There's a buzz all over America, ever increasing in volume, reminding us that the NFL will be here soon. Right now the 2008 season is a clean slate and the possibilities are endless. Will your team make the NFL Playoffs this year? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they won't, and here's why:

AFC East:

Buffalo Bills. Their defense stinks, their offense stinks, and they only won seven games last year because of luck and good special teams play. There'll be frozen tears in Buffalo this winter.

Miami Dolphins. They were the worst team in the NFL last year and then they got rid of Jason Taylor. Perhaps this year they can achieve the goal that eluded them last year: an alldefeated season.

New England Patriots. It takes a lot of hard work to go undefeated during the regular season. Judging by their preseason the Patriots are still worn out both mentally and physically and age is starting to creep up on them. After being the victims of the biggest upset in Super Bowl history they're ready to be the biggest disappointment in regular season history.

New York Jets. Q: Why did the Packers want to get rid of Brett Favre? A: Because he's old and thinks the NFL revolves around him. The Jets were the only suckers who wanted to deal with his drama, and it will be the downfall of the kelly green. The Madden curse lives on!

AFC North:

Baltimore Ravens. They were awful last year and then Jonathan Ogden retired. With an aging defense and an inexperienced offensive line the Ravens have no chance of playing past December.

Cincinnati Bengals. They brought back problem child Chris Henry and their star receiver is forcing everyone to call him by the digits of his jersey number in Spanish. They'll be lucky if they get through a single down without some sort of distraction coming up.

Cleveland Browns. The Browns tried to improve their run defense with a tackle from Detroit, another team that was weak against the run. Real smart, boys. The Dawg Pound is going to be walking home with their tails between their legs an awful lot this season.

Pittsburgh Steelers. The loss of Alan Faneca is a huge blow to their offensive line. Ben Roethlisberger and Willie Parker won't have the same success as last year without proper blocking. Better get used to losing to the Browns, Steeler fans.

AFC South:

Houston Texans. They may have had the best season in their short history last year, but they still finished in last place. Their division is just too stacked. The Texans' only hope for contention is realignment.

Jacksonville Jaguars. Matt Jones' very presence on the team is a distraction. He was arrested for cocaine possession in July and doesn't even know his team's playbook. The fact that they keep him around tells you that this organization doesn't care about winning. The mediocre season turned in by the Jaguars will only hasten their move to a new city.

Indianapolis Colts. Marvin Harrison won't be the same after last year's injury and the O-line will struggle early on without Jeff Saturday. By the time the Colts are all on the same page it'll be too late to think postseason. At least Peyton Manning has a dad he can talk to about it, since Archie was well-acquainted with missing the Playoffs.

Tennessee Titans. The Titans' offense depends too much on Vince Young. This will be his third NFL season, and teams are learning how to neutralize him. Once he's out of the equation the Titans will be out of the Playoff picture.

AFC West:

Denver Broncos. They let Jason Elam, one of the best kickers in the game, sign with the Falcons. Elam made the Broncos a pretty consistent team during his time in Denver, but without him they'll be struggling to win six games. The only thing in Denver thinner than the air is the Broncos' depth chart.

Kansas City Chiefs. Larry Johnson is nothing without Will Shields. Jared Allen is now playing in Minnesota. Tony Gonzalez is on the wrong side of 30. Their long snapper is French Canadian. The Chiefs are going to be terrible.

Oakland Raiders. Their owner is senile and they strengthened a weak defense by adding some overrated players. Commitment to excellence? Excuse me while I scoff.

San Diego Chargers. Their coach is Norv Turner. This team had the talent to win more than 11 games last year, but ol' Norv found a way for them to underachieve. The farther in the past Marty Schottenheimer gets the worse the Chargers will get. The only successful Bolt that will come out of 2008 is Usain.

NFC East:

Dallas Cowboys. Terrell Owens is like a time bomb. Sooner or later he always becomes a distraction that's too big for the rest of the team to overcome. With malcontents like Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson in the mix these Cowboys are on the verge of sel####estruction. America's Team might have to apply for a new country after they bring shame to this one.

New York Giants. Their defensive line was one of their biggest strengths and then they lost Michael Strahan to retirement and Osi Umenyiora to injury. They got lucky last year, but without the pass rush it's not going to happen again. The 2008 Giants will have a lot in common with the 2006 Steelers.

Philadelphia Eagles. They have lots of talent, but it's not enough in this division. Brian Westbrook's numbers will suffer without Thomas Tapeh and Donovan McNabb's annual injury will keep the Eagles from soaring. The Philadelphia players might as well prepare to be booed now.

Washington Redskins. Last time Joe Gibbs left the Redskins it was seven years before they made another Playoff appearance. Jim Zorn will be this decade's Richie Petitbon.

NFC North:

Chicago Bears. Of all the quarterbacks on their roster they decided the best was a guy who'd completed 52% of his career passes. Their defense looks good on paper, but you know it's only a matter of time before half those guys get injured. Even Bill Swerski's Superfans don't think this team has a chance.

Detroit Lions. Matt Millen is still the general manager. That's all you need to know.

Green Bay Packers. Q: Why did the Packers want to get rid of Brett Favre? A: Because they're idiots. Aaron Rodgers will never be half the quarterback Favre was, and the Packers will get their comeuppance for disrespecting him when they flop this year. Remember Packer football between the Vince Lombardi and Ron Wolf eras? Yeah, it'll be kind of like that.

Minnesota Vikings. Tarvaris Jackson isn't much of a passer and Bryant McKinnie's suspension won't help matters. Adrian Peterson had a great rookie year, but without Tony Richardson blocking for him a sophomore slump is all but certain. Failure, thy color is purple.

NFC South:

Atlanta Falcons. This team is bad on both sides of the ball. Their starting quarterback is a rookie who wasn't very good in preseason. As long as Michael Vick is still on the Falcons' roster they'll be cursed by the spirits of his dead pit bulls.

Carolina Panthers. Every year it's the same old story. Everyone expects the Panthers to be good and they end up being mediocre. This year won't be any different. Last year it was Julius Peppers who mysteriously started playing poorly. Any bets on who it'll be this year?

New Orleans Saints. Their pass defense is one of the worst in the NFL, and their explosive offense isn't enough to offset it. If Jeremy Shockey's act wasn't appreciated in a city known for its rudeness it certainly won't be appreciated in laid-back bayou country. The Louisiana Superdome will be the only super thing related to the Saints.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They have too many quarterbacks, their wide receivers are as old as dirt and Jon Gruden has a hard time putting together two straight winning seasons. A lot of things went right for the Buccaneers last year, but there's no way they'll have the same luck this year. Hopefully the Rays' incredible season will be enough for the residents of middle Florida.

