Until now, I've kept my promise of blogging three times a week. A recap of the Giants game early in the week, followed by the declarations mid-week, and then my NFL picks combined with a miscellaneous article late in the week. Well, due to the holidays (and the fact that the Giants absolutely sucked on Saturday), I was not able to get on here to rehash the Big Blue mess. My bad. I'm sure you all; a)noticed, b)were upset by this. Sorry. Anyway, I'm going to break format a little here, and kick off the fifth installment of the dirty dozen with some thoughts on the G-men, or, more to the point, their fans.

Jdeppa's Dozen Declarations (Volume V)

1. Any Giants fan that has the nerve to complain about Eli Manning ought to be buried next to Jimmy Hoffa.

Over the last month, the Giants, with 2nd year quarterback Eli Manning under center, have compiled a record of 3-1. The "1" was not his fault as he; didn't drop a sure touchdown pass (Plaxico Burress), didn't throw a very questionable flag for holding on a play that went for a touchdown (Walt Coleman), didn't let Clinton Portis run all over the place (the Giants front seven), and he didn't make Santana Moss look like the greatest football player of all-time (Will Allen). Yet, here in New York, my fellow Giants fans have been unbelievably critical of Manning's play. And yes, at times, it hasn't at all been great. But, in year two of the Manning era, he will throw for just a shade under 4,000 yards, he will toss 25 touchdown passes, and, by the way, he will lead the Giants to the playoffs. It will not get worse from here, it will only get better. I don't see how any fan of the football Giants can possibly complain about Manning. At least two thirds of NFL GM's would toss their quarterbacks in the gutter to acquire Eli Manning. Do you know how fortunate we are to have him? Memo to Giants fans: Shut the hell up, and enjoy the ride dammit!

2. Bears vs. Seahawks in the NFC championship game will never happen.

This happens every week after the NFL action. These fools from the national media always make long-range prognostications based on one week of play, which they are forced to abandon a few weeks later. This week, the general consensus amongst these morons was that you can forget about any NFC team other than Seattle and Chicago going to the Super Bowl. Hell, Michael Irvin went so far as to make the idiotic statement that the Seahawks were even better than the Colts (dammit Mike, wipe your nose before you go on tv). But there's a tangible reason the Bears and the Seahawks have compiled all of these wins. They've both gotten fat on their horrible division opponents, as each will, likely, go 6-0 in their division. The other two NFC divisions are considerably tougher. I’m not dismissing these two teams, I’m just saying that the jury’s still out on each of them. I’m certain that one of them will get picked off in the divisional round of the playoffs. I’ll go with Chicago. I still doubt that they’ll get enough offensive production to win in the postseason, despite the emergence of Rex Grossman.

3. The Cowboys will make the playoffs.

Between the Panthers and the Redskins, one of those teams will lose. They both play divisional games on the road, in which they are tepid favorites. If one of them loses, it opens the door for the Cowboys, who stayed in the hunt with their big win over Carolina last week. I just think that too many games have gone according to form in the past few weeks. Something nutty is bound to happen sooner or later, and I think the ‘Boys will be the beneficiary.

4. The 2005 NFL regular season has been mediocre, at best.

It’s been a very lackluster regular season. For the most part, everything is already decided in the AFC, and there are only a few things to keep an eye on in the NFC. The line between the good teams and the bad teams is much clearer this season than it’s been in the past. And so there are many teams with good records, and more than a few with awful records. It seems like there are only a select few good games each week. With the postseason approaching, that soon will be eliminated. And hopefully, the excitement level will pick up.

