Now that the Celtics have won the NBA title I can say something I don't think I've ever been able to say before: The last championship in each of the four major sports was won by a team I hate. Sure, I've watched teams I hate win championships before, but I've always had other sports with champions I liked to cheer me up. No longer is that the case. Over the last eight months there's been a clean sweep of championships won by teams I make a point never to root for.

I knew it was going to happen once the Lakers and Celtics clinched their respective conference titles, as I despise both teams. I had a feeling back in December that David Stern was going to orchestrate a Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals, so I can't say I didn't see it coming. I didn't watch one second of the phony Finals, but I had to hear about the results of each game due to a co-worker who was rooting hard for the Celtics and couldn't stop talking about them. I tried to explain to him that most of the Boston fans you come into contact with on the internet are insufferable jerks who think the world revolves around them, but he cared more about seeing Kevin Garnett get a ring than the sickening idea that those loudmouthed New Englanders (and the bandwagoners they've picked up over the last six years) get to experience the height of success yet again.

At least one good thing came out of this NBA season: I finally got the courage to accept that the NBA was a sham and to stop holding onto it because of the love I had for it in my younger days. David Stern, you can engineer all the Lakers-Celtics Finals you want. I'm not wasting anymore time watching this façade o####enuine competition until you're out as commissioner. Any league where two teams have won half its titles has something wrong with it.

Then there was the NHL. This was my first year following hockey closely, and I think I've found the sport that will replace the NBA in my heart. Hockey has players that are passionate about the game and generally focused on the team first, which is more than I can say for basketball. The only downside to this season was that the Stanley Cup was won by the Detroit Red Wings, a huge rival of my Chicago Blackhawks. Despite the fact that I'm an all-Chicago fan, I don't really mind the Lions, Tigers or Pistons that much. It seems that the Blackhawks-Red Wings rivalry is taken most seriously of all the Chicago-Detroit feuds though, so the Red Wings are on my "always root against" list. Admittedly, I haven't developed a real hatred for them yet, as I'm still new to hockey fandom, but they're about as close as you can get in my situation.

How about that Super Bowl? I heard about the outcome, but like the NBA Finals I didn't watch a nanosecond of it (except to see that play everyone was talking about on YouTube after the fact). I hate both the Giants and the Patriots, so I decided to spare myself the agony of watching one of them win it all.

What? The Boston hater didn't want to see the undefeated Patriots lose and all the smiles wiped off the faces of the arrogant Beantowners? Sorry, but not if it had to be at the hands of the Giants. Not only do they represent New York and have plenty of obnoxious fans of their own, but their quarterback is Eli Manning. The guy whined his way out of playing for the Chargers and has now been rewarded for it. When someone like Eli Manning wins a Super Bowl after four years in the league it only perpetuates the idea that big market teams with lots of historical success are somehow more important and worth playing for than teams that haven't yet reached that level. It makes me sick. John Elway had to pay penance for doing the same thing with three Super Bowl losses and the question of if he'd ever win the big game for over a decade. Eli got off with only a few years of doubt from the New York media and some criticism from his former tailback.

Then, of course, we have the most important sporting event of them all: the World Series. I threw all my support behind three different teams over the course of the Playoffs, but the one that ended up holding the trophy was the Red Sox, the team the evil city loves most. I could try to recapture my feelings about it here, but I think my post from after the Series ended says it better than I could right now.

If we end up with a Cardinals-Red Sox World Series or some such abomination 2008 will officially be the worst year in the history of sports. Of course, I'll probably still watch the World Series even if it features two teams I hate just because I love the game of baseball so much. After the way the past year has gone though, a team I can be happy for winning the World Series would do a lot to keep me from sinking into sports depression.