NFC West:

Arizona Cardinals. Anquan Boldin isn't happy, and we all know that nothing kills an NFL team quicker than an unhappy wide receiver. We expect the Cardinals to surprise us every year, but it never happens. Losing is the Bidwill family's specialty.

San Francisco 49ers. They had the worst passing game in the NFL last year and think journeyman J.T. O'Sullivan will solve that problem? Sorry Niner fans, but the days of Eddie DeBartolo circumventing the salary cap are long gone.

Seattle Seahawks. They had Shaun Alexander and replaced him with...Julius Jones? Yeah, there's an upgrade. It's always a shame when a good offensive line goes to waste. The Seahawks have too many injuries and suspensions right now to think of contending this year. The city of Seattle needs something to be happy about after losing the Sonics, but this team won't be it.

St. Louis Rams. Marc Bulger is good when healthy, but that's virtually never these days. Trent Green is a solid backup, but the Rams have shown that they only make the Playoffs when he's on the bench or the injured list. Translation: The Rams are doomed.

To sum things up, Week 17 is the end of the line. When the Playoffs get here you're going to have to find someone new to root for. You'll begin to dread Sundays, because your team will find new ways to frustrate you each week. But hey, keep your head up. At least you'll be getting a good draft pick.

There's a buzz all over America, ever increasing in volume, reminding us that the NFL will be here soon. Right now the 2008 season is a clean slate and the possibilities are endless. Will your team make the NFL Playoffs this year? You bet they will, and here's why:

AFC East:

Buffalo Bills. After two straight 7-9 seasons this team is ready to get over the hump with a promising young quarterback and running back. Few sights in sports are as beautiful as Playoff football in the snow, and the Bills will make sure we see it this year.

Miami Dolphins. The last time Bill Parcells took over a 1-15 team they had a winning record in his first season. Now that the Tuna is more experienced and doesn't have the added stress of being head coach he can sit back, relax and make the Dolphins a Playoff team.

New England Patriots. They went undefeated last year and this year have an easier schedule. Making the Playoffs is the least they could do.

New York Jets. Two words: Brett Favre. Favre is the ultimate warrior, the greatest quarterback of all time and singlehandedly wins football games. He doesn't even need teammates. Heck, if anything, teammates hold him back. If he played by himself he'd win the Super Bowl every year. Don't believe me? Ask John Madden.

AFC North:

Baltimore Ravens. With Lorenzo Neal blocking for him Willis McGahee is going to run wild all over AFC North defenses. Throw in the good special teams and a defense full of veterans and you have yourself a team no one will want to play come January.

Cincinnati Bengals. Carson Palmer tied for the league lead in interceptions thrown last year. You know who else throws a lot of interceptions? Brett Favre. You know what Brett Favre does? Win. Fear the tiger!

Cleveland Browns. They have an incredible offense that'll only be better this year as they develop more chemistry. The Browns would've made the Playoffs last year if Tony Dungy hadn't rested his starters during the final week, so you can bet that they're hungry to get what they deserve this year. The Dawg Pound is going to be wagging their tails an awful lot this season.

Pittsburgh Steelers. Last year both their offense and defense were in the NFL's top 10, and they've kept most of the core together on both sides. The Steelers have this division so locked up they'd have to try pretty hard to lose it.

AFC South:

Houston Texans. With a promising young front seven, a solid passing game and Alex Gibbs helping coach their offensive line the Texans are ready to sneak up on everyone. It's been 15 years since Houston last fielded an NFL Playoff team, but this is the year that streak ends.

Jacksonville Jaguars. They have one of the most efficient offenses in football and two great running backs. They stayed with the Patriots for an entire half before losing last year in the Playoffs, and now the Jaguars are looking for a rematch. Since the Patriots aren't on their regular season schedule it'd have to come in the postseason. The question isn't whether there'll be one, but in which round.

Indianapolis Colts. Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy are back together for another year. Part of that duo's job description is "make the Playoffs," and so far they've gotten good employee evaluations each year they've been together. The Colts are going to cruise into the postseason like they always do.

Tennessee Titans. He led Texas to a championship in college and last year Vince Young led the Titans to the Playoffs. Not only is he a winner, but his team has improved. Alge Crumpler had his best years catching passes for a running quarterback and Jevon Kearse had his best years when he played in Tennessee previously. All that guarantees that the Titans' Playoff-qualifying ways will continue.

AFC West:

Denver Broncos. In Jay Cutler the Broncos have a starting quarterback with a single-digit uniform number. Who was the last one? None other than John Elway. Elway led the Broncos to the Playoffs in his second year as primary starter, and this will be Cutler's second year as primary starter. What does that mean? It means the Playoffs will be played a mile above sea level this year.

Kansas City Chiefs. First David Cook wins "American Idol". Then the Sonics move to Oklahoma City, making them the closest-based NBA team since the Kings called K.C. home. Then the Royals actually flirt with fourth place until August. Clearly this is an "up" year for Kansas City, and the Chiefs will continue that trend.

Oakland Raiders. Gibril Wilson. Javon Walker. DeAngelo Hall. Darren McFadden. All got long-term deals from the Raiders this offseason, all are good-to-great players. Commitment to excellence? You know it. The silver and black is legit and ready to intimidate opponents like in the old days.

San Diego Chargers. Does this team have a weakness? They have the best running back in the game, one of the top two tight ends in the game, a good quarterback, a great defense and solid wide receivers. Shoot, even their special teams are among the NFL's best. I doubt there's one person out there who could give a good reason why this team won't be playing in early 2009.

NFC East:

Dallas Cowboys. Their quarterback is dating Jessica Simpson. Does Jessica Simpson go out with guys who don't make the Playoffs? Didn't think so. America's Team practically has a Playoff spot locked up already.

New York Giants. They may have lost several starters, but no one thought they had a chance going into the Playoffs last year either. These Giants know how to win when it matters most, and Big Blue will keep the Big Apple smiling.

Philadelphia Eagles. They have not one, not two, but three good cornerbacks on this team. Their pass coverage is going to be sick. They're not too shabby against the run either, and with a decent offense the Eagles have their usual formula for success in place. This team will be so busy winning their division they won't notice the flying batteries.

Washington Redskins. In 1986 the Giants won their first Super Bowl. In 1987 the Redskins won it. In 1990 the Giants won their second Super Bowl. In 1991 the Redskins won it. Last year the Giants won their third Super Bowl. Seeing a pattern here?

NFC North:

Chicago Bears. They went with a proven winner at quarterback in Kyle Orton and got rid of a disappointing distraction in Cedric Benson. Throw in a healthy defense and the "Monsters of the Midway" moniker should be back in circulation by Playoff time.

