Going into week 5:

 Tigers - Missouri scores an average of 54 points a game with a 33 point average margin of victory and get dropped in the polls. No Respect

 Rodney – I just flew back home.  I told the cabbie to take me someplace where I can meet a woman who will sleep with any guy, no questions asked.   He dropped me off at my house.  No Respect

 Tigers – In four Games, Chase Daniel and the 1st string offense have spent over 4 quarters on the sidelines while the 2nd and 3rd string finished up.  How good is this offense?  Polls say: No respect.

Rodney -When I was a kid I got no respect.  The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again." No respect.

 Tigers – According to CBS Sports line top 120, Missouri was ranked 26th in the country on Strength of schedule. Of the top 6 teams in the polls, only USC was ranked in front of Missouri.  The average SOS of the top 5 teams was 52.6. Missouri SOS was twice as tough and still got Dropped in the polls because they haven’t shown anyone they can beat good teams.  No Respect.

Rodney - When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through." No Respect

 Tigers  -  Going into Week 5 the Average points for and against the Top 5 teams in the country

• Average                                  PF                   PA                   SOS 
• USC,LSU,FLA, GA, OK         42                    14                    53  
• Missouri                                54                    21                    26

 Missouri Played tougher competition on average (twice as tough) and outscored the top ranked teams by 12 points.  Missouri gave up only 1/3 more points. Question is this, When the top 5 play tougher competition will they give up more points?  Still No Respect

 Rodney - I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect.  I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills."  He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.  No respect

After Week 5

Tigers – By the way the scores are in for week 5 and three of the top 5 in front of the Tigers lost.  The Polls are not out but I predict Missouri moves up one to two places.  No way they will not show the love to Bama at number 4 or 5. No Respect

Rodney - I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake.  He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer." No Respect

Tigers - Average scores for the top 5 this week   

• Average                                             PF                   PA                   SOS
• USC,LSU,FLA, GA, OK                   30                    27                    55
• Week 4 (same teams)                 42                    14                    53  

Points For - went down, Points Against - went up and SOS - went up. I tell ya, We don't get no Resect

Now for the rest of you who can’t get enough Rodney

• I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker.  I dropped my pants.  She dropped her price.
• I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy.  I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!  
• What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!  
• When I was a kid I got no respect.  The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
• I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!  
• What a dog I got.  His favorite bone is in my arm!
• Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.  
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years.  Then we met.  
• I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!  
• My doctor told me to watch my drinking.  Now I drink in front of a mirror.  I drink too much.  Way too much.  My doctor drew blood.  He ran a tab.  
• I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!  
• My mother had morning sickness after I was born.  
• My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.  
• When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.  
• I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.  
• One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.  
• I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father.  He said he wanted more proof.  
• My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap.  He was in the electric chair.  
• Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."  
• I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."  
• When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.  
• I had a lot of pimples too.  One day I fell asleep in a library.  I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.  
• My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.  
• Last week my tie caught on fire.  Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!  
• I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.  
• One time I went to a hotel.  I asked the bellhop to handle my bag.  He felt up my wife!  
• This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.  
• I'm a bad lover.  Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.  
• My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night she used me to time an egg.  
• It's tough to stay married.  My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!  
• My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."  
• Last night my wife met me at the front door.  She was wearing a sexy negligee.  The only trouble was, she was coming home. 
• A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over.  Nobody was home!  
• A hooker once told me she had a headache.  
• I was making love to this girl and she started crying.  I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."  
• I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her. 
• I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife. 
• During sex my wife always wants to talk to me.  Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
• My marriage is on the rocks again.  Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
• One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."
• I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up.  What's wrong with me?  He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
• I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow.  He told me to wear a brown necktie.
• My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy.  I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion."  He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"
• I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!
• When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
• And we were poor too.  Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!
•  

It is time to recap the past month, a tragedy of errors that is Brett Favre.  Not being from Wisconsin, not working for ESPN and owning a modicum of common sense qualifies me to weigh in on the subject in an objective manner.  You may not agree with my thoughts, which is fine, but Brett needs a wakeup call.

