Perusing the world of sports, one can find many sports figures that vex you, trouble you, or get you so pissed off that you want to SCREAM. You so want to vent your ire. Here is the forum that gives you, the Joe Six-Pack Fan, a forum to vent at the object of your ire by calling them out for their idiocy, or their stupidity, or their arrogance, or whatever else pisses you off. You can do this by throwing _______ under the Bus. I have some nominees.
NFL
Matt Jones, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars: this genius was busted for blow in Arkansas. Dude, you're a marginal football player at best. You're BARELY hanging on by a thread on the Jaguars' roster. This isn't going to help, especially when Sheriff Goodell metes out his brand of justice on you. You're going to WISH you had to deal with Sheriff Joe Arpaio instead of Sheriff Goodell. For snorting away your lazy, underachieving career, you get thrown Under The Bus.
Odell Thurman, former Bengals' LB: as if pissing away your football career isn't enough, now you are being sought for an arrest warrant for felonious assault. You STILL don't get it. Perhaps when you're caught by the authorities, justice will be served on you and you'll do a LOT of time in the pokey. DON'T blame _____ for your problems. BE ACCOUNTABLE and accept the consequences for your actions. In the meantime, you get to know up close and personal the tire tracks of the Bus you are to be thrown under.
Travis Henry: as if his babymaking skills weren't enough to give him a headache, now he's facing his biggest headache of all: a possible year long suspension from the NFL for allegedly testing positive for the hippie lettuce. Is jonesing for chronic that much more important than pulling an NFL pay check? Apparently to you, it is. I don't get these imbeciles that have MAD game yet choose to #### it all away for one reason or another. For pissing your career away due to the chronic and all that baby making, you get thrown Under The Bus.
NBA
Los Angeles Clippers: they had a great chance in the offseason to become a legitimate power in the Western Conference. Or at the very least improve themselves. They did neither. They let their franchise player, Elton Brand, go to Philadelphia. They let their second best player, Corey Maggette, flee to Golden State. At least they did sign Baron Davis, but he alone won't be enough. This is why they are the Lakers' JV team and deserve to play at the Sports Arena rather than the Staples Center. Hell, the Lakers' D-league team could probably beat the Clippers. For being the Clippers and being the face of front office ineptitude, the Clippers front office gets thrown Under The Bus.
NASCAR
J.J. Yeley: his #96 team was caught cheating prior to the LifeLock.com 400. Did someone on that team call Bill Belichick for some cheating advice? NASCAR assessed Yeley a drive through penalty at the start of the race. He did recover sufficiently to finish 24th. For being caught cheating, Yeley and his team get thrown Under The Bus.
And now for one off the beaten path:
Celebrities that give their children FUGLY names: you know what I'm talking about. The celebrity idiots that give their children names like Apple, Sunday Rose, etc. Those kids are scarred for life. These celebrities ought to be spayed or neutered for this. Then they should be thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours.
Here is my unbiased analysis and prediction for Super Bowl XLII.
NEW YORK GIANTS
How they got there: the Giants finished 10-6 in the regular season, good enough for a wild card spot. In the postseason, they defeated Tampa Bay 24-14 in the Wild Card Playoffs; defeated Dallas 21-17 in the Divisional Playoffs; defeated Green Bay 23-20 in overtime in the NFC Championship Game.
What they must do to win: very simple. They MUST control the clock and rush for over 200 yards as a team. Eli Manning must continue to be sharp, and not turn the ball over. So far he has not committed a turnover in the postseason. On defense, they must put consistent pressure on Tom Brady with their front four. They are capable of putting pressure on Brady with just their front four. And if they aren't able to get to Brady, they must force him to see through a forest of arms ready to bat the ball down. They must win the turnover battle, and force a couple of turnovers at critical junctures. They must make a big play or two on special teams (a turnover, TD return, etc.).
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
How they got there: finished the regular season undefeated; won the AFC East; defeated Jacksonville 31-20 in the AFC Divisional Playoffs; defeated San Diego 21-12 in the AFC Championship Game.
What they must do to win: control the Giants' fierce pass rush with a variety of draws, short passes, and screens. Perhaps leave in an extra TE such as Kyle Brady for pass protection. RB Laurence Maroney could well end up being a key player in this game, as he could have his number called quite frequently. On defense, they must pressure Manning into some mistakes. At the very least, disrupt his timing. They must also slow down the Giants' punishing ground game. S James Sanders could well end up being a key factor in this aspect of the game. On special teams, they must win the field position battle and blunt the Giants' advantage.
Who will win and why: when all is said and done, I'd love to pick the Giants, but I don't see them winning. The Giants will be able to put pressure on Tom Brady, but not on a consistent basis. Laurence Maroney will have a huge game; in fact I'm predicting Maroney to have a game for the ages, setting a Super Bowl record with 210 yards on 28 carries and two TDs. He will wipe the forgettable Timmy Smith off the record books. New England caps a season for the ages with their fourth Super Bowl championship in seven years.
Here is my review of today's NFL Divisional Playoff action.
