Rated "GI": For Generally Immature Audiences Only
by: cuziffer
random questions (and some predictions sure to go wrong)
Mar 23, 2008 | 2:50PM | report this

questions

what if the nba, nfl and mlb all awarded points to teams based on number of minutes led, or how many times they led after a quarter ended (sort of like racing does w/laps led, and hockey does with...w/e the heck they do)?

where is the next great duke product, j.j. redick?

or how about the latest next great duke product, josh mcroberts?

are they hiding with waldo?

why does it seem like every nfl team traded 1 of their best defensive linemen (DT especially) this offseason?

does it surprise ANYONE that the raiders traded for deangelo hall, and then gave him the keys to the franchise with a mega-contract?

does it surprise anyone that they also signed javon walker to a 6 year, $55 million deal, after coming off 2 MORE knee surgeries and missing 8 games last season?

what are the odds, after losing randal gya and asante samuel, that troy brown will be starting at CB for the pats next year?

the mlb season is about to begin....which team is going to be their version of the patriots, whom all their "fans" believe is destined to win the world series, only to a) bomb in the regular season, b) tank in the 1st round of the playoffs, or c) steam roll their way to the WS, only to get beat by a sub-par (or shall we just say NL...?) team?

does your bracket look as bad as mine?

where are the florida fans?  wait, i'm guessing they're rebuilding, along with the program.

hey, did jeff green, former g-town standout, go pro?  i swear he did, but i cant say i've heard a word about him.

does anyone think michael beasly, k-state freshman phenom, will return for his sophomore season?

predictions

next season, there will be a new nba team, consisting of patrick ewing, dikembe motumbo, alonzo mourning, roy hibbert....and earl boykins.

to solve their QB dillema, the bears will coax jim mcmahon out of retirement.

milwaukee bucks owner herb kohl will convince his new GM (larry harris couldnt wait to get out, as kohl wouldnt let him do....his JOB) to draft some lithuanian project, because he sees a boat load of money from merchandise sales.

heather mills will be forced to ride in the luggage compartment, as the $48.6 mil she got from paul mccartney just isnt enough to live on.

the ncaa tournament will expand from 64...err, i mean 65....to 96, giving the top 32 teams a 1st round bye, and the 97th team will whine incessently about how they should have gotten in.

the nba will scrap its current playoff format, and allow every team into the postseason, in an effort to extend the season as long as the nhl does.  1st round series will last 3 games, and teams will be re-seeded after each round.

tiger woods will begin playing tournaments blindfolded, and still win.  honestly, i'm questioning whether this guy is really that good, or if everyone else just believes if they're ahead after 3 rounds, they win.

barry bonds will sign a minor league contract w/the pirates, and even though both knees are shot, will be allowed to bat sitting in a wheel chair, still manage to hit the ball out of the park, and run over at least 1 opposing infielder and an umpire on his way around the bases.

john kruk, even with the pirates 23 games back on may 15th, will predict they take over 1st place by the 1st of june.

duke will lose early in the ncaa tourney  (oops...they already did).

the cubs will win the world series (ok, seriously, i have to stop this now).

2 Comments | Add a comment   categories: NBA, NFL, MLB, NCAA BB, Stuff And Junk, Randomnessicity, Other, Blogspot Beatdown, Cuziffer Sports Inter Network, CSIN, Why Cant We Say R3dneck Anymore, Back Talk From The Midwest
 
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ShooterB
Mar 27, 2008
1:09 PM
You had me until the point where you put Barry Bonds back with the Pirates.

fishboy07
Mar 28, 2008
3:30 PM
Funny Stuff. What is the name of the Ewing Motumbo Morning Hibbert Boykins NBA Team? I assume they will play in the Viagra Dome with Extenze as a corporate sponsor.

I see Bonds back, only with the cardinals. Tony LaRussa has a unique way of turning a blind eye to the roids.

If my cards don't make it to the WS, I have my fingers crossed for the Cubbies.

Bold Prediction: Charlie Weis implements a guest Offensive Coordinator program and invites in coaches from the patriots each week until Charlie learns how to be a head coach.

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