Well Ohio State fans, the time has come to enjoy some crow. LSU 38 - OSU 24...sigh.
It has been said that revenge is a dish best served cold. Some have said the same about crow, but I disagree. So...just because I care - I have provided you with some recipes that may help you stand the bitter bird just a bit easier.
Having been a life-long Dallas Cowboy fan, I have had several long stretches in which I have had time to perfect some of these recipes.
In skillet brown the crow breasts, then place them on a 1 1/2" layer of sauerkraut in bottom of a casserole. Cover each piece of meat with a strip of bacon and sprinkle the onion over them. Cover the breast with another layer of sauerkraut and pour sauerkraut juice over it. Bake two hours in oven heated to 350 degrees.
*Tip: Since your tears are naturally salty, crying a bit over the casserole, after removing from the stove, can add just that extra bit of needed seasoning that makes the dish special.
Crow and Mushroom Stew (Button and Buckeye Stew)
3 crows 2 Tbsp cream 1 Tbsp lard/shortening 1/2 cup mushrooms 1 pint stock or gravy salt and pepper cayenne pepper (this should be easy to find in Lousianna - may even be on the table)
Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them. Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir in cream. Arrange the mushrooms around the crows on a hot platter.
*Note: The pieces are big for a reason - it is supposed to be hard to ####. For some reason it is easier to pallete when eating it with friends and making excuses about the referees costing us the game - so be sure to invite your entire National Championship party entourage over for some.
Potted Crow: (BCS Buckeye Surprise)
6 crows 1 diced onion 3 bacon slices 1 diced carrot stuffing of your choice chopped parsley hot water or stock 1/4 cup flour 1/4 cup shortening buttered toast
Clean and dress crows; stuff and place them upright in stew-pan on the slices of bacon. Add the carrot, onion and a little parsley, and cover with boiling water or stock. Cover the pot and let simmer for 2-3 hours, or until tender, adding boiling water or stock when necessary. Make a sauce of the shortening and flour and 2 cups of the stock remaining in the pan. Serve each crow on a thin slice of moistened toast, and pour gravy over all.
*Tip: if you soak buckeyes in water for about a week, you can get this great bitter horse-chestnut sauce, pictured below, to pour over your dish. This reason is that you don't want to actually enjoy this dish - or you could be in danger of being the next Notre Dame.
TAKE HEART BUCKEYE FANS
On the upside, you can see that Ohio State will probably be better next year than they were this year. The 2006 recruiting class is starting to come into its own and may be good enough to win it all in spite of idiotic defensive coaching decisions made on their behalf. Only time will tell.
This is the time that I am supposed to say "better luck next year." - But I won't - because I don't mean it.
One last thing. This is for a few special people - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE - SEC is 7-2 in bowl games this year. The Big Ten? 3-5.
January 8, 2008: Ohio State loses to LSU 24-21. Now 0-9 vs. SEC teams.
It happened...again! Taking cues from Lloyd Carr's game plan against Florida, Jim Tressel's Buckeyes had this game in hand well into the 4th quarter. Having a lead against an SEC team this late in the game was uncharted waters for the otherwise very successful coach and those waters proved to be treacherous.
Hungry to finally score a win, Tressel didn't want to make a mistake. He decided to go conservative, so he pulled back and started reverting to the style of football Ohio State has played all year against its Big Ten brethren. In a play that will be known in infamy for years to come, he sent his linebackers to the line in their vaunted 6-1 defensive position and put the DB's in a three deep zone. When the ball was snapped, an all out blitz was sent towards the LSU quarterback who quickly threw the ball downfield to a streaking receiver who had easily gotten behind the zone for what turned out to be the game-winning 65-yard touchdown pass with only 23 seconds left on the clock.
When asked why he chose to change his gameplan when he seemingly had the game won, Jim Tressel replied, "I believe in dancing with the one who brought you. I wanted to beat them by playing the same way that got us to this championship game - with some good, hard Big Ten style football. In hindsight, maybe it was the wrong decision."
Somewhere in heaven, the famous, late Ohio State supporter Jimmy Neutron cries once again today.
January 15, 2008: Ohio State Applies for Membership in the SEC.
It's just been a week and already the fallout from Ohio State's 4th quarter collapse against the LSU Tigers has started. In a surprise move, in the spirit of "if you can't beat them - join them", the Athletic Director of Ohio State University has formally applied to become a member of the SEC. The Big Ten had initially filed a protest until the SEC reciprocated by offering a two-for-one deal packaging Mississippi and South Carolina.
