This is a theoretical poll based on ESPN hyperbole.  (If you knew nothing about college football and did not watch the games, and only listened to ESPN, who would be ranked in the Top 10

10) Brigham Young - Stays at # 10 after giving up 14 points.  Thier last three games they have given up a total of 14 points (4.6 Points per game).   Why are they not rated higher after beating out thier last three opponents by a combined score of 136 -14?  We still have questions about thier defense and their ability to beat teams from conferences other than the Pac 1.

9)  Ohio State - Just played thier way back into National Championship Contention by beating Wisconsin. The arrival of Beanie Wells and Terrell Pryor launching a 4th quarter come from behind victory means we can again begin to hype them well beyond thier actual on field performance.  Wisconsin is not the kind of team that will lose close games in the 4th quarter to teams like Michigan or Ohio State so this was a very convincing victory. We at ESPN are excited about another NCG in the Rose bowl against USC.  This would be the second time the "Greatest Game of the Century" will be played by these two teams this year.  (This potential BCS game is our backup plan in the event the SEC teams knock each other off due to the "Parity in the SEC.")

8) Florida- They too continue to move up the polls after thier dismantling of an underrated Arkansas team.  This is a very good Arkansas team capable of beating any team not in the SEC on any given day and they took this talent laden Florida team into the 4th quarter only trailing by 10.  For Flordia to dominate the 4th quarter the way they did  talks about the character....blah blah.....heart...Yadda Yadda Yadda ....discipline..etc etc....coaching excellence......at Florida. 

Why was this game so close? Parity Exists in the SEC!........ Hey, We're not making this up!!!!

7) Texas - Colt McCoy is not only the best quarterback in the the Big 12, he is the best in the country and we will put our reputation on it.  Last week they beat a very bad Arkansas team by 42.  Because Arkansas is so bad offensively,  we still have a lot of quesitons about Texas'  defense.   This week they gave up 14 points to Colorado and barely won by 24.  The questions about thier defense remain.

6) Missouri - Chase Daniel is not only the best quarterback in the the Big 12, he is the best in the country and we will put our reputation on it. .......This was our "ESPN Upset Watch" game of the week.  We anticipated the game to be a tight affair with Mizzou a 10 Point favorite but we were convinced an Upset was in the making.  We had a lot of questions about the Mizzou Defense and we knew this Husker team could score in bunches.  The Nebraska offense took the Mizzou defense down to the final tick of the game clock. scoring a touchdown with with no time left, bringing the margin of loss down to 35.   We at ESPN are so pissed that Mizzou made us look foolish (again) we dropped them this week just for spite.   And we still have questions about thier defense.

 5) USC - USC continues to move up the polls this week jumping Mizzou, following a start to finish white washing of Oregon. Despite Oregons record of 4 and 2, this team is the real deal with victories over Purdue, Utah State and Washington and Washington State.  When USC can beat a team like Oregon who has faced the best of the best, we are convinced they can beat anybody.  Even if they cant beat anybody named Oregon State (with a 2-3 record) THEY ARE STILL THE BEST TEAM IN THE COUNTRY UNTIL WE SAY THEY AREN'T.  So stop all your whining about them being ranked so high. 

4) Penn State -  The way State Penn shut down the potent Purdue offense is a tribute to Joe Paterno. Camera shots of Joe Pa, wearing a head set, motivating the team, barking out plays,  through his assistant coaches, from the coaches box at the top the stadium, reminds us at ESPN of another legendary coach who no longer coaches, Bobby Bowden.  What makes this team so special is the fact that Coach Paterno may actually be in a coma and still racking up victories to stay ahead of coach Bowden.  By the way, both coaches were just offered 20 year extensions on thier contracts.  We may see Joe PA racking up victories for years to come, albeit frozen in a cryogenic chamber rolled into the coaches box each week. 

3) Oklahoma - Sam Bradford is not only the best quarterback in the the Big 12, he is the best in the country and we will put our reputation on it.........This however was still not the victory we were looking for from OU.  Baylor is a very bad team and OU still gave up 17 Points.  OU still lacks the mental toughness and questions about thier defense will continue to hurt the publics perception of them if we at ESPN have anything to say about it........(And we do!!!!!)

