The Associated Press reports Notre Dame legend George Gipp was exhumed yesterday. Gipp, famous for inspiring Knute Rockne to coin the phrase "Win one for the Gipper" and launching Ronald Reagan on the road to the Presidency, was driven to the South Bend campus of Notre Dame where he gave a rousing speech exhorting the one-win Fighting Irish to win at least two.
While several players admitted they didn't know who George Gipp was an equal number admitted they didn't know who Ronald Reagan was either. George Weiss admitted bringing in the corpse of a former player was a desperate act but, "...The only other dead legend, Knute Rockne, was booked solid until 2010."
Gipp gained 2,341 yards on the ground for the Fighting Irish over 3 seasons before succumbing to strep throat weeks before being named Notre Dame's 1st All American in 1920. His deathbed declaration to Knute Rockne might be the best ever given, even if its apocryphal;
"I've got to go, Rock. It's all right. I'm not afraid. Some time, Rock, when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys — tell them to go in there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll know about it, and I'll be happy."
Bob, an offensive lineman, had this to say "Yeah, um it was hard to tell what he was saying and at one point his head fell off and rolled around on the floor but it was inspirational, though I think ending the speech "Win one for the Swiffer" or something like that was kind of confusing..."
When Father Ted McGuiness-Stout was asked if bringing the dead back to life conformed to the theological mission of the school he angrily retorted "Go to @#$% you Protestant @#$%."
Wendy a perky cheerleader, or nubile enthusiasm generator as Don, the school information assistant hastily pointed out, said Gipp was "Dreamy." She later admitted she "...liked older guys cause they're way more mature and Gipp was really old." so old in fact, "...he lived in a box under the ground." After being asked if she knew what "being dead" meant she admitted it sounded a lot like what happened when her pet cat Fluffy went away forever when she was in the 2nd grade.
The overall impact of this desperate measure won't be known until this coming weekend. As for Gipp he plans to remain dead and has no immediate plans, though ESPN has offered him a reality show called "Fourth and Dead with George Gipp."
kelly,
I heard he looked better than Regis, and speaking of Regis, I hope everybody goes over and checks your scribble about him being a Fightin' Irish fan...
Aaah yes the Fightin Irish..............Always a favorite around me house as a young lad.........Especially during the holidays when the spirits filled us all!
ed hardiman
You'd have thought that with all the knowledge that the Irish have and an esteemed educational facility. The exhuming of Gipp's body for DNA doesn't really makes sense unless they're thinking of cloning him to replicate fifty two qualified candidates to play for the team. With the way that they'd been playing before their win it wouldn't have surprised me how far they'd go. Weis must've been advized of this by the alumni and the AD that they'd be doing this as a last resort.
ricko
If they do the same thing with Schembechler you shouldn't be surprised. They'll need alll the help that they can get between now and the end of the college season.
I can see it now they'll next be injecting some foreign substance into Claussen's as$ and then saying it's a nutritional supplement. Even Ultra Mega won't question what they're doing. As he feels that any sort of enhancement for a player is something worthwhile. He'd even think that itd be OK for penile implants to be a part of the fundamentals of the game if it enhances a player's physical prowess on the field.
Say what you want about Ultra he not only thinks outside the box but he probably believes that it's good to have one around at all times.
