Around the world of the NFL faster than the Raiders blowing a fourth quarter lead, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you in high-def intensity, Week 4 of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Sit back and enjoy!
THE GOOD
New York Jets: did Brett Favre turn the clock back 15 years? SIX TD passes! This was the first time the Jets turned him loose. He came within one TD pass of matching the NFL record. Talk about a shootout! If you love offense, this game was for you! It was a high-speed, high-def shootout at the OK Corral won by the J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!, 56-35. Not to be outdone, Kurt Warner passed for nearly 500 yards in the defeat.
Kansas City Chiefs: they earned their first win of the season against the previously unbeaten Denver Broncos. First of all, it was surprising the Chiefs won to begin with. But the way they won was even more surprising: forcing four Denver turnovers and taking advantage of them. Larry Johnson was a stud, gashing the Broncos for 198 yards on 28 carries, including a 65-yarder that set up a TD.
Washington Redskins: going into Big D and putting a beatdown on the Cowboys will get you into this category every single time. Make no mistake, that was a beatdown administered by the Redskins. Yes, the margin of victory was only 2 points, but the game wasn't even that close. Only because the Redskins played prevent defense was it even that close. They enjoyed a nearly 2 to 1 advantage in TOP. Once again, they did not commit a turnover, remaining the only team in the NFL to not commit a turnover this season.
Tennessee Titans: they put a beatdown on a good Minnesota team to the tune of four turnovers. The Titans scored all their TDs off Minnesota turnovers. The defense also registered four sacks and an INT.
Carolina Panthers: could this be shades of the 2003 season? Steve Smith making big plays, Muhsin Muhammad making big catches to move the chains, Jake Delhomme making the passes he needed. Delhomme completed 20 of 29 for 294 yards and 2 TDs. Jonathan Stewart did his best Stephen Davis impression, scoring on an 8 yard TD run. The defense pitched in with two sacks, and limited the Falcons' potent offense to 268 yards.
Chicago Bears: their defense is playing at the level of a few years ago, when they made it to Super Bowl 42. Very tough and swarming. And that goal-line stand! That turned the momentum of the game Chicago's way. Kyle Orton threw for three TDs, all in the first half. Matt Forte kept the chains moving, something they haven't had since Thomas Jones a few years ago.
New Orleans Saints: Deuce McAllister is healthy. Great news for Saints fans, bad news for the rest of the league. McAllister moved the chains and set up Drew Brees to make huge plays. When this team is completely healthy, and they will be by their bye week, this team can be a Super Bowl contender. The Saints' defense had six sacks of J.T. O'Sullivan, and forced three turnovers.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Diego Chargers, Buffalo Bills.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is listed first for a reason--THEY SUCK. This is a historically bad team, bad enough that it cost Scott Linehan his job 1/4 of the way into the season. As long as they remain winless, they'll be the first team listed in the Bad category.
Cincinnati Bengals: while this team is a mess, it's not at the level of the Rams, yet. They lost the Battle of Ohio to a slightly less woeful team in the Cleveland Browns. They'll be right behind the Rams for this week, only because the Detroit Lions had a bye.
Oakland Raiders: to say they are a dysfunctional team is like saying the sun rises from the east. They have put the "dys" in dysfunctional. And it's not the team per se; they play hard and sell out for Lane Kiffin. They don't know how to win. You can go on and on about how much Al Davis has contributed to the game, and he has. But his time has come and gone. The downfall of this team started when he let Jon Gruden go. When the Raiders are good, the league is much better for it. Now Kiffin wants to change the losing culture, and he and Davis are butting heads. They had a chance to choke out the Chargers and didn't. They could be 2-2 or even 3-1, but they're 1-3 instead.
San Francisco 49ers: what a horrid display they put on against the Saints. This was supposed to be a good test. They failed miserably. They failed to account for Deuce McAllister, who repeatedly moved the chains, setting up Drew Brees to burn the Niners' secondary for huge plays. The vaunted Gold Rush was fool's gold against the Saints, not registering a sack and putting very little pressure on Brees.
Denver Broncos: what the hell was that, losing to a previously winless team? Not only that, they put a BEATDOWN on your ####. The less said about you, the better. Now go play with the other mediocre teams and stop posing as a playoff team, because you're not.
THE UGLY
Cleveland at Cincinnati: any time two winless teams match up, it goes into this category. Someone HAD to win, might as well have been Cleveland.
Denver Broncos: this team played so pathetic and lackluster they get put in TWO categories this week. FOUR turnovers? Against one of the WORST defenses in the NFL? Yes, they outgained Kansas City, but most of that yardage came in garbage time, well after the outcome had been decided. Actually, three categories--I've added a FUGLY category for the Broncos.
Green Bay Packers: another team posing as a playoff team. Like Denver, the Pack committed four turnovers, only against a very good defense. I'll go easier on them, only because they were playing a very good Tampa Bay defense.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to chime in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Reggie Bush turning the corner and gaining huge yardage, Crappafoni Pictures presents to you, the avid NFL fan, this week's version of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Surf and Turf style. Enjoy!
THE GOOD
Dallas Cowboys: they went into Lambeau Field and totally throttled a very good Packers team for the nation to see. The Cowboys may have found a #2 receiver in Miles Austin. And their X-Factor so far? Felix Jones. All this guy does is make big plays. For all the talk of the Cowboys' offense, their defense is big, strong, fast, and PHYSICAL. They beat up the Packers into submission.
