I was actually a top 16 finalist in this competition.  If you don't believe me, check out the main blog page.  Anyway, I looked at the scores this past Sunday and to my surprise, I didn't even have an average listed.  Then I got a call from one of my friends and he said that he tried to vote for me all last week but THERE WEREN'T EVEN ANY STARS NEXT TO MY BLOG!  Don't believe me?  Check out this link to my blog:

http://blogs.foxsports.com/detpack

....hmmmn.  Well.  Ok, this is rather embarrassing.  I just got a call from my Dad and he said I was eliminated two rounds ago.  According to him, I don't know enough about sports to be a sportswriter and he awarded me one star for my last post.  That kind of hurt.  He also briefly mentioned his intention to try and adopt arabchickencurry.  That probably stung a little bit more than the one star.  Anyway, my sincerest apologies to everyone involved.  I will try to return later with some more sports-related posts.  I hope everyone is well.

***I'm going to throw this in there just to be safe. Yes, this is completely tounge-in-cheek and none of it is true (except the elimination part). As always, I was just trying to keep things lighthearted and have a litte fun.

I thought the other finalists did a better job.

Thanks for reading everyone, and good luck to everyone else.

A Blast From The Past (Colts Fans Shield Your Eyes)

The “I don’t want to jinx the kicker with a stat that indicates pefection but I’ll say it anyway.”

This is just maddening and I’m sure quite a few can relate.  Out trots your team’s kicker for the field goal and right before the guy’s about to kick, one of the announcers has to throw out a stat like the guy hasn’t missed from inside the forty in his last 38 tries.  Of course, right on cue, the guy misses.  As if it wasn’t bad enough he jinxed him, he’s got to make a joke of it and laugh at what he did:  “Hey, I guessed I must have jinxed him.  Ha Ha.  Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut”  No shi* you jinxed him, Al MIchaels.  Why did you have to give that stat before he kicked?  I don’t understand.  Why would you say that?!?  Why can’t you just wait until he makes the kick and say “that makes 39 for 39.”  How many times as this happened over the years? I’d love to see a stat on that.

of returning to my Skins/Hawks list.  But feel free to go back if you want to.  I've got nothing to hide.  For the second time in 24 hours, I've got to take my medicine like a man.  Anyway...

The Confession

Hasselbeck has matured far beyond the point I thought he had.  Looking back, I suppose his "we want the ball and we're going to win" comment can be seen in a similar light as Kobe's horrible misses at the end of some playoffs games when he first faced a pressure situation:  He might not have succeeded the first time, but he definitely had an undeniable confidence and a willingness to put the team on his shoulder's.  Obviously, Hass played inspired ball and was not going to be denied today.  I almost wonder if it would have been better for the Skins if Alexander didn't get hurt.  It allowed Hasselbeck to take center stage and Morris was a very capable backup in terms of keeping the Skins honest.  And yes, I do realize that insinuating the league MVP getting hurt somehow benefited his team is an absurd statement to make.  If you'd like to give a one-star vote before getting to the end of this, I understand.

The Hawks are not this year's Colts.  They ARE a different team and did an amazing job of responding to adversity.  When the Skins recovered that fumble after they pulled within 7, I thought we were going to see the collapse I had expected.  On the contrary, the defense stepped up and the offense mounted a very impressive drive after Hall's miss.  There was no way the team was going to be denied.

As for momentum, I'm not sure who made the point on my last blog but whoever said the Skins were going to be out of gas because of all the must-win games they played over the past six weeks seemed to have hit the nail on the head.  While Brunell and company gave a noble effort and never gave up, it looked like they just didn't have anything left in the tank.

The better team won today's game.  Period.

The Apologist's Take

I'll keep this short because there's nothing more annoying than a fan who goes on and on after his pick loses and says it would have been a whole different game if the ref hadn't missed that holding call in the first quarter.

All I will say is that besides number 4, 6, and 7, I will still stand behind everything I said in that list and I think a lot of it even came true.  After the Skins failed on fourth down and Brown hit the field goal to put Seattle up by 14, it should have been lights out.  The fact that the Hawks let them come down the field after that was very unimpressive and in my opinion, and reflective of the fact that they still don't have what it takes to be a championship team.  Good teams overcome situations like that to win.  Great teams put the game away and don't put themselves in the situation to begin with.  Also, I'm not sure how a veteran kicker can miss a 36 yard field goal in that situation.  Simply no excuse for that.  If Seattle plays the Bears next week, I think they squeak one out and get stomped in the Super Bowl. If they play the Panthers, I think they lose.  I thought Seattle proved that they are not the team they have been in the past.  But I still don't think that means they have any chance of winning the Super Bowl.

A Somewhat Unrelated Note

Today, the Skins officially completed the NFL dagger-in-the-heart  tri-fecta for me.  The Eagles didn't make the playoffs.  Then I moved to DC and watched the Skins advance through the first round.  Finally, when I figured out a way to place a small wager on the Skins, they lost the game.  It's a good thing I didn't bet my crutches because I'm trying to see if I can return them back to my health insurace company for some kind of compensation.  I'm also in negotiations with one of my larger friends.  He has an old wheel-barrow that he said he'd be willing to push me around in--at least on the weekend.

 

 

Before I get to my last list, let me say that I completely understand it is a player or coach's right to retire when he wants to.  He should not be arrested for not retiring when he should.  Who am I to tell a great athlete or a coach when he should retire?  Who are you to tell me that if I'm ever on "Soul Train" I shouldn't unleash the Macarena?  Whether or not someone has the "right" to tell someone something does not speak at all to the statement's truth.  Ok, just wanted to address that in case it comes up.  The list...

10.  Doug Flutie

I talked about Doug in a post a long time ago and a fellow blogger let me know he was still in incredible shape.  That I believe.  What I don't believe is that he should still take up an active roster spot on an NFL team.  The most memorable thing Flutie has done since his days with the Bills is come on in the 4th quarter to drop-kick an extra-point.  That was kind of neat but served absolutely no purpose.   If the Broncos game is out of reach one way or the other, are we going to see Flutie back receiving a kickoff as the rest of his team crowds around him in a big circle and they all move down the field.  Then they'll all split up really quickly so no one knows who has the ball?  Again, I'm sure Flutie is in great shape for his age.   So is Jack Lalanne. He shouldn't be in the NFL either.  If Flutie wanted to end his career in New England, he should have taken a page out of Lalanne's book and served juice on the sidelines.

