Around the world of the NFL faster than the Raiders blowing a fourth quarter lead, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you in high-def intensity, Week 4 of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Sit back and enjoy!
THE GOOD
New York Jets: did Brett Favre turn the clock back 15 years? SIX TD passes! This was the first time the Jets turned him loose. He came within one TD pass of matching the NFL record. Talk about a shootout! If you love offense, this game was for you! It was a high-speed, high-def shootout at the OK Corral won by the J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!, 56-35. Not to be outdone, Kurt Warner passed for nearly 500 yards in the defeat.
Kansas City Chiefs: they earned their first win of the season against the previously unbeaten Denver Broncos. First of all, it was surprising the Chiefs won to begin with. But the way they won was even more surprising: forcing four Denver turnovers and taking advantage of them. Larry Johnson was a stud, gashing the Broncos for 198 yards on 28 carries, including a 65-yarder that set up a TD.
Washington Redskins: going into Big D and putting a beatdown on the Cowboys will get you into this category every single time. Make no mistake, that was a beatdown administered by the Redskins. Yes, the margin of victory was only 2 points, but the game wasn't even that close. Only because the Redskins played prevent defense was it even that close. They enjoyed a nearly 2 to 1 advantage in TOP. Once again, they did not commit a turnover, remaining the only team in the NFL to not commit a turnover this season.
Tennessee Titans: they put a beatdown on a good Minnesota team to the tune of four turnovers. The Titans scored all their TDs off Minnesota turnovers. The defense also registered four sacks and an INT.
Carolina Panthers: could this be shades of the 2003 season? Steve Smith making big plays, Muhsin Muhammad making big catches to move the chains, Jake Delhomme making the passes he needed. Delhomme completed 20 of 29 for 294 yards and 2 TDs. Jonathan Stewart did his best Stephen Davis impression, scoring on an 8 yard TD run. The defense pitched in with two sacks, and limited the Falcons' potent offense to 268 yards.
Chicago Bears: their defense is playing at the level of a few years ago, when they made it to Super Bowl 42. Very tough and swarming. And that goal-line stand! That turned the momentum of the game Chicago's way. Kyle Orton threw for three TDs, all in the first half. Matt Forte kept the chains moving, something they haven't had since Thomas Jones a few years ago.
New Orleans Saints: Deuce McAllister is healthy. Great news for Saints fans, bad news for the rest of the league. McAllister moved the chains and set up Drew Brees to make huge plays. When this team is completely healthy, and they will be by their bye week, this team can be a Super Bowl contender. The Saints' defense had six sacks of J.T. O'Sullivan, and forced three turnovers.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Diego Chargers, Buffalo Bills.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is listed first for a reason--THEY SUCK. This is a historically bad team, bad enough that it cost Scott Linehan his job 1/4 of the way into the season. As long as they remain winless, they'll be the first team listed in the Bad category.
Cincinnati Bengals: while this team is a mess, it's not at the level of the Rams, yet. They lost the Battle of Ohio to a slightly less woeful team in the Cleveland Browns. They'll be right behind the Rams for this week, only because the Detroit Lions had a bye.
Oakland Raiders: to say they are a dysfunctional team is like saying the sun rises from the east. They have put the "dys" in dysfunctional. And it's not the team per se; they play hard and sell out for Lane Kiffin. They don't know how to win. You can go on and on about how much Al Davis has contributed to the game, and he has. But his time has come and gone. The downfall of this team started when he let Jon Gruden go. When the Raiders are good, the league is much better for it. Now Kiffin wants to change the losing culture, and he and Davis are butting heads. They had a chance to choke out the Chargers and didn't. They could be 2-2 or even 3-1, but they're 1-3 instead.
San Francisco 49ers: what a horrid display they put on against the Saints. This was supposed to be a good test. They failed miserably. They failed to account for Deuce McAllister, who repeatedly moved the chains, setting up Drew Brees to burn the Niners' secondary for huge plays. The vaunted Gold Rush was fool's gold against the Saints, not registering a sack and putting very little pressure on Brees.
Denver Broncos: what the hell was that, losing to a previously winless team? Not only that, they put a BEATDOWN on your ####. The less said about you, the better. Now go play with the other mediocre teams and stop posing as a playoff team, because you're not.
THE UGLY
Cleveland at Cincinnati: any time two winless teams match up, it goes into this category. Someone HAD to win, might as well have been Cleveland.
Denver Broncos: this team played so pathetic and lackluster they get put in TWO categories this week. FOUR turnovers? Against one of the WORST defenses in the NFL? Yes, they outgained Kansas City, but most of that yardage came in garbage time, well after the outcome had been decided. Actually, three categories--I've added a FUGLY category for the Broncos.
Green Bay Packers: another team posing as a playoff team. Like Denver, the Pack committed four turnovers, only against a very good defense. I'll go easier on them, only because they were playing a very good Tampa Bay defense.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to chime in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Reggie Bush turning the corner and gaining huge yardage, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you, the avid NFL fan, this week's version of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Surf and Turf style. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Dallas Cowboys: they went into Lambeau Field and totally throttled a very good Packers team for the nation to see. The Cowboys may have found a #2 receiver in Miles Austin. And their X-Factor so far? Felix Jones. All this guy does is make big plays. For all the talk of the Cowboys' offense, their defense is big, strong, fast, and PHYSICAL. They beat up the Packers into submission.