As some of you know, I've decided to boycott the Super Bowl this year. Don't try to talk me out of it; it's non-negotiable. I can't root for the Giants, because any quarterback that refuses to play for the team with the #1 pick has to suffer the same fate as John Elway: early success with an above-average team in the NFL's weaker conference, but no ring until at least his 15th year. I can't root for the Patriots either, because their team photo appears next to "evil" in the dictionary. No, nothing short of Cheap Trick being called in as a last-minute replacement for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers as the halftime entertainment could get me to watch this Super Bowl. The question that remains though, is what am I going to do on Sunday night?

Let's see what's on the schedule for the other channels I normally watch.

Hmmm...it looks like the other major networks are showing news during the Super Bowl. Oh wait, NBC is showing "The Biggest Loser: Couples." That sounds like a good alternate name for Super Bowl XLII. ABC is also showing "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," A.K.A. The Show That's Half Commercials. They're following that with "America's Funniest Home Videos." No thanks.

Zoinks! The Cartoon Network is showing a Scooby Doo marathon. In all honesty, that might be the best option I've come across so far.

CMT is showing Fried Green Tomatoes. Sorry, I'm not into "chick flicks." After that they're rerunning episodes of "Gone Country" which I've already seen. Any show where the likes of Dee Snider, Sisqo and Marcia from "The Brady Bunch" attempt to become country singers is can't-miss entertainment. I don't know if I feel like watching them again though.

Versus is showing something other than hockey. Pass.

Hey, there's a Wizards-Lakers game on the local sports channel. The Lakers' resurgence this year has gotten me depressed though, so I don't know if I can stand to watch that game.

Scooby, you may have some competition for your spot at the top of the power rankings. TV Land is showing "The Beverly Hillbillies," "The Andy Griffith Show" and "M*A*S*H." I'm not a huge fan of any of those shows, but they're usually a nice way to pass the time.

TBS is showing some "Bridget Jones" movie. See my comment on Fried Green Tomatoes.

C-SPAN is showing "Road to the White House 2008." Hey, now there's an idea. I could get caught up on the current political race. I have a feeling though, that after it's all said and done I still won't like any of the candidates they're hyping.

How about my old hometown's local channel, WGN? Oh great. More "America's Funniest Home Videos," and then, if that weren't enough, it's followed by "Funniest Pets and People," which is essentially the same show. Hey, "American Idol Rewind" is on after that. The description says "Wildcard Show." Wow, there's a change. Whenever I checked out "AI Rewind" in the past it was always a compilation show of those oh-so-hilarious bad auditions. You know, the ones with poor deluded souls who think screeching at the top of their lungs is actual singing? Those are funny once or twice, but after a while you just want to hit the mute button. I might tune in if indeed they're showing an episode with real performances.

How about the movie channels? Oh look, the Beatles' movie Help! is on. I've seen it before though. There's Facing the Giants, a football movie. I've heard it's good, but I think I'm done with football (and any gridiron team nicknamed "the Giants") until September. Stop the presses! Howard the Duck is on! I'm sure Ed Hardiman would be proud if I watched that. The Flintstones is on too. Remember that masterpiece starring John Goodman and Rick Moranis? I actually saw that in theaters when it came out. I don't think I've seen it since then. I think that streak will continue. Then there's An American in Paris, which I've also seen before. While Gene Kelly is much more entertaining than Bill Belichick, I don't think I feel like watching that particular movie.

The NHL Network is mostly showing "NHL on the Fly," which, for anyone who doesn't know, is just a show that gives you updates on the day's NHL games. I'm not going to sit and watch the same highlights over and over. I'd rather watch one of their random lists like "The Top Ten Left-Handed European Defensemen of the 1993-94 Season."

NBA TV is showing "NBA Vault" and that same Lakers-Wizards game I'm avoiding. I suppose some retro basketball stuff could be interesting.

The Game Show Network is showing "Greed," "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" and "Lingo." Those shows are OK, but nothing I'd go out of my way to watch.

Finally, the Hallmark Channel is showing a "Murder, She Wrote" marathon. If they were showing one of their formulaic feelgood movies I might watch just so I could be cheered up from the dismal reality that two teams I hate are playing for the NFL's championship, but if Angela Lansbury is the best they can give me I think I'll pass.