Miami Dolphins: for a team that was 1-15 last season, they have already matched their win total from last season. RB/QB Ronnie Brown threw as many TD passes than Matt Cassel. Not to mention gashing the Patriots' defense for FOUR rushing TDs. Ricky Williams got into the act, rushing for close to 100 yards (98, to be exact).
Jacksonville Jaguars: to go into Indianapolis and beat the Colts is DEFINITELY good. This was a must win game for the Jags.
Philadelphia Eagles: they pounded a very good Steelers team into submission. Jim Johnson threw everything at the Steelers, including the kitchen sink. I think the sink got a sack in that game. The Eagles recorded nine sacks and a safety. Totally dominating. Not to be overlooked was the punting of Sav Rocca, who kept the Steelers pinned deep in their own territory, allowing the Eagles to keep the pressure on Roethlisberger and the Steelers.
New York Giants: they survived a close, hard-fought game with the Cincinnati Bengals at home, doing what they needed to prevail. They showed the heart of a champion in defeating the Bengals and keeping their undefeated record intact.
Cincinnati Bengals: I'm going to break with tradition and put them in the Good category, despite losing. They went toe to toe with the defending Super Bowl champs and went to overtime before losing. Could they take this game and use it as motivation to turn around their season? Only time will tell.
San Diego Chargers: they won a wild shootout against the New York Jets, bringing back memories of Air Coryell. The Chargers punted only once in the game, meaning Mike Scifres had time to check out the hot babes in the stands. Good win by the Bolts.
Honorable Mention: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins, Denver Broncos.
THE BAD
Kansas City Chiefs: these guys are threatening to make this category their permanent home. Granted, they lost to a good Atlanta Falcons team, but they weren't competitive. This team is God-awful BAD.
Detroit Lions: bad, bad team. They were outmatched and outclassed by an up and coming 49ers team.
St. Louis Rams: nothing like some Lamb Chops for the Seattle Seahawks to fatten up on. The Hawks are still licking their chops after that sumptuous meal.
New England Patriots: this team is in SERIOUS trouble. Their defense is old, slow, and a shell of what they were five years ago. Miami just pushed them around the field and b-slapped them all day long.
Cleveland Browns: losing to a rookie QB is bad enough. But they were not competitive. There should have been a DefCon 5 alert for the citizens of Baltimore due to Derek Anderson stinking up the joint so badly. He was BRUTAL.
THE UGLY
Carolina Panthers: Jake Delhomme lost TWO fumbles, one that directly led to a TD. The defense turned journeyman Gus Frerotte into Joe FREAKING Montana. Was that Gus Frerotte or Joe Montana back there? The coaching staff abandoned the run early in the game when it was working. The Panthers also shot themselves in the feet too many times by committing numerous penalties. In short, the Panthers sleepwalked through the entire game. They weren't ready to play. My question is: did someone spike the Panthers' water with Lunesta?
Houston Texans: Matt Schaub threw three picks, including a Pick Six Special to Cortland Finnegan with 1:17 remaining in the game. Finnegan returned the gift a franchise record 99 yards to put the game away. Schaub was BRUTAL, going 17 for 37 for 188 yards.
Those are my Week 3 nominees. Feel free to come in with yours!
Around the world of the NFL faster than Ed Hochuli's whistle, Crappafoni Pictures presents this week's version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
THE GOOD
New York Giants: they thoroughly dominated a hapless St. Louis Rams. Good teams are supposed to dominate teams like the Rams, and the Giants did so. DE Justin Tuck's Pick Six Special was particularly impressive.
Tennessee Titans: boy, was I ever wrong about this team! The Titans' defense stuffed the Bengals' offense like a Thanksgiving turkey. To hold Carson Palmer to 134 yards passing is especially impressive. Great job by the Titans' defense.
Buffalo Bills: another team I was wrong about. To go into Jacksonville and beat a Jaguars team many thought could reach the Super Bowl, awesome. Trent Edwards was stellar, completing 20 of 25 for 239 yards and a TD.
Green Bay Packers: they ran and passed on the Lions at will, to the tune of 447 total yards and 48 points. Aaron Rodgers continues to prove that the Packers' brass made the right decision, completing 24 of 38 for 328 yards and 3 TDs.
Carolina Panthers: I put them in this category because of their comeback from a 17-3 deficit to win 20-17. Jonathan Stewart continues to impress, scoring twice, the last one coming with less than 4 minutes left in the game. The Panthers' defense rose to the occasion in the second half, stuffing Aaron McKie on a fourth and short to seal the deal.
Dallas Cowboys: they took advantage of two gigantic plays: a 72-yard TD pass from Tony Romo to Terrell Owens, and a 98-yard kickoff return from Felix Jones, both in the first half. While the Eagles moved the ball up and down the field, the Cowboys' defense stiffened up when it mattered. DeMarcus Ware showed why he's an All-Pro, not giving up on the play and sacking Donovan McNabb on the Eagles' final possession. They join the Giants, Panthers, Packers, and Cardinals as 2-0 teams in the NFC.
