Time again for the Friday Five and your escape from the boring and monotonous... or just an excuse to step away from work for a few minutes.

1. Group Sex

Having talked a bit about Client 9 last week, we return to the topic of disgraced Governor’s with the story that a male ex-aide to former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey claims to have engaged in a 3-ways with him and his wife before McGreevey came to office. 

I know we are G-t-W and not TMZ, but this stuff is priceless in an unintentional comedy sort of way. Wonder what the wife thought when she realized the second guy was for her husband's benefit and not hers...

2. Slowballs

Orlando Hernandez threw an 80-pitch, four inning simulated game down in Mets training camp this week, and exited with all his body parts still intact, no fractured bones, painful hangnails or the onset of a heart attack.  His top fastball was clocked at 81 mph, (seriously) leading one astounded Mets fan to write: “81 mph? I drive faster than that.”

3. Just Win, Baby!

ESPN wrote an article this week in which they said that “By making many expensive moves this offseason, Al Davis has made it clear that he's tired of losing.”  G-t-W finds this ironically comical, seeing as Davis was the main reason for all that losing by the Raiders in the first place. I liked this sequence of events (overpaying for has-been / overrated talent) better when it was called the Washington Redskins.

4. Idol

Amanda Overmeyer was eliminated from American Idol this week, leading the question… How did Beetlejuice get through the audition process?

5. Madenning Madness

And finally, the NCAA hoops tourney kicked off this week, and I truly believe I am the only person in the US that could not care less.  But good luck to all you ‘bracketologists” out there and so as to not spoil the fun for you, here is a pic of the only part of March Madness that I am aware of every year, Kentucky superfan Ashley Judd:

Time again for the Friday Five, where we provide hard-hitting reporting on things that likely only interest me…

1. Moonvertising

Rolling Rock beer announced they will be using lasers to broadcast their logo on the moon, as well as letting visitors to their site jot down comments to be then displayed on specific coordinates.  If this actually a serious attempt, let’s hope the aliens do not confuse their logo with a perceived homage to some all-powerful equine overlord.

2. Mets healing

All (revised) projected opening day starters will take to the field at some point this week. I browsed through Revelations earlier today and did not find that as a sign of the coming apocalypse. But just in case, I would suggest you make peace with God and bring Jesus into your heart.

3. Prostitution

As you all know, NY governor Eliot Spitzer was brought down after being caught in a prostitution sting. 

Which again brings up the question of… how is it that prostitution is still illegal? The thought of the government telling two consenting adults what they can and cannot do with and to each other, including sex in exchange for money, seems ludicrous to me.

4. Giants Girl

This week, G-t-W hands down the NY Giants Fan of The Year Award... which we were going to award to ourselves... to Reby Sky, a.k.a Giants Girl.  Why? You tell me you're not going to vote for her:

(updated 3/15)

(images courtesy of nygiantsgirl.com)

 5. Mortgage Crisis

And to end on a 'serious' note, if you are caught in the current housing market crisis gripping America, and are looking to move to more affordable accomodations... may we recommend the following cozy little number, located in Chattanooga, TN:

It has multiple levels, three bedrooms, two baths and an entrance staircase that retracts with the push of a button, as is currently on sale at eBay.  Highest bid now is $100k.  So if you have that kind of money and have lost your mind... or are visiting from Alpha Centaury, give it some thought.

After a brief absence, O ‘n T Friday is back with a new look and format.  So to kick things off, we go off topic with the Friday Five:

1. NY Mets

Spring training is here and not a minute too soon. And with a potentially dominating front four of Johan Santana, Pedro Martinez, John Maine and Oliver Perez, I am stoked for the season.  And if someway, somehow, the Duaner Sanchez of 2006 returns, then the bullpen could be lights out.  Fingers crossesd starting…. Now.

2. NY Giants

The FA period started today and the Giants are looking at big voids at Safety (both starters gone) and OLB (one starter unsigned, another one coming off injury, and a key backup gone).  I like Michael Johnson stepping in at one safety slot, Kawika Mitchell may be resigned, and Mathias Kiwanuka can only (hopefully) get better, but there is already a lot of work to do in beginning the title defense.

(updated 1:53 pm) - According to the Associated Press, the Bills have agreed to a deal with former Giants linebacker Kawika Mitchell - So if you are an unemployed football player, the Super Bowl Champions have three job openigs.  Please apply inside.