9.  Randall Cunningham

Oh, Randall.  I was so happy for you when you finally got a chance to make a real run at things with the Vikings.  And then you went to the Cowboys for a year.  And then you went to the Ravens for a year.  Did you go to a UNLV homecoming and blow all of your money at the MGM Grand?  It didn't have to end this way, Randall.  It didn't.

8.  Gary Anderson

Gary, you own the league scoring record.  You've played with every NFL team.  You were around when they still wore leather helmets.  I know that you're still solid from 35 and in, but when leg strength starts to become an issue for attempts from the low 40s and out, it's time.  Ok, you wanted to make amends for that kick you missed in the Championship Game when you were with the Vikings.  I understand.  But the Titans weren't going to make a Super Bowl run last year.  When you were with the Vikes, did you and Randall both share the same financial planner?

7.  Bob Griese and Don Shula

I hear you.  I also thought they had retired a long time ago until I saw their press conference after Week 15.  Listen, guys.  If you want to sit at home and cheer against the Colts (or root for them--you really didn't make a whole lot of sense), that's fine.  I see no problem with that either way.  Don't hold a press conference and feed me a load of bull about how much you respect the Colts and Tony Dungy.  If you really respect them, I would have suggested responding to media requests for quotes with something similar to the following:  "While we are extremely proud of our accomplishment of achieving a perfect season in 1972, we respect the Colts' and Chargers' players and do not want to take the spotlight off either the Chargers win today or the Colts' tremendous season.  Therefore, we will have no further comment until the end of the season."  Spare me your act, Don Shula.  You were clearly giddy to have someone put a microphone in front of your face again.  As always, actions speak louder than words.

6.  Chris Chandler

I'm not sure if you have kids or not (couldn't find out with a quick google search) but if you do, I'm sure they'd like to play catch with their Dad one day as opposed to throwing a football through a tire for all of their childhood.  At what point do you put your health and family above a couple of extra seasons?  The man had so many concussions by the end of his career that he stuck a smelling salt up one of his nostrils at the beginning of each game and wore it like the other players wore a mouthpiece.

5.  Bill Parcells

Two championships with the Giants?  I thought you were a winner.  Return to the Pats?  Ok, that's cool.  Over to the Jets?  You're starting to get on my nerves.  Contract extension with the Cowboys?  You are now officially the coach I hate most in the NFL.  Bill Parcells is coaching's version of Steve Howe without the bad press.  The man gets away with everything.  He is self-righteous and self-absorbed, he is ignorant, and he is a horrible role model.  Did anyone see the montage on him before the last Sunday night game?  What a quintessential example of how the media seemingly chooses to vilify or glorify a sports figure depending on the flip of a coin.  It was sickening.  He knows how to "handle the media"?  Say "f this" and "f that" and "I'm not answering your (expletive) dumb questions" is handling the media?  Here's another way.  Say "no comment," then get up and leave whenever you get tired of answering the same questions.  He demands respect from his team?  Grown men (especially at work and in front of a national audience) do not throw punches at other grown men because they try to interject in a conversation they should have stayed out of.  I don't care if every sportscaster in America laughs at the highlight or says that it's just your way of doing things.  You were wrong.  Very wrong.  Whipping your child with a belt, while probably very effective, does not mean that you are simply demanding respect.  Your comment about "Jap plays"?  That was really reflective of your high level of intelligence.  Repeatedly filling your team with aging veterans because they buy into your bully mentality?  Apparently that's great coaching.  Also, I saw you on 60 minutes where you talked about how miserable you are to be around come football season.  Guess what?  That's not a good thing.  See my self-righteous and self-absorbed comment from above.  Dr. Phil would have a field-day with you (no, I am not a fan of Dr. Phil and while I'm at, I don't think spanking your child is inappropriate in case anyone asks.).

4.  Michael Jordan

He obviously doesn't belong on this list.  But I had to put him on.  Alright, alright, even in his last years, he probably still made the Wizards a better team.  But I will always remember him in that follow-through pose after he brought Karl Malone and Jazz fans to tears.  I wish he wouldn't have clouded the memory.

3.  Emmit Smith

Apparently Emmit didn't get the memo from Troy and Michael that they had nothing left to prove.  When he went to the Cardinals, Emmit said he still loved to play the game.  I can see that.  But I love to have a few beers and go to the club.  When the club closes at 4 a.m. (depending on what city you're in), the fun's over for that night.  It means it's time to go home.  It doesn't mean it's time to find the techno after-hours club that closes at 7:30 a.m.  There's no way the Cardinals were going to contend for anything in Emmit's last years.  You can call me a cynic, but I wonder how much Emmit loved to play the game as compared to how much he loved to pad his career stats.  Considering he kept all of the footballs he scored a touchdown with, things like that seem to mean a lot to him.

2.  Jerry Rice

Again, a great player who nobody ever called out simply because he is a great player who doesn't run his mouth every second.  I'm sure you have a great work ethic, Jerry.  By the end of your career, however, you didn't make the teams you were playing for any better.  Your year with the Seahawks should have told you something.  If you couldn't contribute significantly to that receiving corps, Canton should have been your next stop, not Denver.  By the way, remember what I said about Rice not being called out?  Rice asking a hall-of-fame player like Largent if he could wear his number even though it has been retired has to be one of the most classless moves of all-time.  Especially considering Rice's role on that team.  We barely heard a peep about it.  It's like asking someone for his last cigarette (I used to smoke a long time ago, I don't anymore)—it doesn't matter what the person's response is; you never should have put him on the spot to begin with. I also will love to hear Rice's response if someone asks him to allow the same thing someday.

1.  Dan Marino

Proving that if you're a famous figure, you're never going to be able to please everyone, I'd feel remiss here if I didn't mention that Dan Marino is my all-time least favorite NFL player.  What's the difference between Marino and the rest of the guys on this list?  While they may not have helped their team, they didn't hurt them that much either.  By the time Marino retired, he was so immobile that he had to use the handicap entrance to the stadium.  We all feel horrible that you have to live with the fact you were probably the greatest quarterback in the game who never won a Super Bowl.  I can't imagine the anguish.  But in your last years, your selfishness ruined your team's chances of making a real run.  If you recall, the Dolphins were not a bunch of schleps.  They had an awesome defense.  If you don't believe me, go back and check out the studs on there.  Zach Thomas, Patrick Surtain, Jason Taylor, Trace Armstrong, Larry Izzo, etc.  The offense didn't have a lot of playmakers, but Marino wasn't doing them any favors by sticking around.  If you repeatedly got bent out of shape when a reporter asked you how you felt knowing you would most likely be remembered as the best QB who never won a Super Bowl, you could have just responded "how do you feel knowing you most likely won't be remembered for anything."  A little harsh?  Sure.  But it probably would have helped your complex and shutting people up might have made you realize that you had nothing to prove and it was time to retire for the good of the team. 