Washington Redskins: they beat a (battered) New Orleans Saints team many (myself included) predicted to reach the Super Bowl. Jason Campbell picked apart the Saints' defense to the sweet, jazzy tune of 24 of 36 for 321 yards and a late 67-yard bomb to Santana Moss that provided the winning margin.
Oakland Raiders: Darren McFadden broke out in a HUGE way. Subbing for the injured Justin Fargas, McFadden rushed for 164 yards on 21 carries and a TD. He also broke off a 50-yard run. They thoroughly dominated the hapless Chiefs in Arrowhead, rushing for 300 yards as a team.
Honorable Mention: Indianapolis Colts, San Francisco 49ers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers.
THE BAD
St. Louis Rams: this team is GOD-AWFUL bad. They will be LUCKY to win 2 games this season. In fact, they will be competing for the first overall selection in the 2009 draft. They have become the Clippers of the NFL.
Kansas City Chiefs: another awful team, though not as bad as the Rams. Losing at home and getting dominated will get you in this category every single time.
Seattle Seahawks: how could you dominate a team like San Francisco, yet let the game get away from you? And at home, no less? Losing to the 49ers at home gets you in this category every single time.
Cincinnati Bengals: this team is HORRID. No wonder they have Halloween colors; watching this team is a horror show in itself. They will be competing with the Rams for the #1 overall selection in the 2009 draft.
THE UGLY
Pittsburgh at Cleveland: this was a Sunday Night Snoozefest. Missed passes. Dropped balls. A lack of execution by both teams. Granted, it was very windy because of the remnants of Hurricane Ike, but you're pros, you should adapt to the conditions. Either both defenses played stellar, or both offenses were sloppy. I'll bank on the latter. Pittsburgh's defense played better, with Troy Polamalu picking off a Derek Anderson pass to stop a Cleveland drive. Aside from Big Ben's 31-yard TD pass to Hines Ward, he was pedestrian.
Oakland at Kansas City: this was a game between two teams that are biding their time until they set up tee times after Week 17. Another yawnfest.
Ed Hochuli: I have to put him in here because he BLEW three calls, ALL of them shafting the Chargers. He was subsequently graded down by the NFL office.
Those are my nominees for Week 2. Feel free to come in with yours!
New England Patriots: this team will have a stranglehold on this division for the foreseeable future. As long as Tom Brady is under center, the Patriots will be a Super Bowl contender. While I don't think they'll put up epic numbers like they did last year, they'll still put up huge numbers. There are questions on defense, particularly in the secondary. They did sign Deltha O'Neal, and he gives them a veteran presence in the secondary. I think they'll fall off slightly, but they'll still treat this division as their own fiefdom. Predicted record: 13-3, division champions (#2 seed).
New York Jets: Brett Favre has brought an excitement to this franchise that has not been seen in a long time. He has a solid RB behind him in Thomas Jones, above-average WRs in Jerricho Cotchery and Lavernaues Coles. The O-line is improved. The defense has the proper pieces in place. Kris Jenkins should be more than adequate as NT. OLB Calvin Pace should flourish in the 3-4. They could contend for a wild card spot. Not only could they contend, they will get a wild card spot. Predicted record: 10-6 (wild card #6 seed).
Buffalo Bills: Jason Peters' holdout is turning VERY ugly VERY fast. His replacement, Langston Walker, went down with an arm injury, giving Peters leverage in his holdout. Don't be surprised if he sits out the season. The Bills have picked up where they left off: getting injured. If not for this giant distraction (no pun intended), I would consider the Bills as a playoff contender. Peters' holdout will hurt the Bills both now and in the long run. This came at the worst time, when this young team was starting to gell. No playoffs, at least not this year. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Miami Dolphins: the acquisition of Chad Pennington and the reemergence of the Ricky Williams of 2002 has Phin phans optimistic. Certainly they will be a lot better than last year. Pennington will be a good mentor to Chad Henne. Jake Long will be a franchise LT for the next decade or so. The defense is a good mixture of youngsters and veterans. While a break-even record is asking a bit much, they won't be too far behind that. Predicted record: 6-10 (no playoffs).
AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts: I've gotta go with them until Jacksonville (or another division team) beats them out. We know about Peyton Manning. We know about that defense. We know about Adam Vinatieri. Manning won't let them lose the division. Predicted record: 12-4 (division champion, #3 seed).
Jacksonville Jaguars: too bad they weren't in the NFC South; they'd be the #1 or #2 seed. But alas, they have to contend with Indy. David Garrard is a winner, pure and simple. He's won in the postseason. Can the Jags take the next step? It wouldn't surprise me. The defense is stout as usual. Pencil them in for the playoffs. Predicted record: 11-5 (wild card, #5 seed).
Houston Texans: this is the year they climb out of the division cellar. Matt Schaub is healthy, and he's got something to prove. Ahman Green is an old warhorse, but when healthy, is still very productive. Steve Slaton brings an added dimension to the running game. Defensively, they need to develop a better pass rush. That is the one area of the defense that will keep them from making the playoffs. However, they will break even. Predicted record: 8-8 (no playoffs).
Tennessee Titans: this team is an enigma. One moment Vince Young is poised to join the elite, next moment he plays like a raw rookie. I'm not sold on them. While their defense is still solid, questions about on offense. They take a step back this season. Predicted record: 7-9 (no playoffs).
