Around the world of the NFL faster than the Raiders blowing a fourth quarter lead, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you in high-def intensity, Week 4 of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Sit back and enjoy!
THE GOOD
New York Jets: did Brett Favre turn the clock back 15 years? SIX TD passes! This was the first time the Jets turned him loose. He came within one TD pass of matching the NFL record. Talk about a shootout! If you love offense, this game was for you! It was a high-speed, high-def shootout at the OK Corral won by the J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!, 56-35. Not to be outdone, Kurt Warner passed for nearly 500 yards in the defeat.
Kansas City Chiefs: they earned their first win of the season against the previously unbeaten Denver Broncos. First of all, it was surprising the Chiefs won to begin with. But the way they won was even more surprising: forcing four Denver turnovers and taking advantage of them. Larry Johnson was a stud, gashing the Broncos for 198 yards on 28 carries, including a 65-yarder that set up a TD.
Washington Redskins: going into Big D and putting a beatdown on the Cowboys will get you into this category every single time. Make no mistake, that was a beatdown administered by the Redskins. Yes, the margin of victory was only 2 points, but the game wasn't even that close. Only because the Redskins played prevent defense was it even that close. They enjoyed a nearly 2 to 1 advantage in TOP. Once again, they did not commit a turnover, remaining the only team in the NFL to not commit a turnover this season.
Tennessee Titans: they put a beatdown on a good Minnesota team to the tune of four turnovers. The Titans scored all their TDs off Minnesota turnovers. The defense also registered four sacks and an INT.
Carolina Panthers: could this be shades of the 2003 season? Steve Smith making big plays, Muhsin Muhammad making big catches to move the chains, Jake Delhomme making the passes he needed. Delhomme completed 20 of 29 for 294 yards and 2 TDs. Jonathan Stewart did his best Stephen Davis impression, scoring on an 8 yard TD run. The defense pitched in with two sacks, and limited the Falcons' potent offense to 268 yards.
Chicago Bears: their defense is playing at the level of a few years ago, when they made it to Super Bowl 42. Very tough and swarming. And that goal-line stand! That turned the momentum of the game Chicago's way. Kyle Orton threw for three TDs, all in the first half. Matt Forte kept the chains moving, something they haven't had since Thomas Jones a few years ago.
New Orleans Saints: Deuce McAllister is healthy. Great news for Saints fans, bad news for the rest of the league. McAllister moved the chains and set up Drew Brees to make huge plays. When this team is completely healthy, and they will be by their bye week, this team can be a Super Bowl contender. The Saints' defense had six sacks of J.T. O'Sullivan, and forced three turnovers.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Diego Chargers, Buffalo Bills.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is listed first for a reason--THEY SUCK. This is a historically bad team, bad enough that it cost Scott Linehan his job 1/4 of the way into the season. As long as they remain winless, they'll be the first team listed in the Bad category.
Cincinnati Bengals: while this team is a mess, it's not at the level of the Rams, yet. They lost the Battle of Ohio to a slightly less woeful team in the Cleveland Browns. They'll be right behind the Rams for this week, only because the Detroit Lions had a bye.
Oakland Raiders: to say they are a dysfunctional team is like saying the sun rises from the east. They have put the "dys" in dysfunctional. And it's not the team per se; they play hard and sell out for Lane Kiffin. They don't know how to win. You can go on and on about how much Al Davis has contributed to the game, and he has. But his time has come and gone. The downfall of this team started when he let Jon Gruden go. When the Raiders are good, the league is much better for it. Now Kiffin wants to change the losing culture, and he and Davis are butting heads. They had a chance to choke out the Chargers and didn't. They could be 2-2 or even 3-1, but they're 1-3 instead.
San Francisco 49ers: what a horrid display they put on against the Saints. This was supposed to be a good test. They failed miserably. They failed to account for Deuce McAllister, who repeatedly moved the chains, setting up Drew Brees to burn the Niners' secondary for huge plays. The vaunted Gold Rush was fool's gold against the Saints, not registering a sack and putting very little pressure on Brees.
Denver Broncos: what the hell was that, losing to a previously winless team? Not only that, they put a BEATDOWN on your ####. The less said about you, the better. Now go play with the other mediocre teams and stop posing as a playoff team, because you're not.
THE UGLY
Cleveland at Cincinnati: any time two winless teams match up, it goes into this category. Someone HAD to win, might as well have been Cleveland.
Denver Broncos: this team played so pathetic and lackluster they get put in TWO categories this week. FOUR turnovers? Against one of the WORST defenses in the NFL? Yes, they outgained Kansas City, but most of that yardage came in garbage time, well after the outcome had been decided. Actually, three categories--I've added a FUGLY category for the Broncos.
Green Bay Packers: another team posing as a playoff team. Like Denver, the Pack committed four turnovers, only against a very good defense. I'll go easier on them, only because they were playing a very good Tampa Bay defense.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to chime in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Reggie Bush turning the corner and gaining huge yardage, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you, the avid NFL fan, this week's version of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Surf and Turf style. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Dallas Cowboys: they went into Lambeau Field and totally throttled a very good Packers team for the nation to see. The Cowboys may have found a #2 receiver in Miles Austin. And their X-Factor so far? Felix Jones. All this guy does is make big plays. For all the talk of the Cowboys' offense, their defense is big, strong, fast, and PHYSICAL. They beat up the Packers into submission.