Detroit Lions. Did you see their preseason record? 4-0, baby! Even though the Lions faded in the second half last year they're more focused on playing well all season this time. With four good wide receivers on the roster Jon Kitna's passes will find their way to the end zone like they had GPS navigation. Rod Marinelli will be the first Lions coach since Bobby Ross, another military man, to lead them to the Playoffs.

Green Bay Packers. They made it to the NFC Championship Game last year and then unloaded some dead weight by trading the King of Crucial Moment Picks. With a solid supporting cast the transition to Aaron Rodgers will be seamless. The Pack is back for real this time. Sport the curdled milk proudly, Wisconsinites!

Minnesota Vikings. Their killer rushing attack is the best in the NFL, they've added Bernard Berrian at wide receiver and both their lines are great. Their NFC North competitors all have questions, but the Vikings only have answers. For instance, Q: Are the Vikings a Playoff team this year? A: Ah, yeah.

NFC South:

Atlanta Falcons. Their quarterback is rookie Matt Ryan, who was drafted out of Boston College. As we all know, Boston is the city that produces champions in every sport and is the center of the entire universe according to their fans. Ryan and his New England mystique can't not lead the Falcons to the Playoffs.

Carolina Panthers. John Fox's job is on the line, so you know his players are going to play a little harder in order to save it. With a healthy Jake Delhomme back in the saddle and Julius Peppers ready to redeem himself after a poor 2007 the Panthers shouldn't have any problems running roughshod over the competition. Their coach will definitely be back next year.

New Orleans Saints. They had an incredible offense last year and added a former Pro Bowl tight end. They were decent against the run last year and added a former Pro Bowl middle linebacker. The Saints know what they're good at and stick with it. That type of commitment will get them into the Playoffs for sure.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They've got a Pro Bowl quarterback and a great defense. Doesn't that combination pretty much guarantee at least a Wild Card berth?

NFC West:

Arizona Cardinals. As part of the Bill Cowher coaching tree Ken Whisenhunt knows how to win. In his first year as an NFL head coach he led the Cardinals to a non-losing season for the first time since 1998. This year he leads them to double-digit victories for the first time since 1976. These Cardinals are young, exciting and Playoff-bound.

San Francisco 49ers. The 49er Faithful know that they root for the best NFL franchise ever. The 49ers know what it takes to win, and any move they make will eventually prove to be the right one. They already have arguably the best punter-kicker duo in the league, and with Frank Gore tearing it up out of the backfield no one will be arguing their title as best ever after this season.

Seattle Seahawks. They've made the Playoffs the last five years, and there's no reason to think they won't this year. With Mike Holmgren, Matt Hasselbeck, a good offensive line and a talented defense, no one else in their division can compare.

St. Louis Rams. Steven Jackson finally got the contract he wanted and Marc Bulger is finally back from injury. Those two guys combined with an average defense are enough to make the Rams a Playoff team. The Greatest Show on Turf Part II is ready and raring to go.

To sum things up, you're going to see your team play more than the usual 16 games this season. They'll be one of the twelve that gets a spot in that special tournament that ends at the Super Bowl. Sunday will be the most anticipated day of the week for the next four months, because you won't be able to wait for the next exciting moment your team has in store. Savor every minute, because it doesn't get any better than this.

What's this? A Super Bowl post in late July? You got it. I know the races are heating up in baseball and the trade deadline just passed, but when I come up with an idea for a post I have to run with it while I'm inspired.

Few men have received the honor of being in the winning team's starting Super Bowl lineup. Many who have can rightfully be considered among the greatest players in NFL history, but what about the other end of the spectrum? If you were to rank all the players in that category someone would have to show up at the bottom. Who are some of these players though? I got curious and decided to find out for myself. Now that my research is complete, I can officially release my All-Weakest Super Bowl-Winning Starter Team (just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?).

It was fairly easy to choose offensive players. Quarterbacks, running backs and receivers have the most complete statistics kept for them, so determining the weakest player wasn't too hard. My criteria for tight ends were slightly different, as there have been a few tight ends who started the Super Bowl primarily as blockers in a two-tight end formation. I decided to consider those players "H-backs" rather than true tight ends, because their role in the offense didn't reflect the spirit of this list. Offensive linemen and defensive players are harder to evaluate by numbers alone, so the main things I looked at were length of career, years as a starter and number of Pro Bowls. Things like sacks and interceptions are also factored in for the defensive players. Even though they don't technically "start" the game I included kickers and punters too. Since the numbers at those positions have changed significantly over the years I had to use league averages to evaluate them. Of course, I also tried to find any additional information I could to determine if a player may have been better or worse than the numbers suggest.

You might ask what the point of this list is. Am I just trying to tear down these guys? Far from it! Many of the players on this list had productive careers and played their roles well despite not being great individual talents. The beauty of team sports is that they allow athletes of all different skill sets and ability levels to work in harmony together for a common goal. My purpose here is to celebrate the little guys. They may not have been stars, but their teams might not have won without them. People should know who they are.

Now that that's been said, let's have a look at the roster.

Offense

Quarterback: Trent Dilfer, 2000 Baltimore Ravens

When the question of "worst quarterback to win a Super Bowl" arises Dilfer is the first name most people think of. When I went to check the numbers I found out that Chase Stuart from pro-football-reference.com already did the math for me. Perhaps not surprisingly, he came up with Dilfer as having had the worst career of any Super Bowl-winning QB. When someone who devised an advanced statistic for figuring out an approximate career value for NFL players says Dilfer was the worst and popular opinion backs him up I think it's safe to give ol' Trent this spot.

Dilfer was originally taken by the Buccaneers with the 6th overall pick in the 1994 Draft. Like most young quarterbacks, it took a few years of growing pains before he finally found his NFL footing. In 1997 he led the Bucs to their first Playoff appearance in 15 seasons and earned himself a Pro Bowl selection. A broken collarbone in 1999 ended his season, and he could only watch as the Buccaneers made it to the NFC Championship Game behind rookie quarterback Shaun King. Tampa Bay let him go to the Ravens as a free agent that offseason. In his only year in Baltimore he took over as starter mid-season and rode the Ravens' incredible defense to a Super Bowl win while leading a conservative-but-adequate offense.

Dilfer's later stops included Seattle, Cleveland and San Francisco. Though he never became the franchise quarterback he was expected to be, he managed to be an effective "caretaker" during his 14 years as both a backup and a starter. He retired earlier this month with career numbers of 20,518 passing yards, 113 touchdown passes, 129 interceptions and a 55.5 completion percentage. Upon his retirement he joined ESPN as an NFL analyst.

