The offseason... sigh... is there anything worse? Not for football fans. We wait. We debate. We attend draft day parties, track signings on line... some of us try to show up to training camp just to get a little fix.
And let's face it, it's not as if the offseason diminishes the celebrity of any footballer. You can pick out Tom Brady at fifty yards. Keith Traylor and Junior Seau are the most popular guys in their retirement communities, while Matt Leinart and Vince Young are the most popular at the local college keg party... and Brett... oh Brett.
But the problem with the offseason is that while a true fan still wants to be in touch with the league, the idea of it all gets muddled. When is it no longer football we are following?
For such cases, I ask myself H.D.T.A.M.F.L., or... "How Does This Affect My Fantasy League?" It's a great filter to keep in mind as cruising headlines in the offseason, and a very large reason that I believe EVERY person who writes about football should partake in it's fantasy outlet. This way, we can focus on ACTUAL football stories, and move away from the fluff and business that really shouldn't clog my brain EVER. Signings and team cuts are obvious, but others need a bit of perspective. Here are a few examples...
Terrell Owens say Jessica Simpson can come watch Tony play. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - It doesn't. Jessica is not Tony's downfall. Panic attacks are. This is not a football story.
Brandon Marshall is attacked by brother/McDonalds bag. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - Tons, though only due to the resulting injury. The story itself... doesn't mean #### to me. He could have been attacked by the Burger KIng "King", and I don't care. Just as long as he can wrap his fingers around a football.
Javon Walker is beaten up by thugs, relives events in a flashback that closely resembles a season of "24". H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - Doesn't affect anything. If you were planning on drafting him, you have deeper trouble.
Tom Brady dates model. They go places and look better than everyone. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - I've thought long and hard about it, in hopes to make SOMETHING in this count, but it doesn't. He's simply a very hatable man.
Marshawn #### plays bumper tag with woman on city street. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - Deeply. The commishiner could suspend him forever. And there is that whole "jail" thing.
Eli Manning attends charity ball. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - It won't. Ever. Unless he gets stabbed in the leg with a serving fork. This is not a football article. Turn in your field pass.
Peyton Manning shoots 12 new commercials. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - Massive impact. If I draft him, I now am forced to think about him more than food or women I would like to sleep with. Life takes a very dark twist.
Brett Favre. H.D.T.A.M.F.L. - Haha! This is tricky. You would think massive impact, depending on where he ends up, if he ends up playing, etc. etc. BUT NO! He's on the Madden Cover. Untouchable. Proceed as normal.
So... I hope this gives some perspective to what should really constitute a sports story, and how I hope we can move away from the celebrity expose that we seem to be giving NFL footballers. Let's face it, in the end, we want them to play games and win. We want the to smash other guys in the mouth and make it more exciting to pass through a Sunday. Let's get down to brass tacks, and let Fantasy Football lead the way.
The new season is on it's way!
P.S. You may be asking yourself... H.D.T.A.M.F.L. If so, excellent job. You were paying attention. This blog affects your fantasy league deeply. In fact, it should have changed the way you approach life. If not, meditate upon it, come back to me later.
It doesn't seem that long ago that the AFC West was considered to be the toughest division in football. The four teams, year in and year out, were likely to compete not only for their own division, but to rob other divisions of wildcard spots. Then, as was meant to be, the wind shifted. Just as the Chargers finally rose to the top, the world seemed to go topsy-turvy. It was suddenly all about gloating who was going to get the highest draft spot.
But as a Broncos fan, I want all teams to rise again, to become feared amongst other divisions, and to fulfill an ache for true rivalries that matter. What follows is what I see in the West now, and the biggest reason we need a rivalry to begin anew now.