Miami Dolphins: for a team that was 1-15 last season, they have already matched their win total from last season. RB/QB Ronnie Brown threw as many TD passes than Matt Cassel. Not to mention gashing the Patriots' defense for FOUR rushing TDs. Ricky Williams got into the act, rushing for close to 100 yards (98, to be exact).
Jacksonville Jaguars: to go into Indianapolis and beat the Colts is DEFINITELY good. This was a must win game for the Jags.
Philadelphia Eagles: they pounded a very good Steelers team into submission. Jim Johnson threw everything at the Steelers, including the kitchen sink. I think the sink got a sack in that game. The Eagles recorded nine sacks and a safety. Totally dominating. Not to be overlooked was the punting of Sav Rocca, who kept the Steelers pinned deep in their own territory, allowing the Eagles to keep the pressure on Roethlisberger and the Steelers.
New York Giants: they survived a close, hard-fought game with the Cincinnati Bengals at home, doing what they needed to prevail. They showed the heart of a champion in defeating the Bengals and keeping their undefeated record intact.
Cincinnati Bengals: I'm going to break with tradition and put them in the Good category, despite losing. They went toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champs and went to overtime before losing. Could they take this game and use it as motivation to turn around their season? Only time will tell.
San Diego Chargers: they won a wild shootout against the New York Jets, bringing back memories of Air Coryell. The Chargers punted only once in the game, meaning Mike Scifres had time to check out the hot babes in the stands. Good win by the Bolts.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins, Denver Broncos.
THE BAD
Kansas City Chiefs: these guys are threatening to make this category their permanent home. Granted, they lost to a good Atlanta Falcons team, but they weren't competitive. This team is God-awful BAD.
Detroit Lions: bad, bad team. They were outmatched and outclassed by an up and coming 49ers team.
St. Louis Rams: nothing like some Lamb Chops for the Seattle Seahawks to fatten up on. The Hawks are still licking their chops after that sumptuous meal.
New England Patriots: this team is in SERIOUS trouble. Their defense is old, slow, and a shell of what they were five years ago. Miami just pushed them around the field and b-slapped them all day long.
Cleveland Browns: losing to a rookie QB is bad enough. But they were not competitive. There should have been a DefCon 5 alert for the citizens of Baltimore due to Derek Anderson stinking up the joint so badly. He was BRUTAL.
THE UGLY
Carolina Panthers: Jake Delhomme lost TWO fumbles, one that directly led to a TD. The defense turned journeyman Gus Frerotte into Joe FREAKING Montana. Was that Gus Frerotte or Joe Montana back there? The coaching staff abandoned the run early in the game when it was working. The Panthers also shot themselves in the feet too many times by committing numerous penalties. In short, the Panthers sleepwalked through the entire game. They weren't ready to play. My question is: did someone spike the Panthers' water with Lunesta?
Houston Texans: Matt Schaub threw three picks, including a Pick Six Special to Cortland Finnegan with 1:17 remaining in the game. Finnegan returned the gift a franchise record 99 yards to put the game away. Schaub was BRUTAL, going 17 for 37 for 188 yards.
Those are my Week 3 nominees. Feel free to come in with yours!
It's that time of week again, sports fans. Is there a sports entity that has you in such an uproar that you want to SCREAM? Do you want to call them out for it? Here is your chance to do so! The young lady will take your requests and the offending party will be thrown under that Bus behind her. I have a few requests.
NFL
Carolina Panthers: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EFFORT WAS THAT? You have a battering ram in Jonathan Stewart that SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE BALL 25-30 times today! His total: seven carries for 15 yards! SEVEN FREAKING CARRIES!! Jake Delhomme doesn't escape blame for this, either. He was sacked about 100,000 times, or so it seemed (he was actually sacked five times), and fumbled THREE TIMES, losing ALL of them. Stewart getting the ball a MINIMUM of 20 times would have slowed down the Vikings' defense. Look at what the Dolphins did against New England--they gave the rock to THEIR battering ram Ronnie Brown, and he gashed the Patriots for FOUR TDs and passing for another TD. Dolphins WHIPPED the Patriots at Foxborough. YOU CAN LEARN FROM THAT!
Now let's get to the defense. Aside from Julius Peppers, everyone SUCKED. YOU TURNED A JOURNEYMAN QB INTO FREAKING JOE FREAKING MONTANA! Why didn't you blitz more? Frerotte had ALL FREAKING DAY to pick apart the suspect Panthers' secondary. The coaching staff doesn't escape my wrath, either. FREAKING LIFELESS AND NO IMAGINATION! What did you think, that just by walking out there, you would win? How did you win your first two games? BY PLAYING WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY AND FLYING TO THE BALL. There was none of that today. With a 10-0 lead, you should have been able to choke out the Vikings. You would have if you had fed Jonathan Stewart the rock 20-25 times. SEVEN TIMES IS INEXCUSABLE!! NO WONDER YOU GET THROWN UNDER THE BUS!!