Retired, Retired, Retired – In the real world, you retire once.  You accept your gold watch and pension and find something else you are passionate about.  Something you want to spend the rest of your life doing.   Brett apparently likes the act of retiring because he seems to be spending the rest of MY life doing that exact thing.  In the real world, no one wants a guy that quits every year. Maybe that is one reason you are not welcome back.

Throwing Management Under the Bus - I have seen other great athletes retire multiple times.  It’s nothing new.  But Brett seems to want to throw the team ownership and management under the bus before each retirement, stating the ownership is not doing enough to make the Packers winners.  Last time I checked, there are only two individuals who touch the ball every offensive snap and only one of them gets decide how the play is run.  That is why the Quarterback is the highest paid position in the league.  The Quarterback determines to a great extent how successful the team is.  One Super Bowl win in his career with the talent that Brett was surrounded by?  I don’t recall Brett holding press conferences to retire because he failed to do enough to help the team win.  (When you tell the world the management is not doing enough to help the team win (See Javon Walker Last year) by extension, you are telling your team mates they are not good enough to win, which leads to my next point on leadership). In the real world, blaming others for your failures causes them to not welcome you back.

Brett Lacks Leadership – Leadership is not having a great arm. Leadership is not reading defenses.  Leadership is not defined in times of success.  Leadership is the character you display when things are tough and people look to you.  Thank god Brett the warrior did not choose to go into the military.  He would have quit the minute the first sign of difficulty started.  Leaders don’t talk about their team as thought they are not capable of winning, leaders encourage and coach to get the most of their team mates. In the real world, when you malign the quality of your teammates you are usually not welcomed back.

Brett Initiates Tampering - Brett initiated the conversations with the Minnesota Vikings, ostensibly only to discuss his retirement with an old friend.  I have a few problems with a guy who initiates a conversation with his chief competitors, then after several weeks of discussion about his return, says he wants to be traded but will only talk with the same team he initiated contact with.  Not only does he not want to talk with teams other than the Vikings, he also defended the Vikings against his current team on the Tampering Charges.  Would Brett have defended the Vikings had they spoken with Reggie White or Antonio Freeman and those individuals stated they wanted to leave the Packers to go to Minnesota? 

Loyalty is a two way street.  Don't malign your team publicly, quit when you dont feel like they are showing you the love and loyalty you deserve and then seek out the competition. Where is the loyalty in that.  In the real world, when you call on a competitor, leverage your relationship with the competitor against your own company and then defend the competitor against your company, you are usually not welcome back.

Brett’s Threats – When you want to threaten you team, you use threats like holding out, (Steven Jackson) going on the IR (Chad Johnson), will not give 100% (Randy Moss),  retiring (Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Favre). 

Threatening your team with returning should not be considered a threat.  When you believe that you are threatening your team with returning, you are acknowledging that you are the problem. You are willing to subject your teammates to that distraction for your own personal reasons.  You are threatening the team with your presence.  Is that the quality of a leader you are looking for?

Brett may be right when his mom said that the Packers made it clear they did not want him back.  Lack of Leadership, Quitter Mentality, Publicly disparaging your team, management and ownership, Petulant tantrums because people are not begging him to come back are all reasons that maybe you are not welcome back. 

Football is a business. It was a business decision to not bring Brett back. Brett retired.  The company needed to move on. Like any good company, GB was developing a young player to step in and take over. GB took care of business.  Every company loses personnel.  Good companies are prepared  for the loses.  In the real world, bringing back a problem is never in any companies best interest.  

How big a problem is Brett?  What is it worth to not have Brett Back?

$20 Million to $1 you get the answer right.

$20 Million to $1 Brett gets it wrong. 

John Clayton of ESPN reports that a trade involving Brett Farve to the Minnesota Vikings was completed late Thursday evening.  As part of the agreement, the packers agreed to pick up 5 Million of Brett’s salary this year in exchange for a 9th and a 10th round draft choice in 2015.

