Until now, I've kept my promise of blogging three times a week. A recap of the Giants game early in the week, followed by the declarations mid-week, and then my NFL picks combined with a miscellaneous article late in the week. Well, due to the holidays (and the fact that the Giants absolutely sucked on Saturday), I was not able to get on here to rehash the Big Blue mess. My bad. I'm sure you all; a)noticed, b)were upset by this. Sorry. Anyway, I'm going to break format a little here, and kick off the fifth installment of the dirty dozen with some thoughts on the G-men, or, more to the point, their fans.

Jdeppa's Dozen Declarations (Volume V)

1. Any Giants fan that has the nerve to complain about Eli Manning ought to be buried next to Jimmy Hoffa.

Over the last month, the Giants, with 2nd year quarterback Eli Manning under center, have compiled a record of 3-1. The "1" was not his fault as he; didn't drop a sure touchdown pass (Plaxico Burress), didn't throw a very questionable flag for holding on a play that went for a touchdown (Walt Coleman), didn't let Clinton Portis run all over the place (the Giants front seven), and he didn't make Santana Moss look like the greatest football player of all-time (Will Allen). Yet, here in New York, my fellow Giants fans have been unbelievably critical of Manning's play. And yes, at times, it hasn't at all been great. But, in year two of the Manning era, he will throw for just a shade under 4,000 yards, he will toss 25 touchdown passes, and, by the way, he will lead the Giants to the playoffs. It will not get worse from here, it will only get better. I don't see how any fan of the football Giants can possibly complain about Manning. At least two thirds of NFL GM's would toss their quarterbacks in the gutter to acquire Eli Manning. Do you know how fortunate we are to have him? Memo to Giants fans: Shut the hell up, and enjoy the ride dammit!

2. Bears vs. Seahawks in the NFC championship game will never happen.

This happens every week after the NFL action. These fools from the national media always make long-range prognostications based on one week of play, which they are forced to abandon a few weeks later. This week, the general consensus amongst these morons was that you can forget about any NFC team other than Seattle and Chicago going to the Super Bowl. Hell, Michael Irvin went so far as to make the idiotic statement that the Seahawks were even better than the Colts (dammit Mike, wipe your nose before you go on tv). But there's a tangible reason the Bears and the Seahawks have compiled all of these wins. They've both gotten fat on their horrible division opponents, as each will, likely, go 6-0 in their division. The other two NFC divisions are considerably tougher. I’m not dismissing these two teams, I’m just saying that the jury’s still out on each of them. I’m certain that one of them will get picked off in the divisional round of the playoffs. I’ll go with Chicago. I still doubt that they’ll get enough offensive production to win in the postseason, despite the emergence of Rex Grossman.

3. The Cowboys will make the playoffs.

Between the Panthers and the Redskins, one of those teams will lose. They both play divisional games on the road, in which they are tepid favorites. If one of them loses, it opens the door for the Cowboys, who stayed in the hunt with their big win over Carolina last week. I just think that too many games have gone according to form in the past few weeks. Something nutty is bound to happen sooner or later, and I think the ‘Boys will be the beneficiary.

4. The 2005 NFL regular season has been mediocre, at best.

It’s been a very lackluster regular season. For the most part, everything is already decided in the AFC, and there are only a few things to keep an eye on in the NFC. The line between the good teams and the bad teams is much clearer this season than it’s been in the past. And so there are many teams with good records, and more than a few with awful records. It seems like there are only a select few good games each week. With the postseason approaching, that soon will be eliminated. And hopefully, the excitement level will pick up.

5. Pete Carroll’s going to leave USC soon and it’s the right decision.

It sounds like #### Vermeil will resign from the Chiefs at year’s end. A few names have been mentioned prominently with this potential job opening. One is Herman Edwards. He’s not as bad of a coach as he’s been made out to be here in New York, but I think he has a little Marty Schottenheimer in him (bad game management, far too conservative at times). So, with that explosive offense, I’d advise the Chiefs to stay away from him. Another name is Pete Carroll. I don’t know about this move from the Chiefs’ standpoint, but, for Carroll, it’s definitely the right thing to do. I don’t care what kind of recruiting classes Carroll has coming in; it will only get worse for him at Southern Cal. He has absolutely nothing left to prove with the Trojans. There is no challenge there anymore. Until he wins in the NFL, there are still lingering questions as to his coaching abilities. The only way to answer those questions would be to come back, and Kansas City would be an excellent spot for him. The Chiefs should be even better on offense with Carroll at the controls, and with young players like Derrick Johnson and Jared Allen on defense, that unit should soon come into its own. After Carroll wins another national championship next week, he ought to seriously think about moving on. He’s done all that he can do there.

6. There is no need for Bernard Hopkins and Roy Jones to fight each other next March.

Let’s call this what it is: a blatant money grab. These two guys should’ve done this four years ago, when Hopkins beat Trinidad, and Jones still had his reputation as pound-for-pound king in tact. To have this fight now is foolish. Jones, who swore for years that he would not risk his health in the ring, is doing just that by continuing to fight. And he’s on a three fight losing streak. Hopkins will bring a two fight losing streak into the bout (the second defeat much more clear-cut than the first). These guys are way past their prime. And, frankly, neither one was that entertaining when they were in their prime. Hopkins was very mechanical in his fights, and Jones always fought someone that was overmatched. These guys have had terrific careers; they need to call it quits right away. Modern boxers often use this line when explaining their rationale for choosing fights; “If it makes dollars, it makes sense (get it? Sense, not cents. Funny, huh? ).” This one makes dollars, but it doesn’t make any sense.