Ok, I said I'd be back with a more substantive top ten list and here it is.  If anyone has been around this site over the past month, he or she would know I give the Seahawks no respect.  I think they've proven nothing and I think Shaun Alexander, although very deserving from a statistical perspective, did not warrant the league MVP (gasp!).

Now I tried to write a preview of last week's Jags/Pats game, and with the help of some others, I saw that it was too opinion heavy and it lacked a lot of statistical backup in certain areas like special teams.  So I took it down.  Lo and behold, the game unfolded exactly as I had said it would.  I also picked the winners of the other three games.  Guess how many stats I looked at before the game?  That's right, zero.  I firmly believe that if you watch enough NFL, you can just as accurately predict the outcome o####ame without stats as you can with stats.  I'm not being lazy, I'm being serious.  In many respects, stats are like Bible verses to me.  Whenever you show me one stat that indicates a certain thing will happen, I can probably find another one that will contradict it in some way.  No matter how much they seem to favor one side, stats don't win games.  That's why I prefer to take everything into account and make an educated guess, minus the stats.  You agree?  I didn't think so.

By the way, this is not a promotional stunt of sorts.  I seriously think the Skins are going to win the game straight up.  And I also realize not only that many people will give me a low score for making an assertion based on very little statistical evidence, but also that whatever happens, they are very unlikely to return.  But, if you've read either of my other two serious pieces over the last month, you would know that if I think I'm right, I'm not afraid to hold an unpopular view and stand by it until proven wrong (which very well may happen).  Regardless, here are my top ten reasons the Skins won't need the nine points this weekend.

10.  Home field advantage means nothing in this case.

I've heard a lot of talk about the advantage the Seahawks will hold this year with home field advantage throughout the playoffs.  I don't agree.  It's not as if the Skins are a warm-weather team heading into a cold-weather climate in the middle of January.  They are also not a dome team going to play outdoors.  Speaking of dome teams, did everyone forget when the Seahawks team had home field advantage in last year's playoffs and they lost to the Rams?  The Rams.  They lost a home playoff game on grass to the Rams and a year later home field is supposed to give them a great advantage?  Bah!

9.  The power of the U.

Love'em or hate'em (mostly hate'em), you can't deny that Miami's football team is a consistent winner.  In my opinion, having the mentality of a winner is very often underrated when it comes to sports and making predictions.  You can be the most athletically gifted human being, and if you don't have it up top, it means nothing.  Clinton Portis, Sean Taylor, Santana Moss?  They're all from the U and they all play a major role in the Skins' game plan.

8.  Skins took the last one.

This is just baffling.  Back in week three, the Skins won the game outright.  Fast forward to the end of the season where the Seahawks haven't played a meaningful game in weeks and the Skins have won six games in a row, all of the sudden the Seahawks are 9 point favorites.  If I could bet my crutches, I would.

7.  The momentum factor.

See above.  The Skins have won six games in a row.  They're hot.  When a team goes on a tear like that into the playoffs, they're always dangerous, especially when the other team hasn't been tested in a long time.  Period.

6.  The Seahawks are this season's version of last year's Colts.

Does anyone remember last year's playoffs?  I seem to remember hearing a lot of "The Colts have finally turned the corner and this time they're going to get the job done.  Their offense is just too good for the Patriots to stop."  The Colts then proceeded to get their butts handed to them—again.  You can talk about not getting respect all day long.  Do something that deserves respect (i.e. not beating up on the Niners and Cardinals or shellacking a depleted and demoralized Eagles team) and then you might get respect.  You don't get respect by talking about not getting it.

5.  Seattle's atrocious schedule

I'm not making this up.  You can check this out.  Here are the Seahawks' wins from this year:  Cardinals (2), Niners (2), Rams (2), Texans, Falcons, Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Titans, Colts.  I see two wins against playoff teams:  Giants (a gift courtesy of Jay Feely) and the Colts (a completely meaningless game for the Colts).  We've touched on the Eagles game and the Cowboys game was also a gift.  I completely understand that a win is a win.  I've taken that into account.  But tell me why a 13-3 record against those teams warrants respect?  The Seahawks don't deserve respect.  They deserve a pat on the back for not screwing up.  That's about it.

4.  We just can't trust Matt Hasselbeck.

Remember what I said about having it up top and being a winner.  If during the coin toss of an overtime playoff game, you say into the ref's microphone, "we want the ball and we're going to win" and then you throw an interception that is returned for a touchdown to lose the game—you don't have it.

3.  Seattle's defense has not impressed.

I admit that they're better than they used to be.  But again, look at their schedule.  Also, they were down 24-14 against the Titans in a game that meant absolutely nothing to the Titans.  If you can't put a team away with nothing to play for (not even a rival or a team playing spoiler in the last game of the season) when you're still trying to gain home field advantage, I'm not impressed with your defense's ability.

2.  Coaching

Ok, Holmgren won it all with the Packers.  I'll give him that.  But what has he done since?  And who couldn't win it with Brett Favre when he was entering the prime of his career?  Joe Gibbs has multiple rings and has taken a team no one could turn around and once again make them a force to be reckoned with.  Advantage Skins.

1.  I am the most tortured sports fan in the history of man.

This might be the most convincing reason right here.  I made this point a while ago.  Last Philly championship?  1983.  I can remember watching sports back to when?  1984.  What's worse than not seeing your team make the playoffs?  Moving to one of their division rival's city and having to watch that team in the playoffs while you listen to all of their fans talk about it.

Well, there they are.  Let the name-calling begin.  I can't wait to hear the comments in response to this post.  I hope no small children with an advanced reading ability walk by my computer.  You know what, though?  Even if the Skins get beat 45-0, I'm happy with the fact that I had the guts to say what I thought was truly going to happen.  And I don't think anyone is betting his paycheck based on my expertise anyway.

***featurepresentation made a good point that I forgot to make.  If I were betting, I'd definitely take the points and not the money line.  But I still really do think the Skins will take it outright.

Ok, I had to get something in before the deadline even though I haven't been feeling well lately.  As you might expect, I salivate over top ten lists and I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to learn that I like to make these up just for fun (but they usually are just making fun of friends and don't have anything to do with sports). 