Detroit Lions: this is the saddest sack team in the NFL. But the way Carolina played, the Lions would win their matchup. They were thoroughly dominated by the 49ers. Then to make matters worse, Jon Kitna got injured late in the game. I'll just throw them to the side of the bus.
This blogger: I'm throwing myself under the Bus this week for saying that Carolina would beat Minnesota.
MLB
Colorado Rockies: I'm throwing them Under The Bus for rolling over and laying down to die against the Arizona Diamondbacks, and at home, no less. Arizona came into the series at Colorado having lost 11 road games in a row. Then they go in and sweep the Rockies, two of the games being routs and the middle game being tied going into the ninth, when the Snakes scored two runs. All that good will you earned last year for that amazing run is gone. #### YOU ROCKIES!!
Los Angeles Dodgers: this is for losing half your lead to the D-backs by losing 2 of 3 to the lowly Giants. You turned the Giants' pitching staff into the 1971 Baltimore Orioles' staff. Now it appears you're going to have to win IN San Francisco, NEVER an easy thing to do. For nearly giving back the NL West lead, you get thrown under the Bus.
NASCAR
Robby Gordon: he was racing Jamie McMurray while a lap down. Foolish. Give McMurray the position, and you don't take out a car that could have won the race. McMurray is racing for his future, and finishes like today make it easier for Jack Roush to decide. You get thrown under the Bus twice: for foolishly racing McMurray and for being an ####.
Those are my nominees. Feel free to come in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Ed Hochuli's whistle, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
New York Giants: they thoroughly dominated a hapless St. Louis Rams. Good teams are supposed to dominate teams like the Rams, and the Giants did so. DE Justin Tuck's Pick Six Special was particularly impressive.
Tennessee Titans: boy, was I ever wrong about this team! The Titans' defense stuffed the Bengals' offense like a Thanksgiving turkey. To hold Carson Palmer to 134 yards passing is especially impressive. Great job by the Titans' defense.
Buffalo Bills: another team I was wrong about. To go into Jacksonville and beat a Jaguars team many thought could reach the Super Bowl, awesome. Trent Edwards was stellar, completing 20 of 25 for 239 yards and a TD.
Green Bay Packers: they ran and passed on the Lions at will, to the tune of 447 total yards and 48 points. Aaron Rodgers continues to prove that the Packers' brass made the right decision, completing 24 of 38 for 328 yards and 3 TDs.
Carolina Panthers: I put them in this category because of their comeback from a 17-3 deficit to win 20-17. Jonathan Stewart continues to impress, scoring twice, the last one coming with less than 4 minutes left in the game. The Panthers' defense rose to the occasion in the second half, stuffing Aaron McKie on a fourth and short to seal the deal.
Dallas Cowboys: they took advantage of two gigantic plays: a 72-yard TD pass from Tony Romo to Terrell Owens, and a 98-yard kickoff return from Felix Jones, both in the first half. While the Eagles moved the ball up and down the field, the Cowboys' defense stiffened up when it mattered. DeMarcus Ware showed why he's an All-Pro, not giving up on the play and sacking Donovan McNabb on the Eagles' final possession. They join the Giants, Panthers, Packers, and Cardinals as 2-0 teams in the NFC.
Washington Redskins: they beat a (battered) New Orleans Saints team many (myself included) predicted to reach the Super Bowl. Jason Campbell picked apart the Saints' defense to the sweet, jazzy tune of 24 of 36 for 321 yards and a late 67-yard bomb to Santana Moss that provided the winning margin.
Oakland Raiders: Darren McFadden broke out in a HUGE way. Subbing for the injured Justin Fargas, McFadden rushed for 164 yards on 21 carries and a TD. He also broke off a 50-yard run. They thoroughly dominated the hapless Chiefs in Arrowhead, rushing for 300 yards as a team.
Honorable Mention: Indianapolis Colts, San Francisco 49ers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is GOD-AWFUL bad. They will be LUCKY to win 2 games this season. In fact, they will be competing for the first overall selection in the 2009 draft. They have become the Clippers of the NFL.
Kansas City Chiefs: another awful team, though not as bad as the Rams. Losing at home and getting dominated will get you in this category every single time.
Seattle Seahawks: how could you dominate a team like San Francisco, yet let the game get away from you? And at home, no less? Losing to the 49ers at home gets you in this category every single time.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is HORRID. No wonder they have Halloween colors; watching this team is a horror show in itself. They will be competing with the Rams for the #1 overall selection in the 2009 draft.
THE UGLY
Pittsburgh at Cleveland: this was a Sunday Night Snoozefest. Missed passes. Dropped balls. A lack of execution by both teams. Granted, it was very windy because of the remnants of Hurricane Ike, but you're pros, you should adapt to the conditions. Either both defenses played stellar, or both offenses were sloppy. I'll bank on the latter. Pittsburgh's defense played better, with Troy Polamalu picking off a Derek Anderson pass to stop a Cleveland drive. Aside from Big Ben's 31-yard TD pass to Hines Ward, he was pedestrian.
Oakland at Kansas City: this was a game between two teams that are biding their time until they set up tee times after Week 17. Another yawnfest.
Ed Hochuli: I have to put him in here because he BLEW three calls, ALL of them shafting the Chargers. He was subsequently graded down by the NFL office.
Those are my nominees for Week 2. Feel free to come in with yours!