Seattle at Green Bay: if you're a Seahawks fan, this game couldn't have started any better. Two forced turnovers right off the bat, and 14 points resulting from those turnovers.
Bad start Linebacker Lofa Tatupu of the Seattle Seahawks recovers a fumble by Ryan Grant of the Green Bay Packers on the first play from scrimmage setting up a Seahawks touchdown on the next play. (Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)
Unfortunately for the Seahawks, there were about 55 minutes of football left. Not to mention the snow was getting heavier as the game wore on, at times nearing whiteout conditions.
Playing in the snow Kicker Josh Brown #3 of the Seattle Seahawks kicks and makes a 27-yard field goal in the third quarter against the Green Bay Packers during the NFC divisional playoff game on January 12, 2008 at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Once the Packers recovered from the initial shock of the two turnovers, they used their ground game to batter and beat down the Seahawks. Ryan Grant was the Stud of the Game, rushing for a post-season franchise-record 201 yards and two TDs.
Running back Ryan Grant (L) of the Green Bay Packers is tackled by Jordan Babineaux of the Seattle Seahawks during the NFC divisional playoff game at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Grant and the Green Bay Packers weathered a rough start before boucing back to beat Seattle 42-20. (AFP/Getty Images/Jonathan Daniel)
Brett Favre was efficient for the most part but sometimes he was Farve-ulous. Witness this play he pulled out of his ####:
From his knees Quarterback Brett Favre #4 of the Green Bay Packers throws a shovel pass to tight end Donald Lee #86 for an 11-yard gain in the second quarter against the Seattle Seahawks during the NFC divisional playoff game on January 12, 2008 at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
This play was on a critical third down and the completion to Lee allowed the Packers to move the chains. It set up a TD pass, and the rout was on. The Packers and the elements exposed the Seahawks' lack of a strong running game. In conditions resembling a snow globe, you need a strong running game. Grant's output was nothing short of amazing. In the long and storied history of the Packers, only Ahman Green has rushed for 200 or more yards in a game, until today. Grant set the franchise's postseason record for yards in a game, and he became the seventh RB in NFL history to achieve the feat in the postseason. If they play this way next week, they'll represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. Now they await the winner of the Cowboys-Giants.
Jacksonville at New England: I liked how Jacksonville started off. They looked like they belonged there. They drove for a TD on their opening drive. New England responded in kind. They traded TDs for the first half in a very physical game.
Laid out Jacksonville Jaguars' Ernest Wilford is stopped by New England Patriots defenders Junior Seau, Brandon Meriweather and Ellis Hobbs after making a catch. (Stephan Savoia/Associated Press)
Locked in Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback David Garrard throws a touchdown pass ahead of the defensive pressure from New England Patriots' Richard Seymour. (Charles Krupa/Associated Press)
As the game wore on, Jacksonville failed to capitalize on red zone scoring opportunities, settling for FGs in the second half. Tom Brady and the Patriots exposed the Jaguars' secondary as a liability. Yes, the Jags prevented big plays for the most part, but the middle of the field was left open and Brady picked them apart.
Point the way to 17-0 Tom Brady of the New England Patriots gestures before a play against the Jacksonville Jaguars. (Elsa/Getty Images)
The Jaguars could not have executed their game plan any better than they did. They pounded the ball on the ground. They took away Randy Moss. They took care of the ball, save for a late interception. Problem was, they were playing perhaps the best single-season team in NFL history, playing at levels never before seen in the annals of the NFL. Should the Patriots cap this historic season by winning the Super Bowl, they will be THE club in NFL history that all others will be measured up to. They will wipe the 1972 Dolphins off the record books as the best single-season team in NFL history. Yes, I did predict the upset of the playoffs in this game, a 27-20 Jaguars win. Well, I got the 20 correct, but the wrong team. Actual score was 31-20 Patriots.
Now we come to the best weekend of the playoffs. The eight teams that are still in the playoffs are the elite of the league. Win or go home. For one team in particular, the pressure is enormous.
Seattle at Green Bay: the Seahawks come off a 35-14 thrashing of the Washington Redskins. While the Hawks have long been known for their offense, it was their defense that dismantled the Redskins. Green Bay comes off a bye. For Seattle to win, their defense must force Brett Favre into making mistakes. They must win the turnover battle. Offensively, they must be balanced. The RBs must combine for at least 120 yards rushing. For Green Bay to win, they must put pressure on Matt Hasselbeck, sustain long drives that lead to scores, the DBs must be physical with the Hawks' WRs, and Favre must play smart and within himself. I see this being a fairly low-scoring game. Each team will have its moments. This is the hardest game for me to pick. If Seattle were at home I'd take the Hawks. But I'm taking the Packers in a close game.
PREDICTION: Green Bay 23, Seattle 20 (OT).
