My series concludes with the AFC North and AFC West.
AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh Steelers: the NFL schedule makers did them NO favors. They play the toughest schedule in the league this year. However, they have lots of talent on both sides of the ball, and they have a year under head coach Mike Tomlin. While their schedule is tough, it will prepare them for the games within their division. Predicted record: 9-7, division champion, #4 seed.
Cleveland Browns: suddenly they have QB issues with Derek Anderson's concussion. While they are going to score a lot of points, who are they going to stop? Jamal Lewis is a year older. Aside from Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow, who do they throw the ball to? Too many questions, and not enough answers. This team takes a step backward. Predicted record: 7-9, no playoffs.
Baltimore Ravens: another team with QB issues. Troy Smith is recovering from an infection in which he lost 20 lbs. Kyle Boller is on injured reserve. Joe Flacco is the Week 1 starter. Jonathan Ogden retired, and his next stop is Canton. However, they still have a semblance of a defense, enough to stay out of the division cellar. Predicted record: 5-11, no playoffs.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team has more issues than a hooker in a confessional booth. Where should we start? Chad Johnson? The bad seeds? Ownership? Marvin Lewis? Too many issues, and not enough leadership to overcome these issues. Carson Palmer is solid, but he alone will not be enough to overcome these issues. This team will be one of the worst teams in the NFL. Predicted record: 3-13, no playoffs.
AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers: this team is LOADED. Even with a gimpy Shawne Merriman, the defense is incredible. Big, strong, and FAST. Philip Rivers is a year older and (hopefully) a year more mature. They still have LT. Every piece is in place for a Super Bowl championship. Predicted record: 14-2, #1 seed, division, conference, and Super Bowl Champion.
Denver Broncos: Jay Cutler has another year under his belt. Now that he's been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, he can take steps to stay strong throughout the season. Selwyn Young can be a very good back. The defense has picked up a new scheme under new defensive coordinator Bob Slowik. However, they are rebuilding, and it will take time. But they are on the right track. Predicted record: 8-8, no playoffs.
Oakland Raiders: if Al Davis and Lane Kiffin can stop their bickering like an old married couple, they have the semblance of a halfway decent team. I think Davis STILL wants to coach the team. Kiffin wanted to fire Rob Ryan, but Davis blocked it. Now Ryan can stick his tongue out at Kiffin, and snicker his teehees under his breath, knowing he can't be fired. Back to the Raiders for a minute. They have a solid ground game, led by Justin Fargas. The O-line is improved. JaMarcus Russell will go through some growing pains, but he has the potential to be a very good QB. The defense needs to gell and is a question mark, particularly at stopping the run. Another year of struggling by the Raiders. Predicted record: 6-10, no playoffs.
Kansas City Chiefs: this team is going through more rebuilding and renovating than Las Vegas did in the 80's and 90's. Brodie Croyle at QB? Ugh. Where's Daunte Culpepper? At least HE'S a proven starter! They still have LJ, but he's going to get hammered more often than a drunk on a three-day bender. Yes, the O-line is THAT bad. And don't even get me started on the defense. While they have some good young players, they lack experience. The gap between the veterans and youngsters is huge. If the Chiefs were Las Vegas, they would be Vegas circa 1986. Predicted record, 4-12, no playoffs.
Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to call out the object of your ire by throwing them under the Bus. Remember, the object of your ire can be a player, coach, fans, league, commissioner, sports executive, columnist, or even your fellow bloggers. You can call out their stupidity and general all-around dumb@$$ery here.
NFL
Ricardo Colclough, DB, Carolina Panthers: he was arrested for DWI on Saturday, hours before the Panthers were to make their final cuts. This doesn’t help. If you want to have a future in the NFL, you better learn to stay down during the season. In the meantime, you earn a tread-tasting trip under the Bus. UPDATE: Colclough has been released by the Panthers a few hours after his arrest. Ya think?
Derrick Martin, CB, Baltimore Ravens: the NFL suspended him for the season opener against the Cincinnati Bengals. He was cited and charged in July for possession of three small bags of the hippie lettuce at the Cleveland airport during a random TSA screening. What the HELL are you doing transporting small bags of the chronic at an airport? Apparently this genius thought he wasn’t going to be searched. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And for that, Martin gets to taste some tread as he gets thrown under the Bus.
Jesse Chatman, RB, New York Jets: he was suspended for four games for violating the NFL’s steroids and substance abuse policy. While he’s been good in the locker room and in practice, rules are rules. He was out of football in 2006, and came back in 2007 with Miami. He’ll have his roster spot when he returns in Week 5. But for now, Chatman gets thrown under the Bus.
Fred Taylor, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars: he was arrested outside a Miami Beach nightclub early Saturday for disorderly conduct. With the season about to begin, what was he doing at a nightclub? Save that for AFTER the season. And remember, nothing good happens after 2 AM, unless you’re getting lucky and doing the Dirty Sanchez with some hottie. What makes it hard is that he’s been a solid character guy, good in the locker room and in the community. But as painful as it is, I have to throw Taylor under the Bus.
Rocky Bernard and Jordan Babineaux, Seattle Seahawks: these two geniuses were suspended for Seattle's Week 1 game at Buffalo. Bernard for violation of the team's personal conduct policy stemming from his allegedly assaulting his ex-girlfriend. Babineaux was suspended for violation of the league's substance abuse policy. In addition to the $35,000 fine, Babineaux is also docked a game check. These two characters get to taste some tread as they get thrown Under The Bus.