Miami Dolphins: for a team that was 1-15 last season, they have already matched their win total from last season. RB/QB Ronnie Brown threw as many TD passes than Matt Cassel. Not to mention gashing the Patriots' defense for FOUR rushing TDs. Ricky Williams got into the act, rushing for close to 100 yards (98, to be exact).
Jacksonville Jaguars: to go into Indianapolis and beat the Colts is DEFINITELY good. This was a must win game for the Jags.
Philadelphia Eagles: they pounded a very good Steelers team into submission. Jim Johnson threw everything at the Steelers, including the kitchen sink. I think the sink got a sack in that game. The Eagles recorded nine sacks and a safety. Totally dominating. Not to be overlooked was the punting of Sav Rocca, who kept the Steelers pinned deep in their own territory, allowing the Eagles to keep the pressure on Roethlisberger and the Steelers.
New York Giants: they survived a close, hard-fought game with the Cincinnati Bengals at home, doing what they needed to prevail. They showed the heart of a champion in defeating the Bengals and keeping their undefeated record intact.
Cincinnati Bengals: I'm going to break with tradition and put them in the Good category, despite losing. They went toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champs and went to overtime before losing. Could they take this game and use it as motivation to turn around their season? Only time will tell.
San Diego Chargers: they won a wild shootout against the New York Jets, bringing back memories of Air Coryell. The Chargers punted only once in the game, meaning Mike Scifres had time to check out the hot babes in the stands. Good win by the Bolts.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins, Denver Broncos.
THE BAD
Kansas City Chiefs: these guys are threatening to make this category their permanent home. Granted, they lost to a good Atlanta Falcons team, but they weren't competitive. This team is God-awful BAD.
Detroit Lions: bad, bad team. They were outmatched and outclassed by an up and coming 49ers team.
St. Louis Rams: nothing like some Lamb Chops for the Seattle Seahawks to fatten up on. The Hawks are still licking their chops after that sumptuous meal.
New England Patriots: this team is in SERIOUS trouble. Their defense is old, slow, and a shell of what they were five years ago. Miami just pushed them around the field and b-slapped them all day long.
Cleveland Browns: losing to a rookie QB is bad enough. But they were not competitive. There should have been a DefCon 5 alert for the citizens of Baltimore due to Derek Anderson stinking up the joint so badly. He was BRUTAL.
THE UGLY
Carolina Panthers: Jake Delhomme lost TWO fumbles, one that directly led to a TD. The defense turned journeyman Gus Frerotte into Joe FREAKING Montana. Was that Gus Frerotte or Joe Montana back there? The coaching staff abandoned the run early in the game when it was working. The Panthers also shot themselves in the feet too many times by committing numerous penalties. In short, the Panthers sleepwalked through the entire game. They weren't ready to play. My question is: did someone spike the Panthers' water with Lunesta?
Houston Texans: Matt Schaub threw three picks, including a Pick Six Special to Cortland Finnegan with 1:17 remaining in the game. Finnegan returned the gift a franchise record 99 yards to put the game away. Schaub was BRUTAL, going 17 for 37 for 188 yards.
Those are my Week 3 nominees. Feel free to come in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Ed Hochuli's whistle, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
New York Giants: they thoroughly dominated a hapless St. Louis Rams. Good teams are supposed to dominate teams like the Rams, and the Giants did so. DE Justin Tuck's Pick Six Special was particularly impressive.
Tennessee Titans: boy, was I ever wrong about this team! The Titans' defense stuffed the Bengals' offense like a Thanksgiving turkey. To hold Carson Palmer to 134 yards passing is especially impressive. Great job by the Titans' defense.
Buffalo Bills: another team I was wrong about. To go into Jacksonville and beat a Jaguars team many thought could reach the Super Bowl, awesome. Trent Edwards was stellar, completing 20 of 25 for 239 yards and a TD.
Green Bay Packers: they ran and passed on the Lions at will, to the tune of 447 total yards and 48 points. Aaron Rodgers continues to prove that the Packers' brass made the right decision, completing 24 of 38 for 328 yards and 3 TDs.
Carolina Panthers: I put them in this category because of their comeback from a 17-3 deficit to win 20-17. Jonathan Stewart continues to impress, scoring twice, the last one coming with less than 4 minutes left in the game. The Panthers' defense rose to the occasion in the second half, stuffing Aaron McKie on a fourth and short to seal the deal.
Dallas Cowboys: they took advantage of two gigantic plays: a 72-yard TD pass from Tony Romo to Terrell Owens, and a 98-yard kickoff return from Felix Jones, both in the first half. While the Eagles moved the ball up and down the field, the Cowboys' defense stiffened up when it mattered. DeMarcus Ware showed why he's an All-Pro, not giving up on the play and sacking Donovan McNabb on the Eagles' final possession. They join the Giants, Panthers, Packers, and Cardinals as 2-0 teams in the NFC.
