We kept looking at each other just to make sure somebody else in the room was seeing the same thing we were.

"Um...was that-"
"Yeah, that was-"
"O-okay, just making sure-"
"Yeah, I saw that, too."

A short conversation of nothingness played and replayed in every household tuned in to the Cleveland Browns-Kansas City Chiefs game Sunday. After having watched every painful second of every Browns game this season, Derek Anderson looked almost surreal. Like we were all just sitting there imagining him.

But even the best pot doesn't make you delusional, and there's no way all four of us would have had the same daydream, so it must be true. A field goal by Phil Dawson won the game in overtime after the back-up quarterback throws two touchdowns in 9 minutes and breaks a tackle to make the longest run of the game by any Browns player.
Kansas City's defense figured out the hard way 6'6" is a lot to bring down and the conversations beginning with "Um...was that-" started. And we were all correct.

Why, yes, that was Steve Heiden with two touchdowns.

Why, yes, that was Josh Cribbs behind the center doing his old job.

Why, yes, that was Simon Fraser knocking the ball out of Trent Green's hands.

You didn't imagine that.

Speaking of Simon Fraser, this guy is quickly becoming one of my favourite players on the team. Ohio State, 'nuff said around here; though because I don't watch college football, I just figured that out a few minutes ago. Every time there's a big play on defense, they're saying his name. The two hits on Roethlisberger after he got picked off, though it cost us points, was worth it. ;)

I'm bloody serious, so stop laughing....

Following the ####-kicking of a pretty good team in their own house, and a few drinks, it occurred to me that the Cleveland Browns have the ability to be as good as, if not better on offense than the still-undefeated Indianapolis Colts.

Because I'm a girl, I'm never really sure I know what I'm talking about when I make declarations about football strategy because I've never actually played it. The occasions when I grow some balls and say something I know I am 100% right about are rare. This is one of them.

It seems to me that there are only two major elements missing from the Cleveland Browns that the Colts have that make all the difference in the world.

And no, one of them is not Peyton Manning....

1. PROTECTION IN THE POCKET


I know I'm beating a dead horse here, but it cannot be restated enough. The guys you hear the least about are one of the most critical yet subtle differences between winning and losing. Charlie has good skill, he can fire the ball into tight spots, he can throw it long and do it quite accurately......when he's not under pressure. Could Charlie throw as well as Peyton if he wasn't spending so much time running for his life? Sure he could! In fact, we know he runs better than Peyton Manning now....
The problem is that when Charlie's running, he's not thinking. A young, inexperienced quarterback needs a few extra seconds to run through his reads and make a decision. A few extra seconds are tough to buy in the NFL, but it has to be done if these guys are going to learn anything. It is the job of the offensive line to buy those few extra seconds....the difference between winning and losing, the difference between the Browns and the still-undefeated Colts.


2. OPEN THE PLAYBOOK AND THE FIELD
So I think I see a pattern, here. This Davidson-guy nobody knows that's now calling our plays? Yeah, that guy. He did this AMAZING thing....he turned the page in the playbook and found open air. The pattern being if Charlie gets the time he needs to throw the ball accurately and where the defense can't get it, his receivers will catch it. We have arguably one of the most talented receiver-sets in the NFL, so why do they seem so under-utilized? We should be throwing the ball at least ten yards damn near every down. I know a lot of folks are going to roll their eyes at the idea of the Cleveland Browns being an "air-offense" but that is exactly what it appears our strength is.



Feel free to agree with me in the comments section....

We have stood in line.  We've wondered if someone was hacking our machine.   We've voted for people we've never heard of, and we've survived another season of mudslinging.  It's an election, folks, and it is our civic duty to put in place the individuals who will most successfully lead this nation forward.

I didn't like the candidates, so I nominated my own:

Secretary of State - Phil Savage

-Managed to talk his way into keeping his job with the Browns after the rout with John Collins, talked several top-caliber players into moving their families to a cold, economically-depressed city to play football here.  Why not send Phil to talk to Kim Jong-Il?  We can at least guarantee a solid diplomatic effort.

Secretary of Defense - Maurice Carthon
-No longer a Brown, but with all those fancy trick plays he's got up his sleeve, maybe he can trick-play/strategize a way out of Iraq.  He might have better luck; that team we call the US military happens to know what they're doing on the field a lot more than the brown-and-orange.

