Jose Canseco’s new book "Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and The Battle to Save Baseball," dishes the dirt on Baseball, Major Leaguers and the Steroid Era. This book does for baseball what Hillary and Bill did to the Presidency,…..dragging it through the mud and pointing fingers at everyone to make himself feel better.
Canseco uses this book as a self serving slap in the face of Major League Baseball in an attempt to get back something Jose gave away early in his career, something called integrity. By pointing an accusatory finger at others, Jose hopes that everyone will say he always told the truth and is doing more to clean up the game than Bud Selig.
Jose remains an un-abashed advocate of steroids and cheating to get ahead while calling foul on everyone who did the same. To hear Jose talk, I am not sure when he found time to play baseball as he was too busy brokering Steroid Deals for every significant major leaguer in the past 20 years.
All of that said, lost in political drama of the book are several revelations that failed to make media headlines. I am not sure if it is because they are a lame attempt to associate his own name with other noteworthy people and events or because they can neither be proved nor disproved, placing Jose again as the only witness and giving him a self-important place in history. Here is brief rundown of Jose’s other claims in the book.
####lord Perry approached Jose about scoring an Emory Board (Nail file) and some Vaseline while Jose was still in the minors. Jose said it actually added several years to ####lord Perry’s career but ####lord never once said thank you.
Ricky Henderson was such a God Fearing Man that he refused to steal anything… including bases. Jose talked him into stealing his first base and the rest is history. He now refers to Ricky as a clepto-maniac and says it all because of him.
He was approached by Bernard Malamaud about a new book he was writing called “The Un-Natural” It was a follow up to his original book “The Natural” which was made into a movie starring Robert Redford and Robert Duval. According to Jose, this is a story about a Super Smart, Super Good Looking, Super Talented Baseball Prospect who was shot, (with Steroids) disappeared for a few weeks, and came back to be the greatest player in the game. He refused to be associated with the project as he felt there was no actor good looking enough or smart enough to play him.
He is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s half brother. They were genetically designed in a secret government lab.
Jose Shot Lee Harvey Oswald and is an American Hero.
Babe Ruth Appeared to him in a dream and told him he was supposed to break his home-run record, not Barry Bonds.
He has proof Pete Rose DIDN’T bet on baseball games but he is waiting for the right time to release the information.
Before Ted Williams died, Ted dis-owned his son and adopted Jose. That is the reason that Teds son, John Henry moved quickly to have the will declared void and provided a questionable version of the will.....called a 'Family Pact'
Cal Ripken wanted to sit out a game in 1985 against the Oakland As. He called Cal a sissy and told him to “Toughen Up and Be A Man”. That particular day stuck with Cal the rest of his career and it is why Cal holds the record for the most consecutive games played. He said Cal never once said thank you.
According to Jose, everyone associated with these events will deny these claims, once again proving he is the only honest man left in the county.
SPIKE TV Ultimate Fighting Championship: In the Under Card of the UFC Heavyweight Bout, Spike TV is Televising the first Under 7 Year Old UFC Championship Bout between Billy "The Mauler' Owens (61 Lbs) and Johnny " The 7 Year Old Assassin" Death (64 LBS).
Missouri is the first state to Authorize the UFC style competition for children. "This'n is a big step for us Missourians. We is tryin to ketch up with Allybamy in edu....eduma.....edumacation and affletics." According to Governor Dumas (pronounced dumb-####) this is another sport that will keep the children in school, at least the ones that don't participate.
According to the Spike TV- UFC bios, both of these children have been training in MMA for several years even though they were un-aware of it.
Biographies:
Billy "The Mauler" Owens
Age - 6.
Weight -61LBS.
Hobbies - Singing along with Potty trainng videos.
Most Proud Of - Knocked my eight year old sister out with a round house kick.
Favorite MMA Move - The Sucker Punch - "Daddy gives me a sucker if I hurt People"
Most Proud Of - "I got a tattoo of Barney punching out Big Bird"
Favorite MMA Move - Kicking. I like Kicking people.
We spoke with the parents of both Billy and Johnny and asked how both got involved in MMA.
Lester Owens: "Billy was always punchin thangs. I just figured I could make some money on it. That boy is a terror. We aint allowed to have pets cause a billy"
Ted Death -" Johnny was supended from school for punchin his teacher. He didn't hurt her none but she deserved it. The judge said he needed to get help so I got him in MMA. Now he can punch with the big boys and she don't say nothing to him anymore."
Both parents and the coaches agreed that by training the children in MMA, they are less likely to get into fights on the playground because they understand that MMA is for the ring only. I asked how that point is being driven home.