Jacksonville at New England: this is a study in contrasts. Jacksonville will pound the ball on the ground and grind you down until you cry uncle. David Garrard takes care of the ball and while he doesn't have playmakers at WR, they get the job done. Their defense is physical, in your face, and the front four can put pressure on opposing QBs. New England has a record-setting passing attack, a ground game when needed, and a ball-hawking, opportunistic defense. For Jacksonville to win, they must control the ball on the ground and keep the Patriots' offense on the sidelines. They must take advantage of scoring opportunities. They MUST take care of the ball. They must put pressure on Tom Brady, forcing him to be ineffective. They must shut down the Patriots' running game. The Jags' DBs better be prepared to do a LOT of sprinting, as Brady will go deep when given the opportunity. For the Patriots to win, they must force the Jags into mistakes/turnovers. Laurence Maroney must have a solid game, with a MINIMUM of 75 yards rushing/100 yards of total offense. Brady must have time to make his reads and throw to the open receiver. The Pats' offense must have a couple of big plays early and jump out to a big early lead. The Jaguars will be able to run on the Patriots and keep Brady on the bench long enough to keep him from turning the game into a track meet. This is my upset of the entire playoffs.
PREDICTION: Jacksonville 27, New England 20.
San Diego at Indianapolis: on the surface, it looks like a bad matchup for the Colts, especially considering the recent success the Chargers have had against the Colts. However, this was before Peyton Manning won his ring. Now that Manning has his ring, he comes into this year's playoffs a lot more relaxed. This is Philip Rivers' first time in a divisional playoff. For the Chargers to win, LT has to have a monster game, the defense has to pressure and knock down Manning, and force turnovers. Plus, the Chargers' special teams have to have a huge game. Rivers must be composed and not melt down. For the Colts to win, they must force Rivers into mistakes, particularly early in the game. If the Colts jump out to a huge early lead, it will be too much for the Chargers to overcome. Joseph Addai will play a huge role in the game. This is not your older brother's Colts defense. This is a Colts defense that will punch you in the mouth repeatedly. They will do that to Rivers time and again. Addai will have a huge game. Colts win big.
PREDICTION: Colts 37, Chargers 17.
New York Giants at Dallas: this is the third time the two teams have met. It's very hard for one team to beat another three times in one season. Dallas has already beat the Giants twice. For the Giants to win, Eli Manning has to keep playing like a franchise QB. They must pound the ball on the ground and Manning must continue to make plays. Defensively, the Giants must create turnovers and put pressure on Tony Romo. They must make plays on special teams. For the Cowboys to win, Romo must play like he did earlier in the season, when he distributed the ball around to his receivers like Santa Claus distributing Christmas goodies to all the kiddies. Terrell Owens must play, and have a huge game. The ground game must be able to move the chains and not be dormant. Eli Manning continues his superb play. The Giants move the ball on the ground. Romo makes enough mistakes that the Giants take advantage of and end up winning.
PREDICTION: N.Y. Giants 30, Dallas 20.
Those are my predictions for the Divisional Playoffs. What say you?
I'll throw my hat into the ring as far as predictions. Here are mine for the Wild Card round, complete with a brief analysis of the game.
Washington Redskins @ Seattle Seahawks: I have been going back and forth on this game. This game is really too close to call. And I've really been hard on the Seahawks for most of the season. I'll go easy on them, LOL. Washington comes into this game on a roll, winners of their last four in a row. They throttled the Dallas Cowboys' ground game to the tune of ONE YARD in Week 17. While the Redskins have a strong ground game, the Seahawks have a stout run defense. And they are at home. And they have Matt Hasselbeck. And they still have Shaun Alexander. My heart says the Redskins, but my head says the Hawks in a close game. PREDICTION: Seahawks.
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Pittsburgh Steelers: the Jags slapped the Steelers up and down Heinz Field a few weeks ago. They have the two-headed beast named Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew. David Garrard takes care of the ball (only 3 INTs this season). The defense is stout. The Steelers come in ####ed up, but they make up for hit with loads of heart and grit. This game will be close like the last one, but with the same result. PREDICTION: PAIN--OOPS, wrong! Ahem, Jaguars.
New York Giants @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: the Giants come in ####ed up after their stellar effort against the Patriots last week. The Bucs are coming off a loss to Carolina. I never know which Eli Manning is going to show up. Jeff Garcia is a playoff veteran who has won in the postseason. PREDICTION: Bucs.
Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers: Tennessee is perhaps the most ####ed up of all the postseason teams. Roydell Williams broke his ankle in practice yesterday and he's out for a minimum of six weeks. The Titans are a walking MASH unit. Not a good thing to go into the playoffs. The Chargers are on a roll, FINALLY getting the ball to LT and letting him do his thing. Lorenzo "The Battering Ram" Neal will be back at some point in the playoffs to clear a path for LT. The defense is stout again. This will be the most lopsided game of perhaps the entire postseason. PREDICTION: Chargers to win BIG.
Around the world of the NFL faster than an Ahmad Bradshaw 88-yard TD run in the snow at Buffalo, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's vignette of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Pittsburgh Steelers: they made some big plays, particularly early in the game. They found a complement to Fast Willie Parker in Najeh Davenport. Ike Taylor had a Pick Six Special late in the game that sealed the win.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they thoroughly dominated an overmatched Raiders team. On the ground, in the air--it didn't matter. With a playoff berth on the line, they were going to get it done right, and they did.