The Super Bowl is the biggest event in American sports, and as such it leaves a big gap to fill. There are some decent options on TV, but most aren't so great. The more I think about it the more I'm leaning toward just reading a book.

Now that we know the NFL's final four I no longer have to weigh the relative merits of each team or make decisions about whom to root for. I just want to see one team win it all: the San Diego Chargers. This has been one of the worst NFL seasons I can remember, and a Super Bowl victory for San Diego is the only thing left that could redeem it. Some people may have problems with the maturity levels displayed by certain Charger players, but I don't care. I feel for the true blue Charger fans who've suffered through years of incompetence with them. They've had their brief flirtations with success, such as the "Air Coryell" era and the mid-90's, but you'd have to go back to 1963 to find the last time the Chargers reigned supreme in their league. Most of their fans probably weren't even born when that happened. Despite their reputation as bandwagoners, I know there are lots of Charger fans who want a Super Bowl title more than anything, and those fans deserve it.

Why am I so dead set on the Chargers? In addition to having liked them for a long time (not as a primary team, but on the side), I despise the other three teams remaining in the Playoffs.

First there's this year's odds-on favorite, the New England Patriots. What else is left to say about them? They've gone undefeated and left a trail of enmity behind them. If they win the Super Bowl the only people who'll look back on them with love will be Patriot fans. Perhaps in 20 years kids who study the history of football will read about their success on the field and be in awe of them, but those of us who lived through their reign of terror will remember what a loathsome bunch they were.

There's been some bad blood between the Patriots and Chargers in recent years. After the Patriots won last year's Playoff meeting to end San Diego's dream season the Chargers were left with a bitter taste in their mouths. LaDainian Tomlinson even had the guts to call out the Patriots on their lack of class in victory, as several Patriot players taunted them while the clock ran out. If Tomlinson's team can avenge that loss to end the Patriots' perfect season it'll be poetic justice. The Chargers have injuries to deal with, but it's my hope that they can overcome them with a desire to win.

Coincidentally, the two teams playing for the NFC Championship also happen to be the two NFC teams I hate the most.

As a Chicago Bears fan it's part of my job to hate the Green Bay Packers, but there's more to it than that. Those fans who wear dairy products on their heads are some of the most annoying in sports. Most of them, as well as many other football fans, have been brainwashed into thinking Brett Favre is some sort of god. He does #### all the time that shows he's not the perfect guy so many make him out to be, but he always seems to be above criticism. After all, he's the "ultimate gamer" and whatnot. It makes me sick. The Packers already get all the respect in the rivalry with the Bears, and I don't think I could stomach Packer fans bragging about another Super Bowl victory.

Finally, you have the New York Giants. I've always hated the Giants just because they were from New York, although New York hasn't seemed that bad to me since the emergence of Boston as America's most annoying city. Still, I've had a special dislike for the Giants ever since I met a guy in college who was a Giants fan as well as a complete jerk. Seriously, this guy disgusted me like few people I've ever met in my life. If the Giants won the Super Bowl I'd imagine people like him celebrating. Yes, I realize that every team has its share of jerks as fans, but when you've met them personally you're more likely to associate those jerks with the team. Besides, Eli Manning spurned the Chargers in favor of the Giants, and it'd be further poetic justice if the Chargers won the Super Bowl before he did.

I know that life isn't fair and that sports will often disappoint me. Still, the more I think about it the more I'm convinced that this Chargers team needs to win the Super Bowl. They need to win it for all us fans who are tired of the NFL's glory franchises. They need to win it for all the people who've called their franchise an inherent loser. They need to win it so that this season will have a story worth talking about. Anything less just isn't enough. In fact, I won't even watch the Super Bowl unless the Chargers are in it, because my only option otherwise will be an unhappy result. Chargers, it's up to you to save this season.