This is a theoretical poll based on ESPN hyperbole.  (If you knew nothing about college football and did not watch the games, and only listened to ESPN, who would be ranked in the Top 10

10) Brigham Young - Stays at # 10 after giving up 14 points.  Thier last three games they have given up a total of 14 points (4.6 Points per game).   Why are they not rated higher after beating out thier last three opponents by a combined score of 136 -14?  We still have questions about thier defense and their ability to beat teams from conferences other than the Pac 1.

9)  Ohio State - Just played thier way back into National Championship Contention by beating Wisconsin. The arrival of Beanie Wells and Terrell Pryor launching a 4th quarter come from behind victory means we can again begin to hype them well beyond thier actual on field performance.  Wisconsin is not the kind of team that will lose close games in the 4th quarter to teams like Michigan or Ohio State so this was a very convincing victory. We at ESPN are excited about another NCG in the Rose bowl against USC.  This would be the second time the "Greatest Game of the Century" will be played by these two teams this year.  (This potential BCS game is our backup plan in the event the SEC teams knock each other off due to the "Parity in the SEC.")

8) Florida- They too continue to move up the polls after thier dismantling of an underrated Arkansas team.  This is a very good Arkansas team capable of beating any team not in the SEC on any given day and they took this talent laden Florida team into the 4th quarter only trailing by 10.  For Flordia to dominate the 4th quarter the way they did  talks about the character....blah blah.....heart...Yadda Yadda Yadda ....discipline..etc etc....coaching excellence......at Florida. 

Why was this game so close? Parity Exists in the SEC!........ Hey, We're not making this up!!!!

7) Texas - Colt McCoy is not only the best quarterback in the the Big 12, he is the best in the country and we will put our reputation on it.  Last week they beat a very bad Arkansas team by 42.  Because Arkansas is so bad offensively,  we still have a lot of quesitons about Texas'  defense.   This week they gave up 14 points to Colorado and barely won by 24.  The questions about thier defense remain.

6) Missouri - Chase Daniel is not only the best quarterback in the the Big 12, he is the best in the country and we will put our reputation on it. .......This was our "ESPN Upset Watch" game of the week.  We anticipated the game to be a tight affair with Mizzou a 10 Point favorite but we were convinced an Upset was in the making.  We had a lot of questions about the Mizzou Defense and we knew this Husker team could score in bunches.  The Nebraska offense took the Mizzou defense down to the final tick of the game clock. scoring a touchdown with with no time left, bringing the margin of loss down to 35.   We at ESPN are so pissed that Mizzou made us look foolish (again) we dropped them this week just for spite.   And we still have questions about thier defense.

 5) USC - USC continues to move up the polls this week jumping Mizzou, following a start to finish white washing of Oregon. Despite Oregons record of 4 and 2, this team is the real deal with victories over Purdue, Utah State and Washington and Washington State.  When USC can beat a team like Oregon who has faced the best of the best, we are convinced they can beat anybody.  Even if they cant beat anybody named Oregon State (with a 2-3 record) THEY ARE STILL THE BEST TEAM IN THE COUNTRY UNTIL WE SAY THEY AREN'T.  So stop all your whining about them being ranked so high. 

4) Penn State -  The way State Penn shut down the potent Purdue offense is a tribute to Joe Paterno. Camera shots of Joe Pa, wearing a head set, motivating the team, barking out plays,  through his assistant coaches, from the coaches box at the top the stadium, reminds us at ESPN of another legendary coach who no longer coaches, Bobby Bowden.  What makes this team so special is the fact that Coach Paterno may actually be in a coma and still racking up victories to stay ahead of coach Bowden.  By the way, both coaches were just offered 20 year extensions on thier contracts.  We may see Joe PA racking up victories for years to come, albeit frozen in a cryogenic chamber rolled into the coaches box each week. 

3) Oklahoma - Sam Bradford is not only the best quarterback in the the Big 12, he is the best in the country and we will put our reputation on it.........This however was still not the victory we were looking for from OU.  Baylor is a very bad team and OU still gave up 17 Points.  OU still lacks the mental toughness and questions about thier defense will continue to hurt the publics perception of them if we at ESPN have anything to say about it........(And we do!!!!!)

2) LSU - Stayed at # 2 this week since they had a bye.  We dont believe in Jumping teams over SEC teams who had bye weeks.  We believe in Jumping SEC teams over other teams who have bye weeks. 

1) Alabama - Wow!!!!! is all we at ESPN can say about Alabama's 3 point victory over Kentucky.   The 38th ranked team in the country took the number one ranked Tide to the final ticks of the clock.  Time to dig deep into the hyperbole well tp justify this one:

• They showed character holding off a very underated  KY team
• We talk about Parity in the SEC but this game showed it. 
• A lesser team would have fallen
• Nick Saban Coached teams have the mental toughness it takes to win
• Every team is tested and this week Bama came through like champions
• They could have looked forward to thier bye week next week but they didn't . They played this game like the national championship game was on the line

The Big Losers - Texas Tech - We at ESPN cannot believe that the Big 12 Has 6 teams in the top 20  and 4 in the top 10.  Texas Tech was gonna get jobbed regardless cause we cant put more Big 12 Teams in the Top Ten than we have SEC teams. Our reasoning for leaving them out is " We know Mizzou...Oklahoma.....Texas ........Texas Tech can score in bunches but we have questions about thier defense. 