Within minutes of signing a new contract with the Vikings, Brett immediately retired stating he did not have the emotional will to come back for another season. 

While Brett did not call a press conference to make a formal announcement, his decision was conveyed through his mommy and his brother.  Brad Childress was apparently the most stunned by this announcement especially when one considers the Brads role in Tampering coaxing Brett out of retirement.  (By the way, did anyone notice that Brett defended the Vikings on tampering charges but they are the only team he is willing to be traded to?)

Brett’s Mommy offered this statement on her son’s retirement.    “Brett has considered this moment long and hard and feels he is emotionally spent and unable to commit to the game.  He has given his life to this game he loves but feels it is time to hang up his cleats and quietly go off into retirement.  BESIDES, MINNESOTA NEVER REALLY WANTED HIM!  THEY MADE THAT CLEAR JUST BY THE WAY THEY TRADED FOR HIM. BRAD CHILDRESS AND THE OWNERSHIP OF THE VIKINGS NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION OF TREATING HIM FAIRLY.”

Brett’s mother cut the interview short by stating it was time to change Brett’s Huggies and put him down for a nap.

In an unrelated story, Brett left a charity event for orphan’s moments after arriving stating that the orphans never really wanted to see him.  If they had they would have brought their parents.  It’s like they are ashamed to be seen with me.

Brett Sets New NFL Record

With his latest retirement, Brett has set the new single season record and career record for retirements by a single player. Out of the game for only minutes and yet the records continue to fall almost as fast as his credibility.

Nick Saban, head Coach of the University of Alabama Football program has gone on record, publicly stating he is not in favor of the limitations set on coaches making spring visits to recruit football players.  

The measure is quietly being called the "Saban Rule" in reference to Nick Sabans well documented spring recruiting sojourns.  Below is a quote attributed to Nick Saban taken from an excerpt from 'Bama Beat by Gentry Estes.

"I think it's ridiculous that we're doing what we're doing," Saban said this morning. "Basically, when you break it down, a head coach can go out in December, which is about two weeks if you're going to a bowl game. After all the dead periods in January, you get to go out for about two or three weeks and then its Signing Day. When you're talking about developing relationships and knowing players and meeting guidance counselors and talking to principals and all those kind of things, I think we're put ourselves at a tremendous disadvantage in terms of evaluation."

In Sabans defense he is at a disadvantage with other schools.  Nick is a very methodic recruiter and checks every aspect of a players life prior to tendering scholarship offers.  "I use checklists. That is the only way to ensure you get the quality of players you are looking for."

 Below is a checklist to ensure no stone is left unturned.

• Automobile Preferences: Make, Model, Color, Accessories, Manual or Automatic
• Job Preferences :  Current Jobs Still avaialble for scholarship players
  • Director of Turf Management (Waters Astro-turf 3 times per week)
  • Academic tudor project - Allows real students to work with underperforming scholarship athletes to keep thier eligibility
  • Used Car Saleman: Booster Auto Sales
• Police Record:  Any Criminal Activities
• Legal Review:  Check with School Lawyers to see if we can bail him out when it happens again
• Marketing Review: Check with Marketing team to see if we can "Spin" his criminal record.  (i.e. Sells Crack coacaine becomes "Is involved wth children in the community")
• Police Coordination: Will the local PD call me first when it happens again
• Home Life:  Do his parents need a new home or Auto, free of charge
• Coaches Influence: Do I need to give his coach a job to have him convince the recruit to go to my school. 
• Educational Interests: Is he looking for a specific course study or can we get him enrolled in our usual 'football' courses
• Educational Aspirations: Is he looking for a real degree (Probably a disqualifier)
• High School Grades:  Is he scholarship eligable or do I have to enroll him in a summer program called "Scholarship U" to get his GPA froma 1.8 to a 3.5 in 4 weeks.

