Starting in Week 1 and concluding in Week 17 (since there are no bad teams in the playoffs) I will be offering the NFL version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, sponsored by Crappafoni Pictures. I will put five teams in each category.

THE GOOD

New York Giants: they totally dismantled the Washington Redskins last Thursday night. The defense overwhelmed Jason Campbell and the Redskins' offense. Based on what I've seen, the G-men look poised to defend their title.

Philadelphia Eagles: Donovan McNabb is healthy again, and that’s a good thing for the Eagles. They ran and passed at will against the Rams. Defensively, they put the clamps on the Rams’ offense.

Dallas Cowboys: they totally dismantled the Cleveland Browns, looking like the favorites to go to the Super Bowl. Tony Romo looked sharp, the ground game was working, and the defense totally overwhelmed the Browns’ offense.

Carolina Panthers: WOW! What a freaking ending! The Panthers hung in there and kept it close throughout the game. The Chargers took the lead with 2:26 left in the game. Plenty of time for Jake Delhomme to drive the Panthers down the field, culminating in a 14-yard TD pass to Dante Rosario as time expired. It's a VERY RARE feat for a QB to throw a game-winning TD pass as time expires. To go into San Diego and beat the Chargers is a GREAT start to the season.

Atlanta Falcons: Michael Turner. Matt Ryan. Need I say more? Turner rushed for a franchise record 220 yards and Ryan's first pass in the NFL was a 62-yard TD to Michael Jenkins. What a debut for first-year head coach Mike Smith! Looks like the Falcons' braintrust knew what they were doing in hiring Smith.

I could put a whole bunch of other teams in this category, but I will put a few in my honorable mention category.

Honorable Mention: Chicago Bears, Arizona Cardinals, Buffalo Bills, Denver Broncos.

THE BAD

St. Louis Rams: they couldn’t move the ball on the Eagles, and the Eagles ran and passed over them at will. While I didn’t expect them to win, I expected a better effort. Yuck. I hope Scott Linehan is updating his resume.

Detroit Lions: they were ill-prepared to play football against the Falcons. While Jon Kitna wasn’t bad, the rest of his team was. Kitna actually had a pretty good day, but the defense was putrid.

Cincinnati Bengals: while I wouldn’t normally put them in the Bad category, they belong there this week because they lost to a rookie QB and rookie head coach.

Seattle Seahawks: where do I start? Special teams? That’s a good place to start. The Seahawks’ special teams allowed a fake FG for a touchdown and a punt return for a touchdown.

Oakland Raiders: losing at home, and not putting forth an honest effort against the Denver Broncos, will get you in this category every single time. They took STUPID penalties, did a ####-poor job in tackling, and did a poor job of game management.

THE UGLY

New England Patriots: losing your franchise QB for the season will get you in this category.

San Francisco 49ers: playing a game of giveaway with the Arizona Cardinals to the tune of five turnovers will get you in this category every single time.

Oakland Raiders: this was so ugly, I turned to a documentary. They were totally and thoroughly dominated by the Broncos. The atmosphere in the stadium is like a morgue. Lane Kiffin better start updating his resume. Now Rob Ryan can really snicker his teehees at Kiffin, knowing he won‘t be fired.

I apologize for leaving some teams off that should be in one of the three categories. Feel free to come in with your nominees! 

It's that time of week again. Time to call out those idiots, miscreants, malcontents, and ingrates for their idiocy, arrogance, dumb-A$$ery, and general stupidity. The lovely young lady will take your requests and call them forward. Simple as that! 

NFL

San Francisco 49ers: OMG, what the HELL was THAT? FIVE turnovers? It was a miracle you didn't get run out of Candlestick Park! If it wasn't for the Arizona Cardinals' offensive ineptitude, you would have. And your defense bailed the offense's sorry #### out. If it wasn't for Frank Gore, it would REALLY be putrid. I expected a competitive game. Not a good way to start by getting thrown under the Bus.

Seattle Seahawks: what was that allowing a TD on a fake FG? Then on the ensuing kickoff fumbling the ball away? Then on the very next play allowing ANOTHER TD? If this is any indication, it's going to be a VERY long year in the Pacific Northwest. And it starts by throwing the Seahawks under the Bus.

St. Louis Rams: keeping up with the theme of the NFC Worst West, I offer as Exhibit 3, the St. Louis Lambs Rams. Granted, the Eagles are a good team, but I expected a better effort. Both Donovan McNabb AND Kevin Kolb passed on the Lambs Rams at will. I'll state the obvious: the NFC Worst West is the WORST division in the NFL. The Lambs Rams get thrown under the Bus for their lack of effort and their suckiness, at least this week.

Detroit Lions: throughout preseason, this team was hyped as a possible playoff contender. Well, if you were a TRUE playoff contender, you wouldn't be losing have lost to the Atlanta Falcons! And to a rookie QB making his FIRST NFL start! And you wouldn't have let Michael Turner gash you for 220 yards rushing. New season, same old Lions. See the Lions defense. See Michael Turner. See Michael Turner gash the Lions defense for 220 yards rushing (a franchise record). See the Lions get thrown under the Bus.

Carolina Panthers' haters: this is to all those that said the Panthers would be 6-10, or worse, like finish LAST in the NFC South (you people KNOW who you are). I EXPECTED the Panthers to compete, but like just about everyone else, I expected the Chargers to win. Well, the Panthers are 1-0 after beating one of the BEST teams in the AFC, and on the road, no less. Suddenly, the game against Chicago will be very tough next week. I throw all you Panthers haters under the Bus, and deprive you of your supply of Panther-flavored Haterade.