7. Putting a football game on at 8:00 pm on New Year’s Eve is absolutely the dumbest idea ever.

I know I got off of the NFL, but I have one last comment here. This putting a game on at 8:00 on New Year’s Eve is remarkably stupid. I wouldn’t care, of course, if my Giants weren’t playing in that game, but, alas, they are. And it just happens to be for the division title. I’ve watched every play of every Giants game so far this season, but this will change on Saturday. I’m leaving my house at about 10:00 on New Year’s Eve, and I just have to hope that the Giants have the game under control by then (against the 4-11 Raiders, they damn well better), or else I’ll end up looking like a fool, asking one of my boys to put the game on the radio on in the car, when we should be blasting some 50 Cent, or whatever it is that cool people do. “Yo, are you high man?” One of my boys will undoubtedly ask when I make this unusual request. No I’m not, I’ll say, but Paul Tagliabue sure as hell must’ve been for putting a game on at this time. What idiocy. How is any Giants fan under the age of 30 supposed to watch the entirety of this game? And this is the last game of the season, no less, with an awful lot at stake. Thanks, commish. Great call on this one.

8. 2005 wasn’t a great year in sports.

I touched on it earlier with the NFL, and it got me to thinking that, not only was it a sub par year for them, but also, for pretty much every other American sport as well. Baseball’s World Series ended in a sweep, and was contested between two non-descript franchises. The NBA is nowhere near the commodity that it used to be in America, and the NHL (which nobody cares about anyway) was on strike. March Madness provided its usual thrills, but lacked many of the stunning upsets that make it such a spectacle. And college football has put its 2005 season entirely in the hands of USC and Texas, who had better not disappoint in the Rose Bowl. Hopefully, 2006 will turn out a little better for the sports fan.

9. Not even in a movie is Eugene Levy allowed to be married to Carmen Electra.

I know her stock has gone dramatically down since the whole Dennis Rodman fiasco, but Carmen Electra is not in the same stratosphere as Eugene Levy (Jim’s dad from American Pie, you know, the one with the eyebrows)! And yet, in the new movie “Cheaper by the Dozen 2” (it was my little cousins, they were in town for the holidays, it was raining, and there was nothing else to do…I mean nothing), “superpimp” Levy is apparently married to Carmen Electra in the movie. Good God! That doesn’t do anybody any good at all. Upon seeing that, as a man, you automatically say to yourself; “Damn! How can Eugene Levy get with Carmen Electra, and I’m stuck with ______?”. Unreal man. I’m willing to suspend disbelief in the movie theatre, but, come on man, that’s asking too much. A couple of other random thoughts from that movie. 1) When Hollywood is done with you, they’re done with you. Just ask Steve Martin. Poor guy. 2) It’s too bad Hilary Duff sold out and went on the Coke (not the soda) and Red Bull diet with the rest of the Hollywood teeny-boppers. She had a great figure once, and now she’s a stick. But did anybody catch her sister’s photo spread in this month’s issue of Maxim? I know they air-brush those things to death, but, I must confess, that messed up little nose she has just does it for me. I don’t know why. 3) Can we please chill with the American Pie Movies? One was a scream, two was okay, three was pushing it. Now there’s a fourth. And the aforementioned Levy’s been in all of them, including this latest straight-to-DVD gem. Levy, what a doofus. How’d he luck into this role? I know Carmen Electra has no acting career to speak of, but, one must wonder, was she that desperate?

10. The NYC transit strike of ‘05 has officially taken its place alongside the Baseball Umpires Strike, and the Air Traffic Controllers strike, as one of the worst job actions in American history.

What a complete disaster this turned out to be. As a reward for striking three days (and, under NYC law, losing six days salary), NYC transit workers got an extra .4% in wages over the next three years. But now, they are forced to pay 2% of their salary annually into their healthcare coverage, something that was not on the table when the strike was called. The math works out horribly for the transit workers, when you factor in the pay that they lost because of the strike. And yet these fools, when interviewed on the news last night, were thrilled with what they got. Good. They deserved it, for blindly following their clueless leadership.

11. Based on this first part of the competition, I am not the “Next Great Sportswriter” presented by McDonald’s (McDonald’s: I’m lovin’ it!)

Okay, my last blog entry before the judges come down with their decision, it’s time for a direct appeal. Guys, if you’re reading this, I honestly don’t believe I’m the top dog so far. My stuff hasn’t been quite as imaginative as some of the others. But I don’t feel that I deserve to be eliminated yet either. I think I would absolutely excel in the next part of the competition, in which we are given strict assignments. I believe that I could do more within the parameters of an assignment than some of the others. The thing that I’ve brought to the table so far in this contest is consistency. I’ve, save for Monday, kept all of my self-imposed deadlines. And I don’t think I’ve thrown in any complete clunkers, yet. My best hasn’t been as good as the best stuff on here, but my worst, I feel, isn’t all that bad in comparison to some of the others. I feel that I’ve shown some nice versatility, mixing in some short pieces in with the longer ones. I plan to do this for a living one day, whether I win in this competition or not. Even if I don’t go all the way, it’d be nice to put something like a high finish in this competition on my resume. Many thanks for your consideration; Peter, Tom, and Chris. And I appreciate the opportunity very much. Good luck with your decision, I know it’s not an easy one.

12. As a culture, we should be proud of ourselves for…caring.

I’m sick of knocking our society every week; I thought I’d end this edition of the dozen with something positive, for a change. I think that we should be proud of ourselves for questioning the powers that be in this country. It’s important that we care about things like the painfully slow response to Hurricane Katrina. It’s important that we call out those in charge to answer for certain things, like a war started on the basis of faulty intelligence. We voted in higher numbers than ever before in the 2004 election, and that shows the rest of the world that at least we care. For this, we should be proud of ourselves.