Washington Redskins: they beat a (battered) New Orleans Saints team many (myself included) predicted to reach the Super Bowl. Jason Campbell picked apart the Saints' defense to the sweet, jazzy tune of 24 of 36 for 321 yards and a late 67-yard bomb to Santana Moss that provided the winning margin.
Oakland Raiders: Darren McFadden broke out in a HUGE way. Subbing for the injured Justin Fargas, McFadden rushed for 164 yards on 21 carries and a TD. He also broke off a 50-yard run. They thoroughly dominated the hapless Chiefs in Arrowhead, rushing for 300 yards as a team.
Honorable Mention: Indianapolis Colts, San Francisco 49ers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is GOD-AWFUL bad. They will be LUCKY to win 2 games this season. In fact, they will be competing for the first overall selection in the 2009 draft. They have become the Clippers of the NFL.
Kansas City Chiefs: another awful team, though not as bad as the Rams. Losing at home and getting dominated will get you in this category every single time.
Seattle Seahawks: how could you dominate a team like San Francisco, yet let the game get away from you? And at home, no less? Losing to the 49ers at home gets you in this category every single time.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is HORRID. No wonder they have Halloween colors; watching this team is a horror show in itself. They will be competing with the Rams for the #1 overall selection in the 2009 draft.
THE UGLY
Pittsburgh at Cleveland: this was a Sunday Night Snoozefest. Missed passes. Dropped balls. A lack of execution by both teams. Granted, it was very windy because of the remnants of Hurricane Ike, but you're pros, you should adapt to the conditions. Either both defenses played stellar, or both offenses were sloppy. I'll bank on the latter. Pittsburgh's defense played better, with Troy Polamalu picking off a Derek Anderson pass to stop a Cleveland drive. Aside from Big Ben's 31-yard TD pass to Hines Ward, he was pedestrian.
Oakland at Kansas City: this was a game between two teams that are biding their time until they set up tee times after Week 17. Another yawnfest.
Ed Hochuli: I have to put him in here because he BLEW three calls, ALL of them shafting the Chargers. He was subsequently graded down by the NFL office.
Those are my nominees for Week 2. Feel free to come in with yours!
It's that time of week again, sports fans. Time to call out the object of your ire that has gotten you upset for good reason. It can be a player, team, coach, owner, official, league exec, or fans of another team by throwing them under the Bus. The lovely young lady will take your requests and call out their names. Then they will be thrown under that Bus. I have a few this week.
NFL
Kansas City Chiefs: what kind of effort was that? To lose to the Raiders 23-8, and at home, no less? I thought the Raiders were bad, but this team is THE worst in the NFL. Time for Clark Hunt to blow this team up and start over. In the meantime, the Chiefs get thrown under the Bus. NO ONE is exempt this week.
Ed Hochuli: he blew not one, not two, but THREE calls that cost the Chargers. He's usually one of the best referees in the business, but he was clearly not on his A game. Particuarly galling was the "fumble" that he ruled an incomplete pass when Jay Cutler CLEARLY fumbled it and San Diego recovered. That cost the Chargers the game, as all they would have had to do was kneel down. You're my favorite referee, but because you cost a team a game, I've gotta throw you Under The Bus.
NASCAR
Michael McDowell: he couldn't seem to stay out of the way. In particular, he couldn't stay out of AJ Allmendinger's way. He dumped Allmendinger into the wall as Allmendinger was struggling to stay in the top 35 in owners' points. IMO, he's becoming a dirty racer, and payback will come at some point. In the meantime, I'll give the keys of the Bus to Allmendinger so he can put McDowell in the wall as payback.
That's all I have for this week. I'll turn it over to the fans to submit their objects of their ire.
My series concludes with the AFC North and AFC West.
AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh Steelers: the NFL schedule makers did them NO favors. They play the toughest schedule in the league this year. However, they have lots of talent on both sides of the ball, and they have a year under head coach Mike Tomlin. While their schedule is tough, it will prepare them for the games within their division. Predicted record: 9-7, division champion, #4 seed.
Cleveland Browns: suddenly they have QB issues with Derek Anderson's concussion. While they are going to score a lot of points, who are they going to stop? Jamal Lewis is a year older. Aside from Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow, who do they throw the ball to? Too many questions, and not enough answers. This team takes a step backward. Predicted record: 7-9, no playoffs.
Baltimore Ravens: another team with QB issues. Troy Smith is recovering from an infection in which he lost 20 lbs. Kyle Boller is on injured reserve. Joe Flacco is the Week 1 starter. Jonathan Ogden retired, and his next stop is Canton. However, they still have a semblance of a defense, enough to stay out of the division cellar. Predicted record: 5-11, no playoffs.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team has more issues than a hooker in a confessional booth. Where should we start? Chad Johnson? The bad seeds? Ownership? Marvin Lewis? Too many issues, and not enough leadership to overcome these issues. Carson Palmer is solid, but he alone will not be enough to overcome these issues. This team will be one of the worst teams in the NFL. Predicted record: 3-13, no playoffs.
AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers: this team is LOADED. Even with a gimpy Shawne Merriman, the defense is incredible. Big, strong, and FAST. Philip Rivers is a year older and (hopefully) a year more mature. They still have LT. Every piece is in place for a Super Bowl championship. Predicted record: 14-2, #1 seed, division, conference, and Super Bowl Champion.
Denver Broncos: Jay Cutler has another year under his belt. Now that he's been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, he can take steps to stay strong throughout the season. Selwyn Young can be a very good back. The defense has picked up a new scheme under new defensive coordinator Bob Slowik. However, they are rebuilding, and it will take time. But they are on the right track. Predicted record: 8-8, no playoffs.
Oakland Raiders: if Al Davis and Lane Kiffin can stop their bickering like an old married couple, they have the semblance of a halfway decent team. I think Davis STILL wants to coach the team. Kiffin wanted to fire Rob Ryan, but Davis blocked it. Now Ryan can stick his tongue out at Kiffin, and snicker his teehees under his breath, knowing he can't be fired. Back to the Raiders for a minute. They have a solid ground game, led by Justin Fargas. The O-line is improved. JaMarcus Russell will go through some growing pains, but he has the potential to be a very good QB. The defense needs to gell and is a question mark, particularly at stopping the run. Another year of struggling by the Raiders. Predicted record: 6-10, no playoffs.
Kansas City Chiefs: this team is going through more rebuilding and renovating than Las Vegas did in the 80's and 90's. Brodie Croyle at QB? Ugh. Where's Daunte Culpepper? At least HE'S a proven starter! They still have LJ, but he's going to get hammered more often than a drunk on a three-day bender. Yes, the O-line is THAT bad. And don't even get me started on the defense. While they have some good young players, they lack experience. The gap between the veterans and youngsters is huge. If the Chiefs were Las Vegas, they would be Vegas circa 1986. Predicted record, 4-12, no playoffs.
I'm hearing JT the Brick and Jay Glazer broke the news that Jared Allen has been traded from the Kansas City Chiefs to the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings give up the #17 overall pick, two third-rounders this year, and switch positions in the sixth round this year with the Chiefs. Allen has agreed to a contract with the Vikings worth just under $74 million for six years, with $31,000,069 in guaranteed money. This is the richest contract signed by a defensive player in NFL history.
This is a pretty steep price to pay, but Allen is one of the best DEs in the NFL. While Allen does come with baggage, he has been on the straight and narrow and continues to strive to do what is right. An already strong Minnesota defensive line got even stronger. Will this be enough to put the Vikings over the top in the NFC North? That remains to be seen, but they have greatly improved their defense with the acquisition of Allen.
What say you? I welcome any comments, especially from Chiefs and Vikings fans.
NOTE: The story will be up on the Fox Sports site shortly.
Around the world of the NFL faster than Andre Davis taking not one, but TWO kickoff returns to The House, Crappafoni Pictures presents, spaghetti western style, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Week 17.
THE GOOD
New England Patriots: what more can be said? Perfection. 16-0. And the way they beat the Giants is the stuff legends are made of. Tom Brady got sharper as the game went on. But the playoffs are a totally different animal. The Pats better be prepared to win when they score in the teens.
Carolina Panthers: as has been a recent tradition under John Fox, the Cats went out and won their last game of the season on the road. Matt Moore was efficient, throwing for 174 yards and 2 TDs. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 121 yards and a TD. Granted, Tampa Bay was resting its starters after the first half of the game, but a win is a win, and the Cats will take it.
Washington Redskins: was that a DOMINATING defensive performance, or WHAT? The Skins defense held the Cowboys to one yard rushing. FOR THE GAME. Watching the game, I could sense the late Sean Taylor encouraging his mates; they played very inspired ball, particularly on defense. I saw the Redskins' D-line pushing the Cowboys' O-line around all game long. Now they're on to Seattle, and I think it's a very winnable game for the Redskins.
Green Bay Packers: they put an ####-kicking on the Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLLLions, plain and simple. They seemed to shake the hangover of the loss to the Bears from their systems.
Tennessee Titans: they got it done, on the road, in a hostile environment, minus Vince Young for the last third of the game. Granted, it was against the Colts' second and third string, but a win is a win in the NFL. Kerry Collins was sharp, keeping the chains moving, and extending drives. Now they're on to San Diego next weekend.
Atlanta Falcons: one of the rare times this season I've put them in the Good category. They did beat a playoff team, and scoreboard is everything in the NFL.
Houston Texans: or more specifically, Andre Davis. He returned two kickoffs to The House in a 42-28 win over Jacksonville. The Texans finished 8-8 for the first time in franchise history. The AFC South is the only division to have all four of its teams finish .500 or better.
THE BAD
Dallas Cowboys: one of the REALLY rare times (maybe the ONLY time this season) I've put them in the Bad category. They proceeded to set a franchise low for yards rushing in a game: ONE yard. Thirty-six inches. Three feet. That broke the previous low of seven yards set in 1998 against New Orleans. Tony Romo was not sharp. The Redskins' defense had a lot to do with that. The Cowboys' O-line was pushed around by the stout Redskins' D-line all game long.