3. Oscars

My wife loves watching the award shows red carpet specials, while I try to just stay awake if I happen to be in the room.  But I have a new found appreciation for the show after Gary Busey’s brain damage / (maybe) chemically fueled crashing of the Ryan Seacrest / Jen Garner interview.  The look of terror on her face (no doubt she had no idea who that was) coupled with Seacrest lamely trying to stick to his fluff script while a psycho was on the loose was the best scene from the night.

4. Mass Effect

It was announced this week that the expansion set for Xbox 360’s Game of the Year comes out on March 10th, which happens to be my birthday.  If any of the G-t-W’s loyal readers are looking for presents, I wouldn’t object to that one.

5. History Channel

With my favorite show 24 not on this season thanks to the #### writer’s strike, and the only reality show I watched, Deadliest Catch, also not on this season, I have been forced to channel surf for something new and found it.  So if you have a couple of spare hours, slide on over to the History Channel on Wednesday’s from 9-11p EST for Monster Quest and UFO Hunters, two documentary-style shows in which they attempt to either validate or disprove various reports on these ‘phenomenons’ all across the globe.

Now staying off topic, we are debuting a new feature: The Irrelevant Babe in the News Pic of the Week.  This week’s highlight is our favorite beach babe, Pam Anderson, who this week stunningly ended her third marriage:

So to all you out of shape rockers and 15-min of fame types, get your shots of penicilin and antibiotics ready, because Pam is a Ms. once more.

Finally, staying on topic, we have the return of the Shot of the Week, which has hit the mark four of the last picks.  This week, we are going with unbeaten El Gato Malo to remain as such in the Sham Stakes. 

This will be a big test for him, as he will be stretching out to 1-1/8 m and going two turns for the first time.  Now his pedigree is built for speed, not stamina (his sire El Corredor won the Gr-I Cigar Mile and his dam and granddam were all sprinters) but his domination has not hinted any distance limitations.  This race should be a good gage on whether his is a true Derby contender or not.

Welcome back to another edition of a end-of-the-week special. Starting off, we have the latest Horses to Watch lists.  As before, updates will be bolded, so let’s get on with the show:

Kentucky Derby Trail  (not be confused with top 3yo)

• Listed – Court Vision, Into Mischief
• Knocking on the door – War Pass, El Gato Malo, Cowboy Cal, Giant Moon, Z Fortune, Crown of Thorns (impressive stakes win around two turns) 

Older Horses (4yo+)

• Listed – Curlin, Chatain
• Knocking on the door – Johnny Eves, Go Between, Spring at Last and A.P. Arrow (one two finishers in G-1 Donn, Spring' impressive in his return, AP' two solid races in a row)

F&M (3yo+)

• Listed – Ginger Punch, Wait a While, Indian Blessing
• Knocking on the door - Zenyatta

• Listed – Champs Elysses, Daytona

• Listed – Midnight Lute, In Summation, Benny the Bull, Dearest Tricksi

Look for the results of this week’s bevy of Derby Prep races and major Handicap Division stakes to shake up the list next week (yes, I copied / pasted)

G-t-W Shot of the Week – Our three-week win streak was snapped last week when Gold Edition finished fourth in Australia's Gr-I Lightning Stakes.  But as pointed to earlier, we will copt out and take a mulligan, as the grey mare injured herself during the race and had to retired. 

But as promised, we will make up with two Shots this week.  First, Shot A is Tough Tiz's Sis in the Gr-I Santa Maria Handicap.  She's lost a couple of tough ones, but she is the class of the field and should be back in the winner's circle.

Shot B will be the front running Daytona in the Gr-III Fair Grounds Handicap. He will be facing a tough field, but he is on a roll having won three stakes in a row.  Look for him to come through again.

As for Off Topic...

Pedro Martinez - Petey, I don't care if you were invited, if its your culture and if you just hung around doing nothing. By being thre you are condoniming the inhumane and disgraceful practice of c.ockfighting.  I am from PR, and c.ockfighting is legal and part of its culture too, and it does not change my opinion of it.  Shame on you.  And shame on the Mets for their #### statement about it.  I still will follow catch the games as intensly as ever, but that will not lessen my disappointment.

Giants (last post on them until Draft time)- Corey Webster, I take back all the times I said that I wished you were never on the roster. And I take issue with whomever does not agree his shutting down Galloway, TO, Driver and Moss four weeks straight was not one of the greatest one-month periods of DB coverage EVER.  And Plaxico Burress, I will never call you Plexiglass again. Playing all year with an ankle injury so bad that he was never able to practice, then delivering all year, plus turning Al Harris into his #### in the NFC Championship and delivering the game winning SB catch gets you a pass for the rest of your career.

