(10) Malcolm Glazer: Manchester United announced a $113.4 million loss for last fiscal year despite revenue of $409 million, largely because of the 14.25 percent interest rate Glazer is paying on $296 million he borrowed in order to buy the team. Owning Man U is a feather in any sportsman’s cap and the club recently was estimated to be worth $1.8 billion, but here’s a thought: If you’ve got the scratch to take a controlling interest of a business this large, shouldn’t you have met someone somewhere along the way who could have fronted the money at a rate that couldn’t be confused for C.C. Sabathia’s ERA?

(9) Ozzie Guillen: The Chicago White Sox manager had his usual busy week with 16 obscenity-filled rants that he regards as witty conversation sandwiched around the dollgate crisis, in which inflatable beauties were called upon as clubhouse décor to snap a slump. (And I always thought that a little extra BP or taking an extra 20 minutes of infield each day was the surer bet . . . ) On top of everything else, the man has this obsession with the Cubs and their fans. Guillen’s contract runs through October 2012, by which time he either will have finally strung together three sentences sans “#$&(,” #@%$!$” and “!@#$%^&%@$!&” or will have been unemployed for about 51 months.

(8) Spygate: Seven months after it started, pro sports’ favorite scandal is winding down with a thud rather than with fireworks. Barring a stunning double-reverse, like Rams Super Bowl walkthough tapes suddenly materializing, Matt Walsh’s meetings Tuesday with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and U.S. Sen. Arlen Specter will reveal less than Disney-approved publicity stills of Miley Cyrus. That means the commissioner had this one handled correctly from the start and 99.99999 percent of the rhetoric after Goodell threw the book at the Patriots back in September was wasted. Just think of all the extra pornography we could have squeezed onto the Internet if we hadn’t wasted all that bandwidth on conspiracy theories and documentation of why Specter might be playing lapdog for Comcast.

(7a) LeBron James: I realize he’s saddled with the worst supporting cast since McLean Stevenson on “Hello, Larry,” but LeBron is culprit No. 1 in the James Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight. His 8-for-42 shooting line (with a staggering 17 turnovers) in the first two games against the Celtics reminds me of the 10-for-55 postseason hole Dave Winfield dug for himself with the Yankees. The Cavs did win Game 3, but James’ 5-for-16 shooting didn’t do much to restore faith that he can carry this team into the NBA Eastern Conference finals.

(7b) Papa John’s Pizza: I preface this by acknowledging that a pile of money ended up being raised for charity, which is always a good thing. But the rogue franchisee who started the 23-cent pizza fiasco by printing “Crybaby” T-shirts to mock LeBron James was out of line. Yes, James is known to complain about calls from time to time, but keep in mind he catches fewer breaks from the officials than Kobe or A.I. while getting knocked around as hard as any baller not named Dwyane Wade.

(6) The NCAA: This one crossed the line between due diligence and overdue diligence roughly about the time Enron en-ran out of schemes to stay afloat. The NCAA has accused Alabama State of 23 rules violations, including using ineligible players, the changing of grades and recruiting improprieties. It adds up “lack of institutional control,” but it comes attached to an asterisk the size of Barry Bonds head (that would be the 2007 model and not 1995, by the way). The NCAA probe, launched after the school self-reported numerous violations five years ago, covers the period from 1999 to 2003, meaning that every athlete who might have done something wrong is already gone. On top of that, none of the coaches mentioned in the report — or the five ADs or interim ADs, for that matter — still work at ‘Bama State. Count on some innocent people getting saddled with the inevitable penalties.

(5) Southern Cal athletic department: Speaking of a lack of institutional control, why doesn’t the NCAA save itself a ton of money on airfare and just open a bureau in Los Angeles. Based on the allegations against football ace Reggie Bush and one-and-done hoopster O.J. Mayo involving gifts being lavished by agents and hangers-on, there would seem to be enough material to sift through to keep a four-man staff busy for . . . oh, I don’t know, maybe five years. And somebody on the outside has to do the policing, because it doesn’t look as though anybody at USC has taken an interest in the job. The first hint of that? How about the sign at the entrance of the USC athletic offices that reads, “We’ve been taking integrity and compliance seriously since 2009.”

(4) Richie Sexson: The Seattle Mariners slugger launched one of the nation’s most dubious attacks since Ronald Reagan played “Pin the Tail on Grenada,” earning himself a six-game suspension for charging the mound against Texas on Thursday night. Sexson took offense after Kason Gabbard came in eye-high with a fourth-inning fastball that was to chin music roughly what the Sex Pistols were to Country & Western. It’s going to be a race to the finish, but Sexson (301 round-trippers) might last long enough to displace Dave Kingman for the title of “Least Impressive 400 Homer Man In History.”

(3) Lower Colorado River Authority: In response to 22 deaths on Lake Travis over the last three years, the LCRA stepped up random safety inspections and made 800 such stops in 2007. The crackdown apparently has extended into 2008, particularly for boaters named Cedric Benson. The Chicago Bears running back has been stopped half a dozen times in about the last year according to a friend, the latest time resulting in an arrest last weekend on a charge of boating while intoxicated. The amount of boat traffic required to generate 22 fatalities in three years must be immense, so 800 random stops in a year — barely two a day — is the proverbial drop in the bucket. If roughly one of every 150 to 200 inspections takes place on Benson’s boat when there are so many other candidates on the water from which to choose, it’s fair to ask if what authorities really meant to charge him with was boating while black.

(2) Marvin Harrison: The (grand) jury is still out on both the Cedric Benson and Marvin Harrison episodes, but there does seem to be evidence linking the Indianapolis Colts wide receiver’s gun to a Philadelphia shooting that resulted in injuries. There will be no judgment here as to whether Harrison was involved and/or whether there was justification. But there is a basis to ask out loud why the man who might be the second or third greatest wideout in pro football history is getting his hands dirty in running gritty businesses like bars and car washes in his old neck of the woods. If you feel an obligation to give back to your community, try opening daycare centers or pay for vocational training programs.

(1) Charlie Weis: You can yap all you want if you’re Ara Parseghian or Dan Devine (not that they ever did). But when you’ve just gone 3-9, it’s smarter to behave like the stiff at an old-fashioned (Fighting?) Irish wake; dress well and keep quiet regardless of how crazy things are around you. So Charlie Weis’ “To hell with Michigan” remark was ill-advised on many levels, not the least of which is he started with a risky premise — that Rich Rodriguez’s squad will arrive in South Bend on Sept. 13 a mess. Let’s be clear: No matter how bad things get in Ann Arbor this fall, Michigan won’t be losing to Appalachian State again (or in the case of 2008, Miami of Ohio). As for the Irish, however, there’s no evidence that they’ll be chalk against Navy, which will also have a new coaching staff. If you’re going to predict the future, coach, be sure you’ve got a shot at being right — perhaps like Mike Hart before the 2007 Michigan-Notre Dame game: "We're going to win next week. There's no question in my mind. I guarantee we will win next week. I'm going to get this team ready. Guaranteed."