St. Louis Rams: I know you wanted the season to end, but I didn't realize how desperate you were to finish it. They threw in the towel and were ready for their tee times. Now you're picking second overall.
Miami Dolphins: you were watching the back of Chad Johnson all game long as he was blowing by you. Ocho Cinco took a short pass and took it to The House from 70 yards away. You couldn't WAIT for the season to end; it couldn't end soon enough. Now comes the inevitable purging by The Big Tuna, Bill Parcells.
Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLLions: you, too, couldn't wait for the season to end. Ford Field will be a ghost town come tomorrow as the players can't leave fast enough. Many of them will be attending their alma maters' bowl games. Others will be taking a much-needed vacation. Still several others have played their last game in a LLLLLLLLLions' uniform, as they will either be released or leave via free agency.
THE UGLY
Kansas City at N.Y. Jets: this epic battle of bad teams was compounded by this game going into overtime. What, did neither team WANT to win?
Buffalo at Philadelphia: a 17-9 yawnfest played in rainy, chilly weather. It would be one thing if both teams were in the playoffs. But neither team is in the playoffs.
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Will Blackmon returns for TDs, Crappafoni Pictures presents for you the fan, in living color, the NFL version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Green Bay Packers: they dismantled the Oakland Raiders in every aspect of the game. Will Blackmon was the special teams stud, returning a punt and a fumble for a touchdown. Blackmon became the first player since 1974 and only the fourth in NFL history to return a punt and fumble for a touchdown in the same game. The Pack amassed 445 total yards for the game and dominated the game from start to finish.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they were dominant in beating a Panthers team that basically gave up from the second quarter on. More on that later.
Dallas Cowboys' final drive: the 'Boys were lucky when Paris Lenon kicked the ball to Andre Gurode. If Lenon just falls on the ball, Detroit wins and gets put in the Good category. Lenon's colossal mistake gave Tony Romo new life, and he took advantage of it.
New England Patriots: way to shut up Anthony Smith! Tom Brady is now within a few TD passes of breaking Peyton Manning's single season record of 49. They went so far ahead of Pittsburgh that the Steelers became a one-dimensional team.
Seattle Seahawks: they looked sharp in dismantling Arizona. With five picks, the defense made several big plays, nothing bigger than in the third quarter after Arizona recovered an onside kick. They will be formidable in the postseason, regardless of where they play.
Indianapolis Colts: they are making this game look too easy. The first quarter isn't even over and they're winning 21-0 against the Ravens.
Houston Texans: simply put, they administered a beatdown to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For some inexplicable reason, they do well against NFC teams.
Denver Broncos: I couldn't forget the Broncos' thrashing of Kansas City. They outgained the Chiefs 453 to 129. The Broncos rushed for 215 yards. They led in time of possession by nearly 10 minutes. They forced three turnovers and didn't commit a turnover. A complete game like that will get you in the Good category every single time.
THE BAD
Carolina Panthers: this may have been one of the worst games the franchise has ever played. They were outgained in total yards 457 to 149. The Jags had the ball nearly twice as long as the Kittens. They were so ineffective that Vinny Testaverde was pulled for Matt Moore. This is a team that gave up in the second quarter. I'd have granted that they would probably lose, but I expected a better effort than this!!
San Francisco 49ers: granted, they did lose to the Vikings, a playoff-caliber team. But they were THRASHED. And on their home turf, no less. FIVE turnovers?? Trent Dilfer was knocked woozy by a Vikings' defense that forced those five turnovers.
Miami Dolphins: 0-13 and counting. Three more and you make history in reverse!! Buffalo just did you again. And with games against New England, Baltimore, and Cincinnati, you just might do it.
THE UGLY
Kansas City Chiefs: this is one of those bad games that you just forget about and go on. Every team has one of those, except New England. I can imagine that the Kansas City Film Festival will supply the filmgoers with PLENTY of Maalox and Pepto-Bismol.
Pittsburgh Steelers: it started with Mr. Motormouth, Anthony Smith, guaranteeing a Steelers victory. Son, don't write checks with your mouth that your #### can't cash. There were several breakdowns in the secondary in this game.
Cleveland at N.Y. Jets: it seemed like the Browns wanted to let the Jets win this game. The Jets hung in this game FAR TOO LONG. The Browns should have won by AT LEAST TWO TDs. Cleveland was fortunate to escape with a win.
Carolina Panthers: see Bad category.
Those are my nominations for Week 14. Your nominations are appreciated. Thanks for reading and responding.
Scanning the world of the NFL, there are no shortage of players, teams, coaches, fans, owners, and officials to throw Under The Bus (Jerome Bettis Limited Edition, 850 hp). Football fans everywhere, you are welcome to chime in with your nominations! I have a few nominations myself.
NFL
The officiating crew in the Denver-Kansas City game: for giving Brandon Marshall a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after Marshall's rendition of "Let It Snow, Let It Snow." Marshall had just caught a TD pass from Jay Cutler and was throwing snow high in the air in celebration of a TD. He wasn't showing ANYONE up!! If he's taunting a KC defender, THEN you throw the flag! Officials, Under The Bus you all go! I'll add the NFL Rules Committee to be thrown Under The Bus as well.
