Sick of those chippy kids coming out hand-in-hand with players before the game? Think the goal should be bigger? Want games to start with a cannon firing a ball into play? Soccer is a great game but it definitely could use some rule changes. Here are 10 rule changes, 5 that could happen and 5 that probably won’t see the light of day.


Five Rules that Could Be Implemented...

1) Goal-line Sensors (within the next 4 years)
Big games are too important to be decided by bad calls. Get those computer chips in the balls, the two sensors on the goal posts and let’s get it right. There is no reason in 2006 to still have a ref, huffing it down the pitch, standing 30 yards away and guessing if the ball inched across the line or not.

2) Shallow Water, No Diving (possibly within the next few years)
I’m sick of all this “Joga Bonita” BS from a guy who is famous for flying off the pitch and Kung-fu kicking a fan. The problem isn’t players not “playing beautiful”, it’s divas diving left and right. Regardless if it’s caught during the game or in a replay after: if you dive it's a yellow, in the box, a red.

3) Offsides Sensors (likely in about 12 years)
As complicated as this might initially sound, it takes about the same amount of technology as you’ll find in an average department store. Sticking sensors on the heel of each boot (that would weigh ounces and cost cents) as well as two large ones on each side at the half-line to triangulate location, you could have a permanent fix if players are in an offsides position. Using the chips inside the ball you can determine when a ball is passed as well. Result: never have a disputed offsides again.

4) No Sleeves Required (likely whenever Sepp Blatter is dethroned)
After the fiasco in 2002 when the FIFA suits came down on Cameroon for their kits, similar sleeveless shirts have popped up across training pitches everywhere. Players now days are built. Any reservations people have about soccer players being weak could be tossed aside.

5) Fourth Sub in Extra Time (possibly within the next few years)
This rule change is pretty explanatory. Gift teams an extra sub in extra time. This would pick up the pace and new legs could turn in a game-winning goal and avoid PKs.


...and Five Changes That Will Never Happen

1) Reduce the amount of players from 11 to 10
Scores are low and teams are parking men in front of the goal. Less men equals more room, more opportunities on goal and less blocked shots. Also, with only nine men using their feet, teams will most likely adapt to a 3-3-3 formation giving players clear sections of the field to cover as well as setting up juicy man on man match ups across the field.

2) Out-of-Bounds on Contact
This rule would basically change the out-of-bounds rule so that players could curve the ball out and back into play as along as the ball stays airborne. Corners could now banana out and then back into play and passes down the sidelines could curve out over the crowd. This would bring the game closer to the fans and decrease stoppage.

3) Fans Keep the Ball
One of the best things about attending a baseball game is leaving the park with an extra souvenir. Adapting this to soccer, any ball launched into the stands now belongs to the supporter who nabs it.

5) Timeouts
Now before you complain that it’s a game of stamina realize that timeouts are essentially already a part of the game with players dropping on the pitch and rolling in “pain” to give the other guys a rest. Give each team one time out that can be used after the first 10 minutes and before the last 10 minutes of each half. Coaches can take a minute to regroup, TV stations can take a commercial break, and ESPN commentators can breath, possibly getting some oxygen into their brains.

4) Move Penalty Kicks Back & Let the Goalie Off the Line
The drama during penalty kicks is if the taker's nerves will crack; even I could chip a ball in the corner from 15 yards out. Push the spot back to the top of the box and allow the players to dribble toward the goal if they want. Let goalies off the line and defenders into the box as soon as contact is made with the ball. This would open up the options and drama of penalty kicks. For shoot-outs the ball needs to be cleared from the box.


Have any ideas for rule changes? Think mine are retarded? Shoot me a comment.