Tailback: Timmy Smith, 1987 Washington Redskins

Smith rushed for only 126 yards in seven games during his rookie year, but an injury to George Rogers earned him the starting nod when the Redskins made it to the Super Bowl. On a night when everything went right for Washington, Smith set a still-standing Super Bowl record with 204 rushing yards. In one evening the youngster went from obscurity to the limelight. With the opportunity to be a starter next year, he allowed himself to become overweight and rushed for only 470 yards in 14 games. The Redskins cut ties with him during the 1989 offseason and he failed to make the Chargers' roster that same year.

He attempted a comeback with the Cowboys in 1990, but he was waived after only one game. He finished his career with 602 rushing yards and 3.2 yards per rushing attempt over three seasons. He recently served a two-year jail sentence for selling cocaine to an undercover police officer.

Fullback: Tom Nowatzke, 1970 Baltimore Colts

Nowatzke didn't have much speed, but he was a tough, reliable power runner. An All-American at Indiana, he was drafted in the first round of both the AFL and NFL Drafts in 1965 and opted to sign with the Lions. He didn't become a regular until his second year, but he led that 1966 team in rushing yards and was second in receptions. Nowatzke's playing time decreased over the next few seasons, mainly due to the emergence of speedier backs like Mel Farr. In 1969 the Lions attempted to move Nowatzke to linebacker, but he sustained a neck injury in training camp that limited him to special teams duty most of the year. In next season's training camp the Lions waived him.

The Colts immediately picked up Nowatzke, and Baltimore's grind-it-out running game was perfect for his style. He worked his way into the starting lineup and led all Colt running backs with 3.4 yards per attempt that year. He later delivered a heroic Super Bowl moment when he scored the game-tying touchdown halfway through the 4th Quarter. The Colts would go on to win. Nowatzke's role would be diminished over the next two seasons, and he played his last NFL game in 1972. Over eight seasons he played in 96 games, with totals of 1,249 rushing yards and 605 receiving yards.

Left Wide Receiver: Alvin Garrett, 1982 Washington Redskins

Garrett was a small guy, standing only 5'7" and weighing only 178 lbs. He started his career with the Giants in 1980 and was primarily used as a return man. He was waived by the Giants and picked up by the Redskins during the 1981 season. In Washington he teamed with fellow sub-6-footers Charlie Brown and Virgil Seay to form a receiving corps known as the "Smurfs". Garrett was pressed into starting duty when star wide receiver Art Monk went down with an injury before the Playoffs. Though he had caught only six passes in his entire career up to that point, Garrett surprised everyone by scoring three touchdowns on 110 yards in the first round against the Lions. His solid play continued for the rest of the Playoffs as the Redskins eventually captured the Lombardi Trophy.

Garrett was the center of controversy next season when Howard Cosell referred to Garrett, who is black, as a "little ####" during a "Monday Night Football" telecast. Cosell said he meant it in an affectionate way, and Garrett himself said he wasn't offended by it, but the remark stuck with Cosell for the rest of his life.

Garrett never played again after sustaining an ankle injury in 1984. His five-year career totals were 412 receiving yards, two touchdowns, 12.9 yards per reception, 8.0 yards per punt return and 20.3 yards per kick return.

Right Wide Receiver: Stacy Robinson, 1986 New York Giants

Speedy Division II star Robinson missed most of his rookie year because of a broken hand, but he started most of his sophomore season, when he had a career-best 494 receiving yards. That year was 1986, when the Giants won their first Super Bowl. Robinson didn't have any receptions in the Divisional Playoff or NFC Championship Games, but he led the Giants with 62 receiving yards in the Super Bowl. He began the next season as a starter but went down with an injury after five games. The next three seasons would be a roller coaster ride, as the Giants waived him in training camp and re-signed him mid-season due to an injured receiver each time.

Robinson won a second Super Bowl ring with the Giants as a reserve on the 1990 team. He retired after that rather than go through the revolving door again. He finished his six-year career with 48 receptions for 749 yards in 43 games, 14 of which he started. Since 1995 he has served as the NFL Player Association's Director of Player Development.

Tight End: John Frank, 1988 San Francisco 49ers

Frank started his career in 1984 playing behind star tight end Russ Francis. He was impressive on special teams his rookie year and earned a reputation for aggressive blocking and all-around toughness. The 49ers groomed him to become their eventual starter, but he struggled with inconsistency and a tendency to draw penalties for his first few years. Halfway through the 1987 season Francis was waived and Frank finally got his chance to shine.

In April 1989, fresh off a Super Bowl win and at the peak of his production, Frank announced his retirement from the NFL after five years to focus on medical school. His career numbers include 662 receiving yards and 10.2 yards per reception. He earned his medical degree from Ohio State in 1992 and is currently a cosmetic surgeon.

Left Tackle: Dan Audick, 1981 San Francisco 49ers

Audick was a guard who played for both the Cardinals and Chargers before the 49ers acquired him in the 1981 preseason. Because of a hole at left tackle, Audick started all 16 games there in 1981. Audick wasn't a long-term solution due to his lack of size, but he gave it a strong effort and helped the upstart 49ers win the Super Bowl. He lost his starting job next season, and in 1983 he returned to the Cardinals, where he spent the last two years of his career.

Over eight NFL seasons Audick played in 76 games, starting 33 of them. After football Audick returned to school, receiving an MBA from San Diego State in 1986, a Master's in Organizational Management from the University of Phoenix in 1996 and a Doctorate of Education in Human Performance from USC in 2004.

Left Guard: Russ Hochstein, 2003 New England Patriots

Hochstein was drafted by the Buccaneers in 2001, but he spent his would-be rookie year on injured reserve and only played one game for them in 2002 before being waived. In 2003 he made the Patriots' roster as a full-time backup and moved into the starting lineup during the Playoffs after an injury to Damien Woody. He stayed there all the way through the Patriots' Super Bowl victory and would get a second Super Bowl ring when the Patriots repeated next year.

Though Hochstein has never been a full-time starter, he has proved to be a valuable and versatile reserve for the Patriots over the years. He has lined up at fullback, tight end and every offensive line position in addition to contributing on special teams. In 2005 he gained notoriety as one of the five "metaphors" in a national Visa commercial with his famous line "Why can't I be the director?" Through six seasons so far he's played in 77 games and started 18 of them.

Center: Mike Gruttadauria, 1999 St. Louis Rams

Undrafted out of college and cut by the Cowboys in the 1995 preseason, the undersized Gruttadauria beat out veteran center Bern Brostek for the Rams' starting job in 1996. Brostek reclaimed his starting center spot when Gruttadauria was injured early in the season, but Gruttadauria would start on and off (while still battling injuries) the next few years, earning the job permanently in time for the Rams' surprising 1999 season. The Cardinals signed him to a four-year deal the offseason after that, and his injury struggles would continue in Arizona. His first season in the desert ended after eight games due to a career-threatening neck injury, but Gruttadauria fought back to start 15 games next year. After another injury-shortened season in 2002 the Cardinals released Gruttadauria, closing the book on his career.

