This is the time of week that Joe Six-Pack Sports Fan is looking forward to! Time for you, Joe Six-Pack Sports Fan, to call out the object of your ire for their arrogance, idiocy, and plain all-around dumbassery by throwing them under the Bus. The lovely young lady will take your requests. Then they will be called out and thrown under promptly. Here are the requests that I gave her.
NFL
Steve Smith, WR, Carolina Panthers: as a Panthers fan, it pains me to do this, but do this I must. I don't know who started the fight between Smith and CB Ken Lucas, but I know who ended it. Smith earned a two-game suspension by the team for his actions, effective for the first two games of the regular season. He will still be allowed to practice with the team through preseason, then when the regular season starts he won't be allowed to practice with the team. In the meantime, Smith has punched his ducat to be thrown Under The Bus.
NASCAR
Joe Nemechek: I've taken to nicknaming him Field Filler Joe. What the hell was he doing out there? First, he causes a FIRST LAP wreck with Kevin Harvick by making contact with him and sending him spinning. Then he wrecks Paul Menard, knocking both him and Menard out of the race. Field Filler Joe, this isn't Bumper Cars out there. These cars are EXPENSIVE to replace. He won't be driving this Bus anytime soon! But he WILL be thrown UNDER the Bus.
MLB
Kevin Hench: he wrote that the D-backs would beat the Dodgers and win the NL West. He obviously didn't see ManRam destroy his precious D-backs pitching to the tune of 8 for 13 with 2 HRs and 5 RBIs. Manny Ramirez is a mashing savant, pure and simple. He is the best, most clutch hitter of his generation. His presence will be the reason the Dodgers pull away from the D-backs late in the season. Hate to do this to a FoxSports.com columnist, but I must. Oh, and the Dodgers HAMMERED Doug Davis around the yard today to the tune of FIVE earned runs in an inning and two-thirds!!!! ManRam's line: 5 AB, 2 R, 4 H, 3 RBI. (Excuse me while I gloat a bit!)
NCAA FB
Josh Jarboe, WR, Oklahoma Sooners: he was dismissed from the team after an Internet rap video of him surfaced that advocated guns and shooting people. He was already in trouble with the law in Georgia but because he was a first time offender, his offense was reduced to a misdemeanor from a felony. Good for coach Stoops to kick this thug and gang####ing wannabe off his team. Now he can go back home to think about how he pissed away his chance to better himself. But in the meantime, Jarboe gets thrown under the Bus.
GOLF
Michelle Wie: young lady, respect your elders. Especially Annika Sorenstam, the greatest female golfer of all time. To blow off Sorenstam’s criticism by saying, “Whatever” speaks volumes of how much a spoiled little brat you are. Spoiled little brats say “whatever” when they lose the argument or have no argument. You could have said, “She’s entitled to her opinion” or something innocuous like that. But you BLEW HER OFF. That don’t sit well with me. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVEN’T WON #### ON THE LPGA TOUR. (How many majors has Annika won? More than you’ll ever dream of, Michelle.) I throw Michelle the Diva AND her parents/enablers under the Bus.
Phil Mickelson: he hasn't been the same since pissing away the 2006 U.S. Open. Today he had a chance to redeem himself by winning the WGC Bridgestone Invitational. But he faltered down the stretch, again. I don't think he'll ever be the same golfer he was before the 2006 U.S. Open. You said you played really well? Really? Then why did you #### away another lead in a big tournament? If you had said, "I sucked down the stretch, and Vijay played well", all would be okay. But just for that comment, Lefty gets thrown under the Bus.
TENNIS
Andy Roddick: he withdrew just before his match at the Cincinnati Masters. The timing of the withdrawal stinks to high heaven. If he KNEW he couldn’t have gone, he should have withdrawn BEFORE the tournament started. This would have given his replacement a full day to prepare rather than a few minutes. The replacement, Woong-Sun Jun of South Korea, lost 6-2, 6-2 to Phillipp Kohlschreiber of Germany. I will give Mr. Woong the keys to the Bus that Andy Roddick is to be thrown under. Roddick also gets thrown under again for being overrated and overhyped.
Whew! Those are my nominees for this week. Feel free to come in with yours!
Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to submit the objects of your ire in the sports world to the lovely young lady standing beside this week's bus. She will call out each name, then they will be thrown under the Bus. I have submitted my names to her and she will call them out.
NASCAR
NASCAR Sanctioning Body: how the living HELL could they conduct a race like that? It was basically a glorified test session. The 2008 Brickyard 400 was the WORST F-ING race I have ever seen! I've seen turtle races that had more entertainment!! And they were FASTER! For conducting such a God-awful race, the NASCAR Sanctioning Body gets thrown under the Bus.
Goodyear Tires: why didn't you come to the Brickyard with a HARDER tire, one that won't wear out as fast? You wouldn't have had nearly as many issues as you did today. Go with a harder tire and stick with it. Let the crews and engineers come up with a plan to make the car drive as best it can. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE PAID TO DO. The people responsible for these tires get thrown under the Bus.
Kurt Busch: this is for racing Kevin Harvick VERY early in the race and knocking him out of contention. Harvick was marching through the field and he was on the verge of the top 10 when he was an innocent victim of Busch's ineptitude behind the wheel. Harvick was passing you; you should have let him go and tuck in behind him. But NOOOOOO, you had to race him and got loose and collected him. You also knocked him out of the Chase in the process. You will be thrown under said Bus until he makes the Chase, and if he doesn't, you'll be thrown under every week for the rest of the season. (Sorry Kristen, I just had to vent at your driver--nothing personal against you.)
MLB
San Francisco Giants: for their fold-up job against the Arizona Diamondbacks over the weekend. This was a huge series; they could have got into contention with a series win. Instead, they'll be facing a double-digit deficit in the next couple of days. Maybe they wanted to get back at the Dodgers a different way. Either way, they get thrown under the Bus.
Manny Ramirez: he all but challenged the Red Sox to trade him.(Rumors are the Dodgers and Mets are interested.) Boston's feeling the pressure of the Yankees and having to defend their world title. A Yankees win tonight and they're tied with Boston, 2 games back of the Tampa Bay Rays. (And who'd have thunk both Boston and New York would be chasing the Rays this late in the season?) For his "Manny being Manny" outburst and causing dissension among the ranks, ManRam gets thrown Under The Bus.
NFL
Donte Nicholson, S, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: the reserve safety was Tasered twice and was arrested during a weekend scuffle at a St. Petersburg nightclub. How many times do athletes need to be reminded that NOTHING good happens after 2 AM (unless you’re getting lucky)? This came on the heels of his roommate getting arrested as he was trying to reenter the club when it was closing. You can think about what you did as you’re getting thrown under the Bus.
Brett Favre: he didn't report to Packers' training camp today. This ongoing saga is getting pretty tiresome. You shouldn't have retired in the first place. You should have done what you did last April: told the Packers that you're coming back. Ted Thompson deserves some of the blame for this for allegedly rushing your decision. But only you can make that decision to retire or not, Brett. For creating a media circus, you get thrown under the Bus.
AUTO RACING
Danica Patrick: she was unapologetic for her cat fight with Milka Duno. Of course she was. She thinks she's right about EVERYTHING. Then I’ll be unapologetic for a repeat of last week in getting her punk #### thrown under the Bus.
GOLF
Michelle Wie: ENOUGH of playing against the men already!! You’re nothing more than a freak show now. YOU’RE A JOKE! No sooner than her disqualification took place she announced she’ll be playing against the men again. It’s old and tired, just like you are. The Diva of the LPGA Tour gets thrown under the Bus again.
Andrew Giuliani: this little punk sued Duke University for being kicked off the golf team. You had a CAREER winning percentage of LESS than 20%. Numbers don’t lie, kid. If I were the coach, I’d have kicked you off the team, too. Your impact on college golf was miniscule, like your winning percentage. And I don’t give a rat’s #### if you’re the son of America’s Mayor. While I won’t throw you under the bus for attempting to make Duke’s golf team as a walk-on, I will throw you under the Bus for clogging up the court system with your frivolous lawsuit and for acting like a whiny little baby.
Thank you, Miss. You're doing a great job this week. Now on to the other fans that are itching for their opportunity.
It's that time of week again. The time of week that you, the Joe Six-Pack Fan, get a chance to vent your ire at a team, individual, coach, league, or anything else related to sports by throwing them Under The Bus. Without further adieu, here goes.