According to Lester Owens- "I don't know. It just is"
Today is my last blog. I have enjoyed posting my skewed views on sports on this site, but for me the fun has always been in reading the views and opinions of everyone else. While I am no longer posting, I will be a loyal reader. As a parting note I want to say thanks to the individuals that I feel make this site what it is today.
Dwindy1 - Always thought provoking but the voice of reason in the daily war of words here on Fox
Edhardiman - Funniest writer out there
Brian Black - Never lose faith in MU (as if I have to tell that to you). It was nice seeing someone as passionate about Mizzou as I am.
OldSkewler - Great Minds think alike. I just wish I had your thoughts before I read your articles instead of after.
Bayou Dog - Great Writer! I just liked to bust on LSU. Always insightful and usually dead on
Scottstradamus - Opinionated and correct! A deadly combination. Keep them coming.
Nostradamus - Statistical Guru and most knowelgable (my opinion) of the local writers.
Lisa H - It would be sexist to say you are the most knowlegeable Woman when it comes to college foot ball when I think you are one of the most knowlegable period.
Marty Walker - Your Loyatly to OSU makes most homers look like drive by fans. Good Luck to OSU in NCG.
Gambitxxx - great posts and a true southern gentleman.
Sports Comedian - You are daily reading!
Hogger - I love your rants (passion) If you write about what you care about, you will always have a following.
I know I have left many more out but I have enjoyed reading all of your posts
The BCS has just announced they will incorporate new standards for the 2008 BCS calculations. These changes came at the behest of BCS Commissioner and SEC Commissioner Mike Slive. Added to the mix will be Quality Losses.
Quality Losses - There will be two types of Quality Losses evaluated.
Losses to teams ranked lower than you that you should never lose to. These will be viewed as aberrations and completely discounted
Losses to teams in overtime that you should not have lost to. - The Losing Team will actually be given credit for losing in overtime vs losing in regulation time. The deeper into the overtime you go, the better for you. Losing in 3 overtimes is like winning a game and losing in 5 overtimes is like blowing out the team you just lost to. Losing in 6 Overtimes is like beating the #1 team in the country unless of course you are the number one team in the country
Opponents of the measure have argued that a team could jump from say #7 ........to say #2 based on "Quality Losses" if they go deep enough into OT. Mike Slive confirmed this fear by saying "Yup, sure can but this is designed to be more of a tie breaker at seasons end when comparing a team the networks want in a BCS Bowl Game vs teams they don't want."
Asked how this is different than 2007, Mr Slive said "It isn't."
The Yankees have made it official. They have named Phil Hughs as thier stopper. Phil Hughs, one of the prized Pinstrip Prospects, is a starting pitcher, but his primnary role is to stop the Boston Red Sox from aquiring Johan Santana.
"Wow, this is an honor!' said Phil from the greyhound bus headed to Minnesota. "The Yankees are the most prestigous team in all of Major League Baseball, so just to be thrown in a deal like this after the fact is pretty great."
Hughs was 5-3 with a 4.43 ERA in 2006.
Hank Steinbrenner, Yankees tyrant in training said, "Phil is a nobody! I throw guys like him in deals all the time. " When asked how Hank thought that including Hughs in the deal to acquire Santana from the Twins would come about if Phil was a nobody, Hank stated, "Come on, this is Minnesota were talking about."
The other player offered in the deal with the Twins is Infield Power Hitter Melky Cabrera. When asked how the Yanks would replace Cabrera's double play production from the plate and his post season .158 BA, Hank Steinbrenner indicated, "We are looking at making Roger Clemens a DH"
"The only way to keep (Santana) from the Red Sox is to get him," a Yankees official told the Post. "You can't hope some other team does it for you. Hey, we took this approach with Bobby Abreu, Jason Giambi and Ron Villone and look how that has paid off."
My Grandma told me many years ago "It is better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt"
What does she know!!!!
Father of two, Husband of One, and hero to none.
I was once asked to describe myself and I had to refer to my wifes description of me.
"When you were young and good looking...... .... you were mostly just young!"
How is that for being grounded in reality? From my loving wife.
Canseco uses this book as a self serving slap in the face of Major League Baseball in an attempt to get back something Jose gave away early in his career, something called integrity. By pointing an accusatory finger at others, Jose hopes that everyone will say he always told the truth and is doing more to clean up the game than Bud Selig. 
Cal Ripken wanted to sit out a game in 1985 against the Oakland As. He called Cal a sissy and told him to “Toughen Up and Be A Man”. That particular day stuck with Cal the rest of his career and it is why Cal holds the record for the most consecutive games played. He said Cal never once said thank you.