Anthony Smith: this genius guaranteed a Steelers' victory over the Patriots earlier in the week. So what does he do for an encore? He gives up THREE TD passes!! Not ONE, not TWO, but THREE. As I write, 54fulltiltfulltime is having a whole pot of chilled crow delivered to one Anthony Smith. For this foolish guarantee, Anthony Smith gets thrown where? Under The Bus!!!
Carolina Panthers: embarassing. While J-ville is a good, but not great, team, I expected a MUCH better effort from the Kittens. ONE HUNDRED FORTY-NINE TOTAL YARDS?? WORSE THAN PATHETIC!!! Not only that, but J-ville amassed 427 yards in total offense. Time for Fox to go and be replaced by Bill Cowher. Give Cowher total control of the football operations. For this God-awful "effort", the Kittens get thrown Under The Bus.
Detroit Lions defense: it is inexcusable blowing a 13-point lead in the fourth quarter! The Lions' offense played well enough to put an ####-kicking on the Cowboys' defense. If the defense played half as well as the offense, the Cowboys would be tied with the Packers at 11-2. Paris Lenon had a chance to put the game away with a fumble recovery, but he tried to scoop it up and deflected the ball to Andre Gurode of the Cowboys. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS FALL ON THE F-ING BALL AND THE LIONS WIN!!! IS THAT SO HARD TO DO?? Instead, Tony Romo completes a clutch fourth down pass on the next play to keep the drive alive. The Lions' defense gets thrown Under The Bus.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: I've been propping you guys for most of the year, and you reward me with THIS?? A beatdown administered by the Houston Texans' second-string QB? I can see this if it were the Cowboys or Packers putting the beatdown on the Bucs. But the TEXANS??? The Bucs get thrown Under The Bus.
ESPN: for single-handedly making Monday Night Football irrelevant. You have matchups like New Orleans-Atlanta?? Which Head #### decided that this would be a compelling matchup? The Four-Letter gets thrown Under The Bus.
NFL schedule makers: for putting another couple of overexposed NFC East teams on NBC next Sunday night: Washington Redskins vs. New York Giants. The Redskins' playoff hopes are BARELY on life support. A MUCH better matchup would be Buffalo at Cleveland. Admit it NBC, you have a bias towards Eastern teams from the Eastern Seaboard no matter how BAD THEY SUCK (NY Giants, Washington, Philly, New England). Just get it done and sign an exclusive contract with the NFC East. So Under The Bus you go!
NBA
New York Knicks: too much drama. Between Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury, it would be too much for even the most hard-core Knicks fans to handle. There WAS a time when the Knicks were a well-run franchise among the NBA's elite. It's going to take Thomas' departure, either by firing or resignation, plus some very good personnel moves, to make this franchise good again.
That's all I have for now. I have expanded this to include all sports. Feel free to come in with your nominations!!!
I almost didn't write this blog due to it being Thanksgiving week. But as I saw a lot of college and pro football this weekend, I saw numerous teams and coaches that deserved to be thrown under the bus. I'll give you a few of mine that deserve to be thrown under the Bus (Jerome Bettis Limited Edition, 800 hp)
NFL
Carolina Panthers: will you guys PLEASE make up your mind on who's going to be the QB for the rest of the season? (Hint: it SHOULDN'T be David Carr) And will you guys SHOW SOME HEART AND NOT MAIL IN THE SEASON? Pathetic effort you guys showed out there today!!
Kansas City Chiefs: you guys lost to the woeful Oakland Raiders at HOME? Granted, the Raiders played well and earned that win, but the Chiefs treated this game and the Raiders very lightly, rather than like a playoff game.
Tennessee Titans: what in the HELL was that effort? It was VERY Pantheresque! Your offense scored ONLY six points against one of the WORST defenses in the NFL? Granted, the Bengals still have one of the league's better offenses, although they have struggled lately. SIX points against a PATHETIC defense?? UNDER THE BUS YOU GO!!
St. Louis Rams: they came from ahead to lose to a bitter division rival in the Seattle Seahawks. Then they fumbled away one last chance with precious few seconds left in regulation and the ball on the Seahawks' ONE YARD LINE.
NCAA
LSU Tigers: why they didn't beat Arkansas by at least two TDs is beyond me. Maybe they are who we thought they were: a good, but not great, team. Maybe the rumors of Les Miles going to Michigan WERE a distraction to the Tigers' preparation.
Kansas Jayhawks: on the biggest stage perhaps in the school's history, they were flat for the first three quarters. By the time they realized they were the 2007 Kansas Jayhawks and not the 1987 Kansas Jayhawks, it was too late.
NASCAR
Carl Edwards: in an interview shortly after the season ended, he laid out his plans for 2008, which included cutting back his Nationwide Series schedule to devote more time to Sprint Cup, and he included this gem: "to bully and intimidate Matt (Kenseth) more." I'm getting tired of this guy's act. He showed his true colors when he threatened to punch Kenseth as Kenseth was giving an interview over an incident WITH EDWARDS that happened A MONTH PRIOR. I have lost a LOT of respect for him. I hope Jack Roush gets tired of his act, too. UNDER THE BUS YOU GO, CARL! Don't let the door hit you in the #### on the way down, YOU S.O.B.!!