2) LSU - Stayed at # 2 this week since they had a bye.  We dont believe in Jumping teams over SEC teams who had bye weeks.  We believe in Jumping SEC teams over other teams who have bye weeks. 

1) Alabama - Wow!!!!! is all we at ESPN can say about Alabama's 3 point victory over Kentucky.   The 38th ranked team in the country took the number one ranked Tide to the final ticks of the clock.  Time to dig deep into the hyperbole well tp justify this one:

• They showed character holding off a very underated  KY team
• We talk about Parity in the SEC but this game showed it. 
• A lesser team would have fallen
• Nick Saban Coached teams have the mental toughness it takes to win
• Every team is tested and this week Bama came through like champions
• They could have looked forward to thier bye week next week but they didn't . They played this game like the national championship game was on the line

The Big Losers - Texas Tech - We at ESPN cannot believe that the Big 12 Has 6 teams in the top 20  and 4 in the top 10.  Texas Tech was gonna get jobbed regardless cause we cant put more Big 12 Teams in the Top Ten than we have SEC teams. Our reasoning for leaving them out is " We know Mizzou...Oklahoma.....Texas ........Texas Tech can score in bunches but we have questions about thier defense. 

The Big Winners - College football fans.  We guarantee you the best National Championship game we can sell to the Networks.  Take our word for it.

On a side note, We at ESPN are changing our Tag Line from "The Total Sports Network" to

"WE ARE ESPN and WE WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOUR OPINION WILL BE!"

This is a theoretical poll based on ESPN hyperbole.  (If you knew nothing about college football and did not watch the games, who would be ranked in the Top 10

10) Brigham Young - Moves up to # 10 after not allowing a single point for three Straight weeks (Well one of them was a Bye).  Why are they not rated higher after beating out thier last two opponents by a combined score of 102 -0?  It has something to do with thier conference not being as good as other conferences or something like that........I thought we evaluated teams on thier wins......BUT NOT IN THE ESPN HYPERBOLE POLE

9)  Ohio State - Just played thier way back into National Championship Contention by beating Minnesota. The arrival of Beanie Wells and Terrell Pryor means we can again begin to hype them well beyond thier actual performance.  We mathematically figured out that they can still go undefeated in the Big 10 and make it back to the top 2 if every team in front of them loses only once.  This practically ensures the SEC of another NCG victory.  OSU is not really good enought to be in the top 10 but if we didnt have them at number 9 we would have to move BYU up.

8) Georgia - Trailed by 31 at half time.  Why were they not dropped lower following a first half performance that made us think about Ohio State's futility against USC two weeks earlier?  We were able to keep them in the top 10 by Jumping Alabama over everyone so the loss didnt seem so bad.  

7) Florida - Dropped clear to number 7 in this weeks poll.   Sure they were outplayed for 4 quarters.  Sure they lost to a team ranked outside the top 70.  But Florida did not lose that Game.  Thier kicker lost the game.  Not the line that failed to stop the 5 Mississipi defenders from getting into the backfield the same time as the snap.  Besides Kickers arent really part of the game.  Penalizing them for the kickers mistake is just wrong.  At least they never trailed by 31 at half.

6)  USC - USC would have dropped out of the top 10 were it not for the losses by GA, and Florida.  With them ranked ahead of Ga and Florida and not wanting to have less than 4 SEC teams in the Top 10, we had to put them in at 6 cause we kept GA and FLA in at #7 and #8.  Sure they lost but they were still ranked higher than GA and Florida so it seems unfair to punish USC for losing first.

5) Missouri - Missouri had a bye this week so we were fully justified in not moving them up even though 3 teams in front of them lost. (We werent going to move them up anyway, we just got lucky that we were able to jump a few teams over them by claiming they destroyed thier oppenents).  The reality is Missouri's only real competition came from a highly over-rated Illinois team in week one.  Sure Illinois scored a touchdown on the last Play of the came to bring the margin of victory down to 10 and sure Mizzou put up 52 against them but that is not what we call an impressive victory over a talented and determined team.

4) Penn State -  This was a victory over a a very talented and determined Illinois team. This  was the hallmark victory we were lookng for to get them into the top 5.  Penn State got fat on cupcakes the first few weeks but this Illinois team was the type of victory that we like to see from Top 5 Teams.  This could be the most talented team USC ....er!...eh!...Penn State has ever fielded.  Can someone clean up the @$#! queue cards!!??!!!?!

