Nick Saban, head Coach of the University of Alabama Football program has gone on record, publicly stating he is not in favor of the limitations set on coaches making spring visits to recruit football players.  

The measure is quietly being called the "Saban Rule" in reference to Nick Sabans well documented spring recruiting sojourns.  Below is a quote attributed to Nick Saban taken from an excerpt from 'Bama Beat by Gentry Estes.

"I think it's ridiculous that we're doing what we're doing," Saban said this morning. "Basically, when you break it down, a head coach can go out in December, which is about two weeks if you're going to a bowl game. After all the dead periods in January, you get to go out for about two or three weeks and then its Signing Day. When you're talking about developing relationships and knowing players and meeting guidance counselors and talking to principals and all those kind of things, I think we're put ourselves at a tremendous disadvantage in terms of evaluation."

In Sabans defense he is at a disadvantage with other schools.  Nick is a very methodic recruiter and checks every aspect of a players life prior to tendering scholarship offers.  "I use checklists. That is the only way to ensure you get the quality of players you are looking for."

 Below is a checklist to ensure no stone is left unturned.

• Automobile Preferences: Make, Model, Color, Accessories, Manual or Automatic
• Job Preferences :  Current Jobs Still avaialble for scholarship players
  • Director of Turf Management (Waters Astro-turf 3 times per week)
  • Academic tudor project - Allows real students to work with underperforming scholarship athletes to keep thier eligibility
  • Used Car Saleman: Booster Auto Sales
• Police Record:  Any Criminal Activities
• Legal Review:  Check with School Lawyers to see if we can bail him out when it happens again
• Marketing Review: Check with Marketing team to see if we can "Spin" his criminal record.  (i.e. Sells Crack coacaine becomes "Is involved wth children in the community")
• Police Coordination: Will the local PD call me first when it happens again
• Home Life:  Do his parents need a new home or Auto, free of charge
• Coaches Influence: Do I need to give his coach a job to have him convince the recruit to go to my school. 
• Educational Interests: Is he looking for a specific course study or can we get him enrolled in our usual 'football' courses
• Educational Aspirations: Is he looking for a real degree (Probably a disqualifier)
• High School Grades:  Is he scholarship eligable or do I have to enroll him in a summer program called "Scholarship U" to get his GPA froma 1.8 to a 3.5 in 4 weeks.

Nick is correct when he says it puts you at a disadvantage.  Coordinating all of these activities is not easy. Its time consuming and you have to get input from many sources.  In the competitive world of College Athletics recruiting, If you have to go to three Boosters to find the right automobile it takes time. What if another school has a booster with that exact auto, you lose your competitve advantage.

Other considerations are I am a new coach at a school and I do not know if we have relations with the local police department or if we have classes 'just for football players'. 

I need to make committments to these kids.  My word is my bond and if I tell a football player he won't have to go to class then dammit I mean it.  I want to know that he will not have to go to class. 

Again it takes time to develop these essential tools and by eliminating spring recruiting, coaches are under a a great deal of pressure to make decisions.

There are others who differ in thier opinion of the rules change.  Some say that if all the coaches follow the rules there is no advantage or disadvantage.  Lastly if you recruit student athletes you may find it requires less coordination.

(Now before anyone gets thier panties in a bunch, this is all tongue in cheek and I am not accusing Bama of anything like this.  Take this as a light read)

SPIKE TV Ultimate Fighting Championship:  In the Under Card of the UFC Heavyweight Bout, Spike TV is Televising the first Under 7 Year Old UFC Championship Bout between Billy "The Mauler' Owens (61 Lbs) and Johnny " The 7 Year Old Assassin" Death (64 LBS).

Missouri is the first state to Authorize the UFC style competition for children.  "This'n is a big step for us Missourians.  We is tryin to ketch up with Allybamy in edu....eduma.....edumacation and affletics."  According to Governor Dumas (pronounced dumb-####) this is another sport that will keep the children in school, at least the ones that don't participate.

According to the Spike TV- UFC bios, both of these children have been training in MMA for several years even though they were un-aware of it. 

Biographies:  

Billy "The Mauler" Owens

• Age - 6. 
• Weight -61LBS.  
• Hobbies - Singing along with Potty trainng videos. 
• Most Proud Of - Knocked my eight year old sister out with a round house kick.
• Favorite MMA Move - The Sucker Punch - "Daddy gives me a sucker if I hurt People"

Johnny "The 7 Year Old Assassin" Death

• Age - 7
• Weight - 64 LBS
• Hobbies - "Kickin the #### outta kindergardeners"
• Most Proud Of - "I got a tattoo of Barney punching out Big Bird"
• Favorite MMA Move - Kicking.  I like Kicking people.