Orlando Magic: for giving the Celtics their first defeat of the NBA season.
Kobe Bryant: for not whining lately about wanting to be traded.
Martin Brodeur: for winning his 600th game against the Flyers.
Yankees: for signing Alex Rodriguez and assuring themselves of no World Series championships for the next decade.
US military, for risking their lives to protect and keep the freedoms we cherish in the United States. Regardless of your political affiliation, next time you see a serviceman or servicewoman, thank them for their service.
Jimmy Rollins and Alex Rodriguez, for winning their respective leagues' MVPs.
Sylvia Fowles of LSU, for being the sixth woman to dunk in a women's college basketball game, against Louisiana-Lafayette.
DROPS
Any college football team that’s been #2 ranked in the season; they invariably lose.
ESPN/ABC: for their atrocious coverage of NASCAR. Thankfully Fox will have the coverage for the first part of the year, including the 50th anniversary of the Daytona 500.
Detroit area sportswriters for shameless homerism in giving Magglio Ordonez of the Tigers two first-place votes for AL MVP. These idiots ought to have their MVP voting privileges revoked IMMEDIATELY. While Ordonez had a fine year, A-Rod's was MUCH better. He singlehandedly put the Yankees on his back to lead them to the playoffs.
Adam Jones, for scuffling with Albert Haynesworth and being scum.
O.J. Simpson, for showing the world what a #### he is. If it were up to me, he'd be in the hole for a LONG time. O.J. Simpson=####.
Those are my props and drops for midweek. Come on in with your props and drops!
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Antrel Rolle Pick Six Specials, Crappafoni Pictures presents, in living color, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
THE GOOD
Arizona Cardinals: granted, they DID beat the Bungles, errrrrr, Bengals, but this team looked sharp. As stated above in the opening, Antrel Rolle had two Pick Six Specials in the game. Kurt Warner looked sharp again. Is this 2007, or 1999? Warner is playing like it WAS 1999.
New England Patriots: they are making it look too easy. They are NOT running up the score tonight; in fact, they're making every effort to call off the dogs. They're just too good right now. Even their defense is scoring TDs, as evidenced by Ellis Hobbs' 35-yard fumble return. Can New England run the table? I think they can.
New York Jets: beating one of the league's better teams will get you in the Good column every single time. They whipped the Steelers in the special teams aspect; in fact, a Leon Washington return set up the winning FG in OT.
Green Bay Packers: they are clicking on all cylinders now, and now they have discovered a running game. They beat an outmanned Panthers team minus Steve Smith (on a good note for the Panthers, they have discovered a #2 receiver in Dwayne Jarrett). Brett Favre is probably having the best season of his illustrious and stellar career. He has young studs that he can throw to, and young studs that can tote the rock, and young studs up front to protect him. This team is going to be an elite team for the next 3-5 years.
Dallas Cowboys: Tony Romo has been playing much better since his contract extension. He proved it by throwing for four TDs to Terrell Owens. Speaking of Owens, he's been a MUCH happier guy since Romo has become the Cowboys' starting QB. And the Cowboys have become a much better team since RomoCop took the helm.
Jacksonville Jaguars: or more specifically, Maurice Jones-Drew. I put him in here because he LIT UP Shawne Merriman on a blitz. He decleated Merriman; that allowed David Garrard to throw a TD pass.
Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens: this was one of the most bizarre, wackiest, and best games you'll ever see. Joshua Cribbs accounted for OVER 300 return yards, the first time that's happened in 34 years. But it was the 52-yard FG at the end of regulation that has people talking. That's going to be talked about as one of the most bizarre plays in NFL history. And it just may be the impetus to send Cleveland to the playoffs this season.
THE BAD
Pittsburgh Steelers: you lost to the J!E!T!S! SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!? What the HELL was that?? And just when you were going to become permanent residents of Goodville, you toss in this rotten egg!!
San Francisco 49ers: NO TDs in the last two-plus games? The 2000 Ravens offense thinks you're pathetic. The St. Louis Rams made some big plays on defense to get this win.
Miami Dolphins: still NO wins! You'll be in this column from here until you get your first win, which will be sometime next season. Granted, John Beck made his first start against a tough Eagles' defense. Unfortunately for the Dolphins, they only have one winnable game, against the Jets.
THE UGLY
Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks: last year or two years ago, this was a great matchup. Now it's between a bad team and mediocre team. It seemed like neither team wanted it that bad. Yecccccch!
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts: 13-10? It was an ugly win, but in the NFL, you don't get style points. Indy won, bottom line.
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Darren Sproles returns for touchdowns, Crappafoni Pictures presents the Spaghetti Western NFL version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Cleveland at Pittsburgh: this was one of the better games on the docket today. Derek Anderson threw for 3 TDs and Joshua Cribbs took one to the house for 100 yards. The Browns jumped out to a huge lead in the first half and it looked like they were going to steal one in the Burgh. The Steelers coaching staff made the necessary adjustments and shut down the Browns' potent offense. Big Ben's 30-yard TD run swung the momentum the Steelers' way. The Steelers rallied and won a HUGE divisional game.
