASCAR season begins. Optimism abounds for many NASCAR fans as to who will win the championship. Speedweeks concludes with The Great American Race, better known as the Daytona 500. (Way to go, Kevin!!!) The NBA and NHL have their All-Star Games in the middle of the month. The sweetest words also roll off a baseball fan's mouth: pitchers and catchers report to spring training. By the end of the month, spring training is in full swing. The race to March Madness is in full swing in college basketball.
• March: this is a college hoops fan's dream month. The conference tournaments are in full swing in the early part of the month. In some cases it's better than some of the March Madness games. Then March Madness arrives, and not a moment too soon. All throughout the land, brackets will be filled out (and in many cases torn up!), millions of dollars will be wagered, and in the end, one team will be cutting down the nets. In the NHL, the regular season ends at the end of March as the playoff teams gear up for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The NBA regular season is winding down as teams either are gearing up for the playoffs or getting ready to set up tee times. The MLB season is just about to open. NASCAR is in full swing, and the first Silly Season rumors start up right about the middle of the month.
• April: the NCAA Championship Game is held on the first Monday of the month. One team cuts down the nets. The other team wonders what could have been. The NBA and NHL Playoffs are in full swing. And for you seamheads out there, Opening Day takes place. Last but certainly not least, the NFL Draft takes place on the last weekend of the month. It's a time for football fans to play amateur analyst and argue and debate about which stud their team should take or which dud their team shouldn't take. God, I LOVE the NFL Draft!! NASCAR continues.
• May: the NHL Playoffs are winding down, then you have two teams left to play for Lord Stanley's Cup. The Cup Finals typically start at the very end of the month. The NBA Playoffs are in full swing and at the end of the month the conference finals are winding down. MLB and NASCAR are in full swing. The Indy 500 takes place on the last Sunday of the month. The NFL has mini-camps (although some teams have mini-camps in June).
• June: the NBA and NHL seasons end, culminating with the crowning of champions in each sport. MLB and NASCAR are in full swing. It's kind of a slow month because the NBA Finals drag out over most of the month.
• July: the MLB All-Star Game takes place in the middle of the month, and with it comes the midway point in the MLB season. NASCAR is also at its midway point until the Chase. Guess what happens towards the end of the month? THAT'S RIGHT, NFL training camps!!! Let the debate begin over who will be in the Super Bowl!
• August: the NASCAR regular season is winding down towards the Chase. The Bristol night race is held on the final Saturday night in August. That one race alone would be worth watching on PPV. Forty-three cars in a bullring, with VERY little room to maneuver. That race is one of NASCAR's crown jewels. NFL training camps are in full swing, and preseason games are still meaningless indicators of how a team will perform in the regular season. The MLB season is winding down with the pennant chases in each division. College football commences near the end of the month.
• September: the NFL season begins. College football goes into full swing. It causes the most rabid of football fans to go into four month "in the basement" mode, not to mention MANY a hangover. (out here on the West Coast, we can start watching college football at 9 am and not end until 1 am or later, if Hawaii is playing at home) In MLB, there are typically one or two exciting pennant races that go down to the last weekend of the season. If the two teams battling for a division title end up playing each other that final weekend, it makes for a very thrilling final weekend of the season. The Chase begins in NASCAR at Loudon in mid-September.
• October: the MLB playoffs begin, culminating in the crowning of a World Series champion near the end of the month. Both college and pro football are in full swing. In the middle of the month, Midnight Madness begins, hearlding the opening of college basketball season. A new NHL season begins. The NBA begins at the end of the month. In NASCAR, the Chase is in full swing as the Chasers are battling to win the series championship.
• November: the college football season starts winding down, and typically, there are some surprises, some flops, and some teams that overachieve (see Boise State, 2006). By this time, we know what teams will play for their conference championships. NASCAR crowns its champion. NFL teams start making their case for the playoffs. I would be SERIOUSLY amiss if I didn't mention the Thanksgiving Day Classic, when both Detroit and Dallas host Thanksgiving Day games. A day of eating LOTS of turkey and watching THREE NFL games. Homer Simpson: mmmmmmmmm, turkey. (I'm paraphrasing his famous phrase about beer) The NBA and NHL are in full swing. College basketball tournaments and non-conference games begin.
• December: the NFL regular season is winding down and gearing up for the playoffs. College football has the Army-Navy game (since I live near a large naval base, GO NAVY!) In this game, ALL the players on BOTH teams are winners, since they will go off to serve the country after graduation from their respective institutions. The conference championship games take place early in the month. Then in the middle of the month, the non-BCS bowl games begin. College basketball has a fairly light schedule right after the middle of the month due to Christmas vacation, then it picks up after Christmas. It's still fairly early in the NBA and NHL seasons.

There you have it. A complete month by month breakdown of what happens in sports. For myself, I like October and February. What do you think are the best months in sports?

As I sit on the patio, my lapper fired up, I just thought I'd muse randomly about things in sports and culture.

• The subhumans that burglarized Marquise Hill's mother's house as she was burying her son are the worst people on the planet. Satan is preparing a room for each of them.
• Is Michelle Wie becoming the Paris Hilton of the LPGA? Or the Anna Kournikova of the LPGA?
• We have another sports soap opera, this one NOT involving the Los Angeles Lakers for once. (The Lakers have their own SERIES)
• We are roughly six weeks away from NFL training camps. WOOHOO!
• Has anyone noticed that every year in the MLB draft the same three teams draft 1-2-3 (the order varies from year to year): Tampa Bay, Kansas City, and Pittsburgh? Get the GMs from those NFL teams to run the MLB teams and see how quickly they improve!
• If you suffer from insomnia, just tape a few soccer games and watch them and time yourself nightly on how quickly you'll fall asleep.
• USC will play in the BCS national championship game. Unofficially, they are the NFL's 33rd team. They are LOADED this year.
• Prediction for the NBA Finals: Spurs in 6, Tony Parker wins Series MVP. A perfect wedding gift for him.
• If not for Kobe Bryant, the Lakers would be a lottery team for years to come. Maybe it's time for Jerry Buss to relinquish control of the team and retire with a 23-year-old (or younger) hottie of his choice. Hmmmm, is Buss the Hugh Hefner of the NBA? I've got to know.
• The Philadelphia Flyers are stuck in a time warp. They're slow, stodgy, and can't put the biscuit in the basket. That style worked in 1975, the last time they won the Stanley Cup. Today's NHL is free-flowing, with a lot more scoring. Gooning it up no longer works. Buffalo exposed them big-time in last year's playoffs.
• MMA is for real. It's not a fad that will go away. At UFC 71 there were plenty of good action-packed fights. I was surprised how quickly Quentin "Rampage" Jackson KO'd Chuck "Iceman" Liddell.
• Boxing is on the ropes. (Pun intended)
• Last but not least, congratulations to the Anaheim Ducks for winning the Stanley Cup. They earned it. Ottawa has nothing to be ashamed of. The Sens simply ran into a better team. They'll be back.