MLB
Pittsburgh Pirates: or more specifically, their official scorer. This guy denied the Milwaukee Brewers' CC Sabathia a no-hitter. Sabathia fielded a slow roller by the Pirates' Andy LaRoche and booted it. Sure error, right? NO, it was ruled an INFIELD SINGLE!! If Sabathia fields it cleanly, LaRoche is out from PNC Park to Fox Chapel (a tony Pittsburgh suburb). It wasn't like it was a ban.g-ban.g play. The Pirates' official scorer gets thrown Under The Bus for denying Sabathia a much sought-after no-hitter.
Los Angeles Dodgers: this team went into the tank before rallying against the Diamondbacks' two best pitchers: Dan Haren and Brandon Webb. Getting swept by the Phillies is one thing; getting swept by the weak-#### Washington Nationals will get you thrown under the Bus every single time.
Youth Baseball League of New Haven, CT: this spineless league banned a 9-year-old pitcher named Jericho Scott because he’s too good. He's good, and it irks you to no end because your self-esteem is threatened. This young kid throws 40 MPH, which is roughly equivalent to a high school senior throwing 90-95 MPH with pinpoint control. Whatever happened to celebrating achievement? League and parents, you broke the spirit of a kid. I don’t know how you can sleep at night knowing you broke the spirit of a 9-year-old boy. You have that attitude of being the experts on all things racial. Could it be possible you banned him because of his *race*? (Jericho Scott is African-American) WELL, YOU'RE NOT. I SPIT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE CONTEMPTIBLE. THEN I THROW THE SPINELESS PARENTS AND THE LEAGUE UNDER THE BUS. Parents, I hope you get what’s coming to you. And I hope Jericho Scott overcomes this obstacle to become a Major League pitcher.
NASCAR
NASCAR: for instituting a six-race probation for both Carl Edwards and Kyle Busch for their little dust-up after the Bristol race. NASCAR is forever stressing they want to return to its roots. Putting Edwards and Busch on probation is just stupid. Are they trying to neuter its drivers? I think so. NASCAR itself gets thrown under the Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!
P.S. The young lady wasn't available this week; perhaps next week.
Today, the Niners terminated Trent Dilfer's contract. For this Fresno State fan and alumnus, it's a sad day. Whether it's the end of his career remains to be seen. Whatever he chooses to do, whether to try out for another team or go into the broadcast booth, I wish him nothing but the best.
I remember Dilfer as a raw yet talented freshman coming in for an injured Mark Barsotti during the 1991 season. He immediately lit up the opposition defense. He looked like a four-year starter rather than a true freshman. Fresno State was the only school that offered Dilfer a scholarship as a QB; several other schools wanted to switch him to either a LB or TE.
In 1992, the Bulldogs were Dilfer's team, since Barsotti went on to graduate and be a late-round pick of the Miami Dolphins. My best memory of that season was obviously the 24-7 win over USC in the Freedom Bowl. Although Dilfer didn't throw a TD pass in the game, he did complete a key fourth-down pass to Tydus Winans early in the game that set up the Bulldogs' first touchdown.
The following year, 1993, cemented Dilfer's ascension as one of the nation's top college QBs. Dilfer passed for a career-high 523 yards and two touchdowns in a 41-30 loss to Big 8 runner-up Colorado in the Aloha Bowl on Christmas Day.
In the 1994 NFL Draft, Dilfer was selected sixth overall by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. After a rocky first three years under Sam Wyche, he really blossomed in 1997 under the steady leadership of Tony Dungy. The Bucs made the playoffs that season at 10-6. Dilfer earned his only Pro Bowl nod. He was on his way to a career year in 1999 when he broke his collarbone late in the season. The Bucs advanced to the NFC Championship Game against the St. Louis Rams in which the Rams defeated the Bucs 11-6 on a late TD.
Dilfer was released by the Bucs and signed with the Baltimore Ravens to back up Tony Banks. A five-game TD drought during the season signaled the end of Tony Banks as the starter. Dilfer took over the reins on October 29, 2000, vs. Pittsburgh. Baltimore won its final seven regular season games to advance to the playoffs. It was all about the defense; they set an NFL record for fewest points allowed in a 16-game season and for fewest yards allowed rushing, 970. He saved his best for the big games; in the AFC Championship Game against Oakland, he connected with TE Shannon Sharpe on an NFL postseason record 96-yard TD pass as the Ravens defeated the Raiders 16-3. In Super Bowl XXXV, Dilfer connected with Brandon Stokley for the game's first TD on a SWEET post pattern. The Ravens routed the N.Y. Giants 34-7, and only Ron Dixon's 97-yard kickoff return for a TD prevented the first Super Bowl shutout.
Dilfer served as a mentor to Matt Hasselbeck in Seattle from 2001-04. He started several games for Cleveland in 2005 before injuries derailed his season. He was a mentor to Alex Smith in San Francisco the past two seasons. When Smith went down with an injured shoulder, Dilfer stepped in and the spirit was willing, but the body wasn't. It was like he aged like Dorian Gray right before my eyes. Dilfer would go down with a serious concussion late in the season.
I want to remember Trent Dilfer the player as someone who competed, someone that put in the extra time to become the best player he could be. I won't be surprised if he ends up retiring and going into the broadcast booth. Trent, thanks for all the memories from Fresno State to the present. This Fresno State alum will miss watching you compete.