5. Pete Carroll’s going to leave USC soon and it’s the right decision.

It sounds like #### Vermeil will resign from the Chiefs at year’s end. A few names have been mentioned prominently with this potential job opening. One is Herman Edwards. He’s not as bad of a coach as he’s been made out to be here in New York, but I think he has a little Marty Schottenheimer in him (bad game management, far too conservative at times). So, with that explosive offense, I’d advise the Chiefs to stay away from him. Another name is Pete Carroll. I don’t know about this move from the Chiefs’ standpoint, but, for Carroll, it’s definitely the right thing to do. I don’t care what kind of recruiting classes Carroll has coming in; it will only get worse for him at Southern Cal. He has absolutely nothing left to prove with the Trojans. There is no challenge there anymore. Until he wins in the NFL, there are still lingering questions as to his coaching abilities. The only way to answer those questions would be to come back, and Kansas City would be an excellent spot for him. The Chiefs should be even better on offense with Carroll at the controls, and with young players like Derrick Johnson and Jared Allen on defense, that unit should soon come into its own. After Carroll wins another national championship next week, he ought to seriously think about moving on. He’s done all that he can do there.

6. There is no need for Bernard Hopkins and Roy Jones to fight each other next March.

Let’s call this what it is: a blatant money grab. These two guys should’ve done this four years ago, when Hopkins beat Trinidad, and Jones still had his reputation as pound-for-pound king in tact. To have this fight now is foolish. Jones, who swore for years that he would not risk his health in the ring, is doing just that by continuing to fight. And he’s on a three fight losing streak. Hopkins will bring a two fight losing streak into the bout (the second defeat much more clear-cut than the first). These guys are way past their prime. And, frankly, neither one was that entertaining when they were in their prime. Hopkins was very mechanical in his fights, and Jones always fought someone that was overmatched. These guys have had terrific careers; they need to call it quits right away. Modern boxers often use this line when explaining their rationale for choosing fights; “If it makes dollars, it makes sense (get it? Sense, not cents. Funny, huh? ).” This one makes dollars, but it doesn’t make any sense.

7. Putting a football game on at 8:00 pm on New Year’s Eve is absolutely the dumbest idea ever.

I know I got off of the NFL, but I have one last comment here. This putting a game on at 8:00 on New Year’s Eve is remarkably stupid. I wouldn’t care, of course, if my Giants weren’t playing in that game, but, alas, they are. And it just happens to be for the division title. I’ve watched every play of every Giants game so far this season, but this will change on Saturday. I’m leaving my house at about 10:00 on New Year’s Eve, and I just have to hope that the Giants have the game under control by then (against the 4-11 Raiders, they damn well better), or else I’ll end up looking like a fool, asking one of my boys to put the game on the radio on in the car, when we should be blasting some 50 Cent, or whatever it is that cool people do. “Yo, are you high man?” One of my boys will undoubtedly ask when I make this unusual request. No I’m not, I’ll say, but Paul Tagliabue sure as hell must’ve been for putting a game on at this time. What idiocy. How is any Giants fan under the age of 30 supposed to watch the entirety of this game? And this is the last game of the season, no less, with an awful lot at stake. Thanks, commish. Great call on this one.

8. 2005 wasn’t a great year in sports.

I touched on it earlier with the NFL, and it got me to thinking that, not only was it a sub par year for them, but also, for pretty much every other American sport as well. Baseball’s World Series ended in a sweep, and was contested between two non-descript franchises. The NBA is nowhere near the commodity that it used to be in America, and the NHL (which nobody cares about anyway) was on strike. March Madness provided its usual thrills, but lacked many of the stunning upsets that make it such a spectacle. And college football has put its 2005 season entirely in the hands of USC and Texas, who had better not disappoint in the Rose Bowl. Hopefully, 2006 will turn out a little better for the sports fan.

