The NFL Draft is like watching other kids open Christmas presents that suck. After all the mock drafts and blow-harding by the same experts year after year what you end up with as a fan is a big fat zero. Mock Drafts The most asinine of all endeavors. Where and when did it become not only important to guess what player will go where, but then grade yourself or others on how accurately they guessed? To what point? The teams themselves don't read mock drafts. The players selected with the first ten picks are so obvious you'd have to be under a rock not to guess them. I guess if you're anxiously waiting for the next issue of Coin Flip Quarterly a mock draft is right up your alley but for most fans it's an irritation we can live without. If you made up or read an entire seven round mock draft, get help. The First Round The stuff dreams are made of. But if you do a little research you'll find the gulf between the first ten picks and the next twenty-two is bigger than the Grand Canyon. Take QB's for instance, in twenty-years no QB taken from 11-32 has made the Pro-Bowl except as a spectator. Of the forty-plus QB's taken in the 1st round, 3 have won a Super Bowl and if your last name isn't Manning that number dwindles to one. Running backs taken in the 1st round #### out faster than a Yugo. Yet the 1st round mystique endures. Look at Andy Reid & the Eagles, he's backed the team out of the 1st round two years running because he knows what nobody will say out loud, if you don't have that #1-10 it isn't worth overpaying the 1st round bust. So do the math; Matt Ryan, (#3-Falcons), has a 7% chance of winning the Super Bowl in his entire career. Joe Flacco, (#18-Ravens), won't even make the Pro-Bowl. The Combine This is where the intense navel gazing pays off for the experts spewing out the raw sewage that gets lovingly crafted into countless mock drafts. Every year some combine darling vaults into the 1st round. This year's darling, Ohio State one-year-wonder DE, Vernon Gholston, charmed his way onto the Jets who wasted the 6th pick in the draft on him. Those wacky Jets, how they keep their fans from killing themselves never ceases to amaze me. You'll hear Gholston's name over and over for the next ten years whenever anybody is talking draft busts. I'll take a side order of Kyle Brady with that... Offensive and Defensive Linemen Did anyone get the same feeling I did they were watching the same film clips over and over? Behemoth crushes QB or RB, behemoth blocks for QB or RB. Is there a studio that just churns these mind numbing clips out all year long? Then you get the inane banter and dribble leading into the dullest thing ever saved on video, a clip of their combine workout. Never have little orange cones played as big a role in entertainment. Millions of people watching fat guys gallop around tiny cones. Excitement, Excitement, Excitement The draft has all the suspense of waiting for a bus on a rainy day. You're glad when it arrives but soon after you're crammed next to a guy that smells like a wet dog. The NFL draft provides the same experience when your team picks an unknown, undersized fill-in-the-blank player bracketed by two "Can't Miss" prospects who go onto Hall of Fame careers...couple this with mind numbing commercial breaks, thanks Tiger for inventing water with even more electrolytes in between winning golf tournaments in space, and you have two days of must not see sports TV. Holding Up the Jerseys With the number they were drafted. Please for the love of God we know you'll give them a uniform, it's a league rule, stop this awful practice. Grading the Draft The same knuckleheads that couldn't guess who got picked where are trotted out to #### on the teams who didn't listen to them to begin with. This is like asking a psychic to tell the future right after all the things they said would happen didn't. Simple fact is some of these guys will be very good players, some OK and not so surprisingly most are training camp cannon fodder. Next year I'm going fly fishing and I'm pretty sure sitting by a creek trying to outwit a fish can't be any less interesting than watching the NFL Draft.
Very good, Duck! I watched some, just to see who my Steelers would pick in their round. Was really pleased, and surprised he was still around, that they picked Mendenhall, after that.......ZZZZZZZZZZ! Fuzz
The producers for "ALL" television sports programing suck...........I can't think of one single sporting event that isn't tweaked and F'd with in one way or another.