Sports fans, it's that time of week again. Time to call out the object of your ire by throwing them under the Bus. Remember, the object of your ire can be a player, coach, fans, league, commissioner, sports executive, columnist, or even your fellow bloggers. You can call out their stupidity and general all-around dumb@$$ery here.
NFL
Ricardo Colclough, DB, Carolina Panthers: he was arrested for DWI on Saturday, hours before the Panthers were to make their final cuts. This doesn’t help. If you want to have a future in the NFL, you better learn to stay down during the season. In the meantime, you earn a tread-tasting trip under the Bus. UPDATE: Colclough has been released by the Panthers a few hours after his arrest. Ya think?
Derrick Martin, CB, Baltimore Ravens: the NFL suspended him for the season opener against the Cincinnati Bengals. He was cited and charged in July for possession of three small bags of the hippie lettuce at the Cleveland airport during a random TSA screening. What the HELL are you doing transporting small bags of the chronic at an airport? Apparently this genius thought he wasn’t going to be searched. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And for that, Martin gets to taste some tread as he gets thrown under the Bus.
Jesse Chatman, RB, New York Jets: he was suspended for four games for violating the NFL’s steroids and substance abuse policy. While he’s been good in the locker room and in practice, rules are rules. He was out of football in 2006, and came back in 2007 with Miami. He’ll have his roster spot when he returns in Week 5. But for now, Chatman gets thrown under the Bus.
Fred Taylor, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars: he was arrested outside a Miami Beach nightclub early Saturday for disorderly conduct. With the season about to begin, what was he doing at a nightclub? Save that for AFTER the season. And remember, nothing good happens after 2 AM, unless you’re getting lucky and doing the Dirty Sanchez with some hottie. What makes it hard is that he’s been a solid character guy, good in the locker room and in the community. But as painful as it is, I have to throw Taylor under the Bus.
Rocky Bernard and Jordan Babineaux, Seattle Seahawks: these two geniuses were suspended for Seattle's Week 1 game at Buffalo. Bernard for violation of the team's personal conduct policy stemming from his allegedly assaulting his ex-girlfriend. Babineaux was suspended for violation of the league's substance abuse policy. In addition to the $35,000 fine, Babineaux is also docked a game check. These two characters get to taste some tread as they get thrown Under The Bus.
MLB
Pittsburgh Pirates: or more specifically, their official scorer. This guy denied the Milwaukee Brewers' CC Sabathia a no-hitter. Sabathia fielded a slow roller by the Pirates' Andy LaRoche and booted it. Sure error, right? NO, it was ruled an INFIELD SINGLE!! If Sabathia fields it cleanly, LaRoche is out from PNC Park to Fox Chapel (a tony Pittsburgh suburb). It wasn't like it was a ban.g-ban.g play. The Pirates' official scorer gets thrown Under The Bus for denying Sabathia a much sought-after no-hitter.
Los Angeles Dodgers: this team went into the tank before rallying against the Diamondbacks' two best pitchers: Dan Haren and Brandon Webb. Getting swept by the Phillies is one thing; getting swept by the weak-#### Washington Nationals will get you thrown under the Bus every single time.
Youth Baseball League of New Haven, CT: this spineless league banned a 9-year-old pitcher named Jericho Scott because he’s too good. He's good, and it irks you to no end because your self-esteem is threatened. This young kid throws 40 MPH, which is roughly equivalent to a high school senior throwing 90-95 MPH with pinpoint control. Whatever happened to celebrating achievement? League and parents, you broke the spirit of a kid. I don’t know how you can sleep at night knowing you broke the spirit of a 9-year-old boy. You have that attitude of being the experts on all things racial. Could it be possible you banned him because of his *race*? (Jericho Scott is African-American) WELL, YOU'RE NOT. I SPIT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE CONTEMPTIBLE. THEN I THROW THE SPINELESS PARENTS AND THE LEAGUE UNDER THE BUS. Parents, I hope you get what’s coming to you. And I hope Jericho Scott overcomes this obstacle to become a Major League pitcher.
NASCAR
NASCAR: for instituting a six-race probation for both Carl Edwards and Kyle Busch for their little dust-up after the Bristol race. NASCAR is forever stressing they want to return to its roots. Putting Edwards and Busch on probation is just stupid. Are they trying to neuter its drivers? I think so. NASCAR itself gets thrown under the Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!
P.S. The young lady wasn't available this week; perhaps next week.
Perusing the world of sports, one can find many sports figures that vex you, trouble you, or get you so pissed off that you want to SCREAM. You so want to vent your ire. Here is the forum that gives you, the Joe Six-Pack Fan, a forum to vent at the object of your ire by calling them out for their idiocy, or their stupidity, or their arrogance, or whatever else #### you off. You can do this by throwing _______ under the Bus. I have some nominees.
NFL
Matt Jones, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars: this genius was busted for blow in Arkansas. Dude, you're a marginal football player at best. You're BARELY hanging on by a thread on the Jaguars' roster. This isn't going to help, especially when Sheriff Goodell metes out his brand of justice on you. You're going to WISH you had to deal with Sheriff Joe Arpaio instead of Sheriff Goodell. For snorting away your lazy, underachieving career, you get thrown Under The Bus.