Starting in Week 1 and concluding in Week 17 (since there are no bad teams in the playoffs) I will be offering the NFL version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, sponsored by Crappafoni Pictures. I will put five teams in each category.
THE GOOD
New York Giants: they totally dismantled the Washington Redskins last Thursday night. The defense overwhelmed Jason Campbell and the Redskins' offense. Based on what I've seen, the G-men look poised to defend their title.
Philadelphia Eagles: Donovan McNabb is healthy again, and that’s a good thing for the Eagles. They ran and passed at will against the Rams. Defensively, they put the clamps on the Rams’ offense.
Dallas Cowboys: they totally dismantled the Cleveland Browns, looking like the favorites to go to the Super Bowl. Tony Romo looked sharp, the ground game was working, and the defense totally overwhelmed the Browns’ offense.
Carolina Panthers: WOW! What a freaking ending! The Panthers hung in there and kept it close throughout the game. The Chargers took the lead with 2:26 left in the game. Plenty of time for Jake Delhomme to drive the Panthers down the field, culminating in a 14-yard TD pass to Dante Rosario as time expired. It's a VERY RARE feat for a QB to throw a game-winning TD pass as time expires. To go into San Diego and beat the Chargers is a GREAT start to the season.
Atlanta Falcons: Michael Turner. Matt Ryan. Need I say more? Turner rushed for a franchise record 220 yards and Ryan's first pass in the NFL was a 62-yard TD to Michael Jenkins. What a debut for first-year head coach Mike Smith! Looks like the Falcons' braintrust knew what they were doing in hiring Smith.
I could put a whole bunch of other teams in this category, but I will put a few in my honorable mention category.
Honorable Mention: Chicago Bears, Arizona Cardinals, Buffalo Bills, Denver Broncos.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: they couldn’t move the ball on the Eagles, and the Eagles ran and passed over them at will. While I didn’t expect them to win, I expected a better effort. Yuck. I hope Scott Linehan is updating his resume.
Detroit Lions: they were ill-prepared to play football against the Falcons. While Jon Kitna wasn’t bad, the rest of his team was. Kitna actually had a pretty good day, but the defense was putrid.
Cincinnati Bengals: while I wouldn’t normally put them in the Bad category, they belong there this week because they lost to a rookie QB and rookie head coach.
Seattle Seahawks: where do I start? Special teams? That’s a good place to start. The Seahawks’ special teams allowed a fake FG for a touchdown and a punt return for a touchdown.
Oakland Raiders: losing at home, and not putting forth an honest effort against the Denver Broncos, will get you in this category every single time. They took STUPID penalties, did a ####-poor job in tackling, and did a poor job of game management.
THE UGLY
New England Patriots: losing your franchise QB for the season will get you in this category.
San Francisco 49ers: playing a game of giveaway with the Arizona Cardinals to the tune of five turnovers will get you in this category every single time.
Oakland Raiders: this was so ugly, I turned to a documentary. They were totally and thoroughly dominated by the Broncos. The atmosphere in the stadium is like a morgue. Lane Kiffin better start updating his resume. Now Rob Ryan can really snicker his teehees at Kiffin, knowing he won‘t be fired.
I apologize for leaving some teams off that should be in one of the three categories. Feel free to come in with your nominees!
It's that time of week again. Time to call out those idiots, miscreants, malcontents, and ingrates for their idiocy, arrogance, dumb-A$$ery, and general stupidity. The lovely young lady will take your requests and call them forward. Simple as that!
NFL
San Francisco 49ers: OMG, what the HELL was THAT? FIVE turnovers? It was a miracle you didn't get run out of Candlestick Park! If it wasn't for the Arizona Cardinals' offensive ineptitude, you would have. And your defense bailed the offense's sorry #### out. If it wasn't for Frank Gore, it would REALLY be putrid. I expected a competitive game. Not a good way to start by getting thrown under the Bus.
Seattle Seahawks: what was that allowing a TD on a fake FG? Then on the ensuing kickoff fumbling the ball away? Then on the very next play allowing ANOTHER TD? If this is any indication, it's going to be a VERY long year in the Pacific Northwest. And it starts by throwing the Seahawks under the Bus.
St. Louis Rams: keeping up with the theme of the NFC Worst West, I offer as Exhibit 3, the St. Louis Lambs Rams. Granted, the Eagles are a good team, but I expected a better effort. Both Donovan McNabb AND Kevin Kolb passed on the Lambs Rams at will. I'll state the obvious: the NFC Worst West is the WORST division in the NFL. The Lambs Rams get thrown under the Bus for their lack of effort and their suckiness, at least this week.
Detroit Lions: throughout preseason, this team was hyped as a possible playoff contender. Well, if you were a TRUE playoff contender, you wouldn't be losing have lost to the Atlanta Falcons! And to a rookie QB making his FIRST NFL start! And you wouldn't have let Michael Turner gash you for 220 yards rushing. New season, same old Lions. See the Lions defense. See Michael Turner. See Michael Turner gash the Lions defense for 220 yards rushing (a franchise record). See the Lions get thrown under the Bus.