Gruttadauria was blessed with exceptional artistic abilities and has devoted his post-football career to sculpting. Overall, he played 81 NFL games in seven seasons, starting 67 of them.

Right Guard: Bruce Collie, 1989 San Francisco 49ers

Collie was one of two 49er draft picks to make the team in 1985, the other being Jerry Rice. He was versatile enough to play both tackle and guard, but he constantly had to compete for a starting spot with San Francisco. In 1989 he started a career-high 15 games and the 49ers won the Super Bowl, but he was waived during the next preseason. The Eagles picked him up and he saw time mostly as a backup during his first year with Philadelphia. He moved into the starting lineup for his second year in Philly, but a knee injury would end his season after only five games and signal the end of his career.

Collie was praised for his dedication to weight training while with the 49ers, but he later revealed that he'd used steroids since college. In 1990 he made the decision to stop the partying and drug use that had been a big part of his lifestyle and became a Christian. Today he works in the construction business and as a speaker for former NFL player Bill Glass' Champions For Life ministry. Over his seven-year career he played in 91 games, starting 40.

Right Tackle: Greg Robinson-Randall, 2001 New England Patriots

Robinson-Randall was a training camp surprise at right tackle his rookie year. He appeared to have earned the starting job going into the season opener, but it was given to veteran Grant Williams at the eleventh hour. Robinson-Randall started getting more playing time in December when New England was out of the race, and next season he started all 16 games as the Patriots won their first Super Bowl. He was starting to look like a fixture on the line, but a failed conditioning test lost him his starting job in training camp next year. In November 2002 Robinson-Randall officially dropped the "Robinson" from his name and became simply "Greg Randall". The Patriots traded Randall to the Texans in the 2003 offseason, where he started all 16 games his only year there.

Randall had tryouts with the 49ers, Rams and Browns over the next few years, but he never got into a regular-season game for any of them. In 2006 he failed to make the roster of the CFL's Hamilton Tiger-Cats. He started 39 of the 51 games he played during his four-year NFL career.


Defense

Left Defensive End: Mat Mendenhall, 1982 Washington Redskins

Mendenhall was drafted by the Redskins in 1980 but spent his rookie year on injured reserve with intestinal problems. He finally made his NFL debut the next year, but injuries limited his effectiveness. He started every game for the Redskins during their Super Bowl-winning season of 1982, but he only played on rushing downs.

In training camp next year Mendenhall found out that he'd lost his starting job to a youngster named Todd Liebenstein. Upon hearing the news Mendenhall walked out of camp and didn't play at all in 1983. He attempted to come back in 1984, but in training camp he was lost for the season because of bone chips in his elbow. Three weeks after being placed on injured reserve he was charged with drunken driving. He never played in the NFL again.

Mendenhall finished his career with one official sack in 23 games, 20 of which he started.

Left Defensive Tackle: Brandon Mitchell, 2001 New England Patriots

The Patriots drafted Mitchell as a defensive end for his quickness and potential as a pash-rusher. He became a starter in his third NFL season, but after the first four years of his career many considered him a disappointment. In 2001 he was moved to defensive tackle, where he succeeded as a run stopper and helped the Patriots win the Super Bowl. Mitchell signed with the Seahawks in the offseason hoping to play defensive end again. His first year in Seattle was plagued by injuries, but he started six games his second year and served as a versatile backup his third.

The Seahawks let Mitchell go after the 2004 season, and his career ended when he failed to make the Falcons' roster in training camp next year. He played 96 NFL games over eight years, starting 45 of them and accumulating 11 sacks.

Right Defensive Tackle: Bob Heinz, 1972, 1973 Miami Dolphins

Heinz earned a full-time starter's job in the middle of his third NFL season, 1971. The Dolphins would make it to their first Super Bowl (and lose) that same season, but Heinz would start in the big game twice more when the Dolphins won Super Bowls the following two years. Though Heinz was the most obscure of the Dolphins' defensive linemen, there are a few odds and ends he's known for. For instance, Heinz was the player replaced by Bob Matheson when the Dolphins went to their famous "53" defense, which in modern terms would be the switch from a 4-3 to a 3-4 formation. More humorously, before Garo Yepremian's now-famous pass attempt in Super Bowl VII the failed kick actually bounced off Heinz' helmet rather than being blocked by a defender, as is commonly believed.

Heinz' last year as a full-time starter was 1974. He lost all of 1975 to injury, then spent two subsequent years with Miami as a backup. He played two games for the Redskins in 1978, his ninth and final NFL season. He started 55 of his 111 career games, recording 10.5 unofficial sacks.

Right Defensive End: Dave Browning, 1980 Oakland Raiders

Browning was a speed-rushing defensive end drafted by the Raiders in the second round in 1978. He started seven games his rookie year, then started every Raider game for the next three seasons, including the Raiders' Super Bowl XV victory. He began 1982 in his usual spot, but he lost his job mid-season to a second-year player named Howie Long. The Raiders traded him to the Buccaneers in the offseason, where he was cut after a month and picked up by the Patriots, for whom he played only one year. He spent his last two seasons in pro football playing for the USFL's Oakland Invaders.

Overall, Browning played 77 NFL games in six seasons, starting 59 of them and registering three official sacks.

Left Linebacker: Reggie Torbor, 2007 New York Giants

I tried to give our most recent champions the benefit of the doubt, since many of them are young and still establishing themselves in the NFL. After four seasons though, I think it's safe to say that Torbor probably won't finish his career as one of the greats.

Torbor was drafted by the Giants for his athleticism and pass-rushing skills, and he was versatile enough to play both defensive end and linebacker. Some expected him to develop into a full-time starter, but he was used mainly as a situational player and special-teamer during his time in New York. He moved into the starting lineup when Giants linebacker Mathias Kiwanuka was injured during the 2007 season. Though he wasn't outstanding, he filled in admirably during the Giants' run to the biggest upset in Super Bowl history.

In March 2008 Torbor signed a four-year deal with the Dolphins. He is once again expected to compete for a starting job. In his 62 career games so far, he has started 18 and recorded five sacks.

Middle Linebacker: Ron Cox, 1996 Green Bay Packers

Cox was an outside linebacker drafted by the Bears in 1990 for his pass-rushing ability. He showed promise early on, but after several trials in the starting lineup he failed to stick there. In 1995 he finally held onto the starting job, but the Bears decided to let him go to the Packers as a free agent in the offseason. The Packers wanted Cox to fill their hole at middle linebacker, a position he was unfamiliar with. His play there in training camp didn't warrant the starting job, so the Packers moved veteran outside linebacker George Koonce into the middle. Cox backed him up all year, and when Koonce was injured in the Playoffs he filled in ably enough to help Green Bay win the Super Bowl.