Around the world of the NFL faster than an Ahmad Bradshaw 88-yard TD run in the snow at Buffalo, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's vignette of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
Pittsburgh Steelers: they made some big plays, particularly early in the game. They found a complement to Fast Willie Parker in Najeh Davenport. Ike Taylor had a Pick Six Special late in the game that sealed the win.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they thoroughly dominated an overmatched Raiders team. On the ground, in the air--it didn't matter. With a playoff berth on the line, they were going to get it done right, and they did.
Cincinnati Bengals: or more specifically, their defense. They picked off Derek Anderson four times, leading to three TDs, including two TDs within the last two minutes of the first half. Then the defense withstood a furious Browns rally.
Philadelphia Eagles: they put the Saints' playoff hopes on life support with their huge win in New Orleans. Donovan McNabb came up huge, including a 40-yard run to set up a score. McNabb also threw for 3 TDs.
New York Giants: they withstood a 14-0 deficit in the first quarter and dominated from that point on, outscoring the Bills 38-7. Both Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs rushed for over 145 yards. Bradshaw ripped off the NFL's longest run of the season, 88 yards for a TD in a driving snowstorm.
San Francisco 49ers: their game against Tampa Bay was one of the hardest hitting, most physical games in recent memory. They stared into the eyes of the Big Bad Bucs and didn't flinch. It was good old-fashioned, old-school smash mouth football. In the end, the Niners executed enough to pull out the win. Patrick Willis was the Stud of the Game, registering 20 tackles, two sacks, and a forced fumble.
Chicago Bears: it looked like THEY were the #2 seeded team in the NFC and the Packers were the cellar dwellers. The Bears' special teams blocked two punts and forced a 9-yard punt. Brian Urlacher returned a Pick Six Special for the first time in his career.
Washington Redskins: in a game they HAD to have, they put forth a great team effort and got it done. Todd Collins was sharp, Clinton Portis ran and passed all over the Vikings' defense, rushing and passing for a TD. Now with a win over the Cowboys next week, they're in the playoffs.
New England Patriots: it looked like they were going to run and hide from the Dolphins, leading 28-0 at halftime. The Fins actually outscored the Pats in the second half, holding the Pats scoreless. Laurence Maroney rushed for a career high 156 yards on just 14 carries.
THE BAD
Oakland Raiders: after that effort against the Jaguars. They were outplayed in every facet of the game. The Jags made the Raiders look like the bad team that they are.
Baltimore Ravens: are they the worst team in the NFL, or what? I think they're worse than the Dolphins, and that's saying something.
Green Bay Packers: sure, you're the second-best team in the NFC. Could have fooled me. You played like the second-WORST team in the NFC. That was ca-ca.
THE UGLY
N.Y. Jets at Tennessee: 16 total points between the teams. It seemed like neither team wanted to win. From Tennessee's perspective, style points aren't rewarded in the NFL; just wins and losses. The Titans' win means they control their own destiny. Win, and they're in.
Atlanta at Arizona: this was a matchup from hell. A bad team against another bad team. Depending on your perspective it was either a shootout or just bad defenses. I tend to lean towards the latter.
Those are my nominations. Feel free to opine with your nominations.
I must come correct about the Miami Dolphins. In my preseason preview of the Dolphins, I picked them to go 5-11. I thought they had some talent, but clearly not enough to compete in the AFC East. Even though they beat the Ravens yesterday, ultimately they will be judged to be one of the worst teams in NFL history.
Yesterday's game against Baltimore appeared to be no different than the previous 13 games. They fell behind and appeared to be on their way to their 14th loss in a row.
Can't face it An unidentified Miami Dolphin fan, wearing a bag over his head, hopes the winless Dolphins will beat the Ravens. (J. Pat Carter/Associated Press)
However, something was VERY different than the previous 13 games. The Dolphins showed grit and determination.
Out of reach Dolphins cornerback Will Allen is unable to come up with the ball after knocking away a pass intended for the the Ravens' Derrick Mason. The Dolphins won their first game of the season in overtime. (J. Pat Carter/Associated Press)
Slowly but surely, the Dolphins gained momentum. They carried a 16-13 lead late into the game. Troy Smith, filling in for an injured Kyle Boller, drove the Ravens down the field and it appeared the Ravens would pull this one out, after all. But the Fins held and Matt Stover kicked the game-tying FG with mere seconds left in regulation.
You got it A Miami fan shows her support as the Ravens take on the Dolphins, who won their first game of the season in overtime. (Doug Benc/Getty Images)
The young girl in the photo captured the hopes of the Dolphins fans in Dolphins Stadium and across the country as the Fins and the Ravens entered overtime. The Ravens won the toss and received. Smith drove the Ravens down the field and were in position to win, but Stover missed a 44-yard FG in OT for the first time in his career. As I was following the game on GameTrax, I shuddered involuntarily. I KNEW that the door was opened for the Dolphins to win. On third down, Cleo Lemon fired a laser beam to Greg Camarillo, who caught it in stride and ran to the Fins' first win of the season.