3) Oklahoma - Stayed at number three because of a lack luster performance against a top 25 Team.  This is the same lackluster performance we have been predicting all year and sure enough they only beat them by 25 Points.  We Dropped Missouri for winning by 21 the week prior.  We wont drop OU this week but they better watch thier #### moving forward. 

2) LSU - Jumped to number 2 following the most impressive display over a very talented (1-4) Mississipi State. This LSU team looks every bit as good as the 7th ranked team from last year that we jumped over everyone in the final poll of the season to get into the National Championship game after being ranked number one twice and and losing.  We may have to do the same thing again but we learned our lesson.  Keep em close to number 1 and it's easier to hide the bias.

1) Alabama - This is the greatest team Penn State .....eh.....USC.....ER.......Alabama has ever fielded and may be the best team ever in the history of the game.   When you jump out to a 31-0 lead on a world beater like Ga has been this year and then hold on for a 10 point win, you deserve to jump eveyone into the number one spot.

The Big Losers - Well based on the scores it would be USC, GA, and FLA.  If we go by the ESPN Hyperbole Poll the Big losers are BYU, Southern FLA, Texas and Texas Tech.

The Big Winners - Every SEC team.  The cream of the SEC got knocked out by the dregs of the SEC so instead of dropping GA, FLA LSU down in the polls, we will move the Entire SEC into the top 25.    ( We call it the toughest conference in the country, not because it is but because we say it is)

This is a theoretical poll based on ESPN hyperbole.  (If you knew nothing about college football and did not watch the games, who would be ranked in the Top 10

# 1 USC - Is the consensus # 1 in every poll and should be.  The real question at this point is who do they play in the NCG.    ESPN crowned them last night.

# 2 Florida - Following this weeks bye they hold on to thier number 2 position.  They have Heisman Trophy winner and candidate TimTebow, no running game, and beat Miami who is currently ranked in the TOP 40.  Those three factors alone make them a top 5 team.  ESPN was very impressed with the way Florida handled thier week off

# 3 Oklahoma  - OK dismantled and embarrassed Washington so why is OK number three?  Because ESPN is afraid OK will have a mental lapse and lose one this year.  Are you kidding me?  That is what they say every week about OU.  What is that based on?  The fact they they have lost one to two games every year for the past 3 years?  Hell by that logic. USC should be number three.  OK should be number 2 but this is the ESPN Hyperbole Poll so we can discount performance on the field

#4 Georgia  - Should Georgia be dropped for its Lack luster performance against South Carolina?  Not according to the Game Day Announcers who used the the Phrase 'showed Character in coming back and holding on for the win'.  WTF??????

Character is what teams display when they are facing an opponent who is bigger, strong aand faster but they go out and make the game competitive.  Character is rarely used when a team is bigger stronger and faster than their opponent and they go out and get slapped around for four quarters. 

Lastly, is there any place in the polls for character?  We rate Strength of Schedule  and Margin of Victory, but those both actually penalize teams that display "Character" by squeaking by teams that will not be bowl eligible.

#  5 LSU - This is the spot vacated by Ohio State after thier loss to USC.  LSU leaps over Missouri into the # 5  ranking following thier victory over North Texas.  Now there are detractors that may say LSU has scheduled two Sunbelt opponents and a D-II school to start thier season so they may nor deserve to be in the top 5 let alone jump any other schools. 

There are some detractors that may even say,       "Why does fox sports rate the top 119 college football team?" Answer "Because if they only rated the top 100 the Sunbelt Conference would be left out."

And why not jump LSU over other teams. Is there any precedence for jumping a team over other deserving teams. Hmmmm?

# 6 Ohio State - I .......MUST.......RATE.....THEM........LOWER!?!?

but I just dont have the ability to do it no matter how bad they play.  And really, they played USC on the road, without Beanie Wells, and it was against USC, 

ESPN has a real problem not including them in a the NCG picture so dropping them more than 1 place isn't too likely to happen

#7 Missouri - Sure every poll has them at number 6 and they would seem the logical choice to move up to number 5 but as we pointed out LSU has dominated thier opposition this year and OSU can't be dropped more than one place so Missouri is the odd team out.

