On the face of it, Manny Ramirez hiring Scott Boras is like President Bush hiring a campaign manager. Really, what's the use? Has all of Major League Baseball (both players and team ownership) decided to get together and drive Boras insane? A-Rod won't talk to him, Sheffield calls him a bad person, and now Manny wants his representation. But for what exactly? And why now?
The Red Sox hold team options on Manny -- $20 million per year in 2009 and 2010 -- so he can't opt out like A-Rod did last year. Meanwhile, Theo Epstein has said the Sox will wait until after the season before making a decision about Manny's 2009 option. He didn't, however, say the team would be unwilling to consider a new deal altogether. And really, when it comes down to it, why else would Ramirez need a negotiator like Boras?
Consider this: Ramirez has no chance of making $20 million a year anywhere else, so perhaps the two sides will agree to a three-year deal in the neighborhood of $15 million per season -- more total money than Ramirez would get if the Sox exercised the 2009 and 2010 options, more security for the player, but less per season on the Sox. As a fan, perhaps that's wishful thinking. But frankly, I can't think of any other reason why Ramirez would need to switch agents and bring in a negotiator like Boras. Unless, of course, he simply wants to drive the guy crazy with his eccentric demands. As a baseball fan, I'd be happy with that result too.
* The Red Sox are visiting the White House on Wednesday. Side bet: Larry Lucchino will be standing closer to President Bush than Theo Epstein when the press pool photo is released.
* I read that the Sox were taking Terry Francona out to dinner this week to discuss a contact extension. And by the Sox, I mean the entire management group, of course. According to the story, Francona is going to have dinner with Epstein, John Henry, Lucchino AND Tom Werner. The Sox initially wanted a table for 7, but Sen. George Mitchell and Bill James aren't able to make it. Listen, I know the Sox have won two titles in the last four years, and as a fan I shouldn't complain. But still I have to ask: "What the hell does Tom Werner do?"
* Veteran players have various reasons to return for "one more season." They're driven by a desire to win that elusive World Series, or perhaps reach a milestone, or perhaps make money after their ex takes half. These are the usual reasons. Mike Timlin has a new one: A desire to not look like a steroid cheat.
Timlin revealed to ESPN Radio’s Mike Salk that one of the reasons he decided to come back for another season was to make sure there were no questions regarding his injuries from last year, according to a story reported in the Boston Herald. His fear, he said, was that after a fairly injury-free career, the steroid whispers that have encompassed baseball might come his way.
“I’ve had a healthy career for the most part. I’ve been generally dependable and strong for most of my career,” Timlin said. “Now, as things are cleaning themselves up in baseball, I break down, and I don’t want to be associated with having injuries and breaking down at the same time things are disappearing out of baseball. I have never done that stuff, but I don’t want (it) to be speculated that I have.”
* The following players are members of my 2008 Tail-Off Team, which I'll be outlining in additional detail at bugsandcranks.com. (Please, contain your enthusiasm.) These are the guys who won't be matching their 2007 outputs, either because they got paid and won't be nearly as motivated (Jorge Posada and Mike Lowell), their catcher thinks they're a liar (Andy Pettitte), or they simply don't pass the sniff test. You don't want any of these guys on your fantasy team, mostly because you'll have to overpay for their services. Ya know, provided they actually play this year.
Posada Lowell Roger Clemens Barry Bonds Magglio Ordonez Carlos Pena Edgar Renteria Jeff Francoeur Reggie Willits Brandon Phillips Andy Pettitte Joe Blanton Ben Sheets Rich Harden Barry Zito Dontrelle Willis Gil Meche
* Apropos of nothing: I appreciate spring training so much more when there's snow on the ground in New England.
* Apropos of something: The whole A-Rod opt out/Cashman won't negotiate with him/Yankees lost face and look like wienies - story hasn't gotten much ink lately. Probably because the Bronx Bombers spent most of the winter not landing Johan Santana.
(Fort Myers, FLA) -- When I arrived yesterday at the Red Sox' spring training facility here in Florida, a beautiful media relations assistant handed me a sheet of helpful story ideas. She told me it's an open secret that baseball writers traditionally recycle the same spring training stories from year to year, so to save newbies like me from unnecessary exertion, the Major League Baseball media relations department has compiled a versatile list of tried and true story lines, useful in covering all 30 teams. As you'll see from this list, which I'm printing here at great professional risk, it's merely a matter of filling in the blanks and perhaps adding a few quotes.
Like you, I thought baseball writers actually worked during spring training. Turns out they just do Mad Libs.
* Due to visa problems in his home country of _______, outfielder _____ _____ will not be reporting to camp on time, said team spokesman _____ _____. "It's an outstanding traffic issue. An unpaid ticket. It's nothing really, simply paperwork. We expect him to be in camp soon and ready to go."
* Still battling the lingering effects of off-season surgery on his left ______, All-Star _____ baseman _____ _____ plans to go easy this spring, hoping not to reaggravate an injury that kept him shelved for the second half of last season. "It's a long season, ya know. If I'm going to be a help to my team in October, when we all hope to be playing, there's no sense pushing myself now."
* Mentioned in the Mitchell Report as one of the 89 players, current or former, who used performance-enhancing drugs, a contrite ____ ____ admitted to "mistakes in the past," but refused to go into detail about what exactly he did wrong and whether he considered himself a cheater.
* Several of his teammates were named in the Mitchell Report, but _______ shortstop _____ _____ refused to comment on what effect, if any, their public exposure will have on the team's 2008 campaign.
* Looking pasty and somewhat overweight, long-time hunter _____ _____ said he spent the off-season killing bears with a longbow on his ranch in north ______.
* Perennial MVP candidate _____ _____ says the _____ have a great chance to win the World Series this year. "If you don't come into camp thinking you have a chance, why come to camp at all?" he said. When asked if his assessment was "smack talk," ______ said, "Confidence isn't arrogance. If you can back it up, it ain't boasting."
* With his arbitration hearing scheduled for next ______, reigning National League _____ king _____ _____ said he expects to receive a fair salary. "Things are cool between me and _____ management," he said. "It's a business. They have to protect their interests, and I have to protect mine."
* To the surprise of everyone in the _____ camp, outfielder _____ _____ reported early.
* Unsigned beyond this season, veteran reliever _____ _____ says he intends to test the free-agent market, and has no intention of giving a home-town discount to the ______, for whom he's pitched his entire career.
* Incumbent ______ fielder _____ _____ says he's aware of the trade rumors surrounding him, and intends to compete vigorously with rookie phenom ______ _____ for the team's starting position and its leadoff spot in the order.
* Veteran designated hitter ____ _____ says he'd like to finish his career in ______, which signed him to an incentive-laden contract when no one else would. "I love it here. My wife and kids love the community too. It's our home now," he said.
* Manager _____ _____ says the team's April schedule looks rather _____, with three early series against division opponents. "Hey, we don't make the schedules, we just play the games they tell us to play," he said.
* Journeyman pitcher _____ _____, known for his bullpen antics and clubhouse spirit, says the groupies in ______ give the best ______.
Cleveland Indians fans ought to be rejoicing about C.C. Sabathia's decision to postpone contract negotiations until after the season. The reigning American Cy Young Award winner will be a free agent after 2008, and the Indians had reportedly offered him a contract extension in the neighborhood of four years/$68 million. But rather than sign what he believes is a below-market contract (especially in light of Johan Santana's $123.1 million deal with the New York Mets), Sabathia will pitch his walk year without the insurance of a long-term deal. If you're an Indians fan, you have to love this, because Sabathia will be motivated and focused, leading a pitching staff that took the World Series-winning Red Sox to 7 games in the American League Championship Series, as opposed to the Sabathia they could have had, i.e., a paid, content Shaun Alexander clone, who leads his team to the precipice of greatness, wins an MVP award, gets paid, lands on the cover of Madden football, can't stay healthy, and is soon splitting carries with Maurice Morris.
Let the player stay hungry, I say. Last season, that's what the Red Sox did with Curt Schilling and what the Yankees did with Mariano Rivera, and it certainly motivated those two guys, albeit after some ####ing, posturing and threats to walk after the season. Listen, the player can pout all he wants, but it does him no good. If he's in his walk year, he needs to perform in order to get paid well in his next contract.
What good is it to lock up Sabathia with a $100 million deal right now? Sure, it'd be great for him. But I'm telling you, that guy'd weigh 350 by the All-Star break, and frankly, I wouldn't blame him. If you handed me a guaranteed contract worth that kind of scratch, where's my head going to be? On staying fit, healthy and motivated? Or on buying a small private island in the Caribbean? It's quaint to say that players are professionals and they'll go out and do their jobs, regardless of whether they're making the league minimum or A-Rod money. But the fact is, they're humans first. Ask any Bronze Age caveman: "If you knew you could stay back at the fire, eat, drink and fornicate all day, wouldn't that affect your attitude towards hunting?" Of course it would, because in the back of his half-formed cranium, he's thinking, "Man, I don't need this ####"
All you need to know about $100 million contracts are the names of the pitchers who've signed them: Kevin Brown, Mike Hampton, Barry Zito and, now, Johan Santana. After signing their deals, Brown, Hampton and Zito won as many World Series as Joba Chamberlain. Sure, Zito only signed his contract last year, but the Giants will be contending for titles when Brian McNamee lands his next job in baseball.
On the face of it, the Mets fleeced the Twins by sending them the poo-poo platter for Santana, who's won two Cy Youngs in the last four years. But the Twins' biggest mistake was not keeping Santana and making him pitch through his walk year. I realize the Twins can't afford to pay him the same kind of money that Cleveland can possibly pay Sabathia, but the situation is somewhat comparable. The Indians, who haven't won a World Series since 1948, probably have no intention of signing Sabathia to a 6-year contract in the neighborhood of $120 million, even after this season. Consequently, they've decided to make their run now in 2008, which is exactly what the Twins should have done. With Santana and Francisco Liriano, I believe the Twins had an outstanding chance to win the World Series this season. Instead, they trade him to the Mets for a bunch of prospects, while the Tigers improved greatly and the Indians remain hungry and on the brink.
And what do the Mets get in Santana? They get a caveman with a full belly, who's supposed to be motivated by the opportunity to make his legacy in New York, winning championships.
Frankly, I'd rather have the hungry guy, motivated to get paid, rather than the paid guy, motivated to justify the money he's already received.
Topps baseball cards are hitting the market this week, and about one in every 70 packs will include a fake picture of Rudy Giuliani, the former New York City mayor, celebrating with the Red Sox on the field after their World Series win -- a liberty Topps took in creating various mock baseball cards this year, though Giuliani's will be the only one in wide release.
(For the full list of mock cards, see below).
Giuliani, a former presidential candidate, alienated some New York fans back in October by declaring he was rooting for Boston in the World Series -- "I'm an American league fan," he said -- and Topps ran with the idea, according to the Associated Press.
"We took that and thought it would make for a funny card, since the Red Sox won," said Clay Luraschi, baseball brand manager for The Topps Co. "We thought, let's put him in the championship dog pile."
Topps did something similar a year ago, inserting President Bush into the stands and Mickey Mantle into the dugout in the background of Derek Jeter's card.
Beyond the Giuliani card, the following baseball cards were created specially for Topps 2008, and sources tell me these rare and valuable pieces will be popping up in random packs as well.
* Rick Ankiel signing for a FedEx package.
* Kansas City Owner David Glass pushing a shopping cart out of Wal-Mart, filled with free agents who aren't good-value has-beens.
* Johnny Damon, his left arm replaced by the Bionic Woman's.
* Barry Bonds kissing the asterisk ball.
* Matt Holliday standing on first base, refusing to move.
* Moises Alou wiping his hands with a moist toilette.
* Mike Winters laughing at Milton Bradley as he writhes on the ground.
* C.C. Sabathia, his hat held straight by a neck halo.
* Brett Myers getting cold-cocked by his wife.
* Suzyn Waldman having sex with the New York Yankees.
* Eric Wedge burning a white towel.
* Clint Hurdle burning a white towel.
* Willie Randolph smoking a cigar.
* Manny Ramirez reaching into the Monster Seats to make a bare-handed grab.
* Joe Torre awake in the dugout.
* Sen. John Edwards chasing an ambulance.
* Jonathan Papelbon rooting through his dog's ####
I hope Barry Bonds hits 23 home runs in April, because the quicker Bonds breaks the record, the sooner we'll be done with it. Cynical? Perhaps. But if we elected Pete Rose to the Hall of Fame, we'd stop hearing about him too.
I've always appreciated the records in baseball, but upon reflection, records seem like a naive fixation. Babe Ruth accumulated his records versus all-white opponents, Roger Maris hit 61 home runs in an expansion year, and Mark McGwire was doing andro (at least), so none of these records, when viewed through the prism of history and context, are all they're cracked up to be.
No, I don't condone steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, but I knew back in 1998 that McGwire was on andro (and probably more), but I reveled in the Chase, and so did almost everyone else. What can I say, I like to be entertained. If that means my entertainers drop dead of drug use, well, ce la vie. I just wish they had the balls to admit their choices, because you can't have it both ways. You can't bask in the adulation of athletic achievement, but then get defensive when people suspect the adulation was garnered through fraud. Americans, for the most part, don't mind if you cheat to get an edge. But don't make us feel like we've been had, because that's one thing we will NOT tolerate.
Did baseball turn a blind eye to steroid use because it needed something to inflate its flagging popularity? Maybe. But no one at that time had the hard evidence or testimony that would come from Ken Caminiti or Jose Canseco. But now there is that evidence and it's being used as as excuse to flip over every rock in baseball. Yesterday Gary Sheffield called it a 'witch hunt," and in a sense, it is. At this point, it's a self-promulgating witch hunt, which will only die out when Barry Bonds breaks Hank Aaron's record.
Will I celebrate? No. But I will be very interested to see how fans react as he gets closer. After all, what's the use of striving for a record if the people think the record is ####? I mean, for the rest of his life (heck, for the rest of baseball history), every discussion of Barry Bonds's accomplishments will be tainted by equivocation: "Yeah, he was great, but."
Barry Bonds: The Great Equivocator.
Once he break the record, the respective situations with George Mitchell and the feds will die down greatly. Sure, people will continue to investigate, in hopes of putting an asterisk next to Bonds's name, or perhaps in hopes of charging him with perjury. But the home run record, for good or for bad, will have been broken, and that's what's driving everything: Investigations, the media, blogs, etc.
Some people seem to think that someone's going to produce some kind of evidence that's going to stop Bonds from breaking the record. That the feds are going to swoop in and shut down the chase. It's almost like the Democrats in 2004, waiting for the Republicans to roll out Osama bin Laden right before the election. It's paranoia mixed with wishful thinking.
At this point, there's no stopping it. Short of an assassin's bullet (and I AIN'T recommending that course), Bonds will break the all-time home run record. Consequently, I'm rooting for him to get it over quick. I hope he's healthy, and I hope he comes out of spring training swinging a Big Tatonka. I hope he hits 23 home runs as fast as possible and gets to 756. And I hope Hank Aaron and Bud Selig are in the stands, and I hope they treat him like Elia Kazin at the Oscars, and that they sit during the awkward attempt at a standing ovation. God knows I'll be mooning the television.
Good luck, Barry, you arrogant, fat-headed cheater. I'm pulling for ya
NFL: Wow, what a surprise that Hall of Fame human being Bill Belichick supposedly ordered former linebacker Ted Johnson to practice, even though Johnson, who'd suffered several concussions, kept introducing himself as Batman. Is the honeymoon over yet, Pats fans? How long's the Kool-Aid last?
Super Bowl: Sorry, but I'm having a helluva time caring about this Super Bowl, and not because I don't like players on both sides, but because there's no one to hate. A quick recap:
2005: Steelers/Seahawks. I'm a Steelers fan, so I was kind of hoping they won.
2004/2003/2001: I hate the Patriots, so I was rooting against them every time.
2003: I was rooting against Sapp and Keyshawn, even though they were playing the Raiders.
2000: Rams/Titans – that was the last time I had NO emotional investment whatsoever, and that turned out to be a great freaking game. Hopefully that portends good things for this Sunday. Good luck to Urlacher and Manning. (Peyton, that is, not Ricky Junior.)
NBA: Remember when Carmelo Anthony had street cred? (I'm getting this second-hand, of course, since I abstain from the streets). I see his photo on the cover of ESPN the Magazine, alongside Allen Iverson, and I can only chuckle at the jailhouse-looking tats on Melo, who pedaled away from Channing Frye like Deion dropping into coverage in 1989. Come on, Carmelo, you never have a second chance to make a first fight impression, especially when you're named after an Italian candy car (I have no idea if this is true, please don't kill me.)
MLB: Since Barry Bonds is showing an unwillingness to go away, die, or confess to Matt Lauer, and Bud Selig and the BALCO investigators have been unable to keep him from approaching 755 home runs, it seems there's only one way to keep Bonds from passing Hank Aaron: To sign Aaron and throw him epheus pitches all season. Aaron, who turns 72 on Monday, can still turn on a beach ball, so there's no reason he can't stay ahead of Bonds, who currently trails him by 22 long balls.
I think the Dodgers should sign Hammering Hank. Not only would it be a big middle finger to the arch-rival Giants, but Aaron still owes the Dodgers from 1974, when Al Downing grooved 715 down the middle. (Seriously, we've all seen replays of that, and it's the kind of home run ya hit in Tommy Lasorda Baseball, when you're pitching to yourself.)
MLB: Barry Bonds has finally agreed to a contract with the Giants, and the terms allow the team to terminate the contract if Bonds is indicted. When Bonds learned the terms are "unenforceable," he asked that his contract also be terminated if he's found black, fat, churly, or wearing a size 10 1/2 hat.
NFL: Yahoo's Dan Wetzel has a very interesting story about how the NFL's pension system is an injustice to Hall of Famers like Willie Wood and Herb Adderley, who have encountered a lot of post-career medical problems, mostly related to injuries sustained during their careers.
Here's the link:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AoXOAz.BcNCA Izi68vp_28g5nYcB?slug=dw-retiredplayers013007&prov =yhoo&type=lgns
I can see the point of older players, saying they built the league, but it's not like these guys got paid peanuts (relative to the rest of the population) back in the day, when the game was less popular. And it's not like they didn't have opportunities after the game was over, either signing autographs, coaching teams, or getting no-show jobs. On some level I feel bad for them, but what other industry gives great pensions to pioneers? These guys knew the risks of playing football, and while there are certainly sad cases (Willie Wood, Mike Webster), I'm not a fan of post de facto reparations. Should every NASCAR widow get more money now that the sport is huge?
These guys were paid to be entertainers, and they were paid relative to the popularity of the sport at the time they played. Chuck Berry doesn't get royalties off Rolling Stones albums, and Jerry Kramer doesn't deserve a cut of the money generated by today's NFL.
NFL: This week Ohio State's Ted Ginn Jr. and Troy Smith both announced that they want to play for the Cleveland Browns next year. Las Vegas announced that the over-under on their Wonderlic tests is 1.
WRESTLING: In Minnesota, high school wrestling programs were suspended Tuesday because of a widespread #### outbreak. It's a tough break for these grapplers, who'll have #### for the rest of their lives, but at least they got to live the dream and rolled around with other guys before their sexual lives ended.
NFL: Good to see that Jerry Jones learned nothing from the Parcells experiment, and is set to hire another over-the-hill coach who lacks the firepower to keep up with young turks. Jones has supposedly targeted Norv Turner Overdrive as the next coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Turner, who turned Troy Aikman into Neil O'Donnell with a better offensive line, reportedly beat out Dywade Phillips, another great coordinator who has failed as a head coach. Turner, Phillips, Dave Wannstedt, #### LeBeau, and Dom Capers are fine coordinators, but why in the name of Barbaro do people make the mistake of hiring them as head coaches? Enjoy, Cowboys fans, you'll be looking for a new head coach in two years, tops, which is about the same time Tony Romo will have regained his confidence.
Overheard: Ronnie Lott's amputated pinky to Peyton Manning's bruised thumb: "Whiny little bizaatch."
Prediction: Brian Griese plays a vital role in Super Bowl XLI.
MLB: Why couldn't we have euthanized Barry Bonds instead of Barbaro? I'd have rather watched a racehorse challenge Hank Aaron's career homerun record than a guy who got his middle name (Lamar) from the black homosexual in "Revenge of the Nerds."
Roger Clemens Watch!!!!: "If somebody makes a phone call, and I think I can do it again physically, I probably could," Clemens said of playing in 2007. "The only reason why I'd continued to play was because of my teammates calling me.” And then Clemens added, "And that includes my old teammates at the University of Texas. I'll audit classes and forge my birth certificate. Anything to keep playing. Love me, please love me. Want me, please want me."
MLB: Remember in 2005 when the Red Sox ended the season against the Yankees, and those games really mattered (ya know, until the Indians soiled their mocassins)? Well, apparently the geniuses in the MLB scheduling office have since been fired, because this is how the Sox and Yankees will end 2007: Red Sox play six games against the Twins (from the Central) and Oakland (from the West), while the Yankees end the season with 18 straight game against the AL East. Nice job of balancing things, fellas.
Golf: Yeah, we get it, Tiger Woods is good, but stop with this talk of a consecutive wins streak. He still gets to pick and choose when he plays, and Eldrick has only played seven PGA tournaments since last summer, which qualifies him for unemployment in 48 states and Guam. Win seven golf tourneys in seven weeks, then I'll be impressed (but I still won't call it a sport).
College basketball: Vandy in the top 25, baby, and now the Dores play Florida on Wednesday, which means I have two full days before I have to eat crow. If I've learned one thing in life, it's you never pass up the opportunity to trash talk on the Internet, and so my prediction is Dores by 75!
Barry Bonds today claimed he's not black, just well tanned, and he blamed his condition on God, who created the sun but did not tell Barry that it would give him color.
So, Barry popped amphetamines. Shocker. Frankly, I have nothing against speed, since I freebase caffeine every day, but dropping Sweeney's name is bush league. I don't give a toot if Barry's taking speed, but I do care that he's not man enough to admit it. That's always been the thing about these guys who cheat but won't take responsibility: If they didn't care what people thought, then they'd just tell the truth. But they do care, and so they lie. And if they care to lie, then I care to say #### you, ya big baby.
At least Canseco and Giambi were honest. These other clowns - Palmeiro, McGwire, Bonds, Sheffield, Ben Johson, Floyd Landis - want you to think that they achieved all these great athletic feats on their own. They're trying to sell us on a fraudulent image. If you want to buy that front, so be it. But momma didn't raise no fool, and I don't need to see Barry Bonds with a needle hanging out of his left butt cheek to know he's a liar and a cheater. I have his own words: "It wasn't mine, it was Mark Sweeney's. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD."
FOOTBALL Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy on ESPN.com, says in his NFL preview: "Tiki Barber has been plugging away for 10 years, and even though he has
2-3 solid years left in him, he's quitting this winter to pursue other
ventures. Um, Tiki? That was gonna be my move! You stole my idea! I'm
outraged! Now I'm going to look like a copycat if it happens. Great."
So, seems Simmons has the same bug. If these two guys were granted one wish in the world, they would want to see their own funerals. "Oh, Bill, please don't leave us, Bill...all the plants will die!"
Don't get me wrong, I love Simmons. Ya know, when he's not mailing it in, which he did today with this lame volley: 18. Pittsburgh (2-4) The way Ben Roethlisberger's year is going, I keep waiting for him to show up as this week's celebrity cameo on "Studio 60."
How 'bout a little more respect for the defending Super Bowl champions? As in, be funny (the ranking is about right). Anyway, I won't bother breaking down his NFL picks. After all, his wife has the same record as him, so I can't. I just can't.
BASEBALL How can the Padres let Bruce "Big Head" Bochy just glide up the coast to San Fran? Could this only happen in laissez faire San Diego? This guy just managed the team to consecutive playoff appearances for the first time in its history, and they let him skate, to go manage a team in their own division? What, were the Padres sick of paying for his special-order baseball hats? In terms of San Diego baseball history, this guy is basically their greatest manager, and now he'll have the opportunity to humiliate the team 19 times per season. And the Padres completely signed off on this, just let him walk. Unless #### Williams has washed up in a scotch bottle in La Jolla, and is ready to take over, this was a huge mistake.
HOCKEY Cliff Ronning, Vancouver Canucks, Sega NHL '93. I will make you bleed. Sorry, I don't read about hockey, but Cliff is good memories.
BASKETBALL ESPN.com has a headline that says "Pierce has ruptured ligament in knee, will need surgery." They might want to think about changing that. Ya know, now that all the hoops fans in Boston have considered suicide. (The Pierce in question is Mary, though you can't tell that from the headline.)
Cameron Martin. Finalist in Fox Sports Next Great Sportswriter contest. I cover the Red Sox for Comcast SportsNet New England and Major League Baseball for
Bugs & Cranks
(Fort Myers, FLA) -- When I arrived yesterday at the Red Sox' spring training facility here in Florida, a beautiful media relations assistant handed me a sheet of helpful story ideas. She told me it's an open secret that baseball writers traditionally recycle the same spring training stories from year to year, so to save newbies like me from unnecessary exertion, the Major League Baseball media relations department has compiled a versatile list of tried and true story lines, useful in covering all 30 teams. As you'll see from this list, which I'm printing here at great professional risk, it's merely a matter of filling in the blanks and perhaps adding a few quotes. 
Let the player stay hungry, I say. Last season, that's what the Red Sox did with Curt Schilling and what the Yankees did with Mariano Rivera, and it certainly motivated those two guys, albeit after some 
