Billy Crystal

Yawn.  As I stated on Dudski's post, let me know when Jerry Seinfeld tries out at RB for the Patriots, and their entire LB corps gang tackles him in a walk through without pads, and I might care.

Doubtful though.

Brett Favre and Politics

No, it's not what you're thinking.

I just read in the newspaper the other day that the Wisconsin legislature passed some bill honoring the now retired (which, as I've learned from Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Roger Clemens and others, could change next week) QB.

Wonderful.  We were the last state in the Union to pass a budget last year (some 9 months into the fiscal year as I recall), but it took them all of about 10 days to write this legislation and pass it.

That's not even the worst of it.  Why are we taking time out of working on important things like the budget, immigration laws, unemployment fixes, and the dreades oil/gas price explosion to work on something so incredibly stupid?

Do we really need an official Brett Favre holiday?  People around here already think he's God.  They don't go to church on Sunday, they sit and watch replays of his biggest games (which basically means playoff games....prior to 2000).

On a Related Topic....

Work is underway to make St. Patricks Day an official, federal holiday.

Why?  Here's another situation where we really don't need to make this a federally recognized holiday in order to get drunk, and eat something that's going to give us really really bad gas (corned beef and cabbage).

Hey, before you get all bent out of shape thinking I'm bashing Irish people....I'M PART IRISH.

But what's going to happen here?  We've got St. Patty's day, Good Friday, Easter and all that mess jumbled up into 1 week's time this year.  All we'd be doing is giving Congress and the rest of the politicians another reason to take another 2 weeks off work (paid for by us of course) in the spring, and extend the amount of time we have to work before we've cleared the amount of income taxes they're going to molest us of.

Bobby Knight on ESPN....

As much as I dislike the guy, I can almost tolerate him now.  Well, based on the 1 time I heard him talking about the conference tourneys anyway.

But, he rambles a bit too much.

Come on, did you really expect me to LIKE a sports "analyst"?

kelvin sampson

the phrase "they are who we thought they were" became famous when dennis green went nuts in a post-game press conference last fall.

kelvin sampson is who i thought he was.  a guy who has a problem abiding by the ncaa rules regarding contact with potential recruits.

i dont care how stupid the rule might be, it's still the rule.  you dont see bobby knight, coach K, lute olsen, tom izzo and the like getting caught doing this stuff regularly, so why cant sampson get a grasp for this simple rule?

hoody

yesterday morning jason smith, on espn radio, gave us some big news from patriot-land.

the bill belichick hoody is the most popular item being sold at the patriots pro shop.  not tom brady jerseys.  not randy moss jerseys.  the homeless man hoody.

it's not news, and nobody should care.  smith even said so.  then he rambled on about it for like 5 minutes.  i'm rambling on about it because i think it's hilarious how desperate sports-talk radio hosts are for material that junk like this even makes the air.

manny being manny

ok, the guy has talent.  no denying it.  but does he have the slightest clue what's going on 90% of the time?  first, he celebrates a home run against cleveland by flipping his bat and admiring the ball as it sailed to the bleachers (to bring his team within 7-4 mind you), then he makes a statement about possibly losing the series as 'not the end of the world.'

ok, he's right about that, but it's how he said it more than what he said.

i'd say he's about 9 eggs short of a dozen, and the other 3 are cracked.

joe torre and kobe bryant

joe might go, kobe might too.  or not.  or maybe.  or maybe not.

if i were torre, i'd break down george steinbrenner's door, flip him the bird, and tell him to shove his manager's job where the sun dont shine.

if i were kobe, i'd use those 2 magic words from this moment on whenever the media asks about anything regarding him possibly being traded....."no comment."

it sounds like the lakers dont want to trade kobe because they'd have to go into full rebuild mode.  i'm wondering how that would so different than what is going on right now.

yeah, kobe puts butts in the seats.  but in '09, he's going to leave (assuming he's still there) anyway, and the lakers will be left with nothing, have won nothing between now and then, and have to start from scratch anyway.

why not start over NOW so that in 2 years, maybe they'll be competitive again, and not have the daily drama that revolves around kobe, jerry, mitch, phil, penelope, dierdre, austin, carson, jenna, and jacoby (i made those last 6 names up to complete the soap opera cast)?

are the lakers in financial trouble, and cant afford to not fill the arena every game this season or something?

oh, and if i was kobe, i'd also ease up on the no-trade clause thing too.  it really handicaps a deal getting done when he'll basically only agree to a trade to 2 teams, and only then if said team doesnt give up their best player in return.

a rare pat-myself-on-the-back moment (followed by me biting the hand that feeds me)

i've now made the fox funhouse blog spotlight 3 times (that i can recall), with 2 of them coming in the last week or so.

i'm honored and humbled to be chosen for such recognition.....but i have a favor to ask the funhouse crew.

could you look a little closer at my screen name and spell it correctly next time (if there is a next time)?  one "Z", two "F's".  i'd appreciate it, and i thank you in advance.

one more thing

i had more when i attempted to post this last night, but i accidentally hit the back button on my mouse and erased the whole f'n thing.  if i think of the other stuff, i'll try and throw it in my next pulitzer prize-worthy edition.

NFL

- the miami dolphins will make history again this year.  they'll forever be remembered for 2 things.  first, for having the only undefeated season in nfl history, and 2nd for not winning a single game in an entire season.  0-16 is coming!

- adrian peterson will win the ROY.  (yeah, that's out there, isnt it?)

- the bears will bench brian griese over their bye week, and replace him with devin hester.  they'll also replace their offensive line (except the center) with brian urlacher, lance briggs, and their 2 defensive tackles.  they block better anyway, and this group will give the bears a better chance to score on offense.

- vinny testeverde will announce, upon david carr's return to the lineup, he is retiring.  then he'll sign with the atlanta falcons and start for them the next week.

- the madden curse has hit.  word is vince young is hurt.  next year's early leader to grace the cover is T.O.  he'll get hurt too, but still be able to play.  he's going to get his big flashy pearly white teeth knocked out by wade wilson or tony romo during training camp.

- in an effort to turn around this year's disappointing performance, the chargers will fire norv turner and trade 3 conditional draft picks to the chiefs for herm edwards.  marty couldnt win the big one, and norv couldnt even get there, but i just know herm can do it.

NBA

- pat riley will pull a ted danson, and show the world his hair isnt real.

- j.j. redick will win MVP (of the euro league once he gets cut by orlando).

- kobe bryant will lead the league in assists.

- allan houston will win the comeback player of the year.  if he averages 5 points he's going to win this, it's a no brainer.

- greg oden will win the ROY even though he isnt going to play this year.  my sources tell me that he'll be too old to qualify after this season, and every future HOF'er (i dont think he was voted in yet) should have this award on his resume.

- mark cuban will put himself on the maverick dance team, claiming they dont show enough emotion or excitement when they perform.

- the sonics will move out of seattle.  it wont be OK city they move to though.  it will be kansas city, so that more people on the east coast can see kevin durant play without having to stay up until after 2 a.m. to do so.

MLB

- mark cuban wont buy the cubs afterall.  instead, he's being groomed as bud selig's replacement as the commish.

- the cubs will spend another $300 million this offseason, and still wont be able to get out of the 1st round of the playoffs (if they make it that far).

- as reported earlier today, george steinbrenner will in fact hand the team over to his sons.  from what i've learned about fathers who hand the reigns of the company/business to their son(s), they'll run it into the ground within 3 years, or their wives will divorce them and get ownership of the team in the settlement.

- A-Rod will sign a veteran's minimum contract with the tampa bay devil rays, in a last-ditch effort to stick it to george steinbrenner for how he talked about him last season ('06).

- barry bonds will also sign with the d-rays, and they'll lead the majors in runs scored.  too bad they'll also lead the league in runs allowed.

- they'll still make the playoffs with a -50 run differential :)

- the cubs new owner will be michael jordan, and he'll also become a player/manager.

- this will lead to even more wild "curse" theories by cubs fans as to why their team blows come october (or earlier if they dont make it that far).

CFB

- south florida will face kentucky in the nat'l championship game.  can you say ratings bonanza?

- after the lowest ever rated NC game, the NCAA will finally institute a playoff format, where the top team from each BCS conference and 2 wild cards will be chosen in a similar way to the NFL.

- michigan will win the B10 conference championship after finally beating OSU.

- the buckeyes will still get the better BCS bowl bid, and michigan will have to play hawaii.

CBB

- chorizo will have wisconsin #1 in his poll until they lose at least 5 games.

- indiana will fire kelvin sampson (if you dont know why, i predicted he'd screw up his next last chance with some kind of recruiting violations, which he reportedly was just found guilty of) prior to the start of the B10 season.

- dikkie vitale will lose his voice and have to speak in sign language.  he'll still be the most annoying analyst on the planet.

- bruce pearl and whatshername (the women's coach at TN) will be married by this time next year.

the basics

ksp asked me yesterday who my favorite brewer was.  when i told him, he wasnt satisfied, and wanted to know my current favorite brewer and buck players.

i'm going to take it a little further.  i'll give my favorite current and all-time player of the bucks, brewers, packers, and wisconsin football and basketball teams (including women....i'll explain that when we get there).

bucks- current favorite player is mo williams.  the easy answer here is of course michael redd.  as you'll find out for yourself as this post drags goes along, my favorite isnt always going to be the most popular or most likely.  2nd choice is charlie bell, and hopefully he re-signs with us.

all-time favorite would have to be paul pressey.  vin baker in his first few seasons was awesome, but he really hit hard times after we traded him away (he may have just been hiding it better while he was here for all i know).  ray allen is a close 2nd.  honorable mention goes out to fred roberts, larry krystkowiak, brad lohaus and frank brikowski (not so much because of their talent).

brewers- bleh.  what a time to have to pick a favorite player.  they all stink right now.  anyway, i'm going with dave bush.  the guy is a gamer.  not afraid of any hitter, and it doesnt hurt that i think he looks like me (minus the full beard though, that's nasty).  2nd choice would be chris capuano.  nothing flashy, but there isnt a guy on the team that trains as hard (maybe bush is close).

all-time favorite is jeff cirillo.  of course that is going back only about 20 years.  i could throw out ben oglive, hank aaron or somebody who played most of their games for milwaukee back in the 70's and early 80's, but i never seen any of them in person. 2nd choice is paul molitor.  glenn braggs, lyle overbay and carlos lee get honorable mention.

packers- this one is easy.  donald driver.  he goes out, catches everything thrown to him and doesnt get much respect from fans of other teams (or fans of former packer WR javon walker).  is he an elite #1 WR in the nfl?  if you have to be a diva to earn this status, then i guess he's not.  if all it takes is doing your job week in and week out, he's as good as it gets.  al harris and his hair get 2nd choice, and kudos to aaron kampman for being a stud DE, or an overachiever.  just depends on how you look at it.

all-time favorite is a tough one.  edgar bennett, dorsey levens, leroy butler, robert brooks (thanks to going over the middle way too much, his career ended too soon), and sterling sharpe come to mind.  i never was a big fan of reggie white, but i do give him credit for being a great player.

wisconsin badger FB- current favorite is travis beckham.  no relation to david.  former LB turned TE/WR led the team in receiving last year, and likely will do so again this year.  p.j. hill is my 2nd choice.  think ron dayne only with the ability to catch a pass now and then.

all-time favorite here is another tough one.  jim leonard quickly comes to mind.  as does terrell fletcher, dayne, darrell bevell, chris chambers, lee evans, al toon, and all the big hog o-linemen who went on to the nfl and did nothing (lol).

BB- hmmm.  i'm not sure who's left.  i'll have to go with marcus landry, carl's younger brother.  last winter the answer would have been chris rock kam taylor.

all-time favorite is danny jones.  not a household name, but he was the only reason to watch the team circa 1989.  tracy webster played about that same time, and he was a good PG.  michael finley is a no-brainer.  and even though i think he's an average (at best) nba'er, devin harris.  mike wilkonson (i think mike was his first name anyway) was a huge part of the team earlier this decade.  mike kelley demonstrated everything that a basketball player should be.  tenacious defender, solid ball handler, team leader, and could shoot free throws.  not the best jump shooter, but he was the key to wisconsin's defensive success during his 4 years in madtown.  for that, he's my 2nd choice.

women's BB- i wont even bother with current players.  i havent seen a game in years, and have no clue about any of the players.

all-time favorite is barb franke.  tall, good looking chicks who can play basketball are awesome.  she was about the only reason to watch the women play.  of course, the specific reason for watching her and danny jones are different.

there it is

as i've been known to do on occasion, i may have inadvertently left someone off one of these lists who deserved to be there.  i may have to amend something later on.

oh, and i also have to give ksp credit for coming up with "tidbitnessicity".  without him, the word would not exist.

thoughts, predictions, and other nonsense...that's what i'm here for.

prediction #1:  and it's a shocker....the gators will repeat as nat'l champs.  that's right, not only will they double dip on the court, but they'll share the spotlight of the school year athletic success with the football team.

#2:  georgetown is playing ohio state....one of these teams will play a large portion of each half without their big man.  call me crazy, but i'm betting it's the buckeyes.  oden has been getting in foul trouble regularly as of late, and now he actually has to defend another big man.  i should note that it wouldnt surprise me if BOTH these guys see more time on the bench than they do on the court.

#3:  joakim noah will run his mouth after the gators win.  can somebody explain to me why this guy is considered a top 5 lottery pick?  i mean, other than being tall (and skinny, and girly-looking), what's the big deal?  he looked like a big #### running around thumping his chest after the gators punched their ticket back to the final four. 

#4:  kevin durant will announce at some point during the final four that he's turning pro.  dont ask me why, it's just a hunch.  the dude just won player of the year, and he's going to make more money than Oprah (ok, maybe not quite that much) in endorsement deals.

......enough predictions.

since i dont know enough about all the teams around the country, i'd like to get an idea of who you think are the top 15 or so draft prospects.  dont worry about if they've declared yet or not, just give me your top 15 or so.  i'm curious to see how many names i really recognize, and how high you rate the ones i know.

i know about oden, durant, a little about 2 guys named wright, dominc james (who i dont think is ready based on his 2nd half of the season), hansbrough, noah, horford, brewer, alando tucker (who isnt likely to be a lottery pick), aaron gray (christian laettner's ####/clone/brother/cousin), fazekas....thats all i can think of at the moment....who else is there? and where do you rank them?