9. Not even in a movie is Eugene Levy allowed to be married to Carmen Electra.

I know her stock has gone dramatically down since the whole Dennis Rodman fiasco, but Carmen Electra is not in the same stratosphere as Eugene Levy (Jim’s dad from American Pie, you know, the one with the eyebrows)! And yet, in the new movie “Cheaper by the Dozen 2” (it was my little cousins, they were in town for the holidays, it was raining, and there was nothing else to do…I mean nothing), “superpimp” Levy is apparently married to Carmen Electra in the movie. Good God! That doesn’t do anybody any good at all. Upon seeing that, as a man, you automatically say to yourself; “Damn! How can Eugene Levy get with Carmen Electra, and I’m stuck with ______?”. Unreal man. I’m willing to suspend disbelief in the movie theatre, but, come on man, that’s asking too much. A couple of other random thoughts from that movie. 1) When Hollywood is done with you, they’re done with you. Just ask Steve Martin. Poor guy. 2) It’s too bad Hilary Duff sold out and went on the Coke (not the soda) and Red Bull diet with the rest of the Hollywood teeny-boppers. She had a great figure once, and now she’s a stick. But did anybody catch her sister’s photo spread in this month’s issue of Maxim? I know they air-brush those things to death, but, I must confess, that messed up little nose she has just does it for me. I don’t know why. 3) Can we please chill with the American Pie Movies? One was a scream, two was okay, three was pushing it. Now there’s a fourth. And the aforementioned Levy’s been in all of them, including this latest straight-to-DVD gem. Levy, what a doofus. How’d he luck into this role? I know Carmen Electra has no acting career to speak of, but, one must wonder, was she that desperate?

10. The NYC transit strike of ‘05 has officially taken its place alongside the Baseball Umpires Strike, and the Air Traffic Controllers strike, as one of the worst job actions in American history.

What a complete disaster this turned out to be. As a reward for striking three days (and, under NYC law, losing six days salary), NYC transit workers got an extra .4% in wages over the next three years. But now, they are forced to pay 2% of their salary annually into their healthcare coverage, something that was not on the table when the strike was called. The math works out horribly for the transit workers, when you factor in the pay that they lost because of the strike. And yet these fools, when interviewed on the news last night, were thrilled with what they got. Good. They deserved it, for blindly following their clueless leadership.

11. Based on this first part of the competition, I am not the “Next Great Sportswriter” presented by McDonald’s (McDonald’s: I’m lovin’ it!)

Okay, my last blog entry before the judges come down with their decision, it’s time for a direct appeal. Guys, if you’re reading this, I honestly don’t believe I’m the top dog so far. My stuff hasn’t been quite as imaginative as some of the others. But I don’t feel that I deserve to be eliminated yet either. I think I would absolutely excel in the next part of the competition, in which we are given strict assignments. I believe that I could do more within the parameters of an assignment than some of the others. The thing that I’ve brought to the table so far in this contest is consistency. I’ve, save for Monday, kept all of my self-imposed deadlines. And I don’t think I’ve thrown in any complete clunkers, yet. My best hasn’t been as good as the best stuff on here, but my worst, I feel, isn’t all that bad in comparison to some of the others. I feel that I’ve shown some nice versatility, mixing in some short pieces in with the longer ones. I plan to do this for a living one day, whether I win in this competition or not. Even if I don’t go all the way, it’d be nice to put something like a high finish in this competition on my resume. Many thanks for your consideration; Peter, Tom, and Chris. And I appreciate the opportunity very much. Good luck with your decision, I know it’s not an easy one.

12. As a culture, we should be proud of ourselves for…caring.

I’m sick of knocking our society every week; I thought I’d end this edition of the dozen with something positive, for a change. I think that we should be proud of ourselves for questioning the powers that be in this country. It’s important that we care about things like the painfully slow response to Hurricane Katrina. It’s important that we call out those in charge to answer for certain things, like a war started on the basis of faulty intelligence. We voted in higher numbers than ever before in the 2004 election, and that shows the rest of the world that at least we care. For this, we should be proud of ourselves.

Shocked and surprised that my calling out of the gramatically challenged bloggers did not start a small war, Jdeppa's Dozen Declarations is back for a third edition. I want to thank those who commented in support of my thoughts a week ago. It's refreshing to see that I'm not the only one sick of reading some of the complete nonsense that's out there. Anyway, I've got twelve more declarations coming at you, in yet another effort to stir the pot and get Fox Sports nation talking.