Odell Thurman, former Bengals' LB: as if pissing away your football career isn't enough, now you are being sought for an arrest warrant for felonious assault. You STILL don't get it. Perhaps when you're caught by the authorities, justice will be served on you and you'll do a LOT of time in the pokey. DON'T blame _____ for your problems. BE ACCOUNTABLE and accept the consequences for your actions. In the meantime, you get to know up close and personal the tire tracks of the Bus you are to be thrown under.
Travis Henry: as if his babymaking skills weren't enough to give him a headache, now he's facing his biggest headache of all: a possible year long suspension from the NFL for allegedly testing positive for the hippie lettuce. Is jonesing for chronic that much more important than pulling an NFL pay check? Apparently to you, it is. I don't get these imbeciles that have MAD game yet choose to #### it all away for one reason or another. For pissing your career away due to the chronic and all that baby making, you get thrown Under The Bus.
NBA
Los Angeles Clippers: they had a great chance in the offseason to become a legitimate power in the Western Conference. Or at the very least improve themselves. They did neither. They let their franchise player, Elton Brand, go to Philadelphia. They let their second best player, Corey Maggette, flee to Golden State. At least they did sign Baron Davis, but he alone won't be enough. This is why they are the Lakers' JV team and deserve to play at the Sports Arena rather than the Staples Center. Hell, the Lakers' D-league team could probably beat the Clippers. For being the Clippers and being the face of front office ineptitude, the Clippers front office gets thrown Under The Bus.
NASCAR
J.J. Yeley: his #96 team was caught cheating prior to the LifeLock.com 400. Did someone on that team call Bill Belichick for some cheating advice? NASCAR assessed Yeley a drive through penalty at the start of the race. He did recover sufficiently to finish 24th. For being caught cheating, Yeley and his team get thrown Under The Bus.
And now for one off the beaten path:
Celebrities that give their children FUGLY names: you know what I'm talking about. The celebrity idiots that give their children names like Apple, Sunday Rose, etc. Those kids are scarred for life. These celebrities ought to be spayed or neutered for this. Then they should be thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours.
It is that time of the week where you, Joe Six-Pack Fan, can call out those idiots, malcontents, ingrates, and general all around bad guys for their behavior that so #### you off. Looking around the world of sports, there are PLENTY of sports figures that have earned the dubious distinction of being thrown Under The Bus this week. I have some sports personalities.
NASCAR
Juan Pablo Montoya: his tete-a-tete with Kyle Busch earned him a trip to NASCAR's equivalent of the principal's office, aka The Big Red Hauler. (Not to be confused with Big Red, one of JPM's sponsors) I will come correct on putting Kyle Busch in the Ugly category of an earlier blog, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. I will make up for it by throwing JPM Under The Bus.
Tony Stewart's Pit Crew: why on earth did they change two tires when they knew that rain was coming on the horizon? Especially when gas only was working. The crew cost Smoke a possible win. And as a result, Zippy and Company get thrown Under The Bus.
Jamie McMurray: I hate to do this to such a good guy, but I must. It appeared he had plenty of room to go around Dale Earnhardt, Jr. as Junior was entering the pits for his final pit stop. J-Mac plowed into him, tearing up his own vehicle and as he slid to the bottom of the track, he clipped his teammate David Ragan. Ragan lost control and hit the wall, ending HIS day. For being inattentive at an inopportune time, J-Mac goes Under The Bus.
NBA
Shaq: he dissed Kobe Bryant in a freestyle rap at a recent outing at a nightclub in New York City. The Big Chicken#### did this after last week's Who Would You Throw Under The Bus? was posted. Shaq's not escaping. Shaq, where were you when the Finals were being played? WATCHING IT ON TV, like millions of other Americans. Where was Kobe? PLAYING in the Finals. Shaq, grow the hell up. You won a ring without Kobe; give it a rest already. As if Kobe doesn't need any more motivation, this will fuel his fire even more to win a title without you. Shaq, and in the meantime, you get thrown Under The Bus.
Memphis Grizzlies: yes, you got O.J. Mayo. But you paid a pretty steep price to get him. You gave up Kevin Love, Mike Miller, Brian Cardinal, and another player. Meanwhile, the Minnesota Timberwolves improved themselves by getting a fundamentally sound player in Love, a sharpshooter in Miller, and a couple of other serviceable bigs that will add depth to the Wolves' bench. When you allow Kevin McHale to fleece you, it will get you thrown Under The Bus every single time.
NFL
New York Giants: they got rid of the Hefty Lefty, Jared Lorenzen. They got rid of the WRONG QB. They should have got rid of Anthony Wright. For getting rid of the wrong QB, the G-men get thrown Under The Bus.
Houston Texans: it's going to take me a VERY long time to be able to root for this team again. They so screwed up David Carr while he was there he's shot mentally. They NEVER gave him a decent running game and a decent O-line while he was there. They allowed him to be a human pinata. Then AFTER they unceremoniously dump him in favor of Matt Schaub, they FINALLY work on building up a running game and an O-line. If the football gods are listening, the Texans won't win a Super Bowl while Robert McNair owns the team. In the meantime, the Texans get thrown Under The Bus.