Cincinnati Bengals: or more specifically, their defense. They picked off Derek Anderson four times, leading to three TDs, including two TDs within the last two minutes of the first half. Then the defense withstood a furious Browns rally.
Philadelphia Eagles: they put the Saints' playoff hopes on life support with their huge win in New Orleans. Donovan McNabb came up huge, including a 40-yard run to set up a score. McNabb also threw for 3 TDs.
New York Giants: they withstood a 14-0 deficit in the first quarter and dominated from that point on, outscoring the Bills 38-7. Both Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs rushed for over 145 yards. Bradshaw ripped off the NFL's longest run of the season, 88 yards for a TD in a driving snowstorm.
San Francisco 49ers: their game against Tampa Bay was one of the hardest hitting, most physical games in recent memory. They stared into the eyes of the Big Bad Bucs and didn't flinch. It was good old-fashioned, old-school smash mouth football. In the end, the Niners executed enough to pull out the win. Patrick Willis was the Stud of the Game, registering 20 tackles, two sacks, and a forced fumble.
Chicago Bears: it looked like THEY were the #2 seeded team in the NFC and the Packers were the cellar dwellers. The Bears' special teams blocked two punts and forced a 9-yard punt. Brian Urlacher returned a Pick Six Special for the first time in his career.
Washington Redskins: in a game they HAD to have, they put forth a great team effort and got it done. Todd Collins was sharp, Clinton Portis ran and passed all over the Vikings' defense, rushing and passing for a TD. Now with a win over the Cowboys next week, they're in the playoffs.
New England Patriots: it looked like they were going to run and hide from the Dolphins, leading 28-0 at halftime. The Fins actually outscored the Pats in the second half, holding the Pats scoreless. Laurence Maroney rushed for a career high 156 yards on just 14 carries.
THE BAD
Oakland Raiders: after that effort against the Jaguars. They were outplayed in every facet of the game. The Jags made the Raiders look like the bad team that they are.
Baltimore Ravens: are they the worst team in the NFL, or what? I think they're worse than the Dolphins, and that's saying something.
Green Bay Packers: sure, you're the second-best team in the NFC. Could have fooled me. You played like the second-WORST team in the NFC. That was ca-ca.
THE UGLY
N.Y. Jets at Tennessee: 16 total points between the teams. It seemed like neither team wanted to win. From Tennessee's perspective, style points aren't rewarded in the NFL; just wins and losses. The Titans' win means they control their own destiny. Win, and they're in.
Atlanta at Arizona: this was a matchup from hell. A bad team against another bad team. Depending on your perspective it was either a shootout or just bad defenses. I tend to lean towards the latter.
Those are my nominations. Feel free to opine with your nominations.
Around the world of the NFL faster than the San Diego Chargers’ scoring rampage, Crappafoni Pictures brings you, the fan, the NFL’s version of the spaghetti western, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
San Francisco 49ers: they played their best game of the season in yesterday’s win over Cincinnati. Shaun Hill, in his first NFL start, was superb. Frank Gore rushed for a season-best 138 yards. While it’s too early to tell, the 49ers definitely played better than they have all season.
Carolina Panthers: the defense brought back memories of the 2003 season, when the team made its only Super Bowl appearance. They swarmed all over the Seahawks’ potent offense, limiting the Hawks‘ ground game to 44 yards for the game. Richard Marshall made a key fumble recovery late in the game to set up the Panthers’ only TD. Matt Moore was efficient in his first NFL start. He became the fourth Panthers’ QB to win a game this season.
Miami Dolphins: you earned this win. Cleo Lemon was stellar, passing for over 300 yards and the game-winning TD in overtime. And he didn’t throw an interception. Lemon gets my nomination for AFC Player of The Week.
Philadelphia Eagles: the defense showed up to play BIG-TIME. They harassed a normally stellar Tony Romo into three interceptions. And they sacked him four times and forced two fumbles. Brian Westbrook made a heads-up play just before the end of the game. Rather than scoring, he fell down at the Cowboys’ one yard line, denying the Cowboys a shot at coming back.
San Diego Chargers: was it a football game or a track meet? It’s kind of the football equivalent of teammates getting into a fight at the bat rack because they want to be the first to take their hacks at a struggling pitcher. It seemed like the Chargers couldn’t wait to get on offense to batter the LLLLLLLLLLLions’ defense. The Chargers’ defense also battered the LLLLLLLLLLLions’ offense, too. If it were a heavyweight fight, it would have been stopped in the first round.
Jacksonville Jaguars: great win by the Jags. To go into a hostile environment and beat the Steelers in their house speaks volumes about this team. They pounded the Steelers’ defense to the tune of over 200 yards rushing on a snow-covered field. Be very wary of this team in the postseason. They CAN move the ball on the ground. David Garrard is vastly underrated, but he gets the job done. He takes care of the ball and is very efficient.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: yes, they beat a demoralized Atlanta Falcons team; they were supposed to. But what stands out is the first kickoff return for a TD in FRANCHISE HISTORY. Since the Bucs came into the league in 1976, OVER 300 times a kickoff has been returned for a TD. And until today, not one by the Bucs. Michael Spurlock did the trick, returning a first quarter kickoff 90 yards for a TD. He will forever be etched into Buccaneers’ lore, something he can tell his children and grandchildren.
