Fearful of the unflatering publicity associated with this prestigious award and leery of scathing attacks by G-t-W readers, most of the usual suspects stayed low this week.  Thankfuly, blonde bombshell Scarlett Johansson came through in the clutch with the release of her new CD this past Tuesday, boldly embarking on the illustrious, award winning footsteps of underrated actresses-turned-crooners Jada Pinkett-Smith, Minnie Driver and Jennifer Love Hewitt among others...

So for this grand accomplishment, we make the tone-deaf Scarlett the IBITNPOTW.

We had some good competition this week for the IBITNOTW award with Ashlee Simpson, and the rumors of her pregnancy, in the lead as we turned for home.  And while she fits the irrelevant description to a tee, we could not convince ourselves to bestow the ‘babe’ label.  So we have turned to more pleasing-looking Kelly Pickler, American Idol grad and the big winner of three CMT awards earlier in the week, as our prize-getter…

Like a children’s puzzle, see if you can spot the difference between the two pictures.  And no, I am sure the out-of-nowhere rise in her popularity did not have anything to do with her national television unveiling of her… investments… last year.

In between filming commercials for Pepsi, American Express, DirecTV, Armani and Kibbles ‘n Bits (I think it was her), Beyonce Knowles somehow found time to get married to Jay Z, continuing to give ugly people hope of one day hooking up with a super-hottie as long as they have enough money to live the A-list lifestyle. So before she jets off to become the next spokeswoman for Chick-fil-A or Poulan Weed Eaters (last two companies she has yet to endorse) we'll make Beyonce the IBITNOTW...

For a list of the previous winners, click here.

With Triple Crown mania heading towards a fever pitch, we have altered this week’s award and made it a special Triple Crown of irrelevance, in increasing order of uselessness…

Rumors were abound this week that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had tied the knot, rumors which have since been refuted. So for still giving hope to all single men alive that she is one Brad Pitt face-scarring injury away from being back on the market, we grant the first jewel of irrelavance to our favorite unwed mother…

It was Dolly Parton night on American Idol this week and she surged to the top of the list of Yahoo’s top searches the day after.  Which raises the question… why are the supposed pop stars of tomorrow being judged from a playlist that has been obsolete for over 20 years? While that is being pondered, we award Dolly and her two gems the second jewel of irrelavance…

Finally, we reached the bottom of the list.  Since it can argued that an Oscar winning actress and Grammy winning singer have actually contributed something to society,  we close out with someone truly irrelevant… Porn actress Mary Carey, who this week joined several Philadelphia 76ers at a NY restaurant and proceeded to wrapped her legs around him and made out with him in front of clubgoers, further validating the theory that it is really not that hard to become famouse if you put your mind and breasts to it. Just ask the other M. Carey.  So to Mary, we give the final, and biggest, jewel of irrelanvance…

For the previous winners, check here.

Denise Richards filed papers this week to legally changer her surname from Sheen back to Richards. So for that grand achievement and because of the announcement that she will star in her own reality show on the E! network next summer where, among other things, she will showcase her parenting skills, we name her the IBITNOTW....

No mention if any of those aformentioned skills include lying to and stealing your best friend’s husband or any reference on when she ever went by Denise Sheen in the first place…

For the previous winners, check here.

And don’t forget to check out this week’s Friday Five

Mariah Carey told Allure Magazine this week that she “knows her indisputable talent clashes with her sexed-up image” and that she is aware she is perceived as a “m.oron.” So before we dive into this debate, we feel it prudent to show Exhibit A first…

… and make the self-proclaimed ditz Mariah the IBITNOTW.

For the previous winners, check here.

On Monday Jessica Simpson, among others, played at a concert for the troops in Iraq, thereby blowing off her invitation to G-t-W’s birthday party that very same day… as opposed the rumor that she passed so as not to irk her Dallas Cowboy QB boyfriend by attending a party for a Giants fan.  In any case, this still makes the patriotic Jessica the IBITNOTW:

As I my wife watched the E! channel last night, I overheard how ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ is back for another season, starting this weekend.  So in honor of those news, the IBITNOTW is the show’s star, the sultry Kim Kardashian:

  Here is to another season based on fame brought on by nothing more than good looks, a sex tape and a killer caboose.  Run Reggie, Run.

After a brief absence, O ‘n T Friday is back with a new look and format.  So to kick things off, we go off topic with the Friday Five:

1. NY Mets

Spring training is here and not a minute too soon. And with a potentially dominating front four of Johan Santana, Pedro Martinez, John Maine and Oliver Perez, I am stoked for the season.  And if someway, somehow, the Duaner Sanchez of 2006 returns, then the bullpen could be lights out.  Fingers crossesd starting…. Now.

2. NY Giants

The FA period started today and the Giants are looking at big voids at Safety (both starters gone) and OLB (one starter unsigned, another one coming off injury, and a key backup gone).  I like Michael Johnson stepping in at one safety slot, Kawika Mitchell may be resigned, and Mathias Kiwanuka can only (hopefully) get better, but there is already a lot of work to do in beginning the title defense.

(updated 1:53 pm) - According to the Associated Press, the Bills have agreed to a deal with former Giants linebacker Kawika Mitchell - So if you are an unemployed football player, the Super Bowl Champions have three job openigs.  Please apply inside.

3. Oscars

My wife loves watching the award shows red carpet specials, while I try to just stay awake if I happen to be in the room.  But I have a new found appreciation for the show after Gary Busey’s brain damage / (maybe) chemically fueled crashing of the Ryan Seacrest / Jen Garner interview.  The look of terror on her face (no doubt she had no idea who that was) coupled with Seacrest lamely trying to stick to his fluff script while a psycho was on the loose was the best scene from the night.

4. Mass Effect

It was announced this week that the expansion set for Xbox 360’s Game of the Year comes out on March 10th, which happens to be my birthday.  If any of the G-t-W’s loyal readers are looking for presents, I wouldn’t object to that one.

5. History Channel

With my favorite show 24 not on this season thanks to the #### writer’s strike, and the only reality show I watched, Deadliest Catch, also not on this season, I have been forced to channel surf for something new and found it.  So if you have a couple of spare hours, slide on over to the History Channel on Wednesday’s from 9-11p EST for Monster Quest and UFO Hunters, two documentary-style shows in which they attempt to either validate or disprove various reports on these ‘phenomenons’ all across the globe.

Now staying off topic, we are debuting a new feature: The Irrelevant Babe in the News Pic of the Week.  This week’s highlight is our favorite beach babe, Pam Anderson, who this week stunningly ended her third marriage:

So to all you out of shape rockers and 15-min of fame types, get your shots of penicilin and antibiotics ready, because Pam is a Ms. once more.

Finally, staying on topic, we have the return of the Shot of the Week, which has hit the mark four of the last picks.  This week, we are going with unbeaten El Gato Malo to remain as such in the Sham Stakes. 

This will be a big test for him, as he will be stretching out to 1-1/8 m and going two turns for the first time.  Now his pedigree is built for speed, not stamina (his sire El Corredor won the Gr-I Cigar Mile and his dam and granddam were all sprinters) but his domination has not hinted any distance limitations.  This race should be a good gage on whether his is a true Derby contender or not.