I'm going to play off of something I mentioned in my preview last week, and that's how absolutely ridiculous Primetime has become with its nicknames.  I really think it's out of control as many of the names have long lead-ins and some of the nicknames have nothing to do with sports.  So, allow me to present the Top Ten Nicknames Rejected by Chris Berman for Each of Last Weekend's Playoff Games.  I'll be back sometime this week with a slightly serious and more developed piece and probably some more top ten lists.  After all, I did correctly pick all four winners in last week's games (Let'em know, Socal.  My comment should still be on your blog.)

Bengals/Steelers

10.  Chad "you know what they say about black men and the size of their" Johnson.

9  Jeff "You'd be surprised how many of the guys on my team can't" Reed.

8.  Carson "I didn't watch the Twin Peaks finale, did they ever tell us who killed Laura" Palmer.

7.  Duce "I left my bag of bagels open overnight and now they're all" Staley.

6.  Chris "You gotta feel sorry for kids whose parents name them" Henry.

5.  Verron "I saw Michael Jordan in those underwear commercials and it did nothing to make me want to buy" Haynes

4.  Shayne "Michael Irvin charged me way too much for that" Grahm

3.  Cedrick "I don't care how much weight she loses, I'll never be attracted to Carnie" Wilson.

2.  Rudi "I'd feel remiss if I didn't this opportunity to again point out what they say about a black man's" Johnson

1. Heath "You can keep your pale ale ####, I'll just have a" Miller.

Jaguars/Patriots

10.  Matt "Rappers must be losing their creativity, because now one guy just calls himself Mike" Jones.

9.  Troy "I thank God every night that I'm not a " Brown.

8.  George "Andy said we were going to get our butts whipped and he was definitely" Wrightster.

7.  Patrick "If I were Matt Leinart and the Saints drafted me, I'd" Pass.

6.  Jimmy "At least I'm not as old as Rod" Smith.

5.  Corey "When I saw 'Wild Things', I lost all my respect for Matt Dillon."

4.  Josh "The most embarrassing moment of my life is when I cut my hair with the" Scobee.

3.  P.K. "I see the field as much as Toocan" Sam.

2.  Kyle "I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to look on the field and admire Tom" Brady.

1.  Tom "You're not so bad yourself, Kyle" Brady.

Panther/Giants

10.  Mike "If you've seen those BK commercials, you've got to feel bad for Darius" Rucker.

9.  Jay "Sometimes when I drink, I get a little touchy-" Feely.

8.  Chris "I'd take the Skins and the points next week if I liked to" Gamble.

7.  Amani "I stick around this league like a malignant" Toomer.

6.  Rod "My locker is next to Chris Weinke's and as you might imagine, he's not very" Smart.

5.  Tim "How did a backup QB land a chick like Elisabeth" Hasselbeck.

4.  Ricky "I never get mistaken for Peyton or Eli" Manning.

3.  Willie "How I'm in the NFL is a thought you might like to" Ponder.

2.  John "I thought Tiki Barber would never point fingers after a loss, but that just wasn't the" Kasay.

1.  Jeremy "The fact that we lost this game wasn't a big Shockey."

Bucs/Redskins

10.  Michael "I hope Mike Ditka gets #### slapped by John" Clayton.

9.  Chris "Even if he's your teammate, spitting in the opponent's face is still not" Cooley.

8.  Jeff "Do you remember on Diff'rent Strokes when Arnold finally stood up to the" Gooch.

(Sorry, that one was for me.  I know he's a linebacker that's on IR and a lot of people probably haven't heard of him but I couldn't resist.)

7.  Santana  "An aging wide receiver gathers no" Moss.

6.  Brian "I haven't washed my hair in three days, and man is it" Griese.

(Again, IR, but it serves the purpose.)

5.  Lavar "I can't tell you how much it bugs me when people call me J.J." Arrington.

4.  Derrick "Our game plan must have been devised by Mel" Brooks.

3.  Marcus "Has anyone noticed that I play for the city of, next week I'll play in the state of, and my last name is" Washington.

2.  Ronde "I know he's my twin, but please don't confuse me with Tiki" Barber.

1.  John "I never understood the fascination with Kids In The" Hall.

***I tried to throw out a serious analytical look at the Jags-Pats game.  Luckily, before anyone really had a chance to see it and even though I think I had some good points, Motor and jgrace quickly helped me realize that I should nix any kind of real preview because I stink at it (Even though I still say the Pats are going to stomp the Jags.  I'll check back for your apologies from you two after the game.).  Like a good friend who convinces his buddy that he's got a long way to go before he can wear Under Armour at the gym, their constructive criticism did the trick and I have to sincerely thank them for the  "do it right or stick to the jokes" bit*ch-slapping they gave me.  However, just like Mark Wahlberg doesn't want his career to be looked at solely in regard to his efforts as part of the Funky Bunch, I'd like to rehash a serious piece I wrote over three weeks ago that got a more favorable review— it was a long time before many of you probably got here.  I would have just set up a link, but my computer skills are feeble, and I will blog myself to the end by refusing help, just as an Ironman competitor would if he collapsed 20 yards from the finish line.  By the way, has anyone checked out MBrady and JWatters lately?  MBrady has found a feature that allows the computer to read his blog to the blind and JWatters' appears to somehow have the capability to bid on items from eBAY.  I don't know why people stopped with the shout-outs once the finals started (actually, yeah I do), but these guys obviously busted their balls on this stuff and I don't think they're getting the look they deserve.  At least not in terms of comments.  I'd try to say something besides what I did, but if you think my NFL breakdown wouldn't have been any good, my college basketball insight would appall you.  Anyway, the article (and my apologies if you already saw it):

Why Athletes Are More Likely Underpaid Than Overpaid...Seriously (And If You Don't Think So, What I Believe Is Really Behind Your Feelings)

I’m putting this up early today in hopes that it will spark some good discussion.  If you’ve read any of my blogs, then you know that I usually take a very lighthearted look at things in a “did you notice” or “why is that the way it is” observational comedy type of way.  Today I would like to write on another topic that baffles me but do so in a more serious manner.  The issue that I’d like to explore is the notion that athletes are grossly overcompensated for what they do, a notion that I find inexplicable and a viewpoint I regard as devoid of any type of logic and stemming more from jealousy than anything else.

You hear it all time when you’re watching the games with friends or having a conversation with a random stranger:  “These guys are overpaid,” “How can he ask for more money?”, “It’s ridiculous these guys get paid the type of money do for catching a football” are all examples of common phrases I’ve heard even the most intelligent, passionate sports fan throw around.  I would argue quite the opposite, or rather that if anyone in our society deserves to make such a great amount of money, professional athletes have got to be near the top of the list.