The Packers released Cox after that season, and he returned to Chicago to play one final year before being released again. He finished his eight-year career with eight sacks in 113 games, 35 of which he started.

Right Linebacker: Loren Toews, 1978 Pittsburgh Steelers

Yes, a member of the famed "Steel Curtain" defense actually made this list. I wasn't expecting it, but right linebacker was a surprisingly strong position.

Toews was an eighth-round draft pick by the Steelers of whom not much was expected, but he made the team with his surprising play in training camp. He was stuck behind seven-time Pro Bowler Andy Russell at right linebacker for his first few years, but he contributed with solid play as a backup and special teamer. Toews made it into the starting lineup after Russell retired, but two years later he lost his starting job to share time with Robin Cole. In 1982 the Steelers switched to a 3-4 defense which allowed Toews to return to the starting lineup full-time as the left inside linebacker. He played there his last two seasons before retiring.

He finished his career with 2.5 official sacks, four interceptions and 149 games played in 11 seasons.

Free Safety: Herb Welch, 1986 New York Giants

Welch was picked in the 12th and final round of the 1985 NFL Draft, but he managed to make the Giants as a versatile backup. He took over as starting free safety near the end of his second year when Terry Kinard went down with an injury, and he held the spot all the way to the Super Bowl. He returned to backup duty next year, but he missed the entire 1988 season with a knee injury. After the Giants waived him he spent his last three NFL seasons with the Redskins and Lions, and he played for the World League of American Football's Sacramento Surge and Barcelona Dragons in 1992.

In six NFL seasons Welch played in 79 games, starting eight and making seven interceptions.

Strong Safety: Billy Jenkins, 1999 St. Louis Rams

Jenkins joined the Rams as an undrafted free agent in 1997, and his strong play on special teams garnered him attention as a rookie. He started at strong safety the next two years, where he was known for his hard hitting, run-stopping and blitzing. The biggest knock on him was weak coverage skills. The Broncos traded for Jenkins the offseason after the Rams' Super Bowl victory and signed him to a seven-year deal, but he could only hold a starting job for one year. In October 2001 the Broncos waived him, and he had stops in Green Bay and Buffalo before his career ended after the 2002 season.

Jenkins played in 91 games over six seasons, starting 48. He finished with eight career interceptions and four career sacks.

Incidentally, I found out in the course of my research that Jenkins and Trent Dilfer had a small feud back in their playing days. Jenkins led several Ram players in taunting the Buccaneers' bench after the 1999 NFC Championship Game, and Dilfer, then a Buc, was involved in the ensuing row. In next year's Playoffs Jenkins (by then a Bronco) was fined $7500 for a helmet-to-helmet hit against Dilfer (by then a Raven). If they were teammates someone might have to keep them separated.

Left Cornerback: Elvis Patterson, 1986 New York Giants

Patterson was an undrafted rookie with the Giants in 1984 when Bill Parcells gave him the nickname "Toast" due to his tendency to get burned on big plays. Despite its unflattering origins, Patterson embraced the nickname because it could be interpreted as "toast of the town" if he played well. In his second season he replaced All-Pro holdout Mark Haynes as the starting left cornerback and led the team with six interceptions. He was challenged by rookie Mark Collins next year, but he kept his starting job when Collins was injured late in the season and ended up making the only interception in that year's Super Bowl. The Giants waived him one game into the 1987 season (allegedly because he spent too much time partying) and he later signed with the Chargers as a replacement player during the strike. He kept the starting job that year after the union players returned.

Patterson signed with the Raiders in 1990 and became a star on special teams. He was named a Pro Bowl alternate in 1991, but he almost didn't return the next year after he bodyslammed assistant coach Jack Stanton in training camp. Head coach Art Shell gave him a second chance, but Patterson's continued behavioral problems eventually got him traded to the Cowboys in the middle of the 1993 season. After he won his second Super Bowl ring that year the Cowboys opted not to re-sign him, and he never played in the NFL again.

Patterson finished his ten-year career with 12 interceptions in 151 games, 44 of which he started.

Right Cornerback: Dwayne O'Steen, 1980 Oakland Raiders

O'Steen began his NFL career with the Rams in 1978. He started 12 games for them in 1979 because of injuries to regular cornerbacks Rod Perry and Pat Thomas, but by the time the Playoffs came around he was back on the bench. The Rams made it to their only Super Bowl of the 1970's that season, eventually losing to the powerhouse Steelers. The Raiders picked him up off the scrap heap that offseason, and he took over as a starter in November when former All-Pro cornerback Monte Jackson struggled. The Raiders would become the first Wild Card team to win the Super Bowl that year. O'Steen went through his own struggles next season, which cost him his starting job and returned it to Jackson.

He bounced around to the Colts, Buccaneers and Packers his last three seasons, mostly playing as a backup and special teamer. In seven NFL seasons O'Steen played 77 games, starting 26 of them and recording eight interceptions. He passed away in 2001.


Special Teams

Kicker: Mike Cofer, 1988, 1989 San Francisco 49ers

The 49ers had some great teams in the 80's, but those back-to-back Super Bowl winners at the end of the decade didn't excel in the special teams category. The misfortune they had to play in windy Candlestick Park surely didn't help their cause.

After being cut as a Saints replacement player during the 1987 strike, Cofer beat out longtime 49ers kicker Ray Wersching in 1988's training camp. He had the best year of his career in 1989, making 80.6% of his field goals and being named to the Pro Bowl. He would struggle the rest of his four seasons in San Francisco before finally being let go after the 1993 season. His final NFL gig was in 1995 with the Colts, who cut him after four games.

He finished his career having made 66.2% of his field goals and 97.1% of his extra point attempts in eight seasons. His career record for most extra points in Super Bowl play was broken by Adam Vinatieri in 2005, and he still shares the record for most in one game with seven. After football he had some moderate success as a NASCAR driver.

Punter: Barry Helton, 1988, 1989 San Francisco 49ers

Like Cofer, Helton had to replace a veteran, Max Runager, his first year in San Francisco. Runager originally opened the 1988 season as the 49ers' punter when Helton struggled under the pressure of training camp, but after an unimpressive showing in Week 1 the 49ers waived Runager and gave Helton the job. Helton performed sufficiently his first two years, but he struggled greatly in 1990. The 49ers kept him on the inactive roster in 1991 before releasing him in October. He caught on briefly with the Rams that season and his career ended when they cut him in training camp next year.