NBA

Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur: the two ex-Jayhawks teammates were kicked out of an NBA rookie transition program for deciding to get high on the hippie lettuce and having women in their room and getting caught. Save that for the regular season. The NBA kicked them out of the program and now they have to repeat the program next year. But in the meantime, the wannabe hippies get thrown under the Bus.

MLB

St. Louis Cardinals: their bullpen failed to hold leads TWICE against Arizona. I thought the Mets’ bullpen was bad; the Cardinals bullpen is 20 times WORSE. This is why they’ll be watching the playoffs from home after the season is over. They had a GOLDEN opportunity to get back into the playoff hunt. Now it’s all but over. With a sweep, they would have made the NL Central a tight race. Now the opportunity is lost. Now they get thrown under the Bus.

Those are my nominations for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!

I will give my thumbnail predictions for two divisions per day until the regular season begins. Today, the NFC East and South. 

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys: on paper, this team has it all: explosive offense, stout defense, and strong special teams. However, they do have a tough schedule, going on the road to Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and Green Bay, in addition to the NFC East opponents. Tony Romo should be able to take the next step in his progress. But questions still linger: can Romo win a postseason game? Will Adam Jones fit in with his new teammates? We'll find out, and, yes. Adam Jones gives the 'Boys a lockdown CB they haven't had since Deion Sanders. Plus, he's the best return man not named Devin Hester. Predicted record (playoff seeding in parentheses): 11-5, first place, (2).

Philadelphia Eagles: Donovan McNabb is healthier than he has been in recent years. He has uber-stud RB Brian Westbrook. The defense is still stout, thanks to defensive coordinator Jim Johnson's scheme. David Akers is one of the league's better kickers. And unlike Romo, McNabb has won in the postseason, narrowly losing to New England in Super Bowl 39. (Of course, he had Terrell Owens then) Still, they're not far behind the Cowboys in talent. With a few breaks, they could win this division; they're that good. Predicted record: 10-6, second place (5).

New York Giants: I have revised my pick of this team. After much consideration, I have elevated them ahead of the Redskins, and NOT because of the opening game. I was going to do this on Tuesday but was sick. As long as the front four apply pressure on QB's all season, they'll be fine. Eli Manning will do his thing, the ground game is solid, and this team will be in contention for a playoff bid, but fall short due to a very difficult schedule outside the division. Predicted record: 10-6, third place (no playoffs).

NFC SOUTH

New Orleans Saints: they are loaded offensively. Jeremy Shockey is a tremendous addition to the offense. He gives them the TE that can split the seam for big plays. IF Deuce McAllister is healthy and good to go after surgery on both knees, it's a huge plus. The defense figures to improve from last season. The addition of Jonathan Vilma is huge. He should blossom in the Saints' 4-3 scheme. Keep an eye out for Tracy Porter. He'll blow up as the nickel back. Predicted record: 11-5, first place (1).

Carolina Panthers: Jake Delhomme is back from Tommy John surgery and is healthy again. With Delhomme under center, the Panthers are a MUCH better team. They are returning to their roots: a power running game with Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams. My big question mark is the front four. Aside from Julius Peppers, who I think will rebound and be the monster stud he's been earlier in his career, this unit is the biggest question mark on the team. The LB and DB corps are much better than last season. John Kasay is older and nearing the end of a stellar career, but he's still one of the more accurate kickers. The loss of Steve Smith for the first two games will be tough to overcome. It's going to be the difference between winning the division and being a wild card team. Predicted record: 10-6, second place (6).

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: the defense is the strong point of this team; they finished second overall in the NFL. Offensively, there are HUGE question marks, particularly at WR and QB. Jeff Garcia has been injured most of camp, and when he has appeared in games, he's been rusty. Joey Galloway is still productive, but at age 36 can he be the receiver that has had three straight 1,000 yard receiving seasons? And who can catch the ball other than Galloway? Can Earnest Graham and Cadillac Williams stay healthy? The offensive line is strong, with Jeff Faine being the oldest member at age 26. While the defense will keep the Bucs in a lot of games, the offense has too many question marks. And no team has repeated as division champion since the division was created in 2002. I expect the trend to continue. Predicted record: 7-9, third place (no playoffs).

Atlanta Falcons: when you have a rookie as your starting QB, your team is a mess. Matt Ryan is smart, has poise and toughness, but he's going to get his brains beaten in. Michael Turner is a good addition to the offense and should take some of the pressure off Ryan. The defense is a good mix of veterans and youngsters. While this team is a mess now, they are taking giant steps in the right direction. Give this team another year or two to contend. Predicted record: 3-13, fourth place (no playoffs). 

Tomorrow: NFC North, NFC West.

Washington Redskins: this is Jason Campbell's time to shine. With a new coach and some stability, he should improve greatly. Of course, having Clinton Portis and Santana Moss helps. With the addition of Jason Taylor, the pass rush should improve. While the 'Skins are still behind the Cowboys and Eagles, they're moving in the right direction. Give new head coach Jim Zorn a couple of years. Predicted record: 6-10, fourth place (no playoffs).

Around the world of the NFL faster than Andre Davis taking not one, but TWO kickoff returns to The House, Crappafoni Pictures presents, spaghetti western style, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Week 17.

