kelvin sampson

the phrase "they are who we thought they were" became famous when dennis green went nuts in a post-game press conference last fall.

kelvin sampson is who i thought he was.  a guy who has a problem abiding by the ncaa rules regarding contact with potential recruits.

i dont care how stupid the rule might be, it's still the rule.  you dont see bobby knight, coach K, lute olsen, tom izzo and the like getting caught doing this stuff regularly, so why cant sampson get a grasp for this simple rule?

hoody

yesterday morning jason smith, on espn radio, gave us some big news from patriot-land.

the bill belichick hoody is the most popular item being sold at the patriots pro shop.  not tom brady jerseys.  not randy moss jerseys.  the homeless man hoody.

it's not news, and nobody should care.  smith even said so.  then he rambled on about it for like 5 minutes.  i'm rambling on about it because i think it's hilarious how desperate sports-talk radio hosts are for material that junk like this even makes the air.

manny being manny

ok, the guy has talent.  no denying it.  but does he have the slightest clue what's going on 90% of the time?  first, he celebrates a home run against cleveland by flipping his bat and admiring the ball as it sailed to the bleachers (to bring his team within 7-4 mind you), then he makes a statement about possibly losing the series as 'not the end of the world.'

ok, he's right about that, but it's how he said it more than what he said.

i'd say he's about 9 eggs short of a dozen, and the other 3 are cracked.

joe torre and kobe bryant

joe might go, kobe might too.  or not.  or maybe.  or maybe not.

if i were torre, i'd break down george steinbrenner's door, flip him the bird, and tell him to shove his manager's job where the sun dont shine.

if i were kobe, i'd use those 2 magic words from this moment on whenever the media asks about anything regarding him possibly being traded....."no comment."

it sounds like the lakers dont want to trade kobe because they'd have to go into full rebuild mode.  i'm wondering how that would so different than what is going on right now.

yeah, kobe puts butts in the seats.  but in '09, he's going to leave (assuming he's still there) anyway, and the lakers will be left with nothing, have won nothing between now and then, and have to start from scratch anyway.

why not start over NOW so that in 2 years, maybe they'll be competitive again, and not have the daily drama that revolves around kobe, jerry, mitch, phil, penelope, dierdre, austin, carson, jenna, and jacoby (i made those last 6 names up to complete the soap opera cast)?

are the lakers in financial trouble, and cant afford to not fill the arena every game this season or something?

oh, and if i was kobe, i'd also ease up on the no-trade clause thing too.  it really handicaps a deal getting done when he'll basically only agree to a trade to 2 teams, and only then if said team doesnt give up their best player in return.

a rare pat-myself-on-the-back moment (followed by me biting the hand that feeds me)

i've now made the fox funhouse blog spotlight 3 times (that i can recall), with 2 of them coming in the last week or so.

i'm honored and humbled to be chosen for such recognition.....but i have a favor to ask the funhouse crew.

could you look a little closer at my screen name and spell it correctly next time (if there is a next time)?  one "Z", two "F's".  i'd appreciate it, and i thank you in advance.

one more thing

i had more when i attempted to post this last night, but i accidentally hit the back button on my mouse and erased the whole f'n thing.  if i think of the other stuff, i'll try and throw it in my next pulitzer prize-worthy edition.

biggest disappointment by an overrated team in the first round of the playoffs.

this one has to go to the yankees. just about everyone knew their pitching wasnt good enough to win, but not many expected their offense to pull a david copperfield. this was, after all, supposed to be "murderer's row plus cano."

worst offensive performance by an individual player in the first round.

you could give this one to A-Rod i guess, but i think joe mauer is more deserving for 1 reason. he hit .342 in the regular season, A-Rod hit .290. plus, let's be honest, A-Rod did exactly what so many of us expected, so it's tough to give a guy an award when he didn't really earn it.

most surprising performance (positive) by an individual in the 1st round.

kenny rogers. not only had he been clobbered by the yankees in the past, but he was also 0-9 lifetime in the postseason. even though the yankees have already earned an award for crappy offense, you have to give a ton of credit to rogers for his game 3 dominance. nobody expected it, probably not even most tiger fans.

worst defensive play of the first round.

this one goes to torii hunter, for missing that shallow fly ball by the A's mark kotsay that turned into an inside the park homerun. whether he misplayed the ball, or was simply trying to hard to make a spectacular play, that one hurt the twins bigtime. it turned out to be the deciding play in game 2, and the twins never threatened in game 3.

biggest move that didnt happen, even though EVERYONE "knew" it was coming.

lets see here...joe torre got fired right? wait, he's going to retire. no, he's stepping down so that joe girardi, don mattingly or lou piniella can take over and stroke A-Rod's...ego. OOPS! joe's not getting fired, not retiring, and not stepping down. in a shocking move, george steinbrenner decided not to can joe, even though just about the entire baseball-watching world thought he would, including all the brain-dead experts on espn and fox.

here's an idea for all you guys...next time, wait until a guy actually gets fired before jumping on the story, you'll save yourself the embarrassment of having to retract your statements, or try and come up with an explanation as to how anyone could possibly do something other than what you said they would, should or were going to do.

the "be careful what you wish for" award.

the san diego padres get this one, for hoping they'd get to face the st. louis cardinals in the NLDS. after getting ousted by the cards in 2 previous playoff matchups by a combined 6 games to 1, they got swept again. this time it was by a team that could only manage to win 83 regular season games, and by all accounts looked like the worst team to make it to the playoffs.