Hesitant at first, the Big Ten director accepted because he reasoned that now the Big Ten will now have 12 teams and can earn some much needed respect among its conference peers by adding a conference championship game. The SEC officials were giggling as they left the room saying, "I can't believe they fell for it. We traded two cellar-dwellers for a team that will be average in the SEC. Now we only have 11 teams. [{chuckle-chuckle} - no more curs-ed championship game - now we can back a team into the National Championship game every year. The situation was explained delicately to South Carolina and Mississippi, but neither team minded because now they will both have a shot at winning seasons and bowl games.
Sensing the end of his gravy train, Jim Tressel pleaded his case to the Big Ten admin saying "really, we're gonna beat them this time", but was told "we've trusted you for seven years now, just as we had the coaches before you, and we just can't take your word for it anymore. We hope you can understand."
January 16, 2008: Jeff Foxworthy takes to the airwaves to taunt Buckeye fans.
The young comedian and recognized authority on red-necks, Jeff Foxworthy, caused quite a stir in the Columbus community today when he visited a local radio station to promote his Blue Collar Comedy tour. What was supposed to be a short preview of what you might hear at the concert with his "You might be a red-neck" shtick, morphed into an outright taunting o####roup of people who's psyches still have not mended from the events of the past couple of weeks.
Calls immediately began pouring into the station with enraged and outraged Buckeye fans. The OSU Athletic director issued a statement characterizing the statements as being "in poor taste", to which Mr. Foxworthy responded, "hey, y'all - I just call 'em like I see 'em".
The following is a short excerpt of some of the heinous things Mr. Foxworthy said:
"If your team hasn't beaten a SEC team in a bowl game - EVER...you might be a Buckeye." He then adds, "heck, even Vandy wins one in the SEC every once in a while."
"If your Alma Mater was written in 1902 on the train ride home, after the worst loss your team has ever suffered, to your most bitter rival Michigan 86-0...you might be a Buckeye." {mutters under his breath} "memorializing a butt-whipping - wow, that's pathetic."
"If you consider a 33-14 win against a 4-9 Washington team even remotely comparable to a 48-7 LSU whipping of an 11-2 Virginia Tech team...you might be a Buckeye."
"If you have to resort to rubbing necklaces made of barely-edible chestnuts because you "think it will help"...you might be a Buckeye."
"If you consider flipping off the winning team's bus as they leave the stadium, your state bird...you might be a Buckeye."
"If every time you get a Woody, it makes you briefly reminisce about college football...you might be a Buckeye."
and finally, "If the conference you constantly label as being "overrated" went 7-2 in bowl games and whipped your butt again this year...you just might be a Buckeye."
This reporter is, frankly, appalled.
January 21, 2008: In a surprise move, OSU Chancellor decides Ohio State coaching position to be decided by popular vote.
The Chancellor at Ohio State University announced a controversial decision today that the coaching position at Ohio State University would no longer be a hired position decided upon by school officials, but rather an elected position decided upon by the students, boosters and fans of the University every two years.
When asked why he made this decision, he explained that all of the correspondence he has received from boosters and fans in the last couple of weeks were chocked full of advice about how to better prepare for next year and what kind of players Jim Tressel needs to recruit in order to compete with our friends from the South. He reasoned that since the fans seemed to have all the answers that OSU has been searching for all these years, they should be involved in the decision making process of who should lead their team. Off the record, he also noted that if the fans decided on the coach, then if they lose to the SEC again, he couldn't be blamed.
When contacted, Jim Tressel said, "I am confident that I will be re-elected as coach. I stand by my moves and my record speaks for itself", but then conceded that he has tried to convince newly retired Michigan coach, Lloyd Carr, to be his running mate to boost his chances noting that Lloyd's 5-2 record against SEC teams also speaks for itself.
Remember...I was ASKED to do this by an Ohio State Fan. He said take your best shot...so I did.
Please keep your comments above board and intelligent. If you can't do that...at least keep them clean. Enjoy!
Oh, and Buckeye fans...Don't forget to cast your vote!
A cfd37Buckeye is trying to conjure the "Lou Holtz" curse on LSU. Click HERE to read his Pep Talk to the LSU Tigers:
EXTRA---EXTRA---READ ALL ABOUT IT! EXTRA---EXTRA---READ ALL ABOUT IT!
COLUMBUS DISPATCH HEADLINES:
January 8, 2008: Ohio State loses to LSU 24-21. Now 0-9 vs. SEC teams.