Really though, what has Missouri done this year, 

• Beat two top 40 teams, One top 25 team,
• Averaged 57.6 points per game,
• Give up 20 points per game. 

 Why are they not ranked higher?  Why were they dropped out of the BCS last year?  Because they are not named USC, FLorida, Georgia, Oklahoma, LSU, or Ohio State.

#8 Penn State - What a great story for Joe Pa!  All the distractions, the onset of senility and the dominant wins over three teams that wont sniff the Top 80 in the final poll of the year.   We had to bump them up to the top 10. 

#9 Notre Dame - Does Notre Dame have what it takes to beat any team that does not turn the ball over 6 times and spot them 21 points (By the way Michigan outplayed ND 17-14 the rest of the way, dominating in time of Possession and Yardage)  

ESPN also showed Lou Holtz at the ND Pep Rally telling the student body that they need to go out and win because..Blah Blah Blah.........Its God's will....Blah Blah Blah ....We're Notre Dame!!!!  (everyone cheers)  WTF????

Does God really want Notre Dame to win? Did God tell Lou that he wants ND to win?  Can't God just make Notre Dame win?  If God likes Notre Dame so much why did he saddle them with Jimmy Clausen and Charlie Weiss?

Still though they have to be ranked number 9 to keep them BCS eligible and keep Lou Holtz from going postal.  (One would think scheduling Navy Syracuse, Stanford, Washington, Michigan and San Diego State would have kept them BCS Eligible on thier own but ND is not that good.)

# 10 ECU - We have to have a BCS Buster or we cant create controversy.  (Cause College football isnt exciting enough on its own.  "WE" are ESPN and "WE" make college football ,(exciting or whatever the hell we want it to be)

College Football is back and everyone has a favorite part of the season. Everyone likes the football.  Some like the Bowl Games, some like the Polls, some are pure "Homers"  (Nothing wrong with that), and some like the constant and often inane insight the ESPN Gameday crew bring to our living rooms each Saturday.

As for me, I like the Out Of Conference Schedule. For whatever reason, it sets the table for the end of year trash talking and arguments about national rankings and Strength of schedule (SOS). GOD BLESS US ALL BUT THAT IS ENTERTAINING. I know it’s the worst football of the season for the most part. Here is TOP 10 List of why the OOCS is great for college football.

10) Point Spreads – If you want to teach your children to count, this is a great time of the year. Each week, add up the OOCS game point spreads for the Top 25. They will be counting to 350 in no time. Nothing like watching a top 5 ranked team with a 56 point spread against City College of Moose Jaw Alaska.

9) Resting Players – Sure it’s early in the season but some schools have injuries to key players. Rest them up for the games that matter.

8) Disciplining players – Some players commit misdemeanors (and/or felonies if you are lucky enough to recruit a really talented player with no common sense). The OOCS allows a coach to sit a player to teach him a life lesson. (Without hurting the team and without actually teaching him a life lesson)

7) Crankin’ up the Spin Doctors – Whether it is hyping your Heisman candidate or defending your players off the field actions, the school marketing dept is vital. Don’t wait until the Conference schedule to start the hyperbole. OOCS games get the Marketing team in game shape. If your school spin doctors can extol the importance of playing a game against a Division II school with a 39.5 point spread and make it sound like the season is on the line, they are ready for the Conf Schedule.

6) Dusting off the ‘Situation is Under Review’ speech. - What happens if a player needs to be disciplined but you are opening your season with a conference game? Coaches break out the “Situation is under Review” speech. You know the speech…. “While he was found with 20 ounces of cocaine in his car, the situation is under review. We feel it is too early to pass judgment and taint a young man’s reputation without all the facts. By the way we hope to have this investigation concluded before next week’s game against NorthSouthEastWest State University in Lower Montana. If he has to sit out that game, our team will have to buckle down but it is important to hold our players accountable.” (You can’t do that during the conference schedule)

5) Helping Smaller Schools – Flying in a D-II Patsy for a home game -$900,000. Getting the stadium to cheer for a 72-0 blowout – Priceless.

4) Upsets! Upsets! Upsets! – Flying in a D-II Patsy for a home game -$900,000. Watching your team lose at home to a D-II Patsy 28-21 –$900,000.