San Diego Chargers - Without a doubt, they are the toast of the division at the moment, but... sadly, that's about as far as it goes. The talent has been there for years, and unlike many other teams, has maintained a large sense of consistency. There is no doubt that they should be capable to win a Superbowl... or multiple playoff games. Perhaps a second year with the coaching staff will put them over the top, but... I can't be sure. Chris Chambers being more ingrained in the offense will help too. They should be good again this year. Reason for a rivalry: If you're not a Chargers fan, you likely hate Philip Rivers. He doesn't have the talent level of Tomlinson or Merrimen, but he makes up for it in unjustified sense of smack talking. I know several defensive players have put a large target on him.
Denver Broncos - Denver fans have been fortunate to have a very competitive team for many years. Even in some of the worst years the team has had recently, they still put together the second best record in the division. That being said, the true level ability seems in question. For every postive aspect of the team (Champ Bailey is the best corner in the game, Brandon Marshall is an unforeseen talent, The Denver run system) there is a negetive (Dre' Bly won't tackle and gets burned, Brandon Marshall wrestle with unforeseen objects, The line is as hard to get around as the boarder fence). While very strong acquisitions have been made in the off-season, addressing weaknesses on defense, O-line and special team, it remains to be seen whether the Broncs will treat Denver to another playoff trip, or whether we're rebuilding more than we thought. I'm hoping for the best, but... there is no promise. Reason for a rivalry: Mike Shanahan. Like other coaches marked as "genius", if you're not a fan of the team, you want him to fail. Even the winning of two super bowl rings doesn't decrease this emotion, but rather pushes it further. The current theory is that Shanny won't win without Elway, and Elway couldn't have won without T.D. Every rival armchair quarterback loves to ask the question "who's a genius now?"
Kansas City Chiefs - KC has come upon hard times. Once the offensive line started showing their age, this often underrated but often competitive team started losing the ability to compete. This off-season, the coaching staff made the wise choice of calling this time what it was, and truly establishing a rebuilding process. The difficult choice to trade away top talent Jared Allen resulted in one of the mightest drafts of recent memory. The bold choice not to push competition on QB Croyle was also ingenious. Now, given time and consistency, the team is a few years out from having a truly scary team that will last years. But, don't expect a miracle this year. Reason for a rivalry: Right now, it's Arrowhead. In a division that boasts both Mile High Stadium and the Black Hole, Arrowhead stadium has become the most difficult place to come to. As the talent on the team matures, I'm sure it will become a reasoning that follows the team on the road.
Oakland Raiders - Javon Walker. DeAngelo Hall. DMF. While major off-season gains for the team, it's left most of the league scatching their heads while the Raider-nation is loving it. To me, it looks like a series of moves I made when playing Madden Football's "Franchise" mode years ago. A lot of measureables, but not a lot of team. The plan may work. Or you might have found the fastest, strongest headcases, and locked them in a room, expecting to them to be victorious. I can't really say. But I don't have a good feeling about it. Reason for a rivalry: Al Davis is pretty much the agreed embodiment of darkness in the NFL. The question is, do you follow that darkness, or not? Even some Raider's fans I've spoken with have wondered if the team will hit stride before he kicks the bucket. To his credit, he doesn't care what anyone thinks. He's as nuts as he wants to be, and that scariness is a reason to want them to be competitive. Every hero needs a villian... and it helps if the villian is completely cool with that casting.
Here's to hoping for top teams across the board (with the Broncs coming out on top, of course).
I am not one to believe I am wrong too often. Honestly, I’m pretty self-righteous, so when I begin prognosticating, I’m putting a bit on the line… and the following teams, players, and twists of fate have already ruined it for me…
1) The Patriots. OK, they can be shady. I’m not surprised. I don’t think it’s an uncommon issue in the NFL, and I don’t like it. I also question their treatment of the team itself… I’ve always said Belichick creeped me out. But I also said that I questioned the Pats ability to gel as a team and play as well as they seemed able on paper. I was wrong. Beating the Jets was one thing, but the way they shut down and burned up the Chargers was another. I hate them, but they are a team to beat.
