Sisko's Prophecies
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Rebels in Sports
Jun 20, 2007 | 10:45PM | report this

Here's my list:

  1. Michael Vick is speaking out against the anti-dog fighting crowd. Someday they'll come around and fight dogs like everyone else.
  2. Pac-Man Jones is speaking out against laws in general. Who's got time to earn millions of dollars when there is anarchy waiting to be created?
  3. Kobe Bryant is rebelling against adulthood. Who needs it? Just act like a child every day and you'll never feel old.
  4. Jason Giambi is speaking up about doing certain things that you shouldn't do. Things that are bad and can't be named. You know..."that stuff".
  5. Michelle Wie is rebelling against sexism in golf. Women deserve to play on the same tour as men. Isn't it obvious with her domination of the women's tour that she deserves...errrrr...wait a sec...
  6. Sports media has taken a stand against any sport that is not football. Basketball and hockey? Borrrrriinnnnnnnnggggg. Baseball? Tainted with steroids! We can’t trust these stats! Football? Look at all these awesome sacks by Shawne Merriman! He’s got my pro-bowl vote!
  7. Anderson Varejao has dispelled the myth that athletes cannot be good actors too.
  8. J.R. Smith has rebelled against seat-belts and stop signs. Too soon?
  9. Vince Young has proven to the sports world that you don’t have to be “Smarter Than a 5th Grader” to make it as an NFL quarterback. When did football fans believe that NFL players were intelligent to begin with? When Houston passed on Young on draft day, he could be heard mumbling under his breath, “Wonderlic my balls”.
  10. Barbaro, the horse that won hearts all over the country, has ended the tradition of putting a horse down when it severely breaks it’s leg. Instead, the common practice will now be to keep the horse alive as long as possible, no matter how much pain it is in, and harvest as much sperm as you can before it dies. Here’s the equation:

     Fast Horse’s Sperm  >  Horse Ethics


  11. Speaking of Barbaro, Chad Johnson has proven that humans can beat horses in a foot-race. (That is, of course, if the human in question gets a wicked long head start). So while Ali was fighting the government during Vietnam, who was out there racing the quadrupeds? Who, I ask you!
13 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NFL, MLB, NBA, Michael Vick, Adam Jones, Kobe Bryant, Jason Giambi, Shawne Merriman, Anderson Varejao, Vince Young, Barbaro, Chad Johnson
 
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jaysisko
This blogger is a New Yorker, born and raised. I'm a huge sports fan, following pretty much every major sport out there. Sadly, this does not include hockey, NASCAR, or boxing. Hockey lost my affection during the lockout, NASCAR is not a sport, and boxing has become incredibly boring since the dawn of MMA. If you want to talk football, baseball, basketball, or MMA, then I'm your man. I could also debate NASCAR with anyone, but we would probably end up just going around in circles...
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