It happened...again. Taking cues from Lloyd Carr's game plan against Florida, Jim Tressel's Buckeyes had this game in hand well into the 4th quarter. Having a lead against an SEC team this late in the game was uncharted waters for the otherwise very successful coach and those waters proved to be treacherous. Hungry to finally score a win, Tressel didn't want to make a mistake. He decided to go conservative, so he pulled back and started reverting to the style of football Ohio State has played all year against its Big Ten brethren. In a play that will be known in infamy for years to come, he sent his linebackers to the line in their vaunted 6-1 defensive position and put the DB's in a three deep zone. When the ball was snapped, an all out blitz was sent towards the LSU quarterback who quickly threw the ball downfield to a streaking receiver who had easily gotten behind the zone for what turned out to be the game-winning 65-yard touchdown pass with only 23 seconds left on the clock. When asked why he chose to change his gameplan when he seemingly had the game won, Jim Tressel replied, "I believe in dancing with the one who brought you. I wanted to beat them by playing the same way that got us to this championship game - with some good, hard Big Ten style football. In hindsight, maybe it was the wrong decision." Somewhere in heaven, the famous, late Ohio State supporter Jimmy Neutron cries once again today.
January 15, 2008: Ohio State Applies for Membership in the SEC It's just been a week and already the fallout from Ohio State's 4th quarter collapse against the LSU Tigers has started. In a surprise move, in the spirit of "if you can't beat them - join them", the Athletic Director of Ohio State University has formally applied to become a member of the SEC. The Big Ten had initially filed a protest until the SEC reciprocated by offering a two-for-one deal packaging Mississippi and South Carolina. Hesitant at first, the Big Ten director accepted because he reasoned that now the Big Ten will now have 12 teams and can earn some much needed respect among its conference peers by adding a conference championship game. The SEC officials were giggling as they left the room saying, "I can't believe they fell for it. We traded two cellar-dwellers for a team that will be average in the SEC. Now we only have 11 teams. [{chuckle-chuckle} - no more curs-ed championship game - now we can back a team into the National Championship game every year. The situation was explained delicately to South Carolina and Mississippi, but neither team minded because now they will both have a shot at winning seasons and bowl games. Sensing the end of his gravy train, Jim Tressel pleaded his case to the Big Ten admin saying "really, we're gonna beat them this time", but was told "we've trusted you for seven years now, just as we had the coaches before you, and we just can't take your word for it anymore. We hope you can understand."
January 16, 2008: Jeff Foxworthy takes to the airwaves to taunt Buckeye fans
The young comedian and recognized authority on red-necks, Jeff Foxworthy, caused quite a stir in the Columbus community today when he visited a local radio station to promote his Blue Collar Comedy tour. What was supposed to be a short preview of what you might hear at the concert with his "You might be a red-neck" shtick, morphed into an outright taunting o####roup of people who's psyches still have not mended from the events of the past couple of weeks. Calls immediately began pouring into the station with enraged and outraged Buckeye fans. The OSU Athletic director issued a statement characterizing the statements as being "in poor taste", to which Mr. Foxworthy responded, "hey, y'all - I just call 'em like I see 'em".
The following is a short excerpt of some of the heinous things Mr. Foxworthy said:
"If your team hasn't beaten a SEC team in a bowl game - EVER...you might be a Buckeye." He then adds, "heck, even Vandy wins one in the SEC every once in a while."
"If your Alma Mater was written in 1902 on the train ride home, after the worst loss your team has ever suffered, to your most bitter rival Michigan 86-0...you might be a Buckeye." {mutters under his breath} "memorializing a butt-whipping - wow, that's pathetic."
"If you consider a 33-14 win against a 4-9 Washington team even remotely comparable to a 48-7 LSU whipping of an 11-2 Virginia Tech team...you might be a Buckeye."
"If you have to resort to rubbing necklaces made of barely-edible chestnuts because you "think it will help"...you might be a Buckeye."
"If you consider flipping off the winning team's bus as they leave the stadium, your state bird...you might be a Buckeye."
"If every time you get a Woody, it makes you briefly reminisce about college football...you might be a Buckeye."
and finally, "If the conference you constantly label as being "overrated" went 7-2 in bowl games and whipped your butt again this year...you just might be a Buckeye."
This reporter is, frankly, appalled.
January 21, 2008: In a surprise move, OSU Chancellor decides Ohio State coaching position to be decided by popular vote
The Chancellor at Ohio State University announced a controversial decision today that the coaching position at Ohio State University would no longer be a hired position decided upon by school officials, but rather an elected position decided upon by the students, boosters and fans of the University every two years. When asked why he made this decision, he explained that all of the correspondence he has received from boosters and fans in the last couple of weeks were chocked full of advice about how to better prepare for next year and what kind of players Jim Tressel needs to recruit in order to compete with our friends from the South. He reasoned that since the fans seemed to have all the answers that OSU has been searching for all these years, they should be involved in the decision making process of who should lead their team. Off the record, he also noted that if the fans decided on the coach, then if they lose to the SEC again, he couldn't be blamed. When contacted, Jim Tressel said, "I am confident that I will be re-elected as coach. I stand by my moves and my record speaks for itself", but then conceded that he has tried to convince newly retired Michigan coach, Lloyd Carr, to be his running mate to boost his chances noting that Lloyd's 5-2 record against SEC teams also speaks for itself.