MLB
Houston Astros: for allowing the Shawn Chacon/Ed Wade drama to reach new heights. This is one of the most dysfunctional teams in MLB. Drayton McLane needs to sell this team to a local group that WANTS to win. Chacon gets thrown Under The Bus for attacking Wade physically for refusing his orders/requests. Wade gets thrown Under The Bus for escalating the incident. Who's next?
TENNIS
Justin Gimelstob: he called Anna Kournikova a b***h and a #### and said some sexually charged remarks towards her involving his brother. Kournikova, to her credit, is taking the high road. Gimelstob, to his credit, took full responsibility for his remarks and apologized. However, you can't unring that bell. For his egregious lapse in judgment and for putting both feet in his mouth, Gimelstob gets thrown Under The Bus.
Ana Ivanovic: she lost early at Wimbledon. There goes LOTS of guys' reasons to watch Wimbledon in the first place. She's HOT. It wouldn't be so bad if she weren't the #1 seed. But she's the top seed and to lose in the second round IS reason to be thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominees for this week. Feel free to come on in with yours!
Looking around the world of sports, there are many sports personalities and teams that have p****d you, the typical Joe Six-Pack Fan, off. I have some teams and personalities that have so ticked me off I could just scream. Here is the forum for you to sound off and call out those dumb@$$E$, idiots, and general all-around malcontents by throwing them Under The Bus. I have some nominees this week. Who do you want to throw under said Bus?
NFL
Marshawn ####, RB, Buffalo Bills: this genius stayed silent rather than cooperate with Buffalo police on a misdemeanor hit and run charge against him. Who the hell does he think he is? If he had come correct right away, all this would be behind him now. Instead, he subjected several Bills players, employees, and management to be subpoenaed. Now he's subject to being thrown Under The Bus.
Jevon Kearse, DE, Tennessee Titans: you're a 10 year veteran, with your second stint with the Titans. You're supposedly looked up to as one of the team's veteran leaders. And you get popped for DUI? What were you THINKING? Apparently you WEREN'T thinking. Mix in a cab or a limo to take you home. For knowing better and still being a dumb@SS, The Freak gets thrown Under The Bus.
NASCAR
Kevin Harvick: Happy, what on God's green earth were you THINKING late in the race? Why did you drive it into the corner WAY TOO HARD? You had a Top 5 LOCKED and LOADED into the standings, and you were poised to move up a couple of spots. You took out THREE good cars (Tony Stewart, Jamie McMurray, and Ron Fellows) with that boneheaded move. Because of that idiotic move, you ended up finishing 30th. THIRTIETH!!! Now you're out of the Chase by two measly points. You finished 30th on a course where you finish in the top 5 IN YOUR SLEEP. For Happy, this continues a season-long slump. Now because of his bonehead move, Happy gets thrown Under The Bus this week.
MLB
New York Mets: they couldn't have handled Willie Randolph's firing any worse than that. You should have clipped him off during one of your long losing streaks. Instead, you allowed him to travel with the team to Anaheim to face the Angels. THEN you clipped him IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. After the first game of the series. I've got no problem with Randolph being clipped; what should have happened is that he should have got fired BEFORE the Mets went on the road. For their egregious mishandling of the Randolph firing, the Mets get thrown Under The Bus.
NBA
Los Angeles Lakers: losing by 40 to the Boston Celtics was inexcusable. It's okay to lose to the Celtics; they are the better team. But losing by 40 means you QUIT. I am very disappointed and disgusted by the Lakers' lack of effort. I hope the Lakers use this as motivation to win an NBA title next season. But until then, the Lakers get thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours!
It's that time of the week again! It's time to call out those sports figures that have so totally p****d you off you want to SCREAM! (Ashlee Simpson notwithstanding) Well, here is the forum in which you can call out those sports figures by throwing them under the Bus. I have a few nominations, so here goes!
NFL
Detroit Lions: for further pissing off some of their season ticket holders. Apparently someone in the Lions' front office responded this way to a complaint from one of their season ticket holders: "#### 'em." I'm always looking for a reason to throw the L.A. Clippers of the NFL under the Bus. Now I've found one. (NOTE: may have to write a written apology to the Clippers for lumping them in with the Detroit Lions. Clips, I apologize for lumping you in with the #### 'Em Lions aka the Detroit #### 'EM'S.)
Wal-Mart: the reason Wal-Mart is in this category is because they stiffed the Andre Johnson Foundation in two ways. First, they messed up the Texans' WR's order of 750 bikes that HE purchased to give to underprivileged kids. (There were around 675 bikes that ended up being donated as a result at the May 3 event.) And because of that order snafu, they stiffed the kids out of ice and water THEY HAD PROMISED. ICE AND WATER!! Sam Walton must be turning over in his grave. For stiffing the kids and messing up the order, Wal-Mart goes under the Bus.
NBA
Utah Jazz fans: this is for the moronic Jazz fans that chanted "Cancer!" every time Derek Fisher attempted a free throw and allegedly threw debris and trash at the Lakers' bench during Game 6 of their series. And they shouted "Refs SUCK!" when the Jazz were getting whipped. Don't blame the refs for your team's shortcomings. Congratulations, Utah. You surpassed Philly fan as the WORST fans in sports. Great job. Because of the morons that did this, you spoiled it for the rest of the Jazz fans. And because of the morons, Jazz fans get thrown under the Bus. I have ONE WORD for Jazz Fan: SCOREBOARD!