In four seasons Helton punted 213 times for 8,285 yards, an average of 38.9. 52 of his punts landed inside the 20, 21 were touchbacks, 116 were returned and four were blocked. His career net yardage was 31.3. He's still fairly well-known today in his native Colorado. He was the first of four straight University of Colorado punters to be named All-American, with Keith English, Tom Rouen and Mitch Berger following him. In 1995 the Big Eight Conference named him to their all-time team.


Closing Statement

While most of these players currently live in infamy or obscurity, no one can ever take away the special distinction they each hold. It's hard to make it in the NFL, but these guys were just good (or in some cases lucky) enough to have the experience every football player dreams about. They may not ever be immortalized in Canton, but they'll always have a spot on the first All-Weakest Super Bowl-Winning Starter Team. Here's to them.


A special shout-out to my resources:

Pro-Football-Reference.com
The Football Database
San Francisco 49ers: Where Have You Gone? By Matt Maiocco
Google News
Pro Football Researchers Association

As this calendar year winds down I'm starting to reflect on just how much has happened during this year 2007. It seems like such a long time ago now, but I started this blog back in January, and my first post was about how miffed I was that the Chargers were upset by the Patriots in the Playoffs. At that point 2007 was just getting started, and none of us knew what this year held in store for us. Looking back on it all, there were some sports moments in 2007 that I really enjoyed, but just about all of them ended disappointingly.

Let's start with football. I experienced something this year that I never have before: I got to follow my team, the Chicago Bears, from the first game of the season all the way to the Super Bowl. I was surrounded by co-workers who only wanted to talk about the Cowboys and Redskins, but I always stood up for my Bears in football discussions. Once the Playoffs started one of my friends told me that they'd never make it to the Super Bowl with Rex Grossman at quarterback, but the Bears did me proud by proving all the doubters wrong. Unfortunately, the Bears lost to the Colts in the Super Bowl. It wasn't an ideal ending, but the season had been a great ride and there was reason to be hopeful about the future. As it's turned out, the Bears this season have been hurt by injuries and a dismal offense. They're going to finish with a losing record, and it's clear that several changes need to be made if this team is going to return to contention. The best thing you can say about the 2007 Bears was that they beat the Packers twice.

Super Bowl XLI now looks like a missed opportunity that the Bears may not get again for some time, but interestingly enough, it was also the biggest highlight of 2007 for me. I figured if the Bears were going to lose, it might as well be to a team that deserved the title. The Indianapolis Colts were most certainly that. Despite my team's loss, I was happy for the Colts. After having a very good team for so many years they finally got their hands on the Lombardi Trophy, and they did it with class. It was also nice to see the deluded New England fans who liked to say that Peyton Manning would never win the big one and who just couldn't accept the idea that he wasn't a born loser have to eat their words. I'll admit, that part made me feel good too.

In addition to the Bears' struggles, this NFL season has been pretty miserable for me. All five teams I hate (Patriots, Packers, Steelers, Giants and Cowboys) are in the Playoffs. The Patriots are close to going undefeated, but they've had a dark cloud of contempt surrounding them from day one. I'm forced to root for one of those teams I hate in their last game of the season in hopes that the evil Patriots won't pull it off. The Detroit Lions, a true underdog that would've made a great feel-good story, started out the season 6-2 and now could finish with a losing record. The only hope left for lovers of underdog franchises is the Cleveland Browns, who still haven't clinched a Playoff spot. Ultimately though, the only teams that look like they have a realistic shot of winning anything this year are teams whose fanbases have experienced the top of the hill recently enough that they have no underdog appeal. In the end I think it's likely that several of us will be picking a team to root for by figuring out which one we hate the least.

Then there was basketball. As a Bulls fan I was pretty excited when my team swept the defending champion Miami Heat in the first round of the Playoffs. The Heat were treated like a team with some magical formula for stepping up when it counted all season, but the Bulls dispelled that notion in four games. Having followed the Bulls through the post-Jordan years I was proud of those guys. They nearly got swept in the next round by the Pistons, but they hustled their way to two wins before bowing out in Game 6. It would've been nice to see them go farther in the Playoffs, but considering the progress they'd made it was nothing to be ashamed of. Like the Bears, it gave us fans a lot of hope for next season.

We're about two months into "next season" now and things haven't gone as expected. The Bulls have gotten off to slow starts each of the past three seasons, but they've always managed to get it together before too long. This time though, they've stretched out their poor start long enough that Scott Skiles has been fired as head coach and most people already consider this season to be a lost cause. I haven't completely given up on this Bulls team, but I think it's safe to say that even if they do turn things around and make the Playoffs they don't have what it takes to go very far once they get there. It's sad to see a team that started out as a favorite to win the East possibly headed to the draft lottery.

As for the rest of the basketball world, the San Antonio Spurs won their fourth NBA Championship in 2007. The Spurs are one of the most nondescript teams in the NBA. They win championships, but they don't inspire much emotion. The Phoenix Suns, a team that has been on the doorstep of NBA supremacy in recent years, had a chance to beat them in the second round of the Playoffs, but the Spurs ultimately prevailed. It left the Spurs as the only dominant team in the Playoffs and the almost inevitable champion. While I'm not a big LeBron James fan, I was rooting for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA Finals, since they'd never been there and the Spurs had. It wasn't even close, as the Spurs swept. When the Spurs won their first NBA Championship in 1999 it was exciting, as several players got their first rings and no former ABA team had ever even made it to the NBA Finals. Every championship they've won since then has been completely anticlimactic. It's like watching a computer win a chess game against a human opponent. This season the Spurs are again looking like the best in the West, while the team that's stepped it up in the East is the Celtics, from the dreaded city of Boston. Out of nowhere they acquired two All Stars in Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, giving their ever-obnoxious fans something else to boast about. The Pistons and Magic right now are looking like our only hopes not to have to see them in the NBA Finals.

Of course, there was still the greatest game in the world, baseball. 2007 brought me higher hopes than usual in baseball, only to end with me watching them get crushed successively. First there were my Cubs. They hadn't won the World Series since 1908, but all season they showed flashes of brilliance that gave the optimist in me hope the it could finally be "the year." They made the Playoffs with a mediocre 85-77 record, but as the Cardinals had proven the year before, just getting into the Playoffs is the important thing. Once you're in, anything can happen. After the Cubs fought their way into the postseason, it was as if someone suddenly cut off their supply of "heart" just before they faced the Diamondbacks in the Divisional Series. They seemed completely uninspired throughout the series, and the Diamondbacks swept. In a matter of days all the optimism among Cub fans had turned to disgust.