The old adege a picture is worth a thousand words could not apply more...

I'd gloat, but there is no need.

Welcome back and glad to see you’ve almost made it through another week.  As we mentioned last week, the first half of this column will continue to focus on our recently formed Horses to Watch lists.  We have some up and some down, and some staying put.  Updates will be bolded, so let’s get on with the show:

Kentucky Derby Trail  (not be confused with top 3yo)

• Listed – Court Vision, Into Mischief
• Knocking on the door – War Pass, El Gato Malo, Cowboy Cal, Giant Moon, Z Fortune 
• Out – Everyone but War Pass (for now) that ran in the BC Juvenile

Older Horses (4yo+)

• Listed – Curlin, Chatain
• Knocking on the door – Johnny Eves, Go Between (needs to prove his SM Classic was no fluke, but he did set a new track record.)

F&M (3yo+)

• Listed – Ginger Punch, Wait a While, Indian Blessing
• Knocking on the door - Zenyatta (undefeated, beat two G-1 winners last out in first graded stakes try)
• Out – Nashoba’s Key (Lost two in a row, needs to get back on track)

• Listed – Champs Elysses, Daytona (forgot him last week, has won three stakes in a row, two GR-II and one Gr-I)

• Listed – Midnight Lute, In Summation, Benny the Bull (showing top form in winning back to back stakes), Dearest Tricksi (has now won 8 of 9, and set the track on first in the F&M Sprint)

Look for the results of this week’s bevy of Derby Prep races and major Handicap Division stakes to shake up the list next week

G-t-W Shot of the Week – After hitting the mark three weeks in a row (with four picks nonetheless), we at G-t-W are feeling confident in our handicapping abilitiesagain .  This week, we will change things up a bit and focus our attention overseas.  Specifically Australia, where we will pick the mare Gold Edition to come home ahead of the males in the Gr-I Lightning Stakes

But to stay true to the column title, let’s get Off Topic and take a few minutes to read this story: Senator Arlen Specter, the ranking Republican member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, will eventually call NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in front of the committee to address the destruction of evidence related to spying by the New England Patriots.  Now as you know, I don’t care about the Pats one bit, but if there currently is a bigger waste of tax payers money than having Senators looking into this, I can’t think of it.  Hey Specter, if you want to get on the new, just proposition an undercover policeman in an airport bathroom and call it a day

Now continuing off topic:

Super Bowl – NYG 27, NE 24… Believe it! The Giants have been the NFL’s best team in January and that is who wins the Super Bowl

Super Bowl, part 2 - NE backup QB Matt Cassell played in the Little League World Series final, won two BCS titles at USC while backing up Matt Leinart and doing nothing, now he's part of the undefeated and heavy Super Bowl favorites while backing up Tom Brady... and doing.  I think Matt is a guy we want to bring to the track for luck, as long as he just sits there and does nothing.

Santana / Mets – Less than eight hours to go until the signing deadline.  If the deal does not get done, no need to plan a demolition of Shea Stadium prior to opening Citi Field.  The current crop of Mets fans will have that finished by tomorrow afternoon

Finally, as always, the Denise Milani Pic of the Week.  No need to say anything else.

(image courtesy of denisemilani.com)

This midweek ‘relief’ piece has featured a number of things in the past, starting off with some equine humor, to providing a comprehensive, if scantily-clad, public service announcement mini-series and most recently, some build up the that football game on Sunday. Now the word Relief has various possible uses, but the most common can be defined as: The easing of a burden or distress or Something that alleviates pain or distress or even A pleasant or amusing change. 

This week, G-t-W will simply stick to the facts and the plain and clear definition listed above, as events yesterday accomplished those three things, at least for me.  Selfish, absolutely.  So without further preample, I present the following piece of art.

(courtesy of Matt Cerone from Metsblog.com)

In closing though, this column was founded on the principle of presenting fair and balanced reporting, by providing a place to feature the stupid and immature.  And to some, the above qualifies.   But I’m more into making fun of others and what they like, so instead I turn the focus to the “upcoming” book put forth by the Boston Globe and, as of yesterday, on pre-sale at amazon.com: 19-0: The Historic Championship Season of New England's Unbeatable Patriots.  Yes the link, which worked yesterday, does not work anymore.  But if you checked yesterday, you could have pre-ordered the collector’s item above for (and I quote) the “bargain price of $14.95.”  I’m imaging perhaps a little negative feedback might have caused the link to be disabled by Amazon, but too little to late.  If there is such a thing as jinxes, and that is something Boston fans claim to be true, it will rear its ugly head on Sunday...

