Football is a wonderful game. Strategy, physical talent, improv, and planning... this game is amazing... but I'm also getting p.issy about things that impeed my fandom... here's a list of things I could do without...
1) Whiney coaches - OK, stealing signals is one thing. I mean, it's like looking at another guys' cards in poker... that being said, if you can get away with it, you just might find yourself to be the peeking type. But then this crud about mimicking snap counts, or calling time outs, or sending tapes to the NFL AFTER you've already won the game? Seriously? I don't want to hear it. I don't want to read about it. I don't want to hear from long retired coaches about how they used to get away with things or not get away with things. I want to watch football.
2) Nicknames - Oh man, so sick of this, especially since most of them don't last too long. Abbreviations are fine. If I mention L.J. or L.T. to my friends, they know who I mean (though if I mention L.T. to my dad, he's liable to get confused). But since Daunte Hall was dubbed "the human joystick", it's all been downhill. I just wonder how long before Chicago's Adrian Peterson becomes known simply as "The other"
3) Sports writers making vague references - I just read an article where someone mentions the "S.S. Minow". Really? Look, the references aren't helping anyone out. They can only hurt, so stop. I mean, if Dennis Miller couldn't pull it off like a greek tradgedy, why should you do any better?
4) Tony Kornheiser - Speaking of commentators destroying MNF, I actually cancelled my cable service to avoid hearing this man call another game ever again. In preseason, he talked about David Copperfield and refs wearing sequened dresses. Does he even know where he is?
5) Animal rights activists - Look, we can all agree Vick is a bad, bad man, but I really don't want PETA jumping up on Sunday and declaring who the baby seal thinks should win. I don't have anything against the cause exactly, except that it's still kind of polar to football fandom, and this excuse for a podium stinks. It's like Soviet Russia and The U.S. agreeing n.azism is a bad thing. Once it's over, stay off of eachother's property. We're still grilling burgers in the parking lot before the game.
6) Race issues - Please, just stop. Play the game.
7) Article responses - Look, I'm glad the internet allows us all to post our opinions on something, but I'm sick of seeing people rush to post "FIRST!" next to a new article, as if they've been salivating all night waiting for the queue to update. It's the same muck rakers who throw out barbs that aren't needed to fuel a fire and list their killer blog about their kids' soccor team as an NFL blog just to rise to the top of the screen. Get over yourself.
8) Personal life articles - Don't care who Tom Brady is putting babies in. Don't care about Strahan's divorce. Don't care who goes to what clubs. Don't care. Don't care.
9) Oh, and bleeps in blogs. I don't know, someday, when people can post blogs like adults we won't have to get fancy to keep certain words (fully approved by the FCC) from turning into a blue bleep on the foxsports screen.
OK, that's the short list, but can't we just get down with fandom? Can't we stay focused on the sport itself and not turn the NFL into Hollywood part 2? I beg for sanity in sports. I beg for respect amongst fans.
Oh man, at first I loved how fox allowed us to comment on their news stories, but the inevitable 6 people rushing to put FIRST there has pushed me past the point where I can't even scroll down and read them anymore. Not only that, but half of the loons just write that nobody cares or that the article was stupid. The other half argue about something that wasn't even part of the article.
Yeah, I don't think putting "FIRST!" is a major prize to be won... I'm sure people are saying interesting things in response to articles, I just can't get past all the "FIRST!" and "PATS SUPERBOWL" (or sports team of choice) folks to read them.
There's an idea, maybe Foxsports should put the blue bleep over "FIRST!"