2) The Saints. Granted, it’s only week 2, and it is not the time to declare anyone dead in the water, but I now question my own sanity in picking them to go all the way to the Super Bowl and… win. It’s not that I don’t consider them still capable, it’s just I’m horribly dismayed by the terrible play of an “improved” defense, and the short, conservative approach taken earlier in the game. That’s not what propelled them so far last year. If they don’t start picking it up and playing like a team on a mission, they will leave many people looking stupid.
3) The Falcons. This might have been more wishful thinking, but I really wanted Joey to do well. I really wanted the Falcons to do well. I really thought they might actually do… OK. Now, not only will they make me look silly for picking them to do well, but also because I picked Tennessee and Minnesota to be the worst…
4) Steven Jackson: During my fantasy drafts, Jackson was listed as my #2 selection. He looks lost and vulnerable out there, and with Pace out, I’m suddenly relieved that of my many FF leagues, I never got to draft second.
5) The NFC. I still don’t believe the NFC on the whole is on par with the AFC. It’s just, within the NFC, my rankings were all upside-down, it seems. Darn them.
But there is a silver lining, folks. I’m not wrong all the time. Here’s why…
1) Carson Palmer. I said he would come back to full strength, and the offense would take off in Cincinnati again. I was right. I just didn’t foresee the defense being “give up 51 points to the Browns” bad.
2) The Panthers. I said with a healthy Steve Smith, Delhomme would look good again, and they could make themselves into players in the NFC… which brings us to…
3) The Texans. Looks like Kubs finally has a team this year… and they could rule the NFC. Too bad about not being in there… Still, don’t be surprised if they make waves this year.
4) I said Culpepper would be a great mentor for JaMarcus Russell. If nothing else, it seems like they can share a lot of quality bench time together.
5) I said Denver would be the top of the AFC West… and this week, they are. This may change, as people are quick to point out that last second field goals against so-so teams are not a good sign, and I would sort of agree. Except that I remember many a year where Denver did not play at their own level, but at the level of their opposition. Conservative game play was opted for over putting a team away, and errors could nearly take the game out of their hands. It’s not good for a guy with high blood pressure to watch this sort of thing. But, as the trite saying goes, “A win is a win”. And for anyone claiming Shannahan cheated, it’s called “icing the kicker”, and it’s one of the oldest coaches’ tricks. And for the record, that game proved another part of my season predictions. The Raiders are going to be better than anyone thinks.
OK, off-season isn’t over yet. I know. There are a couple of impact players still floating in the ether of free agency. Players are still thinking about sitting out. Or joining in. Or joining in to talk about sitting out.
Like any good boss, Godell is in the process of following up on all arrest warrants (yes, I meant for that to sound confusing), and certain team coaches are still getting asked for their ID at the training facility (Security guard: “I don’t see you on the list. Could you spell Whisenhunt, please?”), and Jake Plummer has retired. Sort of. Without paperwork. Kind of. Basically, a lot can still happen.
But as folks start to plant their flags on the best and worst off-season moves, I would like to quickly review the most interesting points for me so far this year... in a format I shall dub...
“The Jmac Smac-ies”
The first Smac-ie goes to the NFL player acquisition most overshadowed by some other guy:
The nominees are:
Oakland Raiders: Josh McCown – Overshadowed by the drafting of JaMarcus Russell
Tennessee Titans: Nick Harper – Overshadowed by Adam “Pacman” Jones suspension and appeal
San Francisco: Darrell Jackson – Overshadowed by New England’s acquisition of Randy Moss
New England: Adalius Thomas - Overshadowed by acquisition of Randy Moss
New England: Donte’ Stallworth - Overshadowed by acquisition of Randy Moss
And the Smac-ie goes to... eh. We’ll give it to Jackson. San Fran traded Seattle for Jackson in the same round New England got Moss. Some how, no one thought this was a very big deal, but when you consider the 9ers were about to have Ashley Leile and Arnez Battle fighting it out for the top spot, you realize what a gain Jackson is. The important thing is, I’m sick of hearing about Randy Moss.
The next Smac-ie is to honor the team with showing the most moxie:
The nominees are:
Arizona Cardinals: New coach wants to run the ball in the barren desert, and may have made enough moves to pull it off.