We spoke with the parents of both Billy and Johnny and asked how both got involved in MMA. 

Lester Owens: "Billy was always punchin thangs. I just figured I could make some money on it.  That boy is a terror.  We aint allowed to have pets cause a billy"

Ted Death -" Johnny was supended from school for punchin his teacher.  He didn't hurt her none but she deserved it.  The judge said he needed to get help so I got him in MMA.  Now he can punch with the big boys and she don't say nothing to him anymore." 

Both parents and the coaches agreed that by training the children in MMA, they are less likely to get into fights on the playground because they understand that MMA is for the ring only.  I asked how that point is being driven home. 

According to Lester Owens- "I don't know.  It just is"

PGA Issues Massive Fine: The PGA Tour Commisioner, Tim Finchem today issued a massive fine ($$$$$$) for the Tiger Woods profanity laced tirade at last weeks PGA Tour Event.  Commisioner Finchem, during his news conference, stated in a very direct and angry tone, 

 "This type of behavior will not be tolerated on the PGA tour.  The reputation of the tour is at stake.  I hope this sends the message that we play no favorites and you will be fined, regardless of who you are.  Therefore, the Photographer will be issued a $10,000 dollar fine and excluded from tour events until the fine is paid. "

The photographer, who  wished to remain annonymous, said he is 'not even a PGA tour journalist and feels the fine is un-enforceable as well as having no legal precedence.'

When asked why the PGA felt Tiger Woods was not responsible for his actions,  Mr Finchem synically laughed and said, "Come on, he clicked a camera! How is Tiger supposed to concentrate? He's lucky we only physically assualted him while throwing him off of the premises.  If he appeals this fine, we are prepeared to give Tiger Woods' Caddy, Steve Williams,  the photographers home phone number and address. That should tell you how serious we are."

During the press conference, one reporter asked Commisioner Finchem about fans cheering for a Tiger Woods Birdie on an adjacent hole  and how if that took place during another players backswing, how is that any different? Commisioner Finchem simply nodded his head and the reporter was savagely beaten by security.

Jimmy Roberts Missing:  In an unrelated story, Jimmy Roberts, former ESPN and now ABC golf analyst  was tragically flushed down the toilet this morning.  When Tiger was asked how this could happen, Tiger simply stated, "I got so used to him kissing my ####, I guess I just forgot he was down there. This is yet another distraction that I have to deal with.  This is so unfair"

Until a suitable replacement can be found, commisioner Finchem has volunteered to replace Jimmy Roberts.  Aside from Jimmy Roberts, no one knows his backside as well as I do.

It has been a busy week in sports despite the dearth of college and NFL football games.  Here is a short week in review.

Eli Manning Talks Smack at The Dinner Table - Tuesday evening, Archie had the clan over to house for dinner.  You could feel the tension in the room as Peyton was visibly upset by the constant smack talking by younger brother Eli. 

According to those at the meal, Ely asked Peyton, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table, to 'pass the mash potatoes'.  When Peyton handed them to Archie, Eli loudly exclaimed "The pass is intercepted and Peyton won't be going to the Super Bowl"

This barb was dismissed as more of a brotherly chidding until Eli offered to cut up Peyton's food in to small pieces to he doesn't CHOKE!!!!!!.  That's when the problems really started. 

Peyton retaliated by suggesting to his dad that they should all watch the super bowl together at his house and telling Eli he was invited to...... implying there is no way the giants are going to beat Packers.   The evening ended on a very tense note when Eli overheard Peyton talking to Brett Favre on his cell phone.

Randy Moss is Being Charged with Battery - This is absolutey ridiculous.  Randy Moss is one of the best wide receivers in the game today which makes him a Model Citizen.  If you don't believe me, just listen to the reports from ESPN and the game day announcers all year on what a model citizen Randy has become.  Apparently, when you have someone who can throw a football to Randy on Sunday afternoon, he undergoes a spectacular metamorphosis which turns him into a model citizen as evidenced by his inability to be arrested for drunk driving, smokin the weed, carrying unregistered weapons in his vehicle, or simple assualt over the past 12 months. 

Coming to the aid of Randy is his mentor and head coach Bill Belichik,  "I am eccstatic about Coach Belichiks faith in my innocence.  And when a guy with Bill's reputation for honesty and fair play is in your corner, there should be no doubt that you are innocent!  What other reason could he have for supporting me this late in the year? I mean come on, we only have one or two games left!"

According to Randy, this battery case  'was an accident'.    We were having a friendly discussion where she disagreed with me and then she accidently fell forward hitting her head on my open hand.  Three maybe four times.  At most. 