THE GOOD

New England Patriots: what more can be said? Perfection. 16-0. And the way they beat the Giants is the stuff legends are made of. Tom Brady got sharper as the game went on. But the playoffs are a totally different animal. The Pats better be prepared to win when they score in the teens.

Carolina Panthers: as has been a recent tradition under John Fox, the Cats went out and won their last game of the season on the road. Matt Moore was efficient, throwing for 174 yards and 2 TDs. DeAngelo Williams rushed for 121 yards and a TD. Granted, Tampa Bay was resting its starters after the first half of the game, but a win is a win, and the Cats will take it.

Washington Redskins: was that a DOMINATING defensive performance, or WHAT? The Skins defense held the Cowboys to one yard rushing. FOR THE GAME. Watching the game, I could sense the late Sean Taylor encouraging his mates; they played very inspired ball, particularly on defense. I saw the Redskins' D-line pushing the Cowboys' O-line around all game long. Now they're on to Seattle, and I think it's a very winnable game for the Redskins.

Green Bay Packers: they put an ####-kicking on the Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLLLions, plain and simple. They seemed to shake the hangover of the loss to the Bears from their systems.

Tennessee Titans: they got it done, on the road, in a hostile environment, minus Vince Young for the last third of the game. Granted, it was against the Colts' second and third string, but a win is a win in the NFL. Kerry Collins was sharp, keeping the chains moving, and extending drives. Now they're on to San Diego next weekend.

Atlanta Falcons: one of the rare times this season I've put them in the Good category. They did beat a playoff team, and scoreboard is everything in the NFL.

Houston Texans: or more specifically, Andre Davis. He returned two kickoffs to The House in a 42-28 win over Jacksonville. The Texans finished 8-8 for the first time in franchise history. The AFC South is the only division to have all four of its teams finish .500 or better.  

THE BAD

Dallas Cowboys: one of the REALLY rare times (maybe the ONLY time this season) I've put them in the Bad category. They proceeded to set a franchise low for yards rushing in a game: ONE yard. Thirty-six inches. Three feet. That broke the previous low of seven yards set in 1998 against New Orleans. Tony Romo was not sharp. The Redskins' defense had a lot to do with that. The Cowboys' O-line was pushed around by the stout Redskins' D-line all game long.

St. Louis Rams: I know you wanted the season to end, but I didn't realize how desperate you were to finish it. They threw in the towel and were ready for their tee times. Now you're picking second overall.

Miami Dolphins: you were watching the back of Chad Johnson all game long as he was blowing by you. Ocho Cinco took a short pass and took it to The House from 70 yards away. You couldn't WAIT for the season to end; it couldn't end soon enough. Now comes the inevitable purging by The Big Tuna, Bill Parcells.

Detroit LLLLLLLLLLLLions: you, too, couldn't wait for the season to end. Ford Field will be a ghost town come tomorrow as the players can't leave fast enough. Many of them will be attending their alma maters' bowl games. Others will be taking a much-needed vacation. Still several others have played their last game in a LLLLLLLLLions' uniform, as they will either be released or leave via free agency.

THE UGLY

Kansas City at N.Y. Jets: this epic battle of bad teams was compounded by this game going into overtime. What, did neither team WANT to win?

Buffalo at Philadelphia: a 17-9 yawnfest played in rainy, chilly weather. It would be one thing if both teams were in the playoffs. But neither team is in the playoffs.

Around the world of the NFL faster than an Ahmad Bradshaw 88-yard TD run in the snow at Buffalo, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's vignette of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

THE GOOD

Pittsburgh Steelers: they made some big plays, particularly early in the game. They found a complement to Fast Willie Parker in Najeh Davenport. Ike Taylor had a Pick Six Special late in the game that sealed the win.

Jacksonville Jaguars: they thoroughly dominated an overmatched Raiders team. On the ground, in the air--it didn't matter. With a playoff berth on the line, they were going to get it done right, and they did.

Cincinnati Bengals: or more specifically, their defense. They picked off Derek Anderson four times, leading to three TDs, including two TDs within the last two minutes of the first half. Then the defense withstood a furious Browns rally.

Philadelphia Eagles: they put the Saints' playoff hopes on life support with their huge win in New Orleans. Donovan McNabb came up huge, including a 40-yard run to set up a score. McNabb also threw for 3 TDs.

New York Giants: they withstood a 14-0 deficit in the first quarter and dominated from that point on, outscoring the Bills 38-7. Both Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs rushed for over 145 yards. Bradshaw ripped off the NFL's longest run of the season, 88 yards for a TD in a driving snowstorm.

San Francisco 49ers: their game against Tampa Bay was one of the hardest hitting, most physical games in recent memory. They stared into the eyes of the Big Bad Bucs and didn't flinch. It was good old-fashioned, old-school smash mouth football. In the end, the Niners executed enough to pull out the win. Patrick Willis was the Stud of the Game, registering 20 tackles, two sacks, and a forced fumble.

Chicago Bears: it looked like THEY were the #2 seeded team in the NFC and the Packers were the cellar dwellers. The Bears' special teams blocked two punts and forced a 9-yard punt. Brian Urlacher returned a Pick Six Special for the first time in his career.

Washington Redskins: in a game they HAD to have, they put forth a great team effort and got it done. Todd Collins was sharp, Clinton Portis ran and passed all over the Vikings' defense, rushing and passing for a TD. Now with a win over the Cowboys next week, they're in the playoffs.