Carolina Panthers' haters: this is to all those that said the Panthers would be 6-10, or worse, like finish LAST in the NFC South (you people KNOW who you are). I EXPECTED the Panthers to compete, but like just about everyone else, I expected the Chargers to win. Well, the Panthers are 1-0 after beating one of the BEST teams in the AFC, and on the road, no less. Suddenly, the game against Chicago will be very tough next week. I throw all you Panthers haters under the Bus, and deprive you of your supply of Panther-flavored Haterade.
NBA
Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur: the two ex-Jayhawks teammates were kicked out of an NBA rookie transition program for deciding to get high on the hippie lettuce and having women in their room and getting caught. Save that for the regular season. The NBA kicked them out of the program and now they have to repeat the program next year. But in the meantime, the wannabe hippies get thrown under the Bus.
MLB
St. Louis Cardinals: their bullpen failed to hold leads TWICE against Arizona. I thought the Mets’ bullpen was bad; the Cardinals bullpen is 20 times WORSE. This is why they’ll be watching the playoffs from home after the season is over. They had a GOLDEN opportunity to get back into the playoff hunt. Now it’s all but over. With a sweep, they would have made the NL Central a tight race. Now the opportunity is lost. Now they get thrown under the Bus.
Those are my nominations for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!
Minnesota Vikings: they have a very stout defense, and with the addition of Jared Allen, got that much better. However, I have a HUGE question mark at QB. If Tarvaris Jackson takes the next step forward in his development, this team has the look of a Super Bowl contender. But if he plays like the Jackson of last year, they could struggle to make the playoffs. My guess is he'll be good enough to lead the Vikings to the NFC North title. Predicted record: 10-6, division champion (3).
Green Bay Packers: no Brett Favre for the first time since 1991. They go in with an unproven QB in Aaron Rodgers. They have everything else in place: strong defense, good running game, good receiving corps. Rodgers will take his lumps early in the season, but get better as the season progresses. IF he were to get hurt, the Pack would be in a world of hurt, as they have two unproven rookie QBs backing him up: Brian Brohm and Matt Flynn. Because Rodgers will take his lumps early, it will end up costing the Pack the division title. Predicted record: 9-7 (no playoffs).
Detroit Lions: while this team has some good young players to build around, this team will be spotty and inconsistent. While Rod Marinelli may be a good coach, he alone can't improve the team's fortunes. Perhaps a change in GMs would help. This team is much closer to ten losses than ten wins. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Chicago Bears: only a few short years ago, this team was in the Super Bowl. Why have they fallen so far? Poor free agent acquisitions and some bad drafting decisions. (Tommie Harris isn't one of those bad decisions) The strength of this team is the defensive line. Brian Urlacher, while still very good, isn't quite the player he was in that Super Bowl run. Too many losses on the defensive side. They have failed to draft a potential franchise QB and RB in recent years. They lost Bernard Berrian, their best receiver, to the Vikings. It all adds up to a LONG season for the Bears. Predicted record: 4-12 (no playoffs).
NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks: they still have Matt Hasselbeck under center, a strong and improving offensive line, and a very stout defense. Justin Forsett looks like a keeper at RB. Question marks still abound at receiver. They will send Mike Holmgren out a divisional champion. Predicted record: 10-6 (divisional champion).
Arizona Cardinals: Kurt Warner will start the year as their starting QB. They still have the Dynamic Duo WRs of Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. They have an improving defense. They have the offensive firepower. However, Boldin is a VERY unhappy camper. It remains to be seen how that will impact the team. With the improved defense, they could push the Seahawks. They will fall short, but have a winning record. Predicted record: 9-7 (no playoffs).
St. Louis Rams: Steven Jackson is back, and he's a happy camper. I expect a huge year from Jackson. Marc Bulger is healthy. The defense is improved. They drafted well, with all their drafted rookies expected to stick with the team and make contributions. Chris Long will be a Rookie of the Year candidate. Expect this team to be greatly improved. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
San Francisco 49ers: they have a new QB under center in J.T. O'Sullivan. Frank Gore will be the focal point of the offense, getting plenty of touches. Manny Lawson returns on defense after missing last season with a torn ACL. Josh Morgan, a sixth-round draft pick out of Virginia Tech, has been the best rookie in training camp and could push Bryant Johnson for a starting job. However, too many doubts still abound. They will be better than last year, but not by much. Predicted record: 6-10 (no playoffs).
Wild Card Playoffs: Carolina (6) over Minnesota (3); Philadelphia (5) over Seattle (4).
Divisional Playoffs: New Orleans (1) over Carolina; Philadelphia (5) over Dallas (2).
Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to submit the objects of your ire in the sports world to the lovely young lady standing beside this week's bus. She will call out each name, then they will be thrown under the Bus. I have submitted my names to her and she will call them out.
NASCAR
NASCAR Sanctioning Body: how the living HELL could they conduct a race like that? It was basically a glorified test session. The 2008 Brickyard 400 was the WORST F-ING race I have ever seen! I've seen turtle races that had more entertainment!! And they were FASTER! For conducting such a God-awful race, the NASCAR Sanctioning Body gets thrown under the Bus.
Goodyear Tires: why didn't you come to the Brickyard with a HARDER tire, one that won't wear out as fast? You wouldn't have had nearly as many issues as you did today. Go with a harder tire and stick with it. Let the crews and engineers come up with a plan to make the car drive as best it can. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE PAID TO DO. The people responsible for these tires get thrown under the Bus.