The NFL network and ESPN both had their top analists talking out of their #### during the selections, meanwhile the fans are trying read the graphics to figure out who their teams had selected.
NFL.com had better reviews and player profiles if you just wanted the strait-up info on each selection.
The NFL Draft is a very important event in the lives of those, like myself, that require frequent mid-day naps on weekends so that they may be well rested for their boring, irrelevant careers during Mondays through Fridays. Eliminating this celebration of football could cause blurred vision, mental fatigue and skin cancer for those who would choose otherwise to go outside of their domicile.
When they're finally telecasting a mailbox on college letter of intent day we'll switch to ESPN classic and show the kids how much more exciting the NFL Draft was in our day...
JW<
Thanks. I knew I could count on you to pull a pic of a monster Yugo out of your....um...tell you what I'm promoting you to Corporal in the Fowl Line Video Sky Rangers...job well done...
The point is to select players, which would happen whether we watched it or not, it isn't providing ESPN with hours of mind numbing programming bordering on the hysterically and shrilly comatose.
If you actually believe it is entertaining, riveting television please enlighten the rest of us. If they were reading the phone book it couldn't be any duller.
The televised draft is proof you can stretch the NFL too far. Players become "value" picks in later rounds when they aren't selected where all the chowder-headed experts said they would go. So the guy who goes higher becomes a super-duper value pick? The video rolls are numbingly the same, the commentary and banter is equal to getting stuck at a wedding table with five insurance salesmen...I just don't get it...
I am not trying to interfere with your right to therapeutically nap while watching another pointless exercise in sports video on ESPN...I just think "MILF Island" would beat the NFL draft in ratings....
Forget that JW you get a Video Sky Patrol decoder ring which will tell you where our secret Sports Fortress of Booze, Hooters Chicks, Poker and OTB is...remember to turn the ring counter clockwise...here's the address, and hurry it's almost BiKini Belly Button Shots Hour!
ED AWSOME Im so happy I think I just had an accident in my pants and for a second there I thought you where going to say I get to do some more spygate..lol
JW,
As a Video Sky Ranger you can be sent on many dangerous missions including those the NE Patriots give the General of the Video Sky Rangers a large honorarium for completing...
Last edited by edhardiman on April 28th at 12:47 PM.
JW,
Remember if you're caught you must chew the plastic decoder ring up as soon as possible were that to fall into David Hasselhoff's hands we'd never get him out of the Sports Fortress...and he'd guzzle all the booze while karaoke-ing his greatest hits in German...
edhard'
JOKERSWILD I for one believe that there ought to be some sort of entertainment for the lethargic fans who've got to endure this over the course of two days. And if the coverage on ESPN is like its coverage of NASCAR then I suggest that they don't call in Britney Spears or Ashlee Simpson to provide the entertainment.
Pill popping musical has been ......Britney Spears
Ashlee Simpson the lesser of the two talentless
Simpson sisters.
For me the draft would be heightened in interest if they had even less analysis from the so called experts. And the just got on with the damn thing in double quick time.
rampant ......aka tophatal .....
Last edited by rampantfanatic on April 28th at 1:15 PM.
Ed; i had no idea Tiger had a degree in H2O engineering... And when you say " watching paint dry " You mean on the faces of those Giant and Jet knuckle head fans who think their gonna get Jesus Christ himself, at QB in the 1st round.
B@O,
Tiger Woods is Einstein reincarnate, let's bottom line it, OK?
Won every Golf Title Available...check
Married a hotter than hot, ultra scorching hot Babe...check
Has Golfed on the moon...check
Has a sports energy drink...check
Found a way to call sugar "electrolytes"...check
You quacked me up Ed. The little cones and the crapping out like a Yugo were priceless.
Is it any wonder that Mel Kiper gets the money he gets? Has anyone taped his voice and then played it back years later...didn't he say Vick was da bomb?