1. Anybody who bought into the Chargers looks like a complete fool.

I put myself right at the top of this list. I was duped into believing that this team was so good that they would even overcome the walking jinx that is Marty Schottenheimer. Their disgraceful loss to the Dolphins on Sunday is squarely on his shoulders. It is his job to get his team focused for the upcoming game, and not have them look past any opponent. Several Dolphins commented after the game that the Chargers clearly were looking past them, and ahead to their match-up with the, now 13-0, Indianapolis Colts, a match-up which is now rendered irrelevent. Their secondary made the woeful Gus Frerotte look like Joe Montana. And their offense appeared to be half-asleep. They deserve to miss the playoffs, which they now will. A quick aside: Nick Saban can coach. This team has a chance to go .500, which would be a terrific building block. Long-term, they need a quarterback. But it won't be long before this team is really good.

2. Any official who throws a late flag on 4th and goal at the 6 to decide a game should be fired on the spot.

If you read my blog, you know that I am a Giants fan. I want to put this fact right out there because I don't want this to sound like sour grapes, seeing as I'm referring to a call that gave the Dallas Cowboys a huge win against Kansas City on Sunday. With that out of the way, this call was a complete joke. Not because there wasn't a penalty on the play, in fact there was. Chief linebacker Derrick Johnson clearly held Cowboy tight end Jason Witten, and deserved to be flagged on the play, even in an end of game situation. My gripe is with the timing of the flag. The official waited, by my count, six full seconds after the infraction, to throw his flag. He waited for the completion of the play, to make sure the Cowboys didn't score, before he reached for his flag. Had they scored, he never would've thrown it. This is a disgrace. If there's a foul on the play, just make the call, and don't wait for the play to end. This leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. Had the infraction not been as flagrant as it was, I would've gone completely bonkers. Terrible job by that official. He must not worry about himself, which he clearly was in waiting to throw that flag. If he sees something, he's got to call it, promptly, or else keep his hands in his pockets. (By the way, Cowboy right tackle Rob Pettiti got away with a flagrant hold on that play, and nobody seemed to mention it...okay THAT was sour grapes...damn zebras!)

3. If Peyton Manning doesn't win his Super Bowl this year, he can never be mentioned as an all-time great again.

There is absolutely no competition for the Indianapolis Colts this year. Peyton Manning has no excuses. If his loses a playoff game this year, it's because he choked. There's no good reason why the Colts shouldn't waltz through the postseason this year. The second best team, whoever you think it is (my reluctant vote goes to the Broncos), is lightyears behind the Colts right now. There couldn't be more pressure on Peyton Manning, but I couldn't care less. He's got the talent around him on offense, and, not a championship defense, but certainly a good enough defense. A failure this year, with this team, would be a complete disaster. He can keep his touchdown records and his other obscene stats. If he doesn't get it done this year, he's a choke artist, pure and simple. And that kind of player does not deserve a place on the list we've commonly placed him on, with the who's who of NFL greats. No excuses Peyton, just get it done.

4. Reggie Bush is good, but not good enough that a kicker should have to humiliate himself in order for his team to land him in the draft.

I want to believe that the Texans would not compromise the integrity of the game, I really do. Sometimes, I have more faith in the professional athlete than I probably should. But I just cannot get past that pathetic kick attempted by the Kris Brown of the Texans this past Sunday, with a last-second chance to tie the game against the Titans. Did you see this thing? It was a 33 yarder from the right hash, that was pulled so far left that it went outside of the netting. It was a kick so bad that, by comparison, it made Jay Feely look like Lou Groza. What a complete joke. It was definitely the funniest thing I've seen on a football field in quite some time. And yes, I'm not supposed to read anything into the fact that Dan Reeves has been hired by the Texans as a consultant for the last six weeks of the season. Right. Uh-huh. Whatever you say.

5. If Colorado's athletic department is smart, they will do whatever it takes to land Boise State head coach Dan Hawkins, and his imaginative offensive coordinator Chris Peterson.