New England Patriots: it looked like they were going to run and hide from the Dolphins, leading 28-0 at halftime. The Fins actually outscored the Pats in the second half, holding the Pats scoreless. Laurence Maroney rushed for a career high 156 yards on just 14 carries.

THE BAD

Oakland Raiders: after that effort against the Jaguars. They were outplayed in every facet of the game. The Jags made the Raiders look like the bad team that they are.

Baltimore Ravens: are they the worst team in the NFL, or what? I think they're worse than the Dolphins, and that's saying something.

Green Bay Packers: sure, you're the second-best team in the NFC. Could have fooled me. You played like the second-WORST team in the NFC. That was ca-ca.

THE UGLY

N.Y. Jets at Tennessee: 16 total points between the teams. It seemed like neither team wanted to win. From Tennessee's perspective, style points aren't rewarded in the NFL; just wins and losses. The Titans' win means they control their own destiny. Win, and they're in.

Atlanta at Arizona: this was a matchup from hell. A bad team against another bad team. Depending on your perspective it was either a shootout or just bad defenses. I tend to lean towards the latter.

Those are my nominations. Feel free to opine with your nominations.  

Now that the Carolina Panthers have been eliminated, it's time for a quick season in review and what I think they should do next season.

SEASON IN REVIEW

• The QB Shuffle: The season started with such promise. Jake Delhomme was off to the best start of his career, with 8 TDs and 1 INT through the first three games of the season, and a QB rating of over 110. Not surprisingly, the Panthers started off well. Then Delhomme suffered a season-ending elbow injury against the Atlanta Falcons. Then let the QB carousel begin. First David Carr, then Vinny Testaverde, now Matt Moore. Carr ended up being a colossal bust. He's skittish in the pocket, and shows none of the confidence that he had coming out of college. Vinny actually looked good his first few starts and the Panthers seemed to turn the corner. Then he got nicked up, forcing the Cats to turn back to Carr. Carr so stunk up the joint that Moore was forced into playing. Moore's finest moment this season came last week, when the Panthers shocked the Seahawks 13-10. Moore was the first undrafted rookie QB to win his first start since 1974. Moore will more than likely start at Tampa Bay next week to finish the season.
• The defense: they were very inconsistent this season, following great efforts with real stinkers. This is a unit that is searching for an identity. Julius Peppers had a very un-Peppers like season. Mike Rucker is battling through creaky knees and may retire after this season. Charles Johnson was playing his best game of the season until suffering a serious injury in the Cowboys' game. He was disruptive against the run, and playing very well in pass coverage, at one point defensing a pass 20 yards downfield. The linebacking corps ended up being the strongest part of the defense. Jon Beason and Thomas Davis are two of the fastest LBs in the league. The DB corps aside from Richard Marshall leave a lot to be desired.
• Special teams: John Kasay is still very consistent and one of the league's better kickers, but the Cats need a new punter. Jason Baker isn't getting the job done. Ryne Robinson, after a slow start, is finding his stride and is getting playing time at WR. Eventually he could be Steve Smith's successor.

OFFSEASON MOVES

Here are some suggested moves I think the Panthers should make in the offseason. John Fox is expected to return for his seventh season.

• Sign an impact free agent on defense. Jared Allen would be an excellent fit and complement Julius Peppers. He has a motor that just doesn't quit.
• Now that Matt Moore will be the QB of the future, the Cats can focus on other, more glaring needs in the draft. They need a shutdown CB opposite Richard Marshall. They need a power RB in the mold of Stephen Davis.
• They need an identity on offense. Will they be a power running team or a pass-happy team? I'd like to see them return to the power running game and use DeAngelo Williams as a complement to a power runner.
• They also need a second WR to complement Steve Smith. Someone that CAN catch the ball and move the sticks.
• Relieve Mike Trgovac of his defensive coordinator duties. He had an ATROCIOUS game plan against the Cowboys!! He let Tony Romo have ALL KINDS OF TIME to pick the Panthers' defense apart. Replace him with someone that is NOT afraid to blitz and put pressure on the opposing QB.

If the Panthers make the right moves going into next season, they can be a playoff team again. But they have to have a superb draft AND sign a premier free agent on defense.

Around the world of the NFL faster than the San Diego Chargers’ scoring rampage, Crappafoni Pictures brings you, the fan, the NFL’s version of the spaghetti western, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

THE GOOD

San Francisco 49ers:  they played their best game of the season in yesterday’s win over Cincinnati. Shaun Hill, in his first NFL start, was superb. Frank Gore rushed for a season-best 138 yards. While it’s too early to tell, the 49ers definitely played better than they have all season.

Carolina Panthers: the defense brought back memories of the 2003 season, when the team made its only Super Bowl appearance. They swarmed all over the Seahawks’ potent offense, limiting the Hawks‘ ground game to 44 yards for the game. Richard Marshall made a key fumble recovery late in the game to set up the Panthers’ only TD. Matt Moore was efficient in his first NFL start. He became the fourth Panthers’ QB to win a game this season.

Miami Dolphins: you earned this win. Cleo Lemon was stellar, passing for over 300 yards and the game-winning TD in overtime. And he didn’t throw an interception. Lemon gets my nomination for AFC Player of The Week.

Philadelphia Eagles: the defense showed up to play BIG-TIME. They harassed a normally stellar Tony Romo into three interceptions. And they sacked him four times and forced two fumbles. Brian Westbrook made a heads-up play just before the end of the game. Rather than scoring, he fell down at the Cowboys’ one yard line, denying the Cowboys a shot at coming back. 