We did it! Running back Lorenzo Booker (20) and wide receiver Greg Camarillo of the Dolphins celebrate after a big catch by Camarillo. The Dolphins defeated the Ravens 22-16 for their first victory of the year. (Doug Benc/Getty Images)
The Dolphins' victory was just as much execution by the Fins as mistakes by the Ravens. Going into this game, I actually thought this was a game the Dolphins COULD win. They had to play error-free football and force the Ravens into turnovers and mistakes. In all fairness to the Fins, they have been decimated by injuries. Trent Green, Ronnie Brown, and several others are out for the season with various injuries. Zach Thomas has been ####ed up all season. While I thought they would be at or near the bottom of the AFC East, even 0-13 surprised me. I figured they would have at least won one game by the halfway point of the season. I'm not a Dolphins' fan but have to give props where props are due, and the Dolphins earned that first win of the season.
Around the world of the NFL faster than the San Diego Chargers’ scoring rampage, Crappafoni Pictures brings you, the fan, the NFL’s version of the spaghetti western, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
San Francisco 49ers: they played their best game of the season in yesterday’s win over Cincinnati. Shaun Hill, in his first NFL start, was superb. Frank Gore rushed for a season-best 138 yards. While it’s too early to tell, the 49ers definitely played better than they have all season.
Carolina Panthers: the defense brought back memories of the 2003 season, when the team made its only Super Bowl appearance. They swarmed all over the Seahawks’ potent offense, limiting the Hawks‘ ground game to 44 yards for the game. Richard Marshall made a key fumble recovery late in the game to set up the Panthers’ only TD. Matt Moore was efficient in his first NFL start. He became the fourth Panthers’ QB to win a game this season.
Miami Dolphins: you earned this win. Cleo Lemon was stellar, passing for over 300 yards and the game-winning TD in overtime. And he didn’t throw an interception. Lemon gets my nomination for AFC Player of The Week.
Philadelphia Eagles: the defense showed up to play BIG-TIME. They harassed a normally stellar Tony Romo into three interceptions. And they sacked him four times and forced two fumbles. Brian Westbrook made a heads-up play just before the end of the game. Rather than scoring, he fell down at the Cowboys’ one yard line, denying the Cowboys a shot at coming back.
San Diego Chargers: was it a football game or a track meet? It’s kind of the football equivalent of teammates getting into a fight at the bat rack because they want to be the first to take their hacks at a struggling pitcher. It seemed like the Chargers couldn’t wait to get on offense to batter the LLLLLLLLLLLions’ defense. The Chargers’ defense also battered the LLLLLLLLLLLions’ offense, too. If it were a heavyweight fight, it would have been stopped in the first round.
Jacksonville Jaguars: great win by the Jags. To go into a hostile environment and beat the Steelers in their house speaks volumes about this team. They pounded the Steelers’ defense to the tune of over 200 yards rushing on a snow-covered field. Be very wary of this team in the postseason. They CAN move the ball on the ground. David Garrard is vastly underrated, but he gets the job done. He takes care of the ball and is very efficient.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: yes, they beat a demoralized Atlanta Falcons team; they were supposed to. But what stands out is the first kickoff return for a TD in FRANCHISE HISTORY. Since the Bucs came into the league in 1976, OVER 300 times a kickoff has been returned for a TD. And until today, not one by the Bucs. Michael Spurlock did the trick, returning a first quarter kickoff 90 yards for a TD. He will forever be etched into Buccaneers’ lore, something he can tell his children and grandchildren.
Cleveland Browns: or more specifically, Jamal Lewis. In a blizzard, Lewis rushed for 163 yards. Lewis also broke the 1,000 yard barrier for the season. Lewis was a battering ram and battered the Bills’ defense into submission.
THE BAD
Baltimore Ravens: pathetic. That’s all I’ll say. Your play spoke VOLUMES about how bad you really are.
Cincinnati Bengals: they have given up on this season. Remember, there is no “D” in Cincinnati. Time to blow this team up and start over. Start at the head coach. While I think Marvin Lewis is a good man, he has lost this team. Time for him to go. They had their opportunity and it’s slammed shut with the window boarded up.
Detroit LLLLLLLLLLions: you had golfing at Torrey Pines on the brain. Might as well make reservations for tee times at Torrey Pines, the TPC at Summerlin, Pebble Beach, etc. You’re not making the playoffs. So much for Jon Kitna’s guarantee of double-digit wins.
Atlanta Falcons: while I feel for the fans who felt betrayed by their franchise QB and a coach with no loyalty, the bottom line is that the players are professionals and owe it to the fans to give an honest effort. No wonder it’s ugly in the ATL.
THE UGLY
Buffalo at Cleveland: this game was better suited for the Iditarod dog sled race. The snow was coming in sheets and blowing sideways. Cleveland won 8-0; it was the first 8-0 game since 1929. Snow was THREE inches deep in some spots on the field. On the other hand, it was good old-fashioned smash mouth football.
Atlanta Falcons: UGH. They’re players in the Darren McFadden Sweepstakes.
Scanning the world of sports, one can see many malcontents, miscreants, ingrates, and other bad seeds. As a fan, do you get so pissed off that you just want to VENT? Well here’s your chance to vent. While I gear this column towards the NFL, I welcome fans of all sports to throw the object of your ire Under The Bus (Jerome Bettis Limited Edition, 850 hp). I have some nominees.
NFL
Baltimore Ravens: I’ll laugh at you after I throw you under the bus. This team is PATHETIC. You LOST to a winless team!! You deserve to be called the Baltimore Canaries after that “effort”. AND YOU RUINED MY CHANCE TO SEE A TEAM GO WINLESS!!!! UNDER THE BUS YOU GO!!!