Ambassador to The UN - Kellen Winslow
-If John Bolton can say things like losing ten floors of the 38-story UN building "wouldn't make a bit of difference" and managed to earn the job of Ambassador to said building and occupants, Kellen Winslow and his obnoxious mouth can be named Ambassador to anything.  Diplomatic immunity for god-knows-what is inevitable.

Governor of Ohio - Randy Lerner
As Governor, Randy could delegate the management responsibilities he wasn't too keen on to anyone he wanted, and be Prime Minister of England.  He'll be easy to elect because he's likeable and he's the kind of billionaire you could drink a beer with.

CLAY MATTHEWS - The Cleveland Browns, Linebacker, 1978-1993

4-time Pro Bowler, played 19 seasons, 15 of them with Mom's favourite team, the Cleveland Browns.  Had five kids and drove an old Buick to practice; guys didn't get paid in the millions back then.  Mom liked him because he was pretty, and he was all heart on the gridiron.

 

*Inspired by The Men Grant Miller's Mom would have dated.

Heads are rolling, players are hurting, and we're still losing. Just another day in the life of the Cleveland Browns:


From The Orange & Brown Report:

"Channel 3's Jim Donovan reported tonight on his 11PM newscast that Browns offensive coordinator Mo Carthon has been fired. The news will be welcomed by fans, and some players, who had been requesting his ouster."

Channel 5 said he'd stepped down...no one's confirmed it yet, but we know. Bowing out gracefully is the best he can do for himself and the team. Only time will tell if this was a smart move. Right now, I have to believe so. The play-calling has been horrible and the lack of confidence in this offense only makes them worse.


From ABCNews:

"Baxter will have surgery on Tuesday at the Cleveland Clinic to repair both knees, coach Romeo Crennel said during his Monday news conference. Crennel, who has been coaching for more than 35 years, said he has never seen an injury like Baxter's."

yup. And ya never seen a team like the Cleveland Browns, have ya, Boss? We tried to tell you...

"...He didn't have injury problems until coming to Cleveland. In three years at Baylor, he missed only one game with a hamstring injury. While he was with the Ravens, Baxter played in 48 consecutive games."

OK, anyone left who wants to disagree with me on the team conditioning and weight-training? I've been trying to raise the issue since Bentley got hurt and everybody called it a fluke. No one even wants to question how we are training and developing these guys physically? How do you tear BOTH KNEES, my God! By the sheer quantity of injuries this team has compared to every other team in this damn league, it is at least a valid assumption.

Note to team physicians: Charlie's head will most likely not be reattached should he lose it to an opposing defense. Medical technology has not advanced far enough for such a procedure to be performed successfully, even at the Cleveland Clinic.



Oh, yeah, and speaking of Bentley....


The Plain Dealer reports:

"Coach Romeo Crennel said on Friday that Bentley is making slow progress and that he might not be back in time for the start of next season. He said Bentley is at home rehabbing and should be working out in Berea within the next week or so. He said doctors told him it would be a year before they could determine when Bentley will return. Bentley suffered the injury July 27 on the first day of contact drills."



The latest return patient the Cleveland Clinic's Browns' Football Memorial Wing is our star-center, having his own damn knee problems and one we've been hearing about quite a bit this season on our local high-school teams: staph infection. Easy to get , difficult to fight, makes you feel like #### everywhere. And quite possible not even back in time for training camp...next year.


I personally would not mind dancing with Jake Plummer but this is ####ing ridiculous....1,2,3-kick, 1-2-3-kick!  The wind is so strong and so cold up here but I'm getting so bored if I drink one more beer I'll fall asleep...

 

Charlie throws an interception. From my vantage point on top of the world, and without my glasses on, I could see them. Droves of people....within seconds of witnessing Frye throw the ball to the other guys, and I mean about TWO SECONDS....standing up and heading down the stairs, not quickly, just collectively. Every stairwell was full by the time the play ended. It was cold, the wind was really bad and people had just had enough. I take pride in having made it 10 minutes into the fourth quarter before calling it quits. What a sad sight it was to see all those people leave and what a sad thing to be not far behind them....

(*sigh*)

It's another day in Brownstown....