***just added by biglar***

 most suprisingly nimble fat man.

 ronnie belliard....seriously, the dude had "belli" in his name, and he must have thought that meant he had to have one...his middle name must be "butts" or something, cuz he's got a wider rear end than some oversized-construction equipment.  especially considering the guy looks like he's only about 5'6" tall.

let me start off by saying i'm sorry i missed goingDownTownonhisownsisterRob's farewell party, but i hope everyone had a good time.  and i'm shocked he went away so quickly, i really thought he was in it for the long haul.

how about them yankees? 

i think i've heard/read 193 excuses why they didnt win the series against detroit, and 187 of them involved A-Rod being a complete waste of a roster spot.  the other 6 mentioned joe torre being a horrible manager.  now, torre has reportedly been fired, and the prophet buster olney says A-Rod is almost certainly going to be traded prior to the start of spring training in '07.

the yankees were horrible hitting with runners in scoring position, which, if it were milwaukee, means the hitting coach should be fired.  the pitching was bad, but what do you expect from a 78 year old randy johnson, WITH back problems?  i find it ironic that the yankees could win 97 games in the regular season with bad pitching, and both corner outfielders missing more than half the season, but when both are healthy, they can only muster 1 "W" against the tigers, who limped into the postseason by losing their final 5 games, including a sweep by the friggin royals.  then, consider kenny rogers made the yankees his #### in game 3, even though he had never won a postseason game prior to that, AND pitched like garbage against the yankees in the past.

 then you have jeremy bonderman, who was shut down toward the end of his rookie season to prevent him from losing 20 games.  this year, he went 14-8, with a 4.08 ERA and 202 strikeouts.  oh yeah, and he shut down the yankees in game 4, after getting waxed in 2 previous starts against them in the regular season. 

 poor ron gardenweasel....errr gardenhire.

 i guess the clock struck midnight on cinderella.  not only did the twins get swept, but their best pitcher was upstaged by this offseason's top free agent.  plus joe mauer hit a uecker-esque .182 in the 3 games, after posting a major league best .347 BA in the regular season.  maybe they'd have been better off taking the same route detroit took, so they could have faced the yankees instead.

 badgers win!

 i admit, i was skeptical about this game, especially after what happened last year between wisconsin and northwestern.  lucky for us, northwestern doesnt have the explosive offense of a year ago.  41-9 looks like a butt-kicking of epic proprotions, but it could have been much more one-sided than that, if not for 2 fumbles by paul hubbard, and an interception by john stocco, all deep in nortwestern territory.  p. j. hill rushed for 249 yards on 35 carries.  he is now being compared to ron dayne.  i happened to mention a couple similarities between the two a few weeks ago, but now the media has finally caught on.  of course, one major difference between the 2 is that hill can actually catch the ball, whereas dayne had hands of stone when it came to being a receiver.

 since the badgers won, the packers HAD to lose.

 i didnt see the game.  i did see on nfl network that the score was 7-0 rams less than 6 minutes into the game.  then i shut the tv off.  i turned on the radio with about 1:20 left, and the packers driving, but down 23-20.  i looked at my dad and said...."they cant possibly win."  2 plays later, inside the red zone, favre was stripped of the ball, st. louis recovered, and ran out the clock.  remember though, brett favre is STILL the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be...wait, that's actually bret hart.  favre is actually the best there was in the mid-nineties, but is now simply an aging quarterback standing in the way of developing the future(?) signal caller. 

 T.0. returns to philly, and makes it out alive.

 the funny part about this game is that drew bledsoe was the cowboy player running his mouth about how the eagles defense should come after him, because with the group of receivers he has to work with, he would make them pay...i guess 3 interceptions, 1 fumble lost and getting sacked 7 times for 49 yards is paying the price.  t.o. had very little impact on the game, but considering his quarterback was either laying on his back, or throwing the ball to the other team, its tough to expect much.

 lets throw out the college football polls already.

 this may be the only thing that causes more whining among fans than bad officiating.  one guy thinks team X shouldnt be rated as high as they are because they didnt beat anybody, while another guys says his team should be ranked higher because they beat so-and-so who only lost by 12 to team Y.  now entire conferences are being labeled as overrated, soft, and talentless.  here's the deal.  the SEC might be overrated, but not because it lacks talent.  the simple fact is that when so many good teams are in 1 conference, somebody HAS to lose a game or 2 that is good enough to run the table in almost every other conference.  the SEC could have 3 teams deserving of a BCS bid.  any other conference is lucky if it has 2.