Cincinnati Bengals: it’s OVER for you. Time to blow this team up and start over. As much as I like Chad Johnson, his heart wasn’t in the game against San Francisco. Trade him while he has high trade value and get extra draft picks.
Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLions: you have golfing on the brain. Giving up 51 points to San Diego? That’s the sign of a team that has quit. The Dolphins have a WORSE record than you, yet they haven’t QUIT. So under the Bus you go.
NBA
Golden State Warriors: yes, you beat the Lakers the other night in front of the largest crowd to see a basketball game in California. Good win. But don’t act like you won the NBA championship in mid-December. So Under The Bus you go!
MLB
Sen. George Mitchell (D-Maine): what a colossal waste of money! And for what? To make you look important? While I’m at it, I’ll throw the Commissioner under the bus as well.
Those are my nominees for this week. Come on in with your nominees!!
Around the world of the NFL faster than two Antrel Rolle Pick Six Specials, Crappafoni Pictures presents, in living color, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
THE GOOD
Arizona Cardinals: granted, they DID beat the Bungles, errrrrr, Bengals, but this team looked sharp. As stated above in the opening, Antrel Rolle had two Pick Six Specials in the game. Kurt Warner looked sharp again. Is this 2007, or 1999? Warner is playing like it WAS 1999.
New England Patriots: they are making it look too easy. They are NOT running up the score tonight; in fact, they're making every effort to call off the dogs. They're just too good right now. Even their defense is scoring TDs, as evidenced by Ellis Hobbs' 35-yard fumble return. Can New England run the table? I think they can.
New York Jets: beating one of the league's better teams will get you in the Good column every single time. They whipped the Steelers in the special teams aspect; in fact, a Leon Washington return set up the winning FG in OT.
Green Bay Packers: they are clicking on all cylinders now, and now they have discovered a running game. They beat an outmanned Panthers team minus Steve Smith (on a good note for the Panthers, they have discovered a #2 receiver in Dwayne Jarrett). Brett Favre is probably having the best season of his illustrious and stellar career. He has young studs that he can throw to, and young studs that can tote the rock, and young studs up front to protect him. This team is going to be an elite team for the next 3-5 years.
Dallas Cowboys: Tony Romo has been playing much better since his contract extension. He proved it by throwing for four TDs to Terrell Owens. Speaking of Owens, he's been a MUCH happier guy since Romo has become the Cowboys' starting QB. And the Cowboys have become a much better team since RomoCop took the helm.
Jacksonville Jaguars: or more specifically, Maurice Jones-Drew. I put him in here because he LIT UP Shawne Merriman on a blitz. He decleated Merriman; that allowed David Garrard to throw a TD pass.
Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens: this was one of the most bizarre, wackiest, and best games you'll ever see. Joshua Cribbs accounted for OVER 300 return yards, the first time that's happened in 34 years. But it was the 52-yard FG at the end of regulation that has people talking. That's going to be talked about as one of the most bizarre plays in NFL history. And it just may be the impetus to send Cleveland to the playoffs this season.
THE BAD
Pittsburgh Steelers: you lost to the J!E!T!S! SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!? What the HELL was that?? And just when you were going to become permanent residents of Goodville, you toss in this rotten egg!!
San Francisco 49ers: NO TDs in the last two-plus games? The 2000 Ravens offense thinks you're pathetic. The St. Louis Rams made some big plays on defense to get this win.
Miami Dolphins: still NO wins! You'll be in this column from here until you get your first win, which will be sometime next season. Granted, John Beck made his first start against a tough Eagles' defense. Unfortunately for the Dolphins, they only have one winnable game, against the Jets.
THE UGLY
Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks: last year or two years ago, this was a great matchup. Now it's between a bad team and mediocre team. It seemed like neither team wanted it that bad. Yecccccch!
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts: 13-10? It was an ugly win, but in the NFL, you don't get style points. Indy won, bottom line.
Around the world of the NFL faster than an Antonio Cromartie 109-yard return of a missed FG, Crappafoni Pictures gives you this week's spaghetti western version of Week 9 in the NFl.
THE GOOD
New England at Indianapolis: unlike most big games, this one lived up to the hype. It took a great comeback by Tom Brady and Company to pull out a 24-20 win, preserved by a late turnover. The Pats were 10 points down going into the fourth quarter. Good job, Pats. The 1972 Dolphins should be VERY worried about the Pats running the table, since the Pats' remaining schedule has only two winning teams on it (Pittsburgh and the NY Giants).
Minnesota Vikings: or more specifically, Adrian Peterson. Even though it's been a couple of days since he set the single-game rushing record, it becomes more and more amazing. He SINGLE-HANDEDLY beat the San Diego Chargers.
Dallas Cowboys: they carved up the Eagles IN Philly like John Madden carving up his turducan back in the day. The Cowboys have to be considered the favorites in the NFC to be playing in Glendale in early February.
Detroit Lions: they simply put a good old-fashioned ####-kicking on the Denver Broncos. The ironic thing is that the Broncos actually had the edge on time of possession. But four turnovers did in the Broncos, including a 66-yard Pick Six Special by DT Shaun Rogers. The Lions knocked Jay Cutler out of the game with a leg injury.
New Orleans Saints: is it safe to say, "THEY ARE BACK?" Drew Brees came up HUGE, passing for 445 yards and 3 TDs. Reggie Bush added a 1-yard TD run in the first quarter. I will say that they are back, especially considering the NFC South is very weak this year. The Buccaneers are inconsistent, Carolina has QB issues, and the Falcons are in disarray.
