Well here we go again. Some things are just so unbelievable to me that I have to scream out...ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? Lately the symbolism of an asterisk is enough to make me want to barf and it definately makes me want to scream out...ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???

We all know where I stand on Barry Bonds. If you don't remember I'll update you. Great freakin' baseball player. I couldn't care less if he is a model citizen or a horrible teammate. That would be for those WHO KNOW HIM to deal with. We all know that he became MLB's All-time HR hitter this summer and we know the RUMORS surrounding him and his relationship with performance enhancing chemicals. The Court of Public Opinion has pre-determined his guilt and that was supported by...in case some of you missed it...a promotion by some wealthy guy who bought the record breaking HR ball to have people vote on the condition of the ball before he presented it to the HOF. According to the clown the votes came in and it has to have an asterisk on it. The asterisk has to be there because of the rumors about his previously mentioned relationship with said performance enhancing chemicals. Hank Aaron was clean...Bonds was not...so let's place an asterisk on the record setting HR ball to prove to future generations that Barry Bonds cheated. Now everyone is happy.

Don Shula coached the only undefeated team in NFL history...the 1972 Miami Dolphins. Jim Kiick, Larry Csonka, Bob Greise, Earl Morral, Paul Warfield and the No-Name defense won every game they played in the 1972 season. This group of players has publicly rooted against any team that has ever even threatened that record...and I can appreciate that. But...records are meant to be broken. They are the driving force behind every player or team good enough to get close to tying or breaking them. If you want to be the best...you've got to beat the best. And now the New England Patriots are posing a very real threat to tht record. And this team's leader is upset about it. So what? The Patriots coach got caight red-handed video taping the opposing teams sideline during a game...presumably stealing anything he could get to help the Patriots out. The NFL nailed him. Good for them. He was wrong and the punishment has been handed down. But now...one of the most respected head coaches in NFL history isn't satisfied and he has insisted (later backing off a bit) that an asterisk be placed next to the Patriots record...if indeed...they break that record. Let's get it in place now...just in case. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? Well...I want to be happy so I'm going to place an asterisk on things I don't like so I can be happy.

The asterisk is becoming sacred to all who have issues with change...of any kind....in any way...at least in the sports world. Whatever!!! Let's start using it for everything and we can become the asterisk generation.

Special Education is here to stay and the costs associated with it are astronomical. Let's place an asterisk next to the No Child Left Behind Laws and any subsequent legislation that comes along in this venue to remind us of a time when a lot of Special Needs Children weren't around...because parents and educators didn't put up with NO DISCIPLINE practices in the home or in public schools. I work in Special Education and have seen those that the services are necessary for...and those who take advantage of a system that doesn't police itself very well.

Let's put an asterisk on every document that O.J. Simpson's latest trial generates to remind us that...at least in the Court of Public Opinion (see Barry Bonds) Simpson should be...at the very least...in prison already for killing his wife and a friend of hers. Because if he was where he should be then he wouldn't have been hanging out with some shady characters looking for some career memorabilia that he shouldn't have the right to anyway according to the Civil Suit won by Ron Goldman's (aforementioned friend of deceased wife) family. That asterisk ought to take care of everything.

If Hillary Clinton becomes our next President I want an asterisk placed on the records of the past 25 years of U.S. Presidents to show what 2 families had enough power to do to the United States. Bush and Clinton...wow! The law was changed after FDR held office for so many terms and term limits were established. We need to have a law forbidding people from the same family from occupying the Oval Office...or any political office...within a 25 year period...at least. Oh...wait a minute...I already have an asterisk there...we're good.

The price of gas is going crazy now and the oil industry is using a new approach. Instead of openly ripping us off by raising the price of gas at the pumps and home fuels astronomically and then claimng 10 billion in quarterly profits blaming it all on breaks in supply lines, etc., etc. They are telling us now that this latest "crisis" is due to worldwide demand and the growth of smaller nations. It's true...I read it in the paper today. Makes more sense to me than a break in supply lines. I say we put an asterisk on the last 2 years of gas gouging and demand refunds from not only the oil companies but all of our politicians who work so hard to ignore their contituencies. That ought to handle that.

Speaking of reading things in the paper or hearing news reports. We need to place an asterisk next to anything a sports reporter reports because you can never be quite sure what spin they are putting on it. And of course we need to remember that there is a spin on everything. The asterisk will help to remind us that we don't need to consider sports reporters "experts" on anything.

Let's put an asterisk next to ANYTHING Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Brittney Spears (and Kevin Federline) to remind us that we are still inundated with spoiled brats and the ignorant paparazzi that report on every childish endeavor. OK...according to ShooterB there are parts of Paris that we shouldn't get next to but...well...you get my drift.

Remember the Duke scandal? We need to put an asterisk beside the records of all involved to remind us that they real victims were acquitted...the real criminal was the DA and the woman who falsely accused those guys of raping her at a party. Ooops...wait a second. That would constitute a legitimate use of an asterisk. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?

Let's NOT use an asterisk for mundane and ignorant desires or wants. Who cares if things don't work out quite the way we think they should? It's called dealing with adversity. Adversity comes in many shapes, forms, sizes, issues and patterns. Deal with it and move on. The almighty desire to use an asterisk to denote the opposing view of some sports event is comical...if not a bit absurd.

Actually...for those who can't get past the need to use an asterisk in this manner...consider sticking your asterisk up your asterisk. And move on! I only used that line because it sounded good. Frankly I don't care if anyone gets past the use of an asterisk or not so don't take it personally. Report me if you will. Then maybe FoxSports would realize that I do have a bio up and don't need to write another one. Wait...another use for an asterisk.

***this rant is over***