Kurt Busch: this is for racing Kevin Harvick VERY early in the race and knocking him out of contention. Harvick was marching through the field and he was on the verge of the top 10 when he was an innocent victim of Busch's ineptitude behind the wheel. Harvick was passing you; you should have let him go and tuck in behind him. But NOOOOOO, you had to race him and got loose and collected him. You also knocked him out of the Chase in the process. You will be thrown under said Bus until he makes the Chase, and if he doesn't, you'll be thrown under every week for the rest of the season. (Sorry Kristen, I just had to vent at your driver--nothing personal against you.)
MLB
San Francisco Giants: for their fold-up job against the Arizona Diamondbacks over the weekend. This was a huge series; they could have got into contention with a series win. Instead, they'll be facing a double-digit deficit in the next couple of days. Maybe they wanted to get back at the Dodgers a different way. Either way, they get thrown under the Bus.
Manny Ramirez: he all but challenged the Red Sox to trade him.(Rumors are the Dodgers and Mets are interested.) Boston's feeling the pressure of the Yankees and having to defend their world title. A Yankees win tonight and they're tied with Boston, 2 games back of the Tampa Bay Rays. (And who'd have thunk both Boston and New York would be chasing the Rays this late in the season?) For his "Manny being Manny" outburst and causing dissension among the ranks, ManRam gets thrown Under The Bus.
NFL
Donte Nicholson, S, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: the reserve safety was Tasered twice and was arrested during a weekend scuffle at a St. Petersburg nightclub. How many times do athletes need to be reminded that NOTHING good happens after 2 AM (unless you’re getting lucky)? This came on the heels of his roommate getting arrested as he was trying to reenter the club when it was closing. You can think about what you did as you’re getting thrown under the Bus.
Brett Favre: he didn't report to Packers' training camp today. This ongoing saga is getting pretty tiresome. You shouldn't have retired in the first place. You should have done what you did last April: told the Packers that you're coming back. Ted Thompson deserves some of the blame for this for allegedly rushing your decision. But only you can make that decision to retire or not, Brett. For creating a media circus, you get thrown under the Bus.
AUTO RACING
Danica Patrick: she was unapologetic for her cat fight with Milka Duno. Of course she was. She thinks she's right about EVERYTHING. Then I’ll be unapologetic for a repeat of last week in getting her punk #### thrown under the Bus.
GOLF
Michelle Wie: ENOUGH of playing against the men already!! You’re nothing more than a freak show now. YOU’RE A JOKE! No sooner than her disqualification took place she announced she’ll be playing against the men again. It’s old and tired, just like you are. The Diva of the LPGA Tour gets thrown under the Bus again.
Andrew Giuliani: this little punk sued Duke University for being kicked off the golf team. You had a CAREER winning percentage of LESS than 20%. Numbers don’t lie, kid. If I were the coach, I’d have kicked you off the team, too. Your impact on college golf was miniscule, like your winning percentage. And I don’t give a rat’s #### if you’re the son of America’s Mayor. While I won’t throw you under the bus for attempting to make Duke’s golf team as a walk-on, I will throw you under the Bus for clogging up the court system with your frivolous lawsuit and for acting like a whiny little baby.
Thank you, Miss. You're doing a great job this week. Now on to the other fans that are itching for their opportunity.
Scanning the world of sports, you can find plenty of sports individuals and teams that so tick you off you want to call them out. Or throw them under the Bus. This is your forum to do that! I have a few that I'd like to throw Under The Bus.
NFL
Willie Andrews, CB, New England Patriots: this coward allegedly pointed a gun at his girlfriend during a domestic dispute early last Monday. At the time, the Patriots said they were aware of the report, but had "no comment." UPDATE: the Patriots released Andrews the next day. This thug does not belong on ANY NFL roster because he's a lawbreaker. If it is proven he did this, he should NOT be a free man for a VERY LONG TIME. Andrews gets thrown Under The Bus for being a thug and a dumb####.
Brett Favre: there's that rumor floating around that he may be unretiring. The Packers have moved on without him. Sounds like Aaron Rodgers is having his feet cut out from under him. Brett, you're one of the all-time greats, but enough already! For "tantalizing" us with the unretirement rumors, you get thrown Under The Bus (Cook).
NASCAR
"Fans" that threw debris on the track at Daytona: this is to you "fans" that threw debris on the track after Kyle Busch won. That was garbage. You are NOT true NASCAR fans. You are pathetic, miserable LOSERS. You can boo Kyle all you want and that's fine. But to throw debris at him after he wins a race? That's beyond the pale. Congratulations to Kyle Busch on his win at Daytona. And to you "fans" that threw debris on the track, you get thrown under the Bus, one "fan" at a time.
MLB
Milwaukee Brewers: they blew a five-run lead on Thursday. In the ninth inning. As a Dodgers fan, it #### ME OFF. You suck, Milwaukee. Your bullpen sucks. When you're up 5-0, three outs away from winning, and you give up the game, THAT blows. All they needed was THREE OUTS!! Yet their merry band of arsonists called the bullpen imploded. They proceeded to drag their gas cans out of the pen, soaked up that stadium with gasoline, then flicked their blue tips and burned down Chase Field. The Phoenix Fire Department was pretty busy that day. For that colossal gag job, the Brewers get thrown Under The Bus.