Remember...I was ASKED to do this by an Ohio State Fan. He said take your best shot...so I did.
Please keep your comments above board and intelligent. If you can't do that...at least keep them clean. Enjoy!
Oh, and Buckeye fans...Don't forget to cast your vote!
Embattled Tennessee Coach Fulmer Deserves a Break.
Lets start with a short history of University of Tennessee football. The program started in 1891 and was known as being a perrenial loser. In 1926 a young aide to General Douglas MacArthur at Westpoint took the TN coaching position...Robert Neyland. In his first years his teams were 8-1, 8-0-1 and 9-0-1, including an upset of top-ranked Alabama. This put Tennessee on the football map and Neyland went on coaching TN through 1952 amassing a .829 winning percentage and a record of 173-31-12; his best season being 1938 in which the team was 11-0 and won a National Championship. He took 5 years off to go to WWII, attaining the rank of Brigadier General. During this time John Barnhill coached the team to an .846 winning percentage with a record of 32-5-2. This, incidentally, is the same John Barnhill who, after Neylands return from war, left TN to become the coach and athletic director at Arkansas. He built their program and eventually hired legendary coach Frank Broyles as his replacement, .
Since Neyland, Tennessee football has had seven different coaches. The most successful of them, by far, has been Phillip Fulmer with a record of 146-44. He has been to four SEC championship games (including this year - five), winning two and has an undefeated National Championship team to his credit in 1998. His teams have finished in the top 10 in the year-end polls six times, the top 15 ten times and the top 25 thirteen times. This year's team is currently #14.
Fulmer paid his dues as both a winning player under Doug Dickey at TN and as an assistant coach under Johnny Majors for 13 years, who he eventually replaced in 1992 when Majors' health was in question. He has a reputation as an ace recruiter, leading many opposing coaches and analysts to label him as one of college football's top recruiters.
He has lost to TN in-state rival Vanderbilt only once and has only once not taken the team to a bowl game...both in 2005 - his only losing season during his tenure posting a 5-6 record. Despite that bad year, his winning percentage is still among the elite in the country for coaches with over 10 years experience. Yet, since that year, many fans have been campaigning for his removal and have taken their cause to fanatical extremes - even to the point of publically stating that they hope TN loses this season so that Fulmer will be replaced.
What if the fans in Neyland's era called for his removal during the seasons following his return from war in 1947 and 1948 his teams posted 5-5 and 4-4 records respectively? What if they said, this is not the same coach who left to go to war...he's out of step and is losing to these younger coaches who are more innovative? TN would have missed out on back to back National Championship years in 1950 and 1951 under Neyland, just before his retirement as coach and promotion to AD.
Let's compare Fulmer's numbers to other top coaches shall we:
He has a better winning percentage than Joe Paterno (.748), who has also faced his share of naysayers in his down years. Joe has five losing seasons while at Penn State, but also two National Championships. He is the second winningest coach in history. Who would argue that Paterno isn't one of football's great coaches.
Fulmer has a better winning Percentage than Bobby Bowden(.762), who has one losing season to his credit at Florida State and two National Championships. He is the winningest coach in history. Who would argue that Bowden isn't a great football coach?
Let's compare his numbers to one of his similar-aged contemporaries in the same conference. He has a better record than Steve Spurrier, who has one losing season and one National Championship under his belt with a .756 winning percentage. Is Spurrier not considered a great coach?
Bottom line - Fulmer is a top notch coach, who has consistently kept Tennessee as one of the top teams in the country. He has helped to rally a team that was down early in this season to an improbable SEC Eastern Division Championship. If the Vols win today, he will have led this same team to a BCS bowl. TN has a great recruiting class coming in that want to play for him and by all accounts will keep TN in the National Picture for years to come.
Change for the sake of change is no good. All teams are going to have an off year or two. Noone is exempt from the occasional bad year and quality coaches are too hard to find - ask Alabama, Arkansas, Nebraska and dozens of other schools about that. The naysayers need only to compare the coaching records of others in their conference and around the country to begin to fully appreciate how good Fulmer has been and realize that their argument for his removal has no merit.
