As I my wife watched the E! channel last night, I overheard how ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ is back for another season, starting this weekend.  So in honor of those news, the IBITNOTW is the show’s star, the sultry Kim Kardashian:

  Here is to another season based on fame brought on by nothing more than good looks, a sex tape and a killer caboose.  Run Reggie, Run.

As noted above, this version of the midweek column has been temporarily re-titled as we present the second phase of our continued public service announcement, which began last week after the sobering (no pun intended) release of Tony Larussa’s DUI arrest and subsquent butchering of the alphabet  during his field sobriety test. We will also throw out three quick hitters on recent happenings around the world of sports…

So now, we give you verse # 2.  Enjoy responsibly…

H as in Hayek, Salma

I as in Ireland, Kathy

J as in Johanssen, Scarlett

K as in Kardashian, Kim

L as in Longoria, Eva

M as in Milani, Denise

N as in Nolin, Geena Lee

O as Ostrosky, Beth

P as in Price, Katie

Now if you can take 5 minutes and temporarily put those cliff notes aside, here are some parting thoughts…

• Bobby Petrino – Resigns from Falcons after a baker’s dozen to take job at Arkansas. Hey Razorbacks, I hope you did not discard the template you used to create the want ad that he responded too.  When the guy you hired is now in his 14th job in 15 years, you likely will be needing it soon.  For starters, I’d prime it again right after McFadden declares for the draft.  Maybe you can get Nick Saban after.  Even if he said he was committed to the Tige… I mean Dolphi… no, the ‘Tide.
• Les Miles – States for the 314th without being asked that he is not a candidate for the Michigan job and that he will coach LSU next year.  So the way thing are, he is a former Michican student, football player and assistant coach, and he met his wife there… And he is one of the most overrated coaches in the NCAA, now being linked to one of the glamour positions available… Me thinks he doth protests to much… On the other hand, I guess the BCS Championship is next year so maybe he is on the level
• Paul LoDuca – Forever renamed to LaVoca (the mouth) at G-t-W, signs free agent deal with Washington Nationals, cites as one of the reasons 'getting to play the Mets 18 times'.  So LaVoca, if I read between the lines correctly, you’re still sore the Mets chose not to re-sign  a soon-to-be 36 year old catcher coming off his lowest BA and OBP in any season he’s played over a 100 games, not to mention his lowest slugging percentage in 4 years and fewest games played in 7… right?  Sure, I see your beef.  Just checking.

Being in such a good mood due to the ongoing four-day, holiday weekend, this week’s Top 5 list will be a light-hearted one.  So we will stea… leverage from our favorite FoxSports blog, $8 Beers where they are running the critically acclaimed Hot 16 tourney, and put together the perfect female body, using a field of celebrities as inspiration.  As for what is meant by ‘celebrity’, we will expand Webster’s definition a bit so as to include not only the garden variety Hollywood type, but also anyone heavily downloaded by our demographic, the all important superficial males age 19-to-35 category. So with that agreed to, on with the List from a toes-to-head angle:

Legs – Stacey Kiebler

A no-brainer, as the mere sight of them makes the average male be willing to get in the ring and risk spinal injury and brain concussions on the off-chance of being smothered to death by the crushing application of leg scissors to the head.

Posterior – Kim Kardashian

Another no-brainer.  If Helen of Troy was “the face that launched a thousand ships”, Kim’s caboose is one that would accomplish the same feat.  Not to mention that it would have made for a far roomier Trojan Horse.

Stomach – Kate Hudson