Cleveland Browns: or more specifically, Jamal Lewis. In a blizzard, Lewis rushed for 163 yards. Lewis also broke the 1,000 yard barrier for the season. Lewis was a battering ram and battered the Bills’ defense into submission.
THE BAD
Baltimore Ravens: pathetic. That’s all I’ll say. Your play spoke VOLUMES about how bad you really are.
Cincinnati Bengals: they have given up on this season. Remember, there is no “D” in Cincinnati. Time to blow this team up and start over. Start at the head coach. While I think Marvin Lewis is a good man, he has lost this team. Time for him to go. They had their opportunity and it’s slammed shut with the window boarded up.
Detroit LLLLLLLLLLions: you had golfing at Torrey Pines on the brain. Might as well make reservations for tee times at Torrey Pines, the TPC at Summerlin, Pebble Beach, etc. You’re not making the playoffs. So much for Jon Kitna’s guarantee of double-digit wins.
Atlanta Falcons: while I feel for the fans who felt betrayed by their franchise QB and a coach with no loyalty, the bottom line is that the players are professionals and owe it to the fans to give an honest effort. No wonder it’s ugly in the ATL.
THE UGLY
Buffalo at Cleveland: this game was better suited for the Iditarod dog sled race. The snow was coming in sheets and blowing sideways. Cleveland won 8-0; it was the first 8-0 game since 1929. Snow was THREE inches deep in some spots on the field. On the other hand, it was good old-fashioned smash mouth football.
Atlanta Falcons: UGH. They’re players in the Darren McFadden Sweepstakes.
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Will Blackmon returns for TDs, Crappafoni Pictures presents for you the fan, in living color, the NFL version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Green Bay Packers: they dismantled the Oakland Raiders in every aspect of the game. Will Blackmon was the special teams stud, returning a punt and a fumble for a touchdown. Blackmon became the first player since 1974 and only the fourth in NFL history to return a punt and fumble for a touchdown in the same game. The Pack amassed 445 total yards for the game and dominated the game from start to finish.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they were dominant in beating a Panthers team that basically gave up from the second quarter on. More on that later.
Dallas Cowboys' final drive: the 'Boys were lucky when Paris Lenon kicked the ball to Andre Gurode. If Lenon just falls on the ball, Detroit wins and gets put in the Good category. Lenon's colossal mistake gave Tony Romo new life, and he took advantage of it.
New England Patriots: way to shut up Anthony Smith! Tom Brady is now within a few TD passes of breaking Peyton Manning's single season record of 49. They went so far ahead of Pittsburgh that the Steelers became a one-dimensional team.
Seattle Seahawks: they looked sharp in dismantling Arizona. With five picks, the defense made several big plays, nothing bigger than in the third quarter after Arizona recovered an onside kick. They will be formidable in the postseason, regardless of where they play.
Indianapolis Colts: they are making this game look too easy. The first quarter isn't even over and they're winning 21-0 against the Ravens.
Houston Texans: simply put, they administered a beatdown to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For some inexplicable reason, they do well against NFC teams.
Denver Broncos: I couldn't forget the Broncos' thrashing of Kansas City. They outgained the Chiefs 453 to 129. The Broncos rushed for 215 yards. They led in time of possession by nearly 10 minutes. They forced three turnovers and didn't commit a turnover. A complete game like that will get you in the Good category every single time.
THE BAD
Carolina Panthers: this may have been one of the worst games the franchise has ever played. They were outgained in total yards 457 to 149. The Jags had the ball nearly twice as long as the Kittens. They were so ineffective that Vinny Testaverde was pulled for Matt Moore. This is a team that gave up in the second quarter. I'd have granted that they would probably lose, but I expected a better effort than this!!
San Francisco 49ers: granted, they did lose to the Vikings, a playoff-caliber team. But they were THRASHED. And on their home turf, no less. FIVE turnovers?? Trent Dilfer was knocked woozy by a Vikings' defense that forced those five turnovers.
Miami Dolphins: 0-13 and counting. Three more and you make history in reverse!! Buffalo just did you again. And with games against New England, Baltimore, and Cincinnati, you just might do it.
THE UGLY
Kansas City Chiefs: this is one of those bad games that you just forget about and go on. Every team has one of those, except New England. I can imagine that the Kansas City Film Festival will supply the filmgoers with PLENTY of Maalox and Pepto-Bismol.
Pittsburgh Steelers: it started with Mr. Motormouth, Anthony Smith, guaranteeing a Steelers victory. Son, don't write checks with your mouth that your #### can't cash. There were several breakdowns in the secondary in this game.
Cleveland at N.Y. Jets: it seemed like the Browns wanted to let the Jets win this game. The Jets hung in this game FAR TOO LONG. The Browns should have won by AT LEAST TWO TDs. Cleveland was fortunate to escape with a win.
Carolina Panthers: see Bad category.
Those are my nominations for Week 14. Your nominations are appreciated. Thanks for reading and responding.