Nick is correct when he says it puts you at a disadvantage.  Coordinating all of these activities is not easy. Its time consuming and you have to get input from many sources.  In the competitive world of College Athletics recruiting, If you have to go to three Boosters to find the right automobile it takes time. What if another school has a booster with that exact auto, you lose your competitve advantage.

Other considerations are I am a new coach at a school and I do not know if we have relations with the local police department or if we have classes 'just for football players'. 

I need to make committments to these kids.  My word is my bond and if I tell a football player he won't have to go to class then dammit I mean it.  I want to know that he will not have to go to class. 

Again it takes time to develop these essential tools and by eliminating spring recruiting, coaches are under a a great deal of pressure to make decisions.

There are others who differ in thier opinion of the rules change.  Some say that if all the coaches follow the rules there is no advantage or disadvantage.  Lastly if you recruit student athletes you may find it requires less coordination.

(Now before anyone gets thier panties in a bunch, this is all tongue in cheek and I am not accusing Bama of anything like this.  Take this as a light read)

Jose Canseco’s new book "Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and The Battle to Save Baseball," dishes the dirt on Baseball, Major Leaguers and the Steroid Era.  This book does for baseball what Hillary and Bill did to the Presidency,…..dragging it through the mud and pointing fingers at everyone to make himself feel better.  

 Canseco uses this book as a self  serving slap in the face of Major League Baseball in an attempt to get back something Jose gave away early in his career, something called integrity.  By pointing an accusatory finger at others, Jose hopes that everyone will say he always told the truth and is doing more to clean up the game than Bud Selig.

  Jose remains an un-abashed advocate of steroids and cheating to get ahead while calling foul on everyone who did the same.  To hear Jose talk, I am not sure when he found time to play baseball as he was too busy brokering Steroid Deals for every significant major leaguer in the past 20 years. 

All of that said, lost in political drama of the book are several revelations that failed to make media headlines.  I am not sure if it is because they are a lame attempt to associate his own name with other noteworthy people and events or because they can neither be proved nor disproved, placing Jose again as the only witness and giving him a self-important place in history.  Here is brief rundown of Jose’s other claims in the book.

####lord Perry approached Jose about scoring an Emory Board (Nail file) and some Vaseline while Jose was still in the minors.  Jose said it actually added several years to ####lord Perry’s career but ####lord never once said thank you.

Ricky Henderson was such a God Fearing Man that he refused to steal anything… including bases.  Jose talked him into stealing his first base and the rest is history.  He now refers to Ricky as a clepto-maniac and says it all because of him.

                                            
         He was approached by Bernard Malamaud about a new book he was writing called “The Un-Natural” It was a follow up to his original book “The Natural” which was made into a movie starring Robert Redford and Robert Duval.  According to Jose, this is a story about a Super Smart, Super Good Looking, Super Talented Baseball Prospect who was shot, (with Steroids) disappeared for a few weeks, and came back to be the greatest player in the game.  He refused to be associated with the project as he felt there was no actor good looking enough or smart enough to play him.

 He is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s half brother.  They were genetically designed in a secret government lab.

Jose Shot Lee Harvey Oswald and is an American Hero.

 Babe Ruth Appeared to him in a dream and told him he was supposed to break his home-run record, not Barry Bonds.

He has proof Pete Rose DIDN’T bet on baseball games but he is waiting for the right time to release the information.

Before Ted Williams died, Ted dis-owned his son and adopted Jose. That is the reason that Teds son, John Henry  moved quickly to have the will declared void and provided a questionable version of the will.....called a 'Family Pact' 

Cal Ripken wanted to sit out a game in 1985 against the Oakland As.  He called Cal a sissy and told him to “Toughen Up and Be A Man”.  That particular day stuck with Cal the rest of his career and it is why Cal holds the record for the most consecutive games played.  He said Cal never once said thank you.

According to Jose, everyone associated with these events will deny these claims, once again proving he is the only honest man left in the county.