questions

what if the nba, nfl and mlb all awarded points to teams based on number of minutes led, or how many times they led after a quarter ended (sort of like racing does w/laps led, and hockey does with...w/e the heck they do)?

where is the next great duke product, j.j. redick?

or how about the latest next great duke product, josh mcroberts?

are they hiding with waldo?

why does it seem like every nfl team traded 1 of their best defensive linemen (DT especially) this offseason?

does it surprise ANYONE that the raiders traded for deangelo hall, and then gave him the keys to the franchise with a mega-contract?

does it surprise anyone that they also signed javon walker to a 6 year, $55 million deal, after coming off 2 MORE knee surgeries and missing 8 games last season?

what are the odds, after losing randal gya and asante samuel, that troy brown will be starting at CB for the pats next year?

the mlb season is about to begin....which team is going to be their version of the patriots, whom all their "fans" believe is destined to win the world series, only to a) bomb in the regular season, b) tank in the 1st round of the playoffs, or c) steam roll their way to the WS, only to get beat by a sub-par (or shall we just say NL...?) team?

does your bracket look as bad as mine?

where are the florida fans?  wait, i'm guessing they're rebuilding, along with the program.

hey, did jeff green, former g-town standout, go pro?  i swear he did, but i cant say i've heard a word about him.

does anyone think michael beasly, k-state freshman phenom, will return for his sophomore season?

predictions

next season, there will be a new nba team, consisting of patrick ewing, dikembe motumbo, alonzo mourning, roy hibbert....and earl boykins.

to solve their QB dillema, the bears will coax jim mcmahon out of retirement.

milwaukee bucks owner herb kohl will convince his new GM (larry harris couldnt wait to get out, as kohl wouldnt let him do....his JOB) to draft some lithuanian project, because he sees a boat load of money from merchandise sales.

heather mills will be forced to ride in the luggage compartment, as the $48.6 mil she got from paul mccartney just isnt enough to live on.

the ncaa tournament will expand from 64...err, i mean 65....to 96, giving the top 32 teams a 1st round bye, and the 97th team will whine incessently about how they should have gotten in.

the nba will scrap its current playoff format, and allow every team into the postseason, in an effort to extend the season as long as the nhl does.  1st round series will last 3 games, and teams will be re-seeded after each round.

tiger woods will begin playing tournaments blindfolded, and still win.  honestly, i'm questioning whether this guy is really that good, or if everyone else just believes if they're ahead after 3 rounds, they win.

barry bonds will sign a minor league contract w/the pirates, and even though both knees are shot, will be allowed to bat sitting in a wheel chair, still manage to hit the ball out of the park, and run over at least 1 opposing infielder and an umpire on his way around the bases.

john kruk, even with the pirates 23 games back on may 15th, will predict they take over 1st place by the 1st of june.

duke will lose early in the ncaa tourney  (oops...they already did).

the cubs will win the world series (ok, seriously, i have to stop this now).

Billy Crystal

Yawn.  As I stated on Dudski's post, let me know when Jerry Seinfeld tries out at RB for the Patriots, and their entire LB corps gang tackles him in a walk through without pads, and I might care.

Doubtful though.

Brett Favre and Politics

No, it's not what you're thinking.

I just read in the newspaper the other day that the Wisconsin legislature passed some bill honoring the now retired (which, as I've learned from Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Roger Clemens and others, could change next week) QB.

Wonderful.  We were the last state in the Union to pass a budget last year (some 9 months into the fiscal year as I recall), but it took them all of about 10 days to write this legislation and pass it.

That's not even the worst of it.  Why are we taking time out of working on important things like the budget, immigration laws, unemployment fixes, and the dreades oil/gas price explosion to work on something so incredibly stupid?

Do we really need an official Brett Favre holiday?  People around here already think he's God.  They don't go to church on Sunday, they sit and watch replays of his biggest games (which basically means playoff games....prior to 2000).

On a Related Topic....

Work is underway to make St. Patricks Day an official, federal holiday.

Why?  Here's another situation where we really don't need to make this a federally recognized holiday in order to get drunk, and eat something that's going to give us really really bad gas (corned beef and cabbage).

Hey, before you get all bent out of shape thinking I'm bashing Irish people....I'M PART IRISH.