3) Keeping the Bowl Eligible Dream Alive – Nothing says Bowl Candidate like winning a minimum of 6 games. Some teams though will not make it to a bowl unless they can beat four (4) FSC teams and then go 2-5 in conference.  Who will fill Motor City Bowl?

2) Justify! Justify! Justify! – The first week of December marks the height of creative genius for BCS Schools. I love the justifications schools come up with when the Polls get tight and you team is vying for a BSC bid. “Our 22 point victory over UL Of M is a quality win over a highly underrated 5-6 team. Hell, we were a 62 point favorite and were only able to score 32. We were in a dog fight but our team showed the character that makes us a BCS Caliber team”

1) Trash Talkin 101 – Better than the schools and coaches talking up thier teams are the Homers on Fox Sports.

Let the trash talking begin.  WELCOME BACK COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!

Nick Saban, head Coach of the University of Alabama Football program has gone on record, publicly stating he is not in favor of the limitations set on coaches making spring visits to recruit football players.  

The measure is quietly being called the "Saban Rule" in reference to Nick Sabans well documented spring recruiting sojourns.  Below is a quote attributed to Nick Saban taken from an excerpt from 'Bama Beat by Gentry Estes.

"I think it's ridiculous that we're doing what we're doing," Saban said this morning. "Basically, when you break it down, a head coach can go out in December, which is about two weeks if you're going to a bowl game. After all the dead periods in January, you get to go out for about two or three weeks and then its Signing Day. When you're talking about developing relationships and knowing players and meeting guidance counselors and talking to principals and all those kind of things, I think we're put ourselves at a tremendous disadvantage in terms of evaluation."

In Sabans defense he is at a disadvantage with other schools.  Nick is a very methodic recruiter and checks every aspect of a players life prior to tendering scholarship offers.  "I use checklists. That is the only way to ensure you get the quality of players you are looking for."

 Below is a checklist to ensure no stone is left unturned.

• Automobile Preferences: Make, Model, Color, Accessories, Manual or Automatic
• Job Preferences :  Current Jobs Still avaialble for scholarship players
  • Director of Turf Management (Waters Astro-turf 3 times per week)
  • Academic tudor project - Allows real students to work with underperforming scholarship athletes to keep thier eligibility
  • Used Car Saleman: Booster Auto Sales
• Police Record:  Any Criminal Activities
• Legal Review:  Check with School Lawyers to see if we can bail him out when it happens again
• Marketing Review: Check with Marketing team to see if we can "Spin" his criminal record.  (i.e. Sells Crack coacaine becomes "Is involved wth children in the community")
• Police Coordination: Will the local PD call me first when it happens again
• Home Life:  Do his parents need a new home or Auto, free of charge
• Coaches Influence: Do I need to give his coach a job to have him convince the recruit to go to my school. 
• Educational Interests: Is he looking for a specific course study or can we get him enrolled in our usual 'football' courses
• Educational Aspirations: Is he looking for a real degree (Probably a disqualifier)
• High School Grades:  Is he scholarship eligable or do I have to enroll him in a summer program called "Scholarship U" to get his GPA froma 1.8 to a 3.5 in 4 weeks.

Nick is correct when he says it puts you at a disadvantage.  Coordinating all of these activities is not easy. Its time consuming and you have to get input from many sources.  In the competitive world of College Athletics recruiting, If you have to go to three Boosters to find the right automobile it takes time. What if another school has a booster with that exact auto, you lose your competitve advantage.

Other considerations are I am a new coach at a school and I do not know if we have relations with the local police department or if we have classes 'just for football players'. 

I need to make committments to these kids.  My word is my bond and if I tell a football player he won't have to go to class then dammit I mean it.  I want to know that he will not have to go to class. 

Again it takes time to develop these essential tools and by eliminating spring recruiting, coaches are under a a great deal of pressure to make decisions.

There are others who differ in thier opinion of the rules change.  Some say that if all the coaches follow the rules there is no advantage or disadvantage.  Lastly if you recruit student athletes you may find it requires less coordination.

(Now before anyone gets thier panties in a bunch, this is all tongue in cheek and I am not accusing Bama of anything like this.  Take this as a light read)