San Diego Chargers: was it a football game or a track meet? It’s kind of the football equivalent of teammates getting into a fight at the bat rack because they want to be the first to take their hacks at a struggling pitcher. It seemed like the Chargers couldn’t wait to get on offense to batter the LLLLLLLLLLLions’ defense. The Chargers’ defense also battered the LLLLLLLLLLLions’ offense, too. If it were a heavyweight fight, it would have been stopped in the first round.

Jacksonville Jaguars: great win by the Jags. To go into a hostile environment and beat the Steelers in their house speaks volumes about this team. They pounded the Steelers’ defense to the tune of over 200 yards rushing on a snow-covered field. Be very wary of this team in the postseason. They CAN move the ball on the ground. David Garrard is vastly underrated, but he gets the job done. He takes care of the ball and is very efficient.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: yes, they beat a demoralized Atlanta Falcons team; they were supposed to. But what stands out is the first kickoff return for a TD in FRANCHISE HISTORY. Since the Bucs came into the league in 1976, OVER 300 times a kickoff has been returned for a TD. And until today, not one by the Bucs. Michael Spurlock did the trick, returning a first quarter kickoff 90 yards for a TD. He will forever be etched into Buccaneers’ lore, something he can tell his children and grandchildren.

Cleveland Browns: or more specifically, Jamal Lewis. In a blizzard, Lewis rushed for 163 yards. Lewis also broke the 1,000 yard barrier for the season. Lewis was a battering ram and battered the Bills’ defense into submission.

THE BAD

Baltimore Ravens: pathetic. That’s all I’ll say. Your play spoke VOLUMES about how bad you really are.

Cincinnati Bengals: they have given up on this season. Remember, there is no “D” in Cincinnati. Time to blow this team up and start over. Start at the head coach. While I think Marvin Lewis is a good man, he has lost this team. Time for him to go. They had their opportunity and it’s slammed shut with the window boarded up.

Detroit LLLLLLLLLLions: you had golfing at Torrey Pines on the brain. Might as well make reservations for tee times at Torrey Pines, the TPC at Summerlin, Pebble Beach, etc. You’re not making the playoffs. So much for Jon Kitna’s guarantee of double-digit wins.

Atlanta Falcons: while I feel for the fans who felt betrayed by their franchise QB and a coach with no loyalty, the bottom line is that the players are professionals and owe it to the fans to give an honest effort. No wonder it’s ugly in the ATL. 

THE UGLY

Buffalo at Cleveland: this game was better suited for the Iditarod dog sled race. The snow was coming in sheets and blowing sideways. Cleveland won 8-0; it was the first 8-0 game since 1929. Snow was THREE inches deep in some spots on the field. On the other hand, it was good old-fashioned smash mouth football.

Atlanta Falcons: UGH. They’re players in the Darren McFadden Sweepstakes.

Around the world of the NFL faster than a Richard Marshall Pick Six Special, Crappafoni Pictures brings you the fan, in living color, the NFL's version of the spaghetti western, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. And away we go!!

THE GOOD

Carolina Panthers: it's been a LONG time since I've been able to put the Cats in the Good category. For the first time all season, the defense showed up and BALLED. Coming into the game, the Panthers forced only 10 turnovers. Today, they forced SIX turnovers, including the Pick Six Special that turned the game around. The defense harassed Trent Dilfer and the 49ers all game long, causing four picks and recovering two fumbles. Throw in six sacks, and you have a complete game by the Panthers' defense.

Oakland Raiders: for beating their archnemesis, the Denver Broncos. Justin Fargas was once again the star, rushing for 146 yards on 33 carries. The Raiders as a team rushed for 175 yards. This game also marked the NFL debut of the first pick in the draft, JaMarcus Russell. He was 4 of 7 for 56 yards. Simply put, they put a good old-fashioned beatdown on the Broncos.

Dallas Cowboys: even though this game was played last Thursday, they are in this category because they are the best team in the NFC. Tony Romo was stellar again, throwing 4 TD passes. Terrell Owens was superb, grabbing 7 of Romo's passes for 156 yards and a TD. They did what they had to do to win. Now they have the inside track for home field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. At 11-1, the Cowboys are off to the best start in the franchise's storied history.

Minnesota Vikings: don't look now, but they are one of the hottest teams in the NFC right now. The two-headed beast of Chester Taylor and Adrian Peterson is clicking on all cylinders. The Vikings have the inside track to the playoffs right now. They would be a #6 seed if the season ended today. Another bright spot was rookie Aundray Allison. Allison, filling in for an injured Troy Williamson, set a Vikings' franchise record with a 103-yard kickoff return for a TD.

Seattle Seahawks: this was a HUGE win for the Hawks. Any time you can beat the Eagles IN Philly, you'll be put into the Good category. The Hawks' defense rose to the occasion, picking off A.J. Feeley four times, three by Lofa Tatupu. Tatupu was all over the field, amassing 11 tackles in addition to the three picks. Good win by the Hawks. This puts them in the driver's seat in the NFC West.