But what's going to happen here?  We've got St. Patty's day, Good Friday, Easter and all that mess jumbled up into 1 week's time this year.  All we'd be doing is giving Congress and the rest of the politicians another reason to take another 2 weeks off work (paid for by us of course) in the spring, and extend the amount of time we have to work before we've cleared the amount of income taxes they're going to molest us of.

Bobby Knight on ESPN....

As much as I dislike the guy, I can almost tolerate him now.  Well, based on the 1 time I heard him talking about the conference tourneys anyway.

But, he rambles a bit too much.

Come on, did you really expect me to LIKE a sports "analyst"?

kelvin sampson

the phrase "they are who we thought they were" became famous when dennis green went nuts in a post-game press conference last fall.

kelvin sampson is who i thought he was.  a guy who has a problem abiding by the ncaa rules regarding contact with potential recruits.

i dont care how stupid the rule might be, it's still the rule.  you dont see bobby knight, coach K, lute olsen, tom izzo and the like getting caught doing this stuff regularly, so why cant sampson get a grasp for this simple rule?

hoody

yesterday morning jason smith, on espn radio, gave us some big news from patriot-land.

the bill belichick hoody is the most popular item being sold at the patriots pro shop.  not tom brady jerseys.  not randy moss jerseys.  the homeless man hoody.

it's not news, and nobody should care.  smith even said so.  then he rambled on about it for like 5 minutes.  i'm rambling on about it because i think it's hilarious how desperate sports-talk radio hosts are for material that junk like this even makes the air.

manny being manny

ok, the guy has talent.  no denying it.  but does he have the slightest clue what's going on 90% of the time?  first, he celebrates a home run against cleveland by flipping his bat and admiring the ball as it sailed to the bleachers (to bring his team within 7-4 mind you), then he makes a statement about possibly losing the series as 'not the end of the world.'

ok, he's right about that, but it's how he said it more than what he said.

i'd say he's about 9 eggs short of a dozen, and the other 3 are cracked.

joe torre and kobe bryant

joe might go, kobe might too.  or not.  or maybe.  or maybe not.

if i were torre, i'd break down george steinbrenner's door, flip him the bird, and tell him to shove his manager's job where the sun dont shine.

if i were kobe, i'd use those 2 magic words from this moment on whenever the media asks about anything regarding him possibly being traded....."no comment."

it sounds like the lakers dont want to trade kobe because they'd have to go into full rebuild mode.  i'm wondering how that would so different than what is going on right now.

yeah, kobe puts butts in the seats.  but in '09, he's going to leave (assuming he's still there) anyway, and the lakers will be left with nothing, have won nothing between now and then, and have to start from scratch anyway.

why not start over NOW so that in 2 years, maybe they'll be competitive again, and not have the daily drama that revolves around kobe, jerry, mitch, phil, penelope, dierdre, austin, carson, jenna, and jacoby (i made those last 6 names up to complete the soap opera cast)?

are the lakers in financial trouble, and cant afford to not fill the arena every game this season or something?

oh, and if i was kobe, i'd also ease up on the no-trade clause thing too.  it really handicaps a deal getting done when he'll basically only agree to a trade to 2 teams, and only then if said team doesnt give up their best player in return.

a rare pat-myself-on-the-back moment (followed by me biting the hand that feeds me)

i've now made the fox funhouse blog spotlight 3 times (that i can recall), with 2 of them coming in the last week or so.

i'm honored and humbled to be chosen for such recognition.....but i have a favor to ask the funhouse crew.

could you look a little closer at my screen name and spell it correctly next time (if there is a next time)?  one "Z", two "F's".  i'd appreciate it, and i thank you in advance.

one more thing

i had more when i attempted to post this last night, but i accidentally hit the back button on my mouse and erased the whole f'n thing.  if i think of the other stuff, i'll try and throw it in my next pulitzer prize-worthy edition.

i was watching Monday Night RAW on USA network.  normally, i'd flip back and forth during commercials, but i couldnt find the f'n remote, and getting my fat, lazy #### off the couch every 3 minutes just wasnt going to happen.

the good news is, vince mcmahon got his head shaved at wrestlemania last night.  the bad news is two-fold.

1. he looks like a complete #### now (not that he was cool looking before).  to clarify, some people can pull off the bald look, VKM cant.

2. donald trump is still walking around with that dead squirrel on his cranium. 

the sad reality is that there was no way this silly feud was going to end with trump getting his head shaved, which took any pleasure i might have gotten from it from the start.

_______________

before i did a cannonball onto the couch to watch RAW,  i was celebrating an opening day victory by the brewers.  for the second year in a row, the crew sits atop the central division standings.  i only bring it up because there's always a chance it could be the only day the spend in first place.  unfortunately, we have to share it with the reds and pirates.  at least pittsburgh fans can say they got to see their team in first for a day.

ben sheets (no, he didnt go on the DL) pitched a 2 hit complete game, allowing only a solo HR to jeff kent to lead off the 2nd, and a double to brady clark (seems kind of wierd to see clark in a dodger uniform) in the 9th before closing the door on a 7-1 win.

it was a pretty good game all around for the brewers.  sheets was outstanding on the mound, the defense behind him made a few plays to rob the dodgers of base hits, and the offense did a very good job putting runs on the board in different situations.

they ran the bases well, moved runners over at times, find a couple holes with ground balls, and use some speed to get base hits, and take extra bases on a couple balls hit to center field.

one brewer fan was a bit upset that they managed to strike out 8 times as  a team, but 3 of those were by sheets, and it IS only opening day.  if this was a couple months into the season, and only 1 (or zero) of the K's belonged to the pitcher, it would concern me.  today i'm just happy with the victory.  (now watch, tomorrow they'll strike out 15 times, put up a goose egg, and allow 14 runs, walk 10, commit 4 errors, and 2 key players will get hurt and be out for the year)

____________

i did get to see the last few minutes of the florida/OSU game.  about the only surprise i got was when they put up oden's numbers, and not only did he stay out of foul trouble for the most part, but he played almost the entire game.  unfortunately for him, he was gassed at crunch time, and was unable to help the buckeyes make another comeback in the tourney. 

the only thing left to talk about for college bball for the next 6 months or so is the coaching carousel, and which underclassmen will be declaring for the nba draft.

.....let the speculation begin!

i picked BYU because i thought they were actually good enough to win....remind me to never pick one of edclinch's teams again.

on second thought, i picked against indiana, and they won.  dammit!

as of this very moment, i've picked 18 winners out of 24 games.  as my luck would have it, that puts me in 17th place in socal's blogger challenge, out of 49 participants.

wisconsin won, which saved me 3 losses, since i had them eventually losing to florida in the regional final.  i quit watching today after they fell behind by 20 points in the first half.  a couple times i checked on the radio in my car, and it wasnt getting any better.  then after about half an hour, i checked the game on the radio again, and they were ahead.  once again, when i give up watching/listening, my team decides to start playing again....at least they won.

nobody was laughing harder than me when the final buzzer sounded and ended duke's season.  i caught the final 50 seconds or so, and i would have put money on josh mcroberts laying down adam morrison-style at mid-court and crying like a little girl who just had her pigtails pulled.

somebody please explain to me how i could have picked albany to not only win their opener, but also the 2nd round game? 

i should have known better than to pick marquette.  not because tom crean was going up against his teacher, tom izzo, but because the golden eagles hadnt done much of anything since dominic james forgot how to shoot the ball, and everyone else decided free throw shooting is only for white guys named nash, neitzel or price.

the big ten is undefeated, pending the outcome of purdue/arizona and illinois/virginia tech (as of this moment, they're both ahead with under 7 minutes to go).  and here i was told by all the experts, and some that arent, how bad the big ten is, and only deserved 4 bids, 5 at the most.

the only thing those experts had right, that i also picked because they told me too, was winthrop beating notre dame.  somebody should have told the golden domers this is basketball, and not a bowl game.

texas is having all kinds of trouble with new mexico state.  i'm sure durant will bail them out, he's pretty good from what i hear.  some nutless texas fan with a chuck weiss-sized man-crush on him has been harrassing badger fans claiming alando tucker sucks, in large part because the badgers struggled against A&M-CC today.  i wonder if that means durant is a hoser since the longhorns are having trouble with NMSU.

you know it's bad when your sister, who rarely ever watches college ball other than the home team(s), has a better record in the tourney than you do....no offense to the ladies.