I was an English major in college, but it all seems like a simple matter of economics and “supply and demand.”  No one can deny the billions and billions of dollars in revenue that the sports entertainment industry generates every year:  Tickets, merchandise, apparel, even beer sales on Sunday can all be traced back to sports in some regard.  I think what people tend to forget sometimes when they complain about players’ salaries is that a football or baseball game isn’t just about rooting for your favorite team.  Whether you like it or not, it’s a business.  That’s where supply and demand comes in to play.  The sports industry—and society in general--demands to see the best players.  Check out the ticket sales and television ratings this year for the Colts and Texans.  Colts have better athletes.  Colts have a better team.  Colts win.  People pay to go see the Colts.  People who can’t go see the Colts in person watch the Colts on television and look at the commercials that companies pay big money for to advertise their products.  Companies sell more of their product and make more money.  If the Colts had Tom the plumber throwing to Jim the business exec instead of Manning to Harrison, people probably wouldn’t watch the Colts anymore. No more money for owners. No more money for television stations.  No more money for the guy who charges for parking across the street from the stadium, etc.  You see my point.  An unbelievable number of people benefit financially off these athletes—too many I’m sure for me to even fathom.  So why do so many fans criticize athletes’ salaries as they shuffle out of the stadium in their hats and jerseys, listen to sports radio on the way home for the game recap, watch the game’s highlights on Sportscenter before they go to bed, and read about the game the next day in the sports page? 

If you knew that as a result of whatever skill you performed, people were making ungodly amounts of money off of you, would you not want a very hefty salary to perform whatever it is you do?  Have you ever watched a television show and found out that a music group was paid $300,000 when their album made the record company 10 million?  You probably thought they got the royal shaft or at the very least, blamed the performers for being duped.  So why do people feel so differently about athletes than they do other entertainers when athletes ask for more money?  I’ve never gone to a movie and heard anyone say “Tom Hanks got paid 20 million dollars for this film.  That’s outrageous.”  Tom Hanks’ salary goes up or down in direct proportion to the number of ticket sales he is expected to create by appearing in a film.  The more money Tom Hanks brings in for the studio, the more money Tom Hanks’ agent asks for just like the more people who come to watch a sporting event because of a professional athlete’s presence, the more his agent asks for. But not nearly as many people label Tom Hanks as greedy like they label some pro athletes and say things like “what ever happened to making films for their artistic merit?” (I would address the topic of not honoring contracts here as I’m sure someone will make that point, but I’m not knowledgeable enough on the subject.  I will say that I know the system’s fairness has been questioned many times).  The most ironic part about all of the people who complain about athlete’s salaries is that they all hold the key to drastically reducing those salaries.  If starting this Sunday, everyone turned off their TVs and read a book, Randy Moss would soon become Randy the bus driver or whatever occupation he could find work in.  Of course, that’s not going to happen.  But the truth of the matter is that if you say an athlete is paid too much money, what you’re really saying is that our society places too much emphasis on sports as entertainment.  Which, if people were forced to examine their options (i.e. less watching sports and more reading books or whatever), I think they might quickly reconsider their stance.

This leads to me to ultimate question, then, of why people seemingly target athletes as opposed to any other performers.  And the answer I would offer up is simple:  jealously.  Pure, unabashed, poorly veiled jealousy in my eyes.  It doesn’t seem just.  Some of these athletes would have trouble carrying the one in a simple math problem or constructing a remotely coherent thought on paper.  So why should they make so much money and not you or I?  We work hard.  We went to college and studied hard to get that accounting job or busted our butts at the factory to move up the ladder there.  We don’t get to play a game for a living.  All very true, but all nothing more than terribly unfortunate for us.  We got the short end of the stick in this one.  Because the truth is that as good as a writer as I think I am, there’s thousands and thousands of people in this country alone who are either as good or better than me at what I do.  How many people could throw a ball like Manning or shoot a basketball like Jordan could?  Pardon my brief social commentary, but I would go so far as to say if you really want to see who the most overpaid people are in this country, a good place to start would be the CEOs of major companies who happen to have a really smart Daddy or Granddaddy, or Great-Grandaddy, or whomever.  What makes them worth so much money?  What about the guy who sits behind a desk at the factory because his buddy runs the company as opposed to the guys who make seven bucks an hour doing whatever physically grueling job they do?  It’s a lot easier for some of us to pick on the big, dumb, obnoxious athlete on TV dancing in the end zone than it is to look in the mirror, isn’t it?  The worst part about it is there isn’t a thing I can do about not being a professional athlete.  I think that’s why it upsets so many people.  If I need to be smarter to do something, I can study.  If I want to be a musician, I can keep practicing the guitar, etc.  I’m 5’11, 180 and probably run a 7.4 40-yard dash.  It doesn’t matter if I go to a gym and shoot hoops every night or run receiving routes in the street 8 hours a day for the next three years, I’m not even getting an invite to an NBA camp or an NFL combine, let alone a lucrative contract offer.  Just not fair, especially since I would love to play sports for a living.  But how many times have you heard someone tell you “life’s not fair.”  Probably a lot.  So next time you’re going to complain about how much money an athlete makes, I would ask you to reconsider. I think it kind of makes you sound like a whiner, especially considering that if you really want to change things, you should probably start by canceling your Sunday Ticket subscription and hanging out with your significant other during the game.  Yikes.

With all the talk about some of the finalists' true sports knowledge, I had to pull out some unique insight on a variety of topics.  Take this, Mitch Albom:

Everybody seems to be declaring Texas the National Champions, but let's wait and see what the computers have to say.  There could be some newspaper editors with egg on their face tomorrow morning if we see any "Dewey Defeats Truman"-like headlines.

You gotta admire Ron Artest's efforts to make it back to the NBA this year after sitting out a majority of last season due to injury.  Can't deny the guy's ability to overcome adversity, regardless of what you think of him as a gospel singer.

Did anybody stay up for the end to that Florida State/Penn State game? Oh man, double overtime.  Even though I'm a huge PSU fan and would have loved to see JoePa pull it out in his last game, you have to give it to Bowden for winning with class.  Too bad Joe decided to hang it up.  I bet Bowden will pass Paterno soon in career wins.  You wait and see.