Pittsburgh Steelers: they made a statement by the way they carved up the Ravens' once-vaunted defense. I know I'm not overlooking the Steelers. They are the ONE team that CAN hang with the Patriots and possibly beat them. They have a very strong, balanced offense, the defense is stout, physical, and will smash you in the mouth, and are well-coached by Mike Tomlin and his staff.
Cleveland Browns: Derek Anderson was stellar yet again, passing for 364 yards and four Browns receivers each had 67 yards or more in receiving yards. Jamal Lewis only rushed for 37 yards but had four TDs. It helps a young QB like Anderson immensely to have a battering ram like Lewis back there to punch it in from short yardage. This team is for REAL. Look for them to be playing in January as a wild card.
THE BAD
Carolina Panthers: they weren't just bad; they were PATHETIC. David Carr passed for a MEASLY 107 yards. For the GAME. He's the only player in the history of the NFL to contain a future Hall of Famer in Steve Smith. The Panthers can't stop anyone, and they can't move the ball. A VERY bad combination. I see this team going 6-10 and missing the playoffs yet again. I predict that John Fox will lose his job over this, either by resignation or by firing. The next Panthers' head coach? Bill Cowher.
Oakland Raiders: you can't expect to win by turning the ball over three times. But that is what the Raiders did. Josh McCown was picked off three times, including once in the red zone by LB DeMeco Ryans as the Raiders were driving for a touchdown.
San Francisco 49ers: even with four turnovers, they STILL had a chance to win, but QB Alex Smith threw his third pick of the day to seal it for the Falcons. Frank Gore did not play due to an injury, and that hurt the Niners' ground game.
Baltimore Ravens: this is a team that got old suddenly. Ray Lewis, while still a good LB, is clearly not the LB he used to be. He simply doesn't have the talent around him that he used to have. Steve McNair is on his last legs as an NFL QB. I admire his competitiveness but his tank is dry. The Steelers exposed the Ravens as an old team.
THE UGLY
San Diego Chargers: giving up nearly 300 yards to Adrian Peterson still boggles my mind, since the Chargers have a good, swarming defense.
Arizona at Tampa Bay: this game won't be making ESPN Classic any time soon. Earnest Graham did have a good effort, rushing for 124 yards and a TD.
San Francisco at Atlanta: okay, this wasn't exactly New England at Indy, but this game set the NFL back many years. And it wasn't that long ago both of these teams were in the playoffs.
Crappafoni Pictures takes you around the world of the NFL faster than the participants in The World's Greatest Race. Here we go!!
THE GOOD
New England Patriots: granted, they did play the Miami Dolphins. But throwing for 6 TD passes like Tom Brady did today was freaking incredible! It was like playing Madden 08. At this pace, Brady will obliterate the single season record currently held by Peyton Manning. Brady is on pace for 60 TD passes.
New York Giants: while Eli Manning was efficient and is getting better each week, the G-men's defense was swarming. They forced the 49ers into four turnovers. Michael Strahan was a beast with 2.5 sacks, Osi Umenyiora scored on a fumble return and had a sack, and Brandon Jacobs rushed for a career-high 107 yards and a TD.
Tennessee Titans: or more specifically, Rob Bironas. Bironas kicked 8 FGs, setting an NFL single-game record. The record setter came as time expired, lifting the Titans to a thrilling win over the host Houston Texans. Lost in all that was that Kerry Collins was nails on that final drive to set up Bironas' record breaker.
Dallas Cowboys: they dominated the Vikings in every single aspect of the game but needed a TD return of a blocked FG to put away the pesky Vikings. Tony Romo was superb, going 31 for 39 for 277 yards and a TD. Marion Barber rushed for 96 yards and a TD in the 24-14 win.
Cincinnati Bengals: if not for Kenny Watson's strong effort (31 carries, 130 yards, 3 TDs), the Bengals would have been put in either the Bad or Ugly category. Watson was the stud of the game. They should have beaten a putrid Jets team by at least 2 TDs. More on the Jets later.
Chicago Bears: the win today over Philadelphia may have salvaged their season. In the event a tiebreaker comes into play with the Eagles, the Bears have the advantage. Brian Griese coolly engineered the clinching drive, throwing a TD pass to Muhsin Muhammad with 9 seconds left in the game. The TD pass capped a 97-yard drive. While the Bears still need help in the ground game, Griese gives them a better chance to win.
New Orleans Saints: it looks like they are breaking out of their season-long funk. They won a close game they had to win. While Reggie Bush wasn't spectacular, his TD late in the game was one of pure determination. He caught a short swing pass and bulled over three Atlanta Falcons defenders for the winning TD with less than 5 minutes remaining in the game.
Denver Broncos: they played inspired football in beating a tough Pittsburgh Steelers team. The Steelers' comeback fell short, as Jason Elam kicked a 49-yard FG as time expired. Jay Cutler made the big passes when he needed to. He was 22 of 29 for 248 yards and 3 TDs and 2 INTs.
Kansas City Chiefs: this team has surprised me. I had picked them to be one of the worst teams in the league in the preseason. They are now 4-3. Another good: Priest Holmes returned to the lineup after missing nearly two seasons with head and neck injuries. Combine Holmes and L.J. and this team could possibly make the playoffs.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: 0-7. Enough said.
Miami Dolphins: see above.