NFL
The Brett Favre Saga: is there anyone else besides me that is tired of all the drama? There is enough blame to go around there. Ted Thompson made a HUGE mistake in basically telling a legend he's not wanted in Green Bay. Thompson should have told him to take his time and if you feel like coming back, you're our starter. Ted Thompson gets thrown under the Bus, the media get thrown under the Bus, and Favre gets thrown under the Bus for flip-flopping.
"Pundits and Fans" that dismiss the Carolina Panthers: I would NOT sleep on the Panthers this year. Jake Delhomme looks like the Delhomme of old, the Cats had an excellent draft, and they picked up some key free agents. Jonathan Stewart is going to be a beast and he'll fit perfectly into the Panthers' power running game. The defense will be much improved. The "pundits and fans" get thrown under the Bus.
MLB
Oakland A's: they were still in contention when they traded Joe Blanton to Philadelphia for three minor leaguers. They have effectively waved the white flag. They have become the France of the MLB. In the last year, they have traded Dan Haren, Rich Harden, and Blanton. That’s three-fifths of an outstanding pitching staff. A LOT of teams would kill to have those kinds of pitchers and that staff. Now comes word that the A’s are considering trading stud closer Huston Street. WTF? The ownership should be ashamed of themselves. Charles Finley would NEVER have waved the white flag. He’d have never traded Blanton and Rich Harden; instead, he’d have found what he needed and filled those needs. I hereby throw the A’s small-minded ownership under the Bus. If I'm an A's fan, I'd be ROYALLY PISSED.
Alex Rodriguez: he left the All-Star Game early and didn’t support his teammates as the game dragged on and on and on. Derek Jeter stayed and supported his AL teammates. So did Mariano Rivera. I find it kind of funny the game lasted 15 innings and very few, if any, people showed up to Rodriguez’ party he was hosting after the game. Would Willie Mays or Bob Gibson have left an All-Star Game early? I don’t think so. A-Rod goes under the Bus.
NBA
Alonzo Mourning: he gave a benefit for charity that only raised 30 cents on the dollar due to the influx of celebrities and their perks. Sounds to me it was an excuse to party. Non profits that donate 70 cents on the dollar is considered efficient as per the IRS. But 30 cents? Hmmm, something fishy here. While I won’t throw him under the bus for wanting to raise money for charity, I will throw him under the bus for the inefficiency of his charity.
AUTO RACING
Danica Patrick: her act is getting old and tired. She was involved in yet ANOTHER confrontation, this time with Milka Duno. A cat fight. The IRL should seriously consider parking her and her team for a race. She can get away with this #### because NO ONE in the IRL has the BALLS to stop her. Someone should sit her down and tell her, "Next time this happens princess, you're getting parked for a race." Duno should have ####-slapped Patrick and IRL look the other way. Her #### is ####-slapped under the Bus.
GOLF
Michelle Wie: just when I was starting to buy stock in you again, you pull some boneheaded #### like forgetting to sign the scorecard and getting DQ'd while you were in contention for your first win. A good finish would have comfortably put you in the top 80, meaning an automatic LPGA Tour card and not having to rely on sponsor's exemptions. There is NO excuse for forgetting to sign your scorecard. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? At the very least, you learned a painful and expensive lesson. Maybe being introduced to the tire tracks of the Bus you're to be thrown under will serve as a reminder NOT to forget TO SIGN YOUR SCORECARD!!!
I am from Central California. I am passionate about sports, particularly the NFL and NASCAR. My favorite teams are: Panthers (NFL), Lakers (NBA), Flyers (NHL), and Dodgers (MLB). I am also a Kevin Harvick fan in NASCAR. I am a Fresno State honk. (I'll admit it!) And I am also a fan of MMA. Jackie Robinson to this day represents what is right about baseball. I also enjoy discussing the relevant (and sometimes irrelevant) issues of the day pertaining to sports. I will never understand why televised poker is so popular. Who wants to see a bunch of people sitting around a table, muttering to themselves? I do my best to keep politics out of my sports discussions. That is why I recently created a nonsports blog, cencalscribe. blogspot.com. That is where I post my nonsports topics.