Dallas Cowboys: they keep getting better each week. After falling behind early, the defense clamped down, and Tony Romo got into a rhythm. Any road win is huge, but to beat your division rivals on the road is doubly huge. The Meadowlands is never an easy place to win, and the 'Boys win in effect gives them a three game lead (two actual games and 2-0 against the G-men).
Green Bay Packers: pitching a shutout in the NFL is very difficult against anyone. To shut out a divisional rival deserves props. Brett Favre looks happy again; having young studs like RB Ryan Grant and WRs James Jones and Greg Jennings are a large reason why. And that defense was gunning for Adrian Peterson, eventually knocking him out of the game.
St. Louis Rams: it was bound to happen sooner or later; this team is much too talented to be 1-8. Injuries, injuries, and more injuries. Once this team is healthy, I expect them to finish strong. They put a good old-fashioned ####-kicking on the Saints. At the Superdome, no less. Marc Bulger had one of his best games of the year, passing for 302 yards and 2 TDs. Steven Jackson even threw a TD pass and ran for a TD. Torry Holt had 8 receptions for 124 yards and a TD. The Rams' defense put the clamps on the Saints. The Saints could have had a chance to tie the game late in regulation, but an onside kick slipped through Josh Bullocks' hands and went out of bounds, giving the Rams possession and preserving their first win of the season.
Denver Broncos: they dominated Kansas City at Arrowhead, forcing four turnovers. Selvin Young rushed for 109 yards and a TD. Jay Cutler had a pedestrian game, passing for 192 yards and a TD to Daniel Graham. The defense also knocked Damon Huard out of the game, forcing the Chiefs to go with Brodie Croyle.
Arizona Cardinals: they are the most schizophrenic team in the NFL. You NEVER know which Cardinals team will show up from game to game or even series to series. Today's Cardinals looked like the team that many picked to win the NFC West. Kurt Warner looked like the Kurt Warner that QB'd the Greatest Show on Turf. Leonard Pope emerged as a red-zone target for both Warner and Tim Rattay, snagging 2 TD passes. Larry Fitzgerald also snagged 2 TD passes, both from Warner. The Cardinals defense did the rest, holding the Lions to MINUS 18 yards rushing FOR THE GAME, including a minus 15 yard effort by Shaun McDonald.
San Diego Chargers: or more specifically, Antonio Cromartie and Darren Sproles. Sproles returned BOTH a kickoff and punt to the house. Sproles' 89-yard kickoff return sparked the Chargers. He later added a 45-yard punt return for a TD. Cromartie picked off Peyton Manning THREE TIMES. The Chargers' defense picked off Manning six times overall. Maybe the powder-blue uniform had something to do with this. The Chargers seem to play better when they wear their powder blues.
Philadelphia Eagles: major props to them for a gritty win at Washington. Brian Westbrook was his usual stellar self. Is it possible he's one of the most UNDERRATED RBs in the league? Reggie Brown made a GREAT TD catch, a "Look Mom, look what I found" type catch. Donovan McNabb made big plays when needed. But it was the Eagles' defense that made the difference, coming up with key stops when needed and giving the offense a chance to win.
THE BAD
Miami Dolphins: until they win a game, they will be residents of this category. This was a VERY winnable game for the Fins, and for awhile, it looked like they were going to win their first game of the season. Alas, they lost on a late FG by Rian Lindell. At one point, they led 3-2.
Minnesota Vikings: a goose egg on the scoreboard. Enough said.
Carolina Panthers: they allowed the Falcons to run the ball down their throats time and again. On the last Falcons' TD, the two Panthers' DBs looked at each other while Alge Crumpler walked into the end zone FROM 30 YARDS AWAY. This is one of the worst teams in the NFL right now. Mediocre would be a compliment.
Indianapolis Colts: yep, I have to include the defending Super Bowl champs here. Yes, they moved the ball, but SIX Peyton Manning interceptions killed their chances of winning.
Oakland Raiders: while their defense is still solid, the starting CBs are ####ed up. They need to learn how to finish games. They play well for the first 55 minutes or so, then in the last 5 minutes they let up.
THE UGLY
Chicago at Oakland: it was even at 3 entering the fourth quarter. I found it hilarious that the broadcast highlighted the Hall of Famers from both franchises. NEWSFLASH: NONE of them are playing for either franchise! Griese vs. McCown does not exactly conjure memories of Young vs. Aikman. I found myself falling asleep through this snoozefest.
Indianapolis at San Diego: this was a game that bordered on the surreal. NINE combined turnovers for two of the better teams in the AFC. Not to mention MANY missed opportunities. The two teams combined for more turnovers than you see at Rene's French Bakery. Adam Vinatieri missed two FGs, including a 29-yarder late in the game. Add in a heavy rainfall in the second half.
Come in with your nominations for the Good, Bad, and/or Ugly!
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