New York Jets: this is an absolutely putrid team. If not for the Rams and Dolphins, they would be the worst team in the league. They had opportunities to beat the Bengals and let them slip away. Let the Kellen Clemens era begin. How could a team that was a playoff team last season sink to such depths of ineptitude?
Baltimore Ravens: how could a team that says its a playoff team lose to a one-win team going into the day? Simple: you don't make the plays you need to and the now two-win team makes those same plays.
THE UGLY
Arizona at Washington: the Redskins had a two TD lead and very nearly gave it all back. Credit Arizona for making a furious comeback that fell wide left. The Redskins very nearly sel####estructed. Jason Campbell played like a rookie starting his first NFL game. After playing well much of the season, he played very poorly today.
San Francisco 49ers: Yikes! FOUR turnovers leading to 24 NY Giants points? You're not going to win playing like that! Four turnovers will give any hard-core football fan indigestion. Definitely not a game for the ages.
Oakland Raiders: while their defense kept them in this game, the offense sputtered yet again. Aside from their only TD, the offense didn't show up. What happened to the Raiders' ground game? Fifty-five yards for the game will not win you many games.
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THE GOOD
Minnesota Vikings: they lit up the Chicago Bears’ defense to the tune of 444 yards of total offense. Adrian Peterson gashed the Bears for 224 yards on 20 carries and three touchdowns, including two of over 60 yards. Having a stud RB like Peterson doesn’t suck if you’re a young QB.
Jacksonville Jaguars: they played a turnover-free game. Maurice Jones-Drew had another superb game, rushing for 125 yards on 12 carries and two touchdowns. He also added four receptions for 59 yards. David Garrard was sharp, going 22 of 34 for 221 yards and two touchdowns.
Cleveland Browns: granted, their opponent was the Miami Dolphins. They did beat an opponent they SHOULD have. Derek (and the Dominoes) Anderson was sharp, going 18 of 25 for 245 yards and three touchdowns, all three to Braylon Edwards. With Jamal Lewis out, it was RB by committee. The Browns rushed for 140 yards as a team.
Green Bay Packers: their defense, to be more specific. Jason Campbell was pressured all game long. Charles Woodson scored on a 57 yard fumble return that proved to be the game winner. And for good measure, he intercepted a pass.
Carolina Panthers: the defense showed up for the first time this season, picking off three passes and sacking the QB twice. Julius Peppers accounted for 1.5 sacks and two forced fumbles. What can you say about Vinny Testaverde, except he’s an old man with game? Looks like his signing is genius so far. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 121 yards and a TD and Steve Smith had by far his best day of the season, catching 10 passes for 136 and a TD. The Panthers are 4-0 on the road this season.
New England Patriots: scoreboard says it all. Best team in the NFL right now.
San Diego Chargers: after a slow start, this team is starting to hit its stride. They dominated an overmatched Raiders team.
THE BAD
Miami Dolphins: 0-6 and counting. This team is HORRIBLE. They got thrashed by an average Cleveland Browns team. This franchise is in the throes of a death spiral.
St. Louis Rams: see Miami Dolphins, except substitute Baltimore Ravens for Cleveland Browns.
Seattle Seahawks: they looked absolutely PUTRID. THIS is a playoff team? ONLY in the NFC West. I could excuse the loss to the Steelers; the Steelers are one of the NFL’s better teams. But the WINLESS Saints?? I figured the Saints would win a game soon; I didn’t figure on them winning in Seattle.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is bad on many levels. Sorry defense, lackluster offense, and poor coaching. It starts with Marvin Lewis. Once again, Lewis didn’t have his team ready to play. When will the good fans of Cincinnati start calling for his head?
Chicago Bears: this is a BAD team. Their defense is atrocious. Adrian Peterson gashed them big-time. Devin Hester was the lone bright spot, returning a punt for a TD and hauling in an 81-yard TD pass.
THE UGLY
New York Jets: NINE points against Philadelphia? While they only allowed 16 points, they ONLY scored nine! In the AFC East, it’s New England and the Three Dwarves. When will the Jets dump Chad Pennington and start Kellen Clemens?
Cincinnati at Kansas City: aside from Tony Gonzalez setting an NFL record for receptions by a tight end, it was unwatchable. Tony, we’ll see you in Canton. I watched a defensive clinic put on by Green Bay.
Houston Texans: or more specifically, their running game. They amassed 59 yards. For the game. Fifty-nine yards. That’s not going to get it done. No wonder David Carr was a piñata while he was in Houston.
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THE GOOD
San Diego Chargers: the scoreboard explains it all. San Diego 41, Denver 3. They were dominant in all phases of the game. In an eleven second span of the first quarter, the Chargers scored two TD’s. Michael Turner, LT’s backup, was the rushing stud today, with 147 yards on only ten carries, including a 74-yard touchdown run.
Oakland Raiders: yes, they had a bye week, but because of San Diego’s win in Denver and Kansas City’s loss to Jacksonville, the Raiders are in first place. Yes, the FIRST PLACE Oakland Raiders!!
Washington Redskins: they held the Detroit Lions’ offense to 144 total yards for the game. Jason Campbell had another superb game, going 23 of 28 for 248 yards and two TD’s. The Redskins’ defense just beat the #### out of the Lions’ offense early and often.
Pittsburgh Steelers: when you shut out a good team like the Seahawks, you’ll be in this section every single time. ESPECIALLY when you have defensive studs like Casey Hampton and Troy Polamalu out.