Scanning the world of the NFL, there are no shortage of players, teams, coaches, fans, owners, and officials to throw Under The Bus (Jerome Bettis Limited Edition, 850 hp). Football fans everywhere, you are welcome to chime in with your nominations! I have a few nominations myself.
NFL
The officiating crew in the Denver-Kansas City game: for giving Brandon Marshall a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after Marshall's rendition of "Let It Snow, Let It Snow." Marshall had just caught a TD pass from Jay Cutler and was throwing snow high in the air in celebration of a TD. He wasn't showing ANYONE up!! If he's taunting a KC defender, THEN you throw the flag! Officials, Under The Bus you all go! I'll add the NFL Rules Committee to be thrown Under The Bus as well.
Anthony Smith: this genius guaranteed a Steelers' victory over the Patriots earlier in the week. So what does he do for an encore? He gives up THREE TD passes!! Not ONE, not TWO, but THREE. As I write, 54fulltiltfulltime is having a whole pot of chilled crow delivered to one Anthony Smith. For this foolish guarantee, Anthony Smith gets thrown where? Under The Bus!!!
Carolina Panthers: embarassing. While J-ville is a good, but not great, team, I expected a MUCH better effort from the Kittens. ONE HUNDRED FORTY-NINE TOTAL YARDS?? WORSE THAN PATHETIC!!! Not only that, but J-ville amassed 427 yards in total offense. Time for Fox to go and be replaced by Bill Cowher. Give Cowher total control of the football operations. For this God-awful "effort", the Kittens get thrown Under The Bus.
Detroit Lions defense: it is inexcusable blowing a 13-point lead in the fourth quarter! The Lions' offense played well enough to put an ####-kicking on the Cowboys' defense. If the defense played half as well as the offense, the Cowboys would be tied with the Packers at 11-2. Paris Lenon had a chance to put the game away with a fumble recovery, but he tried to scoop it up and deflected the ball to Andre Gurode of the Cowboys. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS FALL ON THE F-ING BALL AND THE LIONS WIN!!! IS THAT SO HARD TO DO?? Instead, Tony Romo completes a clutch fourth down pass on the next play to keep the drive alive. The Lions' defense gets thrown Under The Bus.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: I've been propping you guys for most of the year, and you reward me with THIS?? A beatdown administered by the Houston Texans' second-string QB? I can see this if it were the Cowboys or Packers putting the beatdown on the Bucs. But the TEXANS??? The Bucs get thrown Under The Bus.
ESPN: for single-handedly making Monday Night Football irrelevant. You have matchups like New Orleans-Atlanta?? Which Head #### decided that this would be a compelling matchup? The Four-Letter gets thrown Under The Bus.
NFL schedule makers: for putting another couple of overexposed NFC East teams on NBC next Sunday night: Washington Redskins vs. New York Giants. The Redskins' playoff hopes are BARELY on life support. A MUCH better matchup would be Buffalo at Cleveland. Admit it NBC, you have a bias towards Eastern teams from the Eastern Seaboard no matter how BAD THEY SUCK (NY Giants, Washington, Philly, New England). Just get it done and sign an exclusive contract with the NFC East. So Under The Bus you go!
NBA
New York Knicks: too much drama. Between Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury, it would be too much for even the most hard-core Knicks fans to handle. There WAS a time when the Knicks were a well-run franchise among the NBA's elite. It's going to take Thomas' departure, either by firing or resignation, plus some very good personnel moves, to make this franchise good again.
That's all I have for now. I have expanded this to include all sports. Feel free to come in with your nominations!!!
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Antrel Rolle Pick Six Specials, Crappafoni Pictures presents, in living color, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
THE GOOD
Arizona Cardinals: granted, they DID beat the Bungles, errrrrr, Bengals, but this team looked sharp. As stated above in the opening, Antrel Rolle had two Pick Six Specials in the game. Kurt Warner looked sharp again. Is this 2007, or 1999? Warner is playing like it WAS 1999.
New England Patriots: they are making it look too easy. They are NOT running up the score tonight; in fact, they're making every effort to call off the dogs. They're just too good right now. Even their defense is scoring TDs, as evidenced by Ellis Hobbs' 35-yard fumble return. Can New England run the table? I think they can.
New York Jets: beating one of the league's better teams will get you in the Good column every single time. They whipped the Steelers in the special teams aspect; in fact, a Leon Washington return set up the winning FG in OT.
Green Bay Packers: they are clicking on all cylinders now, and now they have discovered a running game. They beat an outmanned Panthers team minus Steve Smith (on a good note for the Panthers, they have discovered a #2 receiver in Dwayne Jarrett). Brett Favre is probably having the best season of his illustrious and stellar career. He has young studs that he can throw to, and young studs that can tote the rock, and young studs up front to protect him. This team is going to be an elite team for the next 3-5 years.
Dallas Cowboys: Tony Romo has been playing much better since his contract extension. He proved it by throwing for four TDs to Terrell Owens. Speaking of Owens, he's been a MUCH happier guy since Romo has become the Cowboys' starting QB. And the Cowboys have become a much better team since RomoCop took the helm.