That's all I have for the week. What say you? Come on in with your nominees!
It's that time of week again. I've got some sports figures to throw Under The Bus.
NBA
The Game 2 crew: a 19 to 2 FT advantage by the Celtics in the first half? WTF? And two Lakers with THREE fouls?? Talk about home cooking at its best!!! IF YOU'RE GOING TO CALL TICKY TACK FOULS, CALL THEM CONSISTENTLY, AND NOT IN FAVOR OF ONE TEAM!!! Even the ABC announcers commented on the gross inconsistency of the calls. The Game 2 crew get thrown Under The Bus after the game.
NFL
Odell Thurman: he failed another drug test. Roger Goodell suspended him for ANOTHER season. That means this druggie has missed THE LAST THREE NFL SEASONS because of drugs. Way to #### away your NFL career, Odell. And don't expect ANY sympathy from me. Sympathy is reserved for those that have lost loved ones suddenly and sometimes unexpectedly. You made your choices, now you have to live with the consequences of those choices. For pissing away your NFL career, you get thrown Under The Bus.
Cedric Benson: TWO arrests in a month period? This guy can't seem to stay out of trouble. How long will it be before the Bears pull the plug on him? (More on the Bears later.) For getting arrested for the second time in a month, Benson gets thrown Under The Bus.
Chicago Bears: or more specifically, their front office. They got rid of the wrong RB in Thomas Jones, they kept Rex Grossman two YEARS too long, and haven't drafted a QB since Kyle Orton. And they drafted a RB of questionable character in Benson. For being incompetent, the Bears' front office gets thrown Under The Bus.
FORMULA ONE
Lewis Hamilton: in case you forgot or don't know, red means STOP. He barreled into Kimi Raikonnen's car as Raikonnen stopped for a red light at the end of the pits. Understandably, Raikonnen was pissed. Question: did Hamilton drink the same water as Denny Hamlin did last week? Hamilton's brain #### ended up knocking himself and Raikonnen out of the Montreal race. For his brain ####, Lewis Hamilton gets thrown Under The Bus.
HORSE RACING
Rick Dutrow, Jr.: after boasting for two months that Big Brown cannot be beat, he was NOWHERE to be found after the Belmont Stakes. WHAT A WUSS!! If Dutrow were a REAL MAN, he'd have owned it, faced the music regarding Big Brown, and credited Da'Tara on his win. For being an arrogant #### and hiding like the wuss that he is, Dutrow gets thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominations. Feel free to come in with yours!
It's that time of the week again! It's time to call out those sports figures that have so totally p****d you off you want to SCREAM! (Ashlee Simpson notwithstanding) Well, here is the forum in which you can call out those sports figures by throwing them under the Bus. I have a few nominations, so here goes!
NFL
Detroit Lions: for further pissing off some of their season ticket holders. Apparently someone in the Lions' front office responded this way to a complaint from one of their season ticket holders: "#### 'em." I'm always looking for a reason to throw the L.A. Clippers of the NFL under the Bus. Now I've found one. (NOTE: may have to write a written apology to the Clippers for lumping them in with the Detroit Lions. Clips, I apologize for lumping you in with the #### 'Em Lions aka the Detroit #### 'EM'S.)
Wal-Mart: the reason Wal-Mart is in this category is because they stiffed the Andre Johnson Foundation in two ways. First, they messed up the Texans' WR's order of 750 bikes that HE purchased to give to underprivileged kids. (There were around 675 bikes that ended up being donated as a result at the May 3 event.) And because of that order snafu, they stiffed the kids out of ice and water THEY HAD PROMISED. ICE AND WATER!! Sam Walton must be turning over in his grave. For stiffing the kids and messing up the order, Wal-Mart goes under the Bus.
NBA
Utah Jazz fans: this is for the moronic Jazz fans that chanted "Cancer!" every time Derek Fisher attempted a free throw and allegedly threw debris and trash at the Lakers' bench during Game 6 of their series. And they shouted "Refs SUCK!" when the Jazz were getting whipped. Don't blame the refs for your team's shortcomings. Congratulations, Utah. You surpassed Philly fan as the WORST fans in sports. Great job. Because of the morons that did this, you spoiled it for the rest of the Jazz fans. And because of the morons, Jazz fans get thrown under the Bus. I have ONE WORD for Jazz Fan: SCOREBOARD!
NASCAR
A.J. Allmendinger: for not even apologizing to Elliott Sadler after wrecking Sadler out of the All-Star Challenge, then he had the gall to win it! You'll get your comeuppance. Until then, you get thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours.
I'm hearing JT the Brick and Jay Glazer broke the news that Jared Allen has been traded from the Kansas City Chiefs to the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings give up the #17 overall pick, two third-rounders this year, and switch positions in the sixth round this year with the Chiefs. Allen has agreed to a contract with the Vikings worth just under $74 million for six years, with $31,000,069 in guaranteed money. This is the richest contract signed by a defensive player in NFL history.