Before the NBA instituted the three point line, how did the scorekeepers know when a shot was worth three points?  Call me Seinfeld for making such an obvious observation everyone has missed, but that must have been tough.

Did anyone see how far the Chiefs fell in May's NFL draft?  They have to be kicking themselves for not losing those last eight games on purpose and getting the first pick, especially since they could have really used LenDale White with their lack of a big-time back.

I've heard people talk about this guy for the Cavs as the next Michael Jordan.  I checked the boxscore and the guy's name is actually Lebron James.  Doesn't even sound like Michael Jordan.  Seriously, who pays these guys?

How about the stories out of golf lately?  Some of the best in recent memory have to be Jean Van de Velde finally winning a major and Jack Nicholson's swan song at the Masters.  Tiger Woods is still amazing and a very marketable celebrity, but Reebok should really give putting its swoosh on everything a rest. 

I know the Heat is tough on defense as it is, but they still might want to think about switching over to a 4-3.  You can always improve, even though those guys haven't earned the nickname "The Bad Boys" for nothing.

Did anyone see the su####iously noticeable absence of a running game the Packers had this year?  Maybe if Sherman would have put the ball in Ahman Green's hands a little more, he'd still have his job as offensive coordinator.  And for that matter, all these people saying Favre should retire should think back to Elway's last years in Miami.  No one got on him for trying to hang on and win at least one Super Bowl before he called it quits.

The Saints actually played a "home game" at the Meadowlands this year.  What, was there a "Grateful Dead" concert going on at the Superdome?  Just ridiculous.  If that doesn't prove that New York teams get all the breaks, I don't think anything does.

I hear all these talk-radio idiots ramble on about the Colts having their best chance at making a Super Bowl run since they finally get to play indoors.  Sorry fellas, I live about 45 minutes from Baltimore, and trust me, there's no dome over that stadium.  LOL. If the Colts want to play indoors, they're going to have to win at home and then go on the road to Denver and take down the defending champs on the Broncos' own turf.

I was watching one of the bowl games last week. The receiver caught it, but he didn't even come close to having two feet in bounds.  The worst part is not only did the ref blow the call, the team's coach didn't even challenge it!  He must have been too concerned with the possibility of losing a timeout, although they still were going to get a stoppage of play at the two minute warning, so I'm not really sure why he cared so much.  And what's the point of replay if you still can't get the call right?

What happened to all the NHL coverage last year?  The stations must have finally got sick of the low ratings and stopped showing the games.  Maybe "The Great One" has one more magical season left with the Oilers and he can bring some fans back to the game. 

Taking one last second for a non-sports related observation, though, I'm sure everyone has seen the voting scale on the right hand side of the finalists' blogs.  Are we on Star-Search?  I half expect Ed McMahon's voice to come through my computer's speakers and say "Challenger Detpack receives...1 3/4 stars...Champion "The Doc" receives...4 stars!  

Shockingly, my Williams Baptist and Central Baptist basketball preview seems to be falling on deaf ears.  Cute concept, but probably not worth a full post. I digress. 

I'm going to attempt to regroup quickly and try to churn out some NFL playoff commentary.  As I've said before, there are a lot of smart guys out there who can break the game down with statistics as well as valuable insight attained from being involved in the NFL.  I'm going to stick with what got me here and offer up some thoughts that would make John Madden look focused on the game when he's in the booth.

Ok, like a couple other of my counterparts, I decided to preview the Giants/Panthers game.  Here's how I see it:

Giants Offense

As much as it pains me to say this as a die-hard Eagles fan, it's hard to not like Tiki.  He's a great player, he's always classy, and his name is Tiki, so you know it must have been hard for him growing up as kid—especially when those tiki torches for your patio were a big craze.  Speaking of names, here's my gift to all of the Giants fans for the next ten years.  Instead of taunting your team's opponent with the traditional "look at the scoreboard" jab, I recommend repeating the saying "Oh my, Eli!" whenever Manning completes a pass.  I know, it sounds simple.  But seriously, say it out loud one time.  All right, say it in your head, but really say it with an obnoxious tone.  I guarantee if you break that out in a very annoying voice during the game, you will get under the opposing fan's skin so fast, he'll be sure to leave you alone until the end of the fourth quarter no matter what happens.   I threatened to bust that out all year long for fantasy football purposes, and another guy in my league took Eli with the second pick of the draft just so I didn't have the chance.

Giants Defense

Strahan just seems to be getting better with age, and Pepper Johnson still has what it takes to get the job done at the linebacker position.  We all know what number 56 can do on the field if he stays out of trouble off it, but I've never been impressed with Sehorn when it comes to shutting down a big-time wide receiver.  (Ok, I've kind of been exposed here a little bit.  While I am a die-hard NFL fan and familiar with pretty much every team's quarterback, running back, wide receivers, tight end, and kicker, sometimes the defenses give me a little trouble in terms of remembering the names of guys who aren't stars or haven't been around forever.  I'm not going to look up the information to jog my memory, even though I'd probably recognize a lot of the guys.  I'd rather just point directly to my embarrassing deficiencies before we go any farther.). 

Panthers Offense

The Panthers, of course, are led by Jake "daylight come and me wanna" Delhomme.  Chris Berman, I've always liked you.  But if the guy's name doesn't lend itself to a good nickname without a ten second lead in, just let it go and call him by his real name.  The words of the song are " daylight come and me wanna go home."  Just because "go home" and "Delhomme" sound similar, doesn't mean it's worth all the effort.  I haven't heard you talk about Delhomme handing off to Deshaun "the best part of waking up is Fosters in your cup."  Seriously.  I never thought this could ever be a possibility, but I don't want Primetime to end up jumping the shark.

Panthers Defense

The main thing I know about the Panthers' defense is that they've got a bunch of guys who make me sad.  Ricky Manning, Jr., practically won the game himself in Philly two years ago and Chris Gamble destroyed Penn State while he was with OSU.  I hate them all.  How's that for some hardcore analysis and astute observations?

Special Teams

I'm not sure how John Kasay can still walk, let alone boot 50-yard field goals, but the guy seems to always get it done.  Hasn't he had about 7 knee operations?  For the Giants, Jeff Feagles just established himself as the Cal Ripken of the NFL when he recently broke the most consecutive games played record.  That is, of course, if Cal Ripken came into all of his games as a pinch hitter and instead of having a pitcher throw to him, he hit off a tee.