The Big Winners - College football fans.  We guarantee you the best National Championship game we can sell to the Networks.  Take our word for it.

On a side note, We at ESPN are changing our Tag Line from "The Total Sports Network" to

"WE ARE ESPN and WE WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOUR OPINION WILL BE!"

This is a theoretical poll based on ESPN hyperbole.  (If you knew nothing about college football and did not watch the games, who would be ranked in the Top 10

10) Brigham Young - Moves up to # 10 after not allowing a single point for three Straight weeks (Well one of them was a Bye).  Why are they not rated higher after beating out thier last two opponents by a combined score of 102 -0?  It has something to do with thier conference not being as good as other conferences or something like that........I thought we evaluated teams on thier wins......BUT NOT IN THE ESPN HYPERBOLE POLE

9)  Ohio State - Just played thier way back into National Championship Contention by beating Minnesota. The arrival of Beanie Wells and Terrell Pryor means we can again begin to hype them well beyond thier actual performance.  We mathematically figured out that they can still go undefeated in the Big 10 and make it back to the top 2 if every team in front of them loses only once.  This practically ensures the SEC of another NCG victory.  OSU is not really good enought to be in the top 10 but if we didnt have them at number 9 we would have to move BYU up.

8) Georgia - Trailed by 31 at half time.  Why were they not dropped lower following a first half performance that made us think about Ohio State's futility against USC two weeks earlier?  We were able to keep them in the top 10 by Jumping Alabama over everyone so the loss didnt seem so bad.  

7) Florida - Dropped clear to number 7 in this weeks poll.   Sure they were outplayed for 4 quarters.  Sure they lost to a team ranked outside the top 70.  But Florida did not lose that Game.  Thier kicker lost the game.  Not the line that failed to stop the 5 Mississipi defenders from getting into the backfield the same time as the snap.  Besides Kickers arent really part of the game.  Penalizing them for the kickers mistake is just wrong.  At least they never trailed by 31 at half.

6)  USC - USC would have dropped out of the top 10 were it not for the losses by GA, and Florida.  With them ranked ahead of Ga and Florida and not wanting to have less than 4 SEC teams in the Top 10, we had to put them in at 6 cause we kept GA and FLA in at #7 and #8.  Sure they lost but they were still ranked higher than GA and Florida so it seems unfair to punish USC for losing first.

5) Missouri - Missouri had a bye this week so we were fully justified in not moving them up even though 3 teams in front of them lost. (We werent going to move them up anyway, we just got lucky that we were able to jump a few teams over them by claiming they destroyed thier oppenents).  The reality is Missouri's only real competition came from a highly over-rated Illinois team in week one.  Sure Illinois scored a touchdown on the last Play of the came to bring the margin of victory down to 10 and sure Mizzou put up 52 against them but that is not what we call an impressive victory over a talented and determined team.

4) Penn State -  This was a victory over a a very talented and determined Illinois team. This  was the hallmark victory we were lookng for to get them into the top 5.  Penn State got fat on cupcakes the first few weeks but this Illinois team was the type of victory that we like to see from Top 5 Teams.  This could be the most talented team USC ....er!...eh!...Penn State has ever fielded.  Can someone clean up the @$#! queue cards!!??!!!?!

3) Oklahoma - Stayed at number three because of a lack luster performance against a top 25 Team.  This is the same lackluster performance we have been predicting all year and sure enough they only beat them by 25 Points.  We Dropped Missouri for winning by 21 the week prior.  We wont drop OU this week but they better watch thier #### moving forward. 

2) LSU - Jumped to number 2 following the most impressive display over a very talented (1-4) Mississipi State. This LSU team looks every bit as good as the 7th ranked team from last year that we jumped over everyone in the final poll of the season to get into the National Championship game after being ranked number one twice and and losing.  We may have to do the same thing again but we learned our lesson.  Keep em close to number 1 and it's easier to hide the bias.

1) Alabama - This is the greatest team Penn State .....eh.....USC.....ER.......Alabama has ever fielded and may be the best team ever in the history of the game.   When you jump out to a 31-0 lead on a world beater like Ga has been this year and then hold on for a 10 point win, you deserve to jump eveyone into the number one spot.

The Big Losers - Well based on the scores it would be USC, GA, and FLA.  If we go by the ESPN Hyperbole Poll the Big losers are BYU, Southern FLA, Texas and Texas Tech.

The Big Winners - Every SEC team.  The cream of the SEC got knocked out by the dregs of the SEC so instead of dropping GA, FLA LSU down in the polls, we will move the Entire SEC into the top 25.    ( We call it the toughest conference in the country, not because it is but because we say it is)