Roger Clemens’ recent scientific discussion on HGH, steroids, drastic physical changes and ears growing from foreheads made me think of one of my recent favorite, yet underrated moments in Mets history, which also involved human growth and physical changes. I am talking of course of the 2006 signing of Jose Lima. What is the correlation you say? Well, for four glorious starts, it brought Mets fan the opportunity to gaze upon Mrs. Lima, Melissa…
So the homework for this week to all four readers or anyone that attended any Dodgers, Royals or Mets game, or happened to be in the Dominican at the same time as Jose, bring forth your digital evidence for a status report on our favorite baseball wife.
This week we also bring the final verse in our public service announcement (verse 1, verse 2, verse 3) of making the english alphabet easy to remember for all, whether you are taking a field sobriety test or not…
Being in such a good mood due to the ongoing four-day, holiday weekend, this week’s Top 5 list will be a light-hearted one. So we will stea… leverage from our favorite FoxSports blog, $8 Beers where they are running the critically acclaimed Hot 16 tourney, and put together the perfect female body, using a field of celebrities as inspiration. As for what is meant by ‘celebrity’, we will expand Webster’s definition a bit so as to include not only the garden variety Hollywood type, but also anyone heavily downloaded by our demographic, the all important superficial males age 19-to-35 category. So with that agreed to, on with the List from a toes-to-head angle:
Legs – Stacey Kiebler
A no-brainer, as the mere sight of them makes the average male be willing to get in the ring and risk spinal injury and brain concussions on the off-chance of being smothered to death by the crushing application of leg scissors to the head.
Posterior – Kim Kardashian
Another no-brainer. If Helen of Troy was “the face that launched a thousand ships”, Kim’s caboose is one that would accomplish the same feat. Not to mention that it would have made for a far roomier Trojan Horse.
Stomach – Kate Hudson
Anyone can plainly see that the righteousness of Kate’s abs cannot be denied… even if she also happens to be in possession of the chest of a pre-teen boy.
Chest – Denise Milani
Ben Franklin said that “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” We at G-t-W propose Denise to be the same, as the natural development of such an amazing sight could only have been accomplished by the power of The Lord.
Face – Catherine Zeta Jones
From the time we saw her in “Mask of Zorro”, to the amazing flexibility she showed in “Entrapement”, to the moments we dry heave when we think of her being with Michael Douglas, CZJ’s visage is truly the standard bearer’s for Hollywood.
So there you have it. Feel free to leave your thoughts and opinion, which, if descenting, will be properly ignored…
I am a FOX Sports Blogger who hasn't yet written much of a bio yet. But as you can tell, I'm a horse racing aficionado... who also happens to love the Mets and NY Giants (not from NY, but thanks for asking)