NASCAR
A.J. Allmendinger: for not even apologizing to Elliott Sadler after wrecking Sadler out of the All-Star Challenge, then he had the gall to win it! You'll get your comeuppance. Until then, you get thrown Under The Bus.
Those are my nominees for the week. Feel free to come in with yours.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! They really do the Lord's work. That being said, here's this week's version of "Who Would You Throw Under The Bus?". Time to call out those sports figures that so p****d you off over the past week. And here we go!
NASCAR
Darrell Waltrip: you have to keep in mind he's a shill for Toyota. Yet his constant lovefest with Kyle Busch was downright disgusting and takes away from the broadcast. I like DW; he's entertaining and brings a former driver's perspective to the broadcast. But I have to call them as I see them. Hate to do this, but DW goes under the Bus.
NBA
The Officials: or more specifically, the officials that allowed a Pistons 3-pointer that should have NEVER counted. The clock froze at 4.8 seconds left in the third quarter of Game 2. Any official in the history of the world (except these officials) would have stopped play and awarded the Pistons the ball with 4.8 seconds left. Because the clock froze, the Pistons were given extra time to hit the three. And because of that, the officials get thrown under the Bus.
Los Angeles Lakers: or more specifically, their bench. They were totally outclassed by the Utah Jazz bench today. Going into the series, I'd have rated the two benches even. Did the Clippers hijack the Lakers' bench and play in this game? The Lakers bench gets thrown under the Bus.
MLB
Los Angeles Dodgers: they got swept by the weak-#### Houston Astros. At home, no less. It's one thing to lose to the Mets; they're a good team. No shame in losing to the Mets. Houston is only slightly better than Pittsburgh. And I have to throw Jonathan Broxton under as well. He's the reliever that the Astros took batting practice off of. (Word had it the Astros had a team brawl at the bat rack) He let a stellar outing by Hiroki Kuroda go to total waste. Kuroda no-hit the Astros for 6 2/3 innings. And he has NOTHING to show for it. The Dodgers and Broxton get thrown under the Bus.
NFL
Marvin Harrison: the Colts' WR has carefully cultivated an image of being a quiet, unassuming player that goes out and does his job. That image is being called into question. He was involved in a shooting in a seedy part of Philadelphia at a bar he owns. The gun involved was found in a bucket at a nearby car wash he also owns. Details are sketchy, because no one's talking. Sorry Marvin, gotta throw you under the Bus for being involved with seedy ####.
Cincinnati Bengals: because they have become the league's halfway house for bad seeds, ingrates, and general all around bad guys. And it's a shame for classy players like Carson Palmer and T.J. Houshmanzadeh that they have to be lumped in with their malcontent teammates. The Bengals (except Carson and T.J.) get thrown under the bus.
NCAA
Ryan Perriloux: this guy had the opportunity of his young lifetime to be THE MAN at LSU. Starting QB for a national championship contender. So what does he do? He gets kicked off the team for allegedly failing a drug test. He was allegedly found with chronic in his system. He apparently didn't attend Common Sense 101 in the school of life. Is getting your bong on so important to you that you #### away the opportunity that just about every young man your age would rip his arm off for? For sheer stupidity, you get thrown under a FLEET of buses!
Those are my nominations! Feel free to come in with yours!
Here is my unbiased analysis and prediction for Super Bowl XLII.
NEW YORK GIANTS
How they got there: the Giants finished 10-6 in the regular season, good enough for a wild card spot. In the postseason, they defeated Tampa Bay 24-14 in the Wild Card Playoffs; defeated Dallas 21-17 in the Divisional Playoffs; defeated Green Bay 23-20 in overtime in the NFC Championship Game.
What they must do to win: very simple. They MUST control the clock and rush for over 200 yards as a team. Eli Manning must continue to be sharp, and not turn the ball over. So far he has not committed a turnover in the postseason. On defense, they must put consistent pressure on Tom Brady with their front four. They are capable of putting pressure on Brady with just their front four. And if they aren't able to get to Brady, they must force him to see through a forest of arms ready to bat the ball down. They must win the turnover battle, and force a couple of turnovers at critical junctures. They must make a big play or two on special teams (a turnover, TD return, etc.).
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
How they got there: finished the regular season undefeated; won the AFC East; defeated Jacksonville 31-20 in the AFC Divisional Playoffs; defeated San Diego 21-12 in the AFC Championship Game.
What they must do to win: control the Giants' fierce pass rush with a variety of draws, short passes, and screens. Perhaps leave in an extra TE such as Kyle Brady for pass protection. RB Laurence Maroney could well end up being a key player in this game, as he could have his number called quite frequently. On defense, they must pressure Manning into some mistakes. At the very least, disrupt his timing. They must also slow down the Giants' punishing ground game. S James Sanders could well end up being a key factor in this aspect of the game. On special teams, they must win the field position battle and blunt the Giants' advantage.