However this plays out, this reporter is looking forward to to the post randy moss era in football.  What will happen to Randy?  How will Randy survive without someone  throwing a football to him on sunday afternoon?  Will he revert back to his old habits?  A search is underway to find someone who will show up at Randy's home every sunday afternoon for the next 40 years to help keep him out of trouble and be the model citizen we know he can be.

Bobby Fisher Dead at 64 - Bobby Fisher, former world Chess Champion and Reykavik Icelands resident looney-toon  passed away on Thursday.   Does anyone really care if a bigoted anti-semite passes away? 

Roger Clemens Didn't Say Anything This Week - The most shocking event in sports this week was the absence of anything from Roger Clemens or his attorneys.  I for one belive Roger is telling the truth.  How can a 45 year old man who is approximately 12 years past his prime pitch in MLB with more success than he did in his earlier years?  EXERCISE! What else could it be.  Like I am supposed to believe that there is some miracle drug that made him better!  I'm not that stupid.   You want proof?  Chuck Knoblauch was accused of the same thing and he sucked!

Brian McNamee lied about Roger. He was dead on about everyone else but he lied about Roger. 

As for the Mitchell report, they should have given Roger the opportunity to defend himself before the report was issued.  I mean they only asked him twice.  Twice is how many times you ask Ron Villone.  You have to beg a superstar like Roger.  Senator mitchell made almost no effort to gravel before Roger to the level at which he is accustomed.  Case complete.  It was senator Mitchell's fault

Jim Rice Left Out Of The HOF, Again - Goose is in. Rice is out.  First off, goose and rice, maybe with a little seasoning, is a natural winner but only on a restauraunt menu.  In the MLB, Rice does is not good enough to make it into the HOF.  He was only a gold glove outfielder, League MVP, silver slugger award winner and the most feared hitter in baseball for 12 years. 

Who feared him the most; Pitchers or Reporters?  Well apparently it is the reporters who are still holding a grudge against Jim for refusing to answer thier inane often vaccous questions.  Rices biggest failure though seems to be he only batted .290 instead of .300 for his career.  Sure this puts him in the same category as Lou Gehrig, Micky Mantle, Willie Mays, Joe Dimaggio, Ted williams, and Stan Musial but those guys were better interviews (With the exception on Ted Williams, Lou Gehrig and Willie Mays).

Several reporters, who are voters for the hall of fame, expressed disgust over the HOF hoopla surrounding Jim Rice.   The consensus opinion appears to be 'Why does Jim Rice continue to think he will make it?  Does he think the HOF is only about carreer stats?  He ain't getting in as long as I have a vote!'

Kelly Tilghman Advocates Lynching - Kelly Tilghman, announcer and super hot golf analyst on the Golf channel was suspended for suggesting that the only way to stop Tiger woods was for the other golfers to #### tiger in an alley.  Kelly immediately realized her mistake and in an effort to correct that racially inflaming statement clarified her comment with the following.

"First off I don't want to imply that tiger woods would ever walk down an alley.  He lives in palm beach and they don't have alleys.  Well maybe if he was in a bowling alley but that is a different story copletely. 

'I also want to say that there are definitely other ways to stop Tiger.  You could shoot him, or stab him or even club him but lynching is out of the question.  Short of that I don't think the other golfers have any hope to beat him .  I hope I have been clear on this. "

Tiger and I have been friends for years.  I did call tiger and apologize and he said, 'It's cool, you are a super hot white chick.'

Today is my last blog.  I have enjoyed posting my skewed views on sports on this site, but for me the fun has always been in reading the views and opinions of everyone else.  While I am no longer posting, I will be a loyal reader.  As a parting note I want to say thanks to the individuals that I feel make this site what it is today.

Dwindy1 - Always thought provoking but the voice of reason in the daily war of words here on Fox

Edhardiman - Funniest writer out there

Brian Black - Never lose faith in MU (as if I have to tell that to you).  It was nice seeing someone as passionate about Mizzou as I am. 

OldSkewler - Great Minds think alike.  I just wish I had your thoughts before I read your articles instead of after.

Bayou Dog - Great Writer!  I just liked to bust on LSU. Always insightful and usually dead on

Scottstradamus -   Opinionated and correct!  A deadly combination.  Keep them coming.

Nostradamus - Statistical Guru and most knowelgable (my opinion) of the local writers.

Lisa H - It would be sexist to say you are the most knowlegeable Woman when it comes to college foot ball when I think you are one of the most knowlegable period.

Marty Walker - Your Loyatly to OSU makes most homers look like drive by fans.  Good Luck to OSU in NCG.

Gambitxxx - great posts and a true southern gentleman.

Sports Comedian - You are daily reading!

Hogger - I love your rants (passion) If you write about what you care about, you will always have a following.

I know I have left many more out but I have enjoyed reading all of your posts