Jacksonville Jaguars: or more specifically, Maurice Jones-Drew. I put him in here because he LIT UP Shawne Merriman on a blitz. He decleated Merriman; that allowed David Garrard to throw a TD pass.
Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens: this was one of the most bizarre, wackiest, and best games you'll ever see. Joshua Cribbs accounted for OVER 300 return yards, the first time that's happened in 34 years. But it was the 52-yard FG at the end of regulation that has people talking. That's going to be talked about as one of the most bizarre plays in NFL history. And it just may be the impetus to send Cleveland to the playoffs this season.
THE BAD
Pittsburgh Steelers: you lost to the J!E!T!S! SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!? What the HELL was that?? And just when you were going to become permanent residents of Goodville, you toss in this rotten egg!!
San Francisco 49ers: NO TDs in the last two-plus games? The 2000 Ravens offense thinks you're pathetic. The St. Louis Rams made some big plays on defense to get this win.
Miami Dolphins: still NO wins! You'll be in this column from here until you get your first win, which will be sometime next season. Granted, John Beck made his first start against a tough Eagles' defense. Unfortunately for the Dolphins, they only have one winnable game, against the Jets.
THE UGLY
Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks: last year or two years ago, this was a great matchup. Now it's between a bad team and mediocre team. It seemed like neither team wanted it that bad. Yecccccch!
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts: 13-10? It was an ugly win, but in the NFL, you don't get style points. Indy won, bottom line.
Around the world of the NFL faster than the Goodyear Blimp, Crappafoni Pictures brings you the spaghetti western style of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, NFL version. HERE WE GO!!
THE GOOD
Minnesota Vikings: they lit up the Chicago Bears’ defense to the tune of 444 yards of total offense. Adrian Peterson gashed the Bears for 224 yards on 20 carries and three touchdowns, including two of over 60 yards. Having a stud RB like Peterson doesn’t suck if you’re a young QB.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they played a turnover-free game. Maurice Jones-Drew had another superb game, rushing for 125 yards on 12 carries and two touchdowns. He also added four receptions for 59 yards. David Garrard was sharp, going 22 of 34 for 221 yards and two touchdowns.
Cleveland Browns: granted, their opponent was the Miami Dolphins. They did beat an opponent they SHOULD have. Derek (and the Dominoes) Anderson was sharp, going 18 of 25 for 245 yards and three touchdowns, all three to Braylon Edwards. With Jamal Lewis out, it was RB by committee. The Browns rushed for 140 yards as a team.
Green Bay Packers: their defense, to be more specific. Jason Campbell was pressured all game long. Charles Woodson scored on a 57 yard fumble return that proved to be the game winner. And for good measure, he intercepted a pass.
Carolina Panthers: the defense showed up for the first time this season, picking off three passes and sacking the QB twice. Julius Peppers accounted for 1.5 sacks and two forced fumbles. What can you say about Vinny Testaverde, except he’s an old man with game? Looks like his signing is genius so far. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 121 yards and a TD and Steve Smith had by far his best day of the season, catching 10 passes for 136 and a TD. The Panthers are 4-0 on the road this season.
New England Patriots: scoreboard says it all. Best team in the NFL right now.
San Diego Chargers: after a slow start, this team is starting to hit its stride. They dominated an overmatched Raiders team.
THE BAD
Miami Dolphins: 0-6 and counting. This team is HORRIBLE. They got thrashed by an average Cleveland Browns team. This franchise is in the throes of a death spiral.
St. Louis Rams: see Miami Dolphins, except substitute Baltimore Ravens for Cleveland Browns.
Seattle Seahawks: they looked absolutely PUTRID. THIS is a playoff team? ONLY in the NFC West. I could excuse the loss to the Steelers; the Steelers are one of the NFL’s better teams. But the WINLESS Saints?? I figured the Saints would win a game soon; I didn’t figure on them winning in Seattle.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is bad on many levels. Sorry defense, lackluster offense, and poor coaching. It starts with Marvin Lewis. Once again, Lewis didn’t have his team ready to play. When will the good fans of Cincinnati start calling for his head?
Chicago Bears: this is a BAD team. Their defense is atrocious. Adrian Peterson gashed them big-time. Devin Hester was the lone bright spot, returning a punt for a TD and hauling in an 81-yard TD pass.
THE UGLY
New York Jets: NINE points against Philadelphia? While they only allowed 16 points, they ONLY scored nine! In the AFC East, it’s New England and the Three Dwarves. When will the Jets dump Chad Pennington and start Kellen Clemens?
Cincinnati at Kansas City: aside from Tony Gonzalez setting an NFL record for receptions by a tight end, it was unwatchable. Tony, we’ll see you in Canton. I watched a defensive clinic put on by Green Bay.
Houston Texans: or more specifically, their running game. They amassed 59 yards. For the game. Fifty-nine yards. That’s not going to get it done. No wonder David Carr was a piñata while he was in Houston.
This is the sixth installment of my predictions/prognostications for the 2007 NFL Season. I continue with the AFC South.
AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts: is Joseph Addai ready to shoulder the load of being the feature back? I think so. The O-line was jarred by the sudden retirement of Tarik Glenn, a well-respected team leader and protector of Peyton Manning. Expect Manning to be sacked more often now that there is a huge hole at left tackle. On defense the Colts lost several key members of their Super Bowl championship team. Fortunately they have young players ready to step in and ball. The Colts will be formidable, and a return trip to the Super Bowl is not out of the question. A lot of things will have to go right like they did last season for that to happen. They will have enough to make the playoffs but a return trip to the Super Bowl, while possible, isn’t likely. Predicted record: 11-5 (division champion).
Tennessee Titans: Vince Young emerged as the face of the franchise. It’s too bad he can’t play all of the skill positions at the same time. He lost a huge part of the running game when Travis Henry went to Denver. LenDale White still has attitude questions, not to mention showing up at mini camp nearly 20 lbs. overweight. Rookie WR Paul Williams will be a good addition to the WR corps. On defense, CB Kelly Herndon was a good signing, as was CB Nick Harper. The Titans will have an improved defense. There are too many questions at the skill positions for the Titans to contend for the division title. If a RB emerges from nowhere and the WR corps overachieves, they could contend for a playoff spot. This team will take a small step backward. Predicted record: 8-8 (no playoffs).
Jacksonville Jaguars: this is another team with a lot of questions that have to be answered. Will Byron Leftwich regain his form of a couple of years ago? Will Fred Taylor stay healthy for a full season? Will SOMEONE from the WR corps emerge as a go-to receiver? Will the heat intensify on Jack Del Rio? I keep waiting for the championship-level Jaguars to emerge, but I’ve only seen it in spots the last couple of seasons. They lost one of the premier blocking TEs in Kyle Brady (to New England) and BOTH of their starting safeties from last season, Donovin Darius (to Oakland) and Deon Grant (to Seattle). Reggie Nelson will step in and play right away. There are too many questions for me to be sold on this team. Del Rio better start updating his resume on Monster.com. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Houston Texans: Matt Schaub? Please!! You’re basing the future of your franchise on a quarterback with TWO career starts?? I hope for his sake he took out an insurance premium with Lloyd’s of London because he’ll NEED it with a sieve of an offensive line. Ahman Green, while a great guy, is not the RB he once was. He has a lot of mileage on the tires. Andre Johnson is a stud, but who’s the WR opposite of him? The Texans wisely signed Johnson to a long-term extension in the off season. Big mistake in letting Jabar Gaffney go to the Patriots last season. I do have props for the defense. They will show improvement from last season, when they were finding their bearings as a unit. DeMeco Ryans emerged as a stud. Mario Williams showed improvement coming off a foot injury. The D-line as a whole improved. They will be even better with Amobi Okoye in the fold. His potential is off the charts. They also added veteran depth and leadership. However, too many questions on offense will keep them from showing greater improvement. Predicted record: 6-10 (no playoffs).
Now that David Carr is no longer with the Texans, it seems to this writer that the Texans are laying all their woes at the feet of Carr. While Carr shares some blame, a majority of it lies with their personnel department. Why didn't they surround Carr with a strong O-line? Or a quality RB? Why didn't they draft Reggie Bush last year? Bush would have gone a LONG way towards solving some of the Texans' woes. While I don't fault Charley Casserly for drafting Carr, he should have had a veteran QB in place and had Carr learn under the veteran. Now they replace Carr with Matt Schaub? Schaub is only slightly more mobile than an oak tree. Hope you can find some good doctors in Houston, Matt. You're going to need all their expertise, especially since the Texans employ matador protection schemes. (Hmm, I wonder if it's true they yelled, "Ole!" when Carr was sacked? Just a thought.)
Now my next question: where will Carr end up? I have a few teams off the top of my head that are interested or intriguing:
Carolina: Carr has a visit scheduled with the Panthers sometime next week. He would be an intriguing option for the Panthers backing up Jake Delhomme, especially since Delhomme is considered to be on a short leash. One note: Joey Harrington also has a visit scheduled with the Panthers. As a Panthers fan, I hope the team signs Carr.
Seattle: the Seahawks are also on Carr's short list. Potentially, he could recover mentally and learn from Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselbeck. Holmgren can develop QBs (see Favre, Brett and Hasselbeck, Matt). He can heal up physically and mentally while in Seattle.
Cleveland: Carr would be an immediate upgrade over Charlie Frye. Signing Carr would allow the Browns to draft Adrian Peterson, possibly Joe Thomas or quite possibly Calvin Johnson.
Oakland: Carr would be an immediate starter with the Raiders and at #1 they could skip JaMarcus Russell and draft Calvin Johnson. They also could draft an OT in the second round; there will be some quality OTs in Round 2. With a great draft and Carr at QB, the Raiders could be a playoff contender. And don't forget, Lane Kiffin's forte is offense. Wouldn't that be interesting, one former Fresno State QB coaching his former college teammate?
Jacksonville: I threw that one out as an opportunity for Carr to stick it to the Texans twice a season. While the Jags don't need a QB immediately, they are not exactly sold on Byron Leftwich.
The team that eventually signs David Carr will get a quality QB and a quality man and will immediately be a better team. Stay tuned.
