According to the Associated Press a Denver man wants the city to be prepared for space aliens and proposes a commission to deal with the matter.  54-year-old Jeff Peckman says an 18-member commission would form a strategy "...dealing with issues related to the presence of extraterrestrial beings on Earth."  Surprisingly Peckman is still short of the 4,000 signatures needed to put the matter on next November's ballot.

Sooner or later he'll find those signatures and when he does it could spell trouble for certain professional athletes who might very well be extraterrestrial for a variety of reasons like:

Chad Johnson
Unfamiliar with the earthly concept contracts are binding and one with four years remaining even more so, this wacky alien put his Chicken McNuggets© in a vise and told Bengals coach Marvin Lewis to squeeze as hard as he can.  Lewis not only squeezed he added this bit of advice to our confused football player from the planet Claude, "You cannot allow a player to get up on his high chair with four years left on his contract and demand to get out."

LeBron James
After bricking an 8 for 42 against the Celtics in their first two playoff games clearly he's been replaced by a clone from a galaxy far, far, away.  Unable to get very good reception because of the whole change to digital broadcasting in 2009, his home planet, THX1138 only had reruns of a Kwame Brown highlight reel to base his basketball skills on.  The LeBron clone slipped up after the Celtics loss when he said, "Being down 0-2, that's a tough hole to dig yourself out of. But if we want to win the series we've got to do it, even if we have to vaporize Garnett, Allen and Pierce."

The White Sox  
I don't know what solar system thinks men "stacking their bats" in front of a blow up doll isn't #### but it sure as hell isn't this one.  And when you get right down to it there couldn't have been one single human in that locker room or he would have said as much in disgust.

Bill Belichick
Come on.  Who doesn't think he's an alien?  The hoodie sweatshirt to hide the antennae sticking out of the back of his head?  The robot stare?  Spygate?  Belichick was recently overheard talking to Roger Goodell when he said, "I knew I should have just caught the other team's coordinators in the tunnels and sucked their brains out with a straw."

Richie Sexson
Has also been absorbed by the alien collective.  There's no way the human Richie Sexson would charge the mound after a pitch had been thrown at him yesterday.  The human Sexson would already be on the DL this late in the season.    

Dennis Rodman
A gimme, confirmed by MIB and still thinks he can play basketball in the NBA.  What would you expect from a guy who calls Solaxiant 9 home?

There are others who walk among us on the fields of green and hardwood floors of our hometowns.  You might even know a few or suspect.  This is the place and time to take a stand before all of sports is overrun and the only thing from earth is the bat or the ball.

The End???

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