Buffalo Bills: In an attempt to build an offensive line, they trade off every star caliber player... and it’s just crazy enough to work...
Cleveland Browns: A coach ropes in a pair of young talents to lead a rag tag crew on what may be his last stand
Houston Texans: After acquiring a new QB and RB through free agency, the team opts to draft defense... again.
Oakland Raiders: “Yeah, we’ll rebuild our team. And take a coach younger than half the roster! Cause I’m Al Davis, and I said so!”
And the Smac-ie goes to... Arizona. I mean... Arizona is where good RBs go to die. But Whisenhunt seems serious about this... and taking Levi Brown at 5? Really? Cut ties with the past. There’s a new Sherriff in town!
A special mid-show tribute to how much I love my Broncos:
Dear Pat Bowlen,
Thank you for the wonderful off-season. Thank you for sitting atop the organization that brought in so much talent to an already wonderful team. Thank you for signing the checks for guys like Jay Cutler, Travis Henry, Javon Walker, Rod Smith, Champ Bailey, Dre' Bly, John ####, Elvis Dumervil, Kenard Lang, and well, thank you for everything.
Thank you most of all for resigning Mike Shanahan in a timely fashion. Some teams aren't that smart.
I know it's not right to ask anything of a man who's already been responsible for so much, but, I have 2 requests.
#1. Could we please beat the Colts and Patriots in the playoffs this year. I don't like everyone having to be on their bandwagon when ours is so much cooler.
#2. If it isn't too much trouble, could you, you know, never wear that fur coat on the sidelines again? Judging from this whole Mike Vick thing, PETA has a bigger eye on the NFL than usual.
OK. Thanks.
-Jason
One team, one dream, forever and ever... Elway.
And now, the Smac-ie for the team demonstrating the least foresight: Miami: For thinking Ted Ginn Jr. was the way to go Atlanta: For trading Matt Schaub away Chicago: Putting a franchise tag on Lance Briggs Kansas City: For announcing Croyle would probably start next year Tampa Bay: For having two starting quaterbacks, and pulling in two more. One of which may be retired San Diego: For blowing up their coaching staff.
This was a toughy, so, I had to figure out who responded the best. Miami could still pan out. Kansas City’s oversight in not making Green a true “prize”, and Miami’s obvious need of Green could cancel each other out. Tampa may need all four guys, since 3 (Simms, Garcia, Plummer) have a high likelihood of not lasting all season. San Diego put together a pretty fierce staff, and still have a very good team (though if they bomb, you can’t blame proven players or new coaches). Atlanta pulled in... Joey Harrington... and if Mike Vick goes to jail, well, Joey won some games for Miami last year, and may still be looking for the right chance to shine. I would have to say then that Chicago’s choice to slap a franchise tag on a young, healthy guy with tons of talent who could contribute for years to come was the dumbest move of all. He just wanted a contract of length. Now, he won’t play, and Chicago’s response of “Yeah he will” just doesn’t cut it. This wouldn’t be such a problem if the Bear’s management didn’t sit so long on the idea of resigning Lovie Smith to a contract extension. Just poor choices made by a group who made the Super Bowl last year. Add to that the Bears had several opportunities to get some value for the guy, and with the franchise tag, he is guaranteed the average of the top 5 salaries at his position. Too much for nothing in return. No foresight whatsoever.
And finally, the Smac-ie for the dumbest off-season move:
The nominees are:
Chicago Bears: Not resigning Lance Briggs
Green Bay Packers: Not granting Brett Favre’s wishes
Miami Dolphins: Worst draft in recent memory
Pacman Jones: Suspend me? I know people who could ki... uh... forget I said that.
Kansas City Chiefs: O-Line? We don’t need no O-line! We have Larry Johnson and Brodie Croyle!
Detroit Lions: WE NEED MORE RECIEVERS!!! YYYEEEESSSSSSS!!!
Ricky Williams: Up in smoke.