New England Patriots: they dominated a pesky Cleveland Browns team in every facet of the game. They sent the Browns crashing back to earth by slapping them up and down the field.
THE BAD
San Francisco 49ers: I was jocking this team as a possible NFC West champion. They looked absolutely putrid; so putrid I turned on the NASCAR race from Talladega. They were inept on offense; their defense is what kept the game close.
Denver Broncos: this was one of those games in which they were administered a total ####-kicking. It was administered in their own crib, no less. Every team has a game in which NOTHING goes right. For Denver, today was that game.
Atlanta Falcons: they had less than 200 yards against a middle of the road Titans defense. While the Titans’ defense isn’t bad, it’s not exactly the 1985 Bears, either.
Detroit Lions: I expected a better effort than 144 total yards for the game. This was supposed to be a good test for a team that expects a lot out of itself. They got an F-minus.
THE UGLY
Baltimore at San Francisco: this game won’t be making ESPN Classic any time soon. In fact it was so boring I turned to the race. Here is the sequence: Baltimore--run, run, pass, punt. San Francisco--run, run, pass, punt. Repeat sequence for Baltimore. Repeat sequence for San Francisco. You get the drift.
Miami Dolphins: or more specifically, the injury to Trent Green. Green suffered a concussion attempting to throw a block on the Texans’ Travis Johnson. Green was briefly hospitalized, but was allowed to return to Miami with the team. While I admire Green’s willingness to throw blocks to help his team win, at the very least he could have just got in Johnson’s way and it would have been just as effective. Now the Dolphins have to wonder if Green’s finished.
Kansas City Chiefs: they were very nearly shut out at home for the first time in 13 years. It took a meaningless touchdown on the last play of the game to prevent the shutout. They remembered they were the Kansas City Chiefs of Opening Day. I heard that they are distributing milk cartons with a picture of Larry Johnson’s face on the carton, saying, Have you seen this man? He has been the Incredible Invisible Man.
Carolina at New Orleans: it was an incredible display of offensive ineptitude for most of the game. It took a determined Steve Smith to get a key first down by running over a Saints’ defensive back on third down. The first down enabled the Panthers' John Kasay to kick a 53 yard game winning FG as time expired.
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THE GOOD:
Green Bay Packers: or more specifically, Brett Favre. With his first quarter TD pass to Greg Jennings, Favre broke the NFL record for most TD passes in a career. He added another TD later in the game to add to his record. He now has 422 TD passes and counting. He also was 32 of 45 for 344 yards as the Packers ran their record to 4-0.
Oakland Raiders: they pounded out nearly 300 yards rushing against the hapless Dolphins’ defense. Daunte Culpepper ran for 3 TD’s and passed for two more. The defense was superb as well, limiting the Fins to under 300 yards in total offense for the game.
Dallas Cowboys: they ran and passed at will on the St. Louis Rams, amassing 502 yards in total offense in a 35-7 beat down. Tony Romo was superb as usual, passing for 339 yards and three TD’s, and adding a 15-yard TD run for good measure. The Cowboys’ defense limited the once-Greatest Show on Turf to 187 net yards.
Atlanta Falcons: or more specifically, Joey Harrington. Harrington played well last week in a tough loss to Carolina. This time he gets to enjoy the Falcons’ first win of the season. I’ve come around on the Falcons. I think this team is better than their record indicates. Harrington went 23 for 29 for 223 yards and two TD’s. Good job Joey.
Indianapolis Colts: although Peyton Manning had pedestrian numbers, he distributed the ball well, completing passes to eight different receivers. The Colts’ ground game gashed the Denver Broncos to the tune of 226 yards.
Arizona Cardinals: any time you beat the Pittsburgh Steelers, you deserve to be in the Good category. Enough said.
Detroit Lions: they scored 34 points in the FOURTH QUARTER, setting an NFL record for most points scored by a team in the fourth quarter. They came from 10 points down to beat the Chicago Bears 37-27.
Cleveland Browns: despite being dominated by the Ravens in every facet of the game, they found a way to win against a better team. They made enough big plays, and a 3-3 record going into their bye week is realistic.
New York Giants: or more specifically, their defense. They sacked Donovan McNabb 12 times. TWELVE TIMES! That tied an NFL record for most sacks by a team in a game. McNabb was coming off a perfect game against the Detroit Lions. Osi Umenyiora (sp?) had SIX OF THEM. That's one shy of the NFL record for a game, held by the late, great Derrick Thomas of the Kansas City Chiefs.
THE BAD:
Carolina Panthers: for a game that determined the NFC South lead, they came out flat and uninspired. They let the Tampa Bay Buccaneers run and pass all over them. This is why I included them in my Teams That Have Jumped The Shark blog yesterday. Their window is slamming shut and may have slammed shut already. They didn’t play inspired until about 3 minutes remained in the game. They FINALLY scored with less than a minute to go and avoided being shut out at home.
San Diego Chargers: how can a team that has been chirping that they’re among the NFL’s elite come out and play so crappy? They have officially jumped the shark. It’s one thing to lose to New England and Green Bay (both elite teams); it’s QUITE another to lose to Kansas City! AND in your own crib, no less!! Not only was it a loss, it was a BEAT DOWN. As a blogger, I have officially jumped the shark for picking this sorry team to go to the Super Bowl.
Chicago Bears: I knew this team was in trouble when they traded their best RB in Thomas Jones. He was Rex Grossman’s safety valve, bailing Grossman out numerou