It will take quite a lot. Hawkins is the last of a dying breed in this country that is truly not moved by the prospects of money, or fame. He has turned down, at least a hal####ozen offers to coach BCS conference schools in the past, including, rumor has it, one from Notre Dame (which he, in the past, called his dream job). But this is a special head football coach. If he comes as part of a package deal, with his brilliant offensive coordinator, and his elite 11 quarterback son (who is currently planning to walk-on at Boise State), he would be even better. Here's his Division IA resume. Five years at Boise State. An overall 52-10 record. Four consecutive conference titles (in the same conference as perennial mid-major powerhouse Fresno State). A three year streak in which his team was ranked in the top 15 at season's end. And only three conference losses over his entire tenure. Here's the most impressive thing about all of this, and why his success differs from that of all other mid-major coaches. Boise State's sustained success is unparalled in the BCS era. When a mid-major is good, it is because, in most cases, they were lucky enough to land a big-time quarterback (see Alex Smith, Ben Roethlisberger, Byron Leftwich, and countless others). Think about this, Hawkins has acheived all of this success without so much as a single first day NFL draft pick having ever been on his roster. His talent is his uncanny ability to motivate. He emphasizes the team concept like no other, and gets every last ounce of talent he can out of all of his players. He gets one and two star recruits to play like three and four star recruits. If given the chance, he will get three and four star recruits to play like five star recruits. And when he eventually lands five star recruits, he will get them to play like seasoned professionals. And his offensive coordinator, Chris Peterson, is an x's and o's mastermind. He masterfully combines a power, between the tackles running game, with a finesse throw it all over the lot passing game, that leaves opposing defenses dumbfounded. Boise State has averaged 45 points per game over the Hawkins era, and I assure you this is not a fluke. Hawkins is unbelievably loyal, and my guess is that he'll stay in Boise. If he does, he will eventually make the smurf-turfers into a perennial powerhouse, and his name will, one day, go on the list with Paterno, Bowden, and Osborne. Colorado is advised to ignore NFL retreads like Steve Mariucci and Butch Davis, and pursue Hawkins with reckless abandon.

6. Pat Riley is a snake, Stan Van Gundy is a wimp, and they both deserve the enormous amount of criticism they are getting.

I used to idolize Pat Riley. He masterfully guided my beloved New York Knicks for quite a few years while I was growing up. When I didn't know any better, I used to love the guy. I considered his book, The Winner Within, my personal Bible, before I realized that it was complete nonsense. He can coach, I'm not at all denying that. But he is also a backstabbing, image-conscious, selfish, two-faced weasel. Between his faxed resignation from the Knicks, and now his carefully manufactured manipulation back to the Miami Heat bench, this is not a good person, at all. He deserves no respect from anyone. Nor does outgoing Heat coach Stan Van Gundy, who rolled over and played dead at the press conference on Monday. I don't know how much money he got for his trouble, but there was no need to be so enthusiastic about getting #### out of his job. I have no sympathy for him. If he didn't put up a fight to keep his job, then why should I? He deserved exactly what he got.

7. ESPN had its head up its collective behind with its coverage of the Riley press conference on Monday morning.

I happened to catch the news of this sham going down in Miami early Monday morning, and was curious to see how Riley, the devil in Armani, would conduct himself at the press conference. So I went out of my way to check it out. I was tuned to ESPNEWS at 11am ET, where a message at the bottom corner of the screen informed me that coverage of the press conference would take placed once it got going. At 11:10, it still hadn't started. Thankfully, I got curious, and flipped to the other ESPN channels to see what was up. I found the conference, already in progress, on ESPN2. Stan Van Gundy was in the middle of his nonsenical speech, but fortunately, I hadn't missed too much. After Van Gundy finished, he was followed by Heat owner Micky Arison, and then by new coach Riley. After Riley finished, ESPN2 cut away from the press conference, just as it was being opened up for questions. They left the press conference to go to their moronic Cold Pizza show, where their baloonhead analysts were offering up their worthless commentary on the matter. What a disgrace. The whole point of covering the thing is to see Riley and Van Gundy squirm when the media calls them on their b.s.! To imply that what their knucklehead analysts have to say is more important, relevent, or entertaining than what Riles and Van Gundy have to say, is utterly nonsensical. It smacks of self-importance. It doesn't need to be said by me, because it's been said by countless others. But ESPN is truly about style over substance. The sports fan needs them, because they televise the games. But it is not for the sports fan. It's for everyone else. This is an intelligent marketing move, I suppose. But it becomes less desirable each day to its core audience.