THE BAD

San Francisco 49ers: simply put, they played WORSE than the Dolphins, and that's saying something. Dilfer had the game from hell, Frank Gore was MIA, and the Niners' "skill" players had a severe case of the dropsies. Patriots Nation was rooting HARD for the Panthers. (The Patriots have the Niners' first round draft pick in next year's draft, and they'll probably draft Darren McFadden, rendering them unbeatable for the next decade. Imagine McFadden behind the Pats' O-line--I can see him becoming the NFL's first 300-yard rusher in a single game)

Miami Dolphins: the streak is alive! Zero and 12 and counting! They could well become the first team in history to lose 16 straight games in the regular season. At least you'll have Glenn Dorsey next year.

Detroit Lions: what kind of effort was that? Kiss your playoff aspirations bye-bye. I'm convinced that unless the Ford family sells the team, the Lions will continue to foster the culture of losing.

Atlanta Falcons: or more specifically, Joey Harrington. Harrington was pulled for Chris *(*#@&*(*^@ Redman. Being pulled for Redman will get you in the Bad category every single time. Joey, take comfort in the fact that you weren't pulled for a QB with NO experience, like last week, when David Carr was pulled for Matt Moore.

THE UGLY

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins: this game is the only reason San Francisco at Carolina wasn't included in the Ugly category. As one who lives on the West Coast, I'm glad I wasn't subject to this game. The Jets got their third win of the season at the expense of the hapless Dolphins.

Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers: it was a sloppy game, the weather and the turf being great equalizers. At the same time, it was old-school football, lining 'em up and smashing them in the mouth.

Those are my nominations! Your nominations are more than welcome.   

This is a place for fans to vent (and rant) about who they would like to call out for bad play, bad decisions, or just plain sucking. You can name a player, coach, owner, fans, team executives, agents, or schools. I am expanding this to include NCAA teams, coaches, and/or players. Do any of you have anyone (within reason) to throw under the Bus? Here's your forum!! I have a few nominees:

NFL

Pittsburgh Steelers: losing to a one-win team is totally inexcusable! This is a team the Steelers should beat IN THEIR SLEEP. I have a healthy respect for the Men of Steel, but to go into the Meadowlands and lay a big, fat egg?? I could see losing to the Giants in OT, but the JETS? Under the Bus you go!!

New Orleans Saints: you've GOT to be kidding me!! This is a team that fought back from an 0-4 start to 4-4. Now they've lost their last two games. Stick a fork in 'em, they're DONE. Under the Bus you go, not to be heard from again this season!

Atlanta Falcons: for rolling over and playing dead against Tampa Bay. At home, no less. This was a game they could have used to build some momentum to finish strong. To quote a former Arizona Cardinals coach, "THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!" We thought you sucked. We still do.

Cincinnati Bengals: are you becoming the Bungles again? Or are you auditioning for The Longest Yard 3, as the prison team again? Four picks, including TWO Pick Six Specials TO THE SAME GUY will get you thrown under the Bus every single time.

MLB

Scott Boras: he gets thrown under the Bus for being a greedy ####, and having Pay-Rod opt out DURING the World Series, and overestimating the market for P-Rod.

Bud Selig: for presiding over the Steroid Era in MLB, and trashing the integrity of the game. Bud, this Bus is for you! (sound of Bus running over Bud Selig and keeping going)  

NASCAR

ESPN/ABC: THANK GOD it was the LAST telecast for this bunch of yahoos. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective) it was also the last race of the season.

Those are my nominees. Feel free to come on in with yours!

I've been sitting here, thinking, what should I write about tonight? I feel the inspiration to write, but am not sure what to write about. Well, I found something to write about. I'm ruminating about what is happening in the sports world, and I have some random musings.