With the Cubs out of the picture, I decided to pull for another team that had been waiting a long time for "the year": the Cleveland Indians. They hadn't won the World Series since 1948, and they had beaten the hated New York Yankees in the first round. Unlike the Cubs, the Indians had tied for their league's best record, and they looked like they had a real shot at winning the World Series. They went up against another evil Boston team, the Red Sox. They managed to take a 3-1 lead in the series despite some struggles from their best starters, and it seemed as if destiny was on their side. Then it all came crashing down. The Red Sox destroyed them in the next three games to win the pennant and deprive the baseball world of a potentially great story. It didn't help that many members of the irksome "Red Sox Nation" showed a complete lack of class in victory.

I was pretty upset about the Indians having their title as AL Champs usurped by that evil team from America's Most Annoying City, but there was still a glimmer of hope going into the World Series. The Colorado Rockies had spent most of the season playing at a level just below contention, but they'd finished on a tear that took them all the way to the NL pennant. They'd won 21 of their last 22 games going into the World Series, and they were the only team in the NL that looked like a legitimate threat against the superior American League. I loved watching their run, as I'd considered the Rockies one of my "side" teams for years. Unfortunately, they were just starting to cool down as the Red Sox were hitting their stride. The Red Sox swept, and for the first time in my life three teams I'd really embraced lost in one postseason.

I suppose the best way to sum up 2007 in sports would be a year that teased me with the hope of great things to come and ended up as a morass of Boston egotism and the same old teams winning. I'm just glad I've started to follow hockey, as it's been my only refuge in the midst of the disastrous sports scene we're currently surrounded by. I just hope 2008 is better than 2007 was. I don't know if I can take two consecutive years like this one.

Over the past several years we've become familiar with a rivalry between the Patriots and Colts that may be one of the best in the NFL. It's no Bears-Packers, but it has many earmarks o####ood rivalry.

At least one side (New England) hates the other with a passion. I'm not sure how much Colts fans hate the Patriots, but since just about every fan in the NFL seems to be developing a hatred for that team from Foxboro, I can assume there is some animosity toward them in Indianapolis. These two teams possess the NFL's two best quarterbacks, and there's still debate over which one is better (well, at least there is to anyone who isn't a Patriots fan). They've been considered the AFC's best two teams just about every year this decade and they've met in the Playoffs three times in the last four seasons, twice with the conference championship on the line. The Patriots have managed to win the Super Bowl three times, and the Colts finally won one of their own last year. Put it all together and you can see why these teams make good rivals.

How old is this rivalry? About five years? Perhaps its current incarnation is a fairly recent thing, but for old-school Nintendo fans, the debate over which of these teams is better dates back to 1991. In those days there was a popular game for the NES called Tecmo Super Bowl. It was the most realistic football game of its time and is beloved by many to this day. It had all the NFL teams and used the rosters from the 1990 season. Kids who spent a lot of time playing it knew which teams to pick. The Oilers, 49ers, Eagles, Giants, Bills, and Raiders were among the cream of the crop. They also knew which teams to avoid. There's little debate among Tecmo fans that the two worst teams in the game were (you guessed it) the Colts and the Patriots.



These two teams were truly miserable, but which one was worse? Most people say the Patriots, but the Colts have some arguments in their favor. Much of it depends on which elements you valued most. Shall we compare them (to each other, not a summer's day)?

Forget Manning and Brady, their starting quarterbacks (Jeff George and Steve Grogan) were the two worst starters in the game. Their backups (Jack Trudeau and Marc Wilson, respectively) were both better than them, and they were pretty bad in their own rights. Grogan was actually the worst quarterback in the game if you added up all his ratings, and that includes both starters and backups.



Then again, George wasn't too far ahead of him.



Grogan had a much higher "Avoid Pass Block" rating, but aficionados know that the two most important ratings were "Passing Speed" and "Pass Control," areas where George had the clear advantage. In real life Grogan was a pretty good quarterback during the '70's and '80's, while George was a #1 overall draft pick that never quite lived up to the hype. In this game though, George was the better of the two.

How about the running game? Though the Colts had Eric Dickerson at the time, he was left out of the game due to contractual issues, leaving the mediocre Albert Bentley as the team's best running back. He wasn't terrible, but he wasn't anything close to elite with his 44 speed. None of the Patriots' running backs had a speed rating higher than 31, which in Tecmo terms translates into "worthless." Neither team's offensive line was very good, though the Colts' was somewhat less crappy.



Then you have the receivers. The Colts' wide receivers were pretty good, while the Patriots' were slightly above average at best. The Patriots' Irving Fryar had a very good "Receptions" rating of 63, but the Colts had a guy of their own with a 63, and another with a 69. The Colts' guys were also slightly faster. The Patriots' best receiver was actually a tight end, Marv Cook. His speed of 44 and good hands (another 69 "Receptions" rating) made him the fastest player on offense and a tie for the best at catching the ball. The Colts' tight ends were nothing special.



Overall the Colts were much better offensively, but what about the defense? Here's where the Patriots had the advantage. The Patriots were somewhat balanced on defense, with one pretty good player each at defensive line, linebacker and defensive back (Ray Agnew, Andre Tippett and Ronnie Lippett, respectively). After those three it was fairly weak, but sometimes in Tecmo you didn't need depth, just one great player in a certain area. While their defense wasn't among the best in the game, it was much better than the Colts'. The Colts didn't have any above-average players on defense. It was just one big lump of sub-mediocrity.

Special teams are of minimal importance, but they can make some difference. The Colts had the better punter (Rohn Stark) while the Patriots had the better kicker (Jason Staurovsky). Stark was a Pro Bowler, while Staurovsky was just a bit better than average. The Patriots' punter and the Colts' kicker were both pretty bad. The Colts' returners were better, but not by a ton. Since I think the kicker makes the biggest difference of any special teamer, I'd give the Patriots a slight advantage in this area.



It's still pretty much a judgment call as to which team is better. While most people probably don't want their team to be known as the worst, sometimes it's better to hold that distinction. For one thing, people remember the really bad teams. Also, if you've played a game long enough that it becomes easy, playing a season as a bad team can present a good challenge. If you can win the Super Bowl with the worst team you'll truly feel a sense of accomplishment. Being the worst means you're the ultimate challenge. I have a friend who played a season as the Patriots, and he just narrowly lost to the 49ers in the Super Bowl. It was heartbreaking, but certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

Would my friend have won with the Colts, or would their horrific defense have prevented him from getting that far? Well, he only lost because of one costly play, so he could've won just as easily. Even if he won the Super Bowl with the Colts it would only prove that he's a really good player, not that either team was better. In other words, the debate continues.

As both teams have the talent to stay in contention down the road, we'll probably be hearing about the Colts-Patriots rivalry for years to come. It's best not to forget its roots though. The relative merits of these two teams have been discussed long before Brady and Manning showed up.




Special thanks to Mr. Paul Schulzetenberg for writing this Tecmo Super Bowl FAQ. It was a great reference for this piece.