8. The Yankees will rue the day they signed Kyle Farnsworth.

This signing by the Yankees made the Met fan in me smile from ear to ear. Kyle Farnsworth throws a 100 mph fastball. It, however, has no movement, and it will constantly be turned around by American League sluggers. Tom Gordon choked in the big game, granted. But at least he got them to the big game. Farnsworth will not even do that. If he lasts until June, I will be surprised. I'm thrilled to see that another rough year (by their standards) is on the horizon for the aging Bronx Bombers.

9. If King Kong isn't the greatest movie of all-time, every movie critic in the country should lose their job.

The hype for this movie has been absolutely sickening. Review after review has heaped mountains of praise on this stupid thing. It is as if these critics are trying to out-do each other in glorifying this movie, solely in an effort to get noticed. It's akin to what football analysts having been doing with teams like the Bengals for the last few weeks. They've been trying to make the craziest statements possible about that team only so that people will know their name. Same thing with this movie. King Kong is probably a really good movie that I'm going to end up not liking, because I walked in expecting The Godfather. Not that these awards mean anything, but the movie only got one Golden Globe Nomination (for Peter Jackson's direction). If the movie was truly on that level, I have to think it would've gotten, at the very least, a nomination for best picture. My cynicism leads me to believe that some of these critics might be on the take. With the movie's enormous $207 million dollar budget, and massive national promotional campaign, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if they had a few critics in their pocket. Or, at a minimum, hooked them up with some good champagne or something at the screenings. As a movie buff, I sincerely hope this movie does live up to the incredible hype, but I truly doubt it.

10. Richard Pryor was the greatest stand-up comedian that ever lived.

I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute to this man, who, in some way, inspired every good comedian that ever followed him. His irreverence was unparalleled for his time. His willingness to say anything and everything on his mind took an awful lot of guts, and for that he ought to be commended. The man was an absolute scream when he was in his prime. His best stuff makes the Chris Rocks and Dave Chappelles of the world look amatuerish by comparison. His drug addiction was heartbreaking, and his death was far too premature. Here's saluting a legend. He'll be missed.

11. President Bush has been given one last chance by the American people to save his administration.

With his approval ratings inching their way north of the forty percent threshold, the President has one final chance to unify the country, and do some good things with his Presidency. I'm not sure what exactly brought about the change in public opinion (my mind, for one, hasn't really been changed), but I'm willing to give this man another chance, as an alternative to living in a divided nation for the next three years. America, Mr. President, appears ready to give you one more chance to return our great nation to prosperity. I implore you to seize it.

12. As a culture, we should be ashamed of ourselves for...forgetting 9/11.

In New York this past week, two cops were shot to death in the line of duty. This inspired me to write about the incredible sacrifices made, on a daily basis by all men and women in uniform. Be they police officers, firemen, or armed forces, they deserve our humble gratitude far more often than they receive it. We all think these thoughts, but we must verbalize them more often. Because we do not let these people know nearly enough just how grateful we are for their service to our city, and/or our country. We acknowledged them after September 11th, as, of course, we should've. And, at the time, we swore we'd never forget. We lied. We watched NFL football on September 11th this past year. Hell, in New York, our television stations cut away from the Ground Zero tributes in favor of the damn pregame shows! This truly angers me. I implore each and every one of you to do what I did today. Find a serviceman, be it a cop, fireman, or soldier, go up to them, and thank them. These people need to know that we haven't forgotten them. Because, right now, I don't think they do. And, for this, we should be ashamed of ourselves.