Today it will be mostly on topic, as today’s list is a list of lists (what better list could there be) formalizing our recently formed Horses to Watch list.  As the season progress, the add and drops will continue to be provided once a week.  So on we go with:

Kentucky Derby Trail  (not be confused with top 3yo)

• Listed – Court Vision, Into Mischief
• Knocking on the door – War Pass (won’t win Derby, but as 2yo champ he will be in our thoughts), El Gato Malo (want to see him longer), Cowboy Cal (needs to show dirt form), Giant Moon (needs to race open competition).
• Out – Everyone but War Pass that ran in the BC Juvenile.

Older Horses (4yo+)

• Listed – Curlin, Chatain
• Knocking on the door – Johnny Eves (new G-I winner, strong follow up)

F&M (3yo+)  

• Listed – Wait a While, Indian Blessing, Ginger Punch
• Knocking on the door – Nashoba’s Key (yeah, she’s a turf runner, but we’ll put her in anyway) 

Turf Male

• Listed – Champs Elysses

Sprint

• Listed – Midnight Lute, In Summation
• Knocking on the door - Benny the Bull

This weekend’s Sunshine Millions will do a lot to further shape our lists, so check back next Friday.

Closing out our On Topic comments, we cannot forget the critically acclaimed G-t-W Shot of the Week, riding back-to-back week successes.  Following the previously stated selection rules, therefore removing Ginger Punch and Nashoba’s Key in the US and Sacred Kingdom in HK from consideration, leaves a bunch of not-so-clear-cut choices.  But we will roll the dice and go with Dearest Tricksi to continue her recent streak of success in the Sunshine Millions F&M Sprint

But to stay slightly Off Topic, I need to mention how today’s Boston Herald banner headline reads: Pats fans are smarter, classier, healthier than those in NY.  I wonder if they were thinking of these classy Rhodes scholars when the article was drafterd.

Finally, we close out Friday with our favorite section, the Denise Milani Pic of the Week.  And since we skipped it last week, here is a two-pack for your viewing pleasure.  Although a four-pack is more representative…

(images courtesy of denisemilani.com)

Have a good weekend and enjoy the races.

Building up to the Feb 3 slaying of the evil empire, more commonly known as the New England Patriots,  by the latest incarnation of the 300, commonly known as the New York Giants, the next two ‘Relief colums will focus on some of the unsung heroes that will make this daunting task possible:

Ahmad Bradshaw

Another problematic Marshall alumni (along with the ‘other’ 81) that slid in the draft, he’s been running like he’s late for a job interview and forgetting 7th round rookies are not supposed to become key focals of an offense.  He just needs to keep that way of thinking for one more game.

Aaron Ross

Having taken notice at the fate of other Giants first round picks out of southern / midwest schools (where have you gone Jarrod Bunch, Thomas Lewis, Derrick Brown and Cedric Jones), Ross will look to break the jinx of the first rounder by looking to break Wes Welker the first time he is thrown to.

Corey Webster

From waiting for the season to be over so he can be finally cut, to shutdown corner picking off anything is his vicinity in the span of 3 weeks, the apparently now-former second round bust is ready to help Randy Moss continue his ongoing playoff disappearing act.  Just a word of caution though.. if you see him going deep, COVER HIM THIS TIME!

Domenik Hixon

Tired of being told “I thought Dominik Hasek was a white hockey player from the Czech Republic” after introducing himself, will continue to lobby to being called the Dominator of special teams by running another one back against the Pats.

Tom Brady

No, he’s not unsung… But he was the 2007 regular season leader in passing yardage.  And winning the Super Bowl is something the previous 41 owners of that distinction have not done. Yeah, it’s a stretch but when you have such a mountain to climb, you’ll take any edge you can.

A few more things from over the weekend...

• The Giants are going to the Super Bowl!  I still can't believe it! 

• Prognosticating - The streak continues as Shot of the Week Champs Elysses came home a winner, and both the Pats and Giants won. ..  Confidence abounds...
• No major 3yo or Handicap division races this past week, so we'll focus on the turf.  Now I have not yet put together a Turf Horses to Watch list, but if I did, Champs Elysses would be on it.  Previously an underachiever, his dominating win on Saturday points to bigthings for him in '08
• Congrats to the owners of Curlin on being named Horse of the Year.  As they pour through a lot of Kendall Jackson, may they agree to bring him back in 2008