Who will win and why: when all is said and done, I'd love to pick the Giants, but I don't see them winning. The Giants will be able to put pressure on Tom Brady, but not on a consistent basis. Laurence Maroney will have a huge game; in fact I'm predicting Maroney to have a game for the ages, setting a Super Bowl record with 210 yards on 28 carries and two TDs. He will wipe the forgettable Timmy Smith off the record books. New England caps a season for the ages with their fourth Super Bowl championship in seven years.
Today's games were far more exciting and had the aura of unpredictability than yesterday's games. With that, I give you an analysis and review of today's games.
San Diego at Indianapolis: I have to come correct on this one in a big-time way. I gave the Bolts little to no chance of winning. I'll have my crow chilled, thank you very much. I predicted Indianapolis 37, San Diego 17. And it sure looked that way when the Colts drove down the field for their first TD.
Breaking free Indianapolis Colts tight end Dallas Clark heads for the end zone on a 25-yard touchdown pass in the first quarter of a divisional playoff game against the San Diego Chargers. (Michael Conroy/Associated Press)
But the Chargers' defense stiffened, and forced Peyton Manning into mistakes, including a pick at the Chargers' 2 that killed a Colts' drive.
Jump for joy Eric Weddle (32) and Shaun Phillips (95) of the San Diego Chargers celebrate after Weddle intercepted a pass in the third quarter against the Indianapolis Colts. (Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
The Chargers have playmakers too, and some of them were guys that no one expected to come up huge. You expected LT to make plays, but due to an injury, he was pretty much a spectator. Vincent Jackson? All he did was catch a huge TD pass from Philip Rivers.
Rising up San Diego Chargers wide receiver Vincent Jackson catches a 14-yard touchdown pass over Indianapolis Colts safety Antoine Bethea. (Michael Conroy/Associated Press)
Darren Sproles? All he did was take a short screen pass 56 yards to the House.
Tide turning Darren Sproles (in air) and Vincent Jackson of the San Diego Chargers celebrate after Sproles scored on 56-yard touchdown reception in the third quarter against the Indianapolis Colts. The Chargers won 28-24 to advance to the AFC Championship game. (Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
Billy Volek? He scored on a 1-yard TD run to put the Chargers ahead to stay. (I also liked the WAC connection when he completed a pass to Naanee, the rookie from Boise State [Volek played his college ball at Fresno State])
Backup plan Injured quarterback Philip Rivers (L) of the San Diego Chargers congratulates Billy Volek after Volek scored touchdown on a 1-yard run in the fourth quarter against the Indianapolis Colts. The Chargers won 28-24. (Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
The Chargers' defense played outstanding after the first Colts' drive. To win without Rivers, Tomlinson, and a hobbled Gates is so huge. Give loads of credit to the role players and reserves that stepped up. Give credit to Norv Turner and his staff for not panicking and staying within their game plan. The Chargers simply answered the playoffs' slogan, Who wants it more? Today, it was the Chargers that wanted it more. Their reward is a date next Sunday against the mighty New England Patriots in Foxborough.
New York Giants at Dallas: the Giants came out smoking. Amani Toomer's 52 yard TD reception from Eli Manning gave the G-men an early 7-0 lead.
Quick start New York Giants wide receiver Amani Toomer beats Dallas Cowboys linebacker Akin Ayodele to the end zone to complete a 52-yard touchdown. (Tony Gutierrez/Associated Press)
The Cowboys responded with two TDs in the second quarter, the first a 5-yard TD pass from Tony Romo to Terrell Owens. The second TD, a Marion Barber 1-yard TD run, capped a 20 play, 90-yard drive that took almost 11 minutes. The Giants quickly responded to the Cowboys' long drive, driving the ball down the field. The drive was capped by Amani Toomer's second TD reception of the game, a 4-yarder with 7 seconds left in the first half.
Twice as nice Wide receiver Amani Toomer of the New York Giants scores on a 4-yard reception against the Dallas Cowboys, his second TD of the game. (Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
The Giants made enough plays to keep the Cowboys off balance, particularly on defense. The defense showed tons of heart and grit, playing without three of its regular DBs. They sacked Romo twice, and hit him on eight other occasions. Brandon Jacobs scored what proved to be the game winner early in the fourth quarter. That TD was set up by a huge punt return by R.W. McQuarters.
Balancing act New York Giants punt returner R.W. McQuarters is pushed out of bounds by Dallas Cowboys linebacker Justin Rogers. (David J. Phillip/Associated Press)
Giant score New York Giants players including Shaun O'Hara (60) celebrate after running back Brandon Jacobs (27) scored the wining touchdown on a 1-yard run against the Dallas Cowboys. The Giants beat the Cowboys 21-17. (Matt Slocum/Associated Press)
All season long, Dallas was able to overcome penalties and mistakes. Today, they didn't. The Cowboys had too many penalties that came at the worst times, one of them negating a huge play. As a result, Dallas will be making tee times tomorrow and New York will prepare to play at Green Bay next Sunday night at Lambeau Field. I will preview the conference championship games later in the week. In the meantime, congratulations to both the New York Giants and San Diego Chargers.
Here is my review of today's NFL Divisional Playoff action.
Seattle at Green Bay: if you're a Seahawks fan, this game couldn't have started any better. Two forced turnovers right off the bat, and 14 points resulting from those turnovers.
Bad start Linebacker Lofa Tatupu of the Seattle Seahawks recovers a fumble by Ryan Grant of the Green Bay Packers on the