• The NFL Network ended up striking gold TWICE this season: New England vs. Pittsburgh and Dallas vs. Green Bay. Of course, they also struck fool's gold with San Francisco vs. Cincinnati.
• In order to ensure Adrian Peterson's long-term NFL survival, it's imperative the Vikings shut him down for the season. His knee injury will set him back at least six weeks. The Vikings will be playing for position in the NFL Draft, so to shut him down could ensure them playing for a stud O-lineman or QB.
• Don't look now, but the Falcons are playing like the second-best team in the NFC South. In what was essentially a throw-away season due to the Michael V**k fiasco, the Falcons have won two in a row. Of course, the NFC South is garbage this year.
• Stephon Marbury has QUIT on the Knicks. He is NOT a leader. If I'm Isiah, I put him on the inactive list for the season. I don't trade him, I don't release him, I just inactivate him without pay until further notice. I don't buy him out, either. He can #### and moan all he wants, but you, Isiah, have to get tough on him.
• Suddenly the Boston Celtics are relevant. Too bad the Los Angeles Lakers are irrelevant. The NBA needs BOTH the Lakers AND the Celtics to be elite teams.
• Is Adam Jones' new attorney the new Johnnie Cochran? Jones' attorney cut a deal with the Clark County D.A. and all Jones has to do is community service. If you're a gang-####ing thug, or a wannabe gang####er, you want that attorney's name and phone number on speed dial. He'll get YOU community service and keep you out of the hole.
• NFL teams that are exceeding expectations: Cleveland, Detroit, Buffalo.
• NFL teams that are underachieving: I could put A LOT of teams there, but Carolina leads the pack. They have NO heart or grit. John Fox is looking like Dead Man Walking. If the Panthers end up 4-12, which is becoming a real possibility, look for Fox to be fired. An intriguing possibility: Bill Cowher (he lives in Raleigh, NC).
• I don't expect any big free agent signings in MLB until early December. I can see some second level signings by Thanksgiving. A-Rod will go to Southern California, most likely with the Angels. I think the Dodgers will balk at Scott Boras' contract demands for his megastar client.
• Seahawks' fans are crowing and feeling good about their team again. While you have a very solid QB and leader in Matt Hasselbeck, your lack of running game will bite you in the #### in the playoffs. Shaun Alexander is a shell of his old self. He's been used so much in the last three years he's broken down and has gotten real old real suddenly.
• Jimmie Johnson is having a season for the ages in NASCAR. He has won the last four races and with an 18th place or better finish he will repeat as champion. A win at Homestead and Johnson will put his own stamp on history. No driver in the modern era of NASCAR has won five consecutive races. Johnson is only the fourth driver to win four in a row (Harry Gant, Mark Martin, and Jeff Gordon are the others).
• I think only fans of Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson are compelled by the Chase this year. As for this Kevin Harvick fan, I was pulling for Clint Bowyer to make a run at Gordon and Johnson, but it didn't happen.
• Is this the craziest year in memory in college football, or what? App State beating Michigan, Stanford beating USC, KANSAS in the top 3, Oregon on a collision course with LSU for the national championship, Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Miami being WAY down, etc.
• I can make a case of the following teams in the national championship picture: LSU, Oregon, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Both LSU and Oregon need to run the table. Kansas has to run the table and hope either LSU or Oregon loses. Oklahoma, same thing as Kansas. The loser of the Big 12 title game could still end up in the Fiesta Bowl.
• The Miami Dolphins could go winless this season. Here's their remaining schedule: 11/18, at Philadelphia; 11/26, at Pittsburgh; 12/2, New York Jets; 12/9, at Buffalo; 12/16, Baltimore; 12/23, at New England; 12/30, Cincinnati. Of those games, only the Jets and maybe Baltimore are winnable.
• It's gotta be tough to be a sports fan in South Beach. The Marlins are in a perpetual fire sale, the Heat are underachieving, the 'Canes are nowhere near what they once were, and the Panthers are under .500 and nowhere near Stanley Cup contention. And of course, the Dolphins are winless with a chance to make history in reverse.
• Conversely, it doesn't suck to be a Boston sports fan. The Red Sox won their second World Series championship in four years. The Patriots could very well run the table all the way to their fourth Super Bowl title. The Celtics are among the NBA's elite again. Boston College is having a great season. Even the Bruins are above .500 in a tough Northeast Division.
• The Browns-Steelers game was one of the best games of the season in the NFL. The Steelers showed why they are among the NFL's elite.

That's enough ruminating for now. Feel free to chew the cud and commisserate.  

Around the world of the NFL faster than an Antonio Cromartie 109-yard return of a missed FG, Crappafoni Pictures gives you this week's spaghetti western version of Week 9 in the NFl.

THE GOOD

New England at Indianapolis: unlike most big games, this one lived up to the hype. It took a great comeback by Tom Brady and Company to pull out a 24-20 win, preserved by a late turnover. The Pats were 10 points down going into the fourth quarter. Good job, Pats. The 1972 Dolphins should be VERY worried about the Pats running the table, since the Pats' remaining schedule has only two winning teams on it (Pittsburgh and the NY Giants).

Minnesota Vikings: or more specifically, Adrian Peterson. Even though it's been a couple of days since he set the single-game rushing record, it becomes more and more amazing. He SINGLE-HANDEDLY beat the San Diego Chargers.

Dallas Cowboys: they carved up the Eagles IN Philly like John Madden carving up his turducan back in the day. The Cowboys have to be considered the favorites in the NFC to be playing in Glendale in early February.

Detroit Lions: they simply put a good old-fashioned ####-kicking on the Denver Broncos. The ironic thing is that the Broncos actually had the edge on time of possession. But four turnovers did in the Broncos, including a 66-yard Pick Six Special by DT Shaun Rogers. The Lions knocked Jay Cutler out of the game with a leg injury.

New Orleans Saints: is it safe to say, "THEY ARE BACK?" Drew Brees came up HUGE, passing for 445 yards and 3 TDs. Reggie Bush added a 1-yard TD run in the first quarter. I will say that they are back, especially considering the NFC South is very weak this year. The Buccaneers are inconsistent, Carolina has QB issues, and the Falcons are in disarray.

Pittsburgh Steelers: they made a statement by the way they carved up the Ravens' once-vaunted defense. I know I'm not overlooking the Steelers. They are the ONE team that CAN hang with the Patriots and possibly beat them. They have a very strong, balanced offense, the defense is stout, physical, and will smash you in the mouth, and are well-coached by Mike Tomlin and his staff.

Cleveland Browns: Derek Anderson was stellar yet again, passing for 364 yards and four Browns receivers each had 67 yards or more in receiving yards. Jamal Lewis only rushed for 37 yards but had four TDs. It helps a young QB like Anderson immensely to have a battering ram like Lewis back there to punch it in from short yardage. This team is for REAL. Look for them to be playing in January as a wild card.

THE BAD

Carolina Panthers: they weren't just bad; they were PATHETIC. David Carr passed for a MEASLY 107 yards. For the GAME. He's the only player in the history of the NFL to contain a future Hall of Famer in Steve Smith. The Panthers can't stop anyone, and they can't move the ball. A VERY bad combination. I see this team going 6-10 and missing the playoffs yet again. I predict that John Fox will lose his job over this, either by resignation or by firing. The next Panthers' head coach? Bill Cowher.