Coaches

Both of these guys need to calm down.  I talked before about John Fox running a reverse against the Saints, which was just completely uncalled for in my opinion.  Then there's Tom Coughlin, who got all in a huff with a few players because "if you're on time, you're five minutes late."  I understand instilling discipline, Tom, but you are a football coach, not a drill sergeant.  And Plaxico Burress is not Private Benjamin.  You can run a tight ship without acting as if your entire team is reporting for detention.

Cheerleaders

Too easy.  Just not my style.  But I will say that if you're a big fan of unintentional comedy, check out the Panthers' website and the 2004 cheerleading squad photo with the caption that reads "Pride Of The Carolinas."  Not a joke.

Intangibles

Ok, this is really a stretch, but I just want to comment on the halftime show.  I hope it's good.  What I really want to ask, though, is did anyone see the halftime show of the Fiesta Bowl where the girl had a chance to throw the football and get $50,000 donated to the United Service Organizations?  Not surprisingly, she missed and the organization got $25,000.  With all due respect to the ladies out there, I don't think a woman has the best shot of throwing a football through that hole.  What's more appalling is that if she made it, the USO would have gotten 25,000 more dollars.  This money is not for some fat guy who won an online contest, it's for the men and women who serve our country.  Tighten up and fork over the dough, Tostitos, or don't make the offer to begin with.  I've never donated a dollar to the Salvation Army and told the guy ringing the bell I'd throw in a ten if he could beat me in a foot race to my car.

A Brief Moment Of Real Analysis

While Manning came on strong this year and surprised many, I don't think he's mature enough yet to handle the pressure of a playoff game.  I like the Panthers to win a close one by relying on Delhomme's experience in the clutch. I also expect to see another big day out of Steve Smith, who's got to have a chip on shoulder after barely getting a sniff of MVP talk after his amazing comeback season.

A Final Thought

If I bow out after this round, I'd feel remiss in not thanking my fellow blogging friends, the judges, and the sponsor of this contest, McDonald's.  I'd also like to give special props to McDonald's advertising department and whoever came up with the slogan "I'm Lovin' It."  Sure, those McNuggets probably aren't good for me, but what am I supposed to do?  I'm lovin' it.  I think your marketing strategy is much more effective than Burger King's, who reflects the rapidly declining quality of customer service in this country and actually tries to lure people into its restaurant with the slogan, "Have It Your Way."  Thanks Burger King, you guys are the best.  I'll be sure to eat here from now on and avoid places like Wendy's, whose new advertising campaign includes the catchy phrase "Fu*k you, just pick off the shi* you don't want." 

I thought about trying to be different and analyze one of the less talked about college basketball games this week, but ultimately I decided to go with the marquis match-up.  Of course I'm referring to the second meeting of the season between Williams Baptist College and Central Baptist College.  When these two NAIA Division I Basketball schools from Arkansas get together on the hardwood, it's almost always an instant classic.  And it's going to have to take some divine intervention for me not to be sitting courtside when they tip-off Thursday night at seven.  Actually, it might be eight, because that's what the Central Baptist website lists the start-time as.  I'm going to be there by seven just to be safe, though, because Williams Baptist seems to be the only school that has updated its website since the beginning of the season and they say seven.

Anyway, as we all know, Williams Baptist is led by Coach Jeff Rider and he'll look to bring his team back from the dead after not winning a game throughout all of December.  A victory against Central Baptist might be the Eagles' best chance to resurrect the positive outlook his team had to start the season.  Diaper dandy point guard Elisha Harris will try to get the ball inside to 6'3" sophomore forward Shane Jordan out of Marmaduke HS.  Ain't nothin' funny about this dog, though, as Jordan and the Eagles will try to avenge a 73-57 crucifixion at the hands of Central Baptist back in November.  If there were an underground betting scene that put out a line for NAIA games, I'd almost definitely take Williams Baptist and the points. In addition to Jordan, Chance "Don't call my brother 'Community Chest'" Smith from Bono, AR will also be settling down in the post.  U2, would have a hard time covering him if you played for Central Baptist.

What about that Mustang squad?  Again, this team is going to be a little harder to break down because their school's webmaster seems to have been resting since the seventh day of the season.  We'll start by looking at top management and athletic director Jeff Riddle.  Riddle me this, Jeff Riddle.  How can a Christian men's basketball team use "Mustang Basketball:  Together We Attack" as its motto.  Call me a Central Baptist heretic, but that sounds a little devilish to me.  I guess I am more of a Williams Baptist disciple, though, so I'm going to be biased in that regard.  Moving on, the key to this game for the Mustangs is whether or not 6' 7" Senior Center Shawn Stone can stay out of foul trouble.  I don't mean to judge, but I think the big man needs to fal-well and not risk having to head to the bench early on.  Also key to Central Baptist's success will be the play of guards Bo Martin and Tym Edwards.  Martin dishes the ball off about as well as anyone the NAIA has ever seen. And just like the Mustangs' traditional pre-game meal of a loaf of bread, there are plenty of helpings to go around, with Martin always finding a way to feed everyone the rock.  He's also got chilled wine in his veins at the line:  Bo knows the granny shot.  Let's not forget about Edwards, however, as nobody can handle adversity quite like this kid can.  In the previous meeting at Williams Baptist, the Williams Baptist student section had a field day with "Cagney and Lacey" chants when William Baptist's announcer let go a Freudian slip and referred to the 6'2" junior as Tyne Daly.  Senior forward Lamar Eslinger had to put up with the heckles all game long, too.  Who could have known by naming a #### character Lamar, the makers of "Revenge of The Nerds" would have such a far-reaching effect on black men all the way into the next century.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have been in emotional purgatory for the last forty days and forty nights while waiting for this game to start.  Let's hope it lives up to the hype caused by all of the people proselytizing about it over the last few weeks.  My pick?  In a miracle finish, Williams Baptist takes it, 3:16 to 3:15.

I'll be back before the deadline with a preview of another game.  Take care.

Info for this game's preview collected from these websites:

http://www.wbcoll.edu/athletics/mens_basketb
all/

http://www.cbc.edu/AthleticsMensBasketball/
Roster.htm 

***I put this up a little bit ago but forgot to assign a category when I first posted.  My bad.

I just want to express my well-wishes to all of the other finalists.  I've enjoyed reading your thoughts and am sure you guys are primed to fire off some great stuff.

I know a lot of people who look at any of these blogs aren't going to have the time to go back and read everything, so at the end of this blog is a little directory of "serious analysis," "comedic sports commentary,"and "blogger feedback pieces" with regards to what I have written.  I totally stole this idea from MBrady and would set up my blog like his if I wasn't so technologically inept.  Also, in the spirit of his good sportsmanship, I've added all of the finalists to my favorites list to make it easier for people to navigate the site. 