And the winner is:
It’s a close one!
Ricky Williams and Pacman as individuals have made enough dumb choices to outweigh any organizational moves. But here’s the thing... does anyone really know what happened with Pac? I don’t. I know he has responded like an ####, but I still have a very sketchy picture of... well... pretty much every charge against him. But Ricky... that one’s just easy. I mean, “Say no to drugs”. Not hard. Nancy Regan got it. Why can’t he? And he was soooooo close. That’s just dumb. In one hand, my future. Riches, stardom, you name it. In the other... weed. And anyone can get weed. Just a waste. His reactions have left something to be desired too, and now it seems official he will not ever be welcomed back in Miami. Just plain dumb.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, were the 2007 off-season Smac-ies, brought to you by JMac. Remember, if it says JMac, it means quality.
Please, clean up after yourselves on you way out, and don’t forget if you checked you coat on the way in. I will rifle your pockets if they are left.
So here I am, stuck home today recovering from the aftermath of a migraine headache the size of Ruben Droughns, and about as equally effective. It's funny, because after such a mauling of the brain, basic processes come back slowly. Bits of reality you once thought simple now seem so far away, and you can't help but wonder "How did this come to be?"
The first example is here, in this blogging community. Why, oh why, is it so hard to have blogs properly placed? I imagine people tag their amazing kick boxing and NASCAR blogs as NFL specific because let's face it... no one really cares about the other sports. We get insightful blogs that are actually about football buried beneath the rubbish of men's beach volleyball. Seriously folks, it's rude.
But it could be worse.
You see, I have also come to realize that I have become delussional myself. After watching football most my life, after several successful seasons in fantasy football... I have managed to convince myself that I am an expert. Some people might have glimpsed a recent spat I had with another blogger about Wes Welker. I like him on the Pats, the other gentleman didn't. So we went round and around. He found stats, I glanced over them... I spent time thinking about what I saw of him on the Dolphin's last year, and wondered why Joey Harrington wasn't a better NFL QB (I was at University of Oregon during his junior year). Anyway, we both had our points, but we sounded so high and mighty. I'll admit, he made a better arguement than me... but does it matter? What do either of us gain from it? I can't imagine looking this guy up if Wes is a top 15 WR this year to say "I told you so". The truth is, this is like the adult world of make believe, where we watch, we make claims, and like some strange role playing game, we shout who is better. But let's face it. The NFL doesn't need our help in making calls. They all have their reasons, and we just witness the results. Whoo hoo.
Next up, I saw several articles this week about Pacman appealing his suspension and Ricky Williams testing positive for weed again. I wrote one of my first blogs on how a company shouldn't have the right to make moral judgements on it's employees, and instead, that the code of conduct should enable people to just get fired, not suspended. I still feel that if someone has violated a law, a fair and balanced legal system should decide punishment. An employer should just decide i####uy works there or not. I still like this idea, however, I have also come to the thought that players are idiots. I mean, Pacman's appeal was "Other people did it too..." Really? That's all your lawyers got? I had to start thinking more creatively in grade school. I really hope Godell comes back with "Well, if all the other players jumped of a bridge, would you do it ten times?" And Ricky... please... STOP GIVING YOGA A BAD NAME. IT'S JUST WEED MAN!!! You're instant reaction of "I'm a yoga master now" returns that old school flare that meditative arts are for hippie burn outs. STOP IT.
Finally, as I say in every blog, I love my Broncs. I do. Which is why I think Fantasy Football has ruined me. You see, it forced me to pay more attention to the larger league, and God help me... I'm hoping the... Raiders do well this year? I mean, not as well as the Broncs, and lord knows the Chargers are going to be hard to beat, but... I like the Raiders off season. I like Kiffin. I don't know how to deal with this. I could give you a list of my top NFL teams, 1-32, and the Raiders are supposed to be in the bottom 4. But they're not. I just... don't know how to be OK with this. I think I just like the really good games back again.
Well, I'm going to go rest my precious brain again. I wish you all well.