This is a pretty steep price to pay, but Allen is one of the best DEs in the NFL. While Allen does come with baggage, he has been on the straight and narrow and continues to strive to do what is right. An already strong Minnesota defensive line got even stronger. Will this be enough to put the Vikings over the top in the NFC North? That remains to be seen, but they have greatly improved their defense with the acquisition of Allen.
What say you? I welcome any comments, especially from Chiefs and Vikings fans.
NOTE: The story will be up on the Fox Sports site shortly.
Sports fans, it's that time again to call out those idiots, miscreants, and all around dumbasses that so #### you off. I KNOW you have several that you want to throw under the Bus! Call them out for their idiocy. This is your forum to throw these idiots under the Bus. Remember, you can call out a player, coach, team, owner, a team's fans, or any sports personality and throw them under the Bus. I know I have my share!
NFL
Brett Favre: ENOUGH about coming back already! You made your decision to retire, stick with it!! Brett, I loved watching you play, you were one of my all-time favorite players, but when you made the decision to retire, it was time to move on. Aaron Rodgers is ready to helm the Packers' ship. Just by HINTING at a comeback, you threw Rodgers under the bus. Now it's Rodgers' turn to throw YOU under the Bus.
Reagan Mauia: this will most likely be the only time in the history of the world that Mauia and Favre will show up on the same blog. For those who don't know who Mauia is, he is the Miami Dolphins' starting FB. This bozo punched a man in the face without provocation and fled the scene. A witness took a picture of Mauia's license plate with his phone. Mauia was tracked down and arrested. I don't have to wait for more information to throw Mauia under the Bus.
NBA
Detroit Pistons: losing to the New York Knicks is bad enough, but at HOME? You lost to the Knicks when you ABSOLUTELY had to WIN in order to stay alive for home court advantage? AND on a night where the all-time greats of the Pistons franchise was honored? For all that, you get thrown under the Bus not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR times! Hopefully we won't hear the worst chant in the history of the world, "Detroit Basketball!" in the Finals when the Celtics work you.
New York Knicks: they have begun the annual Save Isiah campaign. Donations are accepted. They are playing their BEST basketball of the season in order to Save Isiah. I imagine there are buildings all over New York that say, "Save Isiah." (Much like in the movie, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, there were signs painted all over Chicago that said, "Save Ferris.") The Knicks get thrown under the Bus.
Miami Heat: just quit already. D-Wade has. Oh wait, he's out for the year with injuries. Pat Riley has. He spent the NCAA Tournament scouting Michael Beasley and Derrick Rose. He hearts D-Rose. He hearts him MUCH more than coaching the band of misfits known as the Heat. Mercifully, the season will end this week for the Heat. Until then, the Heat get thrown under the Bus yet again.
MLB
Tampa Bay Rays: for all the hype that went into the Rays this year, the more things change, the more they stay the same. The Rays are looking up at the FREAKING Orioles this year. For that matter, they're looking up at everyone else in the division. This was supposed to be their breakout year. It also doesn't help when a veteran pitcher like Al Reyes gets into a fight in a bar. On his birthday, no less. Some veteran leadership there, Al. He not only got into a fight, he got his #### kicked. Then he got Tasered TWICE. Reyes gets his #### kicked, gets Tasered, AND gets thrown Under The Bus all in the same week. The Rays get thrown under for letting us down.
Fox Sports: for treating the NASCAR fans of this nation to a slap in the face. Yes, it wasn't your fault that the Yankees-Red Sox was delayed by rain. But you could have switched the game to FX and kept the NASCAR fans and the baseball fans somewhat happy. But NOOOOOOOOO, you had to milk the Yankees-Red Sox for every moment AND you had the game SIMULCAST on FX!! AND you pre-empted the NASCAR pre-race show! Because it was Yankees-Red Sox, you cut into the ACTUAL RACE. Ryan Newman was going into Turn 3 of the first lap of the race when Fox switched from the game to the race. For poor planning and for pissing a LOT of race fans off, Fox Sports goes under the Bus.
Yankees-Red Sox rivalry: yes, I get that it's a historically bitter rivalry. Yes I get that both teams are good. But they're not the only two teams in baseball!! It's an endless and breathless hype machine! For my money, the NL West rivalry is just as good, if not better, than Yankees-Red Sox. Yankees-Sox rivalry goes under the Bus.
NCAA
#### Vitale haters: been drinking the anti-Dickie V grape-flavored Haterade again? There was one guy (Fox Sports' own Mark Kriegel) that got drunk on it. Love or hate #### Vitale, his contributions to college basketball as a commentator and ambassador to the game cannot be denied. I admire Vitale's enthusiasm and passion for the game of college basketball (even though he's too much of a Duke homer). All the Dickie V haters (Kriegel included) are to be thrown under the Bus of Dickie V's choice.
Jeff Ehrhardt, QB, Murray State: this genius was charged with second-degree robbery for "a prank gone bad." So now that's what we call pushing and assaulting a campus police officer and taking his book away, a "prank gone bad"? If it were up to me, dude would be in the clink for a MINIMUM of five years. He won a $20 bet for the "prank gone bad". Sure hope that $20 was worth it, E. My bet is that he skates like Dorothy Hamill. He'll probably be suspended for the first play of the season. For such a #### prank, Ehrhardt gets thrown under the Bus.
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