Two things happened this week that prompted me to start thinking about the relationship I have with my father.

The first was the tragic airplane accident that claimed the life of Cory Lidle. Not only was he a professional athlete, more importantly, he was a father. And while the baseball world and the New York Yankees mourn the loss of a player and a teammate, I weep for his children. I weep for any family that loses a parent so early in life. So young and full of energy. So full of some of the things that SoCal mentioned in an earlier post. The ability to guide and teach and lead his children. The partnering skills that his wife is now void of. The presence he has in his home. All of these things he was, his children now lack. And while his death is tragic, this is indeed a tragedy within a tragedy.

But it doesn't have to be the end of everything for them. A few years ago we had a hockey player whose father was killed in an electrical accident. My neices and nephew lost their father in an industrial accident this summer. The people in their lives and the influences of their fathers proved to be great catalysts to being able to deal with this adversity for all four of these young people. 

The first young man I mentioned was a 3 sport star in high school. He was all state in football and all conference in baseball and hockey. We have an award here that embodies the elements of the Hobie Baker Award. As a matter of fact it is presented by the Hobie Baker people and is for the student/athlete that shows perseverence, commitment to community, sportsmanship, etc., etc. Because of the kind of kid he was he was our first receipient of the award. We don't give it out every year. He bears a strong physical resemblence to his father and many of his fathers mannerisms. In my time as a coach I have had the pleasure to work with many outstanding young men. This kid is truly one of the best young men I have been around. His father would be immensely proud of this young man. It was an honor to coach him and to be a part of his life. And when we meet today he impresses me more and more with his demeanor and behavior.

My neices and nephew are dealing with their tragedy. They have had some experience. They lost their grandmother a year and a half ago. But nothing prepares you for the tragedy they shared this summer. But my nephew is now enrolled as a freshman in college and while he misses his father, he is tackling school like his father tackled race car driving, which he was pretty good at in Oklahoma. The girls are getting better. They lived with their dad but now live with their PaPa, my dad! There are issues with my sisters husband but my sister is very involved with the girls and together they work hard to keep my brother-in-laws spirit alive with the girls. They have pictures of him on the computer which they rotate as their screensaver. I can see some of his mannersisms in them. He was a very strong influence on them.

So the lives of Cory Lidle's kids and his wife will be turned upside down for quite sometime. But, there is hope for them in the face of this tragedy and ,I for one, will pray for them.

The other thing that happend, actually will happen, is the Oklahoma - Iowa State game this weekend. Well, what has that got to do with anything? This!

All week in Oklahoma there has been talk about Adrian Peterson and his father. For the first time in 8 years, Peterson's father will get to watch him play in the same building he is playing in. You see, the seniior Peterson has been incarcerated for the past 8 years. After his incarceration he has been living in a halfway house in Oklahoma City. He has not been allowed to attend any OU games in person. Effectively, this man has not seen his son carry a football, in person, since before Adrian Peterson was in high school. But this weekend, Adrian Peterson has extra motivation. His father will be in Norman, OK this weekend to watch his son play football. Dad is excited about it, and so is his son. Why not? And why did this make me stop and think about the relationship I have with my dad?

My dad was a career Navy man. He missed a lot of my growing up by serving his country. Hey, there are a lot of us military brats out there, this I know. My parents divorced when I was 10 and I bounced between my dad and mother for a few years before settling with my dad. He served 21 years in the Navy and the last 4 were as a recruiter. This meant - STATIONARY! He always supported me before this but now he was there. Physically there! He served as my mentor, teacher and guidance counselor. He gave me many of the values and things I have today. I remember having trouble over playing time with my football coach when I was a sophomore in high school. I asked my dad to talk to my coach. His response, "I am your Dad. I am NOT your football coach. If you have issues with him, then you need to talk to him. I won't talk to him about your playing time and I don't want him to talk to me about how to be your dad." Self-advocacy. Another time, Prom, I took his car and brought it back on E. I proceeded to take my moms car and bring it back on E. At 6:00 am my dad opened my bedroom door, calmly woke me up and handed me a gas can. "Take this and your bike, fill it, come back and put the gas in my car. Then take my car and fill it up. Take the gas can with you and do the same thing with your moms car." Never again did I think so carelessly. The lessons I learned from my father have been passed down to my kids with, on most occasions, different scenarios.

Here is what I get, that Adrian Peterson has a chance at, that Cory Lidle's children do not!

I still get to visit the best friend I have once or twice a year. I get to sit next to him at OU home games if my visits coincide with a home game. I get to relive memories that we laugh and cry at. I get to hang out with the Best Man at my wedding whenever I go home to Oklahoma. I understand how Adrian Peterson feels. Last winter, for the first time ever, my father came to MN durring hockey season and went with us when we went to our holiday hockey tournament. It was the first time my dad ever watched me coach a game that he saw me play plaenty of. At my moms funeral a year and a half ago, I felt greatly protective of my father. He was never more than an arms length away from me, unless he wanted to be. Whatever he wanted, he got. Whatever he wanted for my mom, they got! Whenever I go home we go to the cemetary together and put flowers down for her and for my grandmother. The first time I really saw my father cry was when we buried my mom.

So what did these two things make me think? I am blessed. I have had opportunites that many kids will not have in regard to my father, or their fathers. I have had the time to have memories to share with my father that Cory Lidle's kids didn't get. I have had time to have my dad witness my accomplishments in the flesh. Along with the accomplishments have been some failures, but, not many in the grand scheme of things. And I have had a future, regardless of the past, that Adrian Peterson and others like him now have. Yes, I have been blessed.

I have learned through tragedy that we shouldn't take any relationship lightly. I cherish my dad and the relationship I have with him. Sadly, others will  never experience what I have been blessed to experience. And, therein, lies perhaps the greatest tragedy of all.

And that's the bottom line...

Go Sooners!