The worst part about the draft is showing players getting phone calls and then ESPN pretending they don't know who got picked. UGH
I tole you why I watched the program, din't I? (sorry that's my best Ricky Ricardo impression). Saw them pick Mendenhall then I went back to my paint drying observation, it was most interesting. I think we should put it up for an Olympic Sport. Takes lots of talent to watch paint dry, especially white paint.
Lisa That was my thought when I first saw that picture. Chandler.
When everything is said and done, we won't know if the players are worth spit until the season gets in full swing- so I miss the whole point of the hype and hoopla?
Lisa,
You're onto to something there, if the show was 6 straight hours of these gasbags getting hoisted on their previous picks, Pac Man anyone, just twisting in the wind and getting voted on or off "Announcer's Island" online, you'd have a ratings monster. The players could even vote...
I/m guessing from my absolute lack of knowledge as who Chandler Bing is, it can only be a character from one of 3 shows, 90210, Friends, Dawson's Creek. All of which I have never watched a single episode...oh or maybe Gilmore Girls...
Fuzz,
White paint is the trickiest of all paints to dry, you need a really good primer, then paint a 3' W with a line across the top and pull the paint down in straight lines block your way across the wall, and use a damn good brush, real china pig bristles not that foam or synthetic ####...
Yee,
You are spot on! Until they lace 'em up it's all a lot of talk, otherwise every player in the nfl would have been drafted in the 1st two rounds...
The mock draft is just fodder for all the ants glued in front of their TV's playing play station with momentary breaks to consume dominos pizza, they will settle with that insecure girl who just wants attention. They will grow old, fat, and irrelevant as the years pass. A meaningless show for a meaningless life
I enjoy the crazy hype, especially when it blows up later. (See R.Bush-USC) The stubbornly blind seem to forget their prior year rants.
My prognosticator is Rick Gosselin of the Dallas Morning News. This guy blows away the hair crowd.
The workout darlings vaulting up the board are part of the fun. The number of 'experts' popping out of their rat holes is part of the pagentry. Hearing nut-jobs like Keshawn, yes that fool, argue about potential abilities of someone he's never researched, make this a great fantasy day. It's a Dungeons and Dragons fan's dream. I never played that game!
Alas, I missed all but a couple hours of Round 1-2, due to going to a real sports event, the PGA Byron Nelson Classic. Still, I knew I could catch the recap on the NFL Network, every hour on the hour for 48 hours. My head hurts from all the ifs and buts.
The NFL draft should be about character and there are plenty of those all over the sports networks.
You sir, are an putz. The draft is great entertainment. It combines the future of NFL footbal with the recent excitement of the past few college seasons. I like the suspense when my team is on the clock. I like to know where my favorite players go. And I like to get a heads up on fantasy league keeper team.
If you dont like it, dont watch it! I think there was some irrelevant Nascar race on somewhere!!
Last edited by Wicked1971 on April 28th at 8:59 PM.
husker,
disagreement is allowed and while we don't see eye to eye you make a strong case...the Texans made the right pick, and somewhere in an alternative universe Tim Couch won the Super Bowl...
ed, did Wicked1971 just call you "an" putz? Can I enroll in some of his grammar classes, and if so, can we put orange cones around his head and do a sprint? Priceless!
PS...Chandler Bing is from "Friends." His name is Matthew Perry...google him...he looks just like Mel Kiper. The funny part is, on the show, no one knew what Chandler did for a living...think Kramer of "Seinfeld" fame. I kind of feel the same way about Kiper....unemployed except for 2 days every year.
Lisa,
Oh the dentist from the whole nine yards! Spot on, Wicked was just expressing himself as best he can...yeah what does Kiper do otherwise, bitterly root against the picks he didn't favor until next year's draft?
hahaha...sorry writer you my friend are wrong. You said "Take QB's for instance, in twenty-years no QB taken from 11-32 has made the Pro-Bowl except as a spectator."