Oakland Raiders: you can't expect to win by turning the ball over three times. But that is what the Raiders did. Josh McCown was picked off three times, including once in the red zone by LB DeMeco Ryans as the Raiders were driving for a touchdown.

San Francisco 49ers: even with four turnovers, they STILL had a chance to win, but QB Alex Smith threw his third pick of the day to seal it for the Falcons. Frank Gore did not play due to an injury, and that hurt the Niners' ground game.

Baltimore Ravens: this is a team that got old suddenly. Ray Lewis, while still a good LB, is clearly not the LB he used to be. He simply doesn't have the talent around him that he used to have. Steve McNair is on his last legs as an NFL QB. I admire his competitiveness but his tank is dry. The Steelers exposed the Ravens as an old team.

THE UGLY

San Diego Chargers: giving up nearly 300 yards to Adrian Peterson still boggles my mind, since the Chargers have a good, swarming defense.

Arizona at Tampa Bay: this game won't be making ESPN Classic any time soon. Earnest Graham did have a good effort, rushing for 124 yards and a TD.

San Francisco at Atlanta: okay, this wasn't exactly New England at Indy, but this game set the NFL back many years. And it wasn't that long ago both of these teams were in the playoffs.

As I peer across the NFL landscape, there are some worthy candidates for being thrown under the bus:

• San Francisco 49ers: one word--BRUTAL. Ineptness on offense and special teams, missed assignments, and general boneheadedness. It's one thing to lose to a better team if you play well, like the Niners did in losing to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's a better team at present. But the Niners lost a game they should have won by at least 2 TD's.
• Atlanta Falcons: particularly BOTH QB's. Stats don't lie, and both Harrington and Leftwich were BAD this week. In fairness to Harrington, it was his first bad week of the season; he's been playing well up to this point.
• Detroit Lions: they were NOT ready to play today. How else can you explain a 34-3 BEATDOWN? I figured they would lose to the Redskins, but not via a beatdown.

NFL fans, feel free to chime in on YOUR candidates to be thrown under the bus!!!

Around the world of the NFL faster than the hot-air balloon in the motion picture Around the World in 80 Days, I bring you Week 5 of the NFL version of the Spaghetti Western The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, sponsored by Crappafoni Pictures....HERE WE GO!!

THE GOOD

San Diego Chargers: the scoreboard explains it all. San Diego 41, Denver 3. They were dominant in all phases of the game. In an eleven second span of the first quarter, the Chargers scored two TD’s. Michael Turner, LT’s backup, was the rushing stud today, with 147 yards on only ten carries, including a 74-yard touchdown run.

Oakland Raiders: yes, they had a bye week, but because of San Diego’s win in Denver and Kansas City’s loss to Jacksonville, the Raiders are in first place. Yes, the FIRST PLACE Oakland Raiders!! 

Washington Redskins: they held the Detroit Lions’ offense to 144 total yards for the game. Jason Campbell had another superb game, going 23 of 28 for 248 yards and two TD’s. The Redskins’ defense just beat the #### out of the Lions’ offense early and often.

Pittsburgh Steelers: when you shut out a good team like the Seahawks, you’ll be in this section every single time. ESPECIALLY when you have defensive studs like Casey Hampton and Troy Polamalu out.

New England Patriots:  they dominated a pesky Cleveland Browns team in every facet of the game. They sent the Browns crashing back to earth by slapping them up and down the field.

THE BAD

San Francisco 49ers: I was jocking this team as a possible NFC West champion. They looked absolutely putrid; so putrid I turned on the NASCAR race from Talladega. They were inept on offense; their defense is what kept the game close.

Denver Broncos: this was one of those games in which they were administered a total ####-kicking. It was administered in their own crib, no less. Every team has a game in which NOTHING goes right. For Denver, today was that game.

Atlanta Falcons: they had less than 200 yards against a middle of the road Titans defense. While the Titans’ defense isn’t bad, it’s not exactly the 1985 Bears, either. 

Detroit Lions: I expected a better effort than 144 total yards for the game. This was supposed to be a good test for a team that expects a lot out of itself. They got an F-minus.

THE UGLY

Baltimore at San Francisco: this game won’t be making ESPN Classic any time soon. In fact it was so boring I turned to the race. Here is the sequence: Baltimore--run, run, pass, punt. San Francisco--run, run, pass, punt. Repeat sequence for Baltimore. Repeat sequence for San Francisco. You get the drift.

Miami Dolphins: or more specifically, the injury to Trent Green. Green suffered a concussion attempting to throw a block on the Texans’ Travis Johnson. Green was briefly hospitalized, but was allowed to return to Miami with the team. While I admire Green’s willingness to throw blocks to help his team win, at the very least he could have just got in Johnson’s way and it would have been just as effective. Now the Dolphins have to wonder if Green’s finished.

Kansas City Chiefs: they were very nearly shut out at home for the first time in 13 years. It took a meaningless touchdown on the last play of the game to prevent the shutout. They remembered they were the Kansas City Chiefs of Opening Day. I heard that they are distributing milk cartons with a picture of Larry Johnson’s face on the carton, saying, Have you seen this man? He has been the Incredible Invisible Man.

Carolina at New Orleans: it was an incredible display of offensive ineptitude for most of the game. It took a determined Steve Smith to get a key first down by running over a Saints’ defensive back on third down. The first down enabled the Panthers' John Kasay to kick a 53 yard game winning FG as time expired.