OK, off-season isn’t over yet. I know. There are a couple of impact players still floating in the ether of free agency. Players are still thinking about sitting out. Or joining in. Or joining in to talk about sitting out.
Like any good boss, Godell is in the process of following up on all arrest warrants (yes, I meant for that to sound confusing), and certain team coaches are still getting asked for their ID at the training facility (Security guard: “I don’t see you on the list. Could you spell Whisenhunt, please?”), and Jake Plummer has retired. Sort of. Without paperwork. Kind of. Basically, a lot can still happen.
But as folks start to plant their flags on the best and worst off-season moves, I would like to quickly review the most interesting points for me so far this year... in a format I shall dub...
“The Jmac Smac-ies”
The first Smac-ie goes to the NFL player acquisition most overshadowed by some other guy:
The nominees are:
Oakland Raiders: Josh McCown – Overshadowed by the drafting of JaMarcus Russell
Tennessee Titans: Nick Harper – Overshadowed by Adam “Pacman” Jones suspension and appeal
San Francisco: Darrell Jackson – Overshadowed by New England’s acquisition of Randy Moss
New England: Adalius Thomas - Overshadowed by acquisition of Randy Moss
New England: Donte’ Stallworth - Overshadowed by acquisition of Randy Moss
And the Smac-ie goes to... eh. We’ll give it to Jackson. San Fran traded Seattle for Jackson in the same round New England got Moss. Some how, no one thought this was a very big deal, but when you consider the 9ers were about to have Ashley Leile and Arnez Battle fighting it out for the top spot, you realize what a gain Jackson is. The important thing is, I’m sick of hearing about Randy Moss.
The next Smac-ie is to honor the team with showing the most moxie:
The nominees are:
Arizona Cardinals: New coach wants to run the ball in the barren desert, and may have made enough moves to pull it off.
Buffalo Bills: In an attempt to build an offensive line, they trade off every star caliber player... and it’s just crazy enough to work...
Cleveland Browns: A coach ropes in a pair of young talents to lead a rag tag crew on what may be his last stand
Houston Texans: After acquiring a new QB and RB through free agency, the team opts to draft defense... again.
Oakland Raiders: “Yeah, we’ll rebuild our team. And take a coach younger than half the roster! Cause I’m Al Davis, and I said so!”
And the Smac-ie goes to... Arizona. I mean... Arizona is where good RBs go to die. But Whisenhunt seems serious about this... and taking Levi Brown at 5? Really? Cut ties with the past. There’s a new Sherriff in town!
A special mid-show tribute to how much I love my Broncos:
Dear Pat Bowlen,
Thank you for the wonderful off-season. Thank you for sitting atop the organization that brought in so much talent to an already wonderful team. Thank you for signing the checks for guys like Jay Cutler, Travis Henry, Javon Walker, Rod Smith, Champ Bailey, Dre' Bly, John ####, Elvis Dumervil, Kenard Lang, and well, thank you for everything.
Thank you most of all for resigning Mike Shanahan in a timely fashion. Some teams aren't that smart.
I know it's not right to ask anything of a man who's already been responsible for so much, but, I have 2 requests.
#1. Could we please beat the Colts and Patriots in the playoffs this year. I don't like everyone having to be on their bandwagon when ours is so much cooler.
#2. If it isn't too much trouble, could you, you know, never wear that fur coat on the sidelines again? Judging from this whole Mike Vick thing, PETA has a bigger eye on the NFL than usual.
OK. Thanks.
-Jason
One team, one dream, forever and ever... Elway.
And now, the Smac-ie for the team demonstrating the least foresight: Miami: For thinking Ted Ginn Jr. was the way to go Atlanta: For trading Matt Schaub away Chicago: Putting a franchise tag on Lance Briggs Kansas City: For announcing Croyle would probably start next year Tampa Bay: For having two starting quaterbacks, and pulling in two more. One of which may be retired San Diego: For blowing up their coaching staff.
This was a toughy, so, I had to figure out who responded the best. Miami could still pan out. Kansas City’s oversight in not making Green a true “prize”, and Miami’s obvious need of Green could cancel each other out. Tampa may need all four guys, since 3 (Simms, Garcia, Plummer) have a high likelihood of not lasting all season. San Diego put together a pretty fierce staff, and still have a very good team (though if they bomb, you can’t blame proven players or new coaches). Atlanta pulled in... Joey Harrington... and if Mike Vick goes to jail, well, Joey won some games for Miami last year, and may still be looking for the right chance to shine. I would have to say then that Chicago’s choice to slap a franchise tag on a young, healthy guy with tons of talent who could contribute for years to come was the dumbest move of all. He just wanted a contract of length. Now, he won’t play, and Chicago’s response of “Yeah he will” just doesn’t cut it. This wouldn’t be such a problem if the Bear’s management didn’t sit so long on the idea of resigning Lovie Smith to a contract extension. Just poor choices made by a group who made the Super Bowl last year. Add to that the Bears had several opportunities to get some value for the guy, and with the franchise tag, he is guaranteed the average of the top 5 salaries at his position. Too much for nothing in return. No foresight whatsoever.
And finally, the Smac-ie for the dumbest off-season move:
The nominees are:
Chicago Bears: Not resigning Lance Briggs
Green Bay Packers: Not granting Brett Favre’s wishes
Miami Dolphins: Worst draft in recent memory
Pacman Jones: Suspend me? I know people who could ki... uh... forget I said that.
Kansas City Chiefs: O-Line? We don’t need no O-line! We have Larry Johnson and Brodie Croyle!
Detroit Lions: WE NEED MORE RECIEVERS!!! YYYEEEESSSSSSS!!!
Ricky Williams: Up in smoke.
And the winner is:
It’s a close one!
Ricky Williams and Pacman as individuals have made enough dumb choices to outweigh any organizational moves. But here’s the thing... does anyone really know what happened with Pac? I don’t. I know he has responded like an ####, but I still have a very sketchy picture of... well... pretty much every charge against him. But Ricky... that one’s just easy. I mean, “Say no to drugs”. Not hard. Nancy Regan got it. Why can’t he? And he was soooooo close. That’s just dumb. In one hand, my future. Riches, stardom, you name it. In the other... weed. And anyone can get weed. Just a waste. His reactions have left something to be desired too, and now it seems official he will not ever be welcomed back in Miami. Just plain dumb.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, were the 2007 off-season Smac-ies, brought to you by JMac. Remember, if it says JMac, it means quality.
Please, clean up after yourselves on you way out, and don’t forget if you checked you coat on the way in. I will rifle your pockets if they are left.
