Young, dumb, and full of horse dung is the A-Rod we all know and love to boo.  Sure, Mr. A-ROID can hit a baseball as far and as high and as deep and as often as anyone in the Game.  Sure, Mr. Choke-Rod of the Post Season has been the recipient of the now miscalculated and misjudged MVP Award 3 times in the last 5 years.  Even the indicted LIAR Barry Bonds accomplished something near or even better than that.  So what?  And no baseball fan in his right mind would even attempt to argue that A-Rod is not one of the great individual talents of all time.  But he has been, is, and will most likely continue to be one of the great egotistical A-Holes of all time. 

For a moment, if that's possible, let's forget his current matrimonial troubles and his corresponding late night sexcapades with none other than the lip sync-ing Material Girl/wannabe Kabala "Esther"/Children's "morality" book author, and all-around Bi-sexual Hypocrite Tramp who sacrilegiously calls herself Madonna (shame on the Media who have joyously let her get away with this all these years!).  For a moment, let's take a look into his latest stand on the All-Star game Home Run Derby and why, in the final All-Star game ever to be played in the House that colossal home run inventor Ruth Built, (A-Rod's tour de force), on his home field, wearing the famed pinstripes, in the final year of Ruth's House known these days as the Old Yankee Stadium, on center stage, hometown fans,prime time, in the Media Center of the Universe, the Big Apple itself, and why he is opting out of the long ball contest.

One would or should ask:  is he kidding?

'Fraid not, home run fans.

"But why?' asks the incredulous and the ignorant.  "Is he injured?"

Healthy as a hunk, just ask his 49 year old "girl."  The line Stray-Rod has been regurgitating has all to do with the potential of a home run derby ruining his long looping swing which will need to be perfectly tuned if his team is to somehow begin winning and squeak into this year's post season.  He cites a similar dilemma a number of years ago when he was employed as a mercenary by the Rangers.

"I think that's wonderful...I mean, what other superstar would sacrifice personal accolades for the good of his team.  How humble of him."

What a guy!  Maybe they should give him an award for such sacrifice, or even a medal.  Call it the Most Vain Primadonna award.  He could be featured on the cover of the Sunday Parade Magazine along with his new woman, old Esther, that other humble humanitarian.  Entitle it: "IMMATERIAL GUY & GIRLTOGETHER AT LAST.

"I like them on the cover together but don't like your title."

You being stupid, that's understandable.  Excuse me, I apologize for being crass but not for being accurate.  Now, let's get back to A-Rod.  I want you to use that walnut of a brain that God gave you.  Think of his post season chokes, his anemic batting average in the most important games of the season, his errors in the field, and his slap-happy antics running down the first base line against the Red Sox a few years ago.  Think of his post game interviews when his inability to perform in the clutch so often was instrumental in his Yankee team's loss, when he was incapable of ownership to his flaws and could only muster up the overly general and non-personal phrase, "It's unfortunate" to categorize his lackluster performance.

Fortunately, many of us are not stupid.  Fortunately, we are able to peer through the facade to the playing field of life, even on an overcast, foggy day.  We see A-Rod for what he really is - King Baby engorged with self-centered fear.  To fail to win the Home Run Derby on his home field in his hometown on so momentous an occasion and in front of his new "girl" seated in his personal Stadium seat would be scrumptious fodder for the tabloids and incredibly distasteful to his own personna.  And with the overly deep Yakee Stadium left centerfield as his target opposed to the inviting short right field porch just waiting for Chad Utley's line drive stroke (not unlike Madonna in her bed counting the minutes until A-Rod's late night arrival) as a legitimate excuse to finish in second or third place easily rationalized by all concerned, Choke-Rod still opts out.  He does so because he knows that his self-centered fear will, once again, get the best of him and that he could easily go out in an early round.  King Baby could not stand that.

A final word to Alex:  You're in the Sports Entertainment  business, stupid!  It's the most important date of the year for your employer.  Give back to the "Game" and the fans who have given you so much.  If you don't compete in the Derby, you are nothing more than an obscenely overpaid, synthetically engorged WUSS.

We hear that's how the Material Girl likes her boys.