DISCLAIMER----THIS IS AN ENTRY IN LORI'S COMPETITION. IF YOU THINK IT'S SERIOUS, PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL HELP.

The following events take place between 7:00pm Feb 16 and 7:00pm Feb 17.

7:00pm Feb 16.......Buffy Waltrip calls Paul Andrews, her husband's crew chief, looking for Mike. Paul hasn't seen him in over an hour. He reassures Buffy that Mikey should get back to the condo soon.

1:15am Feb 17.....Countryjag last seen entering Lollipops Exotic Show Bar.

8:00am..........Andrews can't find Mikey anywhere.

8:50am.......Jag sits, cussing at a drive thru window for fifteen minutes before he remembers that Chick-fil-ay isn't open on Sunday.

9:45am.........CJ enters the massive infield, and notices something over his rental car's sun visor. It's a hot pit pass. Upon closer inspection it is signed love, Diamond. and has a phone number written on the back.

10:00am......Buffy is holding a press conference. She doesn't look happy. Mikey's out and Darrell is in for today's race.

11:15am......Jag chokes down his third beer, and notices Chris Meyer, Ned Jarrett, and some suit talking. CJ wanders into the conversation. Turns out the suit is a FOX producer, and he invites CJ to appear on the pre race show with a fan's point of view.

1:35pm.......A jack 'falls' on Jeff Hammond's head on the way to the Hollywood Hotel.

2:00pm.......Meyer intros the pre race show with Countryjag, and Ned taking the injured Hammond's spot.

2:45pm.......The Fox producers are so impressed by Ned's expertise and Jag's witty banter that they invite both of them to the broadcast booth to cover the race since DW's out.

3:30pm......CJ gets the 500 started with his catch phrase "Boola, Boola, Boola. Let's win one for the stripper!"

5:00pm......Lap 80. Jr. has led 40 laps so far.

5:20pm.....Montoya starts the big one. Countryjag gets bleeped for saying the S word, the B word, and the F word all in one sentence describing Montoya and his driving.

5:50pm.....Lap 140. Your top five are....Jr., Gordon, Kyle Busch, Dale Jarrett and old D Dub.

6:40pm.....One lap to go. Top three of DJ, Jr. and DW have broken away. We turn the stick over to Ned as they roar down the backstretch. "It's the Dale, Dale, and Darrell show! You know which one I'm pullin for. Into turn three, don't let him down there Dale. Stay low, and bring it home like I taught you!"

6:41pm.......Dale and  Dale are coming out of four sliding, slamming, bamming together! DW looks low, then swings to the outside. They're three wide in the trioval. All three are touching together as smoke pours out from between the fenders and tires. At the line it's...it's.....it's too close to call! CJ slurs out "Are you guys blind? DJ won by two feet."

6:42pm.......Mike Joy announces "We now have a replay from the finish line camera, and it looks like it is, it is Darrell Waltrip, Ol DW has done it again!"

6:50pm......There is a wild celebration going on in Victory Lane. DW is crying on cue for the cameras, when in the background there comes a solitary figure. It's Mike Waltrip. He's wearing a tee shirt, socks, and boxers only. Once again, Buffy doesn't look happy.