Perusing the world of sports, one can find many sports figures that vex you, trouble you, or get you so pissed off that you want to SCREAM. You so want to vent your ire. Here is the forum that gives you, the Joe Six-Pack Fan, a forum to vent at the object of your ire by calling them out for their idiocy, or their stupidity, or their arrogance, or whatever else #### you off. You can do this by throwing _______ under the Bus. I have some nominees.

NFL

Matt Jones, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars: this genius was busted for blow in Arkansas. Dude, you're a marginal football player at best. You're BARELY hanging on by a thread on the Jaguars' roster. This isn't going to help, especially when Sheriff Goodell metes out his brand of justice on you. You're going to WISH you had to deal with Sheriff Joe Arpaio instead of Sheriff Goodell. For snorting away your lazy, underachieving career, you get thrown Under The Bus.

Odell Thurman, former Bengals' LB: as if pissing away your football career isn't enough, now you are being sought for an arrest warrant for felonious assault. You STILL don't get it. Perhaps when you're caught by the authorities, justice will be served on you and you'll do a LOT of time in the pokey. DON'T blame _____ for your problems. BE ACCOUNTABLE and accept the consequences for your actions. In the meantime, you get to know up close and personal the tire tracks of the Bus you are to be thrown under.

Travis Henry: as if his babymaking skills weren't enough to give him a headache, now he's facing his biggest headache of all: a possible year long suspension from the NFL for allegedly testing positive for the hippie lettuce. Is jonesing for chronic that much more important than pulling an NFL pay check? Apparently to you, it is. I don't get these imbeciles that have MAD game yet choose to #### it all away for one reason or another. For pissing your career away due to the chronic and all that baby making, you get thrown Under The Bus.

NBA

Los Angeles Clippers: they had a great chance in the offseason to become a legitimate power in the Western Conference. Or at the very least improve themselves. They did neither. They let their franchise player, Elton Brand, go to Philadelphia. They let their second best player, Corey Maggette, flee to Golden State. At least they did sign Baron Davis, but he alone won't be enough. This is why they are the Lakers' JV team and deserve to play at the Sports Arena rather than the Staples Center. Hell, the Lakers' D-league team could probably beat the Clippers. For being the Clippers and being the face of front office ineptitude, the Clippers front office gets thrown Under The Bus. 

NASCAR

J.J. Yeley: his #96 team was caught cheating prior to the LifeLock.com 400. Did someone on that team call Bill Belichick for some cheating advice? NASCAR assessed Yeley a drive through penalty at the start of the race. He did recover sufficiently to finish 24th. For being caught cheating, Yeley and his team get thrown Under The Bus. 

And now for one off the beaten path:

Celebrities that give their children FUGLY names: you know what I'm talking about. The celebrity idiots that give their children names like Apple, Sunday Rose, etc. Those kids are scarred for life. These celebrities ought to be spayed or neutered for this. Then they should be thrown Under The Bus.

Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours.    

Crappafoni Pictures proudly presents this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, presented with a Michigan twist.

THE GOOD

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: as the race winner, he automatically gets first billing. Congratulations on breaking a two-plus year winless streak! I've said that he'd win at a track that he wasn't expected to win at. Michigan qualifies for that! This was Chevrolet's first win at Michigan since June 2001, when Jeff Gordon piloted his Chevrolet into Victory Lane.

Kasey Kahne: had a strong car both early and late. Fuel strategy allowed him to finish a strong second.

Roush Fenway Racing: four cars in the top 10 will get you in this category. Jamie McMurray got a free pass, and his car got stronger as the race went on.

Red Bull Racing: Brian Vickers finished 4th, and A.J. Allmendinger finished 19th. Vickers may have had the car to beat had it not been for that last caution.

Tony Stewart: his car ran in the top 10 much of the day, culminating in a strong 5th place finish.

Elliott Sadler: finished strong in 9th. He had a strong car much of the day, spending much of it in the top 15.

Honorable Mention: Jimmie Johnson.

THE BAD

Dario Franchitti: as the last-place driver, he gets first billing in this dubious category. Better luck next week, D.

Juan Pablo Montoya: I think he unloaded a bad car and it got much worse as the race went on. He finished nine laps down.

Bill Elliott: the former champion has turned into a field filler. As recently as 2002 he was in the hunt for a championship. As much as I like Bill Elliott, I think it's time for him to hang up his helmet and enjoy retirement.

THE UGLY

Ryan Newman: the Daytona 500 winner had mechanical issues and spent a LOT of time in the garage. He finished in 42nd, 89 laps down.

Robby Gordon: a hard crash on Lap 152 ended his day early. He'll be a factor next week at Sonoma.

J.J. Yeley: had mechanical issues and spent time in the garage. He returned to the race to finish 87 laps down.

Dave Blaney: he brought out the first caution of the race when a rear axle broke. He returned to the race and actually picked up four positions through attrition. A sub-good for that.

Those are my nominees for the race. Feel free to come in with yours! 

This week's version of Who Would You Throw Under The Bus? is dedicated to the brave men and women in uniform serving domestically and abroad. Without these brave men and women, this blog wouldn't exist. Kudos and mad props to all of you. There are several sports figures that have totally pissed me off this week. Therefore I am throwing the following figures under the proverbial Bus:

MLB

Shelley Duncan, New York Yankees: this guy just doesn't get it. And he probably never will. This genius scribbled, "Red Sox Suck" then signed his name after a young Red Sox fan requested his autograph. Very class act there, Shelley. And for that act that's two letters short of class, you go Under The Bus.

NASCAR

Chip Ganassi: he fired his best driver's crew chief just as Juan Pablo Montoya and Jimmy Elledge were starting to click. Is it ANY wonder NO ONE wants to drive for you? I wouldn't blame JPM one bit if he were to walk. (JPM, I'll bury the hatchet and welcome you to RCR should you end up there.) Perhaps you should devote your time to your IRL teams; that's where you reign supreme. Until then, Ganassi goes Under The Bus.

J.J. Yeley: did I miss the announcement that you hired Stevie Wonder as your spotter? WTF was that act, blasting Dale Jr. from behind? I wouldn't have blamed Dale Jr. one bit for wanting to open up the largest can of Whoop #### he can find. And why the *(*)*^ do you still have a ride? You're reckless, make questionable decisions at best, wild-a$$Ed decisions at worst. For that act, you go Under The Bus.

NHL

Gary Bettman: he has proven the Peter Principle right. He is an INCOMPETENT NHL Commissioner. Then he threatened Al Sobotka, the driver of the Zamboni at the Joe, a very stiff fine if Sobotka tossed an octopus on the ice. I hope he threw that octopus on the ice!! I'd contribute towards paying that stiff fine! For threatening a working man nearly half his salary in fines, Bettman not only gets thrown Under The Bus, but he ALSO gets thrown Under A Fleet Of Zambonis.

Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to chime in with yours!  

I dedicate this edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly to our brave men and women in uniform, and especially to those that have paid the ultimate sacrifice. To our veterans, thank you.

THE GOOD

Kasey Kahne: as the winner of the Coca-Cola 600, he gets first billing. He also accomplished a rare feat, winning the All-Star Race and the 600 in the same year.

Roush Fenway Racing: all five of their drivers finished on the lead lap in the longest race of the season. They have turned the corner and I won't be surprised to see at least three of their drivers in the Chase (Edwards, Biffle, and Ragan).

Elliott Sadler: ran strong throughout the race, even led a few laps. Hopefully his bad luck has run out and he can run the way he's capable of running.

David Reutimann: a superb run by him to finish in the Top 10. Although he never led, he was in the Top 10 for almost half the race, 174 laps to be exact.

Jeff Gordon: fought an ill-handling car all race long to finish in the Top 5. His car was a piece of #### to start, then as the race went on it slowly started getting better. He turned a marginal Top 25 car into a Top 5 finish; it's a tribute to the patience and belief in his crew he has, and to his abilities as a driver. Showed why he's one of the all-time greats.

Honorable Mention: Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Kevin Harvick, Jeff Burton.

THE BAD

Robby Gordon: continues to show why a one-car team has gone the way of the dinosaur. He would best be served if he sold his team to another team looking to add another driver.

Kyle Petty: I hate having to put him in this category consistently, as he is one of sports' great humanitarians. But he consistently finishes in the mid to upper 30's. That's why I have to put him here. If I had GBU last year at this time, he'd have definitely been in the Good category. (He finished 3rd in last year's race)

J.J. Yeley: can someone PLEASE tell me why this guy still has a ride? He can't seem to get out of his own way. He has done worse than the driver he replaced, Tony Raines. At least Raines finished in the Top 10 a couple of times last season and he wasn't tearing up Hall of Fame Racing cars. And Yeley subsequently rear-ended Dale Earnhardt, Jr. after Jr cut a tire and crashed into the wall.

Fox's Broadcast: DW, your man-crush on Kyle Busch is quite obvious. There ARE 41 other drivers out there besides Busch and Kasey Kahne. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm looking forward to the end of the Fox broadcasts. On second thought, maybe not. ESPN awaits, and they're FAR WORSE.

THE UGLY

Brian Vickers: his left rear wheel came completely off and caused him to crash out of the race after he had one of the cars to beat. David Gilliland subsequently played car soccer, launching the errant tire skyward, with the tire landing in the infield camping area.