Comedic Sports Commentary

 

A Few More Sportscaster And Announcer Observations (Jan. 1)

 

Theme Songs For All 32 NFL Teams (Dec. 21)

 

Random Questions About Sports I Want To See Answered (Dec. 18)

 

Sports Industry Gimmicks (Dec. 15)

 

Does Anyone Have Brandon Stokley's Phone Number? (Dec. 13)

 

Quotes, Play Calls, Players, Coaches, Storylines, And Anything Else That Makes You Go "Hmmn?" (Dec. 12)

 

The Rose Bowl—A Gangsta's Paradise?  (Dec. 11)

 

Who Is The Most Annoying Sports Announcer (Dec. 10)

 

Rabid Sports Fans—The Angriest Of Men (Dec. 8)

 

Unemployment And Fantasy Football (Dec. 7)

 

Serious Sports Commentary

 

Another Hard Truth To ####, TO Was Right About The Media (Dec. 17)

 

Why Professional Athlete's Are More Likely Underpaid Than Overpaid...Seriously (Dec. 16)

 

Blogger Feedback Questions

 

The Heckle In Sports (Dec. 28)

 

What Is Your Worst Sports Fan Moment Ever? (Dec. 22)

 

 

As I look forward to Monday and the revealing of our topic of discussion, I thought I’d write about some more sportscaster and announcer tendencies that leave you befuddled and/or annoyed.  I know there’s been discussion in other blogs on here about the worst announcer quotes and I’ve talked before about some other quips announcers usually make during a game. Please consider this a continuation of the conversation.  Here are some more of my pet peeves:

The overuse of adjectives that don’t really fit the situation.

These adjectives usually include words like “amazing,” and “unbelievable.”  They’re typically used by news anchors when throwing out a teaser for an upcoming sports segment.  For example…“Still ahead, you don't want to miss the unbelievable finish in the Sixers game tonight!”  Then you stay tuned and it turns out Iverson hit a long three pointer as time ran out.  Frankly, I find that finish quite believable.  I’ve actually seen a similar finish quite a few times.  Iverson is the Sixers’ star so it’s not surprising that he got the ball in that situation.  Also, he’s a very good player, so the fact that he made it really doesn’t leave my jaw dropping either.  I would describe that ending to the game as “exciting.”  Now if the Sixers called a time out, then Manute Bol came out of retirement and emerged from the huddle for the last play, got the ball on a dish from Air Bud and finished the game off with a tomahawk jam,that I would describe as unbelievable.

The “I don’t want to jinx the kicker with a stat that indicates pefection but I’ll say it anyway.”

This is just maddening and I’m sure quite a few can relate.  Out trots your team’s kicker for the field goal and right before the guy’s about to kick, one of the announcers has to throw out a stat like the guy hasn’t missed from inside the forty in his last 38 tries.  Of course, right on cue, the guy misses.  As if it wasn’t bad enough he jinxed him, he’s got to make a joke of it and laugh at what he did:  “Hey, I guessed I must have jinxed him.  Ha Ha.  Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut”  No shi* you jinxed him, Al MIchaels.  Why did you have to give that stat before he kicked?  I don’t understand.  Why would you say that?!?  Why can’t you just wait until he makes the kick and say “that makes 39 for 39.”  How many times as this happened over the years? I’d love to see a stat on that.

The sportscaster who has to interject a witty reference or comment.

This phenomenon was documented in an SNL skit with Ray Romano (“Sweet sassy molassy.”  Ah, that was good stuff).  Anyway, even if someone thinks that it’s annoying when they do it on ESPN, at least their anchors are good at it.  My hometown has a sportscaster who is just awful.  I’m assuming the people who hired him and the newscasters around him either think he’s clever because they don’t watch sports, or they just send it over to him and stop listening.  Regardless of how mundane the highlight is, this guy’s got to throw something in there:  “Williams dropped back and hit his receiver deep, that ended the game and the kids started to weep. Oh man, let’s see that again, I just gotta peep.”  That was a high school football game, dude.  There were 300 people there.  Just tell me who won the game so you guys can go to commercial.  Is that too much to ask?  Is there any station I can go to anymore where they just tell me what happened and who won the game in a normal voice?

I’m going to head back to sports, now, if that’s ok, as some people’s insults have inspired me to talk about my next subject:  the heckle.  Ah, yes.  The heckle.  There’s nothing like hurling a good insult that is cloaked with so much wit, even the player himself must laugh at the disparaging remark that was just directed towards him.  And for those who can’t be witty, a well-timed “you suck!” can do the job just as well.

I’m going to be honest, here.  As much as I like to offer the biting commentary about certain things, I don’t have the personality it takes to be a good heckler.  I’m too shy.  True self-reflection:  I think this all goes back to eighth grade when I was watching a friend’s little league baseball game.  After the third baseman booted a ball, I started chanting EEEEEEEEEEE 6! EEEEEEEEEEEEE 6!  I thought I would be greeted with laughter from my friends, even if some of the parents couldn’t laugh along with us.  But alas, I had forgotten that the third baseman is really the number 5 position in baseball and the shortstop is number 6.  Not only that, but everyone looked at me as if to say “you’re not funny, you’re just a ####*.”  I never truly shouted a heckle like that again, even as I developed my confidence in other areas of life.  Heckling for me is now the equivalent of talking dirty in the bedroom:  Sure, I’ve got some great things to say.  But I just can’t get myself to speak up and say them.

I enjoy nothing better at a sporting event like I enjoy a good heckle.  I would have given my left arm to be sitting in front of the Panthers’ cheerleaders during their first game back after the Tampa incident or behind the Vikings bench during the Love Boat scandal.  Sadly, though, if I thought o####ood quip or chant I probably would have leaned over to a friend and seen if he would heckle for me.  Then maybe if it caught on, I could join in. 

I know the Cameron Crazies are apparently heralded for their creative heckling and I’m sure many of you can relate some clever stories from other venues.  Perhaps you were the one who heckled a player.  Or perhaps you are StaceyMargarita and you take your heckling to the next level by heckling fans and players alike.  Either way, I applaud your bravado.  I wish I had it in me.

So, can anyone offer up a comical heckling story?  I actually think this could be amusing.  If you want to reveal who your Super Bowl picks are, please keep them to yourself.  Couldn’t care less.  But if you’ve got a good heckling story, I’d sincerely like to hear it. One more day until blogger camp is over: