On the face of it, Manny Ramirez hiring Scott Boras is like President Bush hiring a campaign manager. Really, what's the use? Has all of Major League Baseball (both players and team ownership) decided to get together and drive Boras insane? A-Rod won't talk to him, Sheffield calls him a bad person, and now Manny wants his representation. But for what exactly? And why now?
The Red Sox hold team options on Manny -- $20 million per year in 2009 and 2010 -- so he can't opt out like A-Rod did last year. Meanwhile, Theo Epstein has said the Sox will wait until after the season before making a decision about Manny's 2009 option. He didn't, however, say the team would be unwilling to consider a new deal altogether. And really, when it comes down to it, why else would Ramirez need a negotiator like Boras?
Consider this: Ramirez has no chance of making $20 million a year anywhere else, so perhaps the two sides will agree to a three-year deal in the neighborhood of $15 million per season -- more total money than Ramirez would get if the Sox exercised the 2009 and 2010 options, more security for the player, but less per season on the Sox. As a fan, perhaps that's wishful thinking. But frankly, I can't think of any other reason why Ramirez would need to switch agents and bring in a negotiator like Boras. Unless, of course, he simply wants to drive the guy crazy with his eccentric demands. As a baseball fan, I'd be happy with that result too.
* The Red Sox are visiting the White House on Wednesday. Side bet: Larry Lucchino will be standing closer to President Bush than Theo Epstein when the press pool photo is released.
* I read that the Sox were taking Terry Francona out to dinner this week to discuss a contact extension. And by the Sox, I mean the entire management group, of course. According to the story, Francona is going to have dinner with Epstein, John Henry, Lucchino AND Tom Werner. The Sox initially wanted a table for 7, but Sen. George Mitchell and Bill James aren't able to make it. Listen, I know the Sox have won two titles in the last four years, and as a fan I shouldn't complain. But still I have to ask: "What the hell does Tom Werner do?"
* Veteran players have various reasons to return for "one more season." They're driven by a desire to win that elusive World Series, or perhaps reach a milestone, or perhaps make money after their ex takes half. These are the usual reasons. Mike Timlin has a new one: A desire to not look like a steroid cheat.
Timlin revealed to ESPN Radio’s Mike Salk that one of the reasons he decided to come back for another season was to make sure there were no questions regarding his injuries from last year, according to a story reported in the Boston Herald. His fear, he said, was that after a fairly injury-free career, the steroid whispers that have encompassed baseball might come his way.
“I’ve had a healthy career for the most part. I’ve been generally dependable and strong for most of my career,” Timlin said. “Now, as things are cleaning themselves up in baseball, I break down, and I don’t want to be associated with having injuries and breaking down at the same time things are disappearing out of baseball. I have never done that stuff, but I don’t want (it) to be speculated that I have.”
* The following players are members of my 2008 Tail-Off Team, which I'll be outlining in additional detail at bugsandcranks.com. (Please, contain your enthusiasm.) These are the guys who won't be matching their 2007 outputs, either because they got paid and won't be nearly as motivated (Jorge Posada and Mike Lowell), their catcher thinks they're a liar (Andy Pettitte), or they simply don't pass the sniff test. You don't want any of these guys on your fantasy team, mostly because you'll have to overpay for their services. Ya know, provided they actually play this year.
Posada Lowell Roger Clemens Barry Bonds Magglio Ordonez Carlos Pena Edgar Renteria Jeff Francoeur Reggie Willits Brandon Phillips Andy Pettitte Joe Blanton Ben Sheets Rich Harden Barry Zito Dontrelle Willis Gil Meche
* Apropos of nothing: I appreciate spring training so much more when there's snow on the ground in New England.
* Apropos of something: The whole A-Rod opt out/Cashman won't negotiate with him/Yankees lost face and look like wienies - story hasn't gotten much ink lately. Probably because the Bronx Bombers spent most of the winter not landing Johan Santana.
Now that the Mitchell report has blemished the on-field accomplishments of so many players from the Steroids Era, "clean" players like Mike Mussina and Pedro Martinez are congratulating themselves for doing so well during that period of inflated power numbers.
Mussina, a 250-game winner during a major league career that began in 1991, said this yesterday of people (like teammate Andy Pettitte) who've admitted using performance-enhancing drugs: "That's just the decision they made. I feel better about myself because I competed against them and I succeeded."
Apparently Mussina had been down on himself lately, which makes sense given his 2007 season (11-10 record, 5.15 ERA).
Martinez, meanwhile, fresh off the recent news that he enjoys watching chickens peck each other to death, said his accomplishments -- 3 Cy Youngs and the near-beheading of Don Zimmer -- look even better now, given the revelations about the Steroids Era.
"I dominated that era and I did it clean," he said. "I can stand by my numbers and I can be proud of them."
Left unsaid by holier-than-thou players like Mussina and Martinez is how their silence (and that of many other players, coaches and baseball officials) helped contribute to the Steroids Era in the first place. It's quaint how they think that going about their business and not worrying about the actions of others somehow makes them inculpabe. Mussina feels better about himself? Of course he does, because now he can look down his nose at Andy Pettitte (a true big game pitcher, which Mussina never was) and think, "Well, I may have never won 20 games, a Cy Young or a World Series, but at least I didn't take HGH from my ailing father."
Congratulations, Mussina, you're a paragon of virtue. You may not have taken performance-enhancing drugs, but you didn't prevent others players from taking them either. Moreover, you didn't report their use to the league. But I'm sure a Stanford grad like you, who thinks Will Shortz is a genius, had no idea that other players in your clubhouse were dabbling, including Roger Clemens, Pettitte, Jason Giambi and Mike Stanton. Even if had you possessed those basic powers of common sense and observation, clubhouse culture would have precluded you from ratting on your them, wouldn't it? So you're free and clear. Free and clear to continue playing with cheaters and benefitting from their skills -- at the plate and in the field. And free and clear to ride their coattails towards that elusive World Series title, while making millions of dollars as a New York Yankee. And as one of them (Pettitte) gets dragged through the village square and pelted with apples, you can also stand above the fray and feel "better about yourself."
You're a real man among boys, Mussina.
I ought to warn you though: You and Pedro should not to pat yourselves on the back so hard. You're risking injury, which is particularly foolish in your walk years. And god knows the two of you have many more years to feel good about yourselves -- doing crosswords and watching cockfights, that is.
NFL: If Jim Zorn can teach Jason Campbell to throw left-handed, then his hiring makes sense.
NHL: Sadly, if you ask me what's been going on in hockey lately, I'll say players are purse-snatching, Sidney Crosby's still injured and some guy almost got decapitated by another player's skate. That's about it.
NBA: Word is the Knicks are shopping Zach Randolph and Eddie Curry. They should send them to the Lakers for an autographed copy of "Fletch Lives," and send Gregg Popovich a wheel of Jarlsberg cheese, to enjoy with his whine.
NBA 2: Watched "Little Children" with Kate Winslet yesterday. Steve Nash should have won an Oscar for his role as the child molester.
Golf: "A tradition unlike any other...January commercials for April's Masters."
Sportswriting: I think it's official: Bill Simmons has completely crossed over. When he first arrived at ESPN early this decade, he provided a unique perspective -- the fan's perspective. It was something of a public trust. We could relate to him (or, I could anyway) because he rooted for teams that sucked. Now his teams are all successful and (this is the capper) he actually planned to spend the Super Bowl after-party hanging out with Brady and Gisele, whom he knows through mutual friends. Um, what? Who can relate to this? Sorry, Bill, but you've lost the public trust. ESPN needs to start over here. They need to replace Simmons with a writer whose teams mostly suck and who'll never get invited to hang out with celebrities. In short, they need to replace him with me. And then, as soon as Vanderbilt wins a bowl game (which should happen in the next 10-25 years), they should replace me with someone else. Say, a sportswriter from Cleveland or Seattle?
NASCAR: This is only the 50th running of the Daytona 500? Perhaps by the 75th I'll understand the attraction.
MLB: My question is not for Roger Clemens or Brian McNamee, but for Clemens's wife, Debbie. If it's true that McNamee injected her with HGH, it stands to reason that she knows that McNamee injected her husband as well, and that her husband will be lying to Congress. If he does that, he might be facing jail time, which will not only ruin the family's reputation, but make holiday plans a bit dicey for the foreseeable future. Given that, I'd love to know," What advice, Debbie, do you have for your husband in advance of tomorrow's hearing?" Really, if she knows he's lying, and she knows the consequences, then what's that say about her?
Apropos of nothing (?): God makes 'em and he matches 'em.
College hoops: I wrote about this a few weeks ago in my blog, and zero commenters were good enough to leave their thoughts, but does anyone really expect Memphis, a team that shoots under 60 percent from the foul line collectively, to go undefeated this season? That's like expecting a football team to go undefeated when it can't make field goals from more than 45 yards. Eventually, your weaknesses are going to be exposed.
According to testimony from embattled trainer Brian McNamee, Roger Clemens's dog, KK, was injected with HGH before several Christmas card shoots. These holiday cards ultimately featured KK, Roger Clemens, his wife, Debbie, and their four children, Koby, Kory, Kacy and Kody.
This latest revelation comes on the heals of another bombshell: that McNamee injected Debbie with HGH before a Sports Illustrated photo shoot in 2003.
Clemens's lawyer, Rusty Hardin, scoffed at the latest accusation from McNamee, who also claims he injected Clemens with steroids and HGH on numerous occasions in the last decade.
"What's next, that he injected the four kids? Or the maid? How about the gold fish? This guy has no shame. If KK had taken HGH, wouldn't he have a fifth paw coming out of his forehead?"
Topps baseball cards are hitting the market this week, and about one in every 70 packs will include a fake picture of Rudy Giuliani, the former New York City mayor, celebrating with the Red Sox on the field after their World Series win -- a liberty Topps took in creating various mock baseball cards this year, though Giuliani's will be the only one in wide release.
(For the full list of mock cards, see below).
Giuliani, a former presidential candidate, alienated some New York fans back in October by declaring he was rooting for Boston in the World Series -- "I'm an American league fan," he said -- and Topps ran with the idea, according to the Associated Press.
"We took that and thought it would make for a funny card, since the Red Sox won," said Clay Luraschi, baseball brand manager for The Topps Co. "We thought, let's put him in the championship dog pile."
Topps did something similar a year ago, inserting President Bush into the stands and Mickey Mantle into the dugout in the background of Derek Jeter's card.
Beyond the Giuliani card, the following baseball cards were created specially for Topps 2008, and sources tell me these rare and valuable pieces will be popping up in random packs as well.
* Rick Ankiel signing for a FedEx package.
* Kansas City Owner David Glass pushing a shopping cart out of Wal-Mart, filled with free agents who aren't good-value has-beens.
* Johnny Damon, his left arm replaced by the Bionic Woman's.
* Barry Bonds kissing the asterisk ball.
* Matt Holliday standing on first base, refusing to move.
* Moises Alou wiping his hands with a moist toilette.
* Mike Winters laughing at Milton Bradley as he writhes on the ground.
* C.C. Sabathia, his hat held straight by a neck halo.
* Brett Myers getting cold-cocked by his wife.
* Suzyn Waldman having sex with the New York Yankees.
* Eric Wedge burning a white towel.
* Clint Hurdle burning a white towel.
* Willie Randolph smoking a cigar.
* Manny Ramirez reaching into the Monster Seats to make a bare-handed grab.
* Joe Torre awake in the dugout.
* Sen. John Edwards chasing an ambulance.
* Jonathan Papelbon rooting through his dog's ####
* The New England Patriots are the only NFL team to lose Super Bowls in two different helmets. No matter what happens Sunday, that'll still be true, because the Giants have the same logo they had in 2001.
* I hope to hear a "Yankees suck" cheer at University of Phoenix Stadium, even though I'm rooting for the Giants.
* Jason Kidd should be traded to the Knicks. Then he'll be the first person in American history to realize how good they had it in New Jersey.
* Roger Clemens looks more desperate and pathetic with every passing day. Now he's trying to deflect criticism of his late-career surge by comparing it to the careers of Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling. I'm sure they love being lumped together with a guy who calls his ex-trainer on the phone, feigns interest in the kid's ill son, then secretly tape records the conversation, all in the unrealized hopes of getting the guy to recant his story that Clemens took steroids. Roger, the court of public opinion already made its decision: You and Floyd Landis should go bowling together.
* The Red Sox are reportedly going to wait until after the season to exercise Manny Ramirez's 2009 option ($20 million), which makes perfect sense. Last year the Sox irked Curt Schilling by waiting to see what kind of season he'd have, and so did the Yankees with Mariano Rivera, letting them play out their walk years without future job security. Both Schilling and Rivera stomped their feet, said they'd play out their last years and then test the free-agent market. So what happened? They performed like motivated pitchers playing for their next contracts, and ultimately re-upped with their respective teams.
In Ramirez's case, the Red Sox hold $20 million options on him for 2009 AND 2010. Considering Ramirez will be 37 in May of 2009, the $40 million he stands to make with Boston in those two years is much better than any long-term deal he can reasonably expect to sign somewhere else. Consider, if Ramirez replicates his un-Manny-like numbers from last year -- 20 home runs, 80 RBIs, and less than 140 games played for the second straight season -- the Red Sox won't be eager to pay $20 million to a 37-year-old slugger who plays terrible defense.
Most players would use this kind of situation as motivation, but there's no telling how Ramirez will react. Perhaps he'll sulk. Perhaps he'll ask to be traded. Or perhaps he'll realize that playing with incentive -- actually, 20 million incentives -- will bring out the best in him, and help him revert to his Hall of Fame-caliber numbers.
* Word is Hal Steinbrenner (the sane one) and Yankees GM Brian Cashman have convinced Baby 'Brenner (the smoking one) not to overpay with prospects for Johan Santana. While that's probably the wise choice, you just get the sense that Baby 'Brenner is gonna go ballistic in the press (probably on Cashman) if Santana lands in Boston or Flushing.
* Pitchers and catchers report on February 14, so wives of rabid baseball fans should expect sex, chocolate, and due dates around Thanksgiving. Let's make it a fecund year for baseball fanatics, shall we.
Some outtakes from today's Congressional baseball hearings:
* "I'm not here to talk about Roger's ####." -- MLB Commissioner Bud Selig
* "Mr. Fehr, please state for the record that your last name is misspelled, and that it's actually pronounced 'Fear' " -- Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform
* "Senator Mitchell, what would you say to a Red Sox fan who says, 'Great job nailing all them dirty, cheatin' Yankees'?" -- Rep. Stephen F. ####, D-Massachusetts
* "Gentlemen, last time we met was March 17, 2005, when we listened to unsubstantiated #### and missed out on green wings and half-priced pitchers at Applebees, so please don't waste my (bleeping) time again." -- Rep. Tom Davis (R-Virg), Ranking Minority Member
* "Yes, senator, I do think Fay is a rather sissy name for a sports commissioner." -- Commissioner Selig
* "Senator Mitchell, please explain a little something to those of who don't quite understand your 'unimpeachable' record: Why, exactly, would anyone listen to a fella from Maine?" -- Rep. Kenny Marchant (R-Texas)
* (Pointing his finger at the Congressional panel) "I did NOT sell a lemon to anyone, ever." -- Commissioner Selig
* "If you had to estimate, commissioner, just how small do you think their thingies are after all this drug use?" -- Rep. Waxman
* "I told you so!" -- Jose Canseco
* "Representative Marchant, why would I care if Tony Romo went to Mexico?" -- Commissioner Selig.
* "Commissioner Selig, do you think steroids affected Chuck Knoblauch's ability to throw to first base?" -- Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC)
* "My wife is pretty damn hot, isn't she?" -- Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio)
* "Can someone tell me once and for all: Did Roger Clemens's lawyer own and operate the restaurant on "Northern Exposure"? -- Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn)
* "Senator, it's been a long time since a grown man made light of my name, but thank you for that." -- Michael ####, general counsel for the MLB players union, and Fehr's point man on the steroids issue
* "Frankly, if some abscessed-butt athlete called my house, acted like he was worried about my son, then tried to trap me into recanting my story in a moment of weakness? All while taping it? Why, I'd say that boy's got a future in politics." -- Rep. Dan Burton (R-Indiana)
NFL: Good to see that Jerry Jones learned nothing from the Parcells experiment, and is set to hire another over-the-hill coach who lacks the firepower to keep up with young turks. Jones has supposedly targeted Norv Turner Overdrive as the next coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Turner, who turned Troy Aikman into Neil O'Donnell with a better offensive line, reportedly beat out Dywade Phillips, another great coordinator who has failed as a head coach. Turner, Phillips, Dave Wannstedt, #### LeBeau, and Dom Capers are fine coordinators, but why in the name of Barbaro do people make the mistake of hiring them as head coaches? Enjoy, Cowboys fans, you'll be looking for a new head coach in two years, tops, which is about the same time Tony Romo will have regained his confidence.
Overheard: Ronnie Lott's amputated pinky to Peyton Manning's bruised thumb: "Whiny little bizaatch."
Prediction: Brian Griese plays a vital role in Super Bowl XLI.
MLB: Why couldn't we have euthanized Barry Bonds instead of Barbaro? I'd have rather watched a racehorse challenge Hank Aaron's career homerun record than a guy who got his middle name (Lamar) from the black homosexual in "Revenge of the Nerds."
Roger Clemens Watch!!!!: "If somebody makes a phone call, and I think I can do it again physically, I probably could," Clemens said of playing in 2007. "The only reason why I'd continued to play was because of my teammates calling me.” And then Clemens added, "And that includes my old teammates at the University of Texas. I'll audit classes and forge my birth certificate. Anything to keep playing. Love me, please love me. Want me, please want me."
MLB: Remember in 2005 when the Red Sox ended the season against the Yankees, and those games really mattered (ya know, until the Indians soiled their mocassins)? Well, apparently the geniuses in the MLB scheduling office have since been fired, because this is how the Sox and Yankees will end 2007: Red Sox play six games against the Twins (from the Central) and Oakland (from the West), while the Yankees end the season with 18 straight game against the AL East. Nice job of balancing things, fellas.
Golf: Yeah, we get it, Tiger Woods is good, but stop with this talk of a consecutive wins streak. He still gets to pick and choose when he plays, and Eldrick has only played seven PGA tournaments since last summer, which qualifies him for unemployment in 48 states and Guam. Win seven golf tourneys in seven weeks, then I'll be impressed (but I still won't call it a sport).
College basketball: Vandy in the top 25, baby, and now the Dores play Florida on Wednesday, which means I have two full days before I have to eat crow. If I've learned one thing in life, it's you never pass up the opportunity to trash talk on the Internet, and so my prediction is Dores by 75!
Cameron Martin. Finalist in Fox Sports Next Great Sportswriter contest. I cover the Red Sox for Comcast SportsNet New England and Major League Baseball for
Bugs & Cranks