Tony Stewart: had the race in hand until he made contact with the wall with two laps to go and subsequently had to pit.

Jimmie Johnson: looked like he was well on his way to a possible win when his engine expired with 49 laps to go. His up and down year continues.

Those are my nominations. Feel free to come in with yours! 

Crappafoni Pictures presents to you the spaghetti western version of Richmond, with a mid-South flavor. Sit back and enjoy!

THE GOOD

Clint Bowyer: as the winner, he automatically gets first billing. He was the beneficiary of a late caution involving Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Kyle Busch. On the restart, he sped away to let Mark Martin and Busch battle it out.

Mark Martin: speaking of Martin, he was consistently in the top 5 throughout the race. A very solid finish.

Jeff Gordon: he battled a very ill-handling car, at one point going a lap down. Battled back from that to finish in the top 10.

Richard Childress Racing: besides the winner, the other two cars (Kevin Harvick, 8th and Jeff Burton, 11th) had very solid finishes. As of tonight, all three of the RCR drivers are in the top 5 in the point standings.

Joe Gibbs Racing: has all three of its drivers in the top 8 in points. All three cars ran well tonight, particularly Denny Hamlin. Hamlin ran a near-perfect race until he had a tire go down very late in the race. Hamlin led a track-record 381 laps in tonight's race.

Honorable Mention: Martin Truex, Jr., Carl Edwards, Ryan Newman, Reed Sorenson.

THE BAD

J.J. Yeley: he was the one that started the big one on lap 230 when he went into the wall after making contact with another car. Cars behind him started checking up, creating an eleven car accident. I'm sure he feels pretty bad about it.

Michael Waltrip: he was parked by NASCAR after he and Casey Mears were involved in a wreck. Waltrip intentionally pushed Mears the length of a straightaway after the accident; hence Waltrip being in effect ejected by NASCAR. I have a special treat for Mikey tomorrow.

Matt Kenseth: his bad season continues. Was caught up in that 11-car crash on lap 230. Fortunately, he was able to improve a few positions once his crew fixed the car enough to warrant him going out and turning laps.

Jimmie Johnson: was never a factor in this race. Missed the setup on the car and never really recovered. Finished 30th, 9 laps down.

THE UGLY

The Big One: no, this isn't Talladega. But the 11-car accident on lap 230 sure had the makings of a Talladega-style accident. The accident brought out a red flag that lasted 21 minutes while the track was being cleaned up from liquids and assorted debris. Patrick Carpentier got the worst of it, getting hit multiple times from multiple angles. He'll be a hurtin' unit come tomorrow morning! 

Denny Hamlin: after leading a track-record 381 laps, he suffered a heartbreaking flat tire and tried to hang on as long as possible. Finally, the tire gave up and he parked himself on the high side of the track, bringing out a caution as Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was catching up to Kyle Busch. NASCAR parked him for two laps for intentionally bringing out a caution. I say good for NASCAR! 

Michael Waltrip: seriously, WHAT THE F*** WERE YOU DOING pushing Casey Mears after he got loose and made contact with you, causing an accident? Then dumping him into the wall afterwards? YOU WERE NOT ON THE LEAD LAP!!! Mears WAS on the lead lap! And what the F*** were you doing RACING him in that situation?? I'm glad NASCAR parked your #### for the rest of the race. Then your #55 team should have to serve a one-race suspension for your antics. I have a special treat for you tomorrow. 

That's all I have for this race. Feel free to come on in with your nominees!

Crappafoni Pictures presents to you your weekly spaghetti western but this time with a southwestern flavor. Sit back and enjoy!

THE GOOD

Jimmie Johnson: played a HUGE high stakes poker game on fuel mileage and won. As the winner (ugh!) he gets first billing.

Clint Bowyer: finished second to Johnson and like Johnson stayed out while everyone else had to pit.

Hendrick Motorsports: all four of its cars finished in the top 15--Johnson (1st), Dale Earnhardt, Jr. (7th), Casey Mears (11th), and Jeff Gordon (13th).

Mark Martin: good finish for the wily veteran, but is left wondering what could have been.

Carl Edwards: started 34th and finished fourth. He passed a LOT of cars during the course of the race.

Joe Gibbs Racing: all three of its cars finished in the top 15--Denny Hamlin (3rd), Kyle Busch (10th) and Tony Stewart (14th). 

THE BAD

Ryan Newman: very uncharacteristic last place finish. Had a strong car before mechanical issues retired his car early.

Matt Kenseth: his team totally missed the setup and an early accident compounded his bad day.

Gillette-Evernham Motorsports: had two cars drop out of the race after both Elliott Sadler and Kasey Kahne were running in the top 10. Their best finisher was Patrick Carpentier, who finished in 33rd, four laps down.

Chip Ganassi Racing: aside from Juan Pablo Montoya's solid top 20 finish (he finished 16th), both Dario Franchitti (32nd) and Reed Sorenson (42nd) had days both would like to forget about. At least Franchitti has a hot wife he can come home to and commisserate with.

THE UGLY

J.J. Yeley: he was the victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was running strong when he was caught up in an accident that wasn't of his doing. Tough break for Yeley, as he stands 36th in points and now has to qualify on time at Talladega.

Kevin Harvick: was running in the top 5 for much of the second half of the race when he ran out of gas as he entered pit row for his final stop of the race. Then he stalled exiting his pit and ended up going two laps down. He finished a lap down in 19th, costing him three spots in the standings.

Those are my selections. Feel free to chime in with yours! 

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAA! Spaghetti western meets REAL western in Texas. Today I present to you The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly on a huge plate of beef brisket with a side of spaghetti. Enjoy!

THE GOOD

Carl Edwards: as the winner of this race, he gets first billing. He had the dominant car all day. Had the race gone green the last 100 laps, he'd have put every other car a lap down, that's how strong and dominant his car was.  

Jimmie Johnson: had a strong car all day, but didn't quite have enough to catch Edwards. His early-season woes are behind him and he's running like a champion should.

Richard Childress Racing: another solid performance, with two cars in the top 10 (Jeff Burton and Clint Bowyer) and Kevin Harvick in 11th. Harvick was the first car a lap down because Carl Edwards was so strong. Harvick's car got stronger as the race wore on.

Roush Fenway Racing: four cars in the top 20. Except for Greg Biffle's blown engine late in the race, they would have had all five cars in the top 20.

Yates Racing: despite both cars being unsponsored, the #38 of David Gilliland (15th) and Travis Kvapil (18th), had top 20 finishes.

THE BAD

Jeff Gordon: he's still 0-for-Texas. He and Jimmie Johnson share garage space at Hendrick Motorsports. They share information and setups. Yet it was puzzling why Gordon ran so bad and Johnson ran so good. His 43rd-place finish was only the second of his career (Texas, 1999).

Bill Elliott: this former champion as recently as a few years ago was still very competitive. Unfortunately, he's been reduced to nothing more than a field filler for Wood Brothers Racing. When he was driving for Evernham Motorsports, he was frequently in the top 10 and led laps. At that time, I thought, maybe he might have a shot to win another championship, or at the least resurrect his career. I hate seeing how noncompetitive he has been. Could this be the end?

THE UGLY

J.J. Yeley: his crash could have been far worse than what it was. Glad he's okay.

Jeff Gordon: no one is used to seeing him run in dead last. It's only happened once before!

Martin Truex, Jr.: he was very solidly in the Top 10 until his engine blew (again!) late in the race. Did someone put sugar in HIS gas tank?

Those are my nominees. Come on in with yours!!

Now that the race in Martinsville is in the books, it's time to present the spaghetti western edition of this race. Brought to you by Crappafoni Pictures.

THE GOOD

Denny Hamlin: since he won the race, he gets first billing. His car was great the whole race. Good win for Hamlin. Enjoy the grandfather clock.

Hendrick Motorsports: for awhile, I thought they would sweep the top four positions, much like RCR did with the first three at Bristol two weeks ago. All four cars solidly in the top 10.

Richard Childress Racing: once again, all three of their cars finished in the top 15. And they have the top two points leaders in Jeff Burton (leader) and Kevin Harvick (2nd). Clint Bowyer is in 12th place in points.

Michael McDowell: gotta give a shout out to this Cup rookie. In his Cup debut, he was on the lead lap for almost the whole race, finally falling off the lead lap with less than 10 laps to go due to a flat tire. If this race is any indication, he has a bright future.

Jamie McMurray: FINALLY, he has a good week. He qualified very well (third) and finished with a solid top 10. He needed it, now he's solidly in the top 35 in points.

THE BAD

Matt Kenseth: he was the antithesis of McMurray. He deliberately dumped David Gilliland into the wall, earning a trip to NASCAR's Oval Office for his naughty behavior after the race. Earlier in the race, he served a one-lap penalty. For this act of dump and run, he was penalized two laps.

J.J. Yeley: he had the day from hell. I didn't know whether to pity him or yell at my TV to get him off the #### track.

THE UGLY

Transmission failures: it happened to several drivers, most notably Kyle Busch. Ken Schrader had the most heartbreaking, his occurring while he was running in the top 15.

Matt Kenseth: I don't know what he ate for breakfast or if someone pissed in his Wheaties, but he appeared unusually surly. Dumping